Newly Revised
Carl was angry; angry at his dad for not fighting back, angry at Enid for not being grateful or understanding why he'd locked her in a closet, angry at Sophia for leaving without so much as a goodbye. Merle and Sophia had taken off in the middle of the night with nothing more than a letter to Francine saying Merle had somewhere he needed to be and he'd be back when he could. He was worried about Sophia and even more angry at her for not confiding in him more than their argument from a couple days ago. That whole situation with her from two days ago, or rather the not conversation, had him feeling on edge about what would happen if she didn't come back or if she ended up getting caught. Even with Merle with her, so many things could go wrong and she hadn't even tried to leave a note or anything. His dad was leaving today to go on a scavenging trip for them, the assholes who'd taken Ani and Daryl, who'd killed Glenn, who'd taken so much of their things. They'd done all that and still his dad was just falling in line like a good little soldier rather than fighting like they should be. Carl didn't care what it took; he wanted Negan dead and the Saviors gone for good and that was all there was to it. For what he did to Glenn, for what he threatened to do to Sophia, for what he'd almost made his dad do to him, for how his men had treated Enid the day before. A myriad of reasons kept floating through his mind, fueling his anger even further as his dad came into the room with Aaron and Michonne. Throwing another dart and missing the board yet again, Carl did his best to ignore them all as Rick began telling him what they were planning.
"You should come with us," Rick tried, hoping to appease some of the anger and frustration he knew his son was feeling.
"Someone's gotta be here for Judith," he immediately shot back.
"There's people that want to help. We'll only be gone a few days at the most. We need supplies. They're gonna be coming back soon."
"Is this how it's gonna be now?" Carl asked his dad angrily.
"Yes," Rick said back just as heated. "It is. You know that."
Carl angrily threw a dart at the board he was trying to just hit now that he was missing an eye and was having problems adjusting to it. His depth perception was off, his aim was off, he kept bumping into things going through the house. Everything was so much more difficult now that he had lost his eye and the worst part by far was how it had affected his ability to fight. He hadn't thought about it before, but now that they had to deal with the Saviors, Carl couldn't help but think he really needed to start working on his aim. What happened if he accidentally shot one of theirs because he wasn't good with his gun anymore? It had him even more frustrated over everything when the dart completely missed and instead fell to the ground. The anger that had already been building inside of him boiled over to the same point it had been when the prison had fallen. Carl never thought that he would be angrier than he had been when he thought Judith was dead, but right now he couldn't decide whether he wanted to punch his dad or find Negan himself. He sighed angrily as he walked over to the closet and picked up the fallen dart, going back to the same spot and trying again.
He told his dad, "See you in a few days."
"We should get goin'," he heard his dad say as they walked out, Carl going downstairs to watch them leave.
Michonne came downstairs when Carl was playing with Judith, a bag over shoulder, prompting him to ask her, "Why didn't you go with my dad?"
"I have to figure some things out," she answered as he followed her into the kitchen where she grabbed some supplies.
"What is there to figure out?"
"How we can do this," she replied, talking about the deal they had with the Saviors. "If we can."
"Well, we can't," Carl told her in frustration. "No, not like this!"
"Your dad thinks differently."
"And he's wrong! You know it," he reasoned.
Michonne wouldn't look him in the eye as she continued to gather supplies, "Even if I think he is...I don't know." Putting her bag on and opening the door, she looked back at him and told him, "Change your bandage later and be nice to Olivia."
He watched her leave while thinking that if even Michonne was considering this life, what life was there to live? They were just slaves; that's all they were to Negan, going so far as to tell them explicitly that he owned them. Owning people died out when slavery was abolished, but now that the world went to hell, people were back to being able to own others? How could Negan even think that he was some sort of godsent miracle worker that helped everyone when he was really just a thug that acted like everyone should be grateful he let them live? He simply could not accept that this was the way of life now and that this was how life was going to be for him from now on. Carl didn't want to stand by and watch the people he loved and cared for get hurt by Negan's whimsies anymore. He didn't want to just sit and watch as the Saviors destroyed whatever was left of their home when they could do something. He sighed before heading back inside, seeing Enid heading to the wall with her backpack, the situation being odd after telling him she didn't want to go out anymore. Carl worried she about what would happen to her when she was more inclined to run than fight and followed her, not wanting both of the girls he cared about going missing. It was already hard enough on him knowing Sophia was missing and just assuming she was with Merle when he didn't know for sure. The ache in his chest from when she'd admitted to liking him had been growing while she was away and he wondered briefly if it would ever go away and when. There really was nothing he could do about it now except follow the girl to the wall and try to convince her to stay in Alexandria.
"Enid."
The young girl stopped, but didn't turn around as she said quietly, "I need to see Maggie."
"You're walking to the Hilltop? It's far."
"I'll be fine," she told him as she started climbing the wall.
"Maybe," he shot back.
"I'll be fine!" she exclaimed, finally looking at him. "I have better aim than you." When he didn't say anything, he looked back and saw his expression, looking down in shame as she tried to explain, "I didn't mean it that way."
"I'm not saving you anymore," he told her, his view of the girl soured by how she'd used his injury against him.
"That's what happened in the armory?" she scoffed as she angrily put the next foothold into place. "You saved me?"
"Yeah."
"You made it back in one piece," she argued. "You're still here."
"I'm not talking about that," he responded.
Enid turned back towards Carl and softly said, "I'm sorry you had to see it."
"I'm not."
She kept climbing until she was over the wall, Carl watching her disappear as he shook his head and started walking away. While he couldn't fault her for wanting to go see Maggie, he couldn't be the one to do everything for her all the time and he knew it. All that time in the woods with her reading comics, running, hiding from walkers, it was all just momentary breaks from the reality of what the world had come to. He walked back to his house and up to the bathroom to change the bandages on his eye while trying not to think about Enid going to the Hilltop all alone. It was a twenty mile journey, which might not have been much in the old world, but in a world infested by the walking dead? The pit in his stomach continued to grow until he sighed and grabbed his hat before storming out of the house and over to the wall. He used the same supports Enid had to climb up and over, dodging the patrols before he managed to find a car that still actually ran. He figured that it had to be a spare for Alexandria, considering how close it was to the town, and that it wouldn't be missed as he started the engine. He smiled to himself and looked at the various meters and controls before carefully moving the shifter from park to drive. Carl gingerly stepped on the gas, or what he thought was gingerly, and shot forward, making him slam on the other pedal and bang his forehead into the steering wheel. With a groan, he sat up and tried again, this time slowly and timidly putting his foot on the gas and creeping down the road. It only took about ten minutes to find Enid, the girl ducking out of the way as he revved the engine to hit the walker that otherwise had her frozen in place. He ran into a concrete slab almost as soon as he'd hit the thing, getting stuck momentarily as the walker stood back up. Throwing the car into reverse, he slammed on the gas again and drove the walker into a pole, Enid smiling brightly at him when he rolled the window down.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him.
"I felt like a drive," he responded proudly.
They left the car there, walking on opposite sides of the road since neither had much of anything to say at all as they traveled. It wasn't that he couldn't think of anything to say, Carl just didn't known what to say after telling her he wasn't saving her anymore and then went doing it anyway. And now he was traveling to Hilltop with her just to make sure she stayed safe on the way there. He was a walking hypocrite and he knew it, but he simply couldn't leave her out here on her own. That was a huge risk, especially considering he'd seen how she had frozen at the mere sight of a walker when she should have been able to take it out herself. Carl had been killing walkers since a few months after the fall of everything thanks to Ani and his dad making him learn. Enid had always run or hid from the dead, never fought them head on, so how was he supposed to not go back on his word to not protect her?
"Not sorry you saw it?" Enid asked all of a sudden, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"What?"
"Not sorry you saw it?" she repeated.
"Yeah. I watched it. I didn't look away."
"Why?"
"Because, when it was happening, I knew that I needed to remember it. Phia didn't look away either. We both watched to remember. That way when we have a chance to kill him, there wouldn't be a choice."
"I think I'd kill him, too," she told him, staring straight ahead as he looked over at her. "It's messed up but...that's how it is. You do things for the ones you love," she said, though the tone of her voice told Carl she didn't mean what she'd said, not really. "Loved."
"It's not for them," Carl readily admitted. "I'm sorry I locked you in the armory."
"I didn't need to see it," she said immediately. "We don't even know if Maggie's okay."
"We'll get there."
"Yeah."
"Hey, at least you'll get to know if she's okay by the end of the day," he said, trying to be supportive even as the irritation rose at how one track minded Enid was being at the moment. "Ani's pregnant, too, and she was taken. We don't know when we'll know if she and Daryl are okay. And Sophia's missing too."
"Why didn't you go after her?"
"Huh?"
"Why come after me but not Sophia?"
"She left in the middle of the night. I didn't even know she was gone until the next day. I'm not a hunter or a tracker like she is. I'm not as much of a fighter as her either. I couldn't find her or help her even though I want to," he said, not realizing his slip of the tongue at admitting he wanted to go after Sophia himself.
"So you came after me because you knew I left and where I was going?"
"Something like that."
"I'm not weak, Carl," she said, spinning on her heel to face him. "I can take care of myself. I was alone for a month before I found Alexandria."
"And hid or ran from even one walker even though you had a knife. I just watched you freeze at the sight of a bloody walker!"
"I don't need your protection."
"No, you don't. But you've got it anyway."
"Why do you even care?"
"I don't know," Carl admitted. "I just do."
He slowed down, watching her walk ahead of him and knowing she was having a hard time coming to terms with what he'd said. She hadn't spoken a word since their conversation and they were already almost halfway to Hilltop. Carl wasn't sure what he should say to make things better and, in all honesty, wasn't sure if there was anything he could say. It seemed like no matter what he did or said to either Enid or Sophia, he was smack in the middle of whatever it was that was happening between the two. He tried to find something to say as he looked around, not a thing coming to mind until he saw a bag on the side of the road and opened it, smiling to himself before calling out to Enid. They were both smiling and laughing as they used the roller skates he found to head to the Hilltop. Enid smiled as she wove her fingers through his after they used each other to balance, keeping a hold of his hand as they continued down the road. Carl's small, embarrassed smile making hers grow even more since it was pretty obvious that he had no experience with dating, though he wasn't sure how to feel about the whole thing as Hilltop came into view. It didn't take them long at all to get close enough to the Hilltop that they had to take the roller skates off and put their boots back on. Carl grabbed his knife and moved ahead quickly at the sight of the same large trucks from the day before at the Hilltop after a brief walk through the trees. The anger he'd been able to put on the back burner on the trip there reared to life as a plan began forming in his head. Even if Negan wasn't in the Hilltop, eventually he would go back to the Saviors' home and Carl could end his reign once and for all.
"I don't think Negan's here," he lamented, the man who'd originally made them kneel that night walking out of the Hilltop. "I don't see that black truck. But I recognize him."
"You weren't taking a drive, were you?" Enid asked. "You weren't coming to get me."
"I never said that. I didn't even know they'd be here. But since they are, I can't let them get away with this," he reasoned, having truly left the walls of Alexandria out of worry for Enid. "You know I can't."
"I know," she said softly, making him turn to her.
"Come with me. You want to kill him too. We can do it."
Enid sighed, "You said it. It'd be for us. Not for Glenn. Not for Maggie," bringing her forehead under his hat and speaking quietly. "You're doing it for you."
"Yeah," Carl nodded.
"If it all goes right," she said while looking up at him, "and you do it, how do you get away?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does to me."
Carl just sighed and kissed her forehead, leaning his against hers before she leaned up and kissed him on the lips. It hit him like a punch to the gut almost as strong as the one he'd been hit with by Sophia admitting she liked him. He felt completely confused and conflicted when it came to the girls in his life and the anger he felt at the situation they found themselves in didn't help matters any. It was all a mess and he didn't know how the hell to deal with it when he could admit that he didn't know anything about girls. He'd seen Maggie and Glenn get close, Ani and Daryl, Beth and Zack, so many other couples at the prison and even in Alexandria and he still didn't understand anything about it. His dad had never really been able to stop and discuss things like relationships with him and Ani was too embarrassing to talk to. While she did answer his questions openly and honestly and told him he could always come to her, she also had a lot to talk about when it came to sex and stuff like that. And when he had pointed it out, all Ani had told him was that he should talk to his dad if he wanted a watered down version of the truth. He had asked Michonne what to do after Sophia confessed since she was the closest thing he had to a mom now, as well as being his other best friend, what he should do. The best advice she could give him was just to let what would happen, happen, and not to think about it too hard.
"Please don't go," Enid begged in a whisper. "Just come with me. You can't make it-"
"I'm just gonna go home," he cut her off, feeling rather awkward by the situation he'd put himself in by kissing her.
"You're lying," she accused him.
"No, I'm not."
Enid chuckled before telling him, "You shouldn't go, but I can't stop you."
She began walking away as he said, "They'll see you."
"No," she replied. "They won't."
He watched her walk away before moving through the trees to an area just a little closer to the Saviors, waiting for his chance to get into one of the vehicles. Hearing one talk about something being loaded into the 'Negan truck,' Carl carefully watched the man carrying a big box as it was loaded into a white box truck. Waiting for the coast to clear, he sprinted as fast as he could towards the truck and ducked inside it right before someone rounded another corner, hiding behind some boxes. He had to push a few things one way or another to make himself a relatively well-hidden hole to hide in that wasn't too uncomfortable. There were a few more crates loaded into the back before the engine roared to life, followed by more, before he could feel the truck moving. He breathed a sigh of relief once the truck was on the road and began to relax until a thud sounded from the entrance in the back. Carl carefully moved to peak out, seeing the man who'd introduced himself as Jesus and took his dad to Hilltop standing there.
"Hi," he told him.
"How'd you get in here?" Jesus asked.
"Same way as you."
"Why?"
"To find Negan."
"Okay, but why you? You're just a kid," Jesus pointed out.
"So? That doesn't mean I can't try to help. And I want to find Sophia."
"Sophia?"
"My...the very best friend I've ever had and someone I hurt pretty bad," Carl told him, sighing as he spoke.
"And you think she's trying to find where Negan lives?"
"It makes sense," Carl reasoned. "I mean, Negan basically took her parents, so she's probably trying to find them. And then Bobby went missing, so she's probably trying to find her, too. And she'd be on Ani's trail."
"Bobby?"
"Did Ani tell you about her kittens?"
"Right! The bobcats, Bobby and Catty. Did she name them herself?" Jesus asked as he poured more stuff on the ground.
"Yeah," Carl said before laughing. "She's not good with names and is pregnant. I hope she doesn't name the baby 'Baby.' Though, Daryl did name my sister Little Ass-Kicker at first."
Jesus laughed with him before they both quieted down until the sun was setting and the truck stopped suddenly with curses coming from the front. Both hid deep into the goods in the truck, sitting on the floor and not making a sound while the Saviors talked up front. Carl eventually fell asleep, only waking up when the people in the cab came out and moved to the back to grab some food and drink. They sat on the tailgate talking about a few things from the Sanctuary and before before heading back to the cab to spend the night. Carl ate some of the food from the truck that Jesus tossed at him and then settled back down, neither wanting to move too much so as not to alert the people in the cab of their presence. It was a long and uneventful night that had his back sore and his legs stiff from being in the same position for so long. The last time he had sat in one place and one position this long had been during his great-grandfather's funeral. His mouth was dry from not having brought any water and the only thing to drink the goods that were loaded was liquor. He was getting antsy the next morning when the Saviors came back around to the back for more food, commenting on how the herd was still going a while later.
"Looks like the end of them, though," one man said.
"All damn night," they heard another comment. "At least Negan's smart enough not to let that mess anywhere near us."
"Fat Joey's good for somethin', at least."
"What, eating cake?"
"He rigged the herd-way. Just trips. Nothin' fancy. Guerrilla kinda stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"As in warfare, idiot. Those demo sticks from that run last month, the RPGs from the new guys. Maybe it takes it down. Takes em out. Alright, it's a trickle. Let's go."
"Finally. Thank Christ."
Carl followed Jesus out from behind the goods at the back of the truck, thankful for being able to move as his muscles felt tight and stiff. He began looking around the goods trying to find anything that would help him when he got to the Sanctuary. His movements paused, however, as he watched Jesus dumping syrup out of the back of the truck. It was pretty easy to tell what he was doing, but Carl couldn't help but think that it was a stupid idea to make a trail like that. Even if it was just with syrup, a line of ants would be easy enough to follow and all they really needed to do was to keep their bearing once they got to the Saviors' home. Merle had taught him how to do that when he'd gone with him and Sophia on a hunt just to get away from Ani, Daryl, Sasha, and Francine after a particularly stupid night of drinking with Abraham. The two had played a particularly idiotic prank by hiding their weapons only for all four to knock the pair on their asses and bring them back their goods. Carl remembered how Merle had taken them really far out into the woods and then told him to lead the way back since Sophia was hunting and Merle was gathering. He'd learned how to read the sun, water, shadows, and even the way some plants grew in order to make sure he found his way back, so as long as he knew the direction the Hilltop was in, he would be able to find his way back to Alexandria. All he had to do was head west, and then north, and he'd make his way back home; at least, he would if he even made it out of Negan's home with his head intact.
"Making a trail. I think we're close," Jesus told him, seeing the boy staring off into space and mistaking it as a questioning gaze, as the truck began to slow down. "We should bail out, follow the rest of the way, see what we can see."
"I, uh...How?" Carl asked, not wanting, knowing, or planning on jumping out of the vehicle.
"It isn't usually the fall that gets us," Jesus carefully explained. "It's trying to fight it. Run with it or roll with it. The truck's going slow enough. We'll be in a blind spot. We can race behind one of the other cars."
"I-I-If—If I screw up and we get caught-"
"It'll be fine," Jesus assured Carl. "We just gotta go now."
"Okay," Carl said quickly. "Show me first."
It wasn't all that surprising to him when Jesus actually did jump out of the car, watching as Carl just waved to him and went back into the bowels of the truck. He couldn't help but wonder how stupid the guy could be to think that he would actually leave before he got started. Carl was positive that Jesus would have just either made him go home or taken him home himself. He couldn't have that, not with Daryl and Ani on the line, Glenn murdered, and Sophia and Merle missing. He had to finish his mission and, even if he didn't get out alive, he had to try to kill Negan before more of their people died. He had to try to put an end to everything before his dad lost himself and who he was to being a dog for the Saviors and playing fetch at his master's bidding. Hell, half the stuff in the truck was from Alexandria, Carl running over to it as the truck started slowing to a halt. He grabbed one of the automatics and loaded the cartridge into it before going back to where he had originally hidden when he'd boarded the truck. All he had to do was bide his time and wait until someone got into the truck and he could attack the Saviors and Negan head on.
"Okay boys, let's get this haul unloaded and inside. I want to get back in there and unload a little myself," he heard the man say.
"Negan, need to talk to you about the redirect."
"What about the redirect?"
"It got screwed up. We're on it now, but it's a mess out there."
"And who's job was that?"
"Aw, damn," someone said as they moved the plastic away from the door. "I thought they packed this up tight."
"Ah, no worries," one of the men from last night said. "Plenty more where this came from."
The men laughed as they entered the truck and started handing things to others outside, one of them picking up the box Jesus had cut at the bottom. The glass bottles in it fell to the floor and shattered as the man cussed while looking around for something to clean up the mess. He spotted him almost immediately, Carl wasting no time in opening fire and gunning the man down. The other man that had entered quickly ran back out, the Saviors that had congregated around the truck all taken aback by the sudden gunfire. Everyone in the immediate line of fire ran for cover as the kickback hit his shoulder and he quit squeezing the trigger. He ran over the dead body of the first Savior and looked around the cement yard of the factory where the Saviors called home. There were about half as many men in the yard as there had been at the clearing, but all of them had some kind of weapon. Carl could tell he had taken them all by surprise when he ran out of the truck with the rifle still in his hand and threat in his words.
"Stay back!" he warned. "Drop your weapons! I only want Negan. He killed my friend and took others. No one else needs to die."
Negan grabbed one of his men and used him as a shield as he smiled at Carl and told him, "Damn. You are adorable! Did you pick that gun because you think it looks cool? You totally did, right? Kid, I ain't gonna lie...you scare the shit out of me."
Apparently, that was a silent signal from Negan to his men because they rushed Carl, who managed to mow another Savior down before he was tackled. He broke the man's grip on him and kicked the inner part of his hip joint, making him fall back before someone else was on him. Carl was pissed that he hadn't been able to put up a better fight, but he had at least fought with everything he had, unlike his dad, who'd given up. Even though he wasn't as strong as Sophia or as good in a fight as even Beth, he managed to get a few good, solid punches and kicks in to a couple of the Saviors before he was truly pinned to the ground. The man who had forced Daryl into the truck, the one who'd shot Ani, was holding the same automatic that had been in his own grip to his chest. He warned him to stay on the ground when all Carl did was stare up at him in contempt as Dwight took his knife away. Carl saw Daryl on the other side of the walker fence, watching on in worry as Dwight took his knife from him after Negan told him to back off.
Negan walked up smiling and offering a hand. "Is that anyway to treat our new guest?" Carl didn't take the man's hand, looking instead back and forth between him and Daryl, who looked like absolute hell. "Come on, kid. I will show you around. You know, you do the same damn stink-eye as your dad, except it's only half as good 'cause...well, you know, you're missin' an eye," Negan chuckled while pointing to his own. "Really? You're really not gonna take my hand? 'Cause you're lucky you even still have a hand. Same as your boy Daryl over here now that I think about it. How's the job goin', Daryl? Hot enough for you? Yeah, it'd be tough with one arm," Negan chuckled while looking at the man before turning back to Carl.
Carl understood the implied threat Negan had made; either he take the man's help getting up or Daryl would lose a hand. He knew that the man had used threats against Ani to get Daryl so complacent and he probably was doing the same with Ani. It was what happened in Alexandria all over again with multiple threats being implied and some just being outright given. Threats were the name of Negan's game, and Carl had already seen that those threats could quickly turn into promises given the circumstances. It disgusted him to know that he didn't have a choice in accepting the man's help or else he would hurt the only two people Negan could use against him in that moment. If it weren't for Ani and Daryl being in the Sanctuary, Carl wouldn't have cared what would happen by not letting Negan help him up. He would have stayed on the ground until he was gutted rather than accept his help in getting to his feet, the anger he'd felt that brought him to the place roaring to life again. He rolled his eyes and reached his hand up, taking Negan's while looking like he had swallowed a lemon.
"Ah, smart kid," the man said as he hauled Carl to his feet. "Now, come with me. Dwighty-boy, why don't you grab Daryl, take him to the kitchen, do a little grub prep." Turning to the rest of his men, he ordered, "New plan, boys. Let's burn the dead and unload the truck later. Damn, I am not gonna have time to screw any of my wives today," he said before turning to Dwight with a chuckle. "I mean, maybe one. Come on," he told Carl, walking away.
"What are you gonna do to me?" Carl asked, not afraid, just curious now that his plan had failed miserably.
Negan turned back to Carl after rubbing his hand over his face, "Number one, do not shatter my opinion of you. You're a bad ass. You're not scared of shit. Don't be scared of me. It's a disappointment. Number two...you really want me to ruin the surprise? Screw you, kid. Seriously. Screw. You," he told Carl before pushing him towards a set of stairs and up it. Opening the door and letting Carl enter, he closed it behind him and leaned into his ear, "Check this out."
Carl watched as Negan walked over to the railing so that he could look out over the factory floor where hundreds of people stood there chatting amongst themselves, most looking rather dirty and ratty. He wondered how so many people lived in such a small space and how good the living conditions were. From the looks of it, they couldn't have been much better than living in the storage units over winter had been with the exception that the storage units smelled like his great grandmother's closet. There was a stench in the air, but more akin to a sweaty gym and dirty laundry mixed with the rotting flesh from outside. Negan got the attention of all the people while Carl watched in shock as they all stopped talking and knelt down without so much as a word from Negan to do so. The man stood above them, reminding Carl of the movies he used to watch where everyone had to bow to royalty. Even if it was impressive, he couldn't say he liked it or thought it was something good as he watched some elderly folks have a hard time kneeling and Negan addressed them all.
"The Saviors have gone out into the world," he told them, "and fought the dead and come back with some really good stuff. Some of that stuff can be yours if you work hard and play by the rules," he said, looking over to Carl as if to make a point before back out at his people. "Today, everybody gets fresh vegetables at dinner. No points needed." A murmur of applause with no real energy behind it rang out as Negan turned around, "You see that? Respect. Cool, huh? They still on their knees?" he asked Carl quietly before calling out behind him, "As you were!"
Carl stood, watching the people stand back up and go back to work, confused as to whether what he saw was respect or not. He knew one thing for sure; if Negan had this many workers and soldiers at his base, he had more than they could fight when combined with the outposts. Even if the outposts had half the number of soldiers and a quarter of the number of workers, Alexandria and Hilltop would still be outnumbered ten to one. On top of not having the numbers, given the number of weapons in that truck, they didn't even have the firepower to take on even one outpost. He'd come to the Sanctuary with every intention of ending Negan before he could do any more damage and all he was met with was a slap in the face. It was clear that the Saviors had at least double the number of soldiers from the night Glenn had died and Carl had been a fool to think he could stop them alone. He wasn't in the best of moods when Negan called for him, making him follow the man into a nicer looking room closer to the top of the factory. There were several women in the room doing various tasks, all in black dresses of some kind or another and all quite attractive.
"Ladies," Negan told them, all of them becoming much more self-aware as the man took off his ascot. "Oh, don't mind the kid. I know," he told Carl quietly, leaning closer to him. "Every woman from where you're from dresses like they do the books at an auto shop. Except for Ani, and she dresses like she works in the shop. Though, damn that rack on her," he said before he whistled while Carl looked at him as if he was crazy. "You're gonna wanna look at their titties. It's cool. I won't mind. They won't mind. Knock yourself out." Carl looked down as Negan called to one of the women, "Can I talk to you a moment, dear wife? Make yourself comfortable kid."
He left Carl standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by women who were all busy minding their own business. It almost felt like the atmosphere in the room was restricted, like they weren't there out of love for Negan at all. He watched as a taller woman with long hair walked over to a mini bar with Negan chatted with him for a bit as Carl observed the rest of the women. One was adamantly reading her book, another two was sitting together playing a game near the window, several others either sitting or walking around in an attempt not to be noticed it seemed. Still another just sat and watched everything unfold while another was sat on a chair looking on the verge of tears as if she were afraid of something, or maybe it was just Negan. Carl remained standing there until Negan came back over and forced a beer into his hand, going over to talk to the wife that looked terrified. It only got worse the longer he talked to her until she told him she loved him and he asked her why she was crying. As Carl looked around at the rest of the wives while they adamantly ignored the wife Negan was talking to as well as the man himself. Even he could tell that Negan did the same thing to the women that he'd been talking to as he did to everyone else; threaten the people who the women loved in order to get her compliance.
Negan looked over at Carl before kissing the woman on the forehead in a seemingly loving fashion before walking up to the tall woman still at the bar, "Will you go get Carson for me? Wasn't that hard on her, even though I am...very hard in general."
"You're an asshole," the woman told him.
"I know," Negan responded with pride. "But the messed-up thing is, you like me anyway. You know the truth," he told her, saying something Carl couldn't hear before the two shared a kiss.
When Negan held up his finger towards the door to indicate giving him a moment, Carl noticed the movement as someone came into the room. He was shocked when he saw Daryl walk in, his shirt being held onto by Dwight, a tray of food in his hand; seeing him from a distance outside wasn't the same as seeing him up front. They stared at each other, Daryl in concern and Carl in shock, as Negan finished his intimate moment with the woman he spent the most time with. Daryl quickly looked back to Negan with a dirty look on his face as Carl wondered just what they'd done to the man to have him acting like a servant. The tray of food in his hands looked nice enough, but the man himself was even more ragged than he had been the day before in Alexandria. Even as Negan moved over to him and stared at the man with a smirk as he ate, Daryl didn't say a word, simply stared right back with a grim expression painted on his face.
"Carl, will you grab this tray for me?" Negan asked, prompting Carl to put his beer down and he and Daryl to face each other, Carl nodding to his friend trying to tell him he was okay.
"Why you got him here?" Daryl asked angrily, prompting Negan to be, or at least look, offended.
"Whoa!" he told Daryl. "What we talk about when you're not here...is none of your business." The man looked back at the wife he'd kissed before threatening Daryl and Carl at the same time, "Do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye he has. You go with Dwight. He'll get you a mop. Dwighty-boy, fire up that furnace. I'll be down in a few. Time for a little Deja vu. Come on, kid," he told Carl as he walked through Dwight and Daryl.
Carl didn't have much choice but to follow, realizing that his compliance was what was going to keep Daryl and Ani safe while he was there. Whether or not Negan took it out on them when he left would probably also be dependent upon his actions. The Sanctuary was mostly dreary outside of the 'wives' room' until he was lead into another room that looked fit for a king. It was both masculine and cleaner than anywhere else in the whole building and if the sitting room the women had been in was elegant, this room was posh. The king size, four post bed was sitting front and center in the room and was actually made, which surprised Carl since he didn't even make his bed. Everything in the room was color coordinated in dark coals, deep grays, and white details, giving everything a coordinated appeal even though it was a bit cramped. A coffee table sat between a leather couch and a couple very nice, chairs facing each other on the other side of the room while books, knickknacks and other various objects lined the stylish shelving unit on the back wall. He watched Negan throw his ascot on the bed after holding the door for him to enter the room with an expectant gaze, curiosity getting the better of Carl as he did.
"So all those women are actually your...?" he asked, leaving the question open ended.
"Wives? Yeah," Negan smiled. "Always wanted to screw a whole bunch of different women. I mean, why settle for just one? Why follow the same old rules? Why not make life better? Speaking of, sit," the man said, motioning to one of the chairs as he sat on the couch. "Let's get started."
"Started on what?" Carl asked, placing the tray on the glass coffee table before he sat down in the chair.
"I want to get to know you a little better, Carl."
"Why?"
"Work it out. You're smart. In fact, I'm gonna tell you just how smart you are in case you don't already know," Negan said quite smugly, a smirk firmly planted on his face. "See, I'd expect a kid your age to be moping around, not doin' a damn thing except cryin' about missin' the prom. But you? You go on a mission. You find me. You kill two of my men. You're smart enough to know that I'm not gonna let this slide," he said before chuckling and rubbing his eye. "Ah, I can't—I can't do it. It's like talkin' to a birthday present. You gotta take that crap off your face. I wanna see what Grandma got me," he told Carl excitedly.
Carl was rightfully offended and firmly said, "No."
"Two men!" Negan bellowed before slowly continuing. "Two...men. Punishment. Do you really want to piss me off?" When Carl just sat there staring at Negan, the man said, "Do not make me take it out on Ani and Daryl." Negan watched as Carl sighed and started taking off the bandage, a look of joy and excitement in his eye, chuckling as he commented, "Almost there. Get that hair out of your face. Let me see," he told him when Carl, already on the verge of tears, finished unwrapping it pushed his bangs back and exposed the socket that was right eye. "Christ!" Negan shouted. "That is disgusting! No wonder you cover that up! Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror? That is gross as hell! I can see your socket. I want to touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it?" Negan's excitement soured when he noticed how Carl looked like he was about to cry and knew he'd taken it too far since he sighed and told him, "Damn. Holy hell, kid. Look. I just—It's easy to forget that your just a kid. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I—I was just screwin' around."
"Just forget it," Carl quietly told him quickly, feeling like an object and understanding a little of what Ani had explained about it now.
He was nothing more than a source of amusement for Negan, nothing more than cruel and taking joy in the fact that Carl was in misery. The loss of his eye had devastated him and the nasty scar on his face was a constant reminder that he was less than what he had been. Negan throwing that in his face, saying outright how disgusting it was when he already found it gross every time he had to look in the mirror? It made him feel like he was less than human, like he was some kind of animal in a zoo to be pointed and laughed at for simple pleasure of another. Everyone at home did their best to either ignore or at least not stare at his socket with the exception of Sophia, Ani, Rosita, and Michonne, who helped him with changing the bandages. He had kept it completely hidden by the gauze and his bangs ever since it had happened, his bangs being long enough to keep over the gauze. It was easier to pretend he hadn't lost his eye if he kept it covered than it was to admit that he was having problems accepting his new reality. Negan was a bully that didn't have a single bit of remorse in his body about making others feel bad about themselves and using the one thing that would hurt them the most to do it.
Negan sighed as he looked at the boy's crestfallen face when a knock sounded on the door, "Come in!"
"Sorry to interrupt, sir, but, uh..." an overweight man said as he entered the room, "you left Lucille out by the truck."
"Seriously?" Negan asked, shock ringing clear in his voice. "I never do that. I guess a kid firing a machine gun is a little bit of a distraction. All jokes aside," he said to Carl, "you look rad as hell. I wouldn't cover that shit up. It may not be a hit with the ladies, but I swear to you, no one is going to screw with you lookin' like that. No sir!" He turned back to the fat man and asked, "Fat Joseph, did you carry her all the way up here for me?"
"Yes, sir," the man answered with a smile, handing the bat over.
"Were you gentle? Were you kind?" he asked him, causing him to stutter. "Did you treat her like a lady?"
"Mm, yes. Yes, sir," the man awkwardly replied.
"Did you pet her little pussy like a lady?" he asked, making both other males in the room look anywhere at him in discomfort before he chuckled. "I'm just screwin' around man. A baseball bat doesn't have a pussy!" The fat man chuckled for a moment before Negan told him, "Get the hell out." Turning back to Carl as the man quickly left the room, he said with a smile, "See? That's what I'm talkin' about. Men breakin' each others balls. This is the shit your dad is supposed to be teaching you."
Carl stared at him for a moment before looking down and thinking about what he'd said and how that wasn't how anyone acted back home; well, no one except for Merle. Merle had never once brought up his eye and really was just rather uncouth in his words regarding certain body parts on both men and women. He never once had talked like Negan had towards Fat Joseph, at least not with anyone that couldn't shoot it right back; Abraham and Ani being prime examples. If that was Negan's idea of men breaking each others balls, he didn't want to know what he thought comprised real friendship if Merle was anything to go on. To be Merle's friend, people still had to put up with lots of swearing, some racist remarks, and a little bit of sexism and misogyny thrown into the mix. And even then, as the man took more and more roles in the community, everything but the swearing had really died down unless he was pissed off. Carl couldn't understand how Negan thought making fun of someone was okay, especially if it was about deformities or health or weight. There were some lines even Merle wouldn't cross when it came to chaffing people up whereas there were no such lines with Negan.
Negan sighed after a moment of silence and asked, "What do you like to do for fun? You like music?" Carl didn't answer Negan, prompting him to lean closer and say, "I want you to sing me a song."
"What?"
"Yeah," Negan said with a sneer. "You mowed down two of my men with a machine gun. I want something in return for that. Sing me a song."
"I...I can't think of any," Carl said, none coming to mind past just basic nursery rhymes.
"Bullshit!" Negan told him. "What'd your mom used to sing you? What'd your dad play in the car?" Negan stood up and pointed his bat at Carl and snarled, "Start. Singing."
As he moved further away from Carl, the boy began singing 'You Are My Sunshine,' pausing for a moment only to be encourage by Negan. Carl hadn't been able to think of anything else to sing with the bat shoved in his face, the memory of his mother's voice bleeding through. His anxiety only got worse as Negan told him to ignore the fact that he was practicing swinging the bat only a couple feet away. His hands were shaking and his voice wavered as he jumped with every downward swing of the bat Negan made until Carl finished the song. He couldn't even think of anything else even though he wanted the man dead because singing to the man who had murdered Glenn while he practiced the same swing was daunting. It sucked that he hadn't been able to do more than kill two Saviors before he was forced to follow Negan around. Carl had come into the Sanctuary to kill Negan and instead was being favored by the man and therefore found himself untouchable. He hated himself for thinking that he would be able to do something when all he really had been able to accomplish was making empty threats.
"That's pretty good," Negan commented as he walked back to stand in front of him. "Lucille loves bein' sung to. It's about the only thing she loves more than bashing in brains. Weird, huh?" he asked before sitting on the coffee table in front of Carl, the tray off food forgotten in the center. "Did your mother sing that to you? Where is she now?" Carl shook his head while looking down, prompting Negan to responded with, "Damn. Dead, huh?" He inhaled and looked down before asking, "Did you see it?"
"I shot her," Carl told him quietly, the image of the day Judith was born still burning a hole in his mind over a year later. "Before it could..."
"Damn, no wonder you're a little serial killer in the making," Negan told him in sincere empathy, a soft smile playing on his face. "That was an example of breaking balls, by the way. Come on, kid. Get up. It should be ready, and we got somewhere to be."
"What should be ready?" Carl asked.
"The iron."
