Chapter 20

"White lies"

I woke up with a blanket placed lovingly over me and a note folded up in my hand. I assumed it was from Niko. I hastily opened it up to read the contents.

Dobro jutro, moja slatka ljubav. (Good morning my one sweet love); I hope you slept well without me to be there to kiss you awake. Karen and I have to leave early this morning to inform her contacts what had happened. It could be used in my case for an innocent verdict. The information about Jed attacking us could benefit us. I will let you know later what I mean. We will be home hopefully soon so I can snuggle myself into those loving arms that I already miss.

Your loving soulmate:

Niko

I wondered what time he woke up in order to talk to her employers. I also wondered how a murder can benefit us? What kind of people would use a life like that to gain advantage? I assumed Niko and Karen only understood how to work it, so Niko could avoid prison.

My brother was enjoying a bowl of cereal and a cup of orange juice in the fancy dinette. I walked to him to start my many questions.

"Did you see Niko and Karen this morning?" I sat across from him.

"Nope. I woke up like an hour before you. Karen gave me some cash and I bought some stuff for breakfast."

"Okay. Cool." I say uninterested in what she did. "Did she happen to tell you what was going on today?"

"Only that they were going back up to the agency to chat."

"That's all?"

"Yep. I suppose it is about what happened yesterday. That guy did work at that place. What did Niko tell you?"

"He just left this note telling me where they were going and that he'd explain later when they got back. He didn't say how long it would be."

"Well, it seems like they are off on an adventure without us again."

"I guess so." My heart felt heavy. I miss him again.

"He'll be back with good news. I'm willing to bet that."

"He asked me something that scared me yesterday after we had sex."

I paused to allow him to guess.

"Did he ask you if you were pregnant?"

I choked on air at his question.

"What the Hell?!" I caughed.

"Honestly. You two have sex all the time without condoms. Unless he withdraws."

"Yes, you dumbass!"

"He must have had a lot of practice."

"Can we get back on topic please?"

He laughed hard at my embarrassment. He continued to eat after he calmed down.

"What did he ask you? I give up."

"He asked me to marry him. Then he told me to forget he asked. Should I tell him no or yes?"

"Don't give him an answer. It's best to leave a question like that hanging in the air for a while."

"But if I don't answer him, he might get hurt still."

"Listen to me. If you say yes, and you're not ready, you'll only lead him onto nowhere. If you say no, you'll hurt him. It's best to let that question fade away."

"He told me to forget it because it was in the moment. I guess he was caught up in heavy strong emotions."

"If he said to forget it, then forget it. You're overthinking it. That's always been your problem."

"If you say so, I will. I just hope he doesn't think I don't love him. Because I do. I really do."

"Okay, and it seems like that's good enough for him for now. Just forget he asked."

He got up from the table and fixed me some cereal and poured some orange juice. I thanked him full heartedly as he dismissed himself to take a shower.

I was left alone in the dinette to think of Niko and I happily married. An ear to ear grin on Niko as he was truly happy and free. Roman standing next to his cousin being the best man, and Mallorie being one of the bridesmaids. I think I'll have to choose my friend, Brittany as bride of honor. Thinking of her led me to text her to let her know how I am.

Hey, so. What's up? Sorry I completely blew you off. It's just that I decided to give this guy a chance. And I am really glad I did. He's really sweet. Someday you'll get to meet him.

Her reply was immediate.

Where the Hell have you been? I haven't heard from you in a long time! I thought you were in trouble!

No. I'm okay. Like I said, I got caught up in this relationship. I'm sorry.

She didn't reply, but she decided to call me.

"Where are you? Are you safe?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Why do you think I am in danger?"

"Maybe because you've been ignoring my calls and texts! I thought that guy had you captured!"

I pulled my notification bar and there were dozens of calls and texts. I guess I was blinded by Niko and the life he has.

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have cast you aside. Forgive me?"

"I will once I know where you are. I want to meet this guy."

"Not right now. He's...at work. I am staying at his... apartment for a while."

"Where is his apartment?"

Shit. Now I gotta lie to my best friend. Or I won't tell her.

"I can't tell you."

"Why? Is he threatening you? Is he abusing you mentally? Physically? Why can't you tell me?"

"It's difficult and you wouldn't understand."

"I am a smart girl, Sharon. I'll find out somehow."

"I...wouldn't waste your time."

"I'm calling the police!"

Fuck!

"No! Don't do that! I beg you. He's not abusing me at all. I am safe."

She held her speech as to why I shouldn't be with him as mysterious as he sounds to her.

"I gotta go, Britt. Talk to you later."

Before she could say otherwise, I hang up on her.

That was stupid. My brain mocked.

My brother came out of the bathroom and could sense the disparity. He sat down where he sat before and watched my hands shake as they held my phone.

"What happened?"

"I might have screwed Niko."

"You are realizing this all of a sudden now?"

"Not like that, you idiot!"

"What do you mean? What did you do?"

"I texted my friend and she seems to think Niko has me held captured against my will. She asked where I was and where Niko was. I told her he was at work and I am at his apartment. When she asked me where his apartment was, I didn't tell her where. So, she thinks I am tied up or something. She said she is calling the police, and I begged her not to."

"Do you think she will?"

"Who knows! I know she cares about me and my saftey, but I begged her to not call and I assured her I was safe."

"Let's just wait for Niko to get back. You gotta tell him what happened."

"Oh my God! I can't! I can't tell him that I screwed up his plans!"

"You have to. Otherwise, he'll find out when he's being arrested."

I started to shake again. I can't find the nerve to tell him what happened. The next hours flew by full with my worry and tears. Niko and Karen came home around 4 pm. He wore a huge smile as he approached me and I thought I was about to wipe it off with what I did. I started to cry and fell to my knees. He ran the rest of the way and held me close.

"Hey! What's this? What happened?"

"I'm sorry, Niko! I'm sorry!" I sobbed into his shoulder.

He held me tighter and placed the palm of his hand on the back of my head.

"What happened?" He asked as he placed his head against mine

"I fucked up big time. My fuck up could cost you! I'm such a fucking idiot!" I attacked myself.

"Come on, no you're not."

"You won't say that again when I tell you."

"Tell me."

I hyperventilated as I shook uncontrollably in his embrace. He pulled me away and placed his hands on my shoulders to try to get me to stop. His eyes locked onto mine drawing the truth from me.

"Niko, I am so sorry. I texted my best friend to tell her how I was doing. She seems to think you have me kidnapped and I am in danger. She called me and she said she is going to call the police to find you. They are gunna find you, Niko. I'm sorry!" More tears formed in my eyes.

"They aren't going to find me. We're protected, remember?"

"They won't find us?" I looked through my tears at him full of hope. For four hours I was dreading that I single handedly sabotaged this mission and come to find out that it was nothing of the sort.

"If you told your friend where I lived, the police would be lead to my apartment. We aren't there, are we?" He talked slowly and simply. He seemed to understand that I was an exhausted mess and my brain was incapable of thinking things too deeply. It wasn't insulting to me at all. In fact, I was glad he was using patience with me.

"So, the police arrive at an empty apartment and the trail goes cold. Would it make your friend feel better if I talked to her?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea. She's smart and she'd get enough information out of you. She'll back you into a corner where all you have is to tell the truth."

"Geez, does she work for the police department? Sounds like she's good at getting people to talk."

"No. She worked with me. She's really nice. She's not a bully. She is just really worried about me. I noticed I haven't responded to any of her calls and texts, and she thinks I am tied up somewhere."

"I didn't think you'd be into that." He winked.

I held my voice and laughter. Can't he take anything serious?

"So, I didn't screw with your plans?"

"Not at all. And I have good news for the both of us."

I smiled widly at him, waiting for him to spill it.

"Tell me! What did they say?"

"Let me start with what was arranged between Karen and myself. We are going to use Jed's death to my advantage. Each murder I have done was in self defense, which has some truth. Jed's death was the one case that sealed the deal. He wanted to kill me yesterday. Karen has him on tape saying it. It could be used in those other cases that I was threatened, so I killed in self defense. The police commissioner can say that he paid me to kill those men, but the money was paid under the table and therefore it is untraceable. It would be a concrete story in the eyes of the court. They could throw my case out and that would put things in motion to get my citizenship papers. We are so close! I can't wait!" He was shaking me a little, displaying his excitement.

It made sense to him, but it made no sense to me. I guess if he came back happy from the results, it was a good meeting.

"So, when is the court date?"

"They gotta find a judge and juries to oversee the case. It could take a few days to assemble. Plus they need to find evidence for and against me. They gotta get a summons for McReary."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little. The court trial could last months for all I know, or it could be a short trial because there hardly is any evidence against me."

"So, are you lying to the court?"

He sealed his mouth shut. I didn't like the idea that he has to lie to people to get his citizenship.

"I thought you'd be excited for me."

"I am. But if you have to lie to the court, that makes it no better."

"Okay, wait a minute. When your friend asks you if she looks okay in a dress when you know in your mind that she looks horrible, do you tell her that, or do you tell her that she looks good? It's a white lie."

"That's totally different, Niko! I'm not okay with this!"

He shook his head visably disappointed in my choice not to side with him.

"What do we do now? I need you with me on this, and I can't do this when you're not supporting me. I thought you said you love me. No matter what I did, no matter what I am doing."

"It doesn't feel right."

"These men I have killed, they were destined to spend the rest of their lives in jail or to be put to death. I was only helping out the system by doing the one thing I was good at. The one thing I could do to survive here in America. Now I find that later on in my life that my girlfriend has a pang of guilt. Typical!" He paced back and forth in front of me while I remained still.

"I'm sorry, Niko. I can't. It's not right."

He huffed in disbelief. "I suppose you're going to turn me in, then? Do your good deed to make you feel better?" He challenged. "Or maybe I should turn you in? You killed two guys in a month. That's as good as me when I came to America. Maybe the judge will give me my citizenship when I turn you in?"

His words hurt me like a razor blade cutting deep inside my heart. He hurt me bad this time. I wailed out at him and punched him as he stood there.

"I'm sick of your bullshit!" I tried to stop myself from saying more that could damage us further.

"Leave!" He pointed to the door and I shoved him out of my way. He actually stumbled backwards from my strength.

I slammed the door behind me and I ran in a nowhere direction. My cries alarmed pedestrians, but they all never came to my aid. My phone rang and I saw it was my brother. I ignored him as I walked in pain around the condominiums. I found a local park and sat on a bench. I cried into my sleeve and I didn't care who saw me. My brother tried to call me again. I turned my phone off to have silence. I held by my morals. Niko said it was the commissioner who lied, but that wasn't the truth. Then Niko was going to lie about being paid to kill those men. He was going to tell the court it was all in self defense. It started to make more sense in my head as I replayed what he said. And the more I heard it in my head, the more enraged I became.

It was around 10 pm when I decided it was time for me to return back to the condo. My brother was anxiously waiting outside for me to come back. He ran through the street when he saw me coming back home. His hug made me feel good because I knew I was missed by atleast one person out of the four of us. Karen I was sure she could care less. Niko I was sure he was still being an asshole.

"She's back!" He called inside the condo.

Karen was in bed, and Niko was a drunken mess. He had atleast eight or nine beers in front of him, that bottle of vodka that I bought him for his birthday, and the kitchen trash can by his side with his vomit in it. He was drinking himself into oblivion, and I was sure he was unconscious. He had his head down on the table with both of his arms dangling down from either side. Yep. He was unconscious.

I walked to him to try to bring him back to the land of the living. He twitched in his deep sleep and I saw an empty tissue box. He'd been crying at my absence. I felt sorry for him, sort of. Only because we didn't talk it out like couples facing a difficulty and a difference of opinion do. Instead, we didn't want to hear what the other had to say or to hear alternatives. I petted his head trying to get him to regain consciousness again.

"You didn't try and stop him from doing this to himself?" I demanded.

"I wasn't about to confront an Army veteran. He was beyond mad when he started drinking. He was punching shit and throwing shit. There wasn't any way I could calm him down anyway!"

"Okay. Geez." I bent down to Niko and put my lips by his ear. "I know it hurts, Niko. Let's talk."

He made no movements and I decide to have my brother help me get him into bed. I grabbed his upper half and my brother took his ankles. He was as limp as a corpse as we clumsily made it to the bedroom. We managed to get him on the bed, and still, he remained unconscious. He'd have one massive hang over in the morning.

I take myself to the shower to wash off the sour day. I felt better once I was clean. I throw on a tank top and a pair of sweat pants and crawl in bed with Niko. Before I did, I thought it was a good idea to get the shirt he had on off. It was covered in vomit. I take his shoes off in hopes that I was making him more comfortable. I was sure I was expected to bend a little in my morality as well as he was expected to in order for the both of us to be happy with this plan. Karen had her work cut out for her.