DISCLAIMER: Let's get this out of the way. I do not own or have any hope of ever owning the characters or happenings of middle earth. They belong to Tolkien and as far as I'm concerned he can keep them. For now. I do however, own my OC, Kidhuzel! So don't steal her. Please, feel free to leave any comments and/or questions that you may have. Follow the story in which ever way you would like, but make your thoughts known but be polite while you do it. Thank you!

~~~~~~~~~~Shishi~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 18

Bilbo believes in a great many things. He believes that any gardener worth his salt should know the key to growing Patagonias. He believes that every good cup of tea should be accompanied by scones. Even more so, he believes that Kidhuzel is going to get the two of them killed. Holding on to the half drake for dear life, the hobbit clenches his jaw to keep from biting his tongue as the pair free falls through the tunnel. Thanks to the dam, each thump their bodies that would have made on the hard stone is mulled by the icy slide she creates. The swishing of cloth on ice is echoed by chilling barks of laughter from the girl.

"I-I-I-I hate to i-i-i-interrupt but-" a gaping hole in the ground dumps the pair roughly into a bone cage much to the Shireling's horror. El watches in mild amusement as her companion dizzily climbs to his feet "That was... quite intense."

"I agree!" she chirps sweetly before wrinkling her nose at the scent of goblin. Looking into the distant, where she senses both her bearer and mate, El starts in that direction "Now Bilbo... Bilbo? Whatever are you doing?"

The poor hobbit wiggles helplessly to dislodge the scaly skinned goblin from his back while El looks on in disinterest. He teeter from side to side, but wisely draws his sword to his defense. It would be more useful if the hobbit knew how to wield the glowing weapon, thus El gives him a moment t make the attempt. He shrieks loudly as the creature bites his pointed ear causing El to comically roll her eyes. Moments before she reaches forward to aid her companion, Bilbo missteps right off the side of the pathway and plummets into the darkness.

"Ah..." her hand freezes in it's motion to grab her friend as she hears the dwarves from up ahead begin shouting her bearer's name. A quick glance in the direction is enough for her companion to slip from her sight. Placing her fist to her chin, El sucks in breath before coming to a decision "Well... If he is dead, it will be a waste to chase his corpse. If he lives... then he will be fine until I find him again."

Nodding to herself, Kidhuzel turns on her heel, flicks her hood over her head, and jogs down the bridge toward the echoing voices. At the end is a large lit cavern filled to the brim with vile creatures. The walls are lined with as many broken wood panels as there dead bodies. Entrails and leathery flesh hang from corpse, or what one would hope are corpse, while others have been reduced to mere skeletons. Legions of goblins in varying colors line the ground, ceiling, and walls; clinging to the surfaces with clawed appendages. Scraps of cloth hang form but a scarce few of the creatures, most scurrying around in the nude. It matters little, as their skimpy genitals are nearly nonexistent. Their pale bulging eyes, a characteristic developed from their nocturnal lifestyle, are all trained on the small group of dwarves huddled around Thorin. The largest goblin, most likely the king-

"Well, well, well! Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, king under the mountain." The mock bow does nothing to ease El's curiosity as she inches closer, completely unafraid. Something in the tone of the goblin king's- El hesitates a moment before scenting the air and shuddering "But I'm forgetting something, aren't I. You don't have mountain and you're not a king. Which makes you... nobody really."

"You are female." El finally speaks up, causing every head in the room to turn and face her. Dwalin nearly swallows his tongue, her bearer merely looks impatient, and the rest of the company appear to have forgotten how to breathe. Neither of her charges are harmed, thus El continues to fulfill her curiosity "Are you not?"

"And what" the large goblin sneers at the new comer with disdain "is THIS creature? A whore?"

"I have not been charged to that duty."

"Me thinks it's anotha dwarf, your malevolence." A bony naked body saunters up to El's side and grabs her arm roughly. Yanking it toward his face, he takes in a deep breath while dragging the girl forward. As this grants El a better view of the she-goblin, she allows it. Once standing between the races, the goblin cackles "It's a female, this one. Them's lots o' fun."

"Hm." The great goblin takes El's chin in a meaty palm, turning her this way and that before scoffing. Flicking a hand in dismissal, El is dragged to the side of the cavern "There is no fear in that one's eyes, though I'm sure that can be remedied later. Save her for after I have broken our first guests."

"Yes, your regalness."

As the half drake is shoved into a rickety cage, she supposes that it is a good thing that her eccentric features are hidden. Had they been uncovered, a battle would have surely broken out and she would not have been able to study the goblin queen. Watching her wave the gnarled scepter as her subjects gaze up at her in amazement, El is reminded of another animal.

"I know someone who would pay a very pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps-"

"So this is like a bee hive." Interrupting to gain confirmation, the dam speaks over the gobliness while gazing about her surrounding. Plenty of male worker bees and only a few females "You, the queen, are much larger than your subjects, the colony."

"What-"

"Do you mate with them all as well? I suppose you are usually on the bottom?" the dwarves give her blank wide eyed stares; their mouths hanging open in horror "Then again, with so many to choose from, I suppose it doesn't matter if they survive the ordeal."

"Someone shut her-"

"But if you wanted them to live , you'd be on the bottom right? My mate was on top and it was awfully bad if I do say so. Do you use oils or-"

"Enough!" Dwalin shouts in a hoarse voice just as a goblin opens El's cage to try and shove a dirty cloth into her mouth "Just... Just shut up, would ya!?"

"... How rude."

"... As I was saying before... that..." the great goblin snaps her head back toward Thorin, causing her pus filled scrotum beard to swing. 'Or perhaps it is a displaced, milk-laden teat.' The young woman silently expresses her scrutiny, eyeing the creatures excessively round, possibly breeding, belly "You know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg."

"Azog the Defiler was destroyed." despite being clearly distressed from the news, as well as the notion that the goblin before him is quite possibly female, Thorin refuses to be cowed. Glancing not at his weapon on the ground, but the one in the cage, the king searches her face for any discomfit. Finding it clear of anything save wonder, the dwarf knows he is not in any immediate danger "He was slain in battle long ago."

"Is that right? So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" pointing to the dangling caged half drake, the enormous goblin cackles in mirth "You think he wouldn't split your little pet in two?"

"Ye think he'd ever wanna split YE in two?"

Bofur hadn't meant for the comment to slip out but it did and it causes a collective groan to escape his fellow prison mates. Swallowing the bile that rises from his belly when the bulbous creature turns yellow eyes on him, Bofur curses his big mouth. The group is forcibly separated, leaving Bofur to stand alone as the goblin towers over him. It takes everything in the dwarrow not to strike the being, knowing it would be a battle he would lose but the desire is there. Even more so when rancid breath hits his face as the goblin pulls him nearly nose to nose.

"You first, dwarf." without turning, the queen gives a command to her messenger "Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his prize. And as for you... pants off."

"Ah?"

Without warning, the goblin charges the smaller dwarf and begins tearing at his clothes. It takes but a moment to realize that the threat was not of Azog taking the dwarf, but of the dwarf taking the goblin. Thus, Bofur begins to struggle in earnest in an attempt to free himself from a very unwelcome bedmate. His screams of bloody murder, do in fact irritate the goblin enough to cause her to deviate from her path.

"No?" she says, grinning through rotten teeth, watching in amusement as the dwarf gathers his clothes and remains a twitching mass in the center of his once more huddled group "Don't say I never offered."

El, for the most part, lost interest in the happenings the moment her carrier was no longer the direct focus. She instead listens to the hissing call of pure power. It rises from deep in the mountain and caresses her skin like the lovers in the stories she read. All the whispered promises mean nothing to the half drake as she would be under it's control as much as she is her bearer's, and now mate's. Aside from that, any power it could grant her would never be fully hers. For like her, there is only one whom she can truly ever follow.

"While we wait for the festivities to begin, hows about a song, hm?" an overzealous goblin approaches the queen, vicious nodding his head in agreement to her suggestion. He looks as though he is moments from humping his queen's leg but he is not who the question was directed to. Pointing the staff at the cluster of dwarves, the matriarch tilts her head in suggestion "Or would you prefer our previous activities?"

"A song! A song! A bloody good song!" Bofur howls instantly, for which no one blames him for, not even Dwalin. At least his proposed bed mate is only half evil and has a good face "Anything is better than.. than that!"

"I thought you might say that." clearing her throat meaningfully, the goblin screeches in tune with the torture devices pouring into the room "Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung, and you'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung. You will die down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin town. Everybody now!"

Like a morbid party, the other goblins join into the song. Some even leap up and begin a gangling dance. El takes it all in with mild fascination before growling in defense as a wily beast plucks up Thorin's sword. The blue light immediately floods out as El moves to escape her cage and defend her bearer just as the creature lets out a shriek. She has just about got the latch undone when the goblin queen rears back in her seat.

"I know that sword! It is the Goblin-cleaver! The Biter! The blade that sliced a thousand necks!" pointing out towards the defensive dwarves, the gobliness forgets that she is saving them for a certain pale bodied devil "Slash them, beat them, peel them, kill them all!"

"Off!" leaping from her cage with a snarl, El tears the face ff of the goblin that aimed to pierce Thorin's neck "Never him!"

"Kill him!" the she-goblin commands in return "Cut off his head!"

"Over my dead body!" El states, lunging for the large creatures neck, only to be blinded by a suddenly invasive light. Hissing in annoyance as she is thrown backward, along with all friends and foes, the girl is the first to climb to her feet "Wizard! You are late!"

~~~~~~~~~~Shishi~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, hey, hey! It''s been a while. I'm sorry. I write this story on one laptop and then transfer it to the other. It's just how I roll. Regrdless, its here now! YMR and obsessedreader are my reviewers, so thank you two. See ya when I see ya. ~Shishi