It was kinda nice, not being as angry all the time anymore.

Don't get me wrong, Robbie was still pretty angry-you would be too, if you had to deal with teenage hormones combined with parents who were relentlessly cheerful all the time the way he did.

But he had at least managed to stop pining over Wendy.

A little part of him still ached over things not working out with her, yeah. After all, she was his first crush, ever since the day she punched him in the face for pulling her hair; that wasn't something you got over easily.

But in hindsight…the way he'd behaved after finally getting the chance to date her had been…maybe a little possessive. Not to mention creepy.

And had he seriously tried to get in a fight with a twelve-year-old just for liking her?

That was…kinda low, even for him.

Sometimes Robbie thought about maybe sorta apologizing to the kid for that whole mess; on the other hand, that felt a lot like giving in, which totally went against his Cool Teen Code of Conduct.

Mostly he just tried to rechannel his emotions into music, and went around with Tambry and the rest of the gang every chance he got, now that they'd accepted him back into their group.

And, y'know, stopped glaring at Dipper every time he and his sister hung out with them.


This particular day, though, he'd been kept busy running an errand for his parents.

Apparently they were having a sale on coffins (Order Now, Get An Extra Fluffy Pillow Upon Interment!), and Mom had asked him to go around town to see if anyone was looking ill, or older than usual, and if so he was supposed to leave a flier on their doorstep.

Something about that felt a little messed up, but Tambry was shopping with her mom, and he was out of spray paint, so Robbie agreed to it.

He squinted down at the list Mom had written for him, rolling his eyes at the way she dotted all her 'i's with little hearts and wondering again how they were related. After all, any teenager with sense knew that the cool thing would be to dot them with little pictures of skulls.

Ooh, Mayor Befufflefumpter was next on the list. He and the gang had driven by the mansion once or twice to cat call and make Thompson moon the place through the car window, but he'd never actually gone to the front door. Kinda worth bragging about to the guys.

Robbie strode along, musing new song lyrics to himself as he walked and thinking about which ones to share with Tambry during his texting break, when he was interrupted by a familiar voice down by his leg chirping, "Hello!"

Robbie jumped, and made a noise that definitely wasn't a yelp or anything, as he looked down to see-

"Oh. Hey."

Mabel beamed up at him. "Whatcha doin'?"

Robbie gave a world-weary sigh. "Dropping off fliers for my parents."

"Aww, that's sweet of you!"

Ugh, she was just as chipper as Mom. But somehow it was a little less annoying coming from her.

"Eh, I was bored." He shrugged, and continued walking.

Mabel fell into step beside him (impressive, considering how short her legs were compared to his), and asked, "Hey, after you're done with that, would you mind coming back to the Mystery Shack with me? We need your help fulfilling a prophecy that'll save the world from an evil triangle."

…Robbie wondered if this kid had found more Smile Dip or something.

"Uh…"

While he kinda-sorta-maybe liked the fact that she'd been the only person who'd been nice to him at his lowest point, and she was maybe fun to hang around in a "cute little sister" kind of way, he didn't know if it was enough to make him actually want to spend time with her for whatever kind of weird game this was-

"Afterwards we can do manicures," Mabel singsonged, pulling some polish out of her sweater. "I got some special colors just for you!"

She held them up, allowing Robbie to see the labels: Nosferatu's Lunch Red and Heart of Darkness Black.

"...What kind of prophecy are you talking about?"


"Llama…llama…" Dipper muttered, looking back and forth as he walked in search of any signs of someone wearing a llama symbol.

Or someone with a llama. Or, heck, even someone with fluffy hair, or who was really good at spitting? After all, Grunkle Ford said that it didn't have to be a literal llama, it could just represent someone with the qualities of one…what about Old Man McGucket? He didn't have any real hair left except for his beard, but he did do a lot of spitting-

The walkie talkie in his vest pocket crackled.

"Starman, this is Question Dude. Any luck? Over."

Dipper pulled out the walkie talkie. "Negative, Question Dude. Not a llama as far as the eye can see. In fact, the only person I've seen in this town who owns anything with a llama on it is Mabel, but it can't be her if she's already the shooting star."

There was a long pause.

"...Soos?"

"Dude, you're supposed ta say 'over' when you're done talking. And use our code names, in case Bill is listening in on our conversation."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Soos, I'm pretty sure that if Bill is watching us, he already knows who we are, so the code names aren't gonna be much help."

Another long pause.

Dipper sighed. "Over."

"Fair point, dude-I mean, Starman, but you gotta admit they sound cool. Over."

"...Yeah, okay, I'll give you that one. Over-wait a second. The petting zoo!"

"Dude? Over?"

Dipper turned on his heel and began jogging in the direction of Farmer Sprott's farm. "Remember when we went to the petting zoo and stole that mutant cow? Over?" Surprisingly, he wasn't as out of breath as he would have been at the beginning of the summer; maybe all those times spent running for his life or chasing down homicidal pixelated action heroes were finally beginning to pay off.

"Oh yeah, I remember that! Then we had to watch her eat crow-literally!"

"Yeah, and I think I saw a llama at the zoo! Maybe Farmer Sprott is the next part of the Zodiac!"

Soos was too excited to scold Dipper for not giving him a chance to say 'over,' and for forgetting to say it that time. "Smart thinking, dude! I'll meet you there in a few minutes! Over!"

"Over and out!" Dipper shoved the walkie talkie into his vest and picked up speed.

Time to really impress Great Uncle Ford.


Wendy glanced at Mr. Pines, and saw that he was looking a lot better than he'd been ever since his brother came home.

He was frowning, yeah, and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he looked back and forth at passersby, but it was more normal "grumpy Mr. Pines" and less "I hate my jerk brother but I also want him to love me again."

Maybe he and said jerk brother really had figured out how stupid their whole fight was and gotten their sh-uh, stuff together.

…Not that she cared or anything, but she didn't like seeing the kids and Soos upset about it.

"So," she finally broke the silence, "I was thinking, what about Candy?"

Mr. Pines blinked. "If you wanted a snack, you shoulda brought your own. I'm not made of money, and if you wanna try gettin' it for free-" he wiggles his fingers meaningfully- "you'll haveta outwit the security cameras."

Wendy snorted. "I'm not opposed to that, actually, but I was talking about Mabel's nerd friend. The one who wears glasses. Maybe she's the one we're looking for."

His eyes widened…and then frowned thoughtfully. "Huh. Ya think?"

"Well, who else do we know in this town who wears glasses and is crazy levels of smart?"

Before Mr. Pines could answer, a herd of people stampeded past their car in a chorus of screams that were different variations on "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" and "NOT AGAIN!"

A second later, a giant gray metal possum came striding into the street, overturning a couple of cars and knocking the top off of a fire hydrant with its tail.

From inside its mouth, two familiar voices echoed:

"Sorry, I'm still getting used ta steerin' this thing!"

"Yore doin' great, Tater Tot! Jes' ease up on the clutch a bit, an' remember it ain't too different from drivin' a car, 'cept it's way more versatile an' can climb up the sides o' buildings!"

The possum rose up on its hind legs and waved its paws in the air, while from inside it came the sounds of banjo playing and Appalachian laughter.


Mr. Pines and Wendy looked at each other.

"...Maybe grab both of them, just in case?" Wendy suggested.

"Good plan." Mr. Pines honked on the horn, and stuck his head out the window.

"Hey, McGucket! Mind if we have a word?"


Sorry if any of you are Robbie fans, but I had a hard time writing him in a way that was actually sympathetic. Don't get me wrong, if I had to live with his parents I'd probably be grouchy and frustrated too, but whether or not we believe the assertion that he wasn't actually mind controlling Wendy, he's still a bullying jerk who wanted to beat up a twelve-year-old just for having a crush on his girlfriend, and blamed him for their breakup when they had been falling apart at the seams anyway thanks to his treatment of her.

*Gets down off soapbox before I go into my elaborate Society of the Blind Eye-related theory regarding him*

Also, Thompson needs better friends, stat.