Dipper absently placed a comforting hand on Soos' shoulder. They were sitting on a bench outside the mall's used game store. As it turned out, Mabel's backhanded comment earlier about how Soos couldn't be worse at romance than Dipper was definitely not true. On the other side of Soos, Mabel was saying something, but Dipper wasn't paying attention. He was instead tapping a steady rhythm against his leg, trying to distract himself from the cold pit of dread that had settled into his stomach since they'd left the Shack. He'd first noticed this happening when Stan asked him to go out and chop some firewood. As soon as he'd walked out the door, he'd gotten a horrible feeling that something was going to happen inside the Shack. He'd burst back inside and seen that everything was fine. He'd gone back outside, and the feeling returned immediately.

The worst part of it was that he knew it was just his mind playing tricks on him. When he was at the library and the dump, when he'd been actively investigating, he'd been fine with leaving the Shack. He also knew, logically, that there wasn't anything specific to be worried about with Stan. Yes, he was potentially lying to them about being the Author, but that in itself was not a threat. But the doubts that swirled in his mind every time he laid eyes on Stan whispered about what else he could be lying about. Is he plotting to kill us? Is he going to steal our organs? Is he even our family? All of these things were unlikely, but possible, and those possibilities collapsed into a general feeling that Dipper needed to keep an eye on things. Not necessarily watch Stan 24/7 (and thank goodness for that, because being around Stan was unbearable), but that he needed to be there. Present and ready for whatever Stan might try.

It had made it impossible for him to relax over the last few days, which ruined the point of why Mabel had wanted to take a break in the first place. Just like I said it would, he thought, glancing over at where Mabel was playing with a sticky hand. At least she hadn't been trying to force him to relax, that would've been awful. The most she'd done was suggest it. Mabel looked at him then. She glanced pointedly at his hand tapping away, before offering him a warm smile. He returned it easily, feeling a bit of the dread inside him fade. Nah, scratch that thought. She's been a lot better than just "not awful." Their moment was cut short as Soos gasped.

"Cousin Reggie!" he exclaimed, "I can't let him see me like this! I gotta hide!" Soos ran into the game store. Dipper and Mabel shared a concerned look before running after him. It took a minute or two to find him, and rather than being curled into a ball among the games, like Dipper had expected, Soos was holding a bright pink case. "Virtually improve your dating skills. 9/10 basement dwellers recommend," Soos read aloud.

"Well, I guess you are better at games than you are at flirting," Dipper said, taking the game to look at.

"Anything to get you out there, Soos." Mabel said.

"I'm not sure I'd recommend that game, sir," said a voice from behind them. Turning, they saw that it belonged to the woman behind the counter. "It's the third time someone's returned it, and it has a sticker on it that says 'Destroy at all costs.'"

Dipper's anxiety spiked. "Haunted dating sim? Yeah, no thanks." He made to throw the game back into the box Soos had pulled it from, but Mabel caught his hand.

"Dipper, Soos needs this!" she exclaimed.

"And I don't need a monster on top of everything else going on!" Dipper retorted.

"Dipper, c'mon! Just look at him!" Mabel said. They turned to see Soos trying to flirt with a cardboard cutout. When it fell over, he bemoaned her as dead. "Wow, he really does need this." Mabel said somewhat incredulously.

"On that we agree, but why this dating sim?" Dipper asked, "Surely there are other, non-haunted ones he could practice with?"

"Being haunted probably makes it more realistic, so he'll learn more," Mabel said, "And Soos needs all the help he can get. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

"We all get killed by an evil dating simulator." Dipper said flatly.

"Y'know, you kids took the whole 'haunted' thing surprisingly well in stride," the lady behind the counter interjected.

"We see this kinda stuff all the time," Mabel said casually, "which is why we should get it. I know we can handle it!"

"Just because we probably could handle it doesn't mean I want to." Dipper said sullenly.

"Dipper…" Mabel said with slight admonishment in her voice.

"Oh no," Dipper cut in, "You're not guilting me this time. There is no way we're getting a haunted-hey is Soos doing CPR on that thing?"

Soos was indeed doing CPR on the cardboard cutout, but his chest compressions were just causing her to crumple. "I'm trying to save you, dude, but it's just making things worse!" he cried.

Mabel put a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "For Soos?"

Dipper heaved a sigh. "For Soos."

I really hope I don't regret this.

Mabel hopped in bed that night feeling very refreshed. She'd finally gotten a chance to get out of the house, and even better she'd gotten Dipper out there, too. Sure, maybe it hadn't been as relaxing for him as she'd hoped, but it was something, right? He was certainly a lot less twitchy now, sitting on his bed reading the terminal commands book. And if things work out the way I want, he won't have any choice but to put things down for a while. The thing she'd said earlier about a haunted game being "more realistic" was made up on the spot. The real reason she'd insisted on getting it was that she was hoping for things to go wrong. Right now, Dipper was being haunted by monsters in his mind. She figured that having a monster haunt them in real life would help put things in perspective, and hopefully get him to finally chill out a bit. It would have been ideal to somehow get Stan roped into things, set up a scenario where he could save Dipper's life, but she had to work with what she had.

Despite having absolute confidence in her plan, Mabel felt a bit guilty about lying to Dipper. So, after her nightly routine of kissing all her stuffed animals goodnight, she went over to Dipper's bed and climbed in. Dipper glanced at her. "Uh, Mabel? What are you-"

She cut him off with a hug. "Thanks for coming today, Dipper. I know you were nervous."

He laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, well, y'know," he said, wrapping one arm around her, "it was for Soos. How could I say no to that?"

Mabel grinned mischievously at him. "You tried to, remember?"

Dipper rolled his eyes and pushed her away. "Har de har har." Mabel just laughed and settled back. She could sit here with her brother in peace for a moment. The moment didn't last, though, as Dipper suddenly buried his nose in the book. After a moment, he groaned, "Nooooo, was it that easy all along?"

"Was what that easy?" Mabel asked, leaning forward curiously.

"Monitoring, remember? On the laptop? We didn't know what it was." Dipper explained, pulling the laptop out from under the bed.

"Did you figure it out?" Mabel said as the laptop started up.

"If it's this, I'm gonna be mad," Dipper said as he typed in STANFORD, "First at myself, then whoever decided it was a good idea." He navigated to the Ecimaw folder, then typed in

./Monitoring

As soon as he pressed enter, a new screen loaded, showing the triangle thingy from the startup screen. Dipper pressed his hands over his eyes. "Argh, with old computers, executable files don't need a file extension! Why has nobody ever told me that!"

Mabel, not understanding half of what he said, patted his leg sympathetically while looking at the new screen with interest. The triangle thingy had disappeared, and there was now a textbox that simply said "Device Charging." "What's this all all about?" Mabel asked.

Dipper finally looked at the screen. He frowned for a moment, then his eyes widened. "Device Charging! Oh no!" He pushed the laptop aside, stood up and dug under his bed while chanting, "This is bad, this is bad, this is bad!"

"What's bad?!" Mabel said, rolling off the bed to stand beside him.

He straightened again, the Journal grasped in his hand. He flipped through to a certain page and showed it to her. It had part of a drawing on it, but it looked like…Mabel gasped. "That's the thingy from the startup screen!"

"Yep," Dipper said, "This machine was made by the Author. I've suspected that the laptop was connected to it somehow, but I thought it'd been destroyed. But now that I know it's not just intact, but powering up, well…" He grabbed a blacklight off the windowsill and shined it on the pages.

"'The machine was designed to create knowledge, but it is too powerful. The device, if fully operational, could'" Mabel read aloud, "Well that's vaguely ominous."

Dipper started pacing. "I know, right?! Could what?! Could cause madness?! Could summon demons?! Could destroy the world?! Could-"

"Dipper, breathe!" Mabel said, grabbing him by the shoulders. He took a few, far too quick breaths, before allowing Mabel to sit him down on the floor. He put his head between his knees, still hyperventilating. Mabel could only rub his back soothingly, and remind him about deep breaths. It had been a while since he'd had a panic attack this bad.

After a few minutes, Dipper's breathing had evened out somewhat. He groaned without picking his head up. "I should've prepared for this."

"You can't prepare for everything," Mabel said, sitting next to him.

He turned his head to look at her. "But I could've prepared for this. I knew the laptop was connected to it, I just sort of…hoped it wouldn't be active." He chuckled mirthlessly, "And look what that got me. Even more uncertainty to worry about."

"Hey, we don't know if that sentence ended badly," Mabel tried weakly. "Maybe it says the device could give everyone kittens and ice cream?"

Dipper uncurled from his position. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Yeah, me too." Mabel admitted with a sigh. Even her optimism had limits.

They sat in silence for a moment, before Dipper said, "We have to tell Soos we can't help him anymore."

"What!" Mabel said, "But we promised!"

"This is more important, Mabel," Dipper argued, "The only person who might know what happens when this thing finishes charging, and how to stop it, is McGucket. We have to get his memory back before it finishes charging, or something terrible could happen!"

"You're just being paranoid again," Mabel said insistently, "OK, so maybe that sentence ended badly, but surely it won't be so bad we can't fix it, right?"

"That's the point, Mabel," Dipper said, "We have no idea what that device can do! We have to treat it as an absolute top priority!"

Mabel could feel Operation Make Dipper Relax collapsing around her. C'mon, there's gotta be some argument that will salvage my plan. Wait, my plan! "Well, what about the haunted video game we got for Soos, huh?" she asked, "Are we just gonna leave him high and dry?"

Dipper was silent for a moment. "Somehow, I'd completely forgotten about that. Yeah, that changes things a bit," he said, rubbing his temples. "Gosh, what terrible timing to have taken that gamble!"

Mabel laughed awkwardly. "Ha ha, yeah, pretty bad that we got that going on right now."

"Do you think there's a chance Soos can handle it on his own?"

They both considered it for a moment, before simultaneously saying "No."

"Well, a haunted video game sounds like it would be easier to deal with," Mabel said, secretly relieved. Operation Make Dipper Relax is back on track, baby! "We could start there, maybe even fit getting Soos a date into the schedule, then we all run for McGucket. That sounds like a good plan."

Dipper hesitated. "Actually, Mabel, I was thinking about splitting up. I handle McGucket, you handle Soos."

Mabel blinked in surprise, thoughts grinding to a halt. "But…you can't split up the Mystery Twins. That's like our thing."

"I'm not happy about it either, but this is time sensitive now. This is fastest."

"It's also worstest!" Mabel exclaimed, "I'm not sure I can handle a ghost on my own, and I'm not sure you can get McGucket's memory back on your own either. We work better together, and it's better to do this right than quick."

Dipper elbowed her. "C'mon, I thought you were the optimistic one. Have some faith in us."

Mabel looked at him dejectedly. "I do have faith. In us." She wrapped her arms around her legs. "You and me against the world."

"It's not like it's forever," Dipper said, "Just, think of it as a solo adventure."

"I don't want it to be a solo adventure!" Mabel screamed. "Not when so much is riding on it! The truth about Grunkle Stan, and McGucket, and the laptop, and everything!" Dipper looked shocked at the depth of her emotion. Truthfully, so was Mabel, but she pressed on through the sudden lump in her throat. "This is too important to both of us. I know we can figure it all out, but only if we stick together." She was blinking back tears at this point. "Please, don't make me deal with all this alone."

Dipper hesitated, looking guilty, but then he looked at the laptop. He closed his eyes, took a bracing breath, and said, "I'm sorry, Mabel." Mabel said nothing for a long moment, then she stood up and sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the floor. Dipper rubbed his arm. "Look on the bright side," he said with forced cheer, "If I'm working with McGucket, then you'll have all the time in the world to get Soos a girlfriend! Don't have to 'work it into the schedule' anymore, haha." Mabel simply laid down and resolutely turned her back on her brother. She pulled her blanket over her head and curled up into a ball, sobbing quietly and wishing that the stupid laptop had just stayed broken.

Keyword: Device

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Previous Code: MCGUCKET CAN'T HANDLE THE WORST MEMORIES BEFORE HE GETS THE REST

Notes: There's that drama I promised. We don't quite have the literal ticking clock there was in the main show yet, but we do get a reason for Dipper to drop helping Soos and split up with Mabel, at least for a while. We also finally get the payoff of my hangups with old computers, so that's fun. Also, I really like the joke about Soos doing CPR on a cardboard cutout. That mental image was just too funny not to share.

As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Ratings and reviews are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!