A/N I'm really sorry y'all had to wait this long for a new chapter. I needed surgery and recovery. Then after that, I had to deal with some things in my personal life. I didn't want y'all to wait any longer so this chapter is a bit shorter. I'd also like to say thank you, again, for the reviews the story is still getting. I greatly appreciate all of them.
Chapter 66
"The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize," - Robert Hughes
As promised when he would behave, Oliver was released the next day after his surgery. It had been later in the afternoon as his surgeon wouldn't let him go earlier after his little stunt in the recovery room and of course, his little trip through the hospital didn't help it either. Although Oliver argued that if he was well enough to do that he certainly was well enough to be released, the surgeon stayed with his decision and it took a lot of persuading of basically all women to get him to stay and not to leave AMA.
It was now a week later and everything went as well as things could be going. Kerry's transfer had been going relatively smoothly, thanks to Oliver using his cards. And the squad had been welcoming Kerry warmly, they were informed that Oliver knew Kerry and that was all they needed to know. Each member knew that if Kerry would want to, she would come forward with it in her own time, if not it was more than fine as well. They were all smart people and knowing that Oliver knew the blonde Detective, they all suspected that he had something to do with it and that whatever it was would be kept between the two of them. They also knew that she would be a good Detective, otherwise she wouldn't have been here and they were looking forward to getting to know her better. For the moment Jane was assigned to be Kerry's partner.
Vain was arrested for the blackmailing and threatening of Gena and Kerry, and for resisting arrest, he also lost his license and it was unlikely that it would be possible for him to work in a hospital again, in New York that was at least as every hospital knew Oliver, besides that, losing your license and having to go to court wouldn't exactly help either. No matter what the outcome would be of the case or getting back his license eventually.
And then there was Cragen's offer or request, depending on how you'd look at it. While he had joked about Cragen needing somebody to keep everyone out of trouble while getting himself into it, he did need time to seriously think about Cragen's request and whether or not he would take upon it or not, even though he had said he would come back. It wasn't easy for Oliver to decide what he wanted to do, his low self-esteem got in the way and he wasn't convinced that he could do it. So while it wasn't a definite "no", it wasn't a loud and clear "yes" either. The detective had talked about it with Alex for a bit, but not in-depth, and Alex had suggested to him to talk about it with Kim during one of his sessions, which had led to Oliver thinking about that and thinking about the offer that was made by Lisa in the beginning when he started his therapy sessions with Kim. Oliver ended up taking the offer that was made to him months ago by Kim's wife Lisa's offer to talk with her. Even though he trusted Kerry and she went through the process like Lisa had, Kerry didn't come back the same way Lisa had, namely after a shooting and going through the process while coming back. Oliver knew that he probably would talk with Kerry and likely with either Jane or Abby or both as well before he would make a decision. And while Alex didn't usually join Oliver's sessions, occasionally she would, at either Oliver's request or Kim's, with Oliver's permission. Oliver had asked his wife to join his session this time and requested Kim for Lisa to be there as well. Oliver had wanted Alex to join him not only because he was anxious to talk with someone he didn't know and about something so important and personal, so he needed her support, but also because this way if he managed to open up during his session, well, then Alex would know it as well. He did a pretty good job at letting Alex inside and being open with her. Most of the time he would open up to her eventually, these days, it had required a lot of hard work during his sessions with Kim but he was getting there. Alex still had to work hard, a lot of times, to get him talking, however, he didn't completely shut her out anymore or run when things would be difficult. As for Kim, she had asked Oliver why he wanted Lisa to join his session, but other than he was taking up her offer, he hadn't explained it, and even though the good doctor had an inkling about the reason why he wanted it, she hadn't pushed him this time to open up and tell it. Because Oliver's recovery from his shooting went very well they had decided to go back to the city and stay at Alex's apartment, now their apartment of course, so that's where Oliver would have his sessions with Kim, and after Kim had assured him multiple times that it really wasn't inconvenient for Lisa and herself to have this particular session in New York, he finally had given in and accepted that this session would be at their apartment as well as opposed to what he had suggested namely having it in the Hamptons as it was closer to Kim and Lisa's home. So here they were and the introductions between them had just been made. Alex and Oliver were seated on the sofa, a coffee table in front of them, and Kim and Lisa were sitting in chairs on the other side of it.
"So you all are probably wondering why I asked for Lisa to join this session, well the both of you, Kim and Lisa, as Alex knows why I asked for both her and Lisa to join," Oliver said as he looked at both women.
"Nice try, Detective, but you know I don't guess, so you might as well just tell us," Kim answered, a light tone in her voice.
"Well I'm a cop and we do guess, mostly educated, however, I think I pass this time, as I don't know enough about you to make that educated guess and I don't want anyone ganging up on me already. Sorry Benson, but you're on your own," Lisa answered.
"Really, that's what you're going with, abandoning me already, that's not a good way to start anything you might want to do for and especially with me, Officer Olsen," Oliver replied to Lisa, with a straight face.
Kim and Lisa both didn't know whether or not Oliver was actually serious or if he was joking or partly joking. And while Alex usually could read her husband well, even the blonde attorney didn't know if he meant it or not. And not wanting this to go wrong before they started, Alex decided to try to defuse the situation if he did mean it seriously.
"Pardon me, officer, but you have to be more specific, just Benson won't do it, were you talking about my husband or myself? Because if you are talking about Benson and referring to me, just Counselor or Alex will work better, just saying," Alex quipped.
Oliver looked at Alex and the corner of his mouth curled just the tiniest bit, but enough for Alex to know that he wasn't serious and to know that he wanted Lisa to sweat a bit before he let her off the hook.
"My wife got a point there, so are you going and try to make it better or are you gonna dig yourself in further, officer?" Oliver asked.
"Uhm, is there a right answer to that question?" Lisa tentatively asked.
"There sure is, it's the one you think might be the best," Oliver answered.
"I plead the fifth," Lisa answered, although it sounded more like a question.
"I'll let you off the hook this time, but next time be more careful, Olsen, Officer. Seriously though, I know at first sight it might seem like Alex's wrath will be worse, given she's a lawyer, but trust me when I say mine is worse, especially when she's the subject of my wrath. But that is something you might know already given you've been around for a while with the NYPD," Oliver replied with a smirk on his face.
As soon as Lisa saw the smirk on Oliver's face she knew she'd been played. But she also recognized the not-so-hidden warning about his wrath should Alex be the subject of it. And indeed had she heard something about it, after all, Oliver was a Detective that a lot of the members from the NYPD either knew or had heard about, and she wasn't dumb enough to want to try and find out how bad it would be herself.
"I think "saved by the lawyer" is the most accurate reply. Anyway, to avoid the whole Dr/Officer and Detective/Counselor thing, might I suggest continuing on a first-name basis, I think that's what you were partly doing before I joined this session so no need to change that, in my opinion," Lisa said.
"I agree with that, both our wives were called by their first names, and Kim would call me Detective, because I probably love that as much as she calls you Officer, but since we're not on the job there's no need for calling ranks, so Oliver and Lisa would be fine for me, between you and I," Oliver replied.
"Well now that's sorted, can we start with this session, you've been stalling long enough by now, Detective," Kim quipped, but with a serious tone in her voice.
"Slavedriver," Oliver countered back.
Lisa snickered but stopped after looking at her wife. Kim just shook her head.
"You officers of the law are all the same. Alright, Oliver why did you want Lisa and Alex to be here for your session?" Kim asked.
Oliver looked at Alex and the blonde attorney nodded back encouragingly at her husband.
"I have had a request, or offer if you will, from my Captain, he wants me to at first partly come back when I'm physically recovered from the mastectomy I just had, he wants to form a new team with Jane, Kerry and myself, with me being the head of the team as a Sergeant, so he also wants me to take the Sergeant exam. And while initially, I said yes to him, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I want to do it or not. Kerry is a Detective that just transferred into the squad, but she and I were partners at the Academy. Jane is a good friend of mine and was a homicide Detective before she transferred to the NYPD and SVU coming from the Boston PD, we were friends while she was a homicide Detective in Boston. I know you knew about Jane already Kim, but Lisa didn't, so now the both of you know about the dynamics between the both of them and myself. That's why I wanted Lisa to join this session, to take up her offer about talking with her if I wanted it. As for Alex being here, I need her support to talk about this whole work situation, and I haven't opened up to her about it, not really, when we talked about it, so I also want her to be there when I do open up about it during this session as you always make me do. So in a way, it's also practicing again with opening up to her about something that matters. I think that's it," Oliver answered.
Kim looked at her wife and Lisa nodded at her, for her to take the lead and go from there. Kim nodded back before she looked back at Oliver and replied.
"So initially you said yes to your Captain's request. We'll get to the rest of your answer later, but can you tell us or explain why you said yes initially?" Kim asked.
Oliver looked at Alex and reached out his hand toward her. Alex took his hand and squeezed it as encouragement but kept holding it. The blonde attorney knew why he had said yes in the first place, but she also knew why he was second-guessing it now or doubting himself or his abilities. Not that it was necessary, he was a cop and always would be no matter what his decision would be. Seeing the doubt and insecurity in his eyes, Alex leaned over and kissed Oliver briefly, before she leaned back and looked into his eyes.
"Just tell her, or them, Liv, they'll understand it, both why you said yes at first and why you're not sure anymore now, remember Lisa had to make the same decision you now have to make, so she'll understand it, probably the best of the three of us. And no matter what, I'll always be proud of you," Alex whispered.
Oliver nodded at her, Alex's words were exactly what he needed to hear. Then he looked back at Kim and started to talk.
"It was what had happened before he requested it that made me say yes. Long story short, one of the nurses from the hospital where things went down and I got shot, Gena, now works in the hospital where they did the mastectomy, and something had happened in her personal life that included her wife Kerry. The way we, or more specifically I, handled it and worked things out was making me think like a Detective again, something Alex noticed as well. That got me thinking that maybe I could do it again, and that's why I said yes at first, also it would be the start of him slowly grooming me to get ready to take over SVU as a Captain, somewhere in the future when he retires. He wants me to be his successor," Oliver answered.
"Seems to me he's convinced that you could do it. He trusts you and has faith in you. And it also seems like he wants to slowly get you ready to take over, without putting any pressure on it. He asked you to start with partly coming back into your job but also to take the Sergeant exam, correct?" Kim asked.
"Yes," Oliver answered.
Did he say anything else concerning this subject?" Kim asked.
"He asked me if I saw myself going anywhere else within the force, besides the 16th precinct's SVU. And that like him I didn't give a shit about politics or kissing asses, but that I knew how to play the game when needed. And I agreed with him that SVU was my home and that I didn't see myself going anywhere else," Oliver answered.
"In other words, he thinks that you're the only one that could take over as his successor. And that he thinks or knows that you wouldn't turn into a politician down the road. Let's not beat around the bush here, you and I, and Alex I suppose, we all know that should you return to the NYPD, SVU is likely where you would return to and stay there until you choose to retire. So we'll let that rest for the moment and continue with the second part of your answer, okay?" Kim summarised and asked.
Oliver nodded and looked at his wife, who nodded as well.
"Don't you know in general what to do, as in if you should go back to being a Detective, or specifically if you want to do as your Captain requested, as there is a difference between the two of them?" Kim asked.
"Both, I think," Oliver answered softly.
"I see. And that's why you requested for Lisa to join our session, isn't it?" Kim asked.
"Yes, it is. When Kerry came back after her transition, it was different than it was for Lisa or might be for me. Lisa came back after being shot and being in the process of her transition. So I think she understands me better because of that." Oliver replied.
"The two of you have a lot in common, Detective, and this is one of them," Kim said.
Kim looked at her wife for a second or two, getting a slight nod in return and then the Doctor looked at Alex and Oliver before she spoke again.
"I want to do something different than we normally do in your sessions. If that is alright with you and Alex of course?" Kim asked.
"And what would that be?" Oliver asked wearily as he moved closer to Alex.
Kim noticed it and knew that Oliver instinctively moved closer to Alex to be able to protect her better, and decided to say something to Oliver to assure him that Alex's safety wasn't in danger. The doctor knew how something quickly could turn bad if the attorney's well-being was in danger or the Detective thought it would be.
"You don't have to be worried, it won't harm Alex, Detective. I would never do something or suggest to do something, that could potentially harm either one of you," Kim said.
"I don't think you would be stupid enough to do something like that, but until I know what it is that you want to do I will have some reservations about it. Better safe than sorry and all that jazz," Oliver replied.
Kim just smiled at Alex and Oliver as her answer before she turned serious again and continued.
"What I want to do is for you and Lisa to take over this session, unless I think I must react or act," Kim answered and explained.
"You want to do what?!" Oliver asked, shocked.
