"Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind."
― Plato
~0~
7 BBY-
Merrin looked for him the next day, finding Cal on the ridge some miles away. He was tinkering away on something. The man had an insatiable habit of self-isolation when he wasn't in much of a mood to talk, and distracting himself with anything he could.
She approached him cautiously, not wanting to startle him. "I was informed I would find you out here," she said softly.
Cal looked up from his work and nodded in greeting but didn't say anything.
"What are you working on?" she asked, peering over his shoulder.
He shrugged. "Oh, I found this here radio, and I was going to fix it up – for Kata," he replied, showing her the broken parts.
Merrin nodded, a warm smile on her lips. "She does have an affinity for music. I am sure she will appreciate the gesture. Do you think it will work again?"
"It's hard to say," Cal shrugs, "but, I figure it's better than just sitting around doing nothing, or fixating on things I can control. This, fixing a broken radio – that I can control."
"It is better to focus on what we do have control over as opposed to what we do not." She paused for a moment, absorbing her own wording, before continuing. "Listen, Cal, about yesterday. I – I should not have pushed you like that..."
"It's fine – I'm fine, Merrin," he gives her a small, albeit sad smile – one that masked the tiniest one white lies.
Merrin furrows her brow, sensing that there was more to his response than he let on. But she decides not to press the issue, knowing that Cal was someone who preferred to keep his emotions close to the chest.
Instead, she reaches over to grab a nearby tool and starts fiddling with the radio alongside him. They work in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.
Finally, he spoke up again. "You know, Merrin, sometimes it's hard for me to talk about things. It's not because I don't want to or because I don't trust you. It's just...difficult."
Merrin nodded sympathetically. "I understand," she said softly.
Cal sighed and put down his tools for a moment, looking out over the horizon. "Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying so much weight on my shoulders, you know? And it's hard to let anyone else help me bear it."
Merrin reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "There isn't any burden you should be shouldering alone, Cal Kestis." She gave him a firm squeeze.
He held her hand and they stayed quiet for a while, with his thumb stroking her knuckles. They sat in silence, the only audible sound being their own breaths.
Eventually, Cal would go back to fixing the malfunctioning radio, while Merrin simply sat beside him without uttering a word. As he said before, this radio was something he could control, and he was bound to do so. It gave him a sense of importance, and it did well to keep his mind distracted from the real issue swimming around in there.
At long length, the radio sputtered itself to life. Small victories, thought Cal. "There, that should do it I think," he said with a grin on his face.
"Splendid! Kata will be surely appreciating this gift."
Cal nodded in the affirmative, "I hope so," he said. "It's not much, but at least she'll be able to listen to some music or news."
"Small things can make a big difference," his colleague replied, patting him on the back. "You're a good person, Cal."
Cal blushed slightly at the compliment. He didn't think of himself as particularly altruistic; he just liked helping people when he could.
He tweaked a few dials in hopes of catching a transmission, but he had low expectations. Nowadays, numerous channels were saturated with Empire propaganda. After failing to pick up anything, Cal eventually powered off the radio and sat there with a heavy sigh, feeling defeated.
He brought his knees close to his chest. With a grumble, he says, "Is there anything the Empire hasn't touched?" Looking at both the radio and the edge of the cliff, he considered throwing it off and listening to its pieces break against the boulders below.
"I sense this isn't just about a broken radio..." She didn't require Force intuition to sense that something more profound was bothering him.
He opened his mouth, but said nothing.
Merrin dismissed it. "Forget it."
"No, I – it's fine, and you're right." He hung his head low, a heavy feeling swimming in the forefront of his brain.
Merrin looked at him with concern in her eyes.
He sighed heavily, feeling the incumbrance of his emotions bearing down on him. "It's just... everything," he finally admitted.
Merrin nodded understandingly, giving him space to express himself. "Sometimes it feels like life keeps throwing obstacles at us one after another," she empathized. "But remember, we're stronger than we think. We've faced challenges before and come out on top."
He sighed; his shoulders visibly relaxing as he absorbed Merrin's words of encouragement. It was reassuring to have someone validate his struggle.
"I know," he replied, his voice tinged with sadness. "But this time, I can't shake off this feeling of despair. It's like an echo in my mind that won't go away."
"I understand the immense weight our thoughts carry, threatening to engulf us," she empathetically acknowledged.
He looked at Merrin. "What do you remember of your parents?" Cal took a deep breath; imagines and memories continue haunting him.
Merrin's eyes flickered with a mix of sadness and uncertainty as she contemplated Cal's question. She hesitated for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts before speaking.
"The concept of a family dynamic does not exist on Dathomir as it does for you," she explains, and chooses her wording carefully. "The males of our species, they are subservient to females, living separately from them. Nightbrothers are regulated to being servants, our muscle, our bodyguards, and – when timing demands for it – our breeding stock..."
Cal's brows twitched in confusion. "So, you're saying – "
"Let me clarify that I had no knowledge of my Nightbrother sire. After a Nightbrother is chosen, he will engage in intimate relations with the Nightsister repeatedly until she becomes pregnant. However, soon after that, he is disregarded, to return to his colony."
Cal's confusion deepened as he tried to process the information.
"So, let me get this straight," he said, his voice tinged with disbelief. "Nightbrothers are chosen to serve and protect the Nightsisters, but they're also expected to engage in intimate relations with them? And once they impregnate a Nightsister, they're cast aside?"
The Nightsister nodded solemnly, her gaze fixed on some distant point. "Yes, that is correct. It is our way of ensuring the survival of our species. Nightbrothers are essential for their physical strength and protection abilities, but beyond that, they have no further role in our society."
Cal felt a mix of sympathy and confusion wash over him. He struggled to comprehend a system that assigned such limited roles based on gender. It was a stark contrast to what he knew back home.
The Nightsister looked at him curiously, her expression softening slightly. "Why this sudden interest?"
He pauses for a moment, his eyes scanning the room as if searching for some distant memory.
A sense of emptiness fills the air as he struggles to grasp onto those fleeting images. His voice becomes softer, almost fragile.
Then he continues, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "I've tried patching together the puzzles of my past. But it's like staring into an abyss; there are no tangible answers, just infinite questions reverberating back at me." There is a flicker of frustration in his eyes, a desire to unravel the mystery that has haunted him for so long.
His gaze drops to the floor momentarily before meeting mine again.
The Nightsister's gaze became more sympathetic as she listened to Cal's words. She understood the longing for family. Taking a deep breath, Cal closes his eyes in hopes of remembering his dreams - along with a voice that was both comforting and eerie, carrying a feeling of melancholy.
Cal opens his eyes, sighing heavily as he looks at Merrin.
He rubs his temples, attempting to clear the fog that clouds his mind. He struggles to put into words the strange dreams he has been experiencing lately. Dreams that feel both familiar and foreign at the same time.
His face tightens slightly, his expression shifting to one of sadness. "My parents, - ," he starting to answer, then paused, his voice tinging with a hint of resentment. Cal shook his head, a mix of frustration and resignation crossing his features.
Closing his eyes once again, he takes a deep breath as he dives back into the depths of his subconsciousness. He knows he's never met his parents, but he liked to imagine what they looked like and what kind of people they were.
In his mind's eye, he pictured a tall, strong man with earnest blue eyes and a gentle smile. He imagined his father as someone who exuded kindness and had a comforting presence. Perhaps he had a thick head of hair that Cal inherited, or maybe he possessed an infectious laugh that could light up any room.
As for his mother, Cal envisioned her as a graceful woman with flowing yellow locks and sparkling blue eyes. In his daydreams, she was compassionate and loving, always ready to embrace him in her arms. He imagined her voice as soft and soothing, able to chase away any worry or fear that might plague him. Full of nobility, she commands respect when she speaks.
He feels like he knows her, but this woman is only a stranger to him.
Cal knew these images were purely figments of his imagination, but they provided solace amidst the uncertainty surrounding his parents' identity. Imagining their faces allowed him to create a connection with them, even if it was only in his thoughts.
He sighs, heavily. "My vision, what I felt, - it was fear, her fear. My mother's."
"There were many difficult cultures and belief systems I encountered in my travels. Not everything is as black and white as we believe them to be," Merrin said, then fiddled with the discarded radio.
Cal unbent his legs. "I wish I could understand what she was afraid of."
She paused for a moment, her eyes searching for the right words. "Fear is a complex emotion," she began, her voice soft and thoughtful. "It can stem from many different sources, some of which we may never fully understand."
~/~/~
Her small frame made her seem even tinier next to the vastness of the water, but there was a sense of fearlessness in her eyes. Despite the discomfort of her wet clothes, Kata seemed completely at ease as she floated on the surface. Kata's love for swimming was evident in every stroke she took, moving through the water with grace and confidence. It was as if she had found solace within its depths, finding peace amidst the chaos of life. The water embraced her like an old friend, offering comfort and understanding.
The droplets glistened on her smooth, sun-kissed skin, reflecting the fading sunlight. Her black hair clung to her face, accentuating her delicate features. There was something captivating about her, an effortless charm.
Perhaps it was this innate connection with water that made Kata shine so brightly. She carried herself with a quiet strength, unafraid to venture into unknown waters both literally and metaphorically. In a world that often demanded conformity and caution, she remained unapologetically herself. She possessed a rare kind of freedom that most only dreamt of having - the ability to let go and immerse oneself fully in the moment. For Kata, being near the water brought a sense of liberation unlike anything else.
As she swam towards the banks of the lake, droplets cascading from her tiny body with each movement, standing at the edge of the shore was Greez; "C'mon, kid! You're going to get all pruney in there!" In his hands was a towel, ready to wrap around her.
"Aww! Greez!" She protested, frowning, "Just a few more minutes? I promise. Just five! Please, pretty please! I'll eat more veggies with dinner! Oh, pretty please!"
Greez chuckled at her plea, shaking his head in amusement. "Alright, fine, five more minutes it is," he conceded, unable to resist her puppy dog eyes and desperate pleas. He unfolded the towel and set it down on a nearby rock before settling himself down to watch.
She grinned triumphantly and continued to swim with renewed vigor, splashing water playfully as she moved through the lake. Her laughter filled the air, echoing off the surrounding trees. Greez couldn't help but smile at the sheer joy radiating from her. As she swam, time seemed to stand still. The sun began its descent towards the horizon, casting a warm golden glow across the serene waters.
The tranquility of the moment was interrupted by a sudden splash as she dove beneath the surface, disappearing momentarily.
Greez's heart skipped a beat for a moment until he saw her resurface, giggling uncontrollably. She had taken advantage of those few extra minutes to explore underwater, discovering a small school of colorful fish darting around beneath her.
"Did you see them? They were so pretty!" she exclaimed excitedly as she made her way back to shore.
Greez stood up and wrapped the towel snugly around her shivering frame. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," he said warmly. "Now let's get you dried off."
She nodded obediently but couldn't hide her satisfied grin.
Back onboard the Mantis, a dripping wet Kata went running through the common area, barely avoiding a tiny little droid and a disapproving glare from Merrin. The towel she had about her shoulder was discarded as she ran. Greez was coming up behind her, grumbling something no one could hear or make out.
Kata rushed up to Merrin, tossing her arms around Merrin's hips, chattering excitedly about the fish she saw in the lake. The Nightsister raised an eyebrow at Kata's enthusiastic display, trying to suppress a smile. She gently pried the younger girl's arms off her hips and took a step back, maintaining some distance between them.
"Kata, slow down," Merrin said calmly. "You are all wet, child, and making a mess. And where is your towel?"
Kata's grin widened even further as she realized she had forgotten about the towel. "Oh! I must have dropped it somewhere. But you should've seen those fish, Merrin! They were so colorful and fast!"
"That's great to hear. I'm happy that you had fun, young one, but it would be wise to change out of your wet clothes before you get cold. Also, dinner will be ready shortly."
She shifted her weight back and forth on her heels. "I promised Greez I'd eat more veggies tonight. Where's Cal?"
"The engine room below deck. Kata, change your clothes!"
The young girl rushed to her bed and wriggled out of her damp clothes, swiftly putting on a clean outfit. She was eager to reach the engine room as soon as possible.
Once she was dressed, Kata made her way down to the engine room. As she descended the stairs, she could hear the hum of machinery and the clinking of tools. The familiar scent of grease and oil filled the air.
When she entered the room, Cal was hunched over a console, his hands busy with wires and circuits. He looked up as he heard Kata's footsteps.
"Hey there, little one," Cal greeted her with a smile. "Did you have a good time at the lake?"
Kata nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! I saw the most amazing fish today, Cal. They were so colorful and fast."
Cal chuckled. "I bet they were something to see. But right now, we need to focus on getting this engine fixed before dinner."
Kata's excitement dimmed slightly as she glanced at the broken engine. It had been giving them trouble for days.
"I'll help you, Cal," she said determinedly, stepping closer to get a better look at the intricate machinery.
Cal ruffled her hair affectionately. "Let's get to work then."