Chapter 4
Felicia Hardy reclined back in her office chair. It had been a slow past few weeks in New York. The phone of Cat's Eye Investigations had been silent through most days, thanks in no small part to the humidity. It's like no one wanted to do anything suspicious when it got hot! And as a result, Felicia had to endure the worst thing known to mankind: boredom.
Now, she enjoyed a few days of vegging in her apartment or favorite spot of sunlight as much as the next cat, but she also enjoyed flexing her claws in the face of a challenge. And right now, there was nothing…except for a few priceless gems that Tombstone and Kingpin had picked up at a recent auction. She'd seen them in the news, and she couldn't help but wonder what those little treasures would feel like in her hands.
She had her own little treasures, of course, but those were bought and paid for. Yeah, sure, it felt nice to spend the money she'd earned from her business on herself, but the treasures she'd…found lying around unattended gave her another feeling. And she was starting to miss that feeling.
BRRING!
Felicia snapped up and grabbed the phone on her desk with lightning speed! "Cat's Eye Investigations! There's no secret our eyes can't spot! How can I help you?"
"Can those eyes see Spider-Sense?" a familiar voice said.
Felicia smiled and leaned back in her chair again. "Hey babe, how's the vacation with your Friendly Neurotic Spider-Man?"
MJ chuckled. "You know him; he's wound so tight that I could shove a lump of coal up his ass and pull out a Diamond in five minutes."
"Eh, that's too easy," Felicia said, crossing her legs on her desk. "The real challenge would be shoving that coal up Hoodie's ass to get a Diamond!"
"I think I'll leave Hoodie's ass to you," MJ said. "How's biz?"
Felicia rocked in her chair a bit. "Oh, just super," she drawled. "I love just sitting around and doing nothing while waiting for the phone to ring or for the door to open!"
"I can tell."
"I'm going a little stir-crazy here, babe," Felicia said. "If I don't get a gig to sink my claws into, there's some new treasures on the block that have been catching my eye."
"You know, you really should see a professional about that," MJ commented.
"Meh," Felicia said, shaking her head and waving her hand dismissively.
"Then how bout a treasure that belongs to someone a little closer to home?" MJ asked. "And someone who won't come after you with a bunch of supervillains for stealing from them?"
Felicia sat straight up in her chair. "Do my ears deceive me, or is it time?"
"Oh yes," MJ said, and Felicia could picture the devilish grin on the redhead's face, "it's time."
Felicia gave a Cheshire smile. Finally, a little treasure worth getting her paws on!
"See Pete, she's fine," Ben said as he filmed Miles and Mayday in the family room of the Parker Household. Miles had spun a little web sphere for himself and the toddler, and the two had been bouncing and crawling around for the past fifteen minutes. "Three-hundred-and-sixty degree protection."
"Actually, knowing Miles is there puts a lot of my fears at ease," Peter responded, watching his baby girl with joy and relief.
"Hey, we don't need your protege to take care of a kid," Ben retorted hotly. "Have you forgotten how many times we've kept the city safe while you were recovering from your various ass whoopings over the years!? A kid is no sweat compared to that!"
"That's not the same thing, and you know it," Peter said, crossing his arms. Then his eyes widened. "Miles, make sure she doesn't get a head rush!"
"Oh–duh! I got it, Pete," Miles said, and he snatched the upside-down Mayday from the top of the web sphere in order to right her. Mayday giggled as Miles placed her in the center and immediately crawled back up to the top of the web sphere so she could hang upside-down again.
"Sure it is!" Ben said. "Taking care of the Hatchling is way easier than the whole city! There's only one of her, and she can't really get anywhere without one of us sensing her."
"YOU SENSE HER ALL THE TIME!?" Peter shouted. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER!"
"Woah, dude, bring it back down to DEFCON One," Ben said, trying to calm Peter with a wave of his arms.
"Try again," Kaine said from the kitchen.
"Eh?" Ben turned and cocked his head.
"DEFCON One is the highest alert," Kaine said casually as he flipped the omelet he was cooking.
"Really?"
"Uh-huh."
"Why is the lowest number the highest alert?" Ben asked, shaking his head incredulously.
"Oh yeah, I know this one!" Miles said, bouncing excitedly in the web sphere. Mayday laughed as it shook in the center of the family room. "We just learned about it in my history class! Yeah, it has something to do with Top Ten lists. Like how one is the highest there is, and ten is the lowest."
Ben flipped the camera so Peter could watch as he rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't get me started on that bull–"
"DUDE!" Peter shouted. "Please tell me you guys haven't been swearing around my daughter? I swear if I come back and she starts repeating anything, you two mooks–"
"Oh sure, mook is okay when you say it around your daughter," Kaine grumbled. "But if I so much as think the word around her, I get put into time out."
"Also, you're forgetting that we teach May to say all the swear words when only MJ is around," Ben commented. "She gets us."
Peter's eye twitched. Then, he whipped around. "Red!"
MJ laughed off-camera. "You know, you really can't take it as well as you can dish it, can you, tiger?"
"This is serious!"
MJ strolled into view, dressed for the beach. "Honey, take a breath; Miles and Kaine are there. Mayday is fine."
"Hey!"
MJ glanced back at the camera, smirked, and locked eyes with Ben. Normally, Ben would be able to match her energy equally, but there was a glint in MJ's eyes that gave him pause as if she had crafted the most dastardly evil plan ever designed. He did not like it.
"Look at how much fun she's having," MJ said, pointing at the web sphere where Miles was now chasing after Mayday in the little enclosed area. Mayday squealed with delight as she scrambled away from her uncle. "And don't forget, if Ben does something really crazy, Kaine has already offered to kill him for us."
In the kitchen, to emphasize their point, Kaine popped his stinger and stared Ben down.
"You guys hate fun," Ben muttered.
"If you want fun, why don't you all take Mayday for a little tour of the city?" MJ suggested. "The Central Park Zoo should be open, and she loves watching the monkeys swing around."
"But take the Subway!" Peter interjected. "No Web Swinging with the baby!"
Ben chuckled but managed to pass it off as a cough. He locked eyes with MJ again and saw a different glint in her eyes. One that didn't scare him as much as the last, but one that definitely raised his alarm bells. However, the glint disappeared as fast as it arrived. Damn actors, Ben thought. They're almost as bad as Chameleon.
"Don't worry, Pete! After yesterday, the Subway will be a piece of cake!" Miles said as he finally caught Mayday and dangled her by the leg.
Internally, Ben grimaced. He thanked his lucky stars that he had already turned the camera so Peter couldn't see Miles unsuccessfully hide his own grimace upon realizing his screw-up.
"After—what now!?" Peter shouted. MJ jumped back and winced at his volume.
Kaine stomped over to Miles from the kitchen and smacked him upside the head.
"What happened yesterday?" Peter insisted!
"Oh, Mayday's just really good at Hide'n'Seek," Ben said just a mite too quickly.
Peter narrowed his eyes, unconvinced by Ben's reassuring smile.
"She had a blast hiding from me and Miles with Uncle Kaine," Ben said, laying the confidence on thicker. "Now that she can climb the walls better, I think that's her new favorite game!"
"Really, not The Floor Is Lava?" MJ asked.
Ben's Spider-Sense tickled the base of his neck as he heard MJ. She knows, he thought. Ben stared at MJ, and she smirked back at him. Oh, she definitely knows.
"How much this Zoo gonna cost?" Kaine asked as he returned to the kitchen. Miles shot Kaine a glare as he rubbed his head. "None of us here are exactly working men."
"Hey, I have a gig!" Miles said, pulling out his phone. He tapped the center, and a chill beat comprised of what sounded like street noise played from it. Mayday tilted her head, curious at all the new sounds. "I'm DJ-ing the dance Visions!"
"Oh, lovely," Kaine drawled sarcastically, "at least we can afford the ten-dollar water bottle at the Zoo we can't afford to go to."
Miles narrowed his eyes. "All I'm hearing is that I still have more money than either of you!"
Ben cocked his head and smiled pityingly at Miles. "Not the flex you think it is, champ."
"Hey, Brain Trust!" she said, rolling her eyes. "There's a jar on top of the fridge full of petty cash. There should be more than enough to get you all into the Zoo. Take what you need, and go show my daughter some animals!"
"Just take–"
"The Subway!" all three Spiders chorused back.
"MJ, take him to get de-stressified!" Ben said. "He's cramping our babysitting style!"
Peter shook his head in disbelief, but that glint in MJ's eye that set off Ben's Spider-Sense returned.
"Don't mind if I do!" MJ said as she pounced on Peter and pulled his face to hers.
Ben reeled back in disgust. "Eugh, you suck!" He ended the call as fast as he could, but not before he caught a glimpse of MJ's smug smirk.
"So," Miles said, bouncing Mayday on his lap, "we going to the zoo?"
Kaine walked through the zoo with Mayday propped up on his shoulders. Her wide eyes swept across the zoo in front of them with wonder. He could practically feel it radiate from her.
It was funny; when she was born, he couldn't have imagined that he'd ever be this close to her, let alone be her babysitter. But the thing that bewildered (and pleased) him the most was that after everything he'd done in the past, Peter and MJ trusted him with their world. He just didn't know how they could do it. He knew if he had been in their position, he wouldn't have been able to forgive like that.
Except, Kaine knew that being around the little Hatchling (don't tell Ben) had softened him. He used to be a bastard-coated bastard, with bastard filling, but the little girl on his shoulders had found a creamy center inside of him that even he didn't know was there.
"Alright, so what're we seeing first?" Ben asked from behind, tucking Mayday's makeshift little Spider-Man mask into his back pocket.
Miles stepped forward and pointed to the jungle habitats. "Didn't MJ say she loved watching the monkeys," he said. "Let's go."
Miles took a step forward, but Ben pulled him back. "Lesson one, kid; never peak early. It's all downhill from there."
"That explains your costume," Miles muttered.
Kaine snorted, and Ben narrowed his eyes. "No one likes a copycat, Brooklyn," he said. "You need to get your own thing and stop stealin' everyone else's fashion tastes!"
"You're just mad streetwear looks better on me than it does on you," Miles said, leaning forward challengingly.
"You mean your pajamawear!?" Ben shot back, taking a step closer. "The only thing that 'suit' does well is having pink on it!"
"At least I wasn't dumb enough to add an Idiot Handle to the neck of my suit!"
"A hood is better than a stupid ass bandana needlessly covering half of my mask!"
Kaine rolled his eyes. As Ben and Miles continued to argue about the other's costumes, Kaine looked around at all the exhibits; reptile (eh, I've had enough reptiles for a lifetime), the Sahara (could be fun, but no lion exhibit), birds (no scavengers).
"He really shouldn't be crying a baby like that!"
"Khari, be quiet!"
Kaine's eye twitched. Even Ben and Miles stopped arguing. They all heard the not-so-hushed whispers of a middle-aged woman and her friend.
"It's dangerous, and he didn't even bring a stroller! What if he drops her!"
"It's not your business what he does with his kid!"
Kaine's face darkened. He could take it from Peter, that was no problem, but he wasn't going to take it from a stranger. He turned toward the women, but Ben slid in front of him.
"Move, Reilly," Kaine grumbled. He looked over Ben's blonde head to see Khari taking out her phone and watching him warily. Kaine tried to walk past Ben, but Miles appeared in front of him. "I said, move!"
Ben cracked a lopsided smirk and shook his head. "Toss me May."
"What?"
"Toss me May," Ben repeated as if Kaine asked a stupid question.
Kaine looked down at Ben, then back to Khari. She had her phone trained on him, and he could tell she was recording. Then, the faintest trace of a smirk played at Kaine's lips. He stared straight at Khari's camera and–without breaking eye contact–reached up to Mayday's little waist and tossed her into the air!
"WHAT ARE YOU–"
Khari's scream fell on deaf ears as Mayday screamed in delight and was caught gracefully by Ben. Mayday clapped as Ben blew a raspberry into her neck.
"Over here! I'm open!" Miles called as he backed away from Ben and Kaine and moved toward the bird exhibit.
Ben looked at Mayday with mock seriousness. "You ready?"
Mayday shook with excitement.
"Atta girl!"
As Ben wound up to launch Mayday at Miles, Kaine's smirk emerged on his face as he stared down the woman who dared to criticize how he handled his niece. He practically begged her to say another word before Ben let loose the catapult.
But no words were spoken as a cheer of pure delight soared through the air and into her uncle's arms.
"Ten points to Brooklyn!" Ben shouted. His smirk grew wider as he raised his volume enough for Khari to be sure he was talking to her. "Glad he finally figured out how to catch. We definitely didn't want it to end up like last time, eh?"
Khari gaped at Kaine and Ben, too shocked to do anything. Kaine thought she might pass out, which would've been okay in his book.
Ben clapped Kaine on the shoulder and looked directly at Khari. "Cheers." He then walked off to join Miles at the bird exhibit.
Kaine, who hadn't moved a muscle since hearing Khari criticize him, curled the corners of his mouth upward into an evil, satisfied smile. "Have a lovely day," he drawled. He then walked off to catch up with Ben and Miles.
He took one step when his Spider-Sense flared. Without even looking, he outstretched one hand and caught a giggling Mayday around the middle. He settled her back onto his shoulders as she drummed away at his shaggy hair. "So, you wanna see what a real falcon looks like?"
Miles sat Mayday down in the kid chair in the Central Park Zoo Food Court. She bounced in the seat and hummed to herself. He honestly was surprised she was still awake after so much excitement and action. Seeing the birds, zebras, and giraffes had been quite the show for her. And for them. Miles had thanked his lucky webs that they were May's babysitters because she was fast and sticky. If they didn't have their Spider-Senses, she would've become part of a few exhibits.
Miles ruffled May's tuft of brown hair. "You are a little ball of trouble; you know that?"
Mayday smiled widely and innocently at Miles, showing off her two shiny pearly whites.
"Uh huh," Miles said. He pulled out his phone and put in an earbud. He opened Spotify and played one of his own tunes: On The Prowl. He smiled fondly as he thought of his Uncle Aaron. Yeah, the guy had his issues (if you could call being a supervillain just an issue), but he always looked out for Miles. He always took an interest in Miles' life and his interests.
Miles' gaze landed on Mayday, the little ball of joy that hadn't a care in the world, and he couldn't help but wonder if he would be as good at this uncle thing as Aaron was. Well, okay, he wasn't a supervillain trying to kill Spider-Man, so there was that.
"Oh my god!" a girl squealed. Miles turned around to see a girl roughly his age running over to him. Though, her eyes weren't on him. No, they were trained on his niece. "You are so cute!"
Yes, you are, Miles thought, transfixed by her chocolate skin and bright smile.
The girl eyed Miles and giggled. "Oh, thanks."
Miles' eyes bugged in his sockets. Okay, don't panic, he thought. She's smiling, not grimacing! You have a chance here. This is good! Remember what Uncle Aaron used to say you were his best wingman when you were a baby. Now, just use Mayday the same…wait, how the hell was baby me his best wingman!?
Thankfully, the girl hadn't been looking at Miles. She'd been too enamored by Mayday's happy little face and pudgy little hands to notice his panicking face.
"So, is this your sister?"
"Er…" Miles looked uncertainly from his dark hands to Mayday's cream ones.
The girl laughed and gave Miles a light shove on the shoulder. Though it was only for a moment that they shared physical contact, he could've sworn her hand lingered on his shoulder longer than just a second. "I'm just messin' with you, man. Unless…you didn't steal her, did you?"
"W-What–NO!" Miles blurted out. A few faces from nearby tables glanced at Mile, annoyed and startled. The girl smirked playfully at him, and Miles flushed. "No, she's my niece, actually."
"Aw, so is this a little day out with the fam?" she asked, booping Mayday on the nose. Mayday reeled back, giggling.
"Just an uncle's day out with our little hatchling," Miles answered.
The girl leaned back and cocked her head at Miles, both amused and curious. "Hatchling?"
"O-Oh, well, you see, Peter–her dad–is really into spiders," Miles stammered. "And so when he said he was having a baby, we started referring to her as a hatchling! Except we didn't realize how dumb it sounds–"
The girl laughed again and reached out to touch his shoulder for support.
There it is again! Miles thought. His heart started racing. Then, something…else started moving. Synthesizers, records, drums, he thought to himself. ANYTHING! YOU ARE IN BASKETBALL SHORTS, MILES! THERE'S NO HIDING THIS!
"I think it's clever!" the girl said. She left Miles' shoulder and walked past a tall woman in black to sit down on the table across from him. She locked eyes with him, and for a second, he was lost in the clear blue waters of her irises. "Who came up with it?"
"Huh?"
"You said we," the girl said. "Who came up with the nickname? Was it you or–"
"It was me!" he blurted out, again drawing a few annoyed and startled looks. "Yeah, I came up with it. I was sampling the sounds of a web-sho–spider web when Pete announced it."
"Sampling?" the girl leaned forward with interest. "You make music?"
Miles whipped out his phone, banging his hand on the underside of the table. "Ow," he hissed, and the girl tried to hide her chuckle. He opened up Spotify and offered her an earbud.
She looked at his phone, and her eyes went wide. "Damn, you're on Spotify already!?"
Miles nodded his head emphatically. "Yeah, I made this song with my unc," he said. "We sampled the sounds of the city, and I mixed them together!"
"Wow, funny, caring, and a musician!?" the girl said, tucking her braids behind her ears. "What can't you do?"
Miles leaned back, puffing his chest out a bit. You got this, Miles, he thought, now just use the Hatchling to seal the deal and get her number! Miles leaned toward Mayday's empty kids chair. "Well, I can–"
EMPTY!?
