A/N: Almost done! Maybe. Who knows. This is going to be a rather long chapter, I think. I always enjoyed getting in character's heads and this is my opportunity. Anyways, here's the (foreboding) definition of today's chapter:

Labile: in chemistry, biology, psychology - able or likely to change or break down easily, rapidly, or continually; unstable.

Lost

Chapter 11: Labile

The closer he got to the base, the more sick he grew. He hated this place. All it stood for. All its memories his mind had attached to it. He was going to level the place. He kept his hand poised over his saber as he approached the base. He'd attempted to look behind him, but the ship was gone in the sandstorm. He knew she would be safe in the ship though. Safe from him and safe from the base.

"But not safe from the darkness."

Ben faltered in his movements as his voice suddenly surfaced in his mind after all this time. He steadied himself once more, telling himself it was just the darkness influencing him. He was fine. Snoke was dead. There was nothing to worry about. He let out a shaky breath as he trudged on and finally made it into the base. There were piles of sand at the front entrance, he assumed from the constant sandstorms. But he didn't see anyone around. He looked around silently, senses on high alert as he walked slowly through the base hangar. It looked long abandoned. He didn't sense anyone either. All he could sense was Rey in the ship outside. He steadied himself and walked deeper into the base. He had to get this done quick before-

"Before you lose!"

He flinched again. This was getting out of hand. He couldn't give into this figment of his imagination. This was what the influence of the dark side did; it got in your head and twisted everything up. Made you think things you never really thought about. Everything took on a darker feel. No, he couldn't afford for that to happen. He had to keep his senses. He needed a distraction. He heard a laugh in his head and shook his head in irritation. He punched a wall, feeling as if he were losing this fight that went on within himself. Why did that dead man have such an influence over him? Why was he still haunting him after so long?

"Because I'm right about you."

He frowned at that. He opened his mouth to respond to the voice, but he saw troopers walk out. Their helmets were gone. They looked like something out of a horror film. Bloody handprints coated their normally white armor. Their hair was wild and crazy. They had a murderous look in their eyes. They gave him a crazy look that screamed murderous intent. He was glad she wasn't here to see this.

"She'd be fascinated and you know it."

"No," he hissed under his breath as he violently ignited his saber. He stomped toward the troopers, a wild look of his own in his eyes. They engaged, maniacal laughing emitting through the hangar, but it wasn't from him.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

She felt dizzy all of a sudden. She heard his voice enter his head, warning her to stay put. It played over and over again like a mantra. She closed her eyes, replaying his voice over in her head. Just as she settled in, breathing in his scent all in the ship, her eyes snapped open. She stood quickly when she heard his voice through their bond. "Rey!" It sounded the same as when he needed her help at the last base. She opened the ship and quickly left, rushing to the base. She hoped she would make it in time. "Rey! Hurry!" She picked up the pace as she rushed through the sandstorm. The path was cleared for her through the sand, clearing the way up to the base. She ran the small stretch and entered through the side of the building, which she assumed was the entrance.

She looked around at the elevator and stopped when she heard him call out again. "Grab the bag by the elevator. Take it up to the fourth floor." She raised a brow, but did as she was told. As soon as she picked up the bag, she felt odd. Her mind was racing. She felt the feeling starting to take her over as she collapsed back inside the elevator. She hit the button for the fourth floor and winced as she felt her vision tunneling. "Rey?"

"I'm fine... I'm in the elevator." She blinked several times to try to get her senses, but the more she blinked, the more her vision was clouded.

"Reach in the bag and get the dagger."

"The dagger? What do I need a-"

"Just grab it and carry it to the column on the fourth floor. I'll wait for you there." His voice sounded different. Though it could quite possibly be her imagination. But it sounded different. Malicious...? Was that the right word? She debated listening to him when he spoke that way. She was getting a bad feeling about this. Nonetheless, she reached into the bag and grabbed a red cloth that was evidently wrapped around a dagger. She unwrapped the dagger and gasped when she realized it was a sith relic. No wonder she was getting a bad feeling about all of this. She knew something wasn't right. She felt her head start to swim again as the tunnel vision grew worse. And then... it all went black.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Ben sighed as he looked around at all the dead bodies surrounding him. He hated seeing all of this, but knew he couldn't do anything about it to prevent it. He slowly climbed the stairs, ears and eyes peeled for more danger. He was worn out. Those troopers put up more of a fight than he expected. He stopped all of a sudden, a bad feeling taking over him. Something wasn't right. He hesitantly reached out to through the bond and felt it extremely silent. His brows knitted together in concern. He anxiously climbed the stairs, making it to the fourth floor. There were no other guards. At least not here right now. He frowned as the bad feeling he felt mere moments ago resurfaced, stronger this time. There was something off. Something ominous about a silent base that was full of so many troopers before.

He approached the main control center door and saw two troopers standing guard. The crazy look in their eyes was enough to make him wonder what was really behind that door. He ignited his saber and set to work at attacking them, now hell-bent on finishing this quickly. He didn't like the darkness that threatened to pour in. He heard laughter in his mind, as if it were right in his ear. It mocked him. It pissed him off. It was a deadly invitation to lose himself. One that he had no intention of giving in to. The troopers swung their batons relentlessly, Ben narrowly dodging the first and blocking the second with his saber. He always thought this was a good defense against Jedi, but now that he had to go against it himself, he was rather irritated.

He swept his foot against the trooper's legs, knocking him to the ground with a soft groan of pain. Though, he didn't have much time to focus on that one as the other one came barreling toward him at an alarming rate. His eyes widened as he spun out of the way, slashing at the trooper's back with his saber. The voice in his head laughed and mocked more as he winced from the noise. It was starting to cloud his concentration. This wasn't good. He had to finish this quickly. The influence of this place was starting to suck him in. He had to hurry before it completely consumed Rey. If it hadn't already.

The trooper that was on his back on the ground stood and grinned sadistically at Ben. He swung his baton around for a moment, glaring at him up and down, as if sizing him up from head to toe. Ben didn't like the feeling this guy was putting off. The trooper charged at him, his movements erratic. Ben felt his vision going in and out, double to regular. His head was swimming with darkness that threatened to take him over. He growled as the baton landed on his arm holding his saber. Hissing in pain, Ben returned to his senses, eyes meeting the wild, maniacal ones of the possessed trooper. Ben held nothing but hatred in his own eyes for this person standing before him, devoid of his senses. Ben felt his vision starting to shift to tunnel vision. Everything else - his periphery, the background - became a blur till it was black until all he saw was the trooper laughing in his face. And even then... that wasn't for very long. Ben saw nothing except darkness. The voice laughed and purred in his mind. "Good, boy. I see you've realized the benefits of giving in."

Ben's mind wavered only slightly as his body began moving of its own accord. He grabbed the trooper's hand that held the baton, pain long forgotten, and wrenched it backwards, earning him a sickening crack as bone escaped skin. The trooper screamed in great pain, realizing his broken forearm meant more to him than his lapse in sanity. He backed away, nursing it as he growled and grunted at the pain. Veins throbbed and popped out of his skin as the pain only drove him more mad. All the while, Ben stood motionless, waging a silent war within his head, completely unaware of what his body was doing.

"I didn't invite you here," Ben hissed at the voice in his head. All he earned was a laugh. "You need to leave!" he hissed again, all his anger and hatred spat at the image of Snoke that suddenly popped into his sight.

"I don't think you remember who you're talking to, boy," Snoke grinned.

Ben glared at the man before him, darkness surrounding him and the bane of his existence like some twisted arena. There was silence, yet noise all at the same time. He knew this was all in his head, but he didn't understand why he couldn't see anything outside of this thought pattern. He wanted to reach out to Rey to make sure she was all right, but he couldn't bring himself to do so with Snoke standing before him in his mind. Knowing this snake, he'd follow the train of thought to Rey's mind and infect her. He couldn't have that. "What do you want?" Ben hissed at the man, hatred the only tone to his voice.

Snoke only let out a snarling smile. "Isn't it clear?" Ben didn't know what to say to that. No, it wasn't, which was why he was asking in the first place. Snoke only laughed, same condescending manner Ben was so used to. "I want to take away all that you have, boy. Haven't I always taught you that anything else besides power is a distraction?"

"That's not your decision. Last I checked, you're dead and I'm alive."

Snoke faltered for a moment, but it didn't reach his face. All he did was hum in response, arms crossed as he sauntered closer to Ben, closing the gap menacingly. "You can't get rid of me that easily. As long as there is darkness in your mind, I will always be there. It's your own fault for not letting go. Ah, but I would expect nothing less. You always were so good at holding grudges," he said with a smirk. Ben felt his brow twitch at the man goading him. Snoke must have liked that reaction because he started laughing loudly, still advancing like a snake stalking its prey before it strikes. "What do you hope to accomplish with that girl? You think she likes you? Ha!"

"That's none of your business!" A saber appeared in his hand, igniting it as a threat, silently telling him if he gets any closer, he'd cut him to pieces.

"Ohhh, but you're so wrong!" Snoke rasped. The very sound of his voice grated on Ben's nerves. "It's my business when you're giving up everything for the sake of one worthless scavenger!" Ben charged at Snoke, only to be lifted in the air and tossed aside like yesterday's garbage. "Pathetic!" Snoke sneered. Ben scrambled to his feet, saber at the ready as he felt his anger rising. Snoke hesitated for a moment, that sneer growing wider as a sense of pride and challenge consumed his ugly features. "Yes! That's it! Feel the anger, the hatred, the loathing! Let it consume you, Kylo Ren!"

"That's not my name!" Ben growled, quickly launching himself at the disfigured man before him. Against his body's will, he stopped in his tracks, grunting and struggling against the invisible force that held him at bay. His dark eyes grew darker as he glared in disgust at the man before him. He cursed him under his breath, struggling against the slender man's power against him. "Why did you come back!?"

Snoke only laughed in response, lifting him using the Force. When Ben's feet were off the ground, Snoke played with him in the air, batting his hand one way and sending Ben flying. He twirled his wrist, spinning Ben and dropping his wrist to slam him into the black space they stood on. He hit the floor with a grunt in pain. "You have no power here, young Ren. I already told you. As long as you have darkness in your mind and in your heart, I will always come back." Snoke lifted his finger, raising Ben's body once more and spun him around to look at him. "Now. Why not stop playing these ridiculous games, hm? Send the girl away, kill her... do what you must to eradicate this useless distraction."

Ben glared contemptuously at the man that overpowered him. "Never!"

Snoke's voice and face changed, his eyes flashing dangerously, menacingly, murderously. "Utterly useless! This girl has made you soft! Do you really think she values you? Do you honestly believe she won't leave you at the nearest convenience!?"

Ben remained steadfast as he glared down at the unwanted house guest in his mind. Ben had often wondered the same things himself. After all, who would be so crazy to stay with him? He was a murderer. He was such a terrible person beyond forgiveness. He honestly had no idea why Rey was still with him. They'd formed an unlikely alliance on that planet. They had no choice but to stick together while there. But what about when they left? Why had she stuck around?

"Ah, you're starting to see now." Ben's attention snapped back to Snoke. The darkness started to creep in again. It was suffocating him. "It was an alliance of convenience. There's no need for you anymore. She doesn't love you; she never did. After all... who can love a murderer?"

Ben glared hatefully at him. What he said... had some truth to it. How arrogant he was to think he could ever be loved by her. No one would ever love him. He felt his anger, his hurt, his betrayal bubbling up. What a fool he'd been to ever think he ever deserved anything more than hatred. To be anything more to anyone other than useful. But he still couldn't understand why she didn't love him or trust him, even after he'd dissolved the First Order. He called for peace; not war. And yet... she still didn't reciprocate his feelings?

"She'll never love you, boy. Everything has been a lie." Ben's guard started to lower before he realized it. More of the darkness started to seep in. He felt all the years of anger and hurt and pain start to consume him again. As if this was all he would ever be allowed to experience. A monster like him didn't deserve love or compassion or any positive emotion. All he deserved was loneliness, hatred, pain and contempt. "Had it ever occurred to you... that she only told you these things so you'd be left defenseless?"

Ben raised his sight to him for a moment. "I don't... understand..."

Snoke set him down then with a heavy sigh. "It's obvious, boy. How do you disarm your enemy when you know he has a weakness?"

"Exploit the weakness..." It was a mumble. A defeated mumble.

"So you haven't forgotten. Now, you allowed her to exploit your weakness for her. Those blasted feelings that have always been one-sided got in the way and made you get rid of your only means of defense against the Rebellion. You, my boy, are without an army; without a defense; without anything at all but your stupid little saber! You've disarmed yourself! And for what?! Love?! Pathetic!" Snoke reached out and slapped Ben right in the face. Ben remained motionless, as if all the fight was drained right out of him by Snoke's words. He was right. He was defenseless. If she decided to head up the Rebellion against him... he was a dead man. "The only thing left we can do is get rid of her and recruit more people to finally end the Rebellion."

Ben stared at the darkness beneath his feet, all hope completely gone. He thought he found love, but... he was just deluding himself. He fell for her lies. He fell for her trickery. All that kindness was wrong. All those feelings he was made to feel... they were all fake. He felt the sadness, the hatred, the anger, the loneliness, the frustration, the betrayal... all of it was swirling deep inside him and there was nothing he could do. Snoke was right. The darkness hadn't truly left. There was still that one shred of doubt that kept him there. The thought that this was all too good to be true. That it may very well be a lie. He never banished Snoke by clinging to doubt. He shouldn't have expected any less from himself. He knew he wasn't ever going to be happy.

But it didn't hurt any less. "She misled you, boy. No need to keep dwelling on it. We can get the First Order back, but we need to get rid of the girl first." Ben's brows knitted together. Could he really trust his own mind? Was he being paranoid? "Boy, do not doubt me. I may only exist in your mind... but your mind is mine."

That was true. His mind had always belonged to Snoke. Ever since he met him. Ben's eyes glanced up briefly to Snoke's face and then back at the endless void beneath him. He nodded his head silently, a curt nod, showing just how unhappy he was to admit that he was right.

"Good. Now... finish the job you started. Kill the girl."