Stevie hasn't relaxed since her father called her. The entirety of their house has been scrubbed down. There is no single assignment left to do on her syllabi. She hates that this happened to her brother. She should've done something. She caught him taking money out of her purse three weeks ago. He told her it was for weed, and she believed him. He begged her not to tell their parents, so she didn't. She was trying to be the cool big sister. She swears she didn't know Jason was that bad. She thinks over the last few months trying to place his behavior. She knows addiction, or she thought she did. Harrison has been one of her closest friends for years. She had watched Harrison fall into the heroin rabbit hole more than once. She knew about the danger of addiction, and she couldn't imagine Jason doing that to himself. Now she realizes all of the things that were happening. His grades were lower than they had ever been. He didn't eat dinner with the family. He quit playing Xbox. She wishes, more than anything, that she would've told her parents about the money and the weed. And maybe Jason wouldn't be fighting for his life right now. She finds herself at the kitchen sink, re-washing dishes.
Henry has never seen Stevie look more like her mother. She's standing at the sink scrubbing an already clean pot. Everything down to the worried expression she wears on her face reminds him of his wife. Elizabeth's words hit his ears. She's a wild Mustang, and we broke her. Maybe they did. He wonders if maybe Stevie noticed Jason's problems. If she did, she never said anything. If she did, it wasn't her job. If she did, maybe she didn't know how to help him. Maybe she tried to help him. Maybe they've been ignoring her too. And Allison.
"Hey, little one. It's clean." He's said the same thing to Elizabeth more than he can count.
"I'm sorry, Dad." His daughter whispers, and Henry realizes he's right. Stevie did notice. Just when he didn't think he could feel any guiltier, his heart almost stops at the guilt and sorrow that crosses his little girl's face. Suddenly Stevie is three again, and she dropped her mother's favorite glass vase.
"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. Jason is going to be okay. We'll all support him through this." Henry wraps Stevie in a hug. He doesn't know if he's telling the truth. He doesn't know what he's saying right now. All he knows is that his daughter needs comfort, and it's the least he can do for her.
"How bad is he?" He hears Allison running down the kitchen stairs.
"He's stable, but he is still in critical condition. Um, he has a brain injury that is not good, but it's also affecting his lungs." Henry's voice is soft as she tries to keep the tears back. "I don't know anything else right now. Mom is with him. I have to get us some clothes and get back there." Henry pauses as he looks at his daughters' faces. He is torn between returning to his wife and son as quickly as possible and staying with them longer than planned to ensure they're okay. Stevie takes his pause for what it is, a plea for her to be okay.
"I'll get you clothes," Stevie tells him and heads upstairs.
Henry then pulls Allison into his arms. "You doing okay, Noodle?" He asks.
Allison leans her head against her father's chest. She wants to be strong for her family. But she's worried for her little brother. She and Jason fight all of the time. Lately, it's been the worst it's ever been. She thinks that could have been a clue that something was wrong with him. She tells herself that she didn't do enough. She thinks that maybe they all feel that way. And in a way, that makes her feel better, to know they can all share the guilt.
"Yes. I'm good." She answers. Henry lets out a deep sigh. He has no idea what to say or what to do. But Stevie walks down the stairs, hands him a duffle bag, and places Elizabeth's Xanax bottle in his hand.
"Tell the nerd we love him," Stevie tells her dad. Her voice is quiet.
"I will. I love you both. You can see him tomorrow, okay? It just needs to be your mom and me tonight, okay?" Henry places his hands on his girls' shoulders and kisses them on their foreheads.
"Okay," Stevie tells him. She looks over at her sister. "We're okay."
Henry decides he needs to take care of one more thing before returning to the hospital when he gets back in his car. He doesn't want Elizabeth to break down completely. He understands that he may have to prop her up a little. Maybe she can only give twenty percent, so he must carry at least fifty. It'd be a lie to say he doesn't resent that a little. But he also knows he can't be mad at her for having an anxiety disorder. So he dials Nadine's number, hoping to take one more thing off her plate.
"Nadine Tolliver's Office."
"Hey, Maggie. It's Henry McCord. Can you put me through to Nadine, please?"
"Of course, Dr. McCord." He waits on the line for three minutes.
"Dr. McCord, sorry for the wait. How's Jason?"
"Stable, but not great. Nadine, I need you to care for the State Department without Elizabeth for the next seventy-two hours." Henry states his wife's needs assuredly. He knows that he needs to ensure that Elizabeth can have three days to stay beside Jason and take care of him and care for herself. That will allow her to settle down and regain her capacity to do more than one thing at a time.
"I have it under control. There will be zero contact with the Secretary. I'll handle it with the Deputy Secretary and Russell Jackson."
"Thank you." Henry finds himself doing the breathing exercises Dr. Sherman taught his wife. He needs to keep it together for Seventy-Two hours. And he'll ask Elizabeth to take over so he can fall apart. They can do that. They take turns for each other. For Jason.
…..
Jason can hear his mom. He can hear her crying. He can hear her tell his uncle Will she's a shitty mom. That bothers him. He's felt abandoned. For a long time. But listening to her now, knowing he can't say anything back. He knows she doesn't. He can hear her. It hurts. He hates himself. He hates that he did this to himself. He tries to open his eyes, and he can't. He tries to move his hand, and he can't. So he listens as his mom panics. He listens as his mom tells him how loved he is. He's not sure he believes that right now. How could she still love him, now that she knows?
He hears his dad come into the room. He feels his dad grabs his hand. He listens as his dad calms his mother down. He listens as his dad assures his mom that he will get through this. Jason doesn't believe his dad. He doesn't know how they get through this. He knows he's awake enough to listen, to feel. But he's still so tired. Does he want to keep going? He doesn't know. His eyes won't open. So he stops fighting it. He stops trying to listen. And he sleeps.
…..
Will is the first person to notice Jason's change in vitals. He quietly presses the call button not to frighten the two terrified parents. But he stands reading himself to give his nephew CPR until Jason's medical team can get there. His plan of not sending his sister back into a panic attack does not work when Jason's EKG alarm goes off. Will slaps the code button and begins the chest compressions.
"Don't freak out, Lizzie. It's vtach. It's a shockable rhythm. He'll be okay." Will tries to assure his sister.
Henry pulls his wife close to him. He holds her back against his chest. He holds her tight, trying to keep her nervous system regulated. "Honey. Remember, he has been through a lot today. I'm sure he will be fine. He'll be fine." Henry needs to find out if he's re-assuring her or himself.
Elizabeth studies her brother's face. Will has a distinct lack of worry. That makes her feel better. Having a trauma surgeon for a brother has made her life easier. Whenever the kids were sick or got hurt, Will could reassure her. She believes what he tells her.
"He'll be okay." She whispers. Henry tightens his grip on her even more.
The room fills with doctors and nurses. Will watches the medical team work on his nephew. The medical team defibrillates Jason twice. They get the rhythm back the first time, but it stops almost immediately. The second time, they get the rhythm back, and it stays. Elizabeth's exhale of relief fills the room with another sound. But all Henry can focus on is the steady beeping of the EKG. Henry isn't sure he can take any more hurdles. There's been too many in the last twelve hours. But the EKG is steady. So he stands strong next to his wife. His arm wraps around her, and his thumb caresses her back. There's a prayerful feeling that comes over him. It assures him. They will all be okay. It may take some time to get there. But they will.
