(Violet's Pov)

I woke up on the floor, I had a blanket covering me and I looked around and saw nothing in the room. It was bare, no bed, no nightstand. Just nothing. I slowly stand up and looked around the room, I head up to the door and opened it to see a black void. I was confused but I turned around and saw Joan looking at me. Her face was busted all to hell and I couldn't help but smirk as she looked to me. The damage I had done to her, how her skull cracked with every whack to the head. The blood and brain spraying all over the place. I looked back to the door and opened it again to see a hallway, I looked back to see nothing in the room so I went out to the hallway and looked at the walls to see nothing but I just kept walking down the hallway.

"She's gone mad." I hear and I slow to a stop and turn to look down the hall to see nothing, not a person no wind even. Just nothing.

"She should be left to rot." I hear and turn again to see some light so I walk over to it. I look around and see Pictures on the walls of the hallway now.

"Oh Violet, you're such a sweet girl." I hear and turn quickly to see my grandmother in her rocking chair as she smiled at me.

"Want to watch some cartoons?" She asked and I looked to the side and then back at her as I go and take a seat in front of her. I look at her as she smiled at me.

"You're so sweet." She tells me and I just look at her.

"That she is Darlin'." I hear and turn to look and see my grandfather as well. I stand up and look around and look to my grandparents.

"I know this is a dream… but I miss you guys." I tell them. They don't answer me at all and I sigh as I closed my eyes again. I opened them again to see the room, the bed everything was back in place and I turn to see Clementine also asleep her head on my shoulder and I look around the room a bit. I feel my head and look around and I feel Clementine move. I look at her as she wakes up and she looks over to me.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." She tells me and I nod.

"I didn't have a bad dream." I tell her and she nods just a bit. she gets up as do I and I look to see that the sun was just coming up, so we headed out the room and I make some coffee. I made a few cups just as everyone came over and I was drinking my mug. I look to see Louis as he glared at me and I look to AJ who didn't look at me at all.

"What do we need to do today?" Aasim asked and I think a bit.

"I need to fix the gate, after that I'm going to head into the town." I explain.

"What going to get drunk off your ass again?" Louis says and I smile and nod.

"Yep, I could bring some back." I tell him and they looked at me shocked. The fact that I bluntly admitted to them that I was going to get drunk.

"Fucking hell, you're an idiot." He says.

"Hey it keeps me entertained." I say then take a drink of my coffee.

"And it will keep me from having those hallucinations." I mutter to myself and look to the others.

"Funking drunk." Louis says.

"Say what you want, I don't give a damn anymore, my life is no one's concern." I stated and looked to everyone, even AJ was looking at me and I set my mug down.

"Violet you can't say-."

"I don't want anyone to worry about me, worry about yourselves and kids, I'm at the point in my life where I don't care anymore." I tell them.

"Not like we cared about you anyway." I hear Louis mutter.

"LOUIS!" Ruby yelled and then looked at me as she stood up from her chair.

"Violet do not talk like that, we are your friends, your family and we don't want to lose you in some stupid way." She says and I shake my head and laughed.

"I'm not saying I'm just going to walk out there and let a Walker bite me, if that was the case, I would have done that a long time ago, all I am saying is if I tell any of you to leave me behind then don't play the god damn hero and try and help me, you have more things to worry about." I tell her.

"Let her die if she wants to." Louis tells them. I glare at him for a bit then look to the others.

"Louis god damn it, shut the hell up." Aasim says.

"No fuck this, if she wants to die then let her, she's nothing but trouble and has been since we left the school, just like Marlon said, Violet is being difficult." He says.

"Don't bring that bastard up." I hear Minerva say and I look to her as she glared at Louis.

"He gave me and my sister up, he's the reason the Delta came and killed Mitch, and kidnapped the others, he was going to give you up when he had the chance, from what I heard he wanted to stage a fucking plan, but I doubt that, he was to chicken shit when he gave me and Sophie up, he's the reason she's dead, HE'S THE REASON I HAVE DEMONS MYSELF THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH DAY AND NIGHT, SO DON'T BRING UP THAT BASTARDS NAME, HE KILLED BRODY, BRODY OF ALL PEOPLE!" Minerva yells and I looked down then back up to look at them.

"You have no reason to bring him up at all, so don't act as if Marlon was a good kid because he was a fucking bastard through and through, so fuck you Louis, fuck you for being the same bastard Marlon is." She tells him and he glared at her for a bit. He then looked away and I just looked at the floor again.

"I have every reason to bring-."

"NO, YOU DON'T!" I hear Ruby yell and I looked up at her in shock.

"Don't bring him up ever again." She says and he looked at her.

"Whatever." He mutters and I shake my head.

"Why don't you do something useful." I mutter.

"What was that bitch?" He asked and I look at him.

"I said why don't you do something useful?" I answered him and he glares at me.

"I do more shit around here than you." He says.

"I built this damn wall, I built this damn home not you, me, AJ and I not you, you son of a bitch, so I don't want to hear a damn word come out of your fucking mouth about working more than me… fucking piece of shit." I muttered and I moved away from them.

"You know what, fuck you Violet, you act as if you're a bad ass or something, you give yourself the damn trauma blame yourself for what happened to you, not others." He says and I glared at him then smirked as I griped the knife on my side.

"You want a taste of what Joan did to me?" I asked and Clementine got in front of me.

"Don't." She says as I still look to Louis.

"I can carve you up just like she did me, lock you in a room with a walker with nothing to defend yourself with, hit you in the head with many different objects, hell I'll break your damn leg like Javier and David did to me." I tell him then laughed.

"HOW ABOUT I FUCKING CASTRATE YOU HU? SHE CUT ME OPEN AND MESSED WITH MY INSIDES LIKE I WAS SOME LIVESTOCK!" I laughed as I look to him. I felt Clem put her hands on me and I chuckle as he looked to me.

"Oh, the scars I have from her, I'm surprised I'm not dead but we had a great fucking doctor that could keep her mouth shut, oh but I should blame myself for all of this, even though I was keeping Clementine and the kids safe, but fuck their safety, right? Let Joan carve Clementine up? Is that what you would have had happened?" I asked him and he looks at me.

"N-no." he says.

"Oh, but I have to blame myself for what the psychopathic bitch did to me right? Would you be saying the same to her?" I asked him and he kept his mouth shut and I laughed again.

"Oh, this is fucking good, Louis being a hypocrite because he's still in love with Clementine, well tough luck fucker she doesn't want to be with you." I tell him.

"She shouldn't have to deal with you and your shit." He says.

"And what would that be?" I asked moving Clementine to the side a bit.

"You in general, fucking getting drunk off your ass last night, fucking make Clementine lose sleep over your bullshit." He says and I glare at him.

"Louis stop this right the fuck now." Clementine says and I look to her then to Louis.

"Ooooh but if little Louis was to be in my position, he would want Clementine to help him, he would be making sure she loses sleep just to tend to him, because he is still acting like a fucking child, if he had trauma like mine he would be way fucking worse than how I act, but see here's the thing Louis, I hate being helped by people, I've always hated it because why should I be helped when I have to take care of myself hu?" I asked and he looked at me.

"I grew up thinking that I have to work for what I get in life, I was never handed anything on a fucking silver platter like you, I didn't want my family getting hurt so I took the punishments, every time Clementine would talk back to a higher-ranking officer I would take the beating for it, every time AJ went near the wall, I got a beating, you have no idea how many times I was beaten even almost half to death I was doing it to keep my family safe… you never had to go through what I did and even I don't want that to happen to you no matter how much I fucking hate you." I tell him. I then left the house and went out to the wall and looked for anything to patch the holes with. It wasn't long till I hear footsteps so I turn my head and see AJ. I look back to the wall and we work together in silence. Once done I headed over to Clementine and Minerva.

"Minerva said she's going to go with you, I would but." Clem says and I see her leg and sigh.

"Take a seat." I tell her and she nods as we go take a seat on the porch and she takes off her leg and I look at it then at her stump and saw some blood.

"Fuck… when?" I asked.

"Just a few minutes ago, that's why I was talking with Minerva." She says and I nod a bit and rubbed my head.

"Need to get more padding?" Ruby asked and I nod.

"I think I need to make a new leg in general… not to be mean but your stump looks a little swollen, so you shouldn't be wearing it at all times." I tell Clem.

"It just… I just want to be ready." I hear her say quietly and I sighed.

"I know… I know but hey you don't have to worry about that right now, plus you got me, I'll just have to carry you." I say and smiled at her and she looked to me and nods.

"I'll get the parts maybe I can make the new one bend you know?" I asked and she nods.

"That would be great but I'll be ok if it doesn't." She says and I nod as I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down the items I would need. Once done Minerva and I got in the truck and we headed into the town.

"You aren't really going to get drunk again, are you?" She asked as she drove.

"I don't see why not, I mean… I actually had some what of a good dream." I tell her.

"A good dream?" She asked.

"Sort of, I saw my grandparents, so I'd say it was good." I tell her.

"Still, I don't think you should get drunk all the time." She says.

"No, god no not all the time, I just want to feel good right now, that's all." I explained.

"Do you even remember last night?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Nope, and that's what I love about it, worry free I can talk and not remember a damn thing." I laughed and looked to the window.

"I forgot my leg hurt too." I say as I rubbed it a little bit. I watched the road as we reached the town and then rubbed my head a bit.

"I'm surprised you aren't hung over." Minerva says and I shrugged.

"Maybe I didn't drink enough but hey I'm not complaining." I say to her. We finally reached the town and as we get out, I looked around a bit as we head into an auto shop, I grabbed some supplies for Clementines leg and we got some wood as well. We went into a hardware store and grabbed other supplies too, concreate bags, shovels, anything we could find and fit into the truck. I made her stop at the bar and I go inside and I know Minerva had followed me inside. I looked around a bit and head into the back room and found some bottles and I look around as I grabbed some bottles off the shelves.

"You're going to bring that to the house?" She asked.

"One day it'll be way to dangerous for anyone to come out here… plus getting drunk here wouldn't be the best idea especially if Walkers decide to show up." I say as I place another bottle in my bag and I look at her.

"I get what you are saying but do you think it would be fine?" She asked.

"I'll lock it up, so yea." I tell her and she sighs in defeat but nods and I nod as well. We then got back in the truck and she drives us back home.

"Do you want to talk for a bit?" She asked me.

"Sure." I say and look out the window a bit the back to her.

"You basically said you wanted to die today." She says and I nod a bit.

"Of course, but I also said no one should play hero if something were to happen, not as if I am willing to stick my arm out right now in hopes that a Walker will take a chunk of my arm off." I say to her.

"I get that but… it's scary to hear you say that." She admits and I chuckled.

"Yea I guess it was scary… but I mean it… don't try and play the hero Minerva, if I get trapped or bit, just let me go and keep Clementine away from me… lord knows she can't go through that again." I mention to her.

"You're talking about Lee hu?" She asked and I nod.

"Yes… she couldn't shoot him… I killed him I don't want her to do it, and AJ… I don't think he will ever be able to… unless he's that mad at me that he'd do it to let his anger out." I say and look to the road a bit as we get closer to the house.

"But… you don't want to turn." She says and I nod.

"I'll take myself out, I remember to at least keep one bullet for myself." I say repeating what Clementine had said all those years ago.

"I don't want you to drink too much, ok?" She asked.

"I cannot promise you that, but I will try." I tell her.

"If that is the best, I'll get from you then I will take it… I guess." She says and I rubbed my neck a bit as we pull into the walls. I get out along with Minerva and I help her take the wood and bags to the shed we had set up and I go over to my house and I begin to work on Clementines leg after I got the proper measurements for her new leg. Once I got that I had taken the bag inside and set the alcohol in the fridge so it could get cold at least. I then began working on Clementine's new leg and I had a beer next to me on the table and I would take drinks here and there. It wasn't long till I see AJ come into view and I see him look in the fridge and I see him grab a beer. He looked at it then to me and he opened it and took a drink. I couldn't help but laugh at his face.

"Ah doesn't taste so good if you aren't use to it." I say with a chuckle and he looked to me then back to the beer and back to me.

"I know you don't want to talk to me but if you're going to drink my beer might as well have a seat with me…. Don't worry I won't tell Clementine." I tell him and he looked to the chair and then he takes a seat and I get back to work and I drink the rest of my beer and looked to AJ as he took another sip and made a face again. I didn't say anything to him as I kept working.

"You know I always hated alcohol because of my dad… he was an angry drunk sometimes, he wouldn't talk to me until he kept putting the blame on me for everything wrong in his life… 'It's your fault I lost my job' or 'I wish your mom got rid of you' hell the man blamed me for just about anything when he was drunk… basically said it was my fault we were poor." I rant as I bend the leg a bit to see if the joint's worked and I smiled as they did.

"But now I like it, now that I am older and depressed, mentally unstable and so on… it makes me forget lots of things." I tell him and look up at him as I see him hold the beer with both hands.

"I guess I really pissed you off…. That's fine I get it, I hurt you physically… I never should have but I was… you know how I am when it involves Clem, and you… I'm not saying you have to forgive me, I'd rather you hate me for what I did, I deserve it… I wish I could take it back but life isn't like that." I say to him and he still doesn't talk and I laughed a little bit.

"I remember when you first got to the school, you didn't talk much… but you were a hell raiser to us." I tell him and I see him smile just a bit and I stopped working on the leg. I then get up and I go grab another beer and threw the empty bottle away. I went and took a seat back to the same spot I was before. I opened the beer bottle and took a drink and then looked to AJ as he tried to chug his beer but he couched a bit and I laughed at this. He looked at me angry and I raised my hands up but couldn't help but chuckle at this.

"It's a bit funny." I say to him and he sighed at this. He looked down at the beer and I lean backed a bit to take a look at the front door as I hear Clementine and the other girls. I look to AJ and grabbed the beer from him and placed my finger to my lip as he was about to speak to me and we hear the door open. I take a drink of my own beer just as Clementine walked in.

"Oh, were you two talking?" She asked and I shook my head and swallowed my beer.

"Nah, I'm just talking to myself, AJ was just watching me build your leg." I tell her as I show her that it could bend now.

"Oh… uh AJ why don't you go and talk to Willy, he said he needed some help with traps." She tells him and he nods as he gets up and walked past her. I watch him leave and I drink my beer again and I look to Minerva, Ruby and Clementine.

"Don' be mad I'm working, I'm working." I say as I set the tools to the side and I pull a chair out for Clementine so she could sit. She does and I set the new leg right where it would act as a knee and bend just to see how it would work on her actual leg. She bends it and it doesn't bend how I would like it to so I moved it and took some parts off and looked at it. I finish of my bottle and I see Clementine looking at the other one.

"Drinking two at a time?" She asked and I nodded.

"Yea it just got warm so I got a cold one." I lied and she nods and I finish off the beer AJ had. I then throw those bottles away and I grabbed another beer and looked to them.

"So, what's going on? Am I interrupting girls' night?" I asked as I laughed a bit at the joke and sighed.

"Well, you are a girl." Minerva says and I raised my hands up bottle in one hand.

"Ahhh nope, I'm not girly so I'll leave you ladies alone." I say as I walked to the side.

"Oh, come on Vi… talk with us." Ruby says and I look at her and rubbed the back of my head but stood where I was.

"So… Make-up." Minerva says and I took that as my que to leave.

"I'm out." I say and I hear them laugh at this and I walked out the door and looked around a bit. I looked over to the gate a bit and I set my beer down and I opened the gate a bit and moved it to see how bad the hinges were. I closed the gate and went to the back of the truck and grabbed the same gate and brought it over and I opened the old one and grabbed the tools on the side and began to work on the gate. I was working on it for a good while in all honesty I was to busy working on it that I didn't hear anything. But I did feel an arm grab me and I turn to the side quickly to see Joan and I yelled as I slammed her backwards and grabbed the hammer as she got up and I was still on the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I hear someone yell and I glared as Joan came up to me and I got up and then slammed her into the ground. I then took the hammer and started to bash her face in with it, over and over and over, blood on my face as I just kept bashing it in. I was then pulled away from the body.

"You got it Violet holy hell." I hear and turn to see Willy and Omar. I take a few deep breaths and looked to see that it was a Walker and I shake my head at this.

"Oh fuck." I laughed and I set the hammer down and placed my hand on my chest.

"Are you ok?" I hear and look to see the girls running over to us and I nod.

"It's just… came out of nowhere." I say lying to them and I get up and dragged the body to the wooded area and then I walked back.

"Well…. Least I got the gate fixed." I say patting it and I looked to all of them as they gave me a weird look.

"What?... did I get pit on the face?" I asked as I touched it.

"No, no just… are you sure you're, ok?" Minerva asked and I nod.

"Yes… unless I got bit, I don't know what those faces are for." I say and I grabbed my beer and closed the gate then headed over to the garden for a bit. Why were they looking at me as if I did something weird, did I do something weird? I thought a bit and shook my head.

"No, I couldn't have." I mutter to myself and rubbed the back of my head again and sighed and finished my beer. I was still confused at what I supposedly did wrong as I headed to my home and I throw the bottle away and I grabbed another drink and drank that. It wasn't long till I felt a bit buzzed and I chuckled a bit at this. I rubbed my face a bit and groaned to myself but then got up and paced the room. I then hear the door open and I look to see Clementine.

"What did I do wrong this time?" I asked and took a drink.

"Ok stop drinking." She says as she took the beer from me and I glare at her a bit.

"Don't." She says pointing her finger at me and I stopped glaring at her. I roll my eyes a bit at this but then looked at her and looked down as she had her arms crossed.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked her calmly this time.

"Did you see Joan again?" She asked and I nodded.

"Yes." I tell her truthfully.

"Ah, ok, I get it now." She says and I look at her a bit confused.

"Well, you were going at the Walker for a bit, but I get it." She says and I look at her.

"Oh… oh ok I get it." I chuckled. I then looked for another bottle and I hear her sigh as I grabbed a beer and turned to her.

"Want a drink with me?" I asked her and she looked to the beer and shook her head.

"It's fine, it's actually surprising that you found good beer." She tells me and I nod.

"I know right?" I asked and I chuckled then took a drink and then I looked down. I was a bit disappointed in myself for drinking but like I said this morning I was going to.

"Do you want to talk?" Clem asked and I shook my head.

"You sure?" She asked and I nodded and headed to our room. I sat on the bed for a bit and looked to the bottle in my hand and I finish it off. It wasn't long till I decided to go back down the stairs and grab another drink, then another, and another. I laughed a bit but I made sure I was quiet as to not bother anyone, or at least to not piss anyone off.

"I think you've had enough Flower." I hear and turn to see Joan and I laughed.

"I know… I know you aren't real." I slurred and she looked at me and I laughed.

"I killed yoooou." I say and boop her nose and I laughed at this. I shake my head and see the pretty girl again.

"Heyyy, it's the pretty girl." I say as I get up and stumbled a bit and I set my hands on the table.

"Pretty girl?" I hear someone ask and I look to see a short red headed woman.

"Duh, she's pretty." I tell the woman and she looked to me then to the pretty girl.

"She had a bit too much." The pretty girl says and I chuckle.

"Too much what?" I asked her.

"To drink." She asked me and I chuckled.

"Well, I think I will let you two talk it out." The red head says and the pretty lady nods and I nod as well.

"Ok, so are you Captain today?" She asked.

"You remembered?" I asked and she nods.

"Yes, I am Captain… and you are pretty lady." I say and chuckled and she looked at me.

"Are you feeling, ok?" She asked and I look at her.

"Bah, let's not talk about me, let's talk about you-." I say but she stopped me with a kiss and I gasped at this and backed up.

"P-Pretty Lady, I have a-."

"A Wife?" She asked and I nod at this.

"I am your wife." She says.

"Oh… really? But… Clem is my wife." I tell her and she nods.

"I am Clem." She tells me.

"No, you're pretty lady, Clem is pretty too but she's smoking hot." I say and chuckled a bit.

"Vi-."

"Captain." I say and smirk at her as she looks at me.

"Ok… Captain, I need you to listen to me." She says and I nod a little as I lean up to her just a little bit.

"Sure, I'll listen." I say and look at the pretty lady.

"Are you sure you're ok?" She asked me again. I look at the window and I think a bit.

"Yea, I'm fine trust me, I'm ok." I tell her.

"Then why did you drink?" She asked.

"I uh… I don't know why actually." I tell her honestly.

"Did Clementine say anything to you?" She asked and I shake my head.

"No, no nothing to do with her… she's been so nice to me, I uh… well I uh… um… I forgot heheh." I chuckled at this and I walked around the room a bit.

"Clementine has this kid… AJ, great boy, I think he uh… hates me… he wont talk with me but… um… I'm ok with that… he… mad I mean… he is allowed… to be mad at me." I try to keep my sentence clear for them to hear me. I look to them as they have that thinking face.

"Hey Clem when did you get here?" I ask her and she looks at me.

"I've been here, are you really that drunk?" She asked me. I feel her place her hands on my face and I look at her.

"AJ hates me." I tell her.

"No, he's just… he worries about you." She tells me and I shake my head a bit as she removes her hands from my face.

"No… I just… hmm." I try to think but nothing came to mind.

"So, are you going to get drunk every night?" She asked and I laugh.

"No… yes… maybe… I mean Alcohol wont last forever so I can't… but it would be nice." I say and chuckle then I feel her pull me to the bed and I sit next to her and look at her as she pat her lap and I look at her then her lap then back to her. She rolled her eye and pulled me to lay my head on her lap and I look up at her as she rubbed my head gently and I just keep looking at her.

"Do you not uh…. Want me to… drink?" I asked a bit slurred and she looks down at me.

"Personally? I don't know, you aren't doing anything bad so I can't say no, but what if something happens while you're drunk? How could you save yourself?" She asked.

"I wont and it will be my own fault, and no… you no help me." I tell her and chuckled a bit.

"Do you remember this morning?" She asked and I think.

"A little, why?" I asked.

"Do you really not want people to help you?" She asked.

"It's not that I don't… want help… I uh." I tried to think but then I got up and looked around the room and head over to the door.

"Violet?" She asked and I head out into the kitchen and I grabbed another drink and looked to see Clem following me.

"Violet?" She asked again and I look to her.

"It's… bad thoughts." I tell her and take another drink and shake my head and smiled.

"Bad thoughts?... is that why you are drinking so much?" She asked and I snapped my finger and point to her.

"Yep… yep, bingo." I tell her and look at the beer and take another drink.

"They just… go away… I had a…fuck what is it." I mutter and tap my head a bit then look to her.

"When you sleep, what is it?" I asked.

"Dream?"

"YES!" I say getting happy that she understands me.

"Yes, that… it was… an ok dream." I tell her.

"So, it wasn't a good or bad dream but you think if you drink more than no more bad dreams?" She asked and I nod and smile.

"Yes, exactly." I tell her.

"But Violet, that isn't good for you, if you do it constantly it is not going to help you in the long run." She says and I look to the floor.

"It's all I can think… of… if I dream good… if I dream good then I don't… hurt you." I tell her honestly and I look at her to see her looking back at me.

"I don't… hurt you… I don't want to… ever again… not like." I tried to say but I stopped and looked to the side.

"Violet, please listen to me, I know you never want to hurt me, I get that I really do… you're sweet and protective, and you would do anything to keep your family safe, you have proved it time and time again." She says and I look at her sadly.

"I hurt… AJ… I'm not a good person." I tell her and she comes up to me and places her hands on my shoulders.

"He knows you didn't mean it."

"He does…. He won't talk to me… but I know, I get it… I was a bitch… I won't… make him talk to me… but I don't think I'll ever get the same… I mean… we can never be the same… and it's my fault." I mutter and take a seat and drink my beer again.

"He's still learning, he'll talk to you one day." She tells me and I nod and I take another drink and look to the living room.

"I love you." I tell Clementine and look at her.

"I love you too." She tells me and I look down.

"But you shouldn't." I tell her.

"Why?" I hear her ask.

"I'm a bad person… I'm broken… physically and mentally… I hurt AJ; Mary is… gone… Tenn. too… I'm a failure." I say and place my hand on my head.

"You aren't a failure." She tells me and I laughed at this and shake my head. I then get up and go over to her and look at her.

"I may be drunk… to a point but… I know I am a failure… and now I… go to bed." I mutter and head to the bedroom with Clementine following me. I then faceplant into the bed and laughed a bit as I fully get on the bed and mutter a bit.

"What?" I hear Clem ask and I turn my head.

"I love you." I tell her and close my eyes.

"I love you too, now get some sleep." She says to me and I nod as I kept my eyes closed and I place the pillow over my head and I was finally able to fall into some much needed sleep.