authorsnote: edited 18/07
newish pov (second time) cropping up here once more. again jaime/sansa are primary pov's but there will be others smattered throughout.
pls lemme know if you enjoy, I love to hear your thoughts!
songrecs: shallow - lady gaga/bradley cooper, honestly that song slaps and fits this fic perfectly!
"Any word?"
God it felt like these meetings were a daily thing now and already Tyrion was sick of them (not that he'd ever voice that to his father). Every day he climbed the hundred odd stairs to the Tower of the Hand, his little legs always cramping afterward from the climb. He'd sit as everyone spoke a whole bunch of nothing and then climb back down, a massage sorely needed as his legs hurt in every possible way, his entire day now accompanied by leg pain.
It was an annoying part of his everyday life now as small council meetings had become a daily occurrence, with one constant daily topic.
The Stark girl and his brother.
It had been almost two weeks now and they were nowhere to be found. No little bird had tracked either of them down, no spies had seen hair nor hide of them, it was as though they had simply disappeared. The Stark girl had fled the capitol and was either on her way to being reunited with her brother, or dead in a ditch on the side of the King's Road, and his brother? That was ever more a mystery.
Spies had confirmed he had escaped Robb Stark and had been seen making his way South but now? Now he had disappeared too. There was no word on either of them and Tyrion was worried about them, both of them.
He hoped Sansa Stark was safe, she was an innocent, even if it would be bad for the Lannister's he hoped she made it back to her family. She was naive in all of this; she didn't deserve to be slaughtered.
But more than he hoped for Sansa, he hoped for Jaime, his favourite family member and one of the only people he loved. He hoped Jaime would come home soon, he hoped soon enough he'd walk into the Red Keep unharmed smiling and laughing that they had ever worried.
And yet today would not be that day as again there was no new information. Tyrion fought the urge to roll his eyes as both Pycelle, Varys and Littlefinger had nothing new to add but promised to remain vigilant, what use was that?
"Tyrion anything?" His father turned his glare on his youngest son and Tyrion didn't even bother to sit up properly, and only met his father's gaze with indifference, for at this point these meetings to him were pointless.
"You know I control few spies father" Tyrion said simply, "And none have seen the Stark girl or Jaime" He said with a shake of his head, "It as though they have disappeared into thin air'
"She's probably dead" Cersei said cuttingly, though she dropped her gaze as their father turned to glare at her, his dear sister was still blamed for Sansa's escape and had been walking on eggshells around their father ever since.
"Well let's hope so" Tywin Lannister shot back, "Else she'll soon reunite with her brother and better her dead than that" Tyrion pursed his lips at that. Yes, having Sansa back would be an advantage to Robb Stark, but should they really be wishing for a 16-year-old chit to be dead? No doubt after rape and torture? No.
Sure, Tyrion wanted the Lannister's to win this war, for reason of him being one, but he did not feel that Sansa Stark need be caught in the crossfire.
"If she returns to him then morale will be boosted and he'll realise we no longer have any bargaining chips against him, for surely he knows about the younger Stark sister now" Tywin said with another glare at Cersei, one that spoke of disgust. "She cannot return to him"
"Have your spies continue their searches, we'll convene again tomorrow" He said and that was the last note before he swept out of the room and thus, they were all dismissed.
Ahh, time for the walk down, and perhaps for a change from a massage an ice bath to soothe his aching legs. There was another meeting tomorrow, and no doubt there would be another after that until both Jaime and Sansa came home. He had no doubt Jaime would, that his brother was indisposed for some reason and would soon return with a smile. But the Stark girl? Tyrion and everyone else in the council room knew by now, dead, or alive she was gone.
Again, something had changed between them, but this time it would even be noticeable to an outsider, things were different now, more so than before and for the better too…at least she felt so.
Something had shifted, and Sansa was smiling more than she had in months. In fact, her cheek muscles had stung for a day or two after the kiss, for she was unused to using them for so long. Now her smile felt like a constant companion, and Jaime was much the same.
She had worried after they had kissed that things may become awkward, but instead they had become easier. Sure, they hadn't kissed since, nor mentioned it, but they smiled together more, laughed more, shared closer touches, and each night as they slept, they often held hands, and woke a little more tangled than the day before.
Sansa wasn't sure if something was blossoming or they were simply basking in not being lonely, but either way she wasn't going to complain. It felt nice, to have arms around her that spoke of comfort, to have a kiss to the forehead that felt full of warmth, to hear a laugh that was with her, not at her. It was nice and she didn't want to give it up.
They had been riding for just shy of two weeks now and Sansa couldn't believe how long it took for them to travel from place to place. She had asked Jaime once why it was taking so long when she recalled the King and his entire entourage had made it to Winterfell in barely over a month. He had then asked teasingly if the King had been hiding from Lannister soldiers and riding on one tired horse. At that she had blushed and in a fit of unladylike childishness had stuck her tongue out at him. He had laughed at that and her laughter had joined his as they rode down the Kings Road. In fact, they had been mistaken by a wandering Sept for a couple who had given them a blessing. At that the laughter had stopped and Sansa's cheeks had heated even more.
"Sansa?" Jaime spoke her name and she jolted out of her thoughts then with a little nod at whatever he had been saying. He did not need to know she had been thinking about him ... though she rarely wasn't nowadays. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes?" Sansa replied never noticing the way her voice would lilt when she lied. Sansa had been a poor liar before she had gone to Kings Landing but had gotten worryingly good at it during her stay in the capitol. Thankfully now she had left she was starting to lose that hardened shell of courtesies and lies she had been forced to form during her stay.
She was glad to be regaining who she was before she had gone South. She didn't like being forced to rely on courtesy and lies, always having a wall up. She liked being herself, guard down, perhaps naive, and even though Jaime often called her out when she tried to lie (though it was rare and only white lies), she often found she liked that she wasn't fooling him.
She also acknowledged that not only had her skill at lying gotten worse but Jaime was also a very good judge of character, she could see it when he looked at her, it sometimes felt like he could see right into her, into the depths of her, she wasn't sure if that warmed her or made her feel cold.
"I'll let you off this time" Jaime said with a smirk and Sansa rolled his eyes. She was sat in front of him on their horse, but she could practically feel the smirk on his expression. Still her scoff at his words caught in her throat as he spoke again, raising his arm from the reigns to point forward then, "Look, I was just saying where we've reached"
Sansa let out a little gasp as she followed Jaime's point to where they had reached. They were still some ways off and Sansa knew they wouldn't actually enter the castle but yet she felt undeniable happiness they had reached it. She also felt a little awe at the large keep; sure, she had seen it on the way down South, but it wasn't quite nothing to her yet, as it was still an amazing sight. For several minutes she simply took it in, and then turned to Jaime with a smile.
Harrenhal.
It was truly a magnificent structure, even melted and damaged as it was. It was still phenomenal, beautiful in its own way ruined or not. She found herself staring at it as Jaime rode them closer. To a 16-year-old girl castles certainly looked other worldly and impossible, how could they not? And Harrenhal had been the most amazing of them all.
She only turned away to look at Jaime with a grin and noticed he had the same expression before his gaze met hers. Perhaps castles always remained this intimidating and amazing? She hoped to never lose that wonder in her mind, for who wouldn't want to feel so amazed by something so wonderful?
And Harrenhal represented something else as well, and that was why Sansa smiled so wide as she looked back at Jaime. "We're getting closer" She said and Jaime nodded with a grin, even letting out a little laugh at her expression, one that was filled with hope and joy, an expression she had seldom had in the past few months to a year. It felt good to smile, to feel hope, it felt needed after so long of sombre expressions and cynicism. "We're getting closer to my brother!"
"Yes, we are" Jaime said back with a grin, and she couldn't help but squeal, to which he laughed again before planting a kiss on her forehead and wrapping his hands around the reigns once more. "Come on then little wolf, the forest tonight under Harrenhal's shadow, and then closer to your brother again"
Another squeal then, another burst of laughter from Jaime as he turned them into the forest and rode them into safety and shelter for the night. With each night's sleep they got closer and closer, with each day that passed and each mile they trekked they got closer and closer. Now the idea of Sansa reuniting with Robb, with her mother; it didn't feel like such a distant dream or hope, it felt like it could be real, and it could be soon.
She was smiling the whole way as Jaime led them into the forest and set out the blankets, they had bought at the last market side by side, close enough to touch as they slept now. She continued to grin as Jaime laid dinner out for them and then described their next stops and routes.
They would go around Harrenhal, then up to the Trident, perhaps chance a ship up the Green Fork and if not ride by its side on the edge by the Vale up the Kings Road. Then to the Twins and if Robb had already moved on, then off to Winterfell, up the Kings Road to the North.
He had it all planned out with a promise of stops in both inns and in the forest, to ensure they didn't get caught but didn't die of exhaustion at the same time.
Sansa's smile continued as Jaime shook his head at her in a good-natured fashion and then patted down the blankets by his side. Sansa laid down then, happy even as the cold bit at her and she tugged the blankets closer, smiling still even as the stars refused to wink through the overcast sky and instead it was just a greyish black, grinning even as she heard the hoot of an owl, the startling rush of the wind.
She didn't care at that moment that her gown was muddy, that her hair was in a messy plait with a leaf or two no doubt embedded in it, and that she had dirt under her fingernails. She was getting closer and closer to home, and so her smile refused to stop.
She didn't notice Jaime smiling at her as she drifted off to sleep with a grin on her face, nor did she notice her own hand curling around his as sleep took her.
He slept well for many a reason. The blankets they had picked up at the last market were a good shield against the cold, and Sansa now slept happily next to him, and she certainly radiated some extra heat, and they curled up close to one another, it was nice to share some warmth.
The first time they'd slept next to one another she'd perhaps have a foot over his calf, or end up with her head on his arm, but now? In the night she would squirm into his arms, head falling to his chest, arms looping around him, legs tangled with his, always curled into him now.
He didn't complain, only laughed a little as Sansa blushed furiously each time, he woke her and quickly disentangled herself, bright red across her cheeks and neck. It was cute, and her blush had deepened and spread when he pointed that out.
That night as she drifted off her hand was in his and soon her feet were tucked between his calves. The sound of the wind was oddly soothing to him as he slept, and so yes, he had slept well, the main reason however being what he had been thinking of as he had fallen asleep, Sansa Stark's smile.
Her little grin had sent him off to sleep with a smile. She was clearly thrilled that with each day they were closer to the Riverland's and her brother. She was grinning from ear to ear as he had pointed Harrenhal out to her and hadn't stopped smiling since. He found it adorable, and was happy for her, truly happy.
She deserved all of this and more after the pain she had endured, she deserved to be happy, to have hope, and the fact he was the one giving it to her in a sense? Now that had him smiling too.
And so, he awoke, well rested and comfortable, however not as comfortable as every other morning, instead he felt colder, a little unsettled, and as soon as he opened his eyes he realised why.
She was gone.
He was up in a second darting up and searching around wildly. His gaze caught that of her stuff still on the ground, the horse still sleeping nearby tethered to a tree. Logically if she'd been attempting an escape, she would have taken her stuff and stolen the horse, and surely, she was past the point of not trusting him now? He knew she wouldn't have ran off, Sansa wasn't that good an actress, she was comfortable with him now, trusted him, she wouldn't leave.
And so, he worried. Had she been kidnapped? How had he not woken up if so? Jaime was not a heavy sleeper, surely, he would have heard something? Unless she had deliberately been quiet in waking so not to wake him? But why would she be quiet at a kidnapping? Had her kidnapper held a sword to her throat? Had they threatened her?
His mind raced with a million possibilities, and he quickly went about grabbing his sword, securing it to his belt, happy for the first time he often chose to sleep in his full clothes instead of taking off his jacketed tunic. He was swift in readying himself, for he had to find her. He would find her, and ensure he saved her from whatever had happened.
Not only was Sansa his last chance for honour, for salvation but she had become more than that, he knew that. She was more than just a relic of the chance to gain back his honour, she was someone he cared for, he could admit that now, as unsettling as it was to do so.
When she laughed, he caught himself watching her, when she smiled, he smiled too without even meaning to. When she slept, he knew not only did she find him in the night, but he pulled her closer to. On the horse he wrapped his arms tighter around her than necessary. Sansa Stark was important to him now, no matter in what way, and so he would find her, he would.
At the start of this journey she had been his duty, his honour, now she was more, and he wasn't about to let her go.
"Jaime?" He whipped around in an instance, hand on his sword, and Sansa shrieked in response, the water skins in her hands thudding to the floor as she dropped them in surprise. "What are you doing, why have you..."
She couldn't finish the sentence as Jaime surged towards her, placed a hand on the back of her neck and tugged her forward without a word or question. He knew tension ran through him then, and his arms were shaking as he pulled her close to him, not as gentle as he should be in his worry.
Sansa seemed to realise his worry as she gently wrapped her arms around his back and settled into the embrace, as he just held her close, breathed her in, reassured himself she was safe.
"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice so gentle and concerned he felt bad for making her worry, even though he had been the one convinced she had been kidnapped or in danger. He had been out of his mind with worry for a few minutes and he felt guilty now for making her worried with his behaviour.
He took another second before speaking, "I awoke and you were gone, usually I wake up first, and since I couldn't see you anywhere I was worried" He said, a shaky breath leaving his lips before he managed to
scompose himself, pulling back to look at Sansa, his hand not leaving her neck though as she took a step back, her expression one of more confusion than worry or fear. "I overreacted I'm sorry"
"You were worried about me" She replied, still looking a little confused by such a thing, and he only nodded in response. At that Sansa was the one to step back into his arms, and he appreciated the comfort, given to him without him having to wound his pride further and ask.
That was one thing about Sansa he appreciated; she seemed to always know what he needed, whether it be comfort, or whether it to be left alone. She seemed to be able to read him well, just as he could read when she needed a hug or when she wanted to sit in silence and be left be. As the days went by, they understood one another more and more.
"I worry about you too" She said simply, and Jaime nodded, his body relaxing as she hugged into him and he rested his cheek atop her head, pulling her a little closer. Just like that, Sansa knew the perfect thing to say, she always did.
"You needn't worry about me, it is my job to keep you safe, not the other way around" He said with a small smile against her hair, and he felt her shake her head against him.
"No" She said and pulled back again to look up at him, her arms moving to circle his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her waist in response, "Maybe we can worry about each other?" She said gently, and he almost kissed her at just how sweet she sounded.
"And keep each other safe?" He smiled down at her then, not one of teasing or a smirk, but a proper smile, and he warmed as she smiled back at him.
"Maybe we should" He replied, and again he pulled her closer, as she went on tip toes to squeeze him into the hug he pulled her into, and for many a minute they simply remained in one another's embrace; something they were getting good at now, losing time to simply holding one another, and yet to neither of them did it feel like lost time.
It felt like time they wanted to cherish, in one another's arms, like time that was purer than anything else.
He was here, the North.
He was home now, and Winterfell was less than a day's ride away. They were home, home, and yet the pack was not complete, not yet.
For what must have been the thousandth time he turned his head to look South, as though hoping he could search for his sister by simply looking in the direction she was in. He hated having to leave her behind, to abandon her to return home. He hated that she was probably alone and scared… if she was even alive.
He tried not to think like that, for he didn't want to think she was dead. He tried to have hope, he had to have hope. Arya showing up helped that, for she had survived against the odds. He had to hope that Sansa would too.
He just hoped his little sister was okay. He hoped she was safe and warm and, on her way, back to him perhaps? For she had escaped, he could only hope she was heading North, towards him, towards home. He knew a large part of the reason Arya had survived had been due to the Hound, and he kind of hoped Sansa had found someone like that, a protector to keep her safe, to look over her. He could only hope, that was all he could do for now.
For now, he had a duty to do, a duty to his home, to his people, to his men who had crowned him King. He needed to take back his home and then prepare to march South once more. Winterfell remained in the grip of the Iron Born and Robb had to take it back.
"Shall we ride on your Grace?" His squire Oliver Frey spoke, and Robb could only nod his head.
"Ride on" He said, with another look back South he spurred the horse; it was time to go home.
soo thoughts?
this was one of my fav chapters to write, the tender moments between jaime/sansa make me smile, I hope they make you smile too! let me know if they do.
follow/fav for updates, review to give me your thoughts (lol that sounds oddly sinister).
speak soon