authorsnote: edited 18/07.

honestly this chapter makes my heart race, I can't even.

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songrecommendations: lovely - billie eilish, kalid

Harrenhal loomed overhead even as they rode away from it. It was so large, so dark, a blot across the sky as it towered over everything. It was intimidating and Sansa couldn't imagine what it would have looked like whole, before the inhabitants had been roasted alive, the walls scorched, and the towers melted. She couldn't imagine how much more imposing it would be, but she could understand why people had thought it would stand forever. It was still standing now after all, even if it was not quite in the same shape.

They were riding away from it now, to the next stop. The horse was doing well, and Sansa sat at the front as always, the rhythmic swaying oddly soothing to her. Sure, she was sore, but this was a vast improvement on Kings Landing. The Capitol may have had a soft bed, good food and all the luxuries but being free was the biggest luxury of all. She didn't care that she had to sleep in the forest, her muscles were sore from riding and she was dirty (though they had found a stream that morning to wash in, Sansa blushing the whole time as Jaime diligently kept his back to her). She would live like this for years if it meant never returning to Kings Landing and eventually reuniting with her brother.

But she knew it wouldn't take that long and Jaime had said, even if they had to travel to Winterfell (something he had joked he was not looking forward to as he had felt frozen last time, she had promised to lend him her cloak and he had laughed), it shouldn't be more than a month, three weeks if they rode hard. It was good, she was so close to her family she could almost taste it.

And the further she got from Kings Landing the better she was.

There was a rosiness to her cheeks, a spring to her step, an almost constant smile on her lips. She was a little thinner yes, a little dirtier (really a lot dirtier), but that didn't matter, away from Kings Landing she felt happy, she felt safe. Oddly, she felt safer sleeping on the side of the road than she had in the Red Keep. Of course, Jaime was to thank for that.

He was protective of her, but not in a possessive fashion. He lied to make sure she'd eaten her fill, liked to make sure she was happy. He didn't inquire about whether her patch of floor was comfortable or if she was cold no, it was deeper than that. He'd ask where her mind was when she gazed off into the distance, he'd ask what her smile meant when she grinned at him, always in a teasing manner of course. That was certainly something Sansa had learned about Jaime Lannister, he loved to tease.

In fact she had learned a lot about him in a short amount of time, considering they had been practically strangers before all of this. She had learned that whilst he loved to tease and play with her it was difficult to get him to be serious about anything for, he loved to jest. She had learned that he loved his brother Tyrion but did not speak of Cersei. She learned he loved apples and hated pears, and that he preferred ale to wine. She learned that he was more tender than she had thought, kinder, and in truth Sansa knew she was already half in love with him.

She would never have imagined Jaime Lannister to be like this. He had been so arrogant before, so mean and unkind. And yet now? Now he was sweet to her, he comforted her, and he made her feel safe, so safe, as though none could harm her whilst she stood by his side. When she sat on the horse with his arms around her, she felt content, when he held her hand at night she smiled, and when he hugged her … she felt like none would ever be able to touch her again.

She couldn't help but wonder what had changed him … she had even asked him about it one night as they lay under the stars, hands holding one another's, the hoot of an owl nearby.

'You seem different than before Jaime' She spoke gently, a little cautious, especially as his face turned serious.

'I suppose I am' He responded with a nod, though he did not elaborate.

'Why?' She prompted, not wanting to scare him off by saying her own thoughts out loud.

'Hmm' Again he fell silent, but Sansa did not prod, only shuffle closer. He needed to get here on his own …

'I had a long time to think whilst sat in your brothers cell, a long time to contemplate all the things I've done, all the evil, awful things I did' Another pause, Sansa knew she had stopped breathing, 'I committed so many wrongs for her, for my family, and when I thought about it, when I truly stopped and considered …' Again, a pause, 'I knew it was wrong'

'Just like that?' Her voice was a whisper now.

'No' He shook his head, though the dark was making it hard to see, 'It took many months, of getting over my denial, my stubbornness, my refusal to believe'

'But you got there?'

'I did … I am' It was too dark to see him now, 'Part of me still believes a lot of what I did was right, part of me still thinks of that old life' Sansa felt her eyes fill with tears, for how could she not cry when he was so raw in front of her? 'Part of me thinks my sins will never be washed away, and that part is right, never'

'Oh Jaime that's not tru…'

'It is' He cut her off, and the tears trickled down her cheeks, 'The things I've done Sansa … you couldn't even comprehend…'

'I could'

'No, you couldn't'

'Like what?'

'Sansa please, just trust that you co…'

'Like when you pushed my brother out of the window?'

Silence had fallen and Jaime had jumped to his feet, Sansa too, the tears wet on her cheeks now. She had reached for him and he had refused, turned from her and that had caused a sob to leave her lips. At that he had whirled back around, approached her, but he didn't dare let himself touch her.

'How?' He asked, and Sansa had shaken her head this time.

'I think I've known for a while' She said, her teeth finding her bottom lip as the tears continued to fall like diamonds, 'He caught you, didn't he?' His nod was all the confirmation she needed, but she had already known.

'How can you not despise me?' He asked, and she had realised then that he had tears on his cheeks, all japing gone, and then she had reached for him again and he had accepted.

'I don't know' She said in truth, and she felt the tears on his cheeks as he felt the tears on hers. 'I just cannot' And at that he sank to his knees, pressed his face to her stomach and though he made no sound she knew he cried.

After that they hadn't spoken of it again, but something had seemed to lift a little in Jaime, that she knew, that he would not have to tell her. But then something seemed to cloud him as well, in that he could not understand, did not understand how she accepted it.

In truth Sansa did not know herself. She had suspected for a while that Bran had not 'fallen', but only when she had looked across at Jaime as he exposed himself, as he spoke so vulnerable and cursed his former actions did, she realise. She should have been angry, should have screamed at him but she couldn't, again she wasn't sure why not.

Perhaps it was because she was already in love.

Winterfell loomed near and Robb felt a rush of satisfaction in his belly as he looked upon the impressive fortress. He was almost home, and he felt the air change around him, the North was his home and it felt different to anywhere else. The cold was welcome against him, and as the wind whipped around him, he felt peaceful. This was where he belonged, not the south, he could only regret he could not bring everyone with him.

God, he felt guilt, immense guilt that he had left Sansa behind. Bran and Rickon were dead, Jon cold at the Wall, his Father long gone, his best friend in Theon a turncoat and Sansa left in the South. He only had his Mother and Arya with him now and he supposed that was a blessing, but it still felt wrong.

They had to take back the fortress from the Iron Born though, had to fortify the North, and had to let the men back to their castles to gather the final harvest and prepare for winter. If it were up to Robb, they would secure Winterfell and march straight back South, but he knew that was not an option. They would return South, they would, but not for a while, and that meant Sansa was alone.

His Mother still wept nightly for her eldest daughter, but Arya's arrival seemed to calm her. There were many decisions to make moving forward now. Already men had been dispatched to liberate the other castles in the North from Iron Born rule, and Moat Cailin had fallen easily enough with the assistance of the Cranogmen and the option of surrender to the Iron Born. The other castles would fall easily, and Robb knew they could take Winterfell too, but there were other problems arising too.

He had intercepted a raven meant for Roose Bolton that wrote of a planned betrayal, he could tell from the language that Lord Bolton had already agreed to it. That had involved having to hold back the Great Jon from beheading the man before he had been duty bound to do it himself. Thankfully he had already received word the Dreadfort had been taken, Ramsey put to the sword (thanks to what they had found in the dungeons), and the castle stood empty, whilst Robb would decide of a new Lord for the Dreadfort.

Thankfully, the morale of the men was still strong, even if they cold, tired, hungry and homesick. The promise of home after liberating Winterfell was enough for them. Then they would regroup to march South again.

"Robb?" He was jerked from his thoughts by Arya, who sat on a horse next to him with a cheeky smile on her face. She would not be in the battle but liked to sit up front with him, he indulged her.

"Yes Arya?" He asked with a smile, but he could see hers drop.

"Do you think Sansa is okay?" She squirmed a little in her seat, "I know we always used to argue but I love her"

Robb felt sat to see her expression, one of regret and sadness, and he reached over to pat his little sister on the shoulder.

"I am sure she is fine" Robb said with a nod, though he wasn't truthful.

It was clear Arya had only survived because of Yoren from the Watch and then the Hound, she would have been a goner had she not had such protection. But Sansa? Sansa was likely all alone in the world, alone, afraid, and perhaps already dead. Robb knew she didn't stand the same chance as Arya, and Robb found himself hoping that if she was dead it had at least been quick. He hated to think she might be already gone but he knew that was the most realistic,

"Do you think she knows I love her?" Arya's lip was trembling then, and Robb leaned over even more to give her a hug.

"Of course, she does" Robb said, placing a kiss to her head that for once she didn't protest, "And I know she loves you"

Arya seemed comforted at that, and then Robb turned his gaze back to Winterfell. Robb missed Sansa and he was scared for her, but he knew now he had to focus. They would reach his home soon and then they would take it back.

"Continue on" He turned to his squire and wife's brother Olyvar who conveyed the order back to the lines. Soon the Northern army was moving forward, to Winterfell, his home.

The ride along the road continued and they were both feeling weary. Sansa was tired, but oddly she felt more refreshed on the road than she had in Kings Landing. In the Capitol she had slept little, she slept more now on the side of the road than she had in the most comfortable of feather beds. Sure, she looked worse for it but she felt a lot better.

They had passed Harrenhal now, it still loomed in the distance behind them, but they were now on the road again, making their way into the Riverlands, but it was busier here than anywhere else they had been, it was worrying.

There were markets, stalls, many more travellers, and Sansa felt nervous the entire ride. They were barely in the Riverlands, they were not safe here, not at all. As soon as they had passed Jaime had told her to do as they had done in front of the soldiers, she faced him instead of facing the front, and had her hood pulled to hide her hair, which was by far her most distinctive feature. She rested her head on Jaime's chest, her arms around his waist whilst his arms encircled her to hold the reigns. She kept her head down and her mouth shut, only Jaime's presence kept her from shaking.

So far, they had gone unnoticed, but Sansa felt tense and anxious the entire way through, they didn't dare stop for supplies, nor stop at any point. They picked their way through the crowd and the busy market, avoiding anyone's eye. They hoped they could pass by unnoticed and stop at an inn a days ride away for supplies.

They were just getting to the thick of the crowd when they heard a shout from behind them. It was a loud shout, and Sansa flinched and felt her heart leap into her throat.

Suddenly silence fell across the crowd and everyone came to a stop. Jaime was forced to stop the horse too, so not to look suspicious, though Sansa wished she could urge him to ride away, and ride hard, but as she caught a glance at the men who stopped them she knew they wouldn't be able to get away.

It was four men, all with fresh horses and decked in Lannister armour. They weren't particularly intimidating, swords gleamed at their hips, but Sansa knew Jaime would be able to take care of them, but what if they recognised him? What if they recognised her? She knew Lord Varys had spies across the Kingdoms as did Littlefinger, as did Tywin. They weren't in danger of being killed here, but they were certainly in danger of being spotted.

Sansa felt sick with worry and she was shaking now, her hands tightened on Jaime's waist, her fingers gripping at his tunic, her eyes darting to look up at him.

He too looked worried, but he tried to reassure her with an easy smile, even though she could see it was strained. "I'll protect you" He mouthed, and she knew that, she did, but that didn't mean the situation wasn't dangerous. Still she nodded and clutched at him further.

"Everyone off your horses" The soldiers called, and Sansa could see Jaime debating it; would they be able to ride away? Would they be fast enough? She knew they wouldn't when Jaime nodded at her and the decision was made, and they climbed down. He helped her come down and kept one hand on the reigns of their horse, and he used his other hand to hold hers. He angled himself to stand in front of her, and she could see the hand he had on the horse was positioned so he could go for his sword at a moments notice. Did he anticipate a fight? She shook harder then.

"Jaime?" She whispered, and he shook his head, turned to her, and put a finger to his lips. She nodded, he was right, they shouldn't talk, she had to trust he knew what to do.

She squeezed his hand hard and he squeezed back. Her other hand reached to clutch his as well. She knew she was shaking but she tried not to look so scared, even though she felt terrified.

"This is an inspection" One of the men called, and Sansa did feel a little bit relieved at that, that they weren't specifically looking for them. She was worried though, sure few people knew what she looked like, she had rarely been out and about in the Red Keep after all, but Jaime? The time on the road had seen his hair grow a little longer, and his beard had been shaved, but he still looked like him. He was distinctive, and she was terrified they'd notice him, he was Jaime Lannister, famous, he'd probably fought alongside these men! What if they recognised him?

Still he squeezed her hand again and she felt reassured, he would keep her safe, she knew he would keep her safe, in that she had no doubt.

"Stay still, don't talk I will" He spoke out of the corner of his mouth in a whisper, "Keep your head down, and if fighting starts get back" He paused then, he didn't want to contemplate the next eventuality but he had to warn her, "If I fall fighting then jump on the horse and ride, ride hard, go North, only North, find your brother" Sansa let out a little gasp but he turned to look at her, "Promise me"

"I won't leave you" She whispered with a furious shake of her head, "I won't"

"You will" He said, a growl leaving his lips, "If I fall you have to run, you have to, go North and find your brother"

"No" She shook her head again and Jaime wanted to curse at her stubbornness, though part of him felt a little warm inside that she didn't want to leave him, he knew she had to if he fell.

"Sansa" He growled but again she shook her head, and he was forced to fall quiet as the soldiers slowly made their way around.

Jaime knew this was bad, if the soldiers recognised them, they were screwed. There were too many people here that it would certainly get back to his Father, and then he would be named a traitor, a turncoat, and that would be it. Any possibility of returning to his old life would be gone.

However, he found he didn't regret that as much as he once had. What in his old life did he have to return to? A mad King of his seed on the throne? His sister, who at the start of this journey he had wanted to get back to, but he now knew he had been wrong? His father? The only person he felt a pang of sadness he would miss was Tyrion … and Cersei a little. Not for what she had become, cruel, unkind, uncaring, but for who she had been as children. She had always had a mean streak, but she had been somewhat kind once, he missed her, he missed that Cersei.

For he didn't love Cersei anymore, not like that, he couldn't. His time in captivity had stopped that, though he had only realised that when he had started this journey. And in truth he realised it all the more as time went on.

When he saw Sansa smile, so innocent and kind. When she held his hand each night as she went to sleep and always woke up a little closer with her leg kicked over his calves. The way she laughed, eyes filling with delight. The way she made him laugh and looked so pleased when she did. She was beautiful, innocent, kind … nothing like Cersei.

And he cared for Sansa now, he could see that. He wanted to protect her, keep her safe, take care of her. And … he was starting to realise he did not want to leave her. He did not want to drop her off with her brother and never see her again. He didn't want to fight against her or her family as it would mean going against her. He wanted to stay with her, he knew that now … but that was an issue to confront on another day.

Now he was focused on the soldiers, they were making the rounds, peering in people's bags, bullying people, and taunting them. Jaime knew he would have to keep his cool and Sansa's hand clutching his helped. There best chance was to get through this unscathed and unrecognised so they could continue on, he could not lose his temper.

Though as soon as the soldiers reached them that no longer became possible.

"So, what do we have here?" One of the soldiers said as he approached, and immediately began to rifle through the saddle bags on the horse. Jaime had to restrain himself from stopping him.

"Names" One of the others said and Jaime spoke, trying to add some gruff to his voice, so he wouldn't sound so highborn, for that would be a dead giveaway.

"Edwin" He spoke with a nod, "This is my wife, Kate" He said, and the soldier nodded … before he got a look at Sansa, even though she had kept her eyes on the floor, he could still see her and he immediately leered at her as he did.

Jaime went to step in front of her, but Sansa's nails digging into his hand stopped him, he knew he couldn't lose his temper, not unless they gave him a reason to, and they hadn't yet … just.

"Who is this pretty little thing wasted on a commoner?" He said and the other soldiers laughed as he leered forward. Jaime gritted his teeth to stop him springing forward, and he knew Sansa was clutching him hard to stop him.

It was only when the man reached forward and tugged her hood from her head did Jaime know this was it. As soon as Sansa's hair was uncovered, and Jaime lifted his head and thrust his hands out to push the solider away before reaching for his sword … their cover was blown.

"Wait!" A solider called as the two standing advanced forwards onto Jaime, "That's Jaime Lannister" The third said, and then several people gasped, and Sansa let out a little whine, this was it, they were found.

"Who's he with?" The soldiers had at least stopped now, sensing that fighting Jaime Lannister was not the best of ideas for many reasons. Both in that he was a legendary swordsman, and the son of their commander, and a Lannister himself, he could see them evaluating what to do. Jaime however kept his sword ready and had moved to stand completely in front of Sansa.

"Fuck" The soldier who had looked through their saddle bags moved around and caught a look at them then, "That's Sansa Stark" More gasps and Jaime let out a groan, "I recognise her from the Kings nameday celebrations" Shit, fuck. That was it, they could not let them leave alive, no chance. Spies in the crowd would report back and Jaime couldn't kill everyone here, but the soldiers? They had to be stopped from following them, they would have to die.

"Ser Jaime" The lead soldier spoke again as his friend finally stood to his feet. "What are you doing with Lady Sansa? She's a fugitive, reward of 100 gold dragons for her capture" It was then the civilians seemed to pay more attention. That was a life changing amount, though none stepped forward, sensing Jaime would not let them take her, and damn they were right. "Are you trying to bring her home?"

"No" A civilian piped up then and stepped forward, a dagger in his hand, "They were going in the opposite direction to Kings Landing"

"Ser Jaime?" The soldier spoke again in question this time. Fuck, this was it.

Jaime lashed out quickly, his sword through the stomach of the one who had leered at Sansa first, before he pulled it out and sent a strike at the civilian, which he narrowly dodged. "Sansa go" He called, and he turned to look at her for a second before turning back, his sword whirling through the air to cut through another one of the soldiers. Two down, three to go.

Though more joined, other civilians who were willing to take a chance with him for the money. He understood that, but that didn't mean he'd let them near Sansa.

And yet … they had found a way around him.

"Jaime!" He heard her scream as he slashed out at the fighters, and he turned to see two men pulling her away. He could see the plan now, distract him with the fight whilst they hurried off with Sansa to hand her over for the reward.

That was when he saw red.

He was fast, too fast for them and he fought with a fury. He cut through them quickly, whirling his blade through the air, his footwork neat and quick, the thick muscles in his arms rippling as he struck his sword out. Soon three civilians were dead and the two soldiers, blood splashed across the dirt road. He didn't have a nick on him, though his tunic had a fair amount of blood on it. He killed one final attacker by thrusting his sword through his throat before he turned to see them dragging Sansa away, the rest of the crowd having ran behind the stalls or ran all together. The ones who had Sansa were running towards Harrenhal and he knew he could not let them make it to the castle.

And so, he reached for his dagger and threw it, it whirled through the air, striking one of the captors in the back of the head. He heard Sansa scream, and she continued to thrash but she wasn't strong enough to get free. He sprinted forward in time to see Sansa elbow her captor in the face. It wasn't enough to stop the rogue but it left him dazed for a moment and he smiled, not a nice smile, a mean smile as it gave him the opening he needed.

He grabbed at the captor from behind and Sansa fell to the floor. The civilian struggled but Jaime was too strong, too skilled. A twist of his arms and the man fell to the floor, his neck broken. The fight was over.

"Jaime" Sansa cried out, and he quickly went to her, pulling her up. She threw herself into his arms, sobbing, and he held her close before pulling back to look at her, to check over her. Not a mark on her, like him, she was okay. She looked terrified, ruffled, and he knew he was covered in blood and his own blood was still up, but they were both alright.

"You're okay" He said, both to himself and to her. She nodded and clutched at him, not caring about the blood. "You're okay"

"Why didn't you run?" He asked, his hands moving to hold her face, to cup her face, his thumbs stroking over her cheeks without meaning to.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you" At that he kissed her, how could he not? He pulled her too him and kissed her, his lips firm as he pulled her into his arms. His arms circled her waist, and her hands found there way to his chest. He kissed her hard, putting every worry and bit of desperation into it and Sansa though gentler and more timid responded in kind by clutching him, by tipping her head back and by kissing him back.

It was wonderful, like fireworks exploding in his head, and he felt a deep warmth he had never felt with Cersei. He felt a contentment, a happiness, and he knew from the way she clutched him, the way she sighed and smiled into the kiss, he knew she felt the same way. It was a happiness he could not associate with anything else; it was a warmth in his belly, a rush that made him want to laugh and smile and keep kissing her. It was … it was everything.

But as lovely as it was, and as much as he never wanted it to stop, they did not have time for this. Civilians still watched them, and they were too out in the open, too close to Harrenhal, and so Jaime quickly pulled free. He laughed at Sansa's squeak of protest before he took her hand in hers and they ran back to the horse. He quickly grabbed a bag of provisions hanging on one of the stools and he saw Sansa do the same before they made for their horse.

"We have to go" He said, and she nodded. He quickly pulled her onto the horse and then leapt up in front of her instead for he would have to go faster than he had before. There was no time to secure the saddle or place the provisions down. Sansa quickly tied the provisions down to the saddle bags, and then he was off. He felt Sansa wind her arms around his waist and clutch him hard as he turned them around and then took off.

Thankfully, the horse had rested well the night before, and so he rode hard and fast, away from Harrenhal, away from the markets, and away from it all.

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