You know, when you imagine being reborn or getting self inserted into a fandom. You always imagine being a cool character, the main character, a cool badass side character, or Heck even being the villain. Never, not once did I think I would end up being reborn AS FUCKING JAR JAR BINKS! Like come the fuck on. Jar Jar really. I couldn't have been Obi-wan, or Anakin or Yoda or even a clone?! I had to get fucking Jar Jar Binks….Jar Jar Binks… The idiotic character that helped win one of the first battles against the separatist, during the invasion of Naboo. Wait, I forgot that he did that by accident. God fucking damn it. Couldn't I have been a clone?! Rex was a badass! He defied order 66 bitches! But you take what you get I guess.

You know what, I remember reading a reddit post back on earth about how Jar Jar was a secret Sith. Too bad the movies fucked up what would've been an awesome storyline. Fucking Disney. Still I wonder if Jar Jar was really a Sith. That wouldn't be so bad. Also why couldn't have I just taken over his body at a later time in his life, but once again who ever did this has a fucking sense of humor. I am stuck in baby Jar Jar. If I'm in a baby's body how do I know I'm Jar-jar, whelp have two strange looking creatures talking in a language I somehow understand saying my name is Jar Jar Binks. This is going to be a long few years. I think I got until 32 BBY, that's when the Naboo invasion happened.

Fuck how old was Jar Jar. Ugh… I'll figure that out later. I mean I think I have a few years to plan.

So either I'm not the Jar Jar from the movies or that reddit post might be onto something here. As it turns out I was born during the height of the old Republic or I guess this is still the Republic right now. Guess playing those Darth Revan games and reading wiki posts and buying all those star wars books are about to pay off. Que the evil laugh. If my math is correct I'm about a few hundred years or so before the movies start. That gives me enough time to learn the force if I'm force sensitive, make a new body and maybe just maybe fuck with the cannon for a bit. Who knows might just plan shit out until that Kylo Rey shit and then boom I'm here bitches!

Man that would be fun, the emperor would be like 'Unlimited power!'. Then I would come in and be like 'nah bitch.'

Now you might be wondering why my mind is going from one thought to the other. I can't really explain. Might have something to do with having a baby brain? Don't really know at this point. All I can do is take in information and make rough plans and outlines.

Things I have found out so far, absolutely nothing. I believe I was born some time in between 3900 BBY or 3899 BBY, according to the wiki, when some human colonization ships landed on Naboo. If this is canon then i have a few hundred years to master sith alchemy and live forever, if this is the Legends timeline though. Then we have a problem.

OK, it's been about 4 months now and I still don't know shit. But good news: I can talk and move on my own now. Yay for being a baby. God I swear on the force that someone is fucking with me.

Slowly growing and not being able to do anything sucks ass. All I can do is plan. From what I remember, Revan was born some time during 3394 BBY, and was sealed away during 3950 BBY. If I remember correctly he escapes at 3642 BBY. So I have roughly 258 years of planning and not having to deal with a titular character.

Things on the to do list are as follows.

Find out if I'm force sensitive. If not force sensitive then find some way to steal a force sensitive body. Or build one.

If force sensitive, start learning, do not get discovered by the Jedi yet.

Find some way to get to Korriban, it's where the good stuff is.

Then find some way to gain the powers of a Bedlam spirit or a Force wielder.

Those are the overarching steps to my plan. I need power and a way to live forever. I suppose cryo sleep is a thing in this universe somewhere, but that just feels like the easy way out.

On a side note, there's bound to be some smoking hot Jedi and Sith around these 258 years. Maybe I can go the full evil SI route and make myself a harem. That wouldn't be too bad. Also if I somehow end up living forever, I can put in some time to learn how to universe hop, ohhhh the possibilities. But first I need power, and a way to make sure I don't die.

So new update, it's been about 5 Naboo years, the new settlers are taking over parts of the land, while the Gungans are still living under water in their cities. The good news is that it turns out that the Gungans actually have a fucking great library. Bad news is that this universe seems to be a mish-mash of cannon and legend timelines. Revan was born about 94 years ago, and is currently sealed by the emperor. Oh yeah, since we're in the fucking Legends timeline, it the fucking republic vs the Sith empire. Force fucking damn it. This is getting hard to fucking track, but the other good news, is that this body is force sensitive, also turns out that some Gungans have great, and I do mean fucking great memories. That's the only way I could remember and write down all this timeline shit, as to how this works I don't know. Also writing all of this in English so some fucking idiot doesn't read this and starts fucking up my plans.

Ok, so it's pretty easy to get off the planet right now, but the bad news is that I'm in republic space, and Korriban is in Sith space. Not to mention the huts are about to start their shit. Fucking damn it. Unsure of how I can get to Korriban without being noticed by the Jedi or the Sith. I just have to play the waiting game. It also doesn't help that this body is only five to six years old.

It's been a year since anything major happened, the humanoids are still having issues with the Gungans, but things seem to be calming down…..For now.

Fucking finally old enough to wonder the planet by myself. Current plan is to find a ship, somehow get the fuck to Korriban, find as many holocons as i can and then get back to Naboo to learn and experiment.

All in all, no rush.

Just have to figure out where the fuck is Korriban.

Had this idea for a few years now, finally had time to write it down. Either this or Round 2 will be update next.

Please read and review.

S95N out!