authorsnote: edited 18/07
new day, new chapter, please enjoy! it is 1am here and my eyeballs are burning, but I hope you enjoy!
songrecs: the power of love - gabriella aplin
The next morning crept up on them, the sun usually blinding this far South had given way to some rare rain, that meant they were awoken an hour later than usual, the dim light of the dawn only just creeping in through their curtains, far later than normal.
It was peaceful, the gentle patter of the rain outside, the softness of the bed, the warmth, for he was so warm, deliciously so, he hadn't felt warmth like this in months, no longer, over a year perhaps. The last time he remembered a warmth like this had been with his twin by his side.
Ahh, Cersei, he did not want to think of her. His poisonous sister who he would have once given everything too, but now he had turned against, both in his own feelings towards her and his actions. His captivity, cured him of his affection yes, but had also given him some perspective, on how poorly she had treated him, how yes she had loved him, he believed that, but how she had loved power more, a love he could never compete with, and frankly didn't want to anymore.
How times could change. Sure, he still loved his twin, part of him always would, but he couldn't go back to how it was before, he knew that now.
But he was too peaceful to think of Cersei, or his father who was likely raging over Sansa's escape and his continued disappearance, he didn't want to think of the snake pit that was King's Landing, or worry about how his little brother was faring in the lion's den (though he shouldn't worry, he was sure Tyrion gave Cersei more than a run for her money when it came to scheming and slyness). He couldn't imagine what it was like in the Capitol at the moment.
Nor did he want to, no, he didn't want to think of any of that, not when he was so content, so comfortable.
Though years as a soldier made him question why he was so warm, and so at ease, when he should be the opposite. He was on the run with Sansa Stark, a wanted woman, one of the most important women in the country now, a key hostage. So, why was he so comfortable?
With a soft groan, he forced himself to confront it, to open his eyes, when all he really wanted was to fall back into sleep, to let the temptation of how comfortable he was lull him back in, as it easily would if he let it.
But he didn't, instead he forced himself to open his eyes, to glance around the darkened room, the candle having blown itself out in the night, and the curtains barely letting the dimmest of dawn lights in. He turned his head to the side, to his right, for he had slept by the door, and there he found her, and he found himself relax a little bit further, Sansa, by his side, safe.
After all, this was why he was risking everything; his life, the love of his family, his place; everything, for her, for Sansa Stark, the woman who he was sure would redeem his honour.
And she was here, fast asleep, content, a smile playing across her sleeping features, a smile he found himself mimicking. She seemed happy, like she had the past day with him, and it warmed him inside.
Something else was … warm as well, as he realised just how cosy they had gotten over the night. He still held her hand, as they had fallen asleep too, but somehow his other arm had snaked underneath her neck in the night, and her leg was draped across his calves. It was innocent, they were hardly tangled together, and he told himself it was just the warmth that had clearly unconsciously prompted them to pull closer to one another, and he also told himself it was just how relaxed he was and it was normal that he had a morning … surprise. It was fine, he told himself, but as he looked at Sansa's face, he realised … perhaps it wasn't.
He was attracted to her, he could admit that, she was a beautiful woman, with likely more room to grow into her beauty, and he acknowledged from their time on horseback together that he was attracted to her, but as he looked across at her, smiling, he realised it was becoming more dangerous than mere attraction, it was becoming something stronger, and at that he knew he had to break away, for he couldn't lay here anymore looking at her face, at her smile, and thinking of his feelings; it was too dangerous, far too dangerous.
And yet it seemed he didn't need to pick between slinking out of the bed or shaking her awake, as her eyelids began to flutter, and she woke in what seemed to be the same way he had stirred, with that lazy smile on her features, completely at ease. Sure, he felt glad she was feeling comfortable with him, that she seemed to have accepted his role as protector (and that was all he could be he told himself), but it unnerved him, just how comfortable they had become with one another so quickly.
She seemed at ease, as her eyes fluttered open, for a moment or two she was just smiling, no longer than a second, but she looked across at him with a smile, and an ease, until like it had to him the situation dawned on her, and her eyes widened, those beautiful blue orbs, flying fully open in alarm, and she quickly released his hand, pulled her leg back and pulled herself into a sitting position.
He followed, though didn't push back the covers as she had … as he had something to cover up. He understood her quick need to sit up when the situation had dawned on her, and he did the same, for they had ended up a little … too close the night before, clearly.
"I erm" She said, but did not elaborate further, her cheeks were burning now, and Jaime was reminded of the night before when she had admitted this was the first time she'd slept in a bed with a man … he had to quash the desire to tease her, as he would have normally done, and instead, he sought to reassure her, for she was looking uncomfortable, and he knew his usual easy teasing and laughter would just make it worse.
"Don't be worried Sansa" He said gently, that smile still on his features, though it was punctured with a little bit of seriousness now, more because of his own dangerous thoughts than her reaction, "It seems the highway man of an inkeep decided a golden dragon does not buy a fire in the room, evidently we were just cold" He said, giving them both an easy out to their close behaviour the night before, and in their sleep.
Her quick and furious nod indicated he'd made the right decision in covering up just what had happened the night before.
After all, … yes, in sleep they'd sought one another out, and he could admit it likely wasn't just for warmth, as their behaviour the past day and night reflected. It was a desire to be close to someone, to chase away the loneliness. After all, though he didn't know much about her time in captivity with his family, he could imagine it had been lonely, as had his time in captivity with her family had been.
It had been not just about warmth, but seeking comfort, that was clear as day to him, and as he looked across at Sansa, her expression mainly hidden by her hair, he caught a glimpse in her eye that she realised that too.
"It's okay Sansa" He said gently, though part of him wanted to just shove aside what had happened and use an easy excuse, part of him knew he needed to acknowledge that both their behaviour and view towards one another had shifted, his certainly had, and he could tell, hers had too. "It's normal, I think you, as have I, have been lonely for quite a long time" His voice was kind, a kindness he showed to few, and yet seemed to be showing Sansa more than he had any other person.
She froze then, he could see that, at him admitting it hadn't just been about warmth, their actions; the hand holding, the closeness. He knew he'd been lonely, he could admit that, even before his time in a muddy Stark cell, he had been lonely at battle, and even before then with his sister … well Cersei had a unique way of making a person feel lonely even when she was with them. Loneliness was a powerful, horrifying thing, and they had both acted (whether awake or asleep), out of a desire to chase away such a feeling.
She didn't speak then, but she moved, turned to him, her eyes glistening with what looked like tears, but she didn't cry, no.
Instead she just moved closer to him, and wrapped her arms around his neck, to which he embraced her, pulling her close, one arm around her waist, the other hand coming to cradle her head as she placed her head on his chest. He held her close, and nether cried, or had the desperation of that day in the rain, but there was a desperation, to not be lonely, to be with someone … and it dawned on Jaime, he didn't want to be here with anyone but Sansa.
"I don't feel lonely with you" She said gently, into his chest, so quietly he'd almost missed it. He smiled at her then, and nodded his head, as though to agree, and held her close, as the rain quickened, and morning chased away.
As the morning continued on, they went about readying themselves for the day. She was aware that morning they'd let down their guard a little, in sleeping in, eating breakfast at the inn before heading out, lingering to check on the horse
… and let they have let their guard down in others way too.
When she had awoken to Jaime looking at her, to her leg across his, to her hand still encased in his and her head having fallen to rest on his arm, it had unnerved her, and worried her.
Would he judge her? Would he be mad? But no … he had shown caring, kindness, and put her worries completely at ease. He had made her feel comfortable, in a way few ever had. Part of her tried to talk some sense into herself, that a big reason for her shift in feelings towards Jaime Lannister, was because of the fact he'd saved her, and was protecting her, that he was exactly like the shining Knight she had dreamt of when younger … but then part of her knew, it wasn't just that.
He was kind when he tried, made her laugh with his teasing, and he had more honour than she had thought. She had become comfortable with, and god forbid … he was not like any other Lannister she'd ever met … her view on him had completely changed, that much was evident.
It scared her a little, that she'd become comfortable with Jaime Lannister; the Kingslayer, a man without honour as they called him. And yet she felt she was seeing another side to him, a side few had seen … a side she liked, a side that flew in the face of everything she had thought she knew about him.
"Ready?" He broke her out of her thoughts then, as he stood in front of their horse, holding his arms out. She stepped into them with no hesitation as he lifted her onto the horse before jumping in behind her, his arms circling her as they always did.
At the start she'd leaned away from, tried to keep distance, and felt disgust when he had brushed against her. Now though? Now she leaned back against his chest, closed her eyes in contentment, she felt comfortable, his touch didn't revolt her anymore, it was comfortable to her, a comfort truly.
Part of her knew it was dangerous to think of Jaime in that way, with a smile … after all he was still a Lannister, and she'd heard tales of his cruelty, and had seen his fierce temper one on one … and yet she couldn't shake her feelings over how kind he'd been to her, gone out of his way to put her at ease, how he was protecting her. Was she being stupid again? She didn't know … but in truth she didn't really want to question it. She wanted to keep this feeling, of feeling safe, comfortable … and most importantly she wanted to keep this feeling of happiness she had.
She was on her way back to her family, she had escaped King's Landing and she had someone by her side who she knew she was starting to care about even though she knew she shouldn't, she was happy, and after so long being so unhappy, she did not want to lose this feeling of contentment she had now.
"You said the next stop was a two days ride?" She said gently, and she felt him nod as he turned them out of the stables, and back onto the road, leading the horse forward into a run, eating up the miles as they rode on.
"Yes, our next Castle will be Antlers, but that's three days away, two days to grab supplies, we'll stop just outside of Antlers and then onto the Riverland's" He said with a smile, and she heard the teasing in his voice at the mention of the Riverland's.
Of course she couldn't help but respond, a little squeal of delight leaving her lips … hardly ladylike and yet she couldn't contain her excitement at the idea that soon they'd be out of the Crownlands, into her mother's country, it was almost too good to be true!
So, for a moment she didn't care about being a lady (though in truth being a lady had hardly been on her mind of recent … she'd come to realise there were many more important things than courtesies), and she let out a squeal of joy.
He laughed in response, she felt the rumbling against her back and heard his laugh, a laugh she liked very much, for it was full, and honest, without even a hint of laughing at her in a mean way. It was nice, and she turned to grin at him for a moment, just enough to catch the smile slide off his face, as he looked over her shoulder then. She went to look back around but instead he slowed the horse, and moved one of his hands to her waist, yanking her to keep her facing him. Part of her wanted to protest the fact he yanked her a little too tightly, but at his expression she kept quiet.
Something was wrong.
"What?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper as he kept the horse going, but at more of gentle trot than a run.
"Soldiers" He said simply, his eyes still on the people behind her.
As soon as he said that word her blood ran cold, and she was surprised she didn't throw up her breakfast immediately out of fear. She tried to keep calm, they had known this might happen … and yet it scared her silly. To be so close to the Riverland's, she couldn't be caught now, she couldn't, she wouldn't. It was clear just how scared she was as she began to tremble, and Jaime glanced down at her quickly, his eyes full of concern as she could see.
"Can't we just run away?" Again, her voice was a whisper, but shook more now, her fear evident.
"Too suspicious" He murmured back, and she nodded in understanding. "Now don't say a word, but turn around, swing your leg over so you're facing me, and put your head on my chest, and turn your head away, and pull your cloak up" His stream of instructions hurried out, and yet Sansa rushed to comply, leg swung over, cloak pulled up, and then head resting on his chest. She felt his arms go around her, pulling the reigns but embracing her closer … out of comfort or to dull her shaking she wasn't sure, but she appreciated it either way, it helped. "And do not say a word" She nodded then, her lips shut, firmly.
It felt like hours passed as she heard the horses go past, as she saw Jaime bow his head, focus on the top of her head like it was the most important thing in the world. And yet … the soldiers soon passed, without event, and Sansa allowed herself a sigh of relief, and felt tears leak down her cheeks at pure relief that they hadn't been caught, that luck seemed to be on their side or rather Jaime's quick thinking was.
"Oh thank goodness" She said, lifting her head then to look at Jaime, who now was looking at her again, but he didn't express any relief, instead he continued to look down at her, bringing the horse to a stop, his eyes never leaving hers, her gaze locked in his; sapphire blue to emerald green. "Jaime?"
But he didn't speak, not a word, instead he moved forward. It would have been a lie to say she couldn't see it coming, and another lie to say she didn't have time to refuse or move away; she did, and yet she didn't move, if anything she leaned in a little…
...she leaned in, as Jaime Lannister's lips met hers.
It was just a moment, but by god, it was a moment Sansa Stark would always remember, a moment burned into her heart as his lips met hers, soft, gentle, not insistent but not slack either. As his hands splayed against her back, but one moved up to cup her cheek soon after. It was a beautiful moment, as though fireworks had imploded overhead … a kiss, a kiss she hadn't realised just how badly she had wanted until it happened.
As soon as he kissed her it dawned on her how much she had wanted it, as her hands moved, one to cup his face, the other to twine in his blonde hair. This was her first proper kiss, and she didn't entirely know what to do, so, she let Jaime lead, and goodness it was magnificent.
It wasn't long, not drawn out, but it felt like it, it felt like hours of the two of them, trapped in such an embrace, lips to lips, her lips even tilting up in a smile as he began to break free, and he soon followed suit, smiling too as he pulled back.
It was then he spoke.
"I...I'm sorry I just" For the first time she heard Jaime Lannister stumbling and it was completely endearing, and in a moment of boldness she leaned forward, to press her lips to his this time, a moment of boldness she hadn't known she was capable of; and yet it made her feel good, it made her feel strong. And she relished that feeling almost as much as the feeling of kissing Jaime Lannister, for she wasn't sure anything could top that feeling.
As the second kiss broke, she didn't move, and Jaime didn't let her, as he kept a hand on her cheek, and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. A small sigh left her lips, a sigh of contentment of happiness, and Jaime laughed in response, to which a giggle left her lips too.
"My god" She said, before giggling once more, and burying her face in her hands. She knew her cheeks must be on fire, and yet for once she didn't care, as Jaime lifted her chin with his thumb to look her in the eyes once more, he was still smiling, as she knew she was.
How could she not be? She had just had her first proper kiss, and it had felt perfect, it had been perfect, she just hoped he felt the same.
"Why were you saying sorry?" She asked, her voice gentle, still smiling, but curious about his words, a tad worried even he regretted it.
"Because I don't know if you wanted me to do that…" He paused then, his brow furrowing, but his smile continued, "And yet I had to, when we passed those soldiers, and I knew we were safe, that you were still with me … I just had to"
She nodded in response, as though in understanding, and couldn't help but giggle again, to which he laughed at her, but kindly, before leaning down and placing a kiss to her forehead this time, to which she let out another little sigh with a smile. He then whipped the leathers on the horse to put them back in a run, and Sansa Stark's giggles followed them, as did his laughter, as they rode on to the Riverland's, both smiling from ear to ear.
soo thoughts?
they kissed! they finally kissed! pop the champagne bby! I legit squealed. is a kiss at chapter 8 slowburn? idk, but hell it just came to me and I had to! I do hope you like how it was done and there are still some things to confront, this couple got issues out the wazoo, but we gotta have the nice moments too! angst/fluff, hand in hand.
I do hope you enjoyed, follow/fav to get updates! review to lemme know your thoughts and make me grin.
speak soon