Merlin sat in his office, face in his hands and was thinking pretty hard, it was making his head hurt. The reason he was thinking so hard was because he was trying to think of anything else rather than what he was just thinking of. Intrusive thoughts, they were real and they were horrible. It was annoying, Merlin had only sat down to look at possible tour documents his manger had sent him, but instead his head was off in space...he wished it was space anyway, in truth his thoughts were seven miles west of his office, on the whole freaking Pendragon family, why did they have to ruin his day when he wasn't even around them? Really, the nerve. But the dinner he had with them the other day was odd. Well, some parts were odd, some were completely normal. The normal parts were Morgana constantly trying to mend their brokenness, while Leon was just there, bless him, and while his mother looked guilty for the shitty decisions she had made toward Merlin, Uther just genuinely hated Merlin's very being, all that stuff was normal. Even the food was normal, a little better because it hadn't been his mother's cooking, but still normal. The part that wasn't normal was the fact that Arthur was not there, not that Merlin wasn't thanking every lucky star that ever graced the Earth with it's presence, but even Uther had said it while he grumbled that Merlin was there "queering up" his dining room, that Arthur never misses these family dinners. He had also not come to Morgana's engagement party, under the pretense that he was watching his son, whom probably could have been watched by someone else. So, what gave? Why was a prevalent member of this family missing all of these events? Merlin was starting to think it was because he was avoiding Merlin, almost as much as Merlin was avoiding him. Probably even more, because even with these threats of seeing him, Merlin was still going. It was sad to think Merlin loved Morgana, Arthur's literal blood, more than he did. But why? Why was Arthur avoiding him? Wasn't it Arthur who broke Merlin's heart? Wasn't it Arthur, an actual adult, who allowed them into the situation they had found themselves in? Wasn't it Merlin who had been manipulated and played with? Or, did Arthur forget all that? Was he just too ashamed to see Merlin after all this? Somehow Merlin doubted it. It, more than anything else, was a victim thing. Oh...poor Arthur. Merlin rolled his eyes. It was Merlin who carried the weight of what happened into his relationships, he didn't trust anyone for a long time thanks to the Pendragon's, all of them...except Morgana. He had said it before yes, but she was the only good thing about that family.

"Oh no, I hate when you got that face on," Merlin heard a voice and looked up to see Gwaine entering the room. Merlin frowned. "Why do you look so glum, Chum?"

Merlin sighed, "I was thinking."

"Never a good sign..."

Merlin rolled his eyes for the second time. "I think Arthur is avoiding me."

Gwaine laughed. "Isn't that what you want? Didn't you say you'd rather be hit by a truck than see him?"

"Well...yes."

"And you're complaining about...not seeing him?"

"No, I'm happy about that," Merlin affirmed, Gawaine laughed again, and nodded once, maybe to say he didn't believe Merlin, maybe to say he did, Merlin wasn't sure. "I just think it's fishy."

"Listen, he's allowed to have trauma from the situation just as much as you. Even if it was his fault," said Gwaine quickly, knowing full well Merlin would protest to this. "I don't think you'll avoid each other forever, 'specially not if you do go to that wedding, so might as well just get it over with and talk."

"I'm never talking to him," said Merlin and Gwaine rolled his eyes this time. "I'm serious."

"Right..."

Merlin's phone rang then and he almost feared it was a Pendragon, but when he looked down it was only John, his manager. Merlin answered it, mostly just to end this conversation with Gwaine, who got up after he answered the phone and walked out. Merlin talked to John for a good twenty minutes, talking about tour dates and how he could record his next album while still touring. It was a lot of information all at once. When he was done on the phone, he left his office and walked into their flat's kitchen to find Gwaine sitting at the table with Merlin's freshly hired bodyguard, Percy.

"Percy came over to get the layout of the flat, should he have to break in," Gwaine explained, pouring tea into a mug for the very large man. Percy looked up with a keen smile and Merlin felt slightly confused.

"Why would he have to break in?"

"What if fans have barricaded inside?" offered Percy. "Or a fire...flood...choking-"

"I'll just give you a key," offered Merlin and Gwaine laughed.

"I don't know...I kind of wanted to see him break in, just once. He says he uses bricks."

"Large bricks," offered Percy. Merlin thought then that these two would get along just fine, and as they all would be touring together soon, it was probably for the best that the three got to know each other better.

"Are you staying for dinner, Percy?" Merlin offered then, Percy smiled quite largely, and that's saying something as he was a large man, and nodded once.

"I would love that."

"Great, I'd like to say we're having steaks," said Gwaine then, "But I gave up meat for Merlin so how about noodles?"

"I love noodle's!" agreed Percy happily.

Gwaine began to cook said noodles and Merlin sat down at the table along side his bodyguard. He felt kind of disconnected, he wanted to involve himself in the easy conversation that was happening in the kitchen, but he kept feeling the pull of his previous thoughts. It was almost annoying to him how easy of a conversation the two were having, neither being plagued with thoughts of this blood sucking family, they really were like mosquitoes, feasting on Merlin's mind as if it were blood. And why was that a good song lyric? Merlin rubbed his forehead, because he was too overdramatic, and wished once more, that he never allowed these people back in his life. Merlin was still clutching his phone in his hand from before when he had been talking to John, he felt it buzz with a notification and looked down at it to see it was Morgana texting him. Isn't that convenient? He rolled his eyes becoming even more dejected from the conversation now, which he was sure was about pots and or pot.

Morgana: Hi, how are you? I haven't heard from you in a few days, just checking in. Leon and I are going to look at reception venues tomorrow, you're welcome to come along, it would be fun!

she ended the text with a smiley face and he wondered what her past goth self would have said about that.

Merlin: Who else is going?

Within seconds, she was typing back. Did she have no other life? He felt as if he was passing too much judgment on her, he supposed. She did want him involved after all, Merlin still couldn't understand why.

Morgana: Just me, Leon, your mum and you?

Merlin: I'll see, I have a meeting with my band at 3.

Morgana: We don't go until 4, Leon works a morning shift tomorrow. Please come!

Merlin sighed, irritated even more now, because he knew he was going to go, he didn't even know why he bothered pretending that he might not.

(A/N: I decided to do another update, after doing the last one I got into this story again, I just love the idea and the drama, I really just love petty, family drama too much. I only wrote this chapter and then half of the next one, nothing for the other stories I have left hanging unfortunately. About Merlin is a literal final boss I can't beat yet and Gwen from Fool Me Again is giving me the ick so I'm like no and I think I'll focus on this story for now. Either way, enjoy the chapter, and Merlin's confusing ass. Are you mad Arthur is avoiding you, bro? Like wtf...lol, see, I tell ya, I love the drama! ;p PSA: I didn't edit this one that great, I'm sorry I'm tired but I'll go through it again tomorrow.))