authorsnote: this story ;-; it makes me emotional y'all!

I do hope you enjoy, our bbys are on quite the journey - ayeeee ... I'll stop now.

do review and let me know watcha think, and as always enjoy!

songrecs: mercurial world - magdalena bay (the single not the album, tho the album is fantastic, highly recommend!)

She awoke abruptly.

It wasn't yet dawn, the sky still dark, but not quite pitch black. She'd woken up quickly, her neck hurting a touch, a shiver in her bones, a gnawing in her stomach. It was cold, but thankfully no rain came, it was dry, but the ground had a chill, even with the cloaks and blankets wrapped around them, Sansa shivered.

Why had she woken? Well, she'd never slept well in Kings Landing, too scared, always on alert, and it was the same here. It was only that the danger lurking here was a different kind, but none the less real.

It was very real, the danger at their tails. Lannister's, mercenaries, and who knows what else that would find value in their capture or deaths. They were no longer hiding, their locations completely unknown, no, ever since the marketplace … they were being hunted, and the hunters were closing in.

She turned her glance, to seek some reassurance from Jaime perhaps, or just to talk, but noted he was still asleep, head resting back against the rock of the bridge. She didn't want to wake him, not when he'd been running on even less sleep than her, and so she stayed quiet, and instead of talking, took a moment to admire… study Jaime Lannister.

Of course, he was handsome, there was no denying that, but she tried to see beyond it. Wanted to see deeper than the beauty that so many focused on. It was the same for her, few rarely saw beyond her pretty face, her shiny Tully hair, her sweet smile, none ever saw anymore of her than that.

'One day, they will see the iron underneath'

Her Father had said that to her once, and even when she'd been obsessed with prettiness, Knights and Southern fripperies it had still stuck with her, that there was more to her than prettiness, this nice face. There was another layer to her, and with Jaime there was too.

His hair was a little grubby, but still that shining Lannister gold, falling over his forehead and near his eyes, bright under the glow of the torch embers smouldering at their feet and the touch of moonlight lowering in the sky. He had some stubble, as blonde as his hair but otherwise he was clean shaven, a more Southern thing, the men in the North kept their facial hair for warmth, but she wasn't sure which she preferred.

His eyes were closed, but the Lannister green did make her a touch uneasy, they reminded her of Cersei's. But, where Cersei's were always cold, detached, like glittering emeralds, Jaime had warmth in his; when he teased her, when he laughed, when he kissed her. There was a glow to them, and that eased the worry, in fact, it made her feel warm too.

Now they were shut though, and she admired his skin, clear and blemish free, with only a scar on his right cheek, barely noticeable, in fact she had to lean in a touch to take proper note of it, which she did, leaning in, close enough to brush his nose even, but since he was asleep…

"You know it's considered rude by some people to stare at a sleeping person, though I don't mind"

A shriek of surprise left her lips as Jaime spoke, flicking open those eyes, filled with warmth now, and she jolted backwards in shock, even as he laughed at his jape, which to her had not been very funny.

"Jaime!" She admonished, but a smile did come to her as he continued to laugh, even as she gently smacked him on his arm, he had been so rotten to trick her like that! But, his laugh meant she couldn't stay mad for long, and instead she scooted back closer as the cold got worse, and just rolled her eyes as he continued to tease.

"You scared me" She said with a glare, though she was smiling a touch, Jaime had far too much charm for his own good, and he knew it too. She imagined he'd charmed his way out of many a sticky situation and seemed determined to do the same here.

"Oh, don't worry it was adorable" He teased, "Admiring my handsome face?"

Then she rolled her eyes again, and feeling just a touch bolder than normal, she instead pressed her finger to his scar before pulling back, she knew her cheeks were flaming, likely she looked like a tomato, for once she was thankful it was still dark.

"No, I was looking at that" She said, as though that had been the only thing she had studied… well, Jaime didn't need to know that.

Though his grin showed he couldn't be fooled, even as he touched the scar himself, "I was in the training yard, against one of the lesser Lord's boys, we were only 13, he caught me here" He said with a smile, "Cersei was furious, ran off to tell Father and demanded him whipped"

Sansa gasped a little at that, "He wasn't, was he?"

Jaime shook his head, "No, Father said I should move my feet faster, Lannister's didn't take blows, they gave them" He rolled his eyes then, "And so I learned to move my feet faster, though Cersei was still furious"

Sansa nodded at that, it sounded like something his Father would say. She imagined her own Father's reaction if Robb had taken a cut like that. Likely, Lord Stark would have offered some comfort and then encouraged him to get back out there, almost the same method, but likely not with the coldness Tywin Lannister was known for.

"Do you still love her?"

As soon as she said it, she wanted to take it back, she hadn't even meant to say it! She wasn't even sure where it had come from! But it had come to her, and she had said it, before even thinking!

It was so different, in Kings Landing she had been so careful, watching every word, ensuring any sentence was perfectly structured to not cause offence or invite questions. She had watched everything she said, had never asked questions, had kept quiet, 'seen and not heard', and had been the picture of courtesy only when anyone had spoken to her. That had been her armour, her courtesies, they had been a large part of what had kept her alive.

That and keeping her mouth shut.

But here? With Jaime? She felt comfortable, after crying in his arms in the rain, holding his hand in a rickety tavern bed, snuggling up next to him under a cold bridge … she felt as though she could talk to him about anything. It was so different to what her life had been for the past few years, being comfortable, it was new to her.

Or maybe, a return to what her life had been like before she'd gone South, to dreaded Kings Landing. Still, it was no excuse, comfortable was one thing, nosy and asking dangerous things was another.

She didn't think Jaime would hurt her, no, she trusted him, completely, but she didn't need to be asking those kind of questions … even if part of her, okay all of her, really wanted an answer.

And so, it was to her surprise, when Jaime gave one.

"In a way" He said tilting his head back, "It's hard to explain"

She stayed quiet this time, even as she wanted to ask him to, beg him to explain, she didn't, she wasn't that foolish or loose mouthed, at least not yet.

Still, her expression must have been enough, as Jaime glanced at her in the light of the dying embers of the torch and let out a small sigh, before saying the last thing she expected him too.

"She's my twin, we came into this world together, and I thought we'd always leave together. I've always loved her, loved her more than anyone" He paused then, and Sansa knew she was holding her breath, clutching it in her chest, not wanting to make a sound, "But I don't think that anymore, I think instead of her poison, her cruelty" He stopped, swallowed, and Sansa knew the words were hard, "And the reality that she never loved me as much as I did her"

Sansa felt an odd urge to say Cersei did love him, to offer any comfort, as Jaime looked a touch … broken then, from what she could see as shadows danced over his face. She didn't of course, still silent, breath still held, waiting for him to continue.

"When your brother captured me I had a lot of time to think, and I thought a lot of Cersei, her hatred, her love" He turned to her then, meeting her gaze, green to blue, meadow to sea, emerald to ice, "And I realised through all of it I was never really happy, not really, not like … " He stopped then, offered her a smile, a bitter one, with just a touch of truth, but she understood, she did.

And from that, she didn't need anymore.

Instead, she nodded, and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss to Jaime's cheek, her own cheeks a touch red. He hadn't outright said it, but it had been enough. She knew his feelings were confused, Cersei had, had a hold on him for a long time, it would take a while to completely break.

But as Jaime pulled her closer again, and she settled into the nook of his shoulder and cuddled close she was smiling.

For now, Jaime's words, and even what he couldn't say … they were enough for her.

By the time they woke again, dawn had broken over the hills.

It was still cold, even for the Riverland's, 'Winter is coming'; it certainly was, not quite here yet but making its presence known, making it clear it was on its way. The summer had been long and fruitful, he had no doubt the winter would retaliate, twice as harsh and barren.

'Winter is coming' Stark words, their words for so long, and it always rang true in the end.

'Hear me roar' Lannister words, another true phrase as well.

"Jaime?" He turned his head to see Sansa waking. It was just past dawn, and still bitterly cold, he wasn't surprised she had woken, though he had hoped they would both get a touch more sleep.

It was going to be a lot harder going forward, no transport, little food, no water, and having to stray from the main road to avoid being captured. It wouldn't be trotting down the Kings Road on horseback, stopping at inns and markets anymore, no, no those days were behind them.

Now it would be about evasion, hiding away, sneaking in and out of villages to get supplies, living off the land, and making their way on foot. He felt uneasy, their journey time had just doubled, tripled even, and it would be a challenge getting North now.

Before it had been difficult, challenging even, but now it would be a bigger uphill battle, near impossible to go without being seen, and to do so whilst surviving.

He glanced at Sansa again as she yawned, wrinkled her nose and he managed a smile. It didn't matter, he'd do it for her.

Jaime was quickly realising there was very little he wouldn't do for her.

It was dangerous, to feel for someone so deeply, he knew that, he'd been taught that. Love was weakness, love was an alleyway to pain, an avenue to being broken. Loss came, death, hatred, cruelty and saw that love gone, rotten, torn, it was better to go without, to never open yourself to that potential pain, to that heartbreak, easier, less messy.

But it wasn't living, was it? Jaime could never be that cold, not like his family, not the way they could attach. He couldn't, wouldn't and didn't want to do it. He wanted to love, as difficult as it could be.

And besides, he wasn't sure he had much choice on that front, not anymore.

There was no stopping it now.

"Are we leaving?" Sansa asked, though she cuddled closer to him, no doubt cold and tired.

He had to nod though, as he glanced at the sky, it was near dawn. It would be too dangerous to travel at night, and so they had to use all of the daylight they had. They'd need to get used to less sleep, less food; nights on the forest would seem like a luxury soon.

"Come on" He spoke gently. He could do this, had lived like this before, hungry, cold and tired, but for Sansa it would be hard, very hard, he'd have to help her.

And help her he would, always. It would still be hard though.

Still, Sansa nodded and forced herself up without complaint to which he smiled. He knew she wanted to seem tough, which was funny as she handed the blanket over to him to secure and he glanced at how slight she was, so thin and petite, tall yes, but still small to him. Tough was not a word he'd use when looking at Sansa Stark, not that he'd say that to her, he knew pride, and knew it was painful to have it broken.

Pride for a while had been the only thing, he'd had left, now he had more, but to his pride he needed to hold on, it was part of him, always would be. Sansa had some too, that he could understand.

They were quick in packing, they shared a remnant of hard bread he'd found at the bottom of the bag, but that was it. There was a sip left for each of them in the waterskin and that was all. They both had empty bellies and parched throats, food and water was the next priority.

They both secured their cloaks around themselves, and Jaime packed the blanket in his much emptier bag. He secured his sword, and dagger before handing a spare over to Sansa who looked nervously but nodded, slipping it into her dress pocket. If Jaime was dead she'd need to use it, though it likely wouldn't do much good.

"Ready?" He asked, forcing a smile. They prospects were bleak, bags barely half full only with some slightly less dirty clothes, and in Sansa's case some person items but nothing more, only a blanket between them and a cloak each for warmth. No food, waterskins empty, and another night in the cold would be hard, brutal, but it was where they were.

"It's worth it" Sansa said, as Jaime held his hand out to her, which she took without hesitation to let him lead her out from under the bridge.

"What is?" He asked then, eyebrow raised as they climbed the small incline to find themselves on a rough path between two farms, the sun indicating their way North, into what looked like more farmland and little else. Bleak.

"This" Sansa gestured as she released him and straightened up, pulling her cloak closer, it had once been a fine thing, nice wool spun in a deep grey, with pretty light stitching on the collar. Now it was muddy and torn in two places, evidence of their journey.

"It's worth it to be going home" Sansa said, and then she paused, and Jaime waited, though his face split into a smile at what she said next.

"And to have found you"

At that they set off on their journey with some renewed vigour, hand in hand, onto the rough path and then through a field, the farmhouses too far off to divert for. It was easier to smile thanks to Sansa's words though, and as they walked, Jaime felt just a touch of hope.

Worth it.

Though three hours later, said hope was waning.

They had seen almost nothing. One mill, but it was ruined, abandoned, with nothing to offer, and then just countless fields. Jaime had known the Riverland's produced food, but this made it look like there was nothing else it had to offer, only endless farms and no buildings. Of course, Jaime knew that wasn't true, they were just heading East, to the Vale, where the Riverland's were less densely populated, but still, it was discouraging as with each hill, or each horizon, all they could see was grass.

Still, they trudged on bravely, as they had no choice. The air had warmed a touch but the sky remained grey, rain threatened, which was good for water, they'd fill their skins and drink from the heavens and hells until their lips were no longer chapped and throats eased, but they needed food, and needed it soon.

And so, after another hour, when silence had persisted over their walk, mainly to conserve energy, Jaime near fell to his knees with relief as he spied a village ahead, one that hadn't met the torches of war just yet.

Though Jaime had no doubt war was on the horizon.

"Here" Jaime said, pulling Sansa to the side. Sure, they'd have to stop here, they needed supplies to survive another night, but they had to be cautious.

He hoped they were off the beaten path enough to no longer being followed, especially with their veer East, but they had to be careful.

Jaime would bet himself against five, maybe six soldiers, but a hunting pack? They'd restrain him before getting to Sansa, and he couldn't, wouldn't let that happen. Stealth was their best friend now, and one they had to follow.

"Jaime" Sansa spoke, sounding a touch distressed, to which he turned to her immediately, and her expression matched her voice, "I know we have to be careful, but we have to stop, I…"

"I know" He cut her off, knowing she was hungry, cold, tried, thirsty, he was too, but he knew it was worse for her, not being used to it. In battle he had grown used to the pain in the stomach, the tickle at the back of the throat that could only be erased with a cold drink of water, the exhaustion that had you debating falling asleep in the middle of a warzone, fuck the consequences, the cold that made you feel as though even your bones were frozen. Any of them were enough to kill a man.

"I know" He repeated, thinking back to being her brother's prisoner, freezing all the time, cold and tired, sleeping in his own shit, in a puddle of mud, never comfortable, never really in a deep sleep. Of the gnawing in his tummy, the utter feeling of hopelessness of being so physically fucked. It was the most demoralising feeling, and he didn't want Sansa to feel it.

If he could protect her from soldiers, he'd protect her from despair, it could kill just as easily, he knew that. He had seen men give up in the cold, fall asleep and never wake up, starve from the inside out, and drop like flies with dry throats. He wouldn't let that happen to them, he couldn't.

They'd survive, they would, it would be hard, but they would. He'd make sure of it.

"We'll go in, hoods up" He said, thankful that they had money left if nothing else. Money was worthless when in the middle of nowhere, gold dragons couldn't magic food out of thin air, silver stags couldn't fill a water skin, but here? He could see a tiny market, here their money had worth. "We'll stock up, it'll be okay"

"Promise?" Sansa shot back immediately, and he turned to her, cupped her face, his thumb brushing over the dark circles under her eyes, and he leant forwards, placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, smiling as she leaned into him, there was a bit of warmth.

"Promise"

The village was smaller than any she'd seen, and that was thankfully to their benefit.

People stared at them, even with their hoods up, her red hair scraped behind the fabric, as common as it was here it was distinctive still. Jaime kept his hood up too, tucked his sword behind the cloak, but still in reach. They were thankful to be so ordinary looking in their dirty cloaks, as people looked away, not interested in commoners.

She almost giggled as she imagined what the people would think if they knew who they were. Would they support her? A daughter of a Tully? Or see the Lannister and hate? Or hand them both over?

She didn't want to know.

And so, they kept their heads down, mouths shut and approached the small market. There couldn't be more than 50 people living here, only a handful of houses, a little market, a couple of wells, a pig pen, and a little patch of food. It was small, but the market had some bits, it wasn't enough to stock up, but it would see them through.

They stuck together, as they bought two more waterskins and filled them to the brim, as they handed over a silver stag for all of their apples, the rest of their bread (one loaf), and some cooked potatoes, still hot but straight into their bags.

They did slurp down two bowls of broth each, Sansa not asking what was in it, but hungry enough not to care. They drank a waterskin each too and felt much refreshed, even as the market hand laughed.

"Get lost?" The woman asked with a smile, a kind smile even and Sansa returned it.

"A bit" Jaime said with a shrug, turning on the charm.

"You ought to look after your wife a bit better" The woman clucked, "She's a pretty thing, make sure you're feeding her"

Jaime laughed at that as Sansa's cheeks went pink and promised he would before handing over another stag for a 2nd blanket and four oatcakes stuffed full of nuts, that would be good for their dinner.

They had practically cleared the market, but the common folk were pleased to have some coin, and so they waved them on their way happy, and without asking questions, which Sansa was happy for, she didn't have the energy to lie.

The market hand did pause them though before they left.

"You should join the Eastern road, it's not the King's but it runs parallel" The market hand said, "Before branching off to the Vale, there an inn, and a village or two, nothing like the Kings Road of course, and in much worse condition, more bandits, but if you keep going here the next village is a four-day walk" She said, and Sansa bit down on her lip, too far.

"Thank you" Jaime offered, and the woman nodded, offered Sansa a smile before returning to her home. Sansa felt nerves flutter in her belly as she turned to Jaime – what did they do?

"We'll join the road" He said, and Sansa nodded, what other choice did they have? They couldn't last in farm country, not when they couldn't stock up on supplies properly, what they had left would last them a day, two if they stretched it but no more, and without rain there'd be no clean water either, they didn't really have a choice.

Still, the idea of the Eastern road was terrifying, not just the bandits but anyone using said road, if it was well known no doubt people would use it to look for them.

"We'll be careful" Jaime said, and he took her hand, which did make her feel better, it always did. "And I can handle bandits"

"I don't want to lose you" Sansa whispered, her nerves near overflowing, as she bit into her lip again, almost drawing blood, "I don't want to go back to King's Landing, I can't"

"Hey" Jaime said then, sensing her impending panic that she could feel fluttering in her chest, "We won't, I promise"

Jaime's promises reassured her, but this time not enough, not when his family was chasing them, determined to drag them back South, to prison, hers and now Jaime's too.

"I'm scared" She admitted, as she looked into Jaime's eyes, the green not reassuring her this time but only reminding her of Cersei, and Joffrey, those she couldn't, wouldn't face again.

She'd rather die first.

"I know" Jaime said, and he pulled her close into a hug, which she relaxed into, even as she trembled a touch. "But I'll protect you"

It wasn't quite enough, but it eased her a touch, and she managed a nod, for what other choice did they have? She didn't want to starve in the middle of a farm anymore than she wanted to be dragged back to Kings Landing. She knew logically they had to join the road, but she still shook as Jaime lead her towards it.

No one can protect me, she thought, because it was true. She trusted Jaime to try, and her hope wasn't completely extinguished, that she'd make it home, back to Robb, Jaime at her side, but it was dimmer, as she imagined horses beating towards them, soldiers holding Lannister banners high.

sooo thoughts?

oooof this journey is A LOT harder, and our bbys are gunna feel it!

I do hope you enjoyed, do lemme know your thoughts, fav/follow for updates

and be reassured, we'll be seeing other places and pov's soon, but this is about the journey!

speak soon