Desperation 1.1

It wouldn't be a lie to say that I dislike most people. Most of them are lying, backstabbing, hateful things. They cheat, they hurt, and they laugh without so much as a thought. Everyone lives through their lives doing nothing but lying to themselves and hurting others.

And that is why I call myself a proud loner.

I used to think differently, at least a little, but every time I gave anyone a chance all they'd do is throw it back in my face. I know now that the best thing to do is just keep quiet and let everyone else just keep to themselves.

Youth? Youth is a lie, one perpetuated by nothing other than evil liars and fakes.

They go around every day with happy smiles on their faces as their "friends" treat them like trash, only wanting more and more. They call the lies, secrets, and hate just the confused mistakes of their "Youth."

They think themselves better than others while making the same mistakes. Each one flinging mud like a wild pig but demanding they be called a swan. Nothing that they say is ever true, nor will it ever be. It's all a lie.

It's just a sham, a fraud, a deception, a distortion of our own bleak reality.

I looked back down at the last line hastily written in my notebook. With a small sigh, I thought, I don't think that's what Hiratsuka-sensei meant.

After throwing me in the meat grinder with that woman, Hiratsuka-sensei had asked me- No, demanded that I rewrite my essay. She tore up the old one right in front of me before giving me an entire new prompt, on what I think of people of all things. It just wasn't fair!

I still don't really understand what was wrong with the first one. She refused to say anything other than, "If you can't see what's wrong with your essay Hachiman, then you need more help than I thought."

It still wasn't as bad as when I accidentally made fun of her age. If she didn't like my humor, why couldn't she just say so? With a grimace, I thought, And what's a fist to the gut supposed to teach me anyway?

I sighed again before looking over at my phone. The green rectangle sat there menacingly. I knew that Hiratsuka knew my number. She practically stole the thing when she made me join the Service club. The madwoman said she'd need it to hunt me down if I ever didn't show.

Pushing my notebook to a lonely corner of my desk, I stood up. It was starting to get a bit late, and Hiratsuka didn't need my new essay until the end of the week. I still had a couple of days until Saturday, so it could wait.

Pulling out my pride and joy, a PlayStation Vita, I laid down on my bed.

If I just waited a bit, I could leave the Service Club. All I'd have to do is slowly stop showing up. With some time, Hiratsuka and that woman would just forget about me. I mean, it's not like either of them really want me there in the first place. The gorilla just wanted to get back at me for calling her old.

After about an hour, I turned off Vita-chan for good. As I settled down for bed, the last thought I had was It's only a matter of time before I get out of that stupid club.

I didn't know how right I was.

-|-]=[-|-

Mercer Frey was a busy man.

He always had something that needed to be done. A large portion of his work was above ground. He'd single-handedly cornered the real-estate market within Riften hold. It took him years to get to that point, but he'd done it. His more below-board work was where it all started.

Mercer had grown up on the streets, along with the rest of the orphan rats. Those years were harsh. He was a gangling little thing back then, all stick and bone. There wasn't ever enough food to go around. That was made more readily apparent when you didn't have any septims to buy any. Eventually, though, Mercer had clawed his way to the top. It had been trying at times, outright infuriating at others.

A particular man had made sure of that.

Mercer hummed. He supposed that it didn't matter anymore. The old Guild Master was dead, very much so. After all, Mercer had done it himself. A dwarven blade through the neck and stomach tended to end a person's life pretty quickly. Gallus had never seen it coming. Mercer didn't feel much for it. The only thing he had left of the old sordid affair was the cold feeling of success. He'd done what he always wanted to do, accomplished what he set out to.

Mercer had it all.

Gold. Power. Women if he desired them. The man sighed. It still felt like there was something missing, like there was some spark that had disappeared. Mercer supposed he might just be getting old. He was nearing thirty-six now. He didn't have that same drive from when he was younger; he'd achieved his ambition. There just wasn't much challenge to it anymore.

He almost wanted to just run away from it all. Take his gold and go live on an island somewhere.

Mercer had broken his oath to Nocturnal, stolen the Skeleton key, murdered Gallus, pinned it on Karliah, and he'd gotten away with it all. Again, a sigh left his mouth. It was all so boring nowadays. He did end up filthy stinking rich though, so there were a few silver linings.

One day, Mercer found himself walking through the market stall in Riften. It was something the man was used to doing. Hell, he'd done it hundreds of times before. The only thing different about it was the ratty boy sitting on an old bucket on the far side of the market. Mercer didn't think much of him as he walked by, but when the young man's voice called out to him, he stopped. A frown came to the man's lips. He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. Mercer knew where his line of thinking led. The little brats on the streets wouldn't leave him alone for days if one of them saw him. A hand came down to his coin purse.

Mercer didn't know why he did it.

It could've been his boredom, a flight of fancy. Hell, it might've even been pity, but when he saw the starving kid on the street, he couldn't watch anymore. The young man was all skin and bones. His black hair was matted down to his skull. It looked oily, like he hadn't bathed in weeks. His eyes were what stood out the most. They were like that of a corpse, gloomy and gray. The beady little things seemed to follow him as he walked. Mercer couldn't tell what was in them. When he had flipped the child a single gold coin, he had jumped forward. The man was surprised that the kid had that much energy left in him.

Shaky words of thanks had left the kid's mouth. Mercer waved them off. He hadn't done it for thanks.

When Mercer saw him next, it came with surprise. After all, grabbing the youth's hand from his pocket wasn't to be expected. The older man was angry then. His mouth opened with an irritable tongue-lashing. The youth had taken it pretty well. When Mercer tore into him over his poor technique, confusion slammed into the youth's features. Mercer had laughed then.

The confusion quickly fluttered between intrigue and excitement when Mercer gave him an offer.

The older man had given him a job. It wasn't often that Mercer tried to recruit for the guild. In fact, he'd never recruited anyone to it, not personally anyway. The situation was too perfect. He'd seen it hundreds of times before. Some poor street rat gets in over their head, and then, they end up joining Thieves Guild with the promise of food and gold. He had a job that needed to be done, and if the kid failed that would be on him. It's not like the Black-Briars would be able to trace it back to Mercer anyway. The Guild Master knew how to make sure of that.

It didn't really matter, not to Mercer anyway. He'd given the offer. It was sink or swim. Looking at the kid, Mercer would've bet on his failure. It came as a surprise when he returned one day later, carrying the item he'd sent him to retrieve. Mercer had laughed when the boy handed it to him, a small smile on his face. It wasn't every day someone broke into Black-Briar Manor and lived to tell the tale. The hefty pouch of gold he put in the beggar's hand made his eyes bulge. The letter he retrieved made Mercer's mirth turn to greed. He'd been right after all. Maven was always right bitch.

"What did you say your name was again child?"

The youth frowned, his gray eyes drifting up to Mercer's own. Scratchily, a voice replied, "Hachiman."

The name was odd. Mercer pursed his lips. It almost sounded Elvish. It could've been a Breton's as well. Mercer couldn't quite tell what lineage the youth held. He was a man, if he held any Elven blood wasn't too important. Wherever he was from, it definitely wasn't Skyrim. His thin body, black hair, and slanted eyes made for an interesting combination. Mercer knew one thing for sure, the kid wasn't a Nord.

None of that mattered though. Mercer smiled. It was a cruel thing, his lips curling upward. They held a promise of pain. Hachiman simply stared, not picking up on the man's internal thoughts. He finally had what he needed to get back at the bitch. In Mercer Frey's hand was a correspondence with the Dark Brotherhood.

"Welcome to the Thieves Guild."

-|-]=[-|-

I never thought being a professional thief would be in my future. It definitely wasn't my first career choice.

I never thought that I would wake in a fantasy town floating in a canal either. Understandably, I had freaked out. A confused scream echoed out of my mouth as something large and scaly slipped between my feet. Getting out of the water wasn't that hard. I knew how to swim, and despite the flow of water, I ended up pulling myself out. I screamed even louder at the red-eyed lizard man who spotted me coming out of the canal.

When I finally calmed myself, the lizard was quick to introduce himself. His name was Madesi.

His pity was the only reason I was able to eat that week. It was something to do with orphans and his "Saphir." I didn't have any idea what he was talking about. I was more shell-shocked than anything. At the time, I didn't even notice that we weren't speaking Japanese, and I could somehow understand it. When he left me with a small bundle of copper and silver coins, I didn't question it.

For a good while after that, I just wandered around town. My eyes bulged at the sight.

The city, I'd learn later it was called Riften, was beautiful. It was bright and filled with all manner of greens, purples, reds, and blues. It had large trees and buildings dotting all over. I even picked out what looked almost like a mid-evil castle in one corner of the place. It was huge, with cut stone bricks larger than my torso. Small white lines of smoke came from its top. I presumed it to be from fires inside. It was like nothing I had ever seen. I stared in shock at the site of the keep for a while. It didn't quite have the square shape I'd come to expect from a fantasy-like castle, but it was more than impressive by itself.

The city itself was even larger. I could get lost in the small alleyways and buildings dotting the landscape around me for hours. The good thing was that there were a good amount of landmarks to keep me grounded. Almost everything in Riften connected back up to either the docks or the market at its center. Nobody seemed to really pay me much attention as I walked the streets. Even here, it seemed that people were still people. I was too awed by the sights of the city to truly care.

Problems came to me pretty quickly after that.

I still had thoughts of what happened to me running through my head as my stomach growled. The only thing I remembered was playing some video games last night and going to bed. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I couldn't remember anything that happened which would lead me to waking up in a fantasy world. Zaimokuza would be jealous. He'd kill for something like this to happen to him. It just left me feeling paranoid, and a bit sick to my stomach. At least it wasn't like one of his fantasies. The girls and other people around here seemed to be fully dressed at least. That and the other races here were just plain odd, not lewd.

It was easy for me to pick them out in the crowds.

Everyone was somewhat humanoid at least. They had two legs, two arms, a torso, and a head. Beyond that though, anything was fair game. The first thing I noticed that was a good portion of the normal humans here were blond-haired blue-eyed bodybuilders. My eyes felt like they were going to bulge out of my skull when I saw the first one. He'd towered over me by at least a foot and a half while carrying a sword that was longer than I was tall. I was glad he didn't notice my staring. I didn't want to find out if the other people here were as nice as the lizard man I met a few hours ago.

I saw an elf after that.

It wasn't anything like one of the elves I knew of though. I could tell it was a woman, but other than that, its features were plain weird. Its body was long and lanky, looking to be even taller than the man from before. It walked around with a strange sort of grace. Something about looking at her sent alarms off in my head. That was especially true as I gazed at her face. Her visage was just enough to look vaguely human while being stretched out enough to make me uncomfortable. Her face was uncanny. Her golden eyes seemed to shift and summer in the low sun, while her hooked nose and pointed ears felt just a bit too long. The woman's cheekbones jutted up at a pointed angle. I tried not to judge by looks whenever I met someone, but when I met the elf's eyes and she smiled at me, I ran.

I felt bad after that. I knew that she probably didn't mean me any harm, but just looking at her set something off in my brain. I just chalked it up to being unfamiliar with all the new things and being nervous. The sun had started to set soon after. By that point, hunger had truly started to set in. I'd stalked around town for a bit longer before running into what I thought of as a classic high fantasy tavern. The place was also run by more of the lizard people I had seen previously. I learned they were called argonians that night. Before I knew it, I had spent my way into a good meal and a warm bed.

The next morning didn't go so well. The small pouch Madesi had given me was noticeably lighter. It only took two more nights before the female argonian running the Inn had kicked me back to the streets. That night had been cold and hungry. The weeks that passed after that quickly changed my perspective on this new world.

It sucked. It truly and utterly sucked. Somehow, someway, I had found myself in a place that was worse than Yukinoshita's club room. I just wanted to go home. I missed my bed. I missed Vita-chan. I missed Komachi. A loud rolling rumble came from my gut. I frowned. Hunger was a constant, dangerous enemy

The first time I stole, it was by accident.

It was a dagger. I thought he'd just left it behind, threw it away even. I'd seen some of the other people here do it before. The man looked like a traveler anyway; it's not like he would come back looking for it. The little thing was about a foot long. Its blade was made of a clear sharpened metal. The handle was made of a straight hunk of wood. Little straps of leather coated it. It looked well used, extremely so. It'd gotten it off a man in the market. He set it on a small barrel and simply left. The weapon felt odd in my hands. That didn't matter though.

When I brought it to the other side of the market and sold it, I smiled. It was like the weight of a mountain came off of my back. The few clinking coins in my pocket brought safety, security. I'd finally be rid of this burning hole in my gut. The brown piece of bread I bought was sweet.

I only realized what had really happened when I returned. He hadn't just left it behind. I was hoping for someone to take pity and give me a few more coins. When I came back, a fight had broken out. The man I took the dagger from, he was beating some poor merchant senseless. The man was a nord, the same traveler from before. The merchant was just one of many, but his small stature stood out from the rest. They were both yelling. I could see the smaller of the two break off before waving about his hands. Something in the air seemed to change. Lightening cracked. I flinched bringing my head toward the sky.

Thunder? I thought.

It didn't make sense. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky. Nothing met my eyes but a flowing blue. I pursed my lips, bringing my head back down. Lightening struck again. This time I saw it. A white arc of electricity jumped from the smaller man's hands, hitting the nord in the chest. The chainmail he was wearing turned an iridescent red, quickly melting.

I gaped as it revealed what was underneath. Nothing. There was nothing. A hole went in from one side out to the other. For a moment, the nord stood still, grasping at his chest. Then, he fell to the ground. His body twitched one final time before going still. People were gathering now, all coming to see what the commotion was. I spotted the helmeted men that made up the local guard with ease. I felt sick. The leftover bit of bread in my pocket felt heavy. Trying to keep down my stomach, I fled.

That day, I learned that magic existed. It was also the first time I'd ever saw someone die.

-|-]=[-|-

Breaking into the house was easier than I thought.

Actually, I don't think I could call it a house. It was more akin to a mansion. It had two stories and a basement. From the outside, you could see it towering over the rest of the buildings around it. The wood it was made of was fresh and bright. The building actually had a backyard with a fence. The fence's wrought-iron spikes were painted black. The place stood out like a sore thumb when compared to the rest of Riften.

Looking at the door, I could see something carved on its frame.

It was a small symbol. A diamond with two circles crossing over it. I lightly rubbed my fingers on it. The gnarled wood was damp. I had no idea what it meant. It looked like someone had cut the thing in with a small knife whenever it was built. The mark, whatever it was, was old.

A light rain had settled in over the city. It brought down the usual stench coming from the canal to bearable levels. My nose rose up as I stood there. The rain added a constant noise to the night. An alley cat hissed in the distance. I let out a small sigh, taking a step back.

Was I really going to do this?

The thought came to me with no small amount of guilt. The more rational part of my brain was screaming at me that doing this was wrong. I might've been isekai'd into a fantasy world, but that didn't change anything. Breaking and entering was a crime. Stealing was a crime. It didn't matter that I was only going after a letter. I was about to commit burglary.

I looked down at my hands.

My fingers were long and bony, more than they have ever been in my entire life. The small amount of muscle and fat I had was wasting away. I could still feel that gnawing presence in my gut. I closed my hand, giving my fingers a light squeeze.

I had to do something. I had to get food somehow, and if I wanted to do that, I needed money. Copper, silver, gold, it didn't matter. I needed septims to survive. It was either that or I'd starve. There was nowhere here that would hire a teenager like me. The townsfolk really didn't have much pity for me either. Begging had been hard, but it hurt even worse when no one would bat an eye as they passed me by. I didn't know if it was because of my looks or something else, but they all just seemed to ignore me. They treated me like a dirty street rat. I guess at this point I was one.

The only people that seemed to give any of us beggars any attention were those from out of town.

The only other way I had made any money was by running a few errands from Madesi. The argonian had remembered me after my impromptu swim. Sometimes, he offered to have me carry some of his jewelry and deliver it around town. It wasn't enough. Nothing was ever enough.

My stomach growled. My eyes narrowed. Quietly, I pulled open the door.

It had been left unlocked, just like Mercer said. I moved the door slowly. I didn't need to open it all the way. It wouldn't do for me to get caught before I'd even gotten inside. Hopefully, none of the town guard would be patrolling around the back of the manor. I didn't see any of their telltale torch lights, so I assumed that I was fine.

The sweet scent of honey mixed with ash hit my nose as I stepped inside.

I found myself in a small foyer. In a way, the place looked homely. I could see shelves, racks, and chairs lining up the sides of the room. Clothes, silverware, and food were abundant. My mouth watered at the site of a cheese wheel on one of the shelves. It was almost the size of my head. A hand came up to my mouth, wiping away a bit of drool.

"I can't get distracted," I whispered. My heart was thumping in my chest. Mercer told me I would have a small window to get in and out. The lady who owned the place was supposed to be at a meeting. How Mercer knew this, I had no clue.

I walked forward, leaving the foyer behind. It amazed me at all this place had. It was different than what I would think of, but the building screamed wealth all the same. Large furs seemingly coated the walls of their dining hall. There were weapons and armor too. It took me a few more seconds before I found what I was looking for.

"He said her room was on the second floor."

I rushed up the stairs, doing my best to keep my eyes and ears open. My footsteps were light. Whether that was from any semblance of skill or simply because of how little I weighed was debatable. Coming to the second floor, it opened up into a hallway.

I looked left and right.

The hallway was filled with a mess of doors. They were all made of the same dark-colored wood. Candles sitting on silver let out small amounts of light into the hall, just enough so I could see. Little tables and drawers were dotting the hallway, with more extravagant furs and weaponry on the walls. I was looking for the master bedroom. It would be the largest room in the house, so it made sense when I prowled over to the only set of double doors in the hall.

Jackpot.

It looked like I found the right room. The doors swung open, creaking. I winced at the loud noise of metal on metal. Quietly, I looked over my shoulder. No one was here. I was just being paranoid.

The room itself was almost as large as the dining room.

I could see what looked like a large desk, a couple of tables, and four separate dressers each one taller than me. There was even a large chest straight out of a fantasy nerd's wet dreams along with a couple of bookshelves in the corner. Sitting in the room's direct center was the biggest bed I have ever seen. The wood and cloth it was made out of made the furniture look like a piece of art. Small intricate dragons and other mythological creatures were carved into its sides. The carvings brought a question to my mind. I raised an eyebrow and walked closer. A three-eyed beast stared back at me. Its mouth was filled with pointed teeth, each one jutting out toward me in a snarl.

There was no way of telling if any of the beasts here were actually real. I have to stay focused.

Moving as quickly as I could, I started to search around the room. Mercer had said I was looking for a letter. It would have a symbol of a large black hand on it. The lady who owned this place would have it hidden away, probably in a lockbox or drawer somewhere. If I could get it to him without getting caught, he offered me two hundred gold. That was more than I had ever seen. The only time I'd even held a gold coin was when he first threw me one when we met in the market.

My eyes narrowed in on a small piece of metal. There was a small lockbox on the desk, but I had no idea how you'd pick a lock. It looked like the little thing was too small anyways. I'd barely be able to fit my closed fist inside it if I could open it up. Although, I guess she could've just folded the letter up. I frowned. I had to keep looking. If I couldn't find it anywhere else, I'd just take the whole box with me.

It took me about twenty minutes before I started getting worried.

I had gone through almost the whole room in my quest for the letter. The only thing I found was a bunch of sales reports for a meadery. There were also a bunch of small letters from the lady's son and other business partners. A bunch of names stuck out to me as I read, but I couldn't make sense of them. Elgrim. Maul. Brynjolf. Grelka. Haelga. Elenwen. Another woman named Laila. The only name I knew was Grelka. She ran one of the bigger stalls at the market. It seemed like this Maven was a busy woman.

"Come on," I growled. I was starting to get frustrated. I couldn't count how many drawers and papers I'd been through. I didn't know how much longer I had before Maven would return.

My heart stopped as footsteps started to overpower the low pattering of rain. My eyes shot around the room. Whoever it was, they were coming upstairs. I heard a woman laugh. The noise came out low and husky, like an old wine. My face paled. I darted to one of the dressers. It was locked. I cursed. Turning to the bed, I ran.

I easily slid beneath the bed. It had a surprising amount of room underneath. I could hear the footsteps get louder before a voice called out. This one was male. I held my breath as the noise stopped, just outside the master bedroom's door.

"Maven, you're drunk."

Another laugh rang out. It lasted longer than the first time. I could hear some soft shuffling and mutters before the door opened. From underneath the bed, I could see two pairs of feet enter into the candlelight.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

The curse kept repeating over and over again in my head. The two people in the room with me stood still. There didn't look to be any room between them. I could see one of them stumble as a woman's voice let out a hiccup. I let out a slow breath of air as they approached closer to the bed.

"Does it matter?" the woman's voice sounded annoyed. I could hear something off with it. It got worse as she demanded, "Get over here."

A loud thump came from above me as the bed shook. I stayed still, trying not to make any noise. The male asked, "Was that really necessary?"

The reply came quick. Taking a step closer to the bed, Maven replied, "No, but it was fun."

They're not going to...

My unspoken question was answered as Maven's clothes started falling to the floor. I didn't make a sound as the furs turned to thins silks, all of them being discarded like trash. Two bare feet stalked toward the bed. I couldn't believe this was happening. I refused to believe it. My thoughts didn't matter as Maven quite literally leaped onto the bed. For a moment, the furniture shook. I prayed to anyone that would listen that, they wouldn't check under the bed.

"Do you like what you see?" Maven purred.

It was starting to make me sick to my stomach, being here. I felt like some kind of pervert. It got even worse when I heard the woman gasp, and the bed started to shake. All of a sudden, it stopped. I let out a low breath of relief.

"Maven, you never answered me before." the male started. I still had no idea who he was. Maven's husband I assumed or maybe her lover? It didn't really matter. I couldn't care less about her love life. I just wanted to get that damn letter and get out of underneath this bed. He continued, "Your contacts finally answered, did they not?"

Maven let out a low hum. For a moment, they were both silent. I simply listened. It wasn't like I could do anything else. I heard the bed shift as Maven answered, "Yes, they did. I received the response a few days ago."

Her words were short and clipped. Even I could tell that whatever the man had just asked about, she didn't want to speak of. I continued to stay silent, unmoving in the dark beneath their bed. A thought came to me.

Maybe she's talking about the letter?

"Beneath the drawer?"

Maven let out a confirming hum. She paused the noise, seemingly waiting on the man to respond. When he didn't Maven said, "I have it along with the rest, you can read it later."

My thoughts trailed off as Maven explained, "They were quite the pain to get a hold of." The bed above me creaked as one of the two moved. I heard Maven laugh for a third and final time. The man didn't respond.

"Yes. They were slippery, like honey. You like that though, don't you? Slippery things..." I heard a meaty thump from above me. My face felt like it was on fire. Maven growled. The man let out a low grunt. There was another thump. Then, another. The noise didn't stop. I wanted to cry. No more words were spoken that night.

What did I do to deserve this?

AN: Howdy folks!

This is a little side project I've had simmering for a while. I decided to just go ahead and edit it and post it. I've always liked Hachiman as a character, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I don't got much to really say as I think this chapter sells the story well enough on its own. The only thing I will clarify is that this story takes place a good amount of time before the events of The Elder Scrolls V. As in, it takes place years before it.

Please tell me what you thought down below. Also, if you noticed any errors or typos in the writing please point them out.

Well then, until the next chapter...

~ciao