A/N: Getting close to the end, folks.


Disclaimer: I own only Jocelyn Harford, nothing of Stranger Things. All rights go to the Duffer Brothers, and Netflix.


With Or Without You

Chapter 12

Running Up that Hill


[Jocelyn]

Jocelyn screams as I grab her by the hair, and throw her from me from him like a rag doll. She hits a nearby sign, and lands on the ground, gasping in pain, blood coming from out of her nose.

"Good..." Vecna hisses. "Do it, Eddie. Kill them all."

A coldness washes over me as the darkness rises, my eyes growing black. Without a second thought, I begin to rise to my feet, my eyes filled with a cold hatred. I grip the spear in my hand, tightening my fingers as I turn to face Jocelyn.

Kill.

The word forms in my mind, as I feel Vecna corrupt and twist me. Jocelyn deserves none of this… and yet…

She's struggling to sit up, crying in pain. "Eddie... Eddie please..." She whimpers, tears pouring down her face.

An inhuman growl escapes my lips as I come at her again. She shuts her eyes, and I hear her begin to pray. Funny, I never knew she believed in God.

Things change, I guess.

Vecna's voice begins to echo inside of my head as my body is filled with a primal, unbridled rage, all of my thoughts spinning in the blender that is my mind. My jaw clenches, and my face grows cold as I move towards Jocelyn with the spear still in hand. My eyes are filled with shadow, my body humming with immense strength that I have no control over. I stand above Jocelyn, as Vecna's words echo in my head.

"Do it." Vecna whispers.

Jocelyn opens her eyes, staring up at me. "Eddie, please, this isn't you. You aren't a monster. PLEASE!" Tears stream down her face, leaving tracks in the dust and blood accumulated there. "I.. I love you. Please."

I raise the spear as I see Jocelyn look up at me. She speaks of love in her words, and the rage inside me grows. It grows in such intensity that it boils over.

"Do. It!" Vecna roars, his voice like nails on a chalkboard in my frontal lobe.

Vecna's voice resounds in my head. My eyes grow darker, and my vision begins to twist and distort, my grip growing tighter on the spear, as Jocelyn begs for her life…

BAM!

I'm thrown sideways as Steve slams into me, knocking me over. Nancy and Robin rush to Jocelyn's side and pull her up and away from Steve and I.

"Steve! Don't hurt him! He doesn't know what he's doing!" I'm distantly aware of Jocelyn's fearful screaming over the sounds of Steve and I fighting.

"Okay, but HE'S TRYING TO HURT ME!" Steve yells back, dodging as I take a swipe at him. "I told you he was with Vecna!"

"He's not!" Jocelyn yells. "Vecna's hypnotizing him or something! We need to snap him out of it!"

The impact of Steve tackling momentarily stuns me, but not for long. I get to my feet, and glare at Steve.

"Get back," I say in a harsh whisper, grabbing the spear in my hand again; it shakes in my hand, as I slowly raise it above my head.

"Eddie!"Jocelyn screams again. "STOP! You're stronger than he is! FIGHT THIS!"

I don't say anything, instead, I grab Steve, throwing him directly at the girls. They all smash into the ground in a heap. I see Jocelyn's head crack against the concrete, and she momentarily loses consciousness.

I approach them slowly, the spear still raised. Then, following the orders of Vecna, I bring the spear down towards Jocelyn - aiming to impale her.

"I'm sorry."

My voice is a cold, harsh whisper. There is no Eddie left. Only the darkness within.

Suddenly, I'm lifted up, and thrown into the side of a nearby building. My head slams into a wall, and I feel darkness starting to claim me. I look around, dazed, and see Eleven staring at me. She must've thrown me with her powers. She turns back to Vecna, who looks livid at his puppet being knocked out. Before I start to black out, I can see Jocelyn slowly crawling towards me, her face contorted in pain and fear.

"Eddie..." she whispers, reaching out to me. "Eddie, wake up." She begs,

I don't move for a second as my eyes slowly begin to open.

"Joce…?" I say in disbelief as I look around, seeing the chaos around me.

I begin to come to my senses as I see Vecna staring at me. He laughs, sending visions and images of the past and future through my mind - but I shake my head, trying to shake out his influence. I feel weak, but I must fight.

"No…" I say quietly, as my eyes begin to glow black again. I can feel him trying to enter my mind again…

"No!" Joce shrieks. She looks around frantically. I see her eyes come to rest on the spear on the ground beside me. Her eyes snap to me for a moment, before whispers, "I love you." I watch as she grabs the spear, and charges Vecna, a scream of rage ripping itself from her lungs. She takes aim, and throws it right at Vecna.

It misses. But, it's enough to get him to take his eyes off me, temporarily releasing me from Vecna's grasp.

I watch as Vecna laughs at Joce and her attempted strike, before a feeling of disgust arises in me at what I've done. Joce's "I love you" rings in my head, and something stirs within me. The coldness begins to fade, and a sense of warmth and compassion begins to grow. I can feel Vecna begin to lose his grip on me, as Joce's words begin to shine like a ray of hope.

"Eleven!" Joce is screaming, while Vecna is distracted. "NOW!" The girl nods, and begins hurtling more rocks and pieces of debris at Vecna. Vecna roars in anger, and turns his gaze on Joce now. One of his tendrils takes aim at her, and begins to speed through the air in her direction. Too late, I know there is nothing I can do. I open my mouth in a silent scream.

The tendril stabs Joce straight through her chest.

"JOCELYN!" I scream, my voice shredded with agony and terror.

She's flung backwards by the tendril, landing hard on her back beside me. There is blood everywhere, coming from the now gaping wound in her chest. I can't breathe, I can only stare in horror, as a trickle of blood starts dribbling down her lip. She reaches weakly for me. "Eddie..." She gasps.

I immediately fall to my knees beside her, tears blurring my vision. I reach my hand towards her. It's shaking like a leaf in the wind.

Joce…

"I'm so sorry." My voice breaks horribly, as tears stream down my face. "Oh God, Joce, please…"

Her hand grabs blindly for me. "E-Eddie." She chokes out. "Eddie.. Please, you have to listen to me. You need to drink my blood. Right now. Get your strength back and kill that son of a bitch."

I stare at her, my eyes wide. Not now. Not… no. "Your blood?" I whisper out. "Your blood can-" Her words ring in my head like a deafening, tolling bell.

"Eddie... please, you're running out of time." She gasps again, as more blood continues to seep from her wounds. "Take.. take my hand. P-please." She raises her hand – its white and shaking as badly as mine are.

I feel hot tears streaking down my face. I can't look at her. "No. I'm going to get you help." I start to get up, but she manages to grab my sleeve.

"Eddie… I'm dying. Please… take my hand." She begs again, her voice choked with pain and anguish.

My lower lip trembles, as I quickly take Joce's hand and lean over her to hold her. "Joce, I-I… I-I don't know… I'll- how…?" My words are a jumbled mess of confusion and regret.

Vecna laughs to himself as he watches on, his eyes glowing with the same black void as before - he seems to be playing with us, letting Joce get hurt just out of the sheer cruelty and evil inside of him.

"Eddie, I'm dying... You have to hurry, please. You can do this." She manages to somehow pull apart her ruined shirt, revealing her chest and open wound. "Please, drink my blood and help Eleven end this."

I look at Joce, my eyes filled with horror as I see her wound. I feel the evil and cruelty from Vecna watching as we suffer, just to see what will happen to us.

I swallow. My throat is as dry as a desert. "Oh God, I-I don't know if I can do this, Joce…" She gently reaches for me. Her skin is like ice… "I-I'm scared… I can't- I-I-I don't know-"

I hear Vecna laughing.

I can see her getting weaker. "I love you..." She whispers again, reaching up and taking my face in her hands, guiding my lips to the wound. "You can do this..."

Tears stream down my face as I hear the words "I love you" and feel the comforting touch of her hands as she guides me to her wound. I hesitate for a moment, but I can still hear Vecna laughing behind us, and the sounds of Eleven as she battles him. I don't want to do this, but I know I have to. I do what Joce asks, and begin to lean in, the tears flooding onto the wound as I drink her blood. The same feeling of euphoria explodes through me, but I try to ignore it. This isn't the time. This isn't the place. This is… This is…

I pull back, her blood staining lips, feeling the strength returning to my body. I look up at her –

And my heart stops.

Her skin is white, her eyes open and sightless. She isn't moving. She isn't breathing.

I don't know if it was her wounds, or my feeding from her that killed her.

Shaking like mad, I reach my hand out towards Joce, my fingers lightly brushing her cheek. "Joce?" I whisper, my voice breaking. She doesn't move.

"Joce…?"

No. Please, God, no. Not her. Please. Anyone but her…

I get up, slowly turning to face Vecna. The scream that tears itself from my body is raw – ripping my throat apart like I've swallowed acid.

And then…

In the distance, I can hear the demobats. They're screeching and howling as they fly through the air. I see Vecna begin to smirk. However, in turn, I do as well.

He thinks he's won.

How wrong he is…

I take a second to collect myself, before speaking. The demobats begin to circle overhead, and Vecna begins to laugh at us again. A feeling of hate and anger surfaces, as I see Joce laying on the ground with her cold, lifeless eyes.

"You're gonna pay for this, Vecna." I say quietly, my voice deadly.

The demobats suddenly break off from the circle and begin to fly at Vecna, as I begin to charge towards him.

Vecna looks momentarily stunned, before he yells in rage, realizing the mistake he's made by turning me into the monster I am now. He yells in anger, trying to fight the demobats off. I launch myself into the air, attacking Vecna with everything I have. Biting, clawing, screaming.

Everything.

Then, Vecna throws me from him, into another building. My head smashes into the concrete, and I feel the darkness closing in like a tidal wave. Before I pass out, I see Eleven screaming louder than ever, as Vecna reacts in kind. There's a blinding flash of white light…

…and everything goes black.


My eyelids flutter, as I slowly come to. Vecna is nowhere to be seen. Everything is quiet. I begin to remember what happened, and my eyes find Joce. Slowly, I manage to crawl to her, and gently take her in my arms, tears racing down my cheeks in large streams.

"J-Joce… Are you-" I begin to say, my voice choking with tears. I slowly lift her into my arms as a feeling of dread and fear fills my veins. "Please, Joce… Oh my God… Don't leave me…" I start to sob brokenly, burying my face into her red hair, my shoulders heaving.

The others are approaching. Steve reaches me first, followed by Nancy and Robin. Steve kneels down, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Eddie.." Steve whispers, "Eddie, I'm so sorry."

Tears are streaming down my face as I hold Joce's lifeless body in my arms. My breath begins to come out in short gasps as I hear Steve's words. I feel as if my world is falling apart around me, watching Joce's blood soak into my clothes.

"Jocelyn.. Don't leave me… Don't you dare fucking leave me." Tears continue to flow as I look up to Steve, his face full of sorrow and remorse. He doesn't speak. I don't think he knows what to say.

Eleven and the rest walk up. Eleven looks awful, but alive. All around us is silence. But, I don't care. All I can do is chant, "I love you" over and over again while rocking Joce's lifeless body back and forth.

"I never used to believe in this future shit, but I do with you, Joce." I sob, my words watery and garbled. "I see us having a future. I know I can give it to us. I'll take life seriously. I'll graduate." I move her hair off her forehead, pressing my lips to her cold skin. "But I can't do it without you, Joce, please don't leave me!" I break down in hysterical sobs again.

It's not fair. It's not FAIR! It should've been me. Not her. Please, God, not her.

Mike turns to Eleven. "Can you do something? You saved Max when Vecna almost killed her. Can't you save Joce?" His voice sounds small and terrified. My head snaps up at his words, and I turn to look at Eleven pleadingly. She's watching us, and she looks apprehensive.

I look back to Joce, and see her lifeless face again, feeling my heart constrict. I look back at Eleven, hopeful and desperate, with tears in my eyes.

"Please… Can you save her… Please…" I whisper. "I love her. Please." I have never begged for anything, let alone someone else's life. But, now… I don't know what else to do.

Eleven slowly kneels down, sitting beside me and Joce. "I… have never done this without… a tank." Her voice are confusing, and I look at Mike, my eyes wide. He exhales softly.

"El… I know. I know this isn't normally how you do it, but… can you try? I mean, you managed to defeat Vecna, maybe it's different now?"

Wait, she defeated Vecna? I want to ask, but I don't have the mental energy to take that in, as well as this. I'll make sure to ask later, assuming I don't collapse like a dying star any minute…

Eleven rips part of her shirt, and ties it around her eyes. Mike motions for everyone to be quiet. Slowly, very slowly, Eleven reaches out, placing her hand over Joce's chest, where the wound, and my teeth marks, are. I gently lie Joce down on the ground, and sit back, tears still pouring down my face. I'm shaking so hard I worry Eleven can hear my teeth clacking together. Behind me, Robin places a gentle hand on my shoulder. I can't look at her. I can only look at Joce. For the first time in my entire life, I pray to a God I don't even believe in.

Please.

Please.

I'm begging you.

Bring her back to me.

I watch as Eleven takes a slow, deep breath, before the world goes eerily silent. Only the sounds of distant thunder can be heard. That, and my stifled sobs.

A minute passes.

Then ten.

Then thirty.

With a gasp, Eleven rips the blindfold off of herself. Her nose is bleeding. Everyone looks down at Joce. My heart is in my throat.

Please.