Iceborn
A/N: This chapter is dedicated as a Christmas Gift to daughterofthechief, who sent me a review. I do read all the reviews and yours gave me the will to push past the writers block I had been fighting with this story. I am sorry for the long delay, please enjoy and review.
Eruraviel knew that her actions during her travels had been reckless but just because Glorfindel's protective instincts had been roused by her actions did not mean she would suddenly roll over and show throat. If her future mate thought he could just waltz in and expect her to give in he had another thing coming. She would be remiss of her duties as an elleth of Gondolin if she gave in so easily. If he wanted her for a mate, and it looked like he did – he was going to have to work for it. As she paced her room the day after her release from the halls of healing she decided to remain in public as much as possible, this would hopefully help in avoiding her determined mate. Turning she opened the doors to the balcony attached to her rooms and looking around carefully, jumped over the banister and landed lightly on the ground below. Racing across the pathways and gardens she entered the stables to visit Arvellas. While Elrond had assured her that Arvellas had indeed recovered she still wanted to visit both to see for herself and to thank her animal companion for her effort in getting them back to Imladris.
As she approached the grazing fields, she grimaced lightly at the numerous elves present, before waving at their greetings. While having them there would make things easier if Glorfindel showed, and she didn't doubt that he would, their presence still set her teeth on edge. But for the sake of propriety she would keep an affable facade, lest she send them running. As she approached the fence line she saw Arvellas, once again leaning against Arbellason. As she ducked under one of the fence boards and approached she made sure to pulse her faer in order to let Arvellas know that she was coming near in order to avoid startling her and Arbellason. Eruraviel also had to admit that she was scared for both herself and Glorfindel if she accepted him as her dominant mate. The last time she had been responsible for another's safety and happiness – they died, painfully. She knew that Glorfindel was a capable warrior but all that meant was that he should be aware of just how risky it was to pursue her as a mate.
As she stroked Arvellas, she realized that if she stayed Glorfindel wouldn't give up. Her heart broke as she realized that she had to leave. Glorfindel would be safer and better off if she did. Just look at how much worry and stress he had been under with her in his life. She leaned her head against her animal companion's neck as tears gathered in her eyes. She was stuck between two equally difficult choices. Glorfindel would find someone else, she reasoned. He deserved someone whole and unburdened by failures of the past. Eruraviel knew that her brother's death, the death of her best friend and the fall of her home had broken her in ways even she didn't understand. She took a deep breath and smiled as Arbellason came over to nuzzle Arvellas. She couldn't drag her away from her happiness, it meant that for the first time since she was a child – she would be alone. Maybe that was for the best though. With as many dangerous things she did in the past, remaining in Imladris was most definitely safer for Arvellas. Eruraviel nodded to herself and with one last hug, she turned and ran back to her room.
It took only minutes to gather her possessions and she took several minutes to write a note to Glorfindel explaining her reasons for leaving and that he needed to find someone who could make him happy, not burden him with their existence as she did. She then left by jumping from her balcony. She made sure to stick to the shadows as she slowly made her way out of the bustling elven city. As she came to a stop at the top of the mountain path, she looked back down into a place that had become very dear to her heart. She slowly shook her head and turned away, taking the high pass into the misty mountains. As the snow crunched under her feet, Eruraviel knew that she had just doomed herself to a life of loneliness and self-exile. As she made camp that first night, she leaned against the wall of the small cave that was barely any protection from the wind and snow howling in the air outside. She missed feeling Glorfindel, as she had long since passed the one-mile area where she could feel him. She knew he would know something was wrong the minute she passed that boundary.
The morning dawned cold and clear and even elven as she was Eruraviel shivered. She collapsed her small camp and headed deeper into the mountains. She pulled her cloak tighter around her shivering form and cursed her decision to come this way. Why hadn't she just headed out through the Trollshaws? She hated the cold but she hadn't even thought of heading anywhere else. It was like something was pulling her. She crested the top of a frozen glacier and looked down into the icy valley between two colossal mountains. It was known as Helcelimbё or Ice Drop in common tongue. It was a beautiful valley with a river, waterfall, forest and caves but everything was frozen solid – trapped in ice and unable to move. Humans and dwarves had legends about this area. They said it was the resting place for an ice mage and that as revenge for any traveler who disturbed his rest, froze them solid. Eruraviel knew that the area was frozen over when the continent had shifted and the weather had changed abruptly in the valley from warm and sunny to frigid and frozen in a matter of hours.
It had been during the conflict with Melkor when the Valar had attacked, the battle had been so fierce the entire landscape had been forever changed. Areas of coastline and harbor had fallen into the sea, forest turned to mountains and mountains into plains. It had been terrifying for the elves to witness the sheer power of the Valar and it was one of the many reasons that many had refused to sail. She understood that the reason that so many had died here was because the underestimated the area. When she said that everything was frozen she meant it. No food could be found the water needed fire to melt and the wood was so cold and hard that it wouldn't burn. People froze to death if they didn't starve or die of thirst. As she made her way into the frozen woodland, she let her hand brush against the trees. These trees had lived since that battle so many ages ago, untouched and pure. It made her long to brush her faer against them and feel that purity that had been lost everywhere else so long ago. She knew she shouldn't though, it was too dangerous as it risked the frozen nature of the tree seeping into her own faer.
She came to a grove of frozen willows whose frosted branches made a near solid wall. She decided to set camp here and laid out her bedroll as she ate some of her lembas bread. The area was beautiful she acknowledged, it was clean and untouched by darkness. As night fell she found herself staring into the sky mesmerized by the stars, shining so clear and bright. The snow and ice around her glowed under the moonlight and she never noticed as a hazy look filled her eyes. She turned her head and laid her hand against the frozen trunk of the willow that sheltered her. She pulled her faer outward and with a near audible snap joined her faer with the tree before her. The world around her vanished in a haze of white and she blinked as she found herself sitting in the snow at the edge of a gentle pond unfrozen and crystal clear. The snow crunched beside her and Eruraviel turned to stare at the woman that now sat beside her in the chilly night air.
The woman had hair as black as a raven's wings, long enough to brush the snow below. It as pulled back into intricate braids that were woven into a crown of feathers and small jewels. Her face was high and aristocratic and a pale cream that glowed in the moonlight. Her eyes were sharp grey that even as she watched shifted from grey to blue/green and back. She was dressed in a long flowing gown of white that faded to a light blue and had an iridescent shine to it. Her feet were bare and yet the woman showed no signs of feeling the cold. On her left hand was a ring of glowing crystal the reflected all colors of the rainbow.
"You hold such sadness and loss, take care not to let yourself fall into darkness lest others follow." A light musical voice filled the air, filled with the sounds of nature from birdsong to the babbling of a brook. Eruraviel looked at her in puzzlement.
"There are none who would do as such." Eruraviel said even as she felt a pang of sadness and loss at her words. The woman shook her head.
"You blind yourself to the truth and hide from what may be. You retreated from pain and while you cannot be blamed for doing so, you must learn to accept and move forward." The woman said even as she brushed her hand against the water before them. The water rippled and changed to show an image of herself smiling and hugging a small child, even as she herself was round in a pregnancy. Behind her stood the tall handsome figure of Glorfindel, holding a second smaller child with a loving smile on his visage. Her breath caught and she was surprised by the longing that filled her.
"This is but one path among many, you must accept what has been given to you lest darkness claim more than yourself." Eruraviel watched as the image changed to show a bloody field filled with the bodies of hundreds of elves. Her heart became lodged in her throat as she saw the painfilled figure of Glorfindel laying bleeding in the snow at the feet of the Witch King, loss and resignation on his face. A sob tore itself from her throat as she saw what she knew to be the second death of Glorfindel. As the image faded her mind and faer shuddered in pain.
"I can't do that to him. I have so many problems, I could only bring him sadness." Eruraviel cried begging the woman to understand. The mysterious figure gave her a sad smile.
"Problems can be overcome, that it the nature of life. Without knowing sadness, one cannot know happiness. Without loneliness one cannot know security, without danger one cannot know safety, without loss we cannot comprehend the full strength of love. You may run in fear and self-sacrifice but the one you run from will not allow you to hide from him. You are his just as much as he is yours. You give him strength and purpose beyond oaths. You give him an ally against the darkness that he cannot fight just as he does for you." The woman said as she stood from the ground, no imprint in the snow from where she had sat. Eruraviel lunged to her feet.
"Wait who are you?" She pleaded, desperate to know how the woman was able to show her those images. The woman began to fade into the moonlight even as she smiled.
"I am she who sings of the trees and birds, the one who seeks healing and passion and brings tidings both good and bad. I am Melian of the Maia."
Eruraviel jerked her eyes open to find herself staring at the frozen canopy of willows sparkling in the sunlight. Her eyes were wide as she began to understand just who had come to warn her. She went to move and found herself wrapped in a warm heavy blanket even as she heard a light humming nearby. She sat up slowly, knowing she hadn't fallen into reverie in such a way. As she turned her head she froze in shock as she took in the figure humming even as he leaned against the willow branches. She felt a spark of worry when the figures powerful azure gaze landed on her. There was a determined, worried look on the figures face as they turned their head to look directly at her still form, causing a cascade of golden hair to shift over his shoulder.
"Hello, again Eruraviel." They said in a falsely calm tone. She swallowed tightly.
"Hello Glorfindel." She said in return, a mixture of emotions filling her and nearly making her head spin. How had he found her?
"I am sure you have many questions, well we have many things we need to go over. First, I will answer what is probably your easiest question, how did I find you?"
"You left in quite a hurry and due to you leaving Arvellas behind we knew you couldn't have gotten far. Elrond sensed that you headed up the mountain path instead of through the Trollshaws and I left and followed your tracks. I found you unconscious and nearly frozen sometime after Ithil's peak. Now, why did you leave?" Glorfindel asked in a hard voice, pain clear in it as well. Eruraviel swallowed back tears as she hated hurting him.
"Glorfindel, I am a failure when it comes to being able to protect those I care for. I failed to protect my parents, I failed to protect my brother, I failed to protect my best friend and I failed to protect my city. I could not live with myself when I failed to protect you as well. You deserve to be mated to someone who isn't so stuck in failure. I'm not worthy of you Glorfindel." She said as she tilted her head to look at the bright blue sky and fought back tears. A hand on the back of her neck made her look to see Glorfindel was now crouched in front of her a saddened yet understanding look on his face.
"Eruraviel, you are not a failure. You did everything in your power to help those you lost, do not blame yourself – leave the blame where it belongs, in the hands of Melkor and his foul creations. No one being can hold back an army on their own, that is why we have friends and comrades. Who I chose to be my mate is my choice, you cannot make it for me. I love you, I don't care if you have shadows to overcome, I will help you. I don't want someone who sees my past as some glorious tale of adventure, and I know you don't want that for yourself either. You understand who I am and where I come from, you were there when I died and you were still here when I was returned. In many ways, you are stronger than I, for I at least had the peace of death while you found the strength to carry on. You don't have to be the strong one now, let me carry you this time. You will always be worthy of me and I will always strive to be worthy of you." Glorfindel said. Eruraviel lost her fight against tears as she was pulled into an embrace, tucking her head under his chin. How could she argue against that? Her heart, while still broken in many ways had several small pieces that fused back together.
Eruraviel stayed in Glorfindel's embrace for nigh on an hour before she drew back.
"I will try Glorfindel, but I may fall short at times." She murmured against his chest. The arms around her tightened.
"If that happens then I will pull you up and help you continue to move forward." He said in her ear. She smiled slightly.
"Why were you so cold when I arrived dear one, elves do not normally freeze as such?" Glorfindel asked. Eruraviel stiffened and knew he would be displeased with her response.
"I don't know why I came this way. I had intended to leave by the Trollshaws but for some reason I came here. I set up camp and after Ithil rose in the sky all I could feel was this thrumming sensation. I vaguely remember connecting my faer to the willow and suddenly I was somewhere else." She said even as she became reabsorbed in her tale. She felt his arms tighten around her and she knew he too understood just how dangerous such action had been as pieces fell together.
"Where did you go?" He asked her softly.
"I was in a frozen forest beside a pond that was unfrozen and clear. The entire area was bathed in Ithil's glow and I heard someone sit beside me. The woman was tall, with hair like midnight and eyes the color of a cloudy sky. Her voice was musical yet filled with birdsong and other music belonging in nature." Eruraviel said. The woman had been beautiful.
"That sounds…familiar." Glorfindel muttered.
"She talked with me about how I needed to learn to live and move forward and then I was shown two possible futures, depending on the choices I made." She said. A curious hum came from the elf in front of her.
"One picture showed myself standing in a room laughing, and I was pregnant while holding another child. Behind me, was you holding a smaller child and you were laughing as well." She trailed off as a longing for that future hit her like a landslide. A whoosh of breath escaped from Glorfindel and she was suddenly being hugged tightly.
"Oh dear heart, I so hope to have such one day." He said joyfully and with longing. She smiled and hummed her agreement.
"What was the other possibility?" He asked and she stiffened and clenched her fists. He drew back concern hitting him.
"Eruraviel?" He asked worried. She looked him in the eye and knew she had to show him, there was no way she could talk about it. She briefly allowed her mind to connect with hers and then passed him the image she had been shown of his death. His eyes widened in horror and shock.
"I won't let that happen! Glorfindel I cannot lose you." She cried. He pulled her back against him and rocked her, even as she could feel his own heart racing.
"I know beloved. We will not let that come to pass. Can…Can you show me the other vision?" He asked a pleading quality in his voice. She took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. She reluctantly pulled away and locking eyes once again, sent him the picture that had become so dear to her in such a short amount of time. His eyes glazed over and a loving, longing look filled with pride and desire appeared on his face. He swooped down and caught her in a devastating kiss that caused her mind to lock up. He pulled back and she could feel the possessive dominant hold his faer had on her. He stood and pulled her up with him.
"Come, let us return to Imladris. There are many that wish to see you, especially since Celeborn and Galadriel were supposed to arrive yesterday." Glorfindel said as he took the blanket and they pack up the small camp site. As they left the frozen valley, Eruraviel froze as she realized that Melian had made her come this way. Glorfindel looked at her in concern at her sudden stop.
"Everything alright Beloved?" He asked threading his head with hers. She blinked and nodded.
"Who was the one that showed you all of that?" Glorfindel asked as they passed the glacier cliff.
"I will tell you exactly as she said it. I am she who sings of the trees and birds, the one who seeks healing and passion and brings tidings both good and bad. I am Melian of the Maia." Eruraviel recited and smiled at Glorfindel's look of shock.
"Ai Valar. I thought she stayed in the gardens of Lorien after Doriath's fall!" He said shocked. She nodded.
"I thought the same, apparently we were wrong. I don't know that she was physically here, but she can apparently call others to her." Eruraviel said. Glorfindel shook his head in amazement as they continued down the path into Imladris. Eruraviel was somewhat nervous over the reception she would get and hesitated slightly only to get a firm look from Glorfindel and a tug on their still clasped hands. As they entered the courtyard Eruraviel could see that Elrond, Celebrian, Erestor, Celeborn and Galadriel were indeed in attendance. Upon sensing their presence, the group turned to see her and Glorfindel. Eruraviel blinked when she was suddenly being hugged by Celebrian. She returned the hug, somewhat confused. Elrond smiled at her relief clear in his steel colored gaze.
"We were worried when we discovered you had left. I am glad no further harm was done to you." Elrond said. The puzzled looks on Celeborn and Galadriel let her know that they had yet to be informed of her actions in Harad.
"Don't hold your breath she was lucky I found her when I did as she was nearly frozen to the core." Glorfindel said making her cringe.
"What? Elves don't feel the cold." Erestor asked worriedly. Glorfindel snorted.
"They do when said elf decides it is a good idea to join their faer with the spirit of a tree in Helcelimbё." The looks of shock and disbelief on their faces made Eruraviel want to bury her head in a wall. Elrond stepped forward and placed his hand on her forehead and she could feel his faer analyzing hers.
"She seems to be well on her way to recovery, she still has some chill to her but that will fade with warmth and time." He told the group and the others nodded relieved. Celeborn then gave her a stern look.
"Why would you risk such a foolish thing? I know you know better than that." He asked in a demanding voice. She raised her hand and pointed at Elrond.
"Blame his ancestor!" Elrond's gob smacked look made her day. Glorfindel snorted in humor beside her.
"What how is that relevant?!" He sputtered.
"I was drawn into a conversation by an ancestor of yours who wanted to warn me about my future and the two paths it could take. It turns out that it was Melian." She said and saw the entire group drop their jaws in shock, even the ever-composed Galadriel. The group stood in silence for a minute before forcefully restarting their brains and moving inside the home. As they entered Elrond's office, she rolled her eyes and blushed slightly when Glorfindel pulled her to sit on his lap.
"So what information were you able to gather about Celebrian's attack?" Celeborn asked.
Everyone but the two visiting elves growled and glowered at Eruraviel. Celeborn turned with a long suffering look on his face.
"What did you do?" He asked. Eruraviel grimaced.
"Well, I found out that the humans came in on a ship in Pelagir. I found this shipping manifest of the craft and travelled there to get more information. The humans were recruited by a figure known as the Lich King who is over seventy and still in fighting condition. He has apparently allied with Sauron in return for becoming king of a fallen kingdom." She said. Judging from the looks on their faces the two easily figured out that the Lich King was from Numenor.
"That is troubling information but it doesn't explain the reaction. So again, what did you do?" Galadriel said. Erestor snorted.
"That is because the elleth thought it was a good idea to go into Harad for the information, without telling anyone." Erestor said as he gave her a dirty look. Eruraviel groaned because she just knew she would be hearing about this for several hundred years. Indeed, for the next several minutes she got to listen to a lecture from both visiting elves over the recklessness of her actions, this was only compounded when they discovered her attack and injuries. She had wanted to run after a minute but Glorfindel's hold was unbreakable.
"Eruraviel I have a question, why did you take to me and my father so easily when we met?" Celebrian asked hesitantly. Eruraviel was silent for a minute as she pondered the answer.
"When I had finally succeeded in killing Thuringwethil, I could hear crying nearby. I didn't want anymore to die if I could avoid it and I found a small elfling crying in the rubble. I picked her up and escorted her to her mother who had gotten separated from her in the chaos. They sailed just days later, and I found out from a passer by that she left one son behind after who was already grown." Eruraviel said and could feel the others paying close attention.
"The mother's name was Gelwellin and her daughter was Mireth." She said and saw Celeborn's jaw had dropped, shock on his face. The others turned to look at him in confusion over his reaction.
"Ada?" Celebrian asked hesitantly. Celeborn swallowed even as his gaze never left Eruraviel.
"Gelwellin was my Naneth, Celebrian. Mireth was my little sister. I thought both had perished as they had been visiting Gondolin when the city fell." Celeborn said quietly. The others looked shocked at the information. Celeborn stood and walked over to her and drew her into a tight hug.
"Thank you, Eruraviel for saving my sister and reuniting her with Naneth. I am glad to know that they sailed and were not killed." Eruraviel smiled and hugged back. Maybe learning to live again wouldn't be so bad, she thought with a smile.