((Oh, O.O., you so crazy, but you certainly get the job done.))
Chapter 3: The Shifty Eyed Ladle, Lelouch Vi Britannia
OR
The One Where I Break Canon
Dammit! Nowhere!
Exasperated, a sweaty and fatigued Richilieu leaned against the brick exterior of one of Ashford's numerous buildings, right hand on knee and left hand placed none too firmly against the wall as a brace. A quick glance around also revealed that, much to his vexation, O.O. seemed to have wandered off on her own. Fantastic. Now, in addition to the Zero Cat, he had a power-granting, insanely childish woman to find.
"Bloody perfect. Knowing her, she'll just as likely hand the helmet or the cape or whatever the Hell made Lelouch so panicky straight over to the press just to watch the 'fun'."
A sneaker clad foot struck the ground in an fit of frustration.
And if that happens, who knows what the Hell he'll do. Order an assassination on the finder? Geass the press into brainwashing the public? O.O., we're dealing with forces above us, here! Do you know what kind of balls a guy willing to fight a damned empire must have?
Sighing, he turned around, leaning his back into the wall and sliding down, only stopping as he began to sit on the ground.
I have limited options, here. I could possess Lelouch, perhaps, before the cat's caught, and keep him unaware of anything when it is. Then, when we have it, we can put it back in his room, leaving Milly and the press none the wiser. I just need to-
"Attention Ashford Academy!"
... No...
"This is Ophelie Odette, your counter Student Council President!"
How did she...?
"And, as such, I have a counter proposal!"A constrained giggle might have been heard, but no one listening was really certain. "Bring the cat to Richilieu Marquis LeDieu, along with what it's carrying, and he'll give you a very special prize! You even get to choose if he's wearing pants or not!"
"What the fuck?!" He cried, standing up with a vigor and life unbecoming of his earlier fatigue. "Where the fuck does she get off offering me up as some kind of sexual reward?!"
"And if you're one of the unlucky saps with a Y chromosone, no worries! He's got a wide array of talents; pick any girl from the lot, not just the student council, and she's yours for the evening! No sir, you're not limited to some silly kiss here! So make sure to bring your prize to Richilieu!"
After that, what sounded to be a staff member began screaming from the background, followed by more giggling on O.O.'s part. A clatter, confusing the school's PA system into giving off a cacophony of sound, pierced the ears of all listening. Nonetheless, her announcement had been given, and the message was made very clear.
"Fuck you, O.O.!" A skillfully constrained curse, as it wasn't screamed to the world at large, prodded Richilieu into an additional search, the boy dashing off in a randomly, unexplored direction. "How did she even get a hold or that PA thing? Did she sneak into the front office or something? Dammit, and then offering me up, insisting that I'd possess a girl just to take away some asshole's virginity? How dare she even think I'd consider that!"
Students were out in a surprising force, each and every one of them searching for this suddenly golden feline, only a few sparing glances away from their searches to give Richilieu a perplexing and judgmental gape. Naturally, a few were confused as to his sudden insinuation that he could possess the bodies of others, but it was more than likely locked away into a corner of their mind, only piling on to the reasons why they didn't speak with him daily.
It was perhaps from among these amorphous groups that O.O. stealthily emerged, shocking the living sex toy into a sudden stop, and dooming him to an awkward crash to the ground.
"Like the announcement?" It was asked innocuously enough, though Richilieu could tell from her body language that she'd intentionally done this to both vex him and assist her goals, her motives far from purity or ignorance.
"And what makes you think I'll have sex with anyone?" He barked back at her, quick to rise to his feet and brush imprinted pebbles from his palms. People had temporarily halted their search in order to watch the conflict, a slight murmur now traveling throughout the group as the supposed couple quarreled. Generally, the consensus was one of, "He managed a girlfriend?", "She's willing to offer him up as a prize?", "That lucky, horny dog.", or, "What a man whore." Of course, what this consensus was depended largely on whom you asked.
"I never said sex. Looks like someone has a dirty miiind~ I thought you weren't interested in kissing?" The wagging finger, the condescending shrug as she insinuated he was dirty sex hound... Strangely, these weren't the issues he was concerned with.
"O.O., do not play word games with me! Do you know what the Hell you just did?"
The murmur grew louder, and Richilieu spared a scathing glare at the steadily approaching crowd. Naturally, this halted the shier ones, but left those more bold only more determined to listen. A scowl.
"We're leaving. And not," He screamed this last word, so that all of the peanut gallery could hear. "Being followed! Am I right?"
A silence.
"You suck!"
"Right. Let's go." The lone voice did little to convince the crowd to ignore Richilieu's pleas, the lot of them instead returning to their search, some no doubt working even harder after the promise of a new, less restricted reward. O.O. laughed the entireity of the time throughout the conversation, doubling over as she revelled in the bit of chaos she'd caused. "Oh, what fun!"
---
"Here. The top of the bell tower." With a huff, LeDieu leaned his head out of one of the four windows, the rough concrete abrasive against the sleeves of his black school jacket, the entire area dim due to the somewhat blocked sunlight. O.O., smirking, followed behind him, arms folded across chest in what appeared the be a pose of smug victory, leaning against a red brick wall as soon as she had a solid footing on the top floor.
"Hanging your head in defeat? You're not as clever as I thought you were. Now people are going to want to bring the cat to us. We don't even have to work for it."
"No, no, that's not the point! Do you realize what Lelouch is capable of?" He turned around, genuinely afraid. This situation was far too serious and, indeed, far too real for him to take as a game. They were dealing with a man who had the means to fight an empire, and she wanted to poke the bear with a stick by stealing its helmet?
"We look for the helmet to discreetly return to Lelouch's room. If we're lucky, he won't feel the need to act drastically. We can approach him, if you really, really want to, but I need an actual plan and not a convoluted, spontaneous one!" He spun around to face her, eyes denying the fear he felt, but instead projecting a visage of pragmatism. O.O., however, wasn't convinced.
"And what of what you said earlier about plans being too rigid?"
"I... I, well... There's a time for that, you know. I need to study him more, so that I can gain a good grasp of what he'll act on-"
"Quit lying. You're afraid, aren't you?"
He blinked at her, merely turning back around and hanging his head over the edge of the window hair covering glasses rimmed eyes. The girl sighed. Clearly she'd have to be slightly maternal here in order to convince this boy to act.
"It's alright, you're new at this game called politics. I've had centuries of experience, and you've had what? An entire life of sixteen years, half of which was spent being toilet trained? You have potential to play at this level, but-"
"O.O., don't feed me this crap. Lelouch is dangerous. He attacked a military convoy, which proves that, not only is he brilliant enough to get away with it, but secured enough in order to feel comfortable doing so. His assets far exceed mine, and his intelligence in matters such as this exceeds mine as well, despite my desperate wish that it weren't so."
Another sigh and she stepped off the wall, walking up to the sill and taking a place next to him.
"OK, fine, I tried to be nice. Remember our contract. If you don't go through with this, I won't be entertained, thus voiding it and killing you for defying an immortal."
There. He hadn't been looking at her, so his masterful observation skills would be moot. Her inflection and tone were both perfect. Richilieu would absolutely have to believe this.
"Threats? You're hardly tact, are you?" He looked up at her with a half glare, smirking.
A smirk back. "More than you know."
An exasperated sigh as he stood. "Fine. I'll approach him. But we absolutely will not follow your plan. We will-"
"Mreow."
Both parties blinked in confusion as a helmeted feline jumped between them, bouncing off the sill and onto the roof below.
"... Arthur?"
"Out of the way, please!"
"... An Eleven?"
One Suzaku Kururugi burst forth, forcefully separating the two and causing both to tumble downward as he leapt out the window, intending to follow the cat. Brown hair covering eyes and ears was now blown back as wind slid past it, eyes forward and focused on his goal.
"Wait, Suzaku!"
"Lelouch?"
A winded Britannian shortly followed, moving forward with what could only be sheer will power and climbing out of the window, paying little notice to either Richilieu or O.O.
"... Change of plans, O.O. Go downstairs and wait for a falling mask..." He whispered, ensuring that Lelouch, having only just made his way outside, didn't hear. She chuckled, but otherwise made no comment, simply leaping over the banister meant to protect climbers from falling in a feat of ironic audacity, Richilieu himself peering out the window and calling the hidden Britannian noble's name.
"Hey Lelouch, or should I say Zero?"
He froze. Lelouch made no movements, save for slowly turning his head around after a few moments, a hand dramatically covering his eye.
"Shoulda covered both."
And with that, LeDieu slumped to the ground, robbing Lelouch of his free will if even for a moment, instead intentionally letting go of his footing and peering up at Arthur, cathing but a glimpse of the feline's eyes and jumping to him. Suzaku did as predicted, sliding down to prevent a yelling Lelouch, and the 'cat' gently nudged his head adornment off on the bell, the much sought after item bounce, bounce, bouncing to the ground. A canceled geass and a few minutes of climbing down stairs had the boy meeting up with a refreshingly compliant O.O., who presented the youth with Zero's trademark.
"O.O., we've won."
"I'm glad to hear it."
A triumphant and, perhaps, cocky smirk spread across Richilieu's face. He could do this. He could challenge Lelouch at his own game, and win! He could play against the dealer with a stacked deck and still come out on top. Yes, this was all possible now.
"O.O., this Geass... This is truly what it must feel to be a God, to be omnipotent among your former peers! With this, I can do it. I can accomplish it, my goal. I'd long been apathetic merely to cover my helplessness, but now? ... I can attain so much more..."
It began as a short chuckle, then a quiet chortle, but, inevitably, it evolved into a full blown cackle, resonating throughout buildings. A deep breath as he finally halted his disturbing celebration, the laugh quieting down in quite an intimidating manner.
"Truly... I am a God..."