Chapter 41

Roller coaster

Sanji added a pinch of salt to his donuts before inspecting the cooking of the churros with a glance. Satisfied, he grabbed his mixing bowl and a determined smile formed on his lips when he checked his second mix.

Getting Liam to enjoy fairground sweets again was a challenge that reminded him of the reasons he loved baking so much. The enigma of the scientist's aversion as much as the complexity of disentangling his tastes from his memories awoke his passion and the appeal of the performance was irresistible, as well as the joy that would win him over when he had achieved his ends.

True to his plan, the blond had identified foods that crystallized the scientist's disgust the most on the day of the surprise party that the inhabitants of All Blue had thrown. That's how he had noticed that donuts, churros and pralines were the ones that aroused his revulsion while he didn't care about pancakes and waffles. The cook had quickly understood that the problem was more about the smell than the taste because the common point of these three sweets was their characteristic scent when cooking. The scents of hot sugar and oil were Sanji's main target then, and he had a well-thought-out strategy in this direction.

Confident, Sanji gently dusted his first batch of donuts with icing sugar. He felt like he was growing wings for three days. First, the fact that the old cook had made him realize his need to slow down had encouraged him to enjoy more of his moments of relaxation with Lily, Liam and Amy. But above all, three days earlier, an unexpecting ringing had been heard on All Blue.

Indeed, the Den-Den Mushi connected to the Sunny had woken up and the second the blond had been notified, even Zeff hadn't managed to hold him back even though the service wasn't quite over yet. Sanji had literally flown to the scientist's workshop and the cyborg's voice on the other side of the line had sounded almost as sweet as Nami's or Robin's at that moment. At least, until he actually hears the voices of his princesses.

He had then spent the whole night hanging upon his friends every word when they had taken turns telling him about all their adventures. The cook had shuddered many times listening to the story of his crewmates and his anger had even radiated to the Sunny's Den-Den Mushi when he had learned what torment the navigator had gone through because of the Fishmen in Trafalgar Law's submarine. The blond had sworn that he would hound these creatures to death and that he would make the captain of the Heart Pirates regret his nonchalance.

Sanji had felt like the relationship between Luffy and Nami had suffered some hitches but he hadn't wanted to press the young woman with questions on this subject. The blond had respected her discretion despite his curiosity but the following days, he had tried to find out more from the other crew members. Without success. The cook sensed that the case had been serious but Luffy and Nami seemed to have found a balance point that it would be inappropriate to disturb. He had guided the following discussion towards the description of the islands the crew had crossed but also the verification of their diet then.

On this occasion, he had learned that the reputation of the All Blue had now reached the lands of the New World thanks to the newspapers and this news had moved him more than he had wanted to show. The article that Brook had read was simple and not very detailed but it was proof that his dream was taking shape in front of him but also in the eyes of the rest of the world. And that was what he was fighting for. The blond had then explained at length to the crew how the restaurant was growing in importance and he had made his friends drool with envy by describing the dishes he and Zeff served each day.

Plunging his second batch of donuts into the boiling oil, Sanji smiled even more. He kept thanking Providence for docking the Sunny on an island that picked up one of All Blue's doors and more, he thanked it for making the crew stay for a while, allowing him to join his occupants every night for three days. Three days of uninterrupted happiness in which he was bathed and which gave him a considerable boost of energy and determination. Liam would realize it in turn soon. Indeed, if Sanji no longer counted Zeff's exasperated looks in front of his sometimes too pronounced enthusiasm in the kitchen, Lily had also noticed an increase in his lyrical flights and Amy watched him with wonder when he set the tables in a few seconds while making conversation with other customers.

Sanji felt revived and the feeling was deliciously exhilarating. It was out of the question for him to let it pass then. His crewmates were leaving in two days and he intended to savor every second of it. Who knows when he might hear them again next…


"What about that?"

Sanji handed a praline to Liam who took it with apprehension. The blond had come to find him after the lunch service in his workshop where he was working on stabilizing the second door. Indeed, after deciding to slow down, the cook had suggested that Liam take more time before opening it and the scientist had spent most of his days studying it.

As usual, Liam had settled at his desk but the blond had invaded him with all his plates and he had shifted his chair to move away in view of their contents before being forced to come closer. Sanji was aware that he was asking a lot of the man who had already made the effort to taste all the sweets the blond had given him at the party, but he also knew that his preparations would surprise the young scientist and he was eager to see the result.

For now, Liam was examining the praline warily though. "It's dumb to think that I associate this food with something unpleasant. I usually have a sweet tooth…"

"Your subconscious has linked your memories to these foods," The blond reminded him, "You can get rid of it but it'll take time."

"I have already identified that pancakes and waffles aren't that bad, that's something," The scientist approved to give himself courage. "Well…" He cast another anxious look at the praline he held between his fingers and Sanji encouraged him. "Go ahead. I guarantee you won't regret it!"

"If you say so…" Liam closed his eyes and stuffed the praline into his mouth, chewing as fast as he could to get rid of it. A second later though, he opened his eyes again, in disbelief.

"It doesn't taste like praline!" He wondered before biting the candy more carefully, "It's like… a custard!" The dark-haired man chewed harder, amazed to discover the unexpected flavors and finally, he swallowed it. "It's disconcerting but pretty good," He admitted then, searching for an explanation in the eyes of the blond who was smiling in front of him.

"I'm trying to disconnect the flavors from the image your brain has associated with carnival sweets!" Sanji explained excitedly, "I kept the visual aspect and part of the coating but the inside is totally different! This is the first time I've done this sort of thing!" The cook then handed him another praline. "Eat this one. They're all unique!"

Liam quickly bit into the candy this time and discovered a lemon cream. He nodded, still unsure about his general impression because of the discrepancy that these candies produced. After the fifth though, he offered a frank smile to the cook who, satisfied, put a new plate in front of him. "And now the star of the show! You'll eat the donuts last, they're the strongest in taste."

Liam nodded impatiently, but when Sanji unveiled a dozen churros in front of him, he couldn't help but push his chair back again. "Just seeing them makes my stomach turn…"

"Come closer and smell them," The blond insisted. "I'm sure you don't expect it!"

The scientist complied with a heavy heart, but at his greatest surprise, once standing in front of the plate, he inhaled a charming scent of potatoes. He stared at the churros then. "Are there mashed potatoes in it?!"

The cook confirmed his impression, a broad smile on his lips. "Mash with herbs and Galician potatoes. Those of your childhood!"

"There's no way!"

"Taste them!"

Liam bit into a tiny bit of the fake pastry and as the flavors exploded in his mouth, he closed his eyes in delight. "How did you do that?!" He exclaimed, savoring the mash. "It's exactly like the mash I remember!"

"By using the taste you described, I was able to recreate the recipe!" The cook explained, beaming. "It took me a few tries to make it happen," He admitted then.

"I feel like I love churros!" His friend exclaimed, swallowing another mouthful in amazement, "It's just… incredible!"

"I wouldn't go that far, it's only an illusion," The blond got amused, "It's a roundabout way to open your brain to the possibility of associating a positive memory with carnival food. This is the first part of my plan: I am deconditioning you!"

"It's like therapy!" The scientist laughed while crunching again in his sweets.

"Food is great therapy!" The cook approved, delighted in turn. "Natural and effective!"

"I could become addicted, it wouldn't be smart," Liam joked then.

"I certainly hope so! I want my food to overturn everything you thought you knew! I want you to forget everything else and only remember the explosion of your senses and the desire to do it again! I want you to create new memories, memories that'll make you happy and that you'll treasure your whole life!"

Carried away by his elated speech, the blond didn't notice his friend's fascinated gaze and he whirled around to grab a donut before turning back to Liam. Sanji then suddenly leaned forward to hold it up to the scientist, his eyes twinkling, but the man pushed his chair back uncomfortably.

"N-No thanks. It's okay."

"You're not doing this again, I just proved to you that you love it!"

"It-It's true but I'm not hungry anymore…"

"You're gonna eat it!" The cook insisted, giggling as he approached even closer, and Liam backed up until he hit the wall of his workshop behind him. "I-I swear I'll eat it later. Promise!"

A determined smile on his face, the blond shook his head. "You're stuck so don't be picky," He laughed, approaching again until he wanted to stuff the donut in his mouth, "You'll see, it's not that compli-"

"Sanji, stop it. Please."

The scientist grabbed the chef's wrist to stop his progress and the blond finally realized that his friend was really uncomfortable. His enthusiasm suddenly waned.

"I'm sorry, I may have gone a bit overboard, but since I saw you liked churros… Are you okay?"

Looking away, the dark-haired man took long breaths before shaking his head. "You need to stop doing that," He whispered in the end.

"Doing what?" The cook wondered, destabilized.

Liam sighed before releasing his wrist and gesturing vaguely toward the desk full of food and then between them. "All this cooking and all these things for me… It's too much."

"But it makes me happy!" The blond protested. "And I thought it also made you happy!"

"It really does, Sanji, believe me. But I…" He finally raised his head and sighed again in front of the lost gaze of the cook on him. "Seeing you so happy and so close to me is just… too much for me. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold myself back…"

Sanji froze and the scientist looked anxiously at him.

"I wouldn't have made a move, I swear! I know you're happy because your crew managed to reach you and I know Zoro is the only man in your life, I have no illusions! It's just that with all this attention you're giving me, I… I freaked out!"

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable."

The blond turned on his heels and Liam hurriedly got to his feet.

"No, wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that, I-"

In response, the door slammed behind the cook, leaving the scientist distraught and alone amidst the rest of his sweets.


Sanji struggled to answer Chopper's cheerful story spiritedly. The little reindeer had beaten Usopp and Luffy in a race during a trip to town and his victory tinged his voice with pride. The blond was really happy for him but that didn't stop him from getting lost in thought again moments later. The incident of the afternoon remained omnipresent in his mind and after leaving the workshop of the scientist, he had begun the evening service at the All Blue. When he had returned for his daily call, the place was deserted. Liam had carefully put away the plates, all emptied of their sweets. Sanji had even found precise notes about each food not far from them and he had looked through the papers before stuffing them in his pocket.

The blond knew that his reaction was hurtful for the man who had opened his heart to him but despite his guilt, Liam's discomfort was not his priority. Indeed, beyond the shock of the revelation of the dark-haired man's attraction to him, Liam's words had awakened a barely appeased pain in him. And it was the emotions that had collided in his chest which had made him flee at that moment.

Zoro. It has been months since he had heard even the sound of his voice. And if he had the impression that the other crew members weren't so far away when he listened to them laugh and tell him their adventures, Zoro had been absent since the first day. He was light years away from him and while they could have closed that distance, it also held them in a nice security that saved them from another collapse. At least in Sanji's case.

Yet tonight, Sanji had decided to tempt fate. This forced evocation of his feelings reminded him that the Sunny was still within earshot for two days, but then silence would return for a time that was impossible to estimate. What if this was the last chance he had to talk to the swordsman for months or even years? He couldn't pass up this opportunity.

This is how when Nami took Chopper's seat in front of the Den-Den Mushi a few minutes later, the blond listened to her as carefully as possible until it was his turn to speak.

"Nami-san, I was wondering, is the mosshead around?"

"Zoro?"

Sanji understood her surprise. From the start, he had never suggested that he would like to talk to him or even want to know what he was doing. Yet the redhead didn't comment.

"He came back to the Sunny in the early evening. I'll get him."

"Thank you, Nami-san!"

As he heard her get up, the cook sincerely hoped that the strong enthusiasm he had put into his answer hid his growing anxiety. Of course, he wasn't so stupid to think that he and Zoro would strike up a conversation as if nothing had happened in a few seconds, but maybe hearing the swordsman would allow to calm some of the nervousness he felt ever since Liam had torn the veil he had been trying to put over his bleeding heart.

Even though they had promised each other that they would continue with their lives, they were still members of the same crew thanks to Luffy and as such, it made sense to continue talking to and getting news of each other. And even though it would probably turn out awfully awkward at first…

"I'm sorry, Sanji-kun, he still refuses to talk to you."

The voice of the navigator abruptly brought the cook back to earth and he stared at the Den-Den Mushi for a second before her words slowly made sense in his head. In the end, a sad smile tugged at his lips. If he felt ready to speak with the swordsman, it wasn't surprising that Zoro didn't. He had never been comfortable with words and getting stuck in front of a device could only make him feel cornered. Too much time had passed, or not enough. Too much had happened between them. Or not enough.

All in all, it was still an answer and Sanji understood it despite his disappointment. He knew what Zoro meant that way. "It's okay, Nami-san, thank you for trying."

"He's such a jerk…"

"No, really, don't worry about that. Tell me more about the last islands you mapped instead! Robin-chan told me that one of them was very unusual…"


Nami hung up the Den-Den Mushi after about twenty minutes, concerned. She knew that Sanji genuinely cared about everything she did, he had always acted that way towards her, but she couldn't help feeling sorry for him all the same. After all, he had made the effort to ask to speak to the swordsman and the man had brushed him aside as if his frenzied training that he was doing that evening in the middle of the deck couldn't be stopped for five minutes.

She stepped out into the open air and her gaze instantly spotted the troublemaker. He had finally dropped his dumbbells and was drying himself nonchalantly with his towel next to the other members of the crew who were chatting happily. The navigator felt anger take over her then and she swooped down on him.

"Zoro! Why are you refusing to talk to him?!" She got angry, "You're not together anymore but you can still behave in a civilized way! He took it upon himself to ask you! How could you tell him no?!"

"I don't care," The swordsman growled immediately, picking up his things to walk away.

At these words, Nami stared at him. "Do you even hear yourself, Zoro? You think we didn't notice what you're doing?!"

The fencer stopped instantly and around them, their crewmates froze in turn. In the end, the swordsman slowly turned to the navigator, glaring at her, but she held his gaze.

"It won't work," She told him calmly. "You won't feel any better ignoring him and pretending nothing happened. And you're fooling yourself if you think that by leaving the Sunny every night, you'll be able to forget him or replace hi-"

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!"

Nami recoiled at the swordsman's outburst. He had suddenly closed in, and the rest of the crew tensed. Zoro was really threatening right now and the young woman feared for a few seconds that she had gone too far. Yet despite appearances, she really wanted to help her friend and if she had to take a risk so that he would open his eyes, she wouldn't hesitate. She was all too aware of the ravages of a lost love.

"I made this mistake of wanting to reassure myself but it's even worse and until you put things straight, you're not gonna be bett-"

"Nami."

The quiet and firm voice of the straw hat boy made the two crew members who faced each other turn around.

"Zoro made a choice and we have to respect it. True crewmates support each other no matter what."

The rest of their companions slowly agreed to these words and Zoro walked past his captain towards the stern of the ship. Nami bit her lips then. "I just wanted to help him…"

"Zoro doesn't need our help. He'll be fine. He's strong."

Robin walked quietly through the shadows of the night. The fencer stared absently out to sea and she leaned against the rail once she got to his side.

"It's because you asked Luffy that we left All Blue so quickly."

Zoro tensed but didn't reply. He let his gaze drift into the ocean and the archaeologist nodded gently.

"I don't think you did it happily." His crewmate's silence continued and Robin didn't move either. "The others will figure it out eventually," She finally added after a few moments.

"I don't care," The swordsman whispered, "I don't ask for anything."

The young woman stared at the horizon in her turn. "I'm sure Sanji got your message."

Zoro felt his face tense again and he stubbornly stared into the black water. "I promised him I'll become the best and I'll keep my word."

The archaeologist nodded silently before quickly leaving his friend alone, respectful of his pain. As their captain had stated earlier, she knew she couldn't help him heal anyway. This was the path he had chosen.


After the roller coaster, are you willing to know what's happening inside Zoro's head?