(Violet's Pov)
I was sitting with Clem and Minerva behind my home. I gripped Clem's shirt tightly and I just keep my head to the side still looking at the garden and took a deep breath. I'm trying to calm myself down in any way I can and Clementine would rub my back gently as I take a few shaky breaths.
"Violet?" Minerva asked.
"I once… took a man over to the wall in Joan's community… she was watching me as I did this… put his head close to the fence where a Walker almost bit his cheek off." I tell them.
"Vi-."
"I was just trying to scare him, and she was watching… making sure I was… doing what I was told." I tell them.
"What did he do to deserve that?" Minerva asked.
"He was planning to get the people together to attack Joan and the higher ups… which included me and… I just… I didn't like that either but…" I tried to speak and I stopped.
"What happened?" Clementine asked.
"I scared him, he begged to live… kept begging but I didn't like that… that he was begging when he was so gung-ho about killing others… anyway I kept pushing his face closer and closer to the Walker as it snapped at him just… scaring him… I felt as if it was ok, that what I was doing was right and… I guess I was a monster." I mutter.
"I wouldn't say you were a monster-."
"I let the Walker bite him… I put his fingers through the fence and they bit them off… guy kept screaming asking me to cut his hand before the stuff spread but I didn't I let him go and he dropped to the ground holding his hand begging me to cut his hand but I didn't." I tell them.
"What did you do then?" Minerva asked.
"Walkers grabbed him from the fence trying to bite him but he pulled away and I pointed my gun at him as he tried to get away... put my foot to his chest and pushed him back into the fence where a Walker was able to rip his other arm off, their hand was able to go through the fence I mean part of the fence was broken… I couldn't look at him even after he told me to look at him as I killed him… I thought I was doing right; he was going to hurt me but I got the upper hand." I tell them and I take another breath.
"When I was bashing Joan's head in with the bat, I thought I was doing good but I keep seeing her… like right now." I mutter and looked down.
"You see her now?" Clem asked and I nod a little.
"Where?" Minerva asked.
"She's just… standing in the garden… head busted open from the first two whacks." I tell them.
"She's not here." Clem whispered.
"I see her." I say quietly.
"I know you do but that's your brain playing tricks on you." She tells me.
"Why though?" I asked.
"Not sure… not a therapist." Clem says and I chuckled quietly.
"Enlighten me." I say.
"Maybe you feel guilt for killing her?" Clem asked.
"Why should I feel guilt for killing that bitch?" I mutter.
"You shouldn't… but you have questioned it especially to me." Clementine says.
"I don't know much, all I can say is that maybe you feel some form of guilt for killing someone, even if they treated you like that because you think yourself have become a monster just like her?" Minerva asked. I take a breath.
"I have to be… why else would I keep seeing her? Why she's haunting me… why Tenn and Mary haunt me." I say and look to the other side to see Minerva as she looked to me.
"Those are two different forms of guilt… you feel guilty for not helping them, you blame yourself for not protecting them but it wasn't your fault." Clem says.
"Should have stayed at the school… should have." I mutter as I looked to the side a bit then back to Minerva. I feel Clem rubbing my back and I looked to the ground.
"If we didn't leave Tenn would be alive… Christa would be alive and so would Mary, she would have never lost her mother if I had just… didn't go for your hat I'm so sorry." I tell Clementine.
"It wasn't your fault." She says.
"But I started it." I say quietly as she felt my head gently.
"No, no it's… it's complicated Violet." Minerva says and I just keep quiet.
"Violet… it's not your fault, things happen… I blamed myself for every death in every group I have been in… hell I still blame myself for Brody being killed if I just… if I hadn't come near the school or stop at the train station… I blame myself even for Marlon's death, AJ does too, even though he was a bad person we still can feel guilt for it…. I still blame myself for Lee every day for almost twenty years." She tells me and I nod just a little bit.
"So, it'll never go away?" I asked.
"No, it won't, I will not sugar coat it at all." Clementine says and I nod at this a little bit.
"What you and I can do is take a day where we talk about it, little therapy sessions I guess you can call it… even if we just chat for five minutes." Minerva says and I look to Clem who nods and I look to the ground.
"We, can do that." I say quietly at this and I get up slowly.
"Ok." Minerva says and I nod at this.
"I'm going to make sure Javier and them leave." Clem says and I look to her.
"I… we." I mutter a little and she grabbed my face gently and I look to her and she kissed me and she smiled at me and I moved back so she can move and as she leaves, I take my seat back to the wall and I look to Minerva.
"Are you ok?" she asked and I nod a little.
"Do you still see Joan?" She asked and I look everywhere and I see nothing of Joan and I look to Minerva and shook my head.
"No, I don't see her." I tell her and I look down to the ground.
"How about you and I make a little deal here." She says as she moved the board back and handed me another bottle and I look to it.
"Think you can keep that bottle full and unopened for a week?" She asked and I look to her then to the bottle.
"If you can, you can have a drink, but only once a month, ok?" She asked.
"What is this supposed to do?" I asked.
"See if we can control your drinking issue… I know you want more right now, you did ask for another drink after your first one… I only allowed because you looked like you needed it." She tells me and I look to her.
"So, I am only allowed to drink once a month… and I can have this bottle if I don't drink it for a week?" I asked her and she nods.
"And then I will give you another bottle when the next month comes around and we can do it again… now I am going to change where I hide the bottles here." She says and I nod.
"Ok… and I get to have this when we do another… session?" I asked her and she nods at this.
"So, like a treat?" I asked and she nods and I look at the bottle and I nod and put the bottle in my pocket and I try to get up and Minerva helped me.
"Hard to get up with one arm." I mutter.
"Yea, but don't worry, we're going to get you a new one… then you can pull it off and whack people with it." She says and I laughed.
"Oh god I remember talking to Clem about taking her foot off an lighting it on fire to scare people." I tell her and she laughed at this. We head out to the middle of the trailer park where I don't see Javier or David, not even Kate, but Bonnie and the others were still here and we go up to them.
"I am sorry for yelling at all of you, I was angry." I tell them.
"Nothing to be sorry about, you were in your right to be angry and we don't hold it against you." Russel says and I wave my stump a bit and he laughed at this.
"Stump buddies?" He asked and I nod a little.
"Clem can join too… even if it was her leg." I joke and he laughed and we looked to Clem who looked to me and waved it off.
"Nah you two have your little club." She tells me and I nod and look to him.
"I can help you get use to living with one arm." He says and I nod at this.
"Well, we will get the food ready, I think we need to relax." Omar says and I nod and I go over to Clementine as she goes up to AJ.
"Hey you good?" AJ asked and I nod at this.
"Clem… I want to make my own arm." I tell her.
"Are you sure?" She asked and I nod at this.
"Yea, I think I should have a hobby and… I can work on your leg and… I think it would be good." I tell her.
"Alright… we can get the parts but I want to get you a prosthetic from a hospital as well." She tells me and I nod a this. We go and walk around the wall a bit and I feel the bottle in my pocket. I patted my leg a bit and my arm started to itch so I went to scratch it but I couldn't feel it and I look to not see my arm there and I take a breath and moved my arm away.
"You know there is this one trick I learned a while back, mind if we try it?" Clem asked and I nodded as all three of us went into the house and Clem made me sit at the table and I look to AJ as he looked to me then to where Clementine was. She comes back over with mirror and placed it where my stump was blocking it but it showed my other arm. It made it look like I had both my arms instead of one.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Mirror therapy, it helps with phantom pains." She tells me and then she took a seat next to AJ and looked to me. I looked to her a bit and I flexed my hand a little making the mirror image move.
"Watch this." Clementine says and takes a small paintbrush that looked like it was never used so it was soft to the touch as she stroked it to my hand and I look to the image a bit.
"Don't look at the stump, ok? just look at your hand." She tells me and I nod and looked to the hand that was being brushed ever so gently.
"How does this help?" AJ asked and I looked to Clem.
"So when I was reading one of the books you and Violet got years ago, I saw a small study in the book, that told how to help with phantom pains." She says.
"But how does this help?" He asked.
"Well… Violet how do you feel?" She asked me and I could feel my hand being brushed. But as she kept doing it, it felt like she was brushing both my hands and I moved a bit.
"I fucking felt that." I say and moved my arm and saw it was a stump.
"How?" I asked.
"The image in the mirror is tricking the brain into thinking there is two healthy limbs, they do it for people who lost limbs like arms and legs, feet, hands, could have used it for fingers too." Clem explained.
"That's so weird." I say and Clem gently moved my hand back and my stump and I look to my hand again as she brushed it. She did this for about ten or twenty minutes and I look to Clementine and then back to my hand. It felt like she was brushing both of them and it felt nice while it lasted.
"Did you try this on yourself?" I asked and she nods.
"I'm sorry I should-."
"I didn't tell you because you were busy and I didn't want to add more to your list." She says.
"I should have made time." I say quietly.
"You have time now." She tells me and I nod. A week would pass us by faster than I thought, Bonnie and the others left a few days ago and I was currently working on an arm for myself and I look to the booklet I look to Minerva as she sat across from me.
"Would you like your drink?" She asked and I think and place it on the table and she grabbed it then opened it and placed it in front of me. I look to it and then I looked back to the prosthetic and I work on it.
"I'll drink when I feel like it." I tell her and I look to her and she nods.
"Ok, that's fair." She tells me and I look to my arm and I moved the prosthetic a bit.
"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" She asked.
"Hmm… think I could make one of those bionic arms like in the comics?" I asked.
"Probably not." She says and I snap my fingers.
"Dang I mutter and work on it a bit and then when done I look to Minerva and then to my shirt and she nods as she turned around and I took my shirt off and placed the prosthetic to my stump and I put the strap over my head and moved the straps to keep in place. I grabbed my shirt and put it back on and I look to the prosthetic and then to Minerva.
"I'm good." I tell her and she turned back around and nods to me. I then hear the door open and I look to see Clementine and I smile at her and she looked to the table.
"I thought… where did you get that?" She asked and I look at the bottle then to Clem.
"I found it Minerva was telling me not to drink it." I lied to her.
"Clem she's lying, I offered it to her." Minerva says to her and I look down.
"Minnie." Clem says.
"My fault." I tell her.
"No-."
"I wanted a drink, but I haven't taken one yet… don't think I need it, so I didn't take a drink." I tell her honestly.
"…. You only have that?" She asked.
"I have more but we agreed that we would do this once a month and if she thinks she feels like she deserved one after our session." Minerva says and I nod and Clem looked to me a bit. She then looked to my arm and I moved it a bit.
"Not the same but it's better than nothing." I say to her and she nods.
"I can see that." She says and takes a seat.
"Is it ok with Clem being here?" Minerva asked and I nodded.
"Yea it's fine with me." I say and looked to the bottle a bit and then to my arm.
"So, bionic arm hu?" Minerva asked.
"Yea I wanted to put a rocket in her fake leg but… that's to much to ask." I say and I smiled a bit.
"So, you want to talk about your arm today?" She asked and I think a bit and nod.
"Yea." I say and look to my arm a bit.
"Alright, so how do you feel?" She asked.
"I feel ok I guess… little hard to do some things but I'm able to work on my arm at least." I tell her and moved my arm a bit.
"Fair enough, you don't feel anything else?" She asked.
"Maybe I feel like I shouldn't be to dependent on people, I mean I haven't asked Clem to help me, even though I needed it." I tell Minerva and look to Clem who nods at this.
"Not to be rude but I did hear some arguing a few days back?" Minerva asked and I sighed.
"Clem was helping me and I got angry at her… told her she shouldn't help me and she said it was ok but I got even angrier because I didn't think she should help me… she has her own problems to deal with." I mutter the last part and crossed my arm and I looked to the prosthetic and glared. I could tell it was fake and it pissed me off but I'm not allowed to get mad, it was my own fault to begin with.
"I don't mind helping you." She says.
"I know you don't but I did this to myself, you got bit helping us escape, I got bit just so I could have some fun." I tell her and look to Minerva.
"Clem, you know how it feels when you have to be dependent on others." Minerva says and I look at Clem.
"I know but don't you think-."
"Clem, you wanted to feel independent as if you didn't lose your leg, anyone who loses a limb would want to feel as if they didn't lose their limb… And just like anyone else, they will get angry if they feel like they are being a burden… didn't you feel like that?" She asked.
"I did but I didn't blow up like she does." She tells her and I nod at this.
"She only got angry when I asked her to get a better leg at Joan's, I just thought it was because Joan's people were making a leg for her." I tell Minerva.
"Clem?" She asked.
"It was a little bit of both but that was because Violet's leg was fine for me, she mad it for me, it was my leg and I didn't want any other leg." Clem says and I look to her.
"I didn't want to lose what she made for me to help me, be me again." She tells her and I look down a bit.
"Violet… if Clem made you an arm don't you think if someone told you they needed to make you one, wouldn't you get upset?" Minerva asked.
"… Yes" I say quietly.
"Clem said it was because the leg you made, made her feel like herself… if that's how your arm felt to you if she made it, you'd get upset at this correct?" She asked and I nodded.
"… Yea." I say and she nods.
"But she had never gotten mad at me like I do to her." I tell her.
"Well, different people, different accidents, it's not all going to be the same." She says and I nod.
"Think Ruby is mad that we replaced her as our doctor?" I asked.
"Nah she's ok with it." Minerva says and I look at the table and I nodded a bit.
"But she did say if you needed to talk to her, it was ok." Minerva says and I nod at this.
"I think we should end this, I wanted to help Omar with making lunch, he said I could help with the bread." I tell her.
"Alright, session is over." She says and I look to the bottle then to Clementine and she looked to me.
"Do you think you need it?" She asked and I look to the bottle again.
"Is it ok if I do?" I asked.
"That's up to you." She tells me and I grabbed the bottle, looked to it and then took a drink and set the bottle down on the table and I look to Clem and I nod a bit. Minerva leaves and I look to the bottle a bit then to Clementine.
"Just one." I say and she nods.
"Just one is ok." She says and I nod and I get up. I grabbed Clem's arm and she looks to me and I look at her then to the side a bit and then to her and I smile just a little bit.
"Um… well I was wondering…" I stopped talking and tried to think and I let go of her.
"Wondering what?" She asked.
"We haven't… I want… to go stargazing… please?" I asked and I looked to her.
"Of course." She tells me and I smiled at this.
"Anything else?" She asked and I think and I take her back over to the table and she takes a seat and so do I and I look at her as she was in front of me.
"I had a nightmare last night." I tell her.
"Was it?" She stopped and I shook my head.
"No, not her… completely… just… Walkers." I mutter a bit.
"Walkers?" She asked and I nodded.
"I know it's stupid to have a nightmare about Walkers but… it's scary you know." I say and she nods.
"I'm not saying you can't have a nightmare about Walkers, they're still scary things." She tells me and I nod at this and I take a breath.
"But in the dream… I wasn't bit on the arm… a Walker grabbed me and it bit my neck." I tell her.
"Oh, so you were scared because that's the worst place to get bit." She tells me and I nod a bit.
"But the thing is… you weren't in the dream… I know it's morbid and shit but… I would want you to be there when I go." I tell her and she looked to me.
"Violet." She says.
"I know, I know… don't talk about it, don't think about it or I'll get depressed but I know if I didn't say anything it would just… I don't know eat away at me." I tell her.
"It's ok, and I wasn't going to tell you that you shouldn't talk about it, I'm glad you wanted to tell me, it's progress." She tells me and I look to my hand on my lap.
"Vi, is that why you left the bedroom?" She asked and I shook my head.
"I thought I saw her again but it was just the shadow playing tricks on me, but I didn't want to freak out and wake you up if it was… I just want her out of my head." I tell her and she places her hand on top of mine and I take a breath.
"I know… I'm sorry I don't… I don't know how to…" She stops and I feel the tears in my eyes.
"I'm not asking you to do anything I just… wanted you to know… I still see Mary and Tenn sometimes but I… I just wanted you to know what I'm thinking is all." I tell her and she pulls me to her and I lean my forehead on her shoulder.
"I just wanted you to know." I tell her again as she rubbed my back. I think for a bit and then chuckled.
"What's so funny?" She asked.
"I'm being a big baby." I laughed.
"No, you aren't, you're just emotional." She tells me and I chuckled at this.
"Big baby." I mutter and she laughs a little.
"You're not a baby, you're finally showing emotions." She tells me.
"Finally? Damn I must have been emotionless when we met." I say to her.
"I mean in the beginning, but I think I cracked your shell." She tells me.
"You crashed my shell?" I asked.
"I know you heard me you Casanova." She says and I pull back a bit.
"Casanova?" I asked and she nods.
"We still got that stereo?" I asked.
"Oh Louis borrowed it, but I think he'd be willing to let us borrow it back." She tells me.
"This is for everyone… we're going to have a party, like we use to back at the farm, little dances and stuff remember?" I asked and she smiled and nods at this.
"Alright, want to set up the lights we found?" She asked.
"The Christmas ones?" I asked and she nods and I think and nod at this myself.
"Yea, want to help?" I asked and she nods. We get up and head over to the old boxes of Christmas stuff we had found years ago and I looked to the box and think on how I was going to pick it up. I lean down and push the box onto the prosthetic and then lift it up and quickly put my other hand under it holding onto the fake arm to keep it from falling. I look to see Clem grabbing a box as well and we head to the door and she opens it up and we head out to the center of the trailer park and I set the box down.
"What's going on?" I hear and look to Willy.
"We are hanging up the Christmas lights, like party lights." I tell him.
"Oh, cool can I help?" He asked and I nod as we get to work. AJ, and the others came to help and I was on a ladder nailing one of the lights to the wooden posts we kept up on the trailers, and I hear Delilah below me.
"What are those?" She asked and I look to her.
"These are lights, for Christmas." I tell her.
"Oh, It's Christmas time?" She asked and I shook my head and hammered in the nail. The one thing I will say about loosing my arm is if I missed the nail, I wouldn't feel it.
"No, it's not Christmas time… I think." I tried to remember the date but at this point I can't and I moved my hand to grab the ladder and I slowly come down.
"Delilah want to help Dad set the lights on the porches?" Ruby asked and she nods quickly and runs over to Aasim and I look to her.
"Sorry-."
"You don't need to be sorry, nothing to be sorry about." I tell Ruby and she looks at me.
"I… we apologize a lot these days hu?" She asked and I nod at this.
"Yea we all overuse it at this point… still nice to hear when it's needed though." I state and she nods at this. Clem and Louis come over with the stereo and I grabbed the extension cord and brought it over to them.
"What, we going to have a party?" Louis asked and I nodded a little bit and I looked to the stereo a bit.
"Yea, little party." I muttered a bit.
"Hey Violet want to help me real quick?" Omar asked and I nodded a little and I looked to Clementine as she nods to me and I head over to Omar.
"Mind getting the fire started up for the pot?" He asked and I nod as I head over to the cooking area and I grabbed the wood and put it into place. I grabbed my lighter as I put some Firestarter under the wood and I light it up.
"AUNT VIOLET!" I hear and turn quickly as Aasim Junior and Delilah run up to me and I quickly stopped them before they hit the fire, I take a breath.
"What's up you two?" I asked.
"THEY HAVE MUSIC!" They both yelled and I laughed at this and I nod as we head over to where the music was being played and Omar nods to me as I looked to him.
"I got the rest thanks Vi." He says and I nod a bit and I go over to Clem as AJ is dancing. It kind of reminds me of the party we had before we saved Clem, Aasim and Omar from the boat with the raiders. I watched as Clem danced with AJ though careful of her foot and I shake my head as I see AJ when he was younger and we were in Joan's old community. We did have music and small parties like this with Delta and his family, Clem and AJ would dance and Mary would dance with me then run off to dance with Clem or AJ. I looked around a bit and made sure I didn't see her or even Tenn for that matter, until I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look in front of me to see Clem who is smiling at me and I smile a little at her.
"You doing, ok?" She asked and I nodded a bit.
"Yea, I'm totally fine." I say as I wave my hand a bit.
"Want to dance?" She asked and I nodded as Louis changed the disk and I hear a familiar song and both Clem and I laughed at this as we danced slowly. We danced quietly for a bit to the song and it finally got to the end and I sing it a bit.
"Remember when we were in the Howes and this song was playing?" I asked as we parted.
"Yea, it was fun… it was during better times I suppose." She tells me and I nod a little at this and rubbed her back gently.
"I miss everything from the old days." I mutter as we head over to the benches and watched as Louis would put in a new disk to play some song requests. A personal DJ at this point.
"Everyone misses the old days, but let's be fair by the time we're all gone the old days for these kids will be what we got brought into." Clem says and I nod and lean my back onto the table as I think.
"Yea, all they'll know is how much of a dick people raise others while we're just trying to raise them in a good way… all because people had forgotten the old days." I mutter a bit.
"And a lot of them had lived in it longer than us." She says and I nod at this. I looked around a bit and I look to my prosthetic and shake my head a bit.
"We can get you a long sleeve to cover it if it bothers you." She tells me and I shake my head.
"Nah it's fine… I'm just going to have to deal with it." I mutter and look around a bit then back to Clementine and I lean over to her a bit and she looked to me and I look to her.
"You, ok?" She asked and I nod a bit.
"Yea just wanting to look at you." I joked and she laughed a little and I back up a bit and looked to see AJ dancing a bit with Willy trying to see which one can dance better.
"I remember the little dances we had at that community." I tell her.
"Anything bad?" She asked and I shake my head.
"No… I just remember when we were happy… even at the farm too… it's good that I'm remembering the good times but then… I'm kind of scared that my brain will start bringing up bad thoughts and I'll just… get depressed again." I tell her truthfully.
"There are going to be days like that but just know I'm here… had to deal with your ass for what? Twelve years now?" She asked and I think.
"Probably thirteen at this point." I say and we laughed a little at this. I don't remember the years or anything, I don't want to, there is no point. At least in my mind.
"Damn… thirteen years since we met." She says and I nod and rubbed my face a bit feeling tears and I take a deep but shaky breath. Why was I feeling so sad? We're supposed to be having a good time, so why am I feeling like this, I have no reason, no right to feel this way.
"Vi?" I hear and look to Clem and I wiped my face again and I look to the ground a bit. I shake my head and just keep to myself and I feel Clementine place her hand on my back.
"Fucking hell." I mutter and took a breath and looked around again.
"You, ok?" She asked and I nod a bit at this.
"Yea, yea I'm fine just… don't know why I feel like this." I tell her.
"How are you feeling?" She asked and I shake my head and I just looked to the ground.
"We can talk about it later." I say and look to her. She nods at me and I place my hand on my head and felt my hair a bit and gripped it a little. I closed my eyes a bit and take a breath and looked to the others as they paid us no mind. Or they knew I was having this small melt down but didn't want to interrupt or upset me. Knowing me though I would go off on them again, I would just be a bitch at this point. As everyone danced or helped Omar with something for dinner, I just sat here like an idiot thinking to myself internally calling myself a bitch which I was.
"Violet?" I hear and feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up to see Minerva and she hands me a plate. I look at it and take it gently from her and set it on the table and then just went back to my thinking. I didn't feel hungry, but I know it had been a while since I had eaten.
"Are you ok?" I hear and looked back to Minerva.
"Yea, I'm fine." I tell her.
"Seems like you're zoning out." She says and I looked to the table then I look to Clem who didn't leave my side and I looked anywhere else.
"Not zoning… just thinking." I tell them.
"We can talk about it later." Clem tells her and I look to see Minerva nodding as she goes and takes a seat next to Clementine.
"Well, I want to know what we are going to do tomorrow." She says and I think and looked around a bit.
"Need to go hunting." I mutter and looked to both of them.
"Louis and A-"
"I want to go… hunting that is." I tell them both.
"No you will not be doing that." Clem tells me and I look to her a bit.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you don't know how to hunt with one arm." Minerva says and I look to her then to Clem.
"We can practice with bottles an-."
"I just want to go on a little hunting trip, nothing big." I tell them.
"And if a Walker tries to get to you?" Clem asked.
"Got a fake arm to use." I tell her simply.
"That's not funny." She tells me and I look to the side a bit.
"Wasn't trying to make it funny, but I am sorry if I made it sound like that." I tell her.
"Still." She says and I pat her back a bit and then grabbed my fork and ate a little.
"I still want to go hunting." I tell her.
"Violet." Minerva says and I look to her and she looked to Clementine and I slightly look down to her as she kept her head down a bit. She looked to be thinking a bit, probably on a way to keep me from going out or try to sneak out again. I look back to Minerva as she looked to me and then I feel a tug on my pant leg and looked to see Sasha and I pet her head gently and gave her the meat on my plate.
"Or maybe… I could practice shooting… get the hang of it with my arm you know." I say Sasha looks up to me as if I was supposed to give her more food, I think and hand her some of the spinach which she sniffed at but didn't take a bite and runs off and I tries to get some more food from others.
"We need to find more meat especially with the dogs." Minerva says.
"There's a really good hunting grounds a few miles out that way." I point in the direction and looked to Minerva.
"Last spring, we found a lot of bucks, salted the meat lasted us a good while." I say and she nods.
"We can do that." She says and I nod.
"Can I at least go fishing?" I asked Clem and she looked to Minerva and then back to me.
"That seems ok… who would go with you?" She asked.
"AJ of course… and you if you want." I suggest. She takes a breath and looked to me then to Minerva and I eat a little more food. They seemed to be thinking a bit on if I should or should not be allowed to go but I think they finally caved just a bit.
"Alright… alright we can go fishing tomorrow, and then test out you with a gun." She tells me and I nod at this and we finished up dinner. I helped Omar with the dishes and I was able to dry them off at least. We go and bring the dishes back to his house and I head on over to mine and Clementines. I was just about to head into the guest room before I am stopped and I look to see Clementine beside me. She placed her hand on my cheek and I hold it with my good hand. I look to her and she leans up and kisses me and I kissed her back gently. She places both her other hand on the other side of my face and I pulled back a bit and looked to her.
"Why don't you sleep in our room? You haven't slept in it for a while." She asked and I looked down a bit and I tried to think of something.
"Is it because of your arm?" She asked and I look to it a bit then to her.
"No… no just… afraid I guess." I tell her and looked down at her.
"Afraid?" She asked and I nod.
"I don't want to hurt you again."
"You… sweetie you haven't hurt me." She tells me and I rubbed my face a bit. She makes me look at her again and she kisses me once more. I kiss her back and place my hand on her hip a bit. must have been a good while of us kissing because we had to pull back to catch our breaths and I look to her. She puts her hands on my head a bit and I look to her then down a bit and back up.
"I uh… I don't think I can… um." I stopped myself and took a breath.
"We don't have to do that you know." She tells me and I look to the side a bit.
"I know I… I just… I have no idea, I guess I just… want to feel like I never lost it." I tell her.
"I know what you mean though in a different situation and different limb, but I can get an understanding." I hear her say and I kissed her neck gently. I pull her close to me and she grips my shirt a bit and I chuckled as I moved away from her neck and we stumble a bit into the guest room. I couldn't help but chuckle just a little bit.
"Remember when I use to just pick you up." I say and she laughs a little.
"Yea, you use to have noodle arms." She says and I put my head to her shoulder. I then moved my head away and go take a seat on the bed and look to Clem as she takes a seat next to me. I smile a little and then I lay down and look to the ceiling.
"You not taking the arm off?" She asked and I shook my head as I moved it to be placed on my stomach and I look to the ceiling more as I crossed my other arm on top of it.
"Nah it makes me feel… normal I guess." I tell her.
"I get that." She says and she lays next to me and I look at her. I then moved to look back at the ceiling for a bit and I closed my eyes as I tried to sleep until I had to wake up. It wasn't for a few hours though because I felt the bed shifting and I wake up and looked to see Clementine getting up so I get up as well.
"No go back-."
"I'm already up." I tell her as I get up completely.
"Besides… I still want to go fishing." I tell her and she looked to the door then back to me.
"You aren't backing out of the deal are you?" I asked her.
"No just… no I'm not." She tells me and I nod as I get up and change my shirt. Once done I follow Clem out who goes over to AJ and I go grab the fishing gear. I load up the truck and look back to its log book and traced my hand on the maintenance date from a few weeks back.
"Ready?" I hear and look to see AJ and I nod as I set the book back in the compartment and Clem comes over to my side and I nod a little as she then gets in the passenger seat of the truck. Willy and Omar opened the gate and I start the little road trip to the lake.
"I hope we get some catfish again that stuff was good." AJ says and I nod as I drove.
"I'd need to get more stuff to make it fried." I tell him.
"We can head into town?" He asked.
"No, not right now." Clem says and I look over to her and then back to the road. I kept driving till we finally reached the one lake and I parked the truck and looked around to make sure there were no Walkers or even people for that matter. We get out the truck and head over to the old boat ramp and I went to grab the old boat on the side before I was stopped.
"We can fish on land for now." Clem says and I look to her then back to the boat and I sighed but nodded as I go and help AJ grab the fishing gear and we get set up. I then casted out a line and handed it to AJ who nods and I grabbed one for Clementine as well. When they both had their lines out I look to mine and think for a bit.
"You ok there?" Clem asked and I nod a bit and think as I cast my line out and take a seat on the ground and set the pole between my legs and I look out to the lake a bit and test out on my reel and pulled the line back a bit. when I was satisfied, I looked back to the waters and then looked around the area again.
"Hey it's ok, relax." AJ says and I look to him then back to my line.
"So." I say as the quiet got to me and I reel my line in a bit.
"Think we will get anything big?" AJ asked.
"Probably not, to close to the land and I'm not sure I was able to cast the line out to the deeper ends." I explained.
"Why couldn't we take the boat this time?" He asked Clem.
"Just so we could get to the truck faster, that's all." She says and we stay silent for a while. We were able to get a few bites here and there and we put them in the cooler. Ever since we got the electricity working, we could store the meat in the freezers so they would last longer at least. I reeled my line in and saw that the fish took my bait and I sighed as I went to put another one on.
"I think we caught enough for a week or two." Clem says and I look to the cooler and I nod. I get up and AJ grabbed the poles and I went to grab the cooler forgetting my one arm was fake and I ended up dropping half the cooler but I slammed my hand on the lid so none of the fish would spill out.
"Violet are you ok?" Clem asked and I nodded and took a breath.
"Fucking forgot." I mutter and AJ runs over to us and helped grab one end of the cooler and I grabbed the other and we lifted it up into the truck. I turn to the side a bit and take a look to the lake and then I take a side glance and see AJ looking at my fake arm and I nudged him a bit.
"Thinking?" I asked and he looked to the lake.
"No not thinking." He says and I shake my head a bit.
"Always thinking." I tell him and he sighed.
"It's my-."
"Ain't your fault, don't say it is because it's not." I tell him and then I go to the front of the truck and I get in. I hear the back door open and close and I began to drive back home and I look around a bit.
"Vi everything ok?" Clem asked.
"Everything is fine." I tell her and drive some more.
"Are you sure?" She asked and I nodded as I kept my eyes to the road.
"Yes, everything is fine just-." I slammed my foot on the break jolting the truck big time and Clem had her hand on the bar.
"THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" AJ yelled and I looked around and got out the truck.
"Violet… god damn it." I hear and I looked around a bit.
"I swear to god I thought I saw something." I say and I looked into the woods.
"Violet get back here." I hear Clem say but I looked around and I see a kid. They had a gun pointed at me and I raise my arm up.
"S-stop right there." She says and I look around.
"Where is your group?" I asked.
"Violet." I hear and turn to see Clem and AJ as they come up to us.
"Shit." AJ says and I stopped him.
"They were attacked a few days back, I-I swear." She says and I lower my arm a bit and come up to her slowly. She keeps the gun on me and I see some blood on her arm.
"Can I look at your arm?" I asked and she shakes her head and I look to Clem who told AJ something and he runs to the truck.
"Sweetie your arm might be hurt." Clem says and the girl looked at her and then to the ground a bit. I slowly grabbed the gun from her and set it to the side and she started to cry.
"Shhh, it's ok, I swear we won't hurt you." I tell her and I take a seat on the ground with her as I move her sleeve a bit to see a large cut. It seemed dirty and AJ comes over with the first aid kit and I look to the girl as she wiped her tears a bit.
"Hey' it's ok." I tell her and I opened the box. Clem went to her side and tried to calm the girl down. I grabbed some bandages, alcohol wipes along with a needle. AJ helped thread it and I look to the girl and her cut.
"How did this happen?" Clem asked.
"B-Bad man." She says and I nod a little as I get to work.
"What happened to your arm?" The girl asked and I looked to her.
"A Walker bit me." I tell her and I grabbed the needle and Clem held the girl gently.
"This is going to hurt, ok?" I tell her and the girl nods as I get to work.
"Why didn't you turn?" She asked and I look to her then her arm.
"Well, my friends helped me take my arm off… My wife her lost her leg too." I tell her and she looked to Clem who nods and rolls her leg up a bit to show the girl.
"But… my mom got bit and they said there was nothing we could do." She tells us and I look to Clem sadly.
"It depends… if you don't get it cut in time then yea there is no hope." I tell her as I finished the needle and AJ cut it then went to burn the needle and put it in a small plastic bag so we could get rid of it. I was able to wrap her arm up and she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Do you have any family?" I asked and she shook her head.
"No… dad and mom are gone." She says quietly and I look to Clem and she rubbed her neck a bit.
"AJ take her to the truck." I tell him and he nods and I get up from the ground as does Clem.
"Violet." She says.
"Don't… She doesn't have anyone." I tell her.
"We don't know… She looks seven maybe eight." Clem tells me.
"Clem… I hope you aren't thinking-."
"No… I'd never want to abandon a kid… I just… how are the others going to react?" She asked.
"I don't care what they think." I tell her and she sighs and we head on back to the truck. We all get in and I start driving back to the house and as we finally get to the gat they open up and I pull in and park at mine and Clem's house. I looked to see the girl had fallen asleep and I get out the truck as did the other two and I go over and slowly wake the girl. She looks to me a bit and I motion for her to grab ahold of me and she does. Placing her arms around my neck I was able to pull her out and hold her to me with one arm. It was a bit difficult but I was able to carry her into the house as AJ opened the door for me and I take her to the guest room. I lay her on the bed and she cuddles a bit into the pillow and I cover her up with the blanket and looked to her a bit before I headed out. I closed the door and headed out to help AJ with the fish.
"What was that?" I hear and look to Louis.
"A kid." I say and grabbed one end of the cooler as did AJ.
"Duh, why is she here?" He asked.
"She was alone and hurt, Louis please don't start anything." Clem tells him and I nod as we take the cooler to the picnic table.
"Are we going to be able to feed another mouth?" He asked.
"Yes, now drop it." I tell him. He sighed and goes off on his own and I rubbed my head a bit and looked to Clem as she helped me clean the fish.
"I think he's just worried." She says and I look to her.
"About?" I asked and AJ held the fish for me and I started to scrape the scales off.
"…Mary." She says quietly and I stopped and looked to her.
"Clem." AJ says.
No, it's fine… I get it Clem but I wasn't going to leave the girl, you saw how scared she was." I tell her.
"I know I know it's just… I don't want you to… get hurt again." She tells me and I nod. I get back to work on the fish and we kept quiet.
"I'll be fine, don't worry." I tell her.
