Four months.

That's how long Jasper's been sneaking out of Volterra to visit Alice at Forks, he would walk across the bottom of the ocean from Italy to Washington, it was faster and no one would know about the constant trips.

The Volturi had a private jet, but of course he couldn't use it, they would know , he couldn't travel on human filled airplanes either, that was a recipe for disaster, plus, the humans would be on him like bees on honey due his constant trips between countries.

The last thing he needed was to be tagged as some kind of smuggler or criminal in general.

So walking at the bottom of the ocean was, he even brought Alice several sea shells and sea glass from the depths of the sea, of particular colors and strange patterns.

The first time he did it it was because he saw a bright yellow piece of sea glass and he couldn't help but be reminded of Alice's beautiful eyes.

Thus.

He had taken it to her.

It became an habit, she liked them and so he spent his trip filling his pockets with sea glass and sea shells he thought she would like, he even found two golden filigree bangles at some point at a shipwreck.

Alice would wait for him at the beach each time, he would hunt with her sometimes, but for the most part he would just walk alongside her and hear her talk just about anything and everything, she talked, a lot, but he liked her voice, he liked hearing about what had her so happy, so excited, her eyes always twinkling with her excitement.

It helped him forget about Volterra.

Her emotions were fresh and light unlike the ones back in Volterra. She was warm and cozy and just everything he could ever wish to bask in, she was like a drug he couldn't get enough of, overwhelming at times, but a good kind of overwhelming.

In all that time she had taught him how to be gentle when hunting animals, precise, never let them suffer for too long, she had also taught him how to make flower crowns, had put a few on top of his head, weaved some other flowers into his hair, it had taken him some time to get used to her touch, he had grown so used to pain that the sole idea of being touched at all put him on edge.

But her touch was so gentle, so fluttering, she touched him as if he were made out of glass, he would have found it insulting had it been someone else.

Strangely, he couldn't find it in himself to feel anything but fascination towards her, he liked her voice, both when she spoke and when she sang, he liked their walks, and the flower crowns she put on him, the water fights at the river or the beach, and their little games to see who could get the most hops from the pebbles at the river.

Her laughter filled him with such a wonderful feeling, she made him feel lighter, warm, cozy, like the darkness in his mind wasn't as thick.

And when she just sat with him in complete silence, her head resting against his shoulder, those were the moments he treasured the most.

He wasn't quite sure of the reason, but the touch he had found so uneasy initially was something he extremely craved a lot.

It wasn't until she had convinced him to show her his hands that he realized the truth behind what he felt.

He had expected fear, disgust. His hands were littered in scars, both from newborns and from himself.

But all he had perceived was sadness, and such warmness.

She had rubbed the scars with her thumbs with such gentleness, and then she had done the most unexpected thing.

She had kissed his hands, each one of his scars, at first he had tensed over the odd action, no one had ever done such a thing, and still…

It had burnt something deep within his chest, pain, warmth, even his throat had burnt, his vision blurring, the blazing heat in his chest spilling out in the form of silent tears she had had the mercy of not commenting on.

That was the moment he had realized he had fallen for her. And he fell hard and right down the rabbit hole.

Because God, she was so beautiful and so bright, she chased the demons away, like a beacon of warmth and light that enveloped him, keeping all the darkness away, he wanted to do nothing but bask in her emotions, holding her hand was another wonderful thrill.

She was a wonderful thrill.

She made him feel something he hadn't felt in such a long time.

Happiness.

He felt alive, like the world wasn't as dark anymore, everyday, he would be desperatedly waiting for the day to end so he could sneak out and go see his beautiful ray of sunshine.

She helped him forget about the pain, the darkness, the loneliness, the emptiness, about everything.

He loved her.

But he also knew he couldn't like her like that. He just couldn't .

She was so beautiful, so lively, so wonderfully perfect.

And him?

He wasn't good looking let alone someone she would want something to do with.

He had no right to like her.

She was just a friend.

Alice deserved so much more.

A creepy looking murderer had no right to have feelings for such a gorgeous woman. He was lucky enough she became his friend.

He shouldn't ask for more.

He had no right to ask for more.

Especially from someone like Alice. He didn't want to lose her.

Her friendship was something he had grown to value a lot, and he would rather die than risk losing her from his life.

He liked to think that that was the reason he felt so attached to her, the reason for him to feel the way he felt, he only thought he loved her because she was the first person to show him kindness and compassion in a long time.

He craved for her kindness, desperated for her gentleness and compassion.

He was confusing gratefulness with love.

That was it.

And while at first it was easier to ignore his feelings towards her if he thought like that… the feelings just grew stronger with each passing day.

So strong it sometimes terrified him.

Because why was he so attracted to someone he met not even four months ago? How could he be willing to trust her without a second thought? To crave for her touch when he would usually flinch away from others' touch? Why could he close his eyes around her? Let his guard down.

It was like nothing he had ever felt.

And he hated it.

He hated how vulnerable he was willing to let himself be infront of her without hesitation, hated that he loved someone that he could never have.

He tried his best to keep his distance with her while also making sure to not come off as if he were avoiding her, but Alice made it hard, she kept holding his hand, kept leaning against his shoulder and weaving flowers into his hair, smiling and laughing and dancing around.

It was as if she was aiming to steal his will with her sole presence.

He struggled to keep himself grounded, pushing the feelings down, because if he didn't, he would just end up getting hurt at the end. And at this point in life, he didn't think he would be able to survive such a loss.

Not really.

He had to be strong.

Love was a weakness. Love did nothing but get in the way and mess with your judgement.

He didn't need that.

He was perfectly fine on his own.

He had to have a clear head.

Lies .

He didn't want to be on his own. He was tired of the loneliness, of the pain, of just about everything, he wanted to stay with her, to never leave her side, to bask in her warmness for eternity.

But he couldn't.

Because they were from completely different worlds.

She was an angel who fed off of animals so as to not take the lives of humans, she posed as a human to be able to interact with them without suspicion, all she knew was peace and happiness.

While he… he was a monster who slaughtered humans to drain them of their blood, he belonged to the Volturi, overglorified vampires who thought themselves the absolute law, all he knew was death and destruction.

He was a demon.

And still.

He kept on traveling miles to see an angel.

And he wonders, if he were to look her in the eye, if he were to show her all the shadows inside him…

Would she run away?

Would she run away if she were to see his darkness? The wicked things inside his heart? The demon lurking behind the shadows?

He wanted to leave Volterra, but he was scared about what the Volturi might do, you just didn't leave the Volturi. Not alive. Not him.

Aro favored him a lot, at times more than he favored the twins. If he left, the man would be pissed beyond words, even more so if he left for the Olympic coven. What if they hurt Alice? He couldn't allow that.

But he wanted Alice.

But he had nothing aside from the Volturi.

What if she didn't want him anymore once she realized the kind of monster he was?

What if she saw the real monster he was?

What if she met The Major?

~

Alice was more than thrilled with how things had been going with Jasper, she had succeeded at befriending him, at first he would visit her twice a week, but now? He visited her every single day, bringing sea glass and sea shells for her, he even brought her two golden filigree bangles from a shipwreck, if the patterns were something to go by, she had a feeling it were the kind of thing a museum would kill for.

He was quiet, extremely so, but he was also curious, oh so curious, he had asked her so many questions about the vegetarian diet, questions not even she could have ever thought about.

There was something about his presence that never failed to make her feel at ease, she could breathe easier knowing he wasn't in the clutches of the Volturi, that he wasn't in pain nor being tortured somewhere.

He was so beautiful, so warm, so kind, he fed off animals when he visited, sometimes at least, his eyes were red when he came and they were tinged in orange when he left. Jasper made her insides flutter and her body feel warm. He made life feel brighter, he was so gentle, so soft. Like a southern gentleman.

She knew he had doubts about his place at Volterra, knew he wanted to leave. But she also knew that that would be hard, Aro would never let him go with the same ease he had let Carlisle or Eleazar leave…

She liked weaving flowers into his hair, it gave her an excuse to be closer to him, it had taken her a while to get him to stop flinching at her touch, to not fear her proximity, she didn't mean him harm, she would never harm him.

Sometimes, she forgot about the fact that they weren't really together, and she would lean her head against his shoulder, he didn't seem to mind, so she kept doing it, she also held his hand, maybe too much, more than friends should.

But she couldn't help it, touching him made him feel real, it helped her ground the fact that he was there, with her, that he was fine. She had managed to convince him to show her his hands at some point, needing to make him understand she didn't mind his scars, if she showed him that she accepted his scars he might be willing to stop using the muzzle around her.

He wasn't a dog, he shouldn't use a muzzle at all.

His hands were much scarred than the first time she saw him in her visions, and she knew most of those were from himself, she had kissed them all, wishing she could just kiss his pain away, he had looked so awfully at the verge of tears, he had cried, silent tears that while she made a point to not acknowledge in fear he might run off it had still broke her heart.

He didn't deserve this pain, this suffering.

She would do her best to make each one of his visits a pleasant one, teaching him games and speaking left and right with hopes of getting him to forget about Volterra even if just for a bit.

He still came injured at times, but he never mentioned it and he made a good point at ignoring her questions regarding that if she mentioned it, she hated seeing him hurt.

But at least she could give him some peace of mind now, he wasn't alone, she was here for him.

He still wore the muzzle, still refused to let her see his face, but at least he wouldn't wear the gloves around her as much unless his hands were hurt, and he no longer wore the hood around her.

So she guessed he was comfortable enough around her, she did knew something was changing.

She knew it in the how he would give her flowers he picked up during their walks, sometimes putting one in her hair, something about his stares had changed, those were softer, and he would rest his head on hers whenever she leaned against him.

It never failed to give her fluttering butterflies.

She knew her little escapades didn't went unnoticed, she knew the Cullens were suspicious of her behavior, but she couldn't exactly tell them the truth, she didn't think the Cullens would react well to her fraternizing with the "enemy", they wouldn't understand why was she seeing a Volturi, they wouldn't understand Jasper meant no harm.

None of them would be willing to listen let alone give him a chance, not after he killed Bree right infront of them, not when he was a Volturi, much less with him being The Major and Aro's favorite right alongside the twins, their fear would cloud their judgement.

She needed more time, more time to get Jasper to want to leave the Volturi, to acknowledge the fact that he didn't have to keep on returning to them, he wasn't their slave, he wasn't a prisoner, he could leave.

Or at least she hoped so.

~

The Cullens knew something is up with Alice, for the past four months she's been disappearing at random for prolonged amount of time, and alright, that wouldn't be suspicious considering she liked to wander around a lot.

If it wasn't for the little detail where she came back smelling like the ocean… and someone else.

But no one could figure out the who, one thing was clear though, the strength of the smell was enough to tell it was a male.

She hid it from Edward with such a possessive obsession it surprised Edward himself, she hid thoughts from him at times, but never so blatantly, never so obsessively.

But no one pointed it out, if she was seeing someone it was none of their business, though that was easier said than done, Alice had never shown interest towards anyone, not human, not vampire, not a soul, she seemed extremely happy with just being by herself.

She had even shut down Carlisle and Esme's initial attempts to get her with Edward when she first arrived, both of them had such a strong bond, but she had left clear she didn't like him as nothing but a brother.

Alice was all over the place when she got to plan someone else's wedding, she never seemed sad nor envious, just excited for the couple to be.

She was… the idea of her liking someone at all left more than one feeling a bit too alert and worried, she could be a bit too naive at times, too innocent, what if it was some sort of creep? A bad person?

But she knew she could trust them, if the house didn't fell when Edward brought a human certainly nothing would happen with whoever had caught her eye.

It wasn't one of the wolves as a few of them had first thought, she seemed to have a great relationship with the packs, especially with Seth, but who wasn't close to Seth? He was the best among all the wolves.

But if it were one of the wolves the smell would scream it all over the place.

It wasn't human either, again, the smell would scream it all over the place.

But the smell wasn't like a vampire's, it was too dull, faint, so what was it? What would make her feel the need to hide it from them? What was it with all the mystery?

Emmett had tried to follow her once, but Alice was nothing if not smart when it came to avoiding people, he had lost her.

Strengthening the curiosity and worry about her mystery "friend".

Emmett was the one who ended up voicing the elephant that had been sitting in the house for the past months when he caught sight of her walking through the doorway with yet another handful of interesting colored sea shells and sea glass.

-Is prince charming a merman?- He questions as he climbs on the couch's armrest. In his defense, it would explain the salted water smell and the sea shells and sea glass. Werewolves, witches, shapeshifters and vampires existed.

Who was to say merfolks didn't?

-What? No, he's a vampire.- Alice tells, she seems honest enough, but Emmett won't stop there.

Not when she answered with such ease something that none of them had dared ask sooner.

-If he's got legs then what's stopping him from coming here? Why are you the one who has to go to him?- Alice makes a face at that and Emmett feels Rosalie's warning look on his back without even needing to turn to look at her.

But he knows she's just as curious as him, hell, everyone is, they just were being respectful and keeping quiet until Alice decided to bring it up herself.

But Emmett was dying here, he needed to know what kind of guy was his sister seeing, was he decent? Or was he some kind of creep taking advantage of her? But Alice was a great judge of character, she wouldn't fall for a jerk, but he still felt paranoid over what kind of guy was his sister seeing in secret.

-Because he can't come here.- Alice's blunt answer caught more than one off guard.

-Pretty sure that if a human could, anyone can.- Rosalie muttered under her breath as a statement of fact, what could be more dangerous than a human?

-No, it's… complicated.- Alice conceded, not sure how to explain it. Jasper coming here wouldn't end well for either side.

-Dear, anyone you might like is welcomed here, no matter what or who they might be.- Esme's words got Alice making a face.

She knew Esme was being honest, she was nothing if not eager to see all her children find love and happiness, but this was different, Esme might be willing to accept anyone but…

-Not him.- She bit her tongue when she realized what she said, that was not meant to be said out loud.

-What is that suppose to mean?- Edward questioned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

Silence was his answer.

Alice wished she could tell them, but she couldn't risk it, she couldn't tell the Cullens about Jasper, not when there was the risk of Aro reading their memories and catching sight of whatever she might tell them about Jasper, none of them would know how to evade Aro's gift.

Just Bella, but she didn't want to just tell Bella, she wanted them all to know, just not yet, it wasn't the right moment.

Because the last thing she wanted was to put Jasper at risk and make things worse for him.

None of them would ever understand what could happen were she to tell them about Jasper.

He wasn't treated with the same respect as the others, he was the only one who would get punished, the only one who would be muzzled, put in chains.

And worst of all?

He was the only one who was poisoned with vervain, a small enough dose to do nothing but keep him weak, not too weak for him to notice, but not strong enough for him to be able to overpower the Volturi as he would have been able to do in the past.

Aro recruited him, but he still feared his power, his mind, knew that no one could control The Major, not really, not as he wanted, thus, he made sure to break Jasper so as to keep The Major in check through him.

Because if Jasper was afraid enough, if he was depressed enough, he wouldn't have the fight in him, he wouldn't let The Major fight either, not against those who gave the orders.

The Volturi had him on a tighter leash than María ever did, broke him worse than she ever did, filling him with self-doubt and self-hatred, shattering his self-esteem, destroying his confidence…

All for their own gains.

If the Volturi so much as suspected him to be entertaining the idea of leaving… that wouldn't end well.

-Nothing, like I said, it's complicated. All you need to know is that he's not dangerous nor is he gonna bring trouble for anyone.- She told, refusing to elaborate more as she turned around and left to her room.

Her answer did nothing but strengthen even more the others curiosity on who exactly was Alice seeing. Why so mysterious? What was there to hide?

~

Italy, Volterra. -

Jasper isn't sure of the reason, but he has a feeling something isn't right, he's sitting beside Alec, his gaze is fixated on the screen where Dry Bones and Bowser/him and Alec are fighting for the first place at the Mario Kart game.

And while the kid's emotions are bearable there's something lurking beneath, something he can't quite place but that makes a knot tighten at the pit of his stomach. Something isn't right.

He knows this as the hours stretch and Alec makes no motion to want to end their game, he never spent more than five hours max around him, if he did, Jane would come barging through the door to drag him with her or dump some tortuous job on Jasper.

Eight hours hit and Alec's still sitting there, now an odd game he can't place name to shows on the TV, all he knows is that the place looks like some kind of bank, and he can use his own watch as a weapon, the watch changes colors depending on the attack; red, blue, green.

There's also a wide variety of guns, such old designs though, he can't help but wonder how come Alec still favours the 64 model over the general modern ones most children would like.

But he guesses there's an appeal to it.

-What did I do this time 'round?- He finds himself asking even though he knows he won't get an answer, Alec and him are not friends, just sparing partners, coven mates, soldiers under the same leader, videogames' partners.

He feels the hints of something bittersweet in the kid's emotions, guilt? No, he can't explain it. It's that same emotion he had caught when Alec pulled him out of the pond after shoving him there after the newborn with the fire gift almost set him on fire.

-It's no use to give answers for questions one knows the answer of already.- Alec mutters, not sparing him a single glance as he comes face to face with him on the game, a rifle at hand, he begins shooting, red flashes at the corners of his side of the screen and Jasper curses his mild distraction.

Jasper manages to escape, but the red keeps beeping at the corners of his side of the screen, health bar too low. He glances at the clock on the wall, it's getting late, if he can't leave within an hour he won't be able to spend much time in Forks.

He makes a point to lure Alec into a sense of him being able to sneak up on him even though he can see him doing so, he waits in the room with the door open, right where a radiator is at, and when Alec steps in.

He shoots the radiator.

The explosion killing them both almost immediately.

-It's been nine hours and five minutes since we've been at it, won't Jane be displeased to know 'bout your whereabouts?- He questions as Alec gets up, pulling the thick cassette out of the console and throwing it into the basket where another bunch of videogames' cassettes are at.

-No, she's busy disciplining some of the new guards alongside Caius.- Alec tells as a statement of fact as he rummages through the bunch of cassettes.

To be honest? The last thing Alec wants is to be here, but he knows he needs to be here, he's not friends with Jasper, he doesn't have nor does he needs friends, all that matters to him is Jane.

And still.

He finds himself here making sure to keep Jasper from sneaking out, he could care less if he snuck out, he knows he does it all the time, he has no idea where he goes, but these past four months it's been different. He's been more…alert.

More than he's supposed to be. The vervain in his system should keep him loopy enough to make him easily compliant, easier to deal with.

Caius makes sure to spike the drinks from the humans in the tours who will be killed and brought to Jasper, all the vampires know which humans to not touch for these all hold purple bracelets given at the door as a "complementary gift" alongside the free drinks.

All the bracelets were different colors to not draw attention, but all the purple ones were given to those whose blood would be spiked with vervain.

Anyways, he's been more alert, Aro knows this, Caius knows this, anyone's who's spent enough time around him knows this, and that's not good, it means he's been feeding outside, on what? Alec has no idea for he never comes back reeking of human blood, and he knows Jasper usually hates hunting, with that of feeling other people's emotions.

He doesn't smell like human.

In fact.

He comes back reeking of salt and water, ocean.

Again, Alec could care less about what he does, but these escapades were different, he didn't knew how, but they were, he looked less… empty, less like a robot and somewhat more like a person.

Marcus claims something is changing, a new bond is forming among the dulled ones he has with the Volturi, this one is thicker, stronger, dangerous.

None of the others is pleased, Alec finds no surprise at this, if Jasper develops a strong bond with an outsider he might turn against them, who was the bond that was changing him? Is the question that prevails among the Volturi. He knows he should let him leave.

That Demetri and Felix are waiting to follow him to wherever he sneaks off to so as to slaughter the distraction, much like they had done with the street sisters in the past.

Emotions are a distraction. Such bonds are a liability. Their secret weapon cannot be allowed to lose its edge.

He knows that by keeping him here he's going against Caius' orders.

But a little part of him, one he can't seem to shut down no matter how hard he tries, doesn't feel comfortable with snipping this bond, Jasper's…

He's not his friend.

Alec doesn't care about the vervain that's been put in his preys since the moment he stepped into Volterra, he doesn't care that he's practically tortured for the slightest mistake that would never get nothing but a slap on the wrist were it committed by others, doesn't care that he's the one who does the torture at times.

It's not torture.

It's discipline.

Caius would say.

Some people need an incentive to show obedience.

Jasper is one of those people.

Alec doesn't care about him, Jane hates Jasper, Alec will never care or give thought to people who displease his sister, she's the only one he cares about, the only one he needs, because without her he has nothing, she's the only one he can trust, no one else is trustworthy.

And still.

Why does he feels like he needs to give him something after every single discipline he puts him through? Something to help ground his broken mind? Why does he feels like he needs to keep quiet about his sneaking out habit? Why is he keeping him here now?

He doesn't care about him.

He's not his friend.

And still, Alec pulls out the Donkey Kong cassette, the one he knows will take Jasper's absolute attention and hopefully get him to shut up and just play.

He's not helping him, he doesn't care what happens to him, with him or whoever the hell is lifting the emptiness off of his eyes.

He just wants to play, it's not his fault if he doesn't pay attention to the clock, it's not his fault he's terrible with dates, he doesn't care what happens.

He doesn't.

He's loyal to Jane, Jane is the only one who matters, she's the only one he can count on, she's the only trustworthy person in the world, no one else matters.

Then why is he doing this?

He doesn't know nor does he care.

Not really.

~

Forks. -

Alice stands at the beach, barefoot on the sand as she stares at the horizon, waves burying her feet underwater every now and then, she feels… disappointed, she's grown so used to Jasper's presence that his sudden absence makes her chest ache.

She knows he won't come, he's playing with Alec, she knows she can't expect him to always be by her side, but it still stings the sudden change, for him to not visit her and not even warn her about it.

It's an odd thing though, for Alec to just keep on playing with Jasper, the boy never stays with him for so long, both because it angers Jane and because Jasper gets… not quite right if he spends way too much time around Alec.

But he seems fine now, his attention focused on the screen of the old box for a TV Alec's kept since 2002.

At times she finds it quite surreal how different he looks when he plays videogames vs when he's by Jane's side or just about any other Volturi.

When he's with Jasper he looks like an actual 12 year old.

When he's with the others… he looks like a soldier child.

She watches them play, and she mildly wonders how can anyone play videogames for so long, Emmett would definitely love Jasper, he had Renesmee and Jacob to play with, sometimes Seth and Jared, or Paul, or Brady, or just about any of the wolves.

But all of them needed to sleep at some point.

So Emmett couldn't spend hours playing with a companion by his side.

She sighs before brushing the vision away, she stares at the horizon, watching as the sun begins to rise, bright oranges splashing across the skies alongside yellows and somewhat pink streaks, it makes the water sparkle with a pleasant shimmer.

She loves the ocean, it reminds her of Jasper, both in the fact that he comes out of it whenever he visits and also because it's so calm, filled with mysteries and an unyielding might.

Being able to become lethal in seconds, but still wielding such astonishing peace, it's as beautiful as it's deadly.

Just like him.

Not for the first time she wonders if she should disclose the whole truth to Carlisle, he knew Aro the best, the Volturi, would he be able to help her free Jasper?

But she couldn't risk telling them too much either, in case Aro read their memories, she needed to ensure Jasper's safety in Volterra above all, even if at times that knowledge felt like a curse.

A cross that at times weighed too much.

Because she wanted to help him, but she didn't knew how , the Volturi were more powerful, Jasper was vulnerable, and The Major…

Well, he could do something, if Jasper were to let him.

But that would never happen.

And she wondered for how long would he still keep on taking this.

How long before he decided to fight back, before he realized something wasn't right.

That the Volturi had been poisoning him for decades, using his physical vulnerability to destroy his mind.

-Jazz, do please open your eyes, I cannot save you if you don't open your eyes.- She whispers into the air, feeling her chest ache, a stray venomous tear sliding down her cheek.

Dropping onto the ocean.

How long before she can save him?