A/N: Plot Twist! I know I'm mixing some things up in here, but keep in mind this is my version of an AU. With that said, enjoy!
Lost
Chapter 5: Leave
She awoke with a start, flinging the blankets aside and gasping for air as if she'd been underwater. She felt her face, her bed and lastly her lips as she looked around to see where she was. This place was more familiar than the place she'd been in her dream. She was home. This was her room. She ran her hands through her sweaty matted hair as she struggled to regain her breath. It was... just a dream. All of it. Every single bit was just a dream. Tears formed in her eyes as she collapsed back onto the pillow, silently crying as she curled into a ball. She wanted to go back...
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He awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed as he tried to process what had happened. He looked around and saw that he was in his bed chamber on the First Order ship. He cursed under his breath as he realized that the Force was messing with him. He could have swore that all of that had really happened. That they were actually together and that he'd finally admitted what he had always wanted to tell her. He looked at his hands, examining them for any sort of scratch or discoloration that could show him that it was in fact real. He cursed as he balled his fists up and slammed it into the bed beside him. He curled his knees to his chest, resting his elbows on them as he ran his hands through his hair. It was just a stupid dream. A wish he wanted so desperately to be true. But it wasn't. He sighed heavily, muttering another curse. He gently touched his lips as his brows knitted together. It felt so real. And that taste... He swore he just had that stew and tasted it in her mouth. He laid his head back against the headboard, glaring at the ceiling. He looked down at his hand and his eyes widened. Purple?
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She dragged herself back from the bed and wiped her face in irritation. Why was she so broken up about it anyway? He probably didn't care for her like that anyway, right? As if that would actually happen. Ben would never be that vulnerable to her. He wanted to kill her. She was the last spark of the Resistance. If he took her out, then the Resistance would surely fizzle out and the First Order would be in full control over everything. She walked to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror, glaring at her reflection as if she dared it to prove her wrong. It felt so incredibly real. The smells. The sights. The warmth. The tastes. The pain. All of it seemed so real! She felt the sadness welling inside of her again. She finally felt like she had someone to care for and who cared for her. But it was just a dream after all. None of it was real. It was something her head made up. Her silly imagination put her through her paces. She clenched her fist as she glared at her reflection, more tears threatening to fall. She slammed her fist into the sink, wincing at the pain it caused her arm. She paused for a moment, hesitantly looking down at the spot where it hurt. There was a scratch!
Her eyes welled up with tears as she couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Was it real!? Or was it a coincidence? She felt a tug through the connection and she froze. What if... had he had the same dream? Had they shared it?! Whose imagination was it then?! Her cheeks burned redder than a fire as she swallowed hard and allowed him to venture in. She turned around and there he was.
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He stood in front of her, taking in her form. He couldn't tell how she felt. But as he studied her face, he knew instantly. She was crying. Had it affected her that badly to where it hurt her to think it was a dream? Did they have a chance? "Rey-"
"It's real." He stopped and closed his mouth as he offered a small smirk. "It... really happened." Ben hesitantly nodded. She slowly approached him, stopping a few inches away from him. She took in his form through their bond, swearing he was with her right now. And to them, it always felt real. She lifted her arm and showed him the scratch. "It happened," she said with a small smile.
He couldn't help but snicker at her. "Yes, Rey. It happened. Would you like me to prove it?" he asked with a devilish smirk. He wrapped his arm around her waist, hand on her cheek as he leaned in close to her. He barely made out a warm smile before their lips met. She wrapped her arms desperately around him, afraid to let him go. He kissed her back with as much fire as he could muster as they clung to each other like their only lifelines.
After a few moments they pulled apart and grinned at each other. "How?" she whispered.
"I don't know. It doesn't matter." She laughed softly before kissing him again, gentler this time. He held her tight for a moment and then let her go and pulled away. "Rey... let's leave."
"What?"
"Leave the First Order. Leave the Resistance. Leave it all."
"Ben... we can't-"
"We can. We can find that planet again. We can live there, free from war and picking sides."
Rey stared up at him for a moment, weighing her options. "What about Leia?" she asked softly.
Ben frowned. "What about her?"
Rey frowned. "She misses you, Ben... We can't leave without her seeing you again."
He sighed heavily and released her completely. "I can't stay with the Resistance, Rey. They'll kill me or have me imprisoned for the rest of my life."
"They won't-"
"They will! Rey, I've committed war crimes. I'm wanted on several planets. The Resistance wants me dead as much as the First Order wants you dead. We cannot rely on either side." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair in irritation. After a few moments of silence, he turned back around to look at her. "Listen... I'll come get you tonight. If mother wants to see me so badly, tell her she can see me then. And after that... we'll leave."
"You don't even know where we're going though. How can we just fly away without a destination?" she asked in disbelief.
"Give me time to research the planet. I'll find it." His confidence was back as he gave her a classic Ben Solo grin. She offered a small soft smile. "Tonight. Make sure the landing pad is clear."
"How do you know where I-"
Ben pressed his lips against hers for a brief moment. When he pulled away, he gave her an honest smile. "I've known where you are for a while, Rey. I never intended to attack you."
Rey gave him a worried look. "Does the First Order know-"
"No," he said sternly. "I've been careful not to reveal anything about your location." She looked uneasy as she studied his features. "Rey, why would I have any reason to lie to you?"
She held his face in her hand as she gave him a small smile. "Ok. I trust you. Keep me up to date on what you find. I'll see if I can find something, too."
Ben nodded, pressing his lips to hers one last time, a twinkle in his eye that she'd never seen before. It was as if he had rediscovered a reason to live. And she was his reason. "I'll see you soon," he whispered as he disappeared from their connection.
Rey stood alone with a small smile on her face, silently wondering what this would mean for them now. However, she was eager to find out. She touched her lips, closing her eyes as she remembered the feel of his lips on hers. She felt their bond growing ever stronger, making her question if there was anything he couldn't see in her. She sighed heavily as she heard a knock at her door, glaring over at the door and flinching when she realized what she'd done. He was rubbing off on her already...
"Rey? Are you there?" Finn called from the other side.
Rey flinched again. She knew how Finn felt about her, and she also knew how he was torn between her and Rose. But she was trying to push him more towards Rose every chance she got. "I-I'm here, Finn."
She heard his heavy sigh of relief on the other side. "Great. I was worried you'd disappeared again..."
"Disappeared?" she questioned as she walked over to the door, opening it to look at him for an explanation.
"Yes, disappeared. I don't know what it is, but ever since Kef-Bir, you've been disappearing. One minute here, the next gone. Like you're in a trance or something. Just a few days ago, you took an X-Wing and disappeared!" Rey flinched. Really? In a trance...? She held her chin in thought. "So..." Rey raised his eyes up to him. "Where'd you go this time?"
She gave him a small sheepish smile. "Somewhere... wonderful."
Finn's eyes widened a little. "O-oh... uh... What was it like?"
She gave him a grin. "A lady never tells her secrets, Finn. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to see Leia." He reluctantly stepped aside and she nodded to him as she bounced down the hallways. However, halfway to Leia's room, she stopped and frowned. This was serious. A lot of things rode on this conversation in a few minutes. Would she be able to leave? Did she need to stay? Would she be imprisoned for treason? No, they weren't the Empire. Leia wouldn't do that to her... She stopped in front of Leia's door, hesitating, wondering, worrying. She bit her lip and raised her hand to knock-
"You know you don't need to knock, Rey," came her voice on the other end of the door. Rey flinched and let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Come in."
Rey walked inside the door and gave a small smile to Leia. She sat on her couch, reading papers, she assumed were status reports. The General looked up and gave her a small motherly smile. "Something's troubling you," Leia commented as she set the papers aside and patted the seat next to her. "Let's have a talk."
Rey hesitantly walked over to the couch, sitting next to Leia. The General turned to face her with that knowing smile. "It's-"
"You've seen my son again, hm?" Rey blushed, eyes wide as her mouth hung slightly agape. Leia chuckled. "It's written all over your face. You know, when you get back from seeing him, whether it be through that bond of yours or in person, you have this air of... happiness and confidence about you." Rey allowed a ghost of a sheepish smile. "So... what do you need to talk to me about regarding Ben?"
"He agreed to see you."
Leia's eyes widened a little, turning her head away as she exhaled deeply. "I don't know, Rey..."
Rey frowned, biting her lip as if she were trying not to spew everything in her head. Leia seemed uneasy, Rey was on edge. "He... is coming to the launchpad tonight. He asked that we clear it so he can see you and leave in peace."
"In peace?" Leia asked with a small chuckle. "Ben Solo... now Kylo Ren... leave in peace? My, you must have quite the effect on him..." She looked over at Rey then with a small smile. "You truly are good for him, Rey. I hope he isn't too stubborn to see that."
Rey felt her eyes watering as she reached out and touched Leia's hand, the older woman holding Rey's hand in return. "He sees it," Rey said with a bright smile. Leia gave a motherly smile and nodded. The older woman put her other hand on top of Rey's. "Leia... he wants to leave the First Order." Leia's sight jolted to Rey's face, a panic in her eyes. "He... we... um..." Rey sighed heavily.
"But he doesn't want to come here either." Rey shook her head. "I would expect not... So then, what does he plan to do? Where does he plan to go?"
Rey shook her head. "I don't know..." she said softly. Leia looked down with another heavy sigh. "But... I'm going with him. And... I'd like for you to send us off..."
Leia laughed softly and shook her head. "You're serious about him then?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'm more certain about him than... than anything in my entire life thus far."
When Leia looked at Rey's face again, she saw the look of love and adoration that she had for her son. It brought tears to her eyes that someone could love her son, the same son that has committed many wrongs and harmed many people. This woman, who had no idea where she came from or what her family lineage was prior to finding out the hard way, loved her son so much that she was willing to risk it all with him. Leia couldn't help but smile brightly at her. "Very well. When should I expect him?"