"All things are connected like the blood that unites us. We do not weave the web of life; we are merely a strand in it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves." – Chief Seattle
~0~
Cal sits cross-legged on a soft cushion, his eyes closed as he takes deep breaths in and out. His hands rest gently on his knees, palms facing upwards. The room around him is quiet except for the occasional sound of a bird outside or the faint whirring the Mantis's engine.
As he meditates, Cal's body relaxes, and his mind clears. He focuses on his breathing, letting go of any thoughts or worries that arise. Gradually, he feels a sense of peace and calm wash over him, akin to the gentle ebb and flow of ocean waves. In this moment, nothing else exists except for the present moment and the gentle rhythm of his breath.
Cal concentrates on his breathing and notices thoughts related to the things that caused him stress entering his mind. Yet instead of fixating on these thoughts, Cal accepts them before dismissing them. He envisions himself freeing each stressful thought like a balloon that drifts away into the atmosphere. As he continues to breathe deeply and regularly, he visualizes being filled with serenity and peace. With every inhalation, he absorbs positive vibes, while with each exhalation, he dispels any residual tension from his body.
As comes out of his meditation, Cal suddenly feels a pair of eyes on him. Opening them, he's startled by the sight of a small child staring at him with wide-eyed curiosity. It's Kata Akuna—a fair skinned, young girl, roughly eight – maybe nine? – years of age, recent addition to Mantis's crew. Her father was Bode Akuna, a force-sensitive mercenary, and former Jedi Knight during the Clone Wars. He was also an unfortunate casualty of the war. Not cut down by any Trooper or Inquisitor, but by Cal's own hands. It was a sad fact he was forced into reminding himself whenever he looked at Kata.
Cal was taken by surprise with the abruptness of the meeting, and he felt momentarily stunned. He became aware of his self-consciousness as the child kept staring at him, almost like he was being thoroughly examined.
Eventually, Cal managed to regain his composure and offered a friendly smile to the child. "Oh, Hello Kata."
"Oh, - hello!" she giggled; "Hm, why do you do that?"
Cal rubbed his eyelids with his palm as he had been experiencing poor sleep lately, which was starting to affect him. "Do what?"
"Talk to yourself." Her tone was one of curiosity or confusion.
The Jedi Knight shook his head, "I don't talk to myself. Why would I talk to myself? That's ridiculous, I never do that." Cal's initial defensive reaction faded away as he became less uncomfortable with the topic and attempted to divert the conversation elsewhere—like to the aroma of scazz steaks permeating from the kitchen.
Cal stood up and held Kata's hand, leading her to the kitchen where Greez and Merrin were preparing dinner. It seemed like they had overheard the conversation as Merrin jibed, "You do talk to yourself quite frequently, Cal," which was met with agreement from Greez.
The Jedi Knight displayed annoyance by making a slight gesture with his hand and commented, "Stop it." He then sat down in a disheartened manner and added, "I don't understand whose team you are on. You should be supporting me." Kata sat down in a chair close by, and Cal deliberately paid no attention to the self-satisfied look on her face.
Merrin walks over with two plates steaks, "You should not doubt my loyalty to you, Cal Kestis," each plate is dropped in front of them; Kata enjoyed a steak cooked to medium-rare and served with rootleaf. However, Cal still required some convincing as he preferred well-done steaks, which Merrin compared to eating the hide from the back of a tauntaun - although she had no personal experience with this. "But the odds here are against you."
Cal pretended to be disappointed and responded with a protest; "You know this is hardly a fair fight, Merrin. This... this two against one thing—" he gestured between her and Kata, "—is getting irritating. I mean, how's a guy supposed to defend himself...?"
"You don't, Cal," Greez added.
The Jedi Knight's jaw dropped slightly ajar. "Oh, not you too, Greez."
"Kid, face it, you're out numbered here." The Latero moved into a vacant chair. "Now hush up and eat your steak. Your idea of what passes as good food has my stomach turning. I'll get some flavors in you yet, even if it kills me, and I very much like being alive."
Cal quickly closed his mouth and glanced over at Kata, who sat upright with an air of confidence, feeling satisfied with herself. She had a wide smile on her face, and her eyes sparkled with happiness. Merrin concealed the smirk on her lips by taking a bite of steak.
BB-1 hurriedly climbed onto the couch, emitting high-pitched beeps. Kata chuckled while Greez flailed his arms in annoyance toward the tiny robot.
~/~/~
Cal's body is tensed up, his breathing quick and shallow. He is sweating profusely, and the rhythmic thumping sound in his chest indicates that Cal's heart rate has significantly increased.
As he tosses and turns in his sleep, it becomes clear that he is experiencing a nightmare.
In the dream, he sees hordes of soldiers – Troopers - marching towards him, weapons drawn, and faces twisted into cruel sneers. The sky is darkened by smoke as buildings burn around them. Cal feels paralyzed with fear as the invaders draw closer and closer.
He is surrounded by the sound of weapons fire and explosions, and he's aware that his demise is inevitable. His thoughts are consumed with concern for others, intensifying his sense of powerlessness.
As Cal delves deeper into the realm of his unconscious mind, the vividness and intensity of his dream increase exponentially. With each passing moment, he becomes increasingly gripped by a sense of overwhelming terror that seems to permeate every fiber of his being. Despite his desperate attempts to break free from this nightmarish world, he finds himself trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of fear and despair.
As the dream continues to unfold before him like a twisted tapestry of horrors, Cal's cries for help become more urgent and frantic. He feels as though he is drowning in an ocean of darkness with no hope of escape.
It is only when Cal finally awakens from this horrible ordeal gasping for air that he realizes it was all just a figment of his imagination. The sheer terror and anguish that he experienced in those fleeting moments have left an indelible mark on his psyche, leaving him shaken and vulnerable in ways that he never thought possible. His eyes dart about the room as he tries to make some kind of sense of what just happened.
Cal, burdened by his problems, gently pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead to show both weariness and distress. He breathed heavily as he looked around him. Merrin remained asleep, seemingly ignorant of her partner's unease.
Feeling overwhelmed by fear and anxiety, Cal stumbles out of bed towards the fresher. With shaky hands, he turns on the faucet and lets the water run until it's ice cold. Without hesitation, Cal splashes his face with the frigid water. At first, there is a shock as his body reacts to the sudden temperature change. But soon enough, relief sets in as the coolness soothes his skin and calms his nerves. Cal takes deep breaths and try to steady himself as he stares into the mirror.
After a brief interval, he comes back, carefully avoiding Kata who is sound asleep. He appreciates the fact that the child can sleep so deeply. On Bracca, he would only get a limited amount of rest, if any at all. Given the Empire's pursuit and widespread suspicion among people, sleeping for more than necessary left one exposed to danger - that was Cal's viewpoint, at least.
When he gets back to the bedroll, Merrin is sitting upright and waiting. "It was the same dream again, wasn't it?"
After letting out a deep sigh that echoes in his mouth, he says with an indifferent tone, "Yeah, sure, what else is new..." His casual and unconcerned attitude implies that this type of situation occurs frequently enough for him to anticipate it, much like the need to eat every day.
Cal rubs the back of his neck with one hand before taking a seat beside her.
She moves closer and places her chin in the indentation between his neck and shoulder. The sensation of her breath against his skin brings a sense of comfort amidst the tension. She embraces him with her arms, placing her hands on his stomach. Merrin lightly kisses the spot where she can feel his pulse beating in his neck.
Cal massages the skin on the back of her hands and grins, but his smile disappears soon after. He looks over to where Kata is sleeping—serene, and very doll-like. "Look at her there, sleeping away like that? A battle could be happening right now, you realize, and she wouldn't budge..."
Merrin moved her throat in a certain way and remarked, "Cal, you certainly do have an unparalleled ability to deter attention from the root of your problem, but it is not the child which has my concern at the moment."
He refocuses himself. "Right, sorry. Um, so, I saw something I can't really explain. I guess I can try to, maybe, but it won't make much sense—it doesn't to me, anyway." Cal huffs a sigh. "The Jedi had been betrayed by the Republic Army... the Clones, they—turned against their former Jedi commanding officers. Thousands across the galaxy were killed by their own troops. They must have reached the Temple. I... I saw myself there—fighting..."
He wouldn't usually speak about his past and felt quite haunted by it. Whenever brought up, he would usually react in anger of be dismissive. He eventually did open up more and fully accepted it, growing from this experience.
"But... that's impossible..." Cal closed his eyes briefly and focused his mind on bringing the memory to the forefront. "I was with Master Tapal. We were preparing to leave the Bracca system. I escaped in a shuttle pod, but I never made it back to Coruscant—I landed on the surface of Bracca."
Merrin listened, and she nodded, "If not at the temple during this attack, how could you perceive memories from it? You are somehow connected through the mind of another perhaps?"
"My connection to the Force was damaged for a long time, but I kept some basic uses. One of them is a rare gift of Psychometry. It's a Force practice which allows me to sense the history about people or events associated with a particular item or location simply by making physical contact with it..."
"Then it is plausible, perhaps, that this vision of yours originates from a memory of someone else who had been there," she concludes, based on his explanation.
The dark side of the Force was heavily prevalent on Dathomir, providing a fertile ground for the development of native Force users. Among these were various groups, including the Nightsisters, who utilized their abilities to practice magick, often malevolent in nature.
But the Jedi – they adhered to a doctrine that favored the light side of the Force, a side Merrin hadn't been privy to growing up and thus, was ignorant of many Jedi abilities.
Cal's mouth open and shut like a scalefish. When he pondered it, Merrin did make sense. Although he understood her point, he believed that his psychometry was limited to non-living things and couldn't work on living beings. However, he speculated that his connection with the Force might be healing in unexpected ways.