Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognizable characters and situations contained therein. All original content contained in this story is property of the author. This is a labor of love, I do not make any money off of this work of fiction (so basically please don't sue me…). This story is rated M and is only meant to be read by those readers 18 and older. Story may contain graphic language, graphic sexual content, underage drinking, and underage use of marijuana in a state where recreational use of marijuana is legal for those residents aged 21 and older.
A/N: Just a quick note about this story… for at least the next few chapters Bella is essentially in a relationship with original character Jesse Collins. I understand if that is not something some of you are okay with, but this is my story. I always promise a HEA for my main pairings and this story will be no exception so just… bear with me. Thank you to any of you who are still out there reading! ~DGS
**About two hours later, Bella POV**
It's like coming back from drowning…again.
This time though there are other feelings mixed in with the feeling of waking up…guilt, shame, remorse. I haven't been out of it for nearly as long as when I went down the rabbit hole when he left, and I remember what I did.
I keep my eyes closed and listen to the sounds around me… I'm definitely not home this time, most likely the emergency room. I wonder who found me, it had to be Charlie, God there'll be no sweeping this under the rug.
He'll probably have me committed, there's no way he'll believe that I didn't do it on purpose… I really wasn't trying to kill myself… I just wanted so bad to be numb, to not feel the heart-rending pain of my parent's complete and total rejection.
Someone is holding my hand… I squeeze it gently, and hear Jesse softly say my name, the relief is so clear in his voice that I can't stop the tears from sliding down my face.
Shushing me softly, "Shh, shh, it's okay Baby, we're gonna get you through this and out of here. It's gonna be fine, I promise. Don't cry, honey."
Opening my eyes, he doesn't look away, instead holding me captive in his scrutiny, as he says, "Bell, before the doctors come we have to get our stories straight. Your dad's not here, and I used the fake ID's that I got for us from my friend back in NY to tell the doctors that we're married. I need to know… before I agree to back you up on whatever you say, did you do this on purpose? Were you trying to kill yourself?"
Whispering loudly, I exclaim, "NO! I swear Jess, I wasn't! I just… I just wanted to be numb for a while, I wanted to sleep, to forget!"
He looks confused and worried, but his voice is calm, as he asks, "What happened?"
Sighing, I tell the truth, "When my dad came home he wanted to talk to me; I thought he was going to tell me to go back to my moms, and I basically cut him off and told him that I'd talk to my mom and be out of his hair as soon as she got back to Arizona in September. Well, turns out that's not what he was going to say. What he was going to tell me was that Renee dumped me on him. Apparently my stepdad got drafted to a minor league ball team in Florida, he and my mother bought a one bedroom place there, and that my things that were still at home in Phoenix would be sent to me. He's stuck with me… they were both stuck with me! He didn't want me at all my whole LIFE, and now she doesn't want me either! I just… I just wanted to forget that... just for a little while."
He looks stricken, and angry, but his voice is still level and caring as he says, "God, Bell… I'm so sorry! Please, you have to promise me that you will never do something like this again! I was so fucking scared when I found you baby! You really don't know how close you came to us not having this, or any other conversation, ever again!"
The tears slip down my face, and I pull him closer kissing him softly, and whispering against his mouth, "I swear Jess, I'm going to get my shit together. I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!"
He sits back down, still holding my hand as we wait for the doctor to come talk to us so I can try to get out of here.
**Short time skip, still BPOV**
A doctor comes through the curtain and says, "Mrs. Collins?"
Nodding, I stammer a little, "Uhm, yes, that's me… Bella Sw, uh… Collins."
He looks down at the chart, "I'm Dr. Draiman, I'm the psychiatrist with the hospital, and I need to ask you some questions to determine if you need to be held for further psychiatric observation."
Chewing on my lower lip, I reply, "Okay…"
Jesse holds my hand comfortingly as the doctor asks, "Mrs. Collins, do you know why you were brought in to the hospital tonight?"
Sadness washes over me, but I do my best not to break down as I answer the way I assume a rich socialite wife would answer, "Yes… I think so anyway. I mean, I was still pretty inebriated from the last couple of days. My husband and I had parties with friends back to back to back, and when we got home I wanted to take a nap, but I couldn't sleep. So, what happened was that I took too many sleeping pills and washed them down with the nearest liquid I had available, which happened to be a flask of vodka that was in my nightstand drawer. I'm feeling really, really guilty about what my husband went through when he came in and found me, but I swear that I am not suicidal! This was all just an unfortunate accident that will not happen again!"
The doctor frowns down at the notes he's taken, and asks, "Is that a common thing for you, Mrs. Collins, to keep a flask of vodka in your nightstand?"
Jesse speaks up, "No, it's not, I can attest to that… actually, the flask in question belongs to me. I had put it in her nightstand for safe keeping after a golf outing with my father a couple of weeks ago and forgot about it, so I guess that was my bad."
Dr. Draiman nods, and makes a note on the pad, before moving on, "And Mrs. Collins, do you habitually take the sleeping pills that you overdosed on?"
Shaking my head, I answer, "No, almost never. Only occasionally after a party when I have trouble sleeping."
He makes a little affirming noise, before asking, "And at these parties do you typically use narcotics, Mrs. Collins?"
Jesse interrupts again, and there's an edge to his voice that signals the end of the conversation, "I believe my wife has answered all the questions she is going to answer, Doc. She is not a drug addict, and I do not believe she is a danger to herself, and I'd like it if I could take her home as soon as possible."
The doctor clears his throat, but ultimately concedes, "Alright, Mr. Collins. I'll send someone back to speak with you both regarding discharge instructions."
**Time skip, Two hours later, Jesse POV**
Parking in Chief Swan's driveway, we head into the house, and up to Bella's room. She had asked to come back here instead of going back to my house where we'd have to deal with Dami and Tommy's Squestions. Apparently, her father won't be back until late tomorrow night, so I had agreed after texting the guys to let them know she was okay.
I turn my back politely as she changes and when I turn back around, she's wearing soft light purple sleep pants and a white tank top that clings to her full breasts and stops above her navel. She looks so sexy that my breath catches in my throat, but I know that tonight we both need rest more than anything.
Hesitantly she says, "Y, you don't have to stay if you don't want to Jess. I promise I won't do anything stupid."
I wrap my arm around her, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head, as I quietly say, "I'm not going anywhere, Baby. It's you and me tonight, okay?"
She relaxes into my side, and asks, "do you have clothes to change into?"
Shit, I forgot my bag in the car and I just don't want to go out and get it right now, nervous I ask, "would it be okay if I just wear my boxers and the t-shirt I have on? My stuff is out in the car but I'm just exhausted baby"
Letting out the breath she was holding, she answers, "Of course that's okay Jess! I'll just turn around"
She turns around and I take my jeans off, and approach her carefully, wrapping my arms around her waist and leaning in to kiss the base of her neck where it flows into the curve of her shoulder.
A soft moan, and a breathy sigh escape her lips, and we move together to lay down on her bed. Moving up I turn so that I'm lying on my back, and she snuggles in against my side, but of course, her relaxation can't last too long…
**BPOV**
My phone starts buzzing and I sit up to look at it. My throat tightens up as I see that it's my mom calling, and I sit back against Jesse, and he wraps his arms around my waist before I answer, "h, h, hello?"
Mom sounds cheery and upbeat as she rambles, "Hey Baby Girl! How are you? I can't wait to tell you all about this trip, I'm so glad we're coming back early, it's been absolutely insane! How's it going with Charlie? If you absolutely hate it out there I'll fly you back to Phoenix early. We'll just tell Charlie that he's gonna help you with college expenses anyway, and you and I will have some girl time before school starts up again"
Confused, and upset, I blurt out, "Wait, what?! How can we have 'girl time' in Phoenix when you're moving to Florida and mailing me my stuff?!"
Renee sounds really confused, and worried, as she asks, "Bella, honey what are you talking about?"
Incredulously, I blurt out, "Charlie told me that Phil got traded to the Miami Marlins farm team, and that you were moving immediately into a 1-bedroom condo in Florida when you got back from your trip! He said that you were having the house packed up by Phil's agent and that you would have my things shipped to me here in Forks! He said he talked to you this morning!"
Mom breathes out, "Oh, Bella... That unbelievable fucking liar! I have half a mind to get on a plane to Seattle first thing tomorrow morning and wreck his world! Let me put your mind at ease Baby Girl, Phil and I are not moving anywhere, and if we were to move it would most certainly NOT be into a 1 bedroom anything! Don't you know how much I love you Bella? No matter how old you are, you are my daughter, and you will always be my little girl! You will always have a place with me, wherever I live! Look, Phil and I are in California, we're in a hotel near LAX until tomorrow morning. Do you want me to buy you a ticket and we'll meet you at the airport in Phoenix tomorrow around noon?"
I look at Jesse, considering her offer… now that I know Charlie is a liar, what I really want is revenge. I want to make his life miserable by having as much fun and causing him as much embarrassment as I can without hurting myself or fucking up mine and Jesse's futures. Fuck him, I'm not letting him win.
Taking a deep breath, I answer, "No, it's okay mom. Honestly aside from Charlie, I actually like it here. I've made some friends and I'm sort of seeing someone. It just makes me feel so much better to know that I'd be able to go home if I really needed to. He made it seem like neither of you really wanted me, that you were both just stuck with me until I was old enough to be on my own. I know now that that's not true. I love you, Mom. I'm glad you're back in the states, I'll call you tomorrow. Tell Phil I said hey."
She tells me she loves me too, and that she and Phil put some money in my account for clothes and things, I say thank you, and we hang up.
Jesse looks at me incredulously, "He lied?!"
I nod, "looks that way. What an asshole! What can we do to cause him maximum embarrassment without getting ourselves in real trouble?"
Thoughtfully Jesse answers, "I'm sure we'll think of something, but right now let's just relax. You went through a lot today Baby, we both did. We should probably slow it down a little bit on the extracurricular activities, at least for the rest of this week. Give both our systems a chance to reset."
Snuggling up against his side I feel safe, and the tingles are there for the first time with him completely sober. Whatever it is we're doing, it feels good…
.
.
.
.
.
.
**Sam POV**
The absolute black fucking rage that I feel in my head after overhearing Bella's conversation with her mother is almost beyond control. Charlie Swan is THE worst fucking father in the world in my opinion, and that includes Paul's abusive alcoholic sperm donor.
Jared chimes in, 'Dude, what the actual fuck is wrong with her dad man? His lie could literally have killed her!
Paul of course throws in his dumbass two cents, "Hey Sam man, does it bother you that that 6'3 pasty ass white boy is probably gonna be her first?"
If he was in front of me he'd be bleeding, he feels the anger and wisely backtracks, "Sorry man, I didn't mean it, bad joke… in all seriousness though man, I'm glad he was able to get her to the hospital in time…"
Jared huffs and then lays something far more important on the table, "Sam man, uh, Embry hasn't been looking too good lately. I think he's getting close to Phasing. I think we should talk to him in the morning."
Confused, I think back at them, "Embry? Embry Call? He's from Makah isn't he? Why would he…"
Paul interrupts, 'I'm sorry man, that's my bad… Embry's dad is actually uh… my dad… I probably should have mentioned that before at some point…"
Fuck. Incredulously I respond, "oh you fucking think?! What the fuck Paul?! How could you not tell us that Embry Call is your half-brother and therefore likely to phase?"
He basically shrugs and again I wish he was in front of me so I could take a swipe at him, fucker deserves it, and he knows it, as his tone is mildly apologetic, "I figured maybe because his mom isn't Quileute that maybe it'd just skip him, or maybe because it got me that it wouldn't get him with us being the same bloodline. I dunno, I guess I just didn't want to fuck the kids life up. The old man bailed out on both our moms, and the only reason I know is because he let it slip in a drunken fight with my mom before he disappeared for good. Honestly… um… I'm not sure if Embry even knows…"
Fucking shit. Taha Aki help me this is gonna be a fucked up conversation. "I guess I should talk to Billy?"
Who am I asking? Not for the first time in the last couple of years I wish that things were different, that I was just a normal fucking guy and not the one in charge. Bella is okay, she's safe for right now. The wolf is gonna just have to accept whatever goes down between her and the kid, there's literally nothing we can do to change it or stop it at this point. Pack matters must take precedence, especially if we're going to have a new brother. The way I've been acting lately has not been fair to my brothers, especially Jared who has been picking up a lot of my fucking slack.
He breaks into my stream of consciousness, "Sam man, don't beat yourself up, the Imprint is imperative… I appreciate what you've been going through and trust me if this was the situation when Kim and I imprinted I'd be way worse than you are man. Let's meet up at your place and call Billy."
Letting him know that I'm on my way I take one last look up at Bella's window from my position under the tree. I can hear him kissing her, talking softly to her, with the wolf hearing I can make out every sigh and whisper… It hurts, but not the way it would if our imprint was the way it was supposed to be, I guess I'll have to count that as a silver lining. Huffing I let out a vicious snarl and run back through the woods towards home.
.
.
.
.
**Bella POV**
Jess tilts my face up so that I'm looking into his blue/gray eyes, the color shifts lighter and darker at random and he looks so young right now as he says, "I care about you a lot Bella, you're beautiful, and sweet." He plants light kisses on my lips between every word, "you're funny, and smart, and so much stronger than you think you are."
Touched by his words, tears slip down my face as I wrap my arms around him, shifting back so that he's leaning over me, my hands tangling into his brown hair as I sigh and whisper back between kisses, "I'm such a damn mess Jesse, I'm gonna do better though, I promise. I'll never scare you like I did today again. I'm so sorry I put you through that. I care about you too! You're my best friend, you're sexy, thoughtful, strong, and just the best guy I've ever known. I'm so lucky to have you in my life."
His beard is rough, but his lips are full, soft, and strong against mine, I surrender to the tingles, deepening the kiss, his tongue flicks lightly against my lower lip, and I dart mine out to meet it, soft feather light strokes, he still tastes like weed even though he hasn't smoked since this afternoon, and the way he smells and feels against me makes me want more…
Pulling back he plants a kiss on my forehead, and his hand is on my stomach, warm and calloused, sending sparks in all directions as he rubs small circles on my pale skin. I remember sitting on his lap and his hand on my stomach the first night at his house, how I had thought to myself 'if he moves up or down we're going to have a problem', now though, I want that contact, I want to feel his hands all over me…
My breath catches in my throat as outside an animal snarls, but this time I don't pull away in fear, and when Jesse's hand stills, I put my hand on his wrist and encourage him to keep going, guiding his hand up and then letting go to reach out and guide his lips back to mine with my hand on the back of his neck.
Jesse's hand continues to move upwards, but when he hits the hem of my tank top he continues upwards over top of it. He deepens the kiss and I feel his hand on the underside of my breast through the thin fabric of my tank top, his tongue slides against mine sensually for a second before he pulls back and asks, "Are you sure this is okay, Honey? We don't have to go any farther tonight…"
Biting my lower lip I nod and whisper softly, "I'm sure Jesse… I want you to touch me... please… I've never…"
He kisses me softly, and cups me through my shirt, the tingles are overwhelming as I moan into his mouth lightly. He gently kneads my breast brushing his thumb over the hard nipple, our tongues caress each other, moving faster and deeper as we adjust and he's on top of me now. I wrap my legs instinctively around his waist and I can feel him now against my center through our clothes… it feels big, and part of me wants to go farther, but part of me is scared.
Jesse seems to understand how I'm feeling, and he whispers against my lips, "You feel so good, just like this. I just want to hold you like this for a while"
Moaning into his kiss I whisper back, "yes… just like this…"
Instinctively, unbidden, my hips thrust up against him, we rock together, and the pressure of him against my center feels so good it makes me moan and whimper. It feels so good even though we're both still clothed.
Jesse slows, rocking gently but firmly against me until the pressure builds to a crescendo and I cry out. He moans and pinches my nipple lightly through the top, kissing me softly as my breath evens out… I'm so tired now, but unbelievably content, and I whisper against his lips, "that was amazing"
He whispers back, "you feel so good, honey. I wanna make you feel amazing for the rest of our lives. I can tell you're exhausted Baby, lay back and close your eyes, get some rest."
I look up into his eyes, curious as I ask, "what about you? I got to… don't you want to…?"
He smiles and kisses me, "I'll be okay. I may go use your bathroom and take care of it, but next time I'll be more prepared as far as a change of clothes goes. I don't want to make a mess right now"
I giggle a little and say, "oh…. I understand…"
The exhaustion of the day has my eyes fluttering closed as we move back into sleep friendly positions while jesse continues to kiss me and caress my face gently. He whispers as I drift into sleep, "rest baby, I'll be here in the morning"
.
.
.
.
.
**Meanwhile, Charlie POV**
Kay is the maddest I've ever seen her, her eyes are blazing, as she yells at me in her living room, "YOU TOLD HER WHAT?!"
Nonplussed, I answer, "I told her that her mom had moved into a one-bedroom condo with her new husband and that she would mail her the rest of her things… What's the big deal honey? Look I'm really trying! She doesn't give me the time of day Kay! She's always out with those boys. She smokes weed and drinks and I don't want her to go back to Renee and tell her all this shit! I needed to tell her something so that she wouldn't leave!"
Kay looks absolutely livid, and I'm starting to think maybe I really messed up bad here somehow…
Her voice is deadly calm as she says to me, "Charlie, you're the chief of police… you're supposed to be smarter than this! Your daughter is clearly emotionally fragile, that much should have been clear to you from when she was catatonic less than a fucking month ago! Let's for a minute stop using your inept dad brain when it comes to your daughter, and START using your police brain okay?"
She breaks off and pinches the bridge of her nose in annoyance before continuing, "So… just for a minute put aside the fact that Bella is your daughter, and that you're afraid of looking bad to your ex-wife and the hotshot new husband. If Bella was a suspect, how would you characterize her actions post catatonic state? The drinking, the drugs, the attitude and the inappropriate friends/boyfriend?"
Shit… when she puts it that way it's very clear that my daughter is crying out for help… Kay isn't finished yet though, she continues, "I can see that you've caught on. So now let me ask you Charlie… If another parent told their emotionally fragile, acting out, basically all but literally crying out for help teenager that their mother, the only parent they're close to, moved without considering them and in fact moved to a place with no room for them without a word, using your cop brain, what do you think could be the possible outcome there?"
Stricken, I answer, "Oh God… What've I done? Did she hurt herself? Fuck, what do I do Kay?"
Kay looks at me sternly, "First off, you thank God that that girls boyfriend did the right thing today and brought her to the ER. Second, you keep your mouth shut about everything that I'm about to tell you and you start doing your part to TRY to build a relationship with that girl because she needs you to pull your head out of your ass and at least make an effort to be her parent! I'm not gonna lie to you Charlie, it might be too late. Your stunt today really may have fucked you out of ever having a good relationship with her, and if that's the case I'm going to tell you the hard truth… You suck it up until she goes to college, you take whatever embarrassing bullshit she throws at you for the next year and a half with a smile, and you keep fucking trying. You do all that, and maybe, just maybe you'll have a chance to have a relationship with your grandkids."
I nod at her, and make a promise, "I will. Whether she allows me to be her parent or not, I'll take it. Tell me what happened?"
Kay sinks down onto the couch across from me, and my blood runs cold as she says, "They think it might have been a suicide attempt. The Collins boy brought her to the ER, he used fake ID's to get her treated and released. I spoke to him while they were treating her. He said that he didn't know what happened to make her do that, that she had seemed relatively fine for her when he dropped her at your house this afternoon."
Interrupting my voice is shrill and a little panic stricken as I demand, "Why didn't you CALL me IMMEDIATELY?!"
She gives me a warning look and I shut my mouth as she answers, "Because, Charlie, the last thing she needed when she woke up after OD'ing on prescription sleeping pills and alcohol, would have been you there having a fit, threatening the boy who saved her life, and making her more upset by trying to ban her from seeing him!"
Breaking off she heaves a sigh of disgust, and tells me, "You listen to me Charlie, the best thing in your daughter's life right now is that boy! He did the right thing at every turn today! He got her to the hospital, got her treated, and took her home. He gave them financial information to pay her bill, but I told him that I would get them her insurance information tomorrow. Honestly that's the only reason I'm telling you about this, because we are going to go in there tomorrow and fix this without getting that kid in trouble! If nothing else, he loves her Charlie, he saved her life!
A/N: Hi! So it's been a super long time since I've updated any of my stories, 2017 was the last time I updated here. Most of this chapter was already written and ready to go years ago. My life got a little crazy for a while, I moved states, got divorced, went back to school and started a whole new career and life from where I was back when I originally wrote these stories. I can't promise anything about how fast updates will come but I'm doing my best to get back into it.
