Cody rolled over in his bunk and curled up on his side. After a few restless minutes, he flipped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Times like this he was very grateful for the privacy his officer's quarters allotted him. His tossing and turning would undoubtedly keep his vode awake. But, then again, the soft gentle snores and shuffling of troopers in their sleep was sometimes just the thing a clone needed. He missed it sometimes and wondered what his life would've been like if he hadn't been selected by the Kaminoans to be a field fekkin' marshall.

Did mechanics sleep better at night? He briefly envisioned his life doing maintenance and repair for tactical and armored vehicles. He could spend his days covered in grease versus covered in flimsi work.

He pushed out a long sigh and gave up on sleep. During the day, he could keep his thoughts at bay by pushing himself relentlessly and not allowing himself time to think.

But, the nights were different.

He'd had so many sleepless nights lately…

… since Rex had been sent away and he'd lost his closest vod. (Losing Rex had nearly broken him.)

... since he'd led his command into a minefield. (The mental anguish combined with the spinal injury had broken him.)

... since he'd shared a living space with Barriss Offee. (Barriss hadn't given up on him. Ever.)

... since he'd decided to break all the rules and go after General Kenobi and the 212th. (He understood why he'd been punished for his actions. He'd broken rules. But, he didn't understand why rescuing the Legions hadn't been a higher priority.)

... since he discovered Rex was alive and commanding renegade clones. (Rex had lived a life outside the GAR, something previously thought impossible for clones. There was so much more he wanted to ask Rex, but they'd agreed not to discuss it.)

During the early years of his life, the Kaminoans dictated every aspect of his life. His flash training told him what to think and what to believe. There was a certain simplicity to all of it.

His trainers then shaped his views telling him the role of the clones in the greater galactic order. Clones were bred to be soldiers and to serve the Jedi. The Jedi were infallible and would tell them what to do once they left Kamino.

Clones were created to fight and die for the Republic.

Duty. Honor. Republic.

It was an honor to die for the Republic.

It was a clone's duty to do so.

Cody wasn't at the first Battle of Geonosis. He was undergoing additional command clone training under Alpha-17. He remembers the frustration they all experienced as reports of enormous troop casualties during the battle.

Alpha looked at his command recruits. "Sometimes it will be hard to be the one that survives, but get used to it. Your other choice is dying and you can do your brothers more good if you're alive. Don't waste all this training I've given you by getting your sorry asses killed."

His men fought and died every day for the Republic, sometimes in vast, crushing unfathomable numbers.

Alpha was right. It was hard to be the one that survives.

Increasingly, he was questioning where all of this was going. He didn't want to question the Republic and those who were leading it. But, he'd seen too much to blindly believe in the judgment of the leadership anymore. He trusted individuals, like General Kenobi, but not the decision-making ability of the GAR Command who had left thousands of troopers to flounder in enemy captivity for two months.

How could he send his brothers out to die if he wasn't sure he believed in this Republic anymore? GAR command had left thousands of troopers to flounder in enemy captivity for two months. No. If there hadn't been Jedi with them, there likely wouldn't have been an attempt to rescue them at all. Cody and Rex were convinced the lost legions had been written off as unrecoverable battle losses. Their ships and barracks had already been reassigned. How could they value a Republic that valued them so little in return?

What if there was some truth to what the Separatists were saying? There was something wrong with the Republic. Maybe it was time for a change.

Cody hated himself for even having these thoughts and doubts, but he couldn't stop them from plaguing him again and again.

What would happen to all of them when the war was over? There was increasing talk of the war "being over" if the Outer Rim sieges succeeded. But, what would happen to the clone army when there was no war to fight? Would they be frozen until they were needed again? Sold off to work in the mines? Or, treated as "unwanted assets" by the Kaminoans and marked for "disposal?"

They were the creation of the Kaminoans and contracted by the Jedi. It was still unclear to Cody who had final jurisdiction over the fate of the clones. The Kaminoans were not going to "set them free" after the war. This was not their way. They were a profit-driven race. And, while individual Jedi, like Kenobi, pushed for the rights of clones, the Jedi Council as a whole didn't seem inclined to put the interest of clones first.

The only ones who had much interest in the fate and future of the clones were the clones themselves.

But, what did that mean? They were supposed to follow orders. An army was useless if the command structure broke down. As Alpha had emphasized to them time and again, it was chaos otherwise. Troopers needed to follow orders whether they agreed with them or not. (He was surprised he hadn't received a call yet from Alpha ripping him a new one for everything he and Rex had pulled to rescue their men.)

After staring at the ceiling for a few more minutes, he gave up on sleep. He ignored his body's complaints of exhaustion and the ever-present headache squeezing his skull.

A strong cup of caf (or two or three) would sort him out. (Maybe a stim. Or two.)

He rinsed off in his shower, opting to use the hydro setting. He carefully stretched out his neck, using the series of exercises he'd practiced repeatedly with Barriss. The showers were supposed to shut off after two minutes. But, Cody had asked Trapper to rewire the unit in his quarters. Not surprisingly, Trap had completed the task in minutes and then asked if there was anything else he could rewire.

Trapper's talents were almost wasted as an ARF trooper. He could be an ARC, Cody mused, pushing the thought aside for now. He never sent any of his troopers back for additional training. There was never enough time for it.

He sighed as the tension came out of his neck and some of the stiffness left. He intentionally pushed away thoughts of Barriss. It only ever left him frustrated. He kept his memories of Barriss sealed away in a tight box in his brain and refused to open it.

Whatever had happened between them was in the past.

He dressed quickly in a fresh set of blacks, scaped the stubble off his chin, and suited up to head over to the Resolute. He considered sending a comm ahead to the flight deck to let them know he was leaving earlier than his scheduled 0630 departure time. But, decided again it. A surprise inspection of the night crew never hurt.

The troopers snapped to attention when he arrived on deck. His gaze swept over the troopers, taking in every detail. A sabaac game, set up on top of a fuel drum, was tossed over and shoved out of sight.

Cody shoved his bucket on to hide his expression of amusement. "At ease."

Evo, his designated LAAT pilot, grabbed his helmet and hustled to Cody's side. "Eh, Commander, sir, you're early. We weren't expecting you until-"

"I'm heading over early." He turned to address the troopers behind him, trying to shield the evidence of their sabaac game with their bodies.

"Hotshot," Cody called back to the pilot standing to the left of the fuel drum, "you should've finished your move. You were about to win."

The assembled deck crew and pilots burst into laughter.

Hotshot saluted. "Noted, sir! Enjoy your day of meetings."

Cody shook his head at the pilot's cheeky reply. Any trooper who'd served with Cody for any length of time knew how much he dreaded long procedural meetings.

He sat up front in the shuttle with Evo on the way over, enjoying the distraction of small talk with his trusted pilot. There was new closeness to the 212th since they'd returned from Darkknell. If something good had come from the hellish Battle of Kaz'haria and all that transpired in the following two months, it was this new bond between all of the surviving brothers. (He refused to spoil the moment by thinking about the new troopers. The odd shinies they'd taken aboard the previous week.) Evo was considering a new tattoo and was torn between two different designs.

"Put one on your armor and the other on your body. I'll get a bit more paint sent over to your squad so you can all touch up your armor."

"Thank you, sir!" Evo's eyes lit up with excitement, even as he kept his focus on his flying. Evo was an outstanding pilot. There was a break in their conversation while Evo conversed with the Resolute flight deck and received landing clearance. "Sir... I've been wanting to ask you something... actually the request is from my whole squad." The pilot set the shuttle down so smoothly Cody barely felt the landing. "It is about painting, actually."

"Go on," Cody prompted, "you've saved my shebs in battle enough times I can look the other way if you're wanting to change the nose art on this shuttle without Kenobi's-"

"Oh no, sir!" Evo interrupted, and then winced for interrupting. "I mean, we wouldn't do anything like that without the proper permissions. We know all the artwork has to be run through proper channels before it goes on the ships." Ever since a 501st squad took it upon themselves to paint a sexy senator on their ship, the Open Fleet had a new policy with regards to ship art. "No, it's... eh..." he blew out a breath, and then glanced at Cody's armor. "The sunburst. It's your symbol on your armor. But, Amber Squad was wondering if we could..." he hesitated again before blurting it out, "paint your symbol on our armor?"

Cody stared at him stunned, trying to process the request.

Evo started talking faster, trying to explain. "Ever since you rescued us from the dungeons, all of us... we looked up to you before, but now it's different. You're everything to us now, sir, and we want to honor you with our armor."

Cody's sleep-deprived brain was still trying to make sense of Evo's words. "I'd be honored," he finally managed, dipping his head toward Evo.

Evo tugged his helmet off and grinned broadly. "Thank you, sir! I'll let my squad know." He reached over and grabbed the commander in a bone-crushing hug, then stopped.

Cody froze, surprised by the spontaneous display of affection.

"I'm so sorry!" Evo said, his eyes wide and pulling back. "I shouldn't have done that. In my squad, we're very close and-"

Cody laughed and reached over and thumbed Evo on his armored back. "It's no problem, Evo. You just caught me by surprise is all." He gave the pilot a teasing look to smooth away the last of his discomfort. "Does this make me an honorary member of Amber Squad now?"

Evo's eyes widened as he considered the idea. "Yes!"

He rose to leave, stopping at the shuttle exit to glance back at the pilot. "It's been good talking to you, Evo."

"Likewise, sir!" Evo said, with his great enthusiasm. "Comm me when you're ready to return." He quickly pulled something from his belt pouch and tossed it to Cody.

Cody looked down to find a carefully wrapped sweet roll. Desserts were starting to pop up once in a while now in the mess rotation. Rumor had it someone had reprogrammed a serving droid. But, the few desserts produced were still a high luxury item aboard the cruiser. Cody accepted the precious gift with a tilt of his chin.

Disembarking, he glanced down at his chrono and grimaced. It was only 0350. He was over three hours early for his 0700 meeting. Maybe he could grab a cup of caf and then-

"Deck officer told me you were on board," Rex said, intercepting him in the corridor with two steaming cups of caf in hand.

"You're the greatest fekkin' brother ever," Cody sighed, deeply inhaling the bitter brew.

"Don't ever forget it," Rex studied his brother. "You look tired. Have you been sleeping?"

"Says the brother up at 0350," Cody snorted. After a long moment, he pushed out a long sigh and admitted: "Not much. A lot on my mind, I guess."

"That's fair," Rex conceded. They walked in silence for a bit, sipping their caf, enjoying the quiet of the ship in the early morning hours. "I was going to check in on my medics."

Cody glanced over at him and cocked up an eyebrow.

"I'll explain later," Rex promised. He checked his chrono and pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Although,it's still early. I should give them more time to finish up. Come on, I want to show you something."

# # #

"What is this place?" Cody asked, gazing out curiously at the expansive views of the nebula.

"The ship's schematics have it marked as a Jedi training room. But, Skywalker refers to it as a meditation space."

"I don't follow. Why are we here?"

"Skywalker thought it would be useful if I mastered meditation. Of course, he delegated the task."

"To Commander Tano," Cody guessed.

Rex nodded.

Cody cocked up an eyebrow. "So, you're alone in here with Commander Tano. How often does this occur?"

"Every evening," Rex said with a shrug, and he cast his brother a stern look, "our practice sessions are strictly professional. I have no desire for Skywalker to skewer me with his lightsaber."

"I'm more picturing him beheading you. That's more of a Jedi thing."

"Nice."

"Still doesn't explain why we're here, though."

Rex didn't answer. He sank down to a cross-legged position and closed his eyes, hands resting comfortably in his lap.

After a long moment of staring at him, Cody followed suit.

"Meditation calms the mind," Rex's voice assumed a tone Cody had rarely heard from him before. "But, it is a learned skill and must be practiced. It took us years to gain the proficiency we have across all manner of weapons-"

"Maybe it took you years-"

"Focus, Cody," Rex admonished. "One needs to practice meditation daily in order to keep their thoughts calm. And, close your eyes again."

"You sound like a Jedi," Cody grumbled. "And, how did you know-"

"Cody," Rex admonished gently, "close them. It might be a Jedi practice, but the practice is also useful for clones, particularly those of us in command. If I don't quiet my mind, I can't sleep at night."

Cody opened his eyes again and stared at Rex. "Yeah… that's kind of exactly what's keeping me awake… I can't stop thinking… about everything."

Rex responded without opening his eyes. "There is a lot about our lives we can't control. But, we can control how we respond to what happens to us. Close your eyes, Cody. We're going to start with a breathing exercise. This is a good one for calming your mind."

Cody listened as Rex coached him through several minutes of deep, calming breathing. His eyes closed on their own. His brother's voice was soothing and the simple act of breathing cleared his head so effectively he didn't even remember drifting off to sleep.

He awoke to the soft sounds of Rex suiting up again. "I'm headed to the aux medbay to check on the medics. You can stay here if you want to meditate more."

Translation: you can nap until our 0700 meeting.

"No, I'm good. I'll join you." He reached for his plates and started clipping them on, adding half of them on while he was still seated. He yawned hugely and ran a hand through his hair. "There might be something to this Jedi stuff."

Rex chuckled. "Yeah. It just might catch on." He reached a hand down and tugged Cody to his feet. "Come on, we can swing by the mess on the way and grab some more caf."

"Ah, now that clears my mind," Cody said with enthusiasm.

Rex 'hmmped' with amusement.

Cody reached into his belt pouch for the sweet roll, tore it half and handed the larger piece to Rex. They grabbed two cups of caf from the nearly empty mess hall and then headed toward the aux medbay.

Rex finished off his sweet roll, licking the last off the sugary bits off his fingers before his expression turned serious again. "The medics are working on a special project. The Wolfpack is involved, too. They've all been pulling extra shifts to make headway on it."

Cody's eyes narrowed. "What sort of special project? Why is this the first I'm hearing of it?"

"You were a bit out of the loop with… " Rex made a vague gesture with his free hand toward Cody's chest and the blaster mark he hadn't been able to fully scour out of his armor.

"Just because I was out on medical didn't mean you had to keep things from me, Rex."

"This may be a lot to take in, Cody. Try to keep an open mind. You may not like all of what I'm about to tell you."

# # #

Cody stopped Rex outside the auxiliary medical bay. "You and Wolffe have been running around doing investigations on your own? Without authorization?"

Rex pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "You see? That voice you're using. This is exactly why I had to approach you at the right time. Although, I'm not sure there would ever be a right time."

"I am using this voice because you are going against regulations," Cody said sharply, glancing up and down the hallway to ensure they were alone. "After we were both nearly court-martialed, I thought you would know better!"

Rex leaned into Cody, not backing down in the least. "We can't go through official channels on this one. We don't know who is involved. I'm more concerned about our vode than some fekkin' court-martial. I thought you would be, too, especially after what we did at Darkknell-"

# # #

"Trigger the chips?" Echo stared at his brother. "What do you mean by trigger them?"

"We know they're designed to inhibit certain behaviors," Fives responded. "We figure out what behavior, or behaviors, that is and-"

Sly interrupted, shaking his head. "You're missing a key component here, Fives. These chips are behavior modification chips. The Kaminoans are the ones who coined the phrase 'inhibitor chips,' but based on their location in the brain and the design of the chips, they can do more than just inhibit."

Fives raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Like mind control? You give me one example of a mind-controlled clone-" He halted himself mid-sentence and tilted his head to the side listening intently.

Echo opened his mouth to speak, but Fives put up a finger to silence him. "Hold that thought," Fives said, opening the medbay door to Captain Rex and Commander Cody in the midst of their own heated debate. No. This was more than a debate. The two command clones were arguing.

He gazed at the two command clones with an upraised eyebrow. "As entertaining as this is to listen to you two argue, we have a lot to update you on and not a lot of time." He dipped his chin and gestured for both of them to enter the medbay.

The commander was not in a good mood. He glared at Rex, and then stared at Fives, before examining each of the assembled medics. His voice was tight and clipped: "Report. What is it you are working on that is so important? This better be good."

# # #
A/N: revised 1/5/2021. I shortened Cody's remembrance about Barriss and made his scene in the shower more PG-rated. Picturing Cody in the shower is good enough. I lengthened the dialogue between Cody and the pilots, especially Evo, to show more of his relationship with the men under his command.