Chapter Three: Trips with people you hate.

Naruto stood in the lowest part of his new home,

It was a large room filled with surgery tables, a mix of surgery tools, needles, thread, and tons of fridges that had either organs, blood bags with different blood types, and a few were filled with boxes marked with [EMERGENCY PROVISIONS] on them,

He'd spent his time since he'd entered the house searching this exact room,

It was the most important room in the manor to him, the surgery room, a place where bodies and shadows could be stored until they were needed to defend Konoha, also it would serve as the entryway for the second most important room in the house, a small room hidden to keep the devil fruit he'd collected out of unwanted hands, and for safety purposes only he, Patchwork, and Pakura, could enter the room using two of three key cards needed to open the vault like door,

Though judging by the provisions placed in here Naruto doubted that his zombies were the only reason this room existed, it was likely meant to serve as a bunker for any Leaf citizens during a crisis, the very idea of opening his families home to those who would and have shunned and even harmed them, turned his stomach,

But he would bare with it, footsteps sounded on the metal staircase behind him and he turned, Both Pakura and Patchwork were unusually silent as they entered the room,

"Ladies," he greeted with a nod of his head,

"My Prince," Patchwork bowed, "The girls have bathed, eaten, and gone to bed,"

"And I moved the prisoners you had tied up in the apartment to our new holding cells," Pakura stated, "Is this place stocked up?"

Naruto nodded, "Everything I need and more is here, though you two might have to prepare for escape drills that come into this room," he explained,

Both frowned, "How... distasteful," Patchwork said,

"Distasteful? it's to be expected, they wanna make sure he's building an army that won't turn on them," Pakura stated,

"If our Prince desired it then the village should off themselves," Patchwork stated,

"Geez I remember you being more level headed then this,"

"That's because she isn't entirely dead," Naruto reminded Pakura, "the pieces I used to make Patchwork had not all stopped functioning when I used your shadow on them,"

"Right I forget that a lot," Pakura said poking the sewed woman's face, "So does she need a tune up or something?"

"Possibly," Naruto said, "I also need to acquire a new shadow for either her or you, the fact that one of you can't leave-,"

"I volunteer Kurenai," Patchwork said as she studied a bone saw, she ran her finger across the blade, "that way Yakumo would feel safe to leave the manor,"

"Absolutely not," Naruto said, though he did take the bone saw she'd touched off the stand, "Right now several people are likely being watched in case we try to enact any form of revenge," he said wiping the blood of the serrated blade, "Besides, you know my feelings on revenge," he said, he yawned afterward, and then he stared at both of the women, who glared back at him, "now ladies please under-" his placating was quickly cut off as both women pounced onto him and tied him up, He was shoved onto Pakura's shoulder and carried up each step like a sack of potatoes,

It happened so fast he barely had time to prosses being placed onto his sofa or Pakura's soft yawn as she said, "Goodnight patches, kid,"

Now Naruto was laid on his old sofa, still under restraints, his head placed on Patchwork's legs, "Is this truly necessary?" he asked as she covered him over with a quilt,

She stared down at him, "You are a Chunin now my prince, you'll need to sleep well now for you might not get a chance to do it later," she stated,

"Yes but the restraints, and my current head rest," he said, "Are they also needed?"

"I have read that a woman's legs make a perfect head rest," she reached down and gently played with his hair, "Without the restraints you'd just get up and out of resting,"

Naruto sent his shadow to the wall and replaced himself with it, "it's not like I couldn't esca-,"

"My prince," Patchwork shot him a fierce glare, "return to your restraints this instant or I'll not be the only lady joining you on this sofa," she warned him,

Naruto sighed, but again swapped places with his shadow, laying his head back on Patchwork's thighs," the happy zombie maid went back to playing with his hair, "Isn't that better?" she asked,

"I suppose so," he said, 'I wanted to check up on Haku,' he thought before chiding himself, 'it's my own fault for spending so long in the Zombie preparation room,'

And slowly Patchwork managed to get him to sleep, and after she had, she stayed entirely still, simply looking down and watching him sleep, after a few moments she leaned down and began whispering into his ear, about how he needed a wife and that there was at least one woman in the house who'd love to be his bride, nothing about her of course, being only semi-alive Patchwork wasn't even sure if she could have children, though if she could and he ordered such she gladly spread her legs, but she really hoped he'd try with someone with a pulse, hence why she whispered of the beauty of Pakura, though she loathed the woman there was no confusion that Naruto and Pakura would have strong kids, she also hoped that Syo was interested in the young master, of course if her earlier talk with the two girls in the house had been successful she likely was, at least judging by the blush she'd last seen the pink haired girl sporting,

But Patchwork knew already that Yakumo harboured a crush on the blonde who'd saved her from a dark fate, it was even the reason she never showed her real form to him, but Patchwork had told her time and time again that if she wanted to get him she'd have to at least appear her own age,

A light creak from the steps Pakura had vanished up earlier alerted Patchwork, but she smiled seeing the very girl she was thinking about standing there, "I couldn't sleep," Yakumo admitted sheepishly,

She no longer looked like a child, instead she was much taller and thin, bordering on gaunt but not quite there, pale too, not that you could tell due to her constant need of her man-beast form even to move, you'd never know just by looking at her that she was actually older then Naruto by three years, she walked into the room, "I figured I'd explore for a bit,"

Patchwork held up an arm for Yakumo, "Come here," she said with a smile, Yakumo fidgeted nervously,

"N-no thanks," she said, "I'm n-not-"

Patchwork lowered her arm, "You're not ready," she said with a nod, "I'm sorry for offering,"

"Y-you're not mad?" she asked, "You've been wanting to hug me for years now, and I did already give you one so It shouldn't be so hard,"

"Don't think like that, if you don't want a hug then that is that," Patchwork stated, She gestured to the seat across from her, "if you can't sleep, then let's talk,"

It was a few hours later when Naruto was awoken from his sleep and allowed out of the restraints, Patchwork stood up and ''suggested'' he go take a shower before breakfast, she also reminded him that it was merely a ''suggestion'' and ''not'' a command and he was ''free'' to do whatever it was he wanted... as she handed him a clean towel, some clean clothes, and some deodorant,

"Very well," Naruto said accepting the ''offered'' stuff, "I'll go take a shower,"

"Oh are you?" she asked, "well if that's what you want then that's fine," she smiled, "Knock before entering you don't know who could be inside,"

Naruto walked up the stairs and stopped outside the bathroom door, he was about to knock but heard the shower on and heard light whispering on the other side, "So when he knocks we..."

"Shh if he hears us he won't enter,"

Naruto frowned, 'Obviously Patchwork is playing matchmaker again,' he thought, 'this time it seems she has two willing participants' he smiled and continued walking upstairs, 'No doubt that Pakura is also in on it in someway,' thus while not ideal since he only knew where two bathrooms in the entire manor were and that Patchwork likely had disabled all but the one currently in use, he had little choice but to change and apply deodorant, 'I just hope Syo understands what's actually being asked of her,' he thought starting to strip himself off,

A light creak outside the room stopped him, 'I see,' he thought, 'Pakura must've informed the girls that I walked by the door, so now they're waiting for me to strip so they can-'

His door was kicked open, "There you are master," The wet Syo said happily, she ran over to him and picked him up, placing him over her shoulder, "C'mon we're wasting water you know," she grabbed the things patchwork had given him and brought all three to the bathroom,

Happily Syo ripped his clothing off and carried him into the shower where a confused Yakumo waited, when the naked Naruto was placed next to her she meekly said, "I uh didn't expect her to do that," she said, "We we're just going to prank you when you came in, but-,"

"Come on master, big sis," Syo said, "Syo wants to shower," she struck a pose and held it for a few seconds, "Only..." she turned to them both, "How does Syo shower?" she asked,

"Have you never showered before Syo?" Yakumo asked,

Syo shook her head, "No, I was very young when I left my village, Syo never knew how to do anything," she admitted,

'This is clearly a trick,' Naruto thought, when he'd met her Syo was pretty clean, there was no chance she'd never been in a shower in her entire life, but, he sighed, 'I am the head of the Uzumaki family,' he thought grabbing the soap and a sponge, 'If there's even a one percent chance Syo has never showered then I have no choice,' he thought,

Outside Pakura leaned against the door leading into the bathroom, standing by her was Patchwork after a few seconds they shared a nod and entered the bathroom as well,

"Oh my what is everyone doing in here?" Patchwork asked removing her rags,

"One boy showering with four ladies? rather bold of you," Pakura stated tossing off her clothes and entering the shower,

'I knew it,' Naruto thought as he was surrounded on all sides by his three family members, who of course had all forgotten how showers worked,

"There must be something going round if we're all so sick we don't remember how showers work," Patchwork stated as she held Naruto's soap covered hand onto Syo's very dirty chest, "My prince you seem to keep missing this area here," she said despite the fact she'd already made him clean it three times,

"That's not even the dirtiest part Syo has," Pakura grinned, "You'd better hurry and clean her, so you can dirtier her more later," she whispered into his ear,

After a very long shower which each girl had to be washed about three times, and each suddenly remembered how showers worked when he told them to leave so he could wash himself,

Suffice to say it was a rather embarrassing shower for the blonde, more so after he was cleaned three times,

He sat now at his tiny table inside the large dining room, each of the girls had changed now, each of them sported an elegant long skirted Maid dress,

"Why are you all wearing-,"

"So you know to just grab the girl you want to tango with," Pakura answered shamelessly, "We ordered the sexy maid outfits but the place we went to last night got the order mixed up,"

Naruto's face was even redder, "How can you answer so honestly?"

"Comes with nearly dying," Pakura stated, "Where's the point in beating around the bush if we all end up dead fore we so much as kiss?"

Naruto sighed, "And you two?" he asked Yakumo and Syo, Yakumo was sat on Syo's shoulders eating toast from a plate that somehow balanced on Syo's head, Syo herself was eating a large bowl of fruit, Yakumo who was as red faced as he was stopped eating for a second and glanced his way, before she quickly started shoving toast back into her mouth, Syo just continued munching on fruit,

"They were taught last night while you were in the Z.P.R. young master," Patchwork said handing him some toast, "Both have given their consent to be kissed and groped,"

Naruto groaned, he held his face for a second, "There's so much wrong with that sentence I don't even know where to start," he took a deep breath, "Syo, Yakumo," He called drawing the attention of both girls, "You are my family, I request no sexual favours from either of you for your stay here, just being my family is enough,"

"Does that mean Syo and master don't get to make babies anymore?" Syo asked,

"That's ri-," Naruto froze, "Get to?" he asked, "not have to?"

"Mommy explained sex to Syo and big sis," Syo said, "Syo learned that Mommy and Master want a biiiiiig family and she can help with that,"

"Yes but you don't have to-,"

"Syo would help make babies now," Syo stated, "but big sis said she wanted to go first, so as little sis Syo said that she'd wait," Syo smiled happily,

"I-it's true," Yakumo said, "I just n-need a little time and then," she looked determined at Naruto, "W-we'll all h-have lot's of babies," she declared, 'I just got to get over this fear of being touched, then I'll have to work on my body, if we tried to have babies right now he'd probably hurt me,'

Naruto felt a hand on his shoulder, "We didn't say either of them had to," Pakura said, "We just explained to them that if they meet anyone who might like you to bring them back here,"

"Well that will be a while off," Naruto sighed in relief, 'They still have to pass through the academy before they can just be thrown out into the world of nin-' the sound of his door being kicked in made everyone at the table jump,

"Who's ready for hunting?!" A loud woman cried,

Kurenai just rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Anko was that really necessary?"

"Why wouldn't it-" Before she could answer a black shadow chain wrapped around the purple haired woman and dragged her into the manor, Anko watched in shock as A large fox ridding a pink haired girl's shoulder rushing past her as she flew into the dining room,

Quickly her back hit a wall and she had two older woman one armed with twin scimitars and the other with a stack of plates and kitchenware looming over her threateningly,

Naruto teleported outside of the kicked in door armed with his sickle, "Dopple chain," And his shadow slid up his body attaching itself to his sickle and turned into a black chain, which Naruto held and used to swing his weapon menacingly, "You all picked the wrong home to hunt at,"

Syo bit cleanly through the pineapple still in her mouth, "Syo happy to chop you now," she said, baring both her teeth and weapons at the intruders,

Yakumo took her full beast form, her tails swung wildly ready to attack from all sides, "You won't know who hit you, what hit you, or from where," she growled as an illusionary fog started rolling in behind her,

"I take it you've dealt with home invaders before," Kakashi stated sadly,

The voice of his teacher caused Naruto to pause in his assault and take stock of the intruders, Kakashi Hatake gazed at him sadly,

Kurenai Yuhi stared in shock of Yakumo's full beast form,

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata all hid behind the older woman's back,

The two girls gave Naruto a confused glance,

After a while he turned, "False alarm!" he called, "we're not under attack!"

Yakumo rolled her eyes and changed back into her childlike form and the fog vanished, she climbed back onto Syo's shoulders as the pink haired teen picked the remains of the pineapple off the floor, "Five second rule," she said almost shoving it into her mouth before Patchwork took it from her hands,

"It's been seven seconds," She said tossing the fruit into the manor where Pakura caught it with a bin,

"No picking food off the ground Syo," She said, then she picked up Anko and tossed her out, "And no barging in, we could've killed you!"

Anko took a tumble and groaned, "Right, no jokes at this house, got it,"

Naruto sheathed his weapon and bowed, "Apologies, we're not used to friendly people kicking our door in," he said, "Perhaps you'd all like to come join us for breakfast?" he said kindly, despite the fact he didn't really want them inside his home, especially not Kurenai, "Though I'll have to refrain from inviting you inside miss Yuhi, Yakumo is... rather displeased with you,"

"And I hate your guts!" Yakumo spat,

"Eh? big sister hates her," Syo said, "Should Syo hate her too?"

"Keep the nearly naked one out as well," Patchwork stated, "I have to replace a door of our brand new home because of her,"

"Miss Mitarashi as will have to wait outside as well I'm afraid," Naruto said, "It seems her 'funny' joke did some damage to our front door,"

"Actually," Kakashi said, "we're here to get you all-, uh, not Patchwork and Pakura, to join us for a mission,"

"Us all?" Naruto asked, "As in Yakumo and Syo?"

"Yes," Kurenai said, "There's a mission Lord Sarutobi has called us for, "A twin ponged mission interception of A missing Nin, and investigation of a small town's ''monster'' problem," she said,

"We have no choice then," Naruto said, "We'll meet you by the gate," he said starting to walk away,

"Where are you going brat?" Anko asked, "The gate is-,"

"If I am to allow Kurenai Yuhi around Yakumo I'm going to need to pick up a means for her to defend herself," Naruto said,

"Yaay" Yakumo cheered, "I get to atta-,"

"Defend, yourself," Naruto reiterated, "Come Syo, let's get your swords sharpened while we're there,"

"Yes Master," Syo said as she followed the young blonde,

The group watched at the retreating forms of the Uzumaki Family, it was a little while before Anyone spoke, "Okay, maaaaybe kicking in the door was a bad idea," Anko admitted sheepishly,

"Now if only you'd had that thought earlier," Patchwork spoke, "or if you could actually just think at all," she glared at the purple haired woman, "Maybe I wouldn't have to replace a door,"

"Got a problem stitches?" Anko called,

"Several," Patchwork said, "They consist of a shoddy teacher," she said aiming her glare at Kakashi, "a woman who enjoys crippling young children," to Kurenai, "two small weak and pathetic bullies," Sakura and Ino, "and of course a drunken half-dressed man-child who thinks kicking in people's doors shouldn't have consequences," she glared back at Anko, "And unfortunately all are currently outside of my home, and when they leave they'll be around my children,"

Patchwork stalked outside and glared down at them all, "If I hear a single bad thing from any of my children about any of you any of you, I will kill you all, take them and flee this pathetic hellhole of a village," she spoke glowing with rage,

Kurenai opened her mouth, "If-,"

"Who said I was finished?" Patchwork asked, "Because I'm not," she stared down at them all and spat, "If any of my children don't make it back I will burn this shithole to the ground and I will make sure nobody but the rest of my kids will escape!" she warned, "Now get off my son's property,"

Then the undead woman turned and went back to fixing the door,

"Well that happened," Kakashi said,

"Why did he tell her to say that?" Ino asked, "I'm gonna-,"

"Do nothing," Kurenai said, "Act like a Kunoichi and let it go," she said, "he's likely holding back a lot of anger at us all,"

"Actually," Kakashi said, "Patchwork is alive because of Pakura's shadow," he explained, "So it's likely those are Pakura's feelings not Naruto's,"

"He controls them doesn't he?" Sakura asked, "He's the shadow man or whatever,"

"Devil fruits work on specific rules Sakura," Kakashi explained, "Remember when Naruto put the shadow of Lord First into Hiashi Hyuga?"

She nodded, "How could I forget,"

"Well that was exactly how Lord First was known to act," Kakashi said, "Right down to getting extremely depressed at even minor things,"

"So... what does that mean exactly?" Ino asked,

"That Naruto simply shoves a shadow into a body," Kurenai said, "How it acts is how it's user would've acted,"

"Meaning Pakura hates us all in two bodies," Anko grumbled walking off, "Meet you kiddies at the gates,"

OCTOPUS-With Naruto-OCTOPUS

Naruto entered the weapon shop, Syo following his lead while Yakumo still rode her around, doing what anyone who was excited about getting a weapon would,

"What are those spikey chain things with the handles?"

"A flail," Naruto responded,

"I want my weapon to have that as well," she grinned,

"So big sister wants a scythe-katana-crossbow-kanobo-flail?" Syo asked, "Syo confused on how big sis would use that,"

"Yakumo I'll make you a deal," Naruto said walking over to the counter, "Pick a weapon," he said, "Just one, and I'll let you work on a list for the manors armoury,"

Naruto turned to the counter, "Pardon my ward, she's a little excited,"

The girl behind the counter smiled wistfully, "It's fine," she said, "I was just like her when I started learning, only mine was an axe-katana-whip-tonfa," She leaned back in her chair, "I'm not sure if I could use that sort of weapon now though, though..." she let her sentence trail off as she blushed slightly,

"I take it you'd still want to try it?" he offered,

She nodded, "Absolutely," she frowned playfully, "What don't you think I could-" she gave him a once over, "Ruffles,"

Naruto chuckled, "I'll bet you'll wield such a weapon like none before you could,"

She smiled, "Thanks blondie, for that you get to take a single weapon for free,"

Naruto smiled, "Ha ha, very funny Tenten," he said,

She shook her head, "I'm serious Naruto," She gestured around the weapon shop, "You want to arm your home right? how many weapons is that?"

Naruto gazed around the shop, the many different weapons would all look at home in his manor's armoury,

"A lot, right?" Tenten asked, "Well lucky for you we give deals for weapons brought in bulk, if you're buying over fifty things we cut the price down a bit, and we give you one item for free," she leaned onto the counter, "Usually the cheapest," she winked at him, "But I'll let you take one thing for free now, and pay for the rest later,"

Naruto bowed, "That's very kind of you," he said, "but won't you get in trouble if I were to die before paying?"

Tenten gave him a suspicions expression, "You got a mission suddenly?" To which Naruto nodded, "I see," she said, she leaned down onto the counter, "You got a phone?" she asked as she started writing something,

"I-," Naruto was cut off by Syo handing him a... pink glitter covered phone, "You can borrow mine," she said,

"Ah, thank you Syo," he said taking the phone, "also that reminds m-,"

Naruto stopped when the girl handed him a number while her cheeks were red, "That's my number," she said, "I uh, don't just give it out to anyone you know,"

"Th-thank you," Naruto said, flustered, 'I-I've never gotten a girl's number before, wait, is this number for me or for business?' he wondered,

"I will expect a call later today," she said, then she realised Syo was standing next to Naruto, Tenten's face went entirely red, "Oh, uh hi? what can I do for you?"

Syo laid her cleaver swords on the desk, "Can you fix these please?"

"Yeah sure I-," she froze on the look of the cleaver swords, Naruto decided to take a look at the blades Syo was never without as well, they were mostly dull and cracked in certain places, the handles showed years of wear and tear,

Tenten took one look at them and asked, "The fuck do you use these things for?"

"Syo uses them for bandits," she smiled, her tongue hanging out of her mouth,

Only now did Naruto realise Syo's shoulders were now free of Yakumo, he didn't have time to even start looking before she placed a two handed maul on the counter, "I want this one," she grinned,

Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose, "You really had to chose the biggest thing in here didn't you?"

She nodded gleefully,

"Oh that thing?" Tenten said, "we're working on a if you want it, it's yours kinda thing with it,"

Naruto did a double take, "I'm sorry I must have misheard you," he said,

Tenten smiled, "That is something my dad, who's the guy who runs this place, found a month ago in the forest, no wielder so he brought it here for repairs and spread the word looking for it's master," she said, "He says they probably died or got a new hammer so anyone who wants it is free to take it," she explained, "He gets sick seeing that beautiful thing just gathering dust in the window," she said, "Like it's been-,"

"Forgotten" Yakumo spoke, her voice was cold, yet her eyes when she gazed at the weapon were, understanding, "Yeah, I'll take the hammer," She dug around in her pocket despite Tenten's insistence that the hammer was free,

But she stopped when Yakumo drew 150'000 ryo and left it on the table, "I'm paying for it," she said taking the hammer with both hands, "because it's not worthless," and then she turned and exited the shop,

Naruto was about to turn and express he needed to leave but "I-," was the most he could get out before Tenten spoke,

She said, "You should go, I'll try what I can with the swords but they'll likely need re-forging," she took the cash and added it too the register,

Naruto thanked her, pocketed the number and left the shop, Yakumo wasn't far, she was mumbling to the hammer,

Syo started walking over to comfort her sister but Naruto stopped her, "Let me Syo,"

She gave him a sad look, but nodded, "Okay," she said and backed away a bit,

Naruto approached Yakumo, her mumbles where exactly what he'd expected,

"It's okay," she whispered, "You are wanted, and loved, and appreciated," she said, "I'll never abandon you," she said hugging it the maul,

Naruto gently hugged her, "Easy Yakumo," he said,

But he forgot, she didn't like being touched,

A flash of red struck his vision and he fell down, blood dripping from her claws,

She stared in horror at the fresh blood dripping from his cheek, "No," she gasped, and tried to run away,

Before Naruto's shadow slid under her and held up a hand stopping her, "Yakumo look," He said,

The beast girl turned and watched as he rubbed his cut cheek with a glowing green palm, he removed it and smiled, "See?" he asked gently, his scars already gone, "I'm sorry for startling you," he said, and with a warm smile, asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, "I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," he said, "And on this trip stay by me or Syo, we won't let Kurenai even see you if you don't want her to," he was about to put a hand on her shoulder, but stopped, "Yakumo, we are your family, and we will never abandon y-," Yakumo leaned into him, he made no attempt to hold her at all, too scared he'd freak her out again, "I'll ride on the front, ride next to me," he said,

She nodded, "Okay," she wiped her eyes clear, "I'm ready,"

He nodded, "If you're sure," she nodded and he turned, "Syo we're ready now,"

The pink haired girl nodded, "Okay,"

As they got to the gates they found their group waiting for them, "Pardon the wait," Naruto said, "We had to deal with a. . . situation," he explained walking past the group and readying his carriage, Yakumo stayed by him as he did, with Syo not too far from the two of them,

Next was obviously the shadow horse to pull the cart, though Naruto did wonder if he shouldn't acquire a few horses of his own, he put it off as a question for later and turned to his group, "The carriage is ready," he stated, "Find your seats and we'll be leaving shortly,"

He helped Yakumo into her seat and got on the front with her, "Just tell me when you're all ready,"

"You don't even know where we're going," Sakura argued,

"Then someone who does know should join me," Naruto stated, he moved closer to Yakumo's side leaving some room for a navigator to sit next to him,

After much deliberation the seats were assigned, Kurenai, Kakashi, Ino, Hinata, Sakura, and Syo, would sit on the inside, and Anko would join the two driving,

As soon as they were all seated Naruto snapped the reigns "Yah!" he cried and his shadow pulled the carriage forward.

OCTOPUS-The End-OCTOPUS

Not as big as other chapters but I figured we could just cut out the travel and start with the meat in the next chapter,

Review corner:VVV

.3950: Yeah I'll fix the misspellings (or at least the ones I noticed after a re-read) in the first and second chapters after I post this chapter, might take a bit, Also glad you're enjoying this story more then Grinning Ninja, I'm enjoying writing it more too,

NarutoManiac2400: I have big plans for this story, real big plans, and I've decided to hurry them along a little faster in the next chapter, but you'll see what I mean way after the next chapter, but trust me, big steps are going to be taken.

Arinst2305: you forgot to put Thank you before that, really makes it a terrible reference, unless you were asking for the next chapter, at which point, geez man it's not like I'm an idiot who somehow allowed himself to start like eight stories at the same time and expects them all to be updated semi-consistently and therefore some stories just happen not to get updated for a while,

Like I'm at least partially sorry.


The stories profile picture was drawn by my cousin,


Hey guys, I have a P-A-T-R-E-O-N, it's pat-r-eon/OurheroFanWriterHaverOfDumbIdeas Shhhh don't tell the fan fic site, they don't like authors trying to make money, (Tiers are 2 pound to feed my horrible Tea addiction, and 3 pound to get a once shot story written, It's all I had to offer feel free to judge me extremely harshly) and I've decided just to dump the chapters of stories I never posted there, and I've even put spicier stories on there too, but since fetishes are like dinosaurs and you'll never accept that my favourite kicks the crap outta yours I've slapped them behind a paywall,

See? you see what not loving exactly what I like gets you? now you have to pay,