Discipline 1.4

Something was watching me.

I could feel it. It was like a pair of eyes, burrowing their way into the back of my neck. It was that thing again. The blood god. Khorne. It was sudden, like a storm of fire and metal just appearing in the back of my mind. I felt nervous as I walked. My footsteps echoed out into the dark. I was pacing. They were frantic steps, a sort of abundant energy pervading them.

For a moment, It was too much. It poured over me like acid rain, billowing through my mind. Then, all of a sudden, it dulled. It wasn't as overwhelming as before. It felt a bit muted. Distant even. I couldn't quite put it into words. It was almost as if the god was peering at me through clouded glass. It was odd. For some reason, he pulled back. I had tried to shut him out, to make him go away completely. There wasn't any reaction. It stayed there. Quiet, but still present. It felt like a bubbling volcano waiting to erupt. It scared me.

I didn't even know why the blood god took a sudden interest.

Freed and I had been speaking to each other about our little "mission", and it was there. I had frozen mid-word, like a deer in headlights. I winced. Instinctively, my lips pulled themselves over my gums. It felt like a shotgun went off in my head. When it faded, I saw a pale white hand waving in front of my face.

Freed looked down on me. The expression on his face was twisted. A mixture of concern and intrigue. I felt bile crawl its way up my throat as he pulled me up. My new axe jingled in its ring. It felt heavy on my side.

"You alright?" asked Freed.

I could see him looking me over. It wasn't really concern in his eyes. I knew it couldn't be. There was always something behind it with him. He saw me as interesting. He saw me as a challenge. He thought I was fun. The stray exorcist treated me like some kind of toy. It was as simple as that. If there was one thing I knew about the man, Freed didn't like it when someone broke something that was his.

If he wasn't lying, he'd killed over less. The stray exorcist had decided to regale me with a few of his past "conquests" during his usual mad ramblings. He talked about his kills like past lovers. With the manic smile on his face as he told the story, I was inclined to believe him.

"Nothing. It's nothing." I replied.

Pale white teeth showed through Freed's lips. Slowly, he pulled away. His red eyes gazed into the distant dark. Kuoh town was an entirely different beast at night. The town, it was eerie. The whole place was like some horror show brought to life. The odd Victorian buildings mixed with the concrete jungle of Japanese architecture seemed to lengthen in the black of night. The constant feeling of something watching me certainly didn't help. The only thing giving me comfort was the axe on my hip.

"Alright then." Freed pursed his lips, turning to look at me. I could see a bit of confusion in his eyes. "I still don't get it. Why didn't you want to bring her with us? The nun. Her sacred gear, it's useful."

He still didn't refer to her by her name. In a way, it was sickening. I couldn't count the number of times that Asia had saved Freed's life by now. Our little "spars" had gotten intense. There were also a number of times when Freed had come back to the church mortally wounded. I didn't know how he got like that; the man refused to explain. It didn't matter though. He still just treated her like a thing, just some tool to be used. At first, it pissed me off. Hell, it still did, but with time I learned.

Freed Sellzen was a distorted man.

With the way he talked, I thought it might've been because Asia was a woman. It didn't really make sense to me, to judge people like that. Unfortunately, he didn't just see her as lesser because of her sex. It was worse. The stray exorcist saw everyone like that. Every single person. It didn't matter who. It could've been the depraved man's own mother. He still saw them as nothing other than tools. Interacting with Freed was trying at the best of times.

At least he seemed to tone it down with the sexual remarks around Asia. I doubted that was because of his growth as a person. Most likely, it was because of me. Freed could tell I didn't like it. I tried not to show it, but if you were to look at my face, it was easy to see. I'd also told him off a few times over it too. Freed was weird. The man bounced from one emotion to the next like a basketball off a backboard. I didn't know what to think about him. He went from literally trying to kill me to acting like some kind of...I didn't know what to call it. A friend? No, that was too close. An acquaintance? That was too distant. Sparring partner? Whatever. Freed decided to try and put himself somewhere in the middle of them all.

It wasn't endearing. Especially so, when I considered that he only started to treat me better when I agreed to fight with him. The man got some kind of perverse pleasure out of it. Something was fundamentally wrong with Freed's brain. It was only marginally better than before. He still didn't actually treat me like a person.

"She's not suited to this type of stuff." I paused, trying to think of the best way to describe it. A small frown came to my face as the next word came out. "This wetwork is a bit too much for her. Besides we're going after another stray right? With my healing, it ain't like we can't do it ourselves."

Freed smiled. I could feel a shiver travel up my spine as he spoke. Nasally, Freed noted, "You're wrong about one thing there."

I turned to him. "What?" I asked.

"We're not going after another stray. Those beasts aren't that common, at least not in a small town like this. No, we're going after a dirty little devil worshiper. Now, that's more exciting to exorcise!"

-|-]=[-|-

There was one thought running through my head as I stared down the woman in front of me.

This was wrong.

The woman looked to be about the age of my own mother. She wasn't exactly youthful, but her aging features weren't too extreme. The woman had on a simple black dress. It went from two straps on her shoulders down to just above her ankles. The fear in her eyes was overwhelming. She was thin, sickly even. Freed stood behind my shoulder smiling. She looked like just some older housewife.

Was this what that Khorne wanted? For me to kill some middle-aged lady? Was that why he was watching me today? Really?

I didn't believe it. The presence in my head didn't have anything to say about it either. It was simply there, waiting and watching. The god never spoke. It almost felt judging in a way, like the god was wanting to see how I reacted. There was something else there though. He...it didn't feel quite ready yet. There was a dull sense of anticipation. I felt odd, something was wrong.

I looked around the room.

We were in one of the small townhouses in the residential district of Kuoh. It wasn't anything grand, barely above the size of a studio apartment back home. I could see a small living room in front of me with a kitchen attached to it. The couch sitting in the exact center of the room was old and worn, much like most of the other furniture around. I frowned, spotting what looked like a small shrine in the corner of the room. It had incense sticks, old and burnt, sticking up to the ceiling. I could see a picture of a black-haired man in a suit at the shrine's top.

A widow? I thought. It made me sick to my stomach. The woman in front of me was cowering. There was a bullet hole in the floor next to her. I flinched as a hand came over my shoulder. Cold metal briefly brushed my cheek as Freed leaned up against me, cackling. I was keenly aware of the smoking gun in his hands.

"Come on Jack, do something to her already! You're not just gonna stand there all night are ya?" Freed questioned. His tone was almost jovial as he spoke. I could see his teeth poking through his gums, twisting his features into a kind of grimacing smile. In a friendly voice all too removed from what he was doing, Freed asked, "Well?"

Quietly, I looked down at the woman in front of me. Images of my own mother and grandmother flashed in my mind. She, the woman in front of me, looked weak. A small wind could blow her over. The widow looked like she was skin and bones. The very fact I had to think of this at all felt unnatural, alien to me. It wasn't a hard choice, not at all. I couldn't do this. I wouldn't. It didn't matter if she was "consorting" with devils like Freed said. I wasn't going to lay my hands on some old woman, let alone kill her. It disgusted me. Was this what Freed and Raynare did? The Grigori? The whole faction couldn't be like that, right? I hoped not. If they were all like this another Great War like the one Kokabiel wouldn't shut up about was inevitable. They'd just be monsters dressed as men.

This woman, she wasn't worth it. I could feel a dull throb come from the mark on my hand. She wasn't evil. She wasn't some monster. She was just some old widow, wasting away in an impoverished townhouse. It throbbed again, stronger this time. I could still feel eyes on the back of my neck. The thing was still there. There wasn't any fight to be had with her. She wasn't a threat to me. Numbly, I poked at it. A musing sense of agreement washed over me.

Fun...I thought. At least the god in my head wouldn't be urging me to kill defenseless old women any time soon. I took in a deep breath. Slowly, I exhaled. I hoped that it would stay that way. I still had to handle what was happening in front of me. I had to be quick about it too, Freed wasn't one to wait.

I opened my mouth to speak.

What came next was like a storm. For a single moment, I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Following after, I heard metal scraping on metal. The hand on my shoulder pushed me to the side. Before I knew it, my axe was in my hands. I gripped it tightly.

"Looky here, if it isn't a devil!"

Freed's voice came with a sense of dread. The widow scrambled across the floor, her limbs flailing on the wood. Freed stood a few feet away from me, gun and lightsword in hand. I turned my eyes to the new arrival in the house.

He was young. His boyish features made his face soft. He had short blonde hair. It fell over his face in a series of barely contained locks. Looking at him, I could see a set of blue eyes looking back at me. They held thinly veiled fury. The teenager was dressed in a school uniform. He looked almost like some kind of pop star. The sword in his hand and the bat-like wings sprouting from his back made that impossible.

I knew who he was. Kiba Yuuto. He was one of Rias Gremory's peerage. A knight to be exact. He had a sacred gear, Kiba could make magical swords with it. In the true scale of things, the teen wasn't too strong, but I didn't know how I'd match up. I didn't want to really fight him either. It would get me involved with the devils. Well, more than I already was. I'd already met Issei after all. I just thought it would be better to interact with them as little as possible.

I wanted to groan. Dammit. Kiba being here just made everything about Freed and I's little adventure a lot more complicated. Alone, I might've had a chance to talk Freed down, or at least convince him not to kill the widow. But now?

I could see raw hatred pouring from Freed's red eyes. They gleamed like rubies in the dull light of the room's ceiling fan. The stray exorcist was grinding his teeth, a mixture of excitement and anger pouring over his entire body. He took a step forward, keeping a white-knuckled grip on his weapons.

"So come on then you little shit! Freed Sellzen's the name, killing shitty devils my game." Freed paused giving a theatrical bow toward the devil across from him. I could feel the tension begin to rise as he stood back up. "And now, I think I'll stick this here sword into your heart, but first...you are here for your contractor right?"

Freed was quick. Scarily so. His arm shot up. I didn't even have time to react before a gunshot echoed out into the house. It was followed soon after by a loud thump to my right. I turned my head. The widow laid on the floor dead. In the middle of her forehead, a geyser had opened. Red blood poured along with a few small chunks of gray matter. The pieces of meat seemed to dribble onto the floor. It quickly leaked into my shoes. Her eyes suddenly seemed cold, the dark brown turning empty as she died. A small part of me was aware that I should've felt something at the sight, but I'd seen much worse in the past few days.

"Goddammit, Freed!" I growled, jumping backward. For a second, I bared my teeth at the man. The warm wetness on one of my feet felt absolutely disgusting. He seemed to pay it no mind.

"What?" asked the exorcist. Plain confusion was on his face. I didn't know what to say back to him as Freed continued, "This is our job! It's just punishment of the wicked Jack."

"T-That's..." I stuttered. That was no excuse. I hadn't ever had the pleasure of seeing it firsthand, but I should've known. I stared at the perverse smile on the stray exorcist's face. The man's tongue lulled out of his mouth as he laughed. Freed Sellzen was well and truly a monster. I had put it out of my mind because of the almost cartoony way the man presented himself, but I couldn't ignore it any longer. A part of me wanted to deny it, but I knew it to be true.

"I mean come on, we're just doing God's work buddy! Shitty devils and their contractors gotta die one way or another. It's just a part of the holy scripture."

I tuned him out. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. I stood still, as the devil and the exorcist yelled at each other. I could see the pain in Kiba's eyes. No, it wasn't just pain. It was grief, a dull depression that was slowly being turned to wrath. They both stepped toward each other.

What do I do? I thought.

This was going to fuck up everything I had planned. I couldn't just get out of this one. I couldn't keep ignoring my problems forever. I kept telling myself I needed to wait, that an opportunity for me to leave would present itself. I was lying to myself. The fact was, I didn't want to do anything. I was just existing. It was simply procrastination. It could've even been considered sloth to some. Sure I got a little bit of experience out of it, but I was still kicking it with a bunch of wack-jobs that had a murder boner for anything that didn't kiss their feet.

I already knew what I was going to do. I was done with this, all of it. I was going to go get Asia and then get the hell out of here. Fuck both the fallen angels and the devils. I looked to Freed. He was still goading the boy across from him. With a flash of movement, their swords met. I squinted as sparks flew.

"Freed. Stop it." The words were quiet. It's almost like they didn't want to leave my mouth. If this continued, one of them would kill the other. If what I remembered from the show was true, that would most likely be Freed. I didn't like the man, not one bit, but I owed him. He'd trained me. If you squinted, you could even say he'd saved my life. Despite his deplorable actions, I'd at least make the attempt.

Freed jumped back, snarling, "And what Jack? We just gonna go on back? Raynare wants these dirty devils and their worshippers dead. It's not gonna happen!"

His face was a painting of rage and fury. I could see it twitching, little muscles seeming to spasm without any thought of his own. His teeth were bared, his lips up above his gums. His red eyes met my blue. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. I breathed in, straightening my shoulders.

"I'm done!" I yelled. It burst forth like a hand grenade, exploding across the room. I could see Kiba look at me tilting his head to one side, sword still in hand. Freed seemed to falter, turning his whole body to face me. I continued, "I can't do this crap anymore. We're. You...you're just killing people. There isn't a point to it. If this is what Raynare and Dohnaseek are all about, I'm done. They can't even fight back. That and you..."

My hands were shaking. I grit my teeth. Was this all Freed was, just some kind of monster wearing a man's flesh? I hated it. I hated him. I hated that I knew anything about him at all. I slammed the pommel of my axe into the ground. Wood cracked as it hit. I fumed, "The way you act, I can't stand it. One second you're acting like you're some kind of amateur poet lamenting about the world around you, the next your threatening to put someone's head on a pike! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?"

It pissed me off. I just couldn't figure him out. It didn't matter how hard I tried. I'd never met someone like this before. I knew what it was. Insanity. He wasn't right in the head. He never was. I just either couldn't or didn't want to admit it. I had tried to latch onto Freed like I had Asia. I didn't think of him as a friend, but when you had literally no one else to talk to, you had to make due. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep pushing off his issues- No, it wasn't just issues. The man in front of me was evil. Purposefully so. The fucker enjoyed it too. He was like some T.V. villain brought to life...He was one, wasn't he? An actual villain brought to life.

"If you think I'm just gonna go along with this shit, then you can shove it! Let's just get out of here. There's...There's gotta be something better than this. There's no reason to do this man. Did she really need to die?"

It came out like a river. My voice was hoarse by the end. It carried with it something that had been building in me for days on end. I didn't like any of the fallen or stray exorcists I had met. Every single one had been a deplorable person in one way or another. Dohnaseek was a murderous battle-hungry bastard. The scarred exorcist hated Asia for no reason. Freed was Freed. Raynare was the murderous deviant who led them all. The only person I had met who even seemed like a real human was Asia.

I don't know whether it was from my own way of handling things since I came here or something else entirely, but I couldn't voice it until now. It had been there though. Slowly, festering away in my head. It was like a plague slowly infecting my thoughts. The few times I had mouthed off were just a symptom, but it was nothing like this. This was the root of it all, the cause. In a way, it felt good to finally get it off my chest.

Despite everything, I still tried to give Freed an out. I tried to give him one final chance. One final chance to change, to prove what I knew of him wrong. For a moment, Freed stood there. The rage and fury on his face drained away leaving something dull. A few emotions flashed in the man's eyes. They were like little embers from a sparking fire. A pregnant silence ensued. Neither Freed, Kiba, nor I made a sound.

Freed slowly walked towards me. His steps were light, almost cautious in a way. Something in the back of my head was telling me to move. I'd seen this before. His footwork was something I knew well. One foot was pointed toward me, the other to the side. I bit my tongue, trying to ignore it. I'd give him a chance. If he would take it, that was entirely up to him.

Freed's nasally voice came out slow, drawling, "You know?"

I didn't immediately answer. I watched his hands, looking for even the slightest twitch of movement. I said I'd give him a chance, but I wasn't stupid. I knew Freed. I knew him more than I would have ever liked to. The look on Freed's face almost seemed hurt as he continued.

"I was wrong about you." He started, his head turned down. I could almost see the thoughts rolling around in his head. When his head came back up, the fire from before had turned into an inferno. This time, it was pointed at me.

"You're just like the rest of them. Fucking boring."

Kiba cried, "Move!"

I barely had a chance to react. My body shifted to the side as another gunshot rang out. If I hadn't been watching him, Freed might've killed me then and there. I felt sharp pain come from my ear. Lightly, I raised a hand to it. The fingers I pulled back were painted with blood. It dribbled down my neck, staining my clothes dark.

Resigned, I sighed. Freed cackled as he cocked back the hammer on his gun again. The stray exorcist ran at me, ignoring the devil behind him. I muttered, "Fine."

Like I had done so many times before, I pulled on that well of power dwelling in my body. Something about it was off. In the excitement, I had forgotten about who, or rather what had been watching my interaction with Freed and the Widow. The presence was rapt now. It felt tantalizingly close, almost like a blanket of smoke wrapping around my mind. When I drew on the blood god's power, it burst forth like a broken dam. It felt like when I pulled, something had pushed from the other side.

The laughter of a dark god rang in my ears.

Immediately, the mark on my palm was wet with blood. I glanced down as my vision seemed to blur. Images of battles long forgotten flashed through my mind. The visions seemed to blur together into a never-ending sea of red. I could feel rage and fury unlike any before ripping its way through my entire body. I tried to move, to say something, to even think, but nothing came to me. Without any input of my own, my body moved.

I blacked out.

AN: Sup!

How's it been going folks? I've been doing a lot of things recently and finally had the chance to sit down and write today. After writing the chapter, I ended up having to split things a little bit. Originally, I wanted to include a fight scene in this chapter as well. Unfortunately, the fight scene ended up being a lot longer than expected, so I made the decision to split it up.

As of right now, I'm not sure if I'll be able to get the next chapter up during the week, but if not it will be up next weekend. I'm almost done with it, I just need to rewrite a few things and give it a round of editing. We'll see how quickly that goes then. Like always though, please tell me what you think. If there are any errors please point those out as well.

And for a recommendation this week, I think I'll put up the story Do Me A Wrong by ChaosEmperorNex. It's a pretty interesting Bleach/Dxd crossover. It started updating again recently as well. Anywho, that'll be all for today folks. Until next time...

~ciao