A/N: This should only be a few more chapters. Sorry about the delay in posting. Work and home life got chaotic! Thanks for sticking around and being patient with me! Sorry if this chapter is a little rushed. I'm having issues concentrating today but I wanted to at least put out something!
Lost
Chapter 12: Light Pt. 1
Ben stood there, staring at the door in front of him. The voice in his head urged him to get it over with and that the last distraction was behind that door. He knew what he would find behind the door. The voice in his head kept telling him to seize the power that awaited him behind the door. Her face flashed in his mind. Everything Snoke said to him. It couldn't possibly be true... could it? Had she actually told him she loved him? Was that in his mind? Was his mind playing tricks on him? Was his doubt making him question reality and fantasy? Was that time they spent together really real? Were they just deluding themselves - was he deluding himself? Was she messing with him?
As these thoughts swirled in his head, his hand reached for the keypad and opened up the door. What he was met with was his worst fear. She stood before him, a mix of anger and ferocity in her gorgeous green eyes. She stared at him with such loathing and condescending apathy that he almost lost his breath. It only stood to reaffirm what Snoke had been telling him all along. She'd never looked at him with such malice before. Maybe it was all just in her head. "Rey, why did you leave the ship?" he asked as he hesitantly walked inside the room. They circled each other live vultures, keeping a healthy distance away in case the other were to attack suddenly.
Rey only grinned as she twirled the dagger in her hand, saber hooked to her hip. "It's cute how you think you can control me. Why did you want me to stay, Ben? Something you don't want me to see?" Ben shot a glare at her then. That wasn't something she would say... was it? Was she in her right mind? Had the darkness claimed her mind, too? Had he failed to protect her? Or were her true sentiments shining through? "Ah... so you're confused. Well... let me shed some light on your confusion!" she snarled as she lunged at him with the dagger in hand.
Ben dodged and grabbed her wrist, wincing at the darkness that came off of the very touch. There was something wrong here. There was something wrong with Rey. The connection they shared was so silent. As if she had locked him out. He was able to access their bond, but it was just... dead. He frowned when she pulled away and kicked at him to create some distance. The voice laughed in his head. He grimaced then. "Boy, why are you hesitating?" He felt his irritation climbing as he stared at Rey.
Rey only grinned at Ben in return. "What do you hope to accomplish, Ben?" she asked as they started to circle each other again, eyes locked and honed in on the other. "Do you want to kill me? Maim me? Save me?"
He tried to reach out to her again through their bond, but all he got was a forceful push in his mind. The darkness swirled in his head from the bond like smoke in an abrupt wind. He tried to clear his mind, searching for the light that he knew engulfed her at one point. She'd managed to reach him when he was unreachable, now it was his turn. But he didn't know if he could with his current situation either. He couldn't reach her mind. And this person standing in front of him wasn't the Rey he knew. It was much darker... less loving. But maybe that went along with the delusion he made himself feel? He didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. There was such a whirlwind of emotions in his mind, all of which were mixing with the influence of the darkness in the area, and Snoke resurfacing in his mind. Though he didn't know if Snoke's resurfacing was because of the dark influence of the base or not. He noticed that she stopped moving, her eyes sliding up and down his figure before her, as if sizing him up. His eyes flicked to the dagger in her hand, knowing that something was off with it. It was a sith relic, that much he knew for sure. No doubt it was influencing her. It wouldn't be difficult with all the darkness surrounding them. "Rey-"
Rey lunged at Ben again with the dagger in hand. Ben dodged, but it was quickly followed up by another swing. He grabbed her wrist again, pushing past the discomfort of the darkness. She swung her fist at his face, Ben barely catching it in his palm and wrenching it downward. He twisted her arm behind her back, twisting her whole body to face away from him as she struggled against him. "Don't make me hurt you, Rey."
Rey started laughing in his arms. "Really? No wonder you're so weak. You can't even do what needs to be done to rid yourself of distractions!" she hissed as she pushed against him, knocking him off balance. He released her wrist on accident, making her swing around and land a punch square on his jaw. He stumbled backwards, hissing in pain. She grinned over at him before reaching over to her side for her saber. "Let's up the stakes, shall we?" she said as she ignited her saber.
"Rey, stop," he growled, the pain throbbing in his jaw.
Rey only rolled her eyes as she spun the saber in her hand. "I suggest you use that as more than an ornament, Ben."
Ben glared at her as the voice in his head snickered relentlessly. This was all a ploy. The darkness was targeting him, using her. Snoke's resurfacing, the dagger Rey had, and her peculiar words she echoed from Snoke earlier. It was all coming together for him. The darkness surrounding this base was trying to get him to kill Rey, but he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't allow himself to take her out. If that meant he would be taken out in the process, then so be it. She stopped circling him then and tsk'd in disappointment. "How disappointing. I expected better from you, Ben." She let out a soft sigh. "Oh, well. Looks like I'll just have to get rid of you then. Such a shame..." she mused before shrugging and lunging at him with her saber. The flurry of attacks came so abruptly that he was on the defensive for far longer than he intended to be. He drew his saber when she got close to getting him and blocked her assault. "Pathetic!" she hissed as the sheer brutality of her swings became more evident with each swing of the dagger and saber alternatively.
Once their sabers clashed again, he used the opportunity to push her away, making her stumble for a brief moment. Once she regained her footing, it was just enough time for him to take on the offensive. He swung roughly at her, knowing she'd block every attack. He tried his best to keep his mind blank as he swung, allowing muscle memory to take over. He had to get that dagger away from her. He knew that, but he tried not to focus on it because the darkness would catch on. It was already a weak spot that would be heavily guarded by her, but if he kept focusing on it, he'd never get it away. So, he continued to pummel her with the saber, pushing her back and when she hit the wall, he force pushed her off to the side to keep it going. He let all his anger and negativity pour out with each violent swing and each dodge and twirl to avoid her attacks, when she was able to get them in. His eyes were dark and full of irritation, hatred, anger. He allowed the darkness to take over just enough until he was able to sense the guard lowering, but not enough to grant full control. He only hoped he'd be able to come back from it. "That's it, Ben! Let the darkness flow through you. Feel the darkness and harness its power!" Snoke hissed in his mind, the grating sound only serving to add aggression to his actions.
He allowed the taunting to go on in his mind as he kept on the offensive. With each annoying phrase, or each gleeful holler from the voice within him, it only drove him even more over the edge. He allowed that anger and all those bad memories to drive him harder and faster. He saw Rey grinning at him as he knocked her off balance one more time, the saber falling to the side and dagger coming up to clash with the saber. His dark eyes flashed dangerously at her green ones. He pushed her into the wall, her back colliding violently with a soft grunt of pain and surprise. He seized the opportunity to wrench the dagger from her hands, lips crashing on hers, seemingly all in one action. The dagger laid forgotten on the floor as Rey slowly regained her senses. He pressed his body against hers, kissing her with all he head and mentally coaxing her to come back to him and let go of the darkness. He screamed her name over and over again in his mind, pushing and beating down the figurative doors to their connection, all but forcing his way into her mind. He sensed the darkness start to dissipate, like fog on a midnight walk in a forest. The closer he got to the innermost part of her mind, the more he started to sense the real Rey.
In his mind's eye, he saw her curled up on the floor of her mind, knees to her chest as the darkness finally released her. He called out to her, her head shooting up to look at him as tears filled her eyes. "Ben," she breathed as she stood and ran to him. As soon as she landed in his arms, he held her tight. In one second, the light poured out from them and banished the darkness from their mind. She tangled her hands in his hair and pressed her lips firmly against his in her mind, bringing back her senses to the present in the base. When he felt her body slack against his, his kiss became more delicate. He hesitantly loosened his grip on her wrist, pinned above her head against the wall. "Ben," she whispered through their connection. That one utterance of his name in his mind cleared all doubts he had in his mind that she cared for him. It may not be love... but it was enough.
He broke the kiss to look down at her, faces still close enough to feel the other's breath on their face. She looked up at him with a soft smile. "Ben, what happened?"
He frowned and shook his head. "Later. We need to get rid of this base." Rey's brows furrowed in confusion, but she nodded silently. "Are you..." She looked up at him again. "Are you... back?"
She smiled warmly at him and nodded. "Yeah."
Something didn't sit right with him. There was something wrong. He didn't know what... but there was still something off. He couldn't tell if it was the darkness around them, or if something was still wrong with Rey, but he was nervous to let her go. "Prove it."
Rey laughed for a minute. "How?"
He frowned for a moment. "Was that planet a dream or real?"
Rey searched his eyes for a few moments. When she found she couldn't answer, she only grinned at him. "Ben... it was just a dream."
Ben instantly tightened his grip on Rey again and sighed. "Nice try," he said, earning a nasty glare from her. He glanced back at the main column and inwardly groaned to himself. He'd need to man-handle her if he had any hope of destroying this base. He looked down at her again. "Sorry."
"Sorry for-"
Ben hit a spot on her neck and her whole body went limp in his arms. He sighed when he lugged her over his shoulder. He quickly walked over to the panel at the center column, typed in a few things and started the self-destruct sequence. The countdown rang on the overhead speakers, but his mind didn't process any of it. His mind was in a blur. He rushed down the stairs, carrying a limp Rey on his shoulders, both sabers attached to his hip. He knew that once they got off the planet, everything would be ok. He just had to get her off of here.
Before he knew it, he was at the bottom floor. He rushed out of the base, barreling through the sandstorm that kicked up as if the planet was trying to stop him from leaving. To no avail. He made it to his ship, plopped down, sat her in his lap, unconscious against him as he started the ship and took off in a hurry. He didn't want to be anywhere near the base when it exploded. The reactor alone was enough to cause some major damage to his ship if he was caught in the blast. He sped out of the atmosphere, never looking back as she breathed heavily in his lap. He set autopilot, looking down at her with evident concern. "Rey?" he called, gently shaking her. She showed no signs of waking up. All she did was groan and scrunch her face up as if she were having some kind of inner conflict. He stared down at her face, gently moving the hair from her cheek. He hesitantly reached out in their bond, prodding at her mind.
He got through without much interference. As he visualized her headspace, he looked around, searching for her and calling her name over and over again. He had to find her. Before he could do so, he was thrown out, eyes opening with a gasp. "Rey...?"