Chapter 3
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"Do you think that's the place?"
Tapping on his keyboard, he nodded, peering in. "Yeah… Hey, looks like they got their own thing going on. Looks nice."
"…-Are those Keitval-Masston Terraforming engines? In the middle of a major urban centre."
"Ha, some kind of bodged together low-grade imitation. But cooler than anything I saw on Earth Prime. Seems like this civilisation has done some interesting things on its own. I guess old evolution guy didn't need my brain after all."
"It appears that there have been some major areas of social strife in the past. Including something in this city a few years back."
"Right… Nighthowler crisis? I… Urghh… I'm now thinking these guys are lucky to have not been asteroid by the jerk."
"It was meant to be a long-term isolated experiment."
"He committed planetary genocide because a squid guy decided to sell some meth in a back alley."
"Right, I…" She took a breath in. "Any luck in finding your friends?"
"I…" He sighed. "I know they were dropped into this city. Same names, I think he thought it might stir something. Basic records and recordings but…"
"But?"
"It's a city. What am I supposed to do, go in there in a spaceship and just explain everything to them. Oh, and ask for three mammals to see if they want to be abducted or not?"
"We'll find a way."
"Right, three out of however many millions."
"Four."
"Huh?"
"Four subjects."
"No, there were three. Lylla, Teefs and Floor."
"And a fourth," she said, tapping the screen.
"What the…" He began, looking on before freezing, ears going back. He slumped into his seat, wiping his face with his paws. "Oh great, this is gonna get metaphysical. Isn't it?"
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Walking inside the observation room, Lylla followed the police rhino's hoof to the waiting steps, scrabbling her way up it to look through the one-way mirror. Beyond, five walruses sat. She didn't know if they were all from the one boat that Floor had talked about, or just picked off the streets. All she knew was that one of them was Teefs. "That one there," she said, her voice hushed as he pointed at the one second from the right.
There was nothing that stood out about him. Nothing that looked different or unusual. He was an ordinary, non-unusual, run of the mill walrus.
Called Teefs.
Who she'd shared a cage with.
Who'd been her friend, who'd been implanted with artificial eyes and an integrated wheelchair unit, and was her friend.
Who she'd flew through the forever sky with…
She blinked, unsure where that one had come from. Either way, it was a moot point.
"I presume that one?" the rhino asked.
She realised she was up against the glass, her metal paw… -No, her real life fur and flesh webbed paw, splayed out on the cold translucent barrier. "Y-yes," she said, turning to him before looking back. "Can I talk to him, please, it's…"
"In time," he cut in. "We've been instructed on how to operate this investigation."
She looked down and nodded. "Of course, I understand."
He waved her off, letting her wait in a side room as Floor was brought in to give her input. The otter wasn't allowed to speak with her or even meet with her, lest some unconscious prompt run across between them.
Instead the mustelid was just left to pace the floor, the minutes stretching out into hours and hours as she felt her heart pull towards her lost friend. The need to be with him after so long apart.
Finally, though, a knock on the door signaled her back to the room.
Up the steps she climbed, stifling a sob as she saw those on the other side. "Rocket…" He was there, he was right there, standing and looking confused. But it was him, oh god it was him. Her legs trembled and she felt the sob burst up out of her, her beloved racoon standing there. Pointing him out, the rhino just nodded, standing back as she held herself tight. "My beloved Raccoon…"
She remembered telling him that, surrounded by white light in an endless place. Knowing it was what he needed to hear, what he needed to know. That he wasn't a mistake, that he wasn't a stupid experiment to be thrown away, that he had friends and loved ones who needed him.
But she didn't know who they were.
She didn't know…
She didn't…
"Ma'am?" the rhino asked, as she looked up at him. "Are you okay?"
"N-no," she whispered. "I…" She shook her head, just letting him lead her back into the waiting room.
She lay on the bench, looking up at the ceiling. Not the sky, the ceiling. White tiles in a white grid, flashing to harsh dark greys and backlit reds and oranges in the wake of the occasional blink.
Where was it she'd told him that last stuff.
When…
She shook her head. It felt a million years after… And before… And… She closed her eyes and stood up, trying to take in a breath, trying to steady herself and fix her mind in position.
She'd always worked with those with mental and learning difficulties, not those with major psychological problems.
But that didn't mean she didn't know, hadn't heard stories, hadn't…
Was this how it started?
For those who had ordinary lives, only for them to break down. She'd heard of those who fell down the slope after a bad trip or something, a bit of 'harmless experimentation' gone horribly wrong.
What if this consumed her.
Destroyed her.
She curled in on herself, hugging her tail under her chin and rocking herself back and forth. She wanted… No, she didn't want Rocket, Rocket was just an imaginary friend. This was silly, this was silly! Looking up through blurry eyes, she knew who she really wanted.
Her mother.
Her father.
To hold her, cradle her, say it was okay.
She told it to herself over and over, trying to make it seem like it was true.
The creak of the door didn't break her from her distress, nor did the first soft call of the rhino.
A few minutes later, a familiar voice did though. She looked up, sniffing the newly popcorn scented air and laying her eyes on her therapist.
She'd always considered her… A friendly mammal. Many times before she'd dismissed why she needed a therapist, given her acceptance of her dreams, though she'd oft chosen to keep on the occasional visit just for the convenience of someone to vent to.
Patient-doctor relationship guidance aside, she raced forward and grabbed the leg of the binturong, holding on tight as she blurted and poured out anything and everything in a tearful, sniff and snot filled mess of a rant.
By the time it ended, she was still holding on, a large paw on the back of her head. A final choke. "So," she said, looking up, her lip quivering. "How not sane am I?"
Dr Amy Lupuleli's ears pulled back, knocking into fur tufts behind them. "Lylla," she said, settling back down. "I cannot offer any firm words of advice, anything objective, anything that will instantly give you answers. If anything, I am as confused by this as you are. What I can say is this. There is something going on here, something we're getting to the bottom of. And it will be tricky, it will hurt, it will mean you have to be strong and brave. And no, it isn't fair that it's you."
"D-do I have to do this?" she whimpered.
"No. You can leave at any time, get a job in a different facility, leave this all behind you. That's your right. But before you do, do you believe it will solve these issues you have? Will it give you the answers you desire. And if not, can you live with never having them."
Lylla looked on, paw fussing with her red eyes. "No…" she whispered. "I suppose not."
Her therapist nodded. "The truth isn't always nice, or comfortable, or even pleasant. It can be cruel, unfair and unjust. But what truth gives you is a firm certainty on which to build out from."
Unexpectedly, but in what she'd take as a good sign, the otter gave a short sharp laugh. "I think the full truth for this would really freak a lot of people out."
"So be it," she said, pausing to look at the door. The rhino had come in again, gesturing at his watch. "Come on," her therapist said. "We need to get you cleaned up for the next part."
"N-next part?"
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"There's the planet."
"Just like Counter-Earth. An almost perfect replication."
"Almost, I… Ha, I see that Xenon layer. I'm going to be rubbing that one in."
…
"Are you okay Rocket?"
He was silent, looking out at the window. Grabbing a scanning screen and looking in, he focussed on the outline of the biome districts.
"They're down there… Somewhere…"
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Breathing in, breathing out, Lylla looked at herself in the mirror. The tear stains on her fur had mostly been cleared off. Her eyes were still red.
"Listen," a voice cut in from behind her. "They're getting quite annoyed with this and honestly I can't blame them."
"She's not ready yet."
"This isn't the kind of thing we delay because someone's not feeling well."
"The entire point of this experiment is moot if they all see the tear-stained otter and pick her," Dr Amy spoke, her voice echoing in from outside the door.
Moving away from the mirror, she opened the door and looked up, the two larger mammals looking down at her.
"Give her a half hour," the Binturong stressed. "It'll do a world of difference. -Can't you do all the others first?"
"We have," the Rhino said. "It's just her left, and a bunch of other otters getting impatient. Which is almost not cute at this point."
"Just half an hour more," the bearcat stressed. He nodded, and so she retreated into a waiting room, the news playing on in the background. Not much going on, some news about a new asteroid being detected, swinging around the earth before shooting back out to the sun.
Another painful wait and, after giving herself a wipe in front of the mirror, it was felt she was ready. Eyes pink, but not obviously so. Tear tracks and fussed up fur fully cleaned. Clothes patted down.
She walked out, following his guidance into a familiar room. One she'd seen twice before, only in those cases from behind the mirror in front of them.
Already an otter was waiting there, a decade or so older than her but still fairly young looking. Lylla almost asked where she'd got that purple sweater with the little fish patterns before realising it was probably homemade or something. She turned forward, breathing out, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible.
"-Oh hello."
"-H-hi," Lylla said, looking over at the otter. "I… What is this wait, huh?"
Right then and there she wanted to slap herself, only for the fellow otter to thankfully carry on regardless. "I know," she sighed. "Do a little favour, they said. It'll be one to tell the kits when they get home from school they said." She rolled her eyes. "One to tell them when I get home from here more like, my husband had to close down his shop and everything."
"Well… The ZPD, what do you expect, huh?"
The other otter grunted. "You don't know the slightest."
"-Lylla?"
The otter perked up, looking over and letting her eyes widen as she saw a familiar face there. "Sam?"
"What a place to meet again, huh?" the other otter asked, laughing and walking over. She passed another otter who'd come in in the meantime, fussing with her claws, and hugged the otter. "You know, I haven't seen you since that last swimming lesson."
"Not the one where I fainted?" Lylla managed to say.
"Oh no, no. We should really meet up more, do you have your number?"
"I… -After this is sorted."
"Of course, of course," she said, leaning in up and close before whispering. "So… Who do you think's the bad one?"
"Huh?" Lylla asked.
"Oh come on," Sam whispered into her ear. "One of those three did something to get themselves here." She gestured back at the other two otters and a third who'd entered in to complete a lineup. "Which one do you think is the master criminal, huh?"
"I…" Lylla began, claws slowly poking against each other. "Maybe not have this discussion next to them, you know…"
"-You know we can all hear you, right?" the otter who'd come in with Sam said.
A quiet awkwardness filled the room.
"-Okay," the otter carried on, looking towards the two-way mirror. "Yes, I hit on your Fox cop once. No, If something has happened to him, it ain't me."
"Well," Lylla said, "I suppose that settles that question."
"-You mean something happened to Officer Wilde?" the purple dressed otter asked, turning to the other one in alarm.
She looked back. "I don't know, they just pulled me in here. Do a line-up they asked."
The purple clad otter shook her head. "Well in that case you won't be in trouble for anything, they tell you you're a suspect first, then do the lineup."
The room was silent for a second or two before three furred faces turned to the one at the end. She looked back, blinking. "W-what! I'm not here for anything. You think I'd waste all your time this much?"
"Well, I know it's not me," Sam laughed, turning back to Lylla and giggling some more. "There a side you haven't told me about, Lylla."
"N-n-no…" the otter tried to chuckle away.
The tapping of a voice over the intercom came as a blessed relief. An instruction to get in line, to wait, to hold there…
Some time later, she thought she saw the mirror in front of her shake ever so slightly, as if a massive mammal had hauled himself up to look through.
Some time later they were told that they could go.
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"We're not a spacecraft, we're a moon…"
"What?"
"I… Oh come on, remember that movie we watched back during the blip. The one Peter always went on… -Forget it."
"-I think I remember. And get what joke you were trying to say." She looked on at the data banks. "You've hacked into their systems."
"Uh-hu, thankfully it seems that Lylla is an uncommon name. Teefs and Floor and Rocket even more so. Seems that… Seems that something has come up, with them."
"Good or bad?"
"I… I don't know."
Some keyboard tapping to his side, she spoke out. "They're remembering."
…
"That's a good thing, right? It…"
"They could have had perfect lives down there. Perfect ordinary lives. But… But it's tainted! Even in a new life, he's screwed them over!" He slammed his paws down on a keyboard, marching away.
She watched him go before following on. "I thought you wanted to meet them again."
"I WANTED TO KNOW THEY HAD GOOD LIVES!" he screamed back. His teeth were bared, eyes were wide. His breath heaved in and out before he looked away. "Look at it down there! A perfect little world. With perfect, non fucked up talking, living, thinking animals. No bits of metal, no screwed up brains, no horrible bits of mutations or whatever. That's better than anything we ever got. Better than anything I can give them. But no, he couldn't give them that. He had to crawl back into it, somehow."
He marched off, the blue figure starting to go after him only to stay put where she was. She could at least see this was a sensitive situation. She'd need to work this out before talking to him.
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"So they all recognised each other?"
"Mostly," Officer Buckhorn agreed, looking through his report. The ibex spread out a set of papers, one for each of the four mammals. "Lylla Pinerus, Fleur Lopear and Jonas Teis Isfødt all recognised each other instantly. Their reactions were remarkable. Lylla broke down, especially on seeing Bradley Wutki. Fleur was generally… joyous. Honestly the most interesting reaction was with Jonas. This guy was all macho, not getting it, but on seeing Fleur for the first time… -You could see his skin go pale. Going on about how they were all real."
Dr Capra nodded. "From what we gather, like the others he used to have lots of drawings, imaginary friends, etcetera."
"In his… Whatever you call a baby walrus-hood…"
"Calf."
"-Calfhood," he carried on. "Though by the age of ten or eleven he'd pretty much grown out of them."
"Rationalised as imaginary friends, dreams, he wasn't in therapy or anything…"
Buckhorn nodded his head. "Honestly feeling guilty now, he was living happily and we screwed it all up."
Capra shrugged, leaning over to another file. "What about the raccoon. Rocket?"
"Bradley Wutki is the odd one out," Buckhorn carried on, filing through.
Indeed, the sheep agreed. "Adopted into a raccoon family early on, he certainly had the same kind of imagination as the others… If anything far more advanced, though you could also put that down as kithood imagination." He filed through the drawings, lots of rocket ships… Well, not rocket ships per-say, but certainly spaceships. And lots of strange alien creatures too. Green, blue, purple, pink… Tree. There was even an otter there, in one case with robot arms, but most…
"-He recognised Lylla like the rest," Buckhorn said. "Jonas and Fleur though took a lot longer, he ended up guessing between two for Jonas."
"But he did get all of them, right?"
"You have us there… Now what?"
Dr Capra sighed. "Well, you're the ones who can look into where they were dropped off, see if there's any witnesses, other cases, camera footage…"
The ibex looked up at him incredulously. "How long do you think these places keep video records?"
"I don't know…"
"Don't you run them?"
The sheep sighed. "No, not that part, just… -What more do you think these four mammals can give."
"I don't know, have you tried hypnotherapy on them?"
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"Your parts don't change who you are, you know?"
He looked up at her, sneering.
She ignored him, sitting down. "I know more than anyone how you feel. Consistent failure, pain, being upgraded and upgraded in order to satisfy the ego of someone who never will be." She looked away. "Coming to the realisation that Thanos was an insufferable mad-man and that satisfying him was a pointless endeavour was an easy source of liberation."
"I guess seeing him turned to dust was a more satisfying one."
"Coming to the realisation that satisfying myself was what mattered what a much more difficult one."
…
"What do you have to fear from her?"
"Her fear?"
She tilted her head.
"-I… When I died, I saw them. One last time. It might be real, it might not be. But they… She, told me what I needed to hear. In terms of last memories, it's about as perfect as I can get. I don't want it to be replaced with her fleeing from a freak popped out from her nightmares."
"You're not a freak. You're a raccoon. And there is an otter out there who by the reports has not forgotten you."
He looked away, grumbling.
"Go down, see her."
…
"Or I could just bring her up here and…"
"-LEAVE HER ALONE!"
She smiled. "There's an easy way to make me."
"You…" He hissed, "don't know what's it's like, feeling like this. It's not like I don't want to meet her! But… But…"
"Everything that can go wrong is running through your head, and you refuse to consider what can go right."
"Yeah, yeah, we don't live in a love story you know!"
"We do live in real life though. A real life that played out well for Peter. For Drax. Why not you?"
…
"Or I could collect Peter and we could force this issue."
He looked up and hissed, before marching off.
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Walking up to the secure care centre, Lylla was quiet. She tagged in and started her work, saying hi to Floor and Tabi and Maisy and the other nurses.
She settled down next to the white rabbit, smiling and nodding a little for her sake as she showed her the picture she'd made.
Far off in the distance of a great white space, she stood with her metal arms, holding a tearful Rocket.
The otter slowly spoke through the words she remembered saying. In that white space, endless and lost in time and the forever and beautiful sky. The words he needed to hear, the words she knew she had to say… Before he was sent back, for an infinity and an instant, before they would be together again.
All as she remembered.
Or the hypnotherapist made her think.
No…
She shook her head.
She remembered bits of that before, from her point of view.
And here it was, turning up in Floor's session. By a different hypnotherapist.
A hush came over the room as the other nurses led Tabi and Maisy out, the latter starting to make a fuss but being pulled out by strong words from the badger nurse.
The room was quiet as Lylla put the picture away and held Floor close, the sound of the main airlock doors opening and closing as a new mammal came in.
Able to finally visit, now they'd been given the go ahead.
Floor turned and squealed with delight, jumping over and up into the belly of Jonas. Or as she knew him… "TEEF! TEEF!"
"Hello there little one," he smiled, cradling her with one of his flippers before slipping off of his motorised mobility platform. "Hey there… Floor." He looked up. "Lylla."
She held in a sob, looking down and up. "Teefs."
"Jonas, but I don't see any issue with being called Teefs. Though maybe in a sort of middle name way."
"I…" She choked back a sob. "Lylla. Only Lylla."
"Teefs wasn't the most creative name," he smiled, wiping a moist eye with a flipper. He breathed out, sighing.
"You… You holding up okay?" the otter asked.
He nodded. "Good, good…" His gaze slowly moved, pausing over the picture Lylla had drawn.
"I only remembered that in the hypnotherapy. You, and your beloved Raccoon."
Her face winced up and she ran, jumping up against him and holding him tight as she sobbed out and out, over and over. About how she'd missed him. Something he agreed with over and over.
They soon settled back down. Most of the time occupying Floor, Jonas Teefs Isfødt giving some long explanations for the tattoos on his skin, often leading to long explanations over some of the philosophical ideas that had inspired him. Some of which struck Lylla oddly appropriate, given the situation they'd found themselves in.
He was nervous at first, wondering if it'd just confuse the white bunny. It certainly confused the other fisher mammals he worked with, not that he cared. They were personal concepts and ideas that he found valuable or insightful. But Floor seemed enraptured regardless, and Lylla listened on in rapt attention.
Still, the gnawing absence in their midst weighed ever and ever more intolerably over them.
All until the sound of a knock on the door turned their attention up and away.
Floor's ears had shot up. "Rocket here! Rocket here!"
It was Lylla though who made the move, slipping out and then racing towards the door. ID card out, the reader chirped and she pushed aside into the safety lobby, closing it as fast as she could so she could open the outer door.
As soon as she could she raced to the second card reader, she clicked it open, she squeezed out the gap and froze.
In front of her, the door on a pickup was slamming closed, the engine starting up. "Rocket…"
She began racing forwards, seeing the figure of a raccoon in the driver's seat. It was him, it was him! "Rocket!"
He pulled out, the vehicle turning, his head darting around… And for a second their eyes met.
She looked into his, her beloved raccoon… As he looked back, panicking, terrified, eyes misting up…
And then she was facing the back of the vehicle as it jerked to a stop and raced forwards. "ROCKET!"
It kept going, racing out the end of the drive and turning, speeding off into the distance. "ROCKET! WAIT! PLEASE! PLEEEAAASSSSEEEE!"
She tripped over herself, a sudden sting of stitch in her side sending her almost onto all fours. Not that she cared, she pushed up with her hands and kept going, her tiny legs pointlessly trying to push her along. All as the stitch clawed in, further and further and further… Until she collapsed for good, heaving, feeling sick… And curling into herself, bawling out.
Cries filling the parking lot.
All until a large firm presence held onto her back, patting her there, saying it'd be okay over and over.
Finally, wiping her newest set of tears away, she looked up. Teef was there above her, having hauled himself across the hard surface manually. "It's okay," he said.
"But… But…"
He held her in close. "It's okay friend. It's okay…"
She nuzzled her head into his chest, trying to dry her tears.
Finally, the realisation that poor Floor would probably be in distress as well forced her to go back.
It was there, at the door, they saw the envelope for the first time.
Carefully, they brought it in. Sitting down at the kitchen table with Floor, opening it up and reading it out.
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Dear Lylla, Teef and Floor…
I… Don't know where to start here to be honest. Here I was, thinking I was an ordinary mammal, living an ordinary life. I had an imagination as a kid you know, my parents and the teachers always said that. Even if some comments about my stories were… Worried, to say the least.
Then again I think I gave them a lot to be worried about. I wasn't the most well behaved kit.
But… It was just imagination, until they called me in. I wasn't sure at first, who you were. Even seeing you in the fur, I pointed you out, but it was like the rhythm to a song who's name you can't remember. Distant, gone…
But you know it means something.
It was the hypnotherapy that did it for me.
I saw a lot.
A whole great big lot. Man, if acid is like this, I see where those hippies were coming from.
Anyway, I get who you were now, all of you. How we were meant to be together, how I was stolen from you, how you came back when I most needed you.
And then, how I found you again.
We lived a good life together.
And then…
Well, a memory of little ol' me on the potty happily telling my parents I'd…
Well, you get the idea.
The point is, whatever happened, I think there's some out of order stuff going on or something. We were destined to have a life together, and somewhere, in my heart, I know I already have… And that for you, it'll come. Eventually.
I don't know when.
All I know is that around you, I feel these crazy feelings. These dangerous feelings. Feelings for someone I feel I hold so dear, yet know so deep down that I've had my turn with.
I have a new beloved at the moment, new friends. And I fear that if I try and go with you, I'll be stolen away from them.
Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm a coward.
And I'm sorry, but I can't be your beloved Raccoon.
Because I fear that you, my beloved Otter, will take me from who I am meant to spend this life with.
Have a good life, I hope you have the travels you deserve in your forever and beautiful sky.
Once yours.
Bradley (Rocket) Wutki.
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Attached to it was a small picture, and Lylla teared up as she saw her Rocket, sitting next to a female raccoon, a small baby kit on her lap.
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What followed was a warm yet sad meeting between the three, letting their time together go ticking past. In the end they parted, Lylla and Jonas agreeing to keep in contact.
After all, it was good to have friends.
Driving along, the otter made her way back home, stopping off at the store along the way to pick up some of the cheapest, unhealthiest, downright awful addictive comfort food she could get her paws on.
Parking up, she pulled the boot door down and turned, freezing still where she was.
The bags slipped from her paws, the sound of glass bottles clinking against the tarmac ringing out.
The otter didn't register it.
She just stood there.
Staring.
The raccoon in front of her staring back, looking just as terrified.
Finally, his voice cracking, he managed one single word. "Lylla…?"
"Rocket?"