He arrives on Rava's doorstep without calling first. He fully expects to have the door closed on him, the perfect end to a perfect day, but one look at his pleading face and she steps aside to let him in.
"The kids are asleep," she says, shutting the door quietly.
"Yeah, I thought they would be."
She gestures for him to sit down and he does. She sits opposite him. They're being very polite, like he wasn't screaming at her in the street the last time they met.
"So, congratulations on the deal going through."
"I didn't want the deal to go through."
"Still, you're even richer now and you're free of your dad's company."
"It was supposed to be my company."
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too." He clarifies, "I'm not applying for custody."
"I didn't think you would."
"You were right, not to bring them to the funeral. It was pretty rough."
"How's Roman?" she asks. He looks at her. "I'm too online, remember? I saw the video…"
"Right." He remembers holding Roman in the church, then remembers pressing Roman's bleeding head against his shoulder in their dad's office as his brother struggled. "He'll be okay."
"What about you?"
"I don't know. It hasn't really sunk in yet." He doesn't know whether he means his father's death, losing the company, or something else.
Rava looks sympathetic. He remembers the last time they had sex, in this room, on a chair that is no longer here. The "we are not breaking up"/"yes we fucking are" sex.
"I love you," he had whispered defiantly, reaching up and pushing the hair out of her eyes.
"Stop," she whispered. He stopped moving.
"No, don't stop that. Stop saying the L word."
"Oh, okay," he said, and resumed thrusting enthusiastically.
The memory has a noticeable effect, as Rava sighs and points at his crotch area. "Should I ask why that is happening?"
He gives the same answer he gave in the hospital that time. "Adrenaline. It happens. I was afraid it was gonna happen at the funeral."
"And people think Roman is the sick one." She smiles.
Talking about Roman is still painful, even though they've sort of made up. He can't even think about Shiv yet. "He said that I wasn't a real father."
"Roman did?" He nods. "He wouldn't have meant that. He's grieving."
"I'm sorry," he says again. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you that."
She comes to sit beside him, taking his hand. "Ken. We have two perfect kids."
"I know."
"I wouldn't change anything about them. Would you?"
"No. Of course not."
"Stay here tonight." She stands up. "You can take the kids to school in the morning."
