At last, this journal may proceed without being further bogged down by Galbatorix's interference… much like my life did all those years ago. I'm grateful that I was able to make a clean break from all my demons; to emerge from the ashes with a whole new identity. Torix's pet died alone and forgotten in a hole, and good riddance to her! The cost was high, but the reward was priceless. I now have the clarity and peace to be proud of the person I have become; with my wounds all covered in thick scars.
But back then?
I was falling apart! Only spite coaxed me out of bed. I was angry at the whole world, especially at myself, and I had the perfect target to whom I could pin all that pain: Galbatorix. He became the center point of my hatred. I confess the whiplash was…. disorienting. But, as soon as I started looking, I was gifted with a veritable windfall of things for which to despise that monster. I mean, really, the man makes it too easy! "Winning" personality aside, he was also a piss-poor king! (One need only see the mess he's made of Eragon's whole existence to understand that much. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.).
I made my stand in the gaps in Torix's control. If he chose to abandon his primary duties, then I would gladly "fill in" for him. If he saw me as a traitor no matter what I did… I may as well get some work done. But, of course, he had no mind to give me any authority of my own. Unfortunately for him, I was no longer in the habit of asking permission.
One (very special) trip to Teirm served two crucial functions. First, it reminded me why exactly my mission was necessary. Second, I became acquainted with a kindred soul who would assist me in the undertaking.
Even behind my closed eyes, the late afternoon light was dazzling. In the weeks since my return, I'd spent every spare moment out under the sun. This, more than any other cure, had begun to heal my body and soul. I'd acquired silly pink patches on my cheekbones, nose, and ears from sitting out in the sun, but I didn't particularly mind. I finally felt alive again.
My companion on this journey was not quite as rejuvenated. Katana's heart lay in my lap; heavy and warm. I hummed to her in our thoughts, though she paid me little mind. She still hadn't spoken more than a handful of words to me. No matter how lonely I feel, I can only wait for her. It was possible that she would never be ready to hear my full apology… and I would just need to live with that. No one can force a dragon to do a damn thing they aren't ready to do…. At least, no one with a soul.
To combat the isolation, I'd gotten into the habit of talking at Katana rather than to her. I still can't believe I'm really about to do this. I didn't expect His Lordship's records to be so detailed, let alone that I would actually find what I was looking for! But still… is it really any of my business to bother them after so long? No, no, you're right; I owe them that much. Even in her comatose state, I felt a wash of agreement. Right then. No more stalling.
I opened my eyes, staring down at the inky blue depths of her eldunari. The inner light seemed stronger, though that could easily have been my wistful musings. I carefully resituated her in my pack; she took up most of the space all on her own. The only other thing I'd brought was the blanket I kept wrapped around her and two crucial objects in the front pocket. The clothes on my back were all I needed; a plain blue linen dress and white under-shift nipped in with a grey apron. A matching scrap of grey cloth held my hair tied back (otherwise, the ocean breeze would whip it into a froth of knots). I still had no clue how to really take care of the mane; more often than not it was a frizzy mess.
I'd set off northward from Teirm on foot that same morning, and now I was almost out of daylight. The last hour of my walk was peaceful if absolutely nothing else. A good portion of it followed a rocky cliffside with a breathtaking view of the sea. The water was dark but the crest of each wave glinted in the light of the sinking sun. Above, the sky burned vermillion and amber; impossibly beautiful. I dragged my trip out a little longer, meandering along the edge of the cliff until a dingy purple impeded my fiery view. If I don't reach the house by dark, then I will simply have to wait another day.
Despite my best procrastination, the farm came into view with plenty of time to spare. A broad pasture of land stretched out from the road, split by a single dirt strip. This pathway led to the porch of an old farmhouse. It was two stories, but not particularly large, and washed a dull grey. The thatch on the roof had been freshly redone in patches, the shutters scrubbed down to raw wood. A dozen or so cows meandered in the field, nibbling at the grass and ignoring everything else.
I stepped up the porch slowly, still hoping for an excuse to turn back. But any chance of that evaporated as the front door yanked inward. I froze and stared down at a small girl, no older than ten, in the doorway. She leaned back, blinking up at me. "Dads, there's a lady!"
I swallowed and stepped back a little farther. Two sets of trotting footsteps approached one from around the side of the house and one from within. I turned to the side to see both at once. The first arrival came from within the house, scooping up the girl and resting her weight on his hip. "So there is, Carol! That's not a very nice way to say hello."
The second set of steps rounded the corner; winded from his sprint. He looked a bit like his brother, if just around the nose. He looked too old to still be actively working, at least into his fifth decade, if not more. He called out between pants, "Greetings, stranger! Wasn't expecting company." He dusted off his dirty hand on a pant leg and extended it warmly. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"
I accepted the shake. "I'm here looking for Robin?"
The hand-shaker gave me an odd look. "That's me! I don't owe you money, do I?"
I chuckled. "No sir, nothing like that. I have a message to deliver regarding your older brother."
His eyes opened wide as saucers. "Anthony? I haven't so much as heard his name in forty years!"
I swallowed hard. "Yes… I know."
Robin climbed up the porch steps two at a time. "Well please, come on in! Sam, can you put on some tea?"
"Sure thing." The man I now knew as Sam carried the little girl back inside, bombarded with questions from his little passenger.
"Who is that? Why is she here? Can she play with me?"
"I don't know," Sam repeated calmly. "Please come with me, Ms."
I followed them on numbed feet. The front door opened into a narrow hall, with steep stairs leading up to the second floor. At the end of the hall, a wood stove stood opposite the doorway in a rectangular room. The right wall was lined with counters and a floor-to-ceiling pantry. The right side of the room was mostly taken up by a round table and three sturdy chairs. Sam plunked the chattering girl into one of them. She kicked her feet and waved at me. I waved back. "She's adorable. Who's is she?"
Robin scrubbed his hands in a basin of water on the porch, cleansing beneath his nails with a coarse brush before traipsing in. "Sam and I adopted her a few summers back."
"Really?" I glanced between the two men, noting the warm way Robin rubbed Sam's shoulder. "Don't you get trouble from people out here?"
Robin frowned. "Most of them learned to watch their mouths a long time ago."
"And," Sam cut in, "We don't go out much. Most folks don't mind what they can't see."
"That hardly seems fair."
Robin shrugged and rubbed his neck. "So long as they leave little Carol be, I don't mind what they think of us. But enough about me!" He dropped into a chair and leaned forward. "You said that you have news about my brother."
"I do." I let my pack down to the floor gently, reached into a front pouch, and pulled out an envelope with a back wax seal. "I wish I came with better news."
Robin's energy melted out of him. He tried to cover it with a work-roughened hand, but his upper lip trembled violently.
I swallowed down my own emotions. My story would never hold if I broke down in front of them. "It happened many years ago. He had no location listed for any living relatives, but one of his surviving shield mates had enough information to guess where you might be."
Robin and Sam exchanged a meaningful look. Then Sam ushered their daughter outside, a hand on her head. That was all it took for the tears to finally break free from Robin's control, streaming down his soiled face in dingy streaks. He sobbed quietly into his hands. I sank into a chair and waited for him to calm down.
He sniffed at last and looked at me. "How did it happen?"
I swallowed. "He was the Princess's lead guard. It was a dangerous job, especially at that time… and eventually, it cost him his life."
"Really? Somebody put my brother in charge of something important?" Robin chuckled wetly, wiping his face with a handkerchief. "I'm sorry, I don't mean that. He and I used to always joke with each other back when," he sniffed, "when he was still home."
"His comrades wanted me to tell you," I took Robin's hands in mine, "that he was the noblest, bravest, most devoted knight. They were honored to serve alongside him. He lived and died as a true hero; you have much to be proud of."
Robin blinked hard as more tears leaked down his cheeks. "That means a lot to me. Thank you, Miss…?"
"I'm just a messenger. And speaking of, I have more to deliver." I plopped a purse stuffed to bursting with gold- more than his farm could probably earn in a decade- onto their table. "The noble sacrifice of one in his position warrants a gift of thanks to his surviving blood."
Robin's eyes widened again. "I-I can't accept this!"
"Of course you can." I squeezed his hands tighter. "Anthony earned this and much more in his years of service. There is no better place for it than here, supporting his beloved family. Especially since he has a niece that will certainly need a dowry someday."
Robin blinked at me. Then he leaned forward and wrapped me in a powerful hug. I'd never been particularly comfortable with that sort of thing but, slowly, I returned the embrace. Robin whispered, "I'm glad that he made a difference out there. That's all he really wanted. If he died a hero, then he died happy."
I nodded along meekly, patting the grieving man's shoulder.
-:- -:- -:-
It took me hours to extricate myself from their home. They showered me with thanks and invitations to stay as long as I liked. It was outrageously kind of them to offer, and I told them so, but I needed to leave. If I spent one more minute lying to their faces I thought I'd crack. Honesty is not noble when only harm can come from it. By the time I was outside again, the sun had long sunk beneath the line of the ocean, replaced by a waxing moon. I could still see just fine in the silvery light so I trudged back up the road, planning to rent a cheap room in the city proper. But that left me with a long, lonely walk with only my own thoughts for company.
Anthony… hopefully this will help you rest in peace. I'd done wrong, I knew, by waiting so long. True, he'd never told me exactly where his family lived, but the information had always been at my fingertips. What was I so afraid of? That was easy enough to reason out. To face Anthony's shadow, I'd first need to face my own reflection.
Heaven forbid. The thought cut through my own like a winter breeze. As frosty as her tone was, my heart lept at the source of the words.
Katana?
Who else?
I swallowed, trying to reign in my excitement. It's good to hear from you.
It is.
We're near the sea. I showed her my view, especially focusing on the lapping waves far below.
Deep are the waters here, and deeper run the memories. Her dreamlike thoughts crooned tunelessly; strains of music incomprehensible to mortal ears. Imagined phantoms of schooling fish danced playfully to her song.
I solemnly agreed. Not very far to the south, an all too familiar house stood abandoned. So many nights, lulled to sleep by the distant waves… I shook my head. Those memories were off limits; too painful to even acknowledge, let alone recall.
Katana's contempt was plain. How do you think I feel; abandoned to mope in a cave for days at a time?
I'm sorry-
I do not want your apologies, she sighed. It would have been less painful if she'd shouted. So long as you are changing, I am satisfied. She began to withdraw, fading away like a strain of song on the breeze. Just before she retreated fully from my mind, she added, The woman that left me there would not have made this journey. Keep this place well in mind if ever again you lose your way.
I bowed my head, though she could not see, and spoke though she could not hear, "Elrun ono, fricai. I will."
-:- -:- -:-
It was a little too easy to gain access to Teirm undetected. The gates may have been closed, but they could never put enough guard up on those walls to keep out someone who knew what they were doing. A few quick spells and I was strolling down the street like any other citizen. I should really put a word in with the ruling Lord. Then again, I don't much fancy sleeping in the woods the next time I'm in this situation. Decisions, decisions.
Teirm's nightlife was mostly centered on the dock. It was easy to avoid attention; the rowdy sailors were often too inebriated to bother anyone besides one another. But creeping along the edges of streets comes with dangers, especially for a lone traveler.
I felt the disturbance before I really knew what it was: something had bumped into my pack. Time slowed as my instincts took over. I whipped around, reaching out to snatch the wandering hand. The poor urchin could never have escaped. She was only a teen by the look of her. She had a large frame for a young girl but had clearly gone a long time between meals. Her brown hair was cut short and choppy, her round face already scarred with pox. She snarled like an alley cat, twisting her arm in my hold. And then a second body slammed into my side. I kept my footing, barely, but my grip loosened on the would-be thief. She and her partner sprinted off in opposite directions.
I chose to follow the girl. I was less interested in "catching" her. Rather, I wanted to know exactly where she was running. I ran out of patience for the crowd within the first half a block. Glancing around, I saw a stack of crates leaning up against one of the buildings. I scampered up them and leaped onto the nearest rooftop, shouting, "Hlaupa!" My spell formed a smooth barrier over the roof's peak. All I needed to do was keep my balance, jump at the end of each building, and watch the ground as I slid noiselessly along. It didn't take me long to find the girl's trail. She was walking calmly out on a main street. She glanced over her shoulder and turned into an alley. I threw up a simple ward behind her before dropping to the ground right in her path. She jumped with an alarmed cry, her back slamming against my ward. I held my hands up and said, "Wait! I just want to talk."
She squinted at me suspiciously. "What about? I didn't take nothing from you, so forget it!" Her voice was street-rough. The defensive sneer contrasted so painfully on her sweet face.
"I know. That isn't what I wanted to ask." I stepped farther back to calm her down. "I wanted to talk to you because I'm not easy to sneak up on. In fact, you're the first to manage it in quite some time. I'm not one to pass up talent."
She tilted her head. "Oh yeah? You don't work around here, do you? I know all the gangs, and you're not in any of them."
"The way you're talking, it seems you aren't either?"
She hacked and spat on the ground. "I'm starting one of my own. And we won't be like those sons of bitches; we're a family. We look out for each other."
Curious. I nodded approvingly and stretched out a hand. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Lilly. Who are you?"
She looked at my proffered hand like she thought it would turn into a snake. "Felice." Her bony fingers curled around mine in a brutally firm grip. "What the hell are you?"
I chuckled. "Your newest member."
-:- -:- -:-
An hour later, Felice sat cross-legged on the floor of my rented room. She was on her third bowl of stew and second hunk of bread. I sipped at a bottle of cheap wine, watching her with fascination. "Tell me more about this family of yours. What exactly do you do?"
My guest wiped her mouth on her shirt. "Everything. Some of us are pickpockets, some are burglars, some work the flesh trade… whatever we can do to make gold. Then we pile it all together and feed ourselves from there. The extra goes towards whatever else we need; blankets, medicine, weapons, and things like that."
"Not a bad setup at all. And none of the members abuse the system?"
"None that we keep around. That's my job. If they can't respect my family, they can't stay."
"How many members do you have?"
Felice crossed her arms. "I think I've said plenty, New Meat. Why do you want to join up anyway? You seem comfy enough as you are."
"It's complicated." I smiled at her unimpressed expression. "I have issues of my own with the current underground. I believe the branch in this area is led by a man named Silton?"
Felice jumped to her feet, suddenly a-lite with passion. "That rat bastard! Any enemy of his is a friend of mine!" She scowled ferociously. "He and his cronies roughed up one of our members a few months back, a singer named Sugar."
"What did they want with a musician?" I asked.
Felice looked at me like I was a moron. "Sugar is only a singer by day. By night she takes tricks or works infiltration. She's too sweet to resist, ya' know? Well, some of Silton's goons cornered her. Poor thing was laid up for weeks!" Her fists clenched so hard at her sides that her knuckles popped.
"Seems like you have every reason to want him out of your territory."
"That son of a bitch deserves to be fish food!"
I grinned. "What if I told you that, if we work together, I can put your little family on top in Teirm?" Felice looked skeptical, but I continued anyway. "We start by getting rid of Silton, and then the rest of his lackeys after him. He's only one branch of a very nasty tree, but a big enough branch that just his head could gain you a lot of credibility with the other gangs."
The girl sank back to the floor, eyeing me with a gambler's stare. "You have big plans. That means you're either connected or crazy. I'm not getting into bed with someone I just met, no matter how good the pitch."
I laughed. "Then let's call this a test run. If I succeed, you're free of a very dangerous enemy and I'm one step closer to making a new friend. If I fail I'll be dead, but you won't have lost anything."
Felice chewed her cheek. "I can't lie; it's tempting. You really think you can take him out?"
"I'm not the type to make empty promises; nor idle threats."
"Then we," Felice was the first to extend a hand this time, "have a deal."
What luck that I met this industrious young woman that fateful night! Felice is a real gem among my allies. She has all the fight of a stray dog, all the warmth of a doting mother, and the wiles of a career criminal. Our alliance may not have been sealed just yet, but I was very eager to undertake the job. Silton was one of Balor's little lackeys after all, and I had a war to resume! If Galbatorix wasn't going to curb that smug bastard, I would just have to do it for him.
