A/N: Am I back? Maybe... How fast am I going to be pushing out new chapters? No clue... Will I eventually disappear into the mist again? There's a distinct possibility of it yes...
CHAPTER 22 – THE BATTLE FOR TROST: CONVICTION
Connie Springer wandered down the streets of Trost as the afternoon sun started to wane in the sky. It was the first time he'd been able to walk freely in the district since the battle. After the day had been won, it had taken the Survey Corps and remaining Garrison troops two days to clear Trost of titans and had taken them included another two days to recover all the dead. The teen winced at the thought; the sheer amount of his comrades they'd found among the rubble evoked a feeling of dread in him that almost surpassed the battle itself!
The bald-headed cadet sighed as he rounded a corner, hands in his pockets, staring at the cobblestone path before him. They would start burning the bodies after the sun set, the doctors said that it would stop the spread of disease but to Connie it just felt…wrong. He knew in his head it was the right call, they didn't need more people dying of plague, Connie wasn't that much of a dope, but burning had a kind of finality to it. At least when you buried people, you'd have someplace to visit, to mourn, but after you cremated someone, there was nothing. Nothing to mourn, nothing to show what happened to them, nothing to even tell that they existed! All those people, all his comrades, all his friends would be forgotten! Marco would be forgotten!
Marco.
If ever the threat of the titans had been anymore clearer, it would've been when he, Sasha, Lukas and Jean watched their friend die, not being able to do a damn thing about it. Each one of them seemed to take it or were still taking it in a different way. Jean seemed to be overly reserved, not really wanting to talk to anyone, even Lukas, but still seeming just a touch annoyed. Not that Lukas seemed like he'd wanted to talk, his black-haired friend seemed outwardly ok, but even Connie could tell he was in a funk and if the bald-headed teen could tell then Sasha had been keen to it for hours already. Sasha oddly enough seemed to handle the whole situation better than any of them, minus the initial mourning, she'd taken it on the chin and instead had been trying to comfort the three of them. This hadn't been the most successful have you, but it was something.
Connie on the other hand, Connie was…restless. Experiencing the terror of the titans firsthand was horrifying and losing Marco and the rest of his comrades left the teen with an engulfing emptiness he couldn't describe. He had every right to move past this horrific episode of his life and join the Military Police in the interior. He had earned that privilege! Connie Springer of Ragako Village made the top 10 of his class and could join the MP's. His parents would be so proud, Martin and Sunny would be ecstatic and the village would respect him! He would practically be a celebrity but despite all that, the teen felt…
"Young man!" a voice called out, "Young man!"
Connie shot up from his trance. He had walked down one of Trost's many side streets which had seemingly led towards a small grassy knoll bordering the district's canal. The teen hadn't even been aware that such spots existed in the big city though by the looks of it, the area seemed very nearly empty. The cadet looked for the source of the voice, finding it quickly in the form of an older woman standing in a fenced off portion of the knoll just ahead of him. As he walked forward though, he quickly realized why it was fenced off, seeing a couple dozen or so stone slabs sticking out of the ground…a cemetery.
As the teen passed through the threshold of the site, the older woman, who struck Connie as familiar gave the bald-headed cadet a warm smile.
"Thank you for stopping, young man…" the woman spoke, "…would you be able to spare a moment to help us?"
Connie perked up at the word 'us' and noticed the crouched form of another woman who had her back towards the teen. Upon further inspection the second woman, with a slim frame and a black mop of hair tied into a ponytail, was trying to get her arms around a rather large tree limb that covered a few of the gravestones. No doubt damages done from the rampaging of some titan.
"Damn it, Marie…" the crouched figure barked out, "I told you I had this. No need to drag some poor sod in to help."
"Nonsense Rhia!" Marie shot back, "You've been working yourself to death ever since they opened back up the city…"
Connie raised an eyebrow, another familiarity hitting the teen, "Ms. Schmidt?" he questioned.
The crouched woman perked up, her head turning back, "Ah…Connie Springer, hello!" she greeted. The woman then stood up quickly to further greet the boy but quickly winced in pain, grabbing behind her,
"MY BACK!"
"I told you so…" Marie rebounded, a small smirk on her face, but as she looked back at the boy, she seemed just a tad confused.
Rhia Schmidt picked up on this turning to the other woman, "He's a friend of our boys' Marie."
Both Connie and the older woman seemed to have the realization at the same time, "You're Jean's mom."
"Yes dear, I apologize for not recognizing you before, "the woman responded, holding her hand out softly, "Marie Kirschtein, I'm overjoyed to see one of Jean and Lukas's friends made it through ok!"
Connie returned the greeting, as Rhia commented, "Don't worry yourself about not remembering Marie, my body might be failing me, but my mind is still sharp as ever!"
Marie Kirschtein ignored the jest, speaking to the teen once more, "Would you mind dear?" she asked, motioning towards the felled branch.
"Of course!" Connie shot out, slightly embarrassed he hadn't moved to help out the older women yet.
The teen hurriedly grabbed one end of the large branch while Rhia Schmidt slowly bent back over to grab the opposite end. The branch certainly had some weight to it but Connie, despite how short he was, seemed to lift his end with ease and the two quickly moved the brush to a corner of the enclosure. As he turned back around, he could already see the two women gravitating towards one of the stones, the black-haired woman brushing off some little bits of debris before quickly laying a peck on the stone.
It took the Ragako native a few moments to grasp an understanding of the situation, Jean's story that night seeming a lifetime away now, but as soon as he caught a glimpse of the writing etched on the slab, it confirmed his assumptions.
DANIEL SCHMIDT
SECTION COMMANDER
SURVEY CORPS
810-845
"You seem distant Connie Springer." Rhia's voice knocked Connie back to reality, "What's on your mind?"
The teen shuddered at the inquiry. He was often the butt of the joke for not having anything in his mind, but today, this moment, Connie felt everything on his mind. "Uhhh…" he was barely able to utter out.
"Rhia…" the elder Kirschtein butted in firmly, "…that's rather insensitive…given what's happened."
As the woman motioned around them at the destroyed city, her counterpart shrugged lightly, "That's his call, I respect if he'd rather not talk but what kind of person would I be if I didn't offer to lend him an ear."
Rhia Schmidt sighed as she softly leaned on the headstone that they had spent all this time to clear. Connie composed himself, there was a lot on his mind and while talkative, the teen wasn't keen on spilling his guts out. However there seemed to be nothing but genuine heartfelt concern coming from the two older women, the mothers of two of his very good friends and despite having felt wound up for the longest time, he found himself muttering a quick response, "No…it's it's alright…"
The shorter teen shuffled a bit before continuing, the two matrons giving him the space to speak, "When I had joined the military, I had wanted so badly to become an MP. My parents, my brother and sister…they would be so proud. Connie Springer would be the talk of the village, the first ever person from Ragako to make it into the military police but now…after…this..."
Connie motioned to the still visible wreckage of Trost strewn all around them, "…I…I'm…"
"You're having doubts" Rhia finished the teens sentence.
"Yes..." Connie sighed almost defeatedly, "The titans…they're terrifying, seeing them destroy Trost, seeing people, comrades, my friends die; why would I ever want to relive that?"
Connie stuttered for minute, his head hanging down, as the vivid memory of his friend bleeding out on that street flooded his mind, "Marco…" he barely muttered out before he felt the soft caress of a hand on his back.
The teen looked up to see Marie Kirschtein beside him, speechless, but exerting an aura of understanding. Connie composed himself continuing, "Joining the military police feels like I'm giving up, like I'm forgetting what happened here. I don't want that! I want to remember what happened here, it deserves to be remembered…" Connie sighed once more, "…the people who died deserve to be to be remembered."
"And you think your family wouldn't understand if you had the opportunity to join the military police but didn't take it?" the elder Kirschtein responded.
"How could they?" Connie questioned bluntly, "How could they understand something that I don't even fully understand…?"
The teens question left a long silence between the three. Connie almost feared that his tirade had frightened the older women, after all the teen didn't know them extensively, only having meet Lukas's mother a spare two times and today being the first time, he had ever met Jean's mother. His worry subsided though when he heard the elder Schmidt take in a long sigh before speaking.
"Connie…I figure you're privy to the name etched on this stone slab which I am currently gracing with my ass?" the woman questioned getting a disapproving glare from Marie Kirschtein.
"By the walls Rhia…have some decency!" the elder Kirschtein snided as Connie nodded apprehensively.
"Relax Marie" Rhia Schmidt snorted, patting the stones surface softly, "Danny ain't going to mind. Hell, he probably likes it."
"Anyhow Connie" Rhia continued, refocusing on the teen "As you can imagine, I was never overly keen on my son joining the military, especially after losing my husband…"
Connie winced as he saw the older woman give a downward glance, a slight look of remorse on her face as she continued, "…Of course I knew Lukas was going to do it eventually, all he ever wanted to be was a scout like his dad but it was an understatement to say I was terrified…and I think he caught onto that." Rhia looked back up at Marie now and gave an annoyed chuckle, "Little shit snuck out one day to go enlist with Jean. I was furious when Lukas got back…I gave him an earful, might have thrown a stale loaf of bread at him…"
"Because he enlisted?" Connie questioned.
"Because he felt like he couldn't tell me." Rhia replied, "Sure I was scared, any parent would be…but I understood why he did it and I was so proud of him, even if it took me an argument with my son to realize that."
Connie looked at the woman confusedly as he soaked in her words but before he could muster a reply, the elder Schmidt seemed to have picked up on his confusion and continued, "My point is that whatever path you take I feel like your family will understand."
Connie gave a questioning eyebrow, "How can you be so certain?"
"The fact that you care so much about making them proud." The Schmidt matriarch replied warmly, "That tells a lot about your relationship with them."
"And give your family some credit…" Marie added, "Why wouldn't they be proud? You fought in humanity's first victory over the titans, the scouts even managed to capture two of the buggers! What parents wouldn't be proud of that?"
Connie Springer nodded almost instinctually as the two mothers seem to let their argument set in; the women's words made sense and Connie seemed to know deep down that they were right. There was still a flurry of emotions the bald-headed teen was yet to deal with and while he still felt restless, for the first time in the last few days he didn't feel quite so conflicted.
…
As dusk set in over the city of Trost, Sasha Braus found herself weaving through the halls and porches of the garrison's command post, or more specifically what was left of it, scanning her comrades faces for a particular set of faded green eyes and a head full of messy black hair. As much as it was a hit to her pride though, her usually very sharp tracking skills were coming up with diddly squat at the moment. The brunette stopped on the steps leading down on to the public road and sighed, "I've had an easier time finding stags than this…"
The last few days had been ones similar to this. Lukas, Jean and Connie would seem to scatter to the wind, sulking in whatever location they saw fit. Sasha didn't blame them of course, she herself was devastated by Marco's death, along with the dozen other issues plaguing her mind. The Dauper native seemed to find some sort of solace in trying comfort her friends though, however little it helped.
Pa's words must be rubbing off on me…
Sasha wondered how her parents were doing. The week's events hadn't really spared her a moment to think about them. It had been three years since she had been back to Dauper; how were her Pa and Ma fairing, what would they think of her when she came to visit, what would they think of Luk…
The brunette quickly cut off the thought.
Focus...
That was a problem for another day…a better day. The huntress refocused her efforts on finding Lukas but after making a through scan of the surrounding street her hunt remained fruitless. However, right before she made her way back into the regimental headquarters, her eyes caught movement in her periphery. The brunette turned to see a couple military issued boots dangling off one of the lower roofs of the headquarters. Sasha knew that Lukas's boots didn't differ from anyone else's, but instinct told her that there was a solid chance that was her boyfriend.
How in heavens did he get up there!
That was Sasha's first thought as she looked at the rooftop from below. It wasn't the tallest building, but still it had to be at least as tall as some of the smaller titans. Did Lukas steal his ODM rig? No, she didn't think her boyfriend was that dumb. The brunette stood there perplexed until she saw it in the fading light of the sun, a couple crates and the sturdy frame of a nearby market stand. She shrugged sighing, there wasn't anyone around and the action couldn't be that different from climbing the trees around Dauper in her youth. At least that what she thought…
THUMP!
"OWWWW!" Lukas winced in pain, Sasha having accidentally kicked him in the side after not entirely sticking her landing on the roof.
"I'M SORRY LULU!" The brunette nearly yelped as she recovered, kneeling down to assess the teen's injuries.
"I'm fine Sash…I'm fine…" he breathed out a reply before giving the brunette a cocked eyebrow, "What are you doing up here?"
The situation having calmed, Sasha sat herself next to Lukas, "I should be asking you the same question…it's pretty rude to have your girlfriend literally climb to come see you." She snorted a little bit, "Besides, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?"
Lukas managed a soft chuckle, holding his side "Well, I'm sorry Sash…though I think I've paid enough for my rudeness?"
"I'll let it slide…" Sasha shed her jovial tone, "…but really, what are you doing up here?"
Lukas laid back on the roof shingles, looking at the clear starry night that had begun to form above, "Night was like this when Marco convince me to ask you out…" the teens voice cracked a bit, "…why…why did I let him go off by himself?"
Sasha lightly tugged at his hand, "No…" she rebutted softly, "…that wasn't your fault, Marco's death wasn't your fault, it wasn't any of ours…"
"But maybe…maybe if I had better control of whatever's in my head then…"
"Lukas you don't know that…" Sasha stated, the silence between the couple sitting for a long moment.
"I know…I know…" the teen relented, breaking the quiet. "I just…I miss him."
"We all do darlin'…" Sasha nestled closer to her boyfriend.
"How are they?" Lukas asked after another moment, "Jean and Connie?"
"Connie…seemed like that walk through Trost did him some good today. Jean…" Sasha paused for a moment, a slight smirk forming on her face, "well for some reason, Mikasa offered to talk to Jean."
Even in the limited light, the brunette could still see Lukas's eyebrow raise, "Really?" he said almost incredulously. Lukas gave a mutual knowing smirk before turning serious once more, "and you…how are you doing?"
Sasha sat there for a moment contemplating, before replying softly "Seeing Marco…seeing our comrades…die…like that…I never want to see that again…"
"Sasha…" Lukas spoke, guilt gripping his voice as he gripped her hand tighter, "You don't have too, I'll join the MP's with you guys…you'll never have too…"
"No…" the brunette cut him off, her pent-up emotion flowing forward "…Lukas I'm scared out of my mind, but how do you go back to normal after this…?"
Sasha trembled a little as she looked back up at Lukas's shadowed face. Even in the low light she saw his strained face look at her, his eyes struggling with an answer he already knew. "You don't…" he almost whispered defeatedly. "No one should ever have to see that…"
Sasha nodded weakly in agreeance, "Then you know why I can't leave…". The brunette sniffled, partially composing herself before wrapping her arms around Lukas and continuing, "So…so you're stuck with me."
…
Everyone's regretting it…
Jean Kirschtein stood in the courtyard of Trost's regimental HQ, the fires of a half a dozen pyres shooting smoke and flame into the night sky and a number of his comrades scattered around mourning in every which way.
If I'd known it'd be this hellish…I'd have never chosen to be a soldier.
The gray-haired teen saw Lukas standing a few steps away, staring solemnly into the pyre. After what they had seen, had they been naïve to think it would be any other way? They'd both wanted this, and that was the cost of their pipe dream. At that thought, Jean strode closer to the pyre.
"Hey Marco…" Jean spoke softly, leaning over and scooping a piece of ash into his hand, "…I can't even tell which bones are yours anymore…maybe if I hadn't become a soldier, I wouldn't have to think about who'll be on this pyre next…"
The teen thought of Eren's tirade during the night of graduation, he thought of the countless times Lukas felt like he needed to join the scouts.
I know we have to fight but not everyone is as eager to die and not everyone has the conviction…
"I hope you won't get mad when I say this…" Jean heard Marco's voice in his head, "…but you aren't a strong person…so you can relate to how the weak feel…"
"In addition, you excel in sizing up any situation…"
"You know almost immediately what has to be done…"
Jean tensed up at that, rising to his feet, his hand balled up into a fist, "What should be done…"
In that moment, Jean seemed to catch his gaze with Lukas's, almost as if his friend had heard him. Lukas almost looked confused as the two stared at each other silently. Jean closed his eyes, visibly gritting his teeth for a moment before composing himself and giving his friend a single nod. Lukas seemed confused for a few more odd moments before something seemed to click, the black-haired teen widening his eyes ever so slightly and his mouth falling subtly agape. A moment later though Jean saw his friend give a hesitant nod back.
"Hey, guys…" Jean turned towards some of the other gathered member of the 104th, "…have you decided which branch you're joining?"
"I have…" Jean gritted his teeth, "I'm…I'm…I'm joining the Survey Corps!"
…
Annie Leonhardt was in a morbid mood as she returned to her barracks room after the pyres had smoked out. She wouldn't admit it, but a semblance of guilt still racked her mind, not that it mattered now anyway. Having received no orders to the contrary, she would join the military police and scout out the inner districts for the founder. The faster they could complete their mission, the faster they could go home. Annie didn't care about this island, its people, this mission, or whoever command thought was qualified enough to be leading their mission, this…
The letter lay neatly on her bunk as Annie entered the room. She stared at it dumbfounded, Annie had a feeling she knew who the letter's author was but how could someone get into a windowless room if the door was locked. The blonde didn't have time to speculate this however as she quickly scooped up the letter off of her bunk, her roommates would return soon, and she wasn't apt to explain why she had a letter written in a language these people couldn't understand. Nevertheless, she opened the letter, her intuition proving correct.
F,
The Survey Corps have captured two titans and are keeping them held within the district. Kill them before any information can be derived from them. Upon completion, continue as planned to the military police where you will await further instruction.
X