Okay y'all.
So if you reread a couple chapters back, I think 18? I don't remember. I'm too privilieged with my life to just click back a few times in my own documents to confirm... BUT ANYWAY.
Theres a scene that I wrote where Irina finally makes her way to Solstheim.
Just to clarify, I am a slut for slow burnning fanfics but I'm terrible at developing the plot (I mean I've redid this bitch so many times. With a few errors in grammar still in the earlier chapters, just too lazy to redo them) So yeah, there's a scene that essentially ends their little romantic fling. The chapter AFTER this one, will be directly after those events.
I tried to be cool and do some timeskips that would eventually make sense, but my brain is too simple for that. I'm also disgustingly busy, I've had this chapter in my drafts for a hot* minute. The hottest minute, the hottest fucking... HOUR.
I digress.
I'm going to be skipping around the Soul Cairn dialogue because... I am too lazy. So sorry but I'm only here to make these women pine after each other, enjoy each other, lose each other, and then maybe or maybe not get back together. We'll see.
Criticism is appreciated, I understand this chapter isn't the longest but as I said. Life is lifin' rn.
Irina's vision returned to her with a blinding flash of light. As if she were returning to the present moment.
Her head throbbed and ached, and her mouth was dry. The only thing she could register was pain and while that had already turned the woman's senses onto high alert- the hand that grabbed the nape of her neck and forcefully plunged her face-first into the ground, also did the trick.
A muffled grunt escaped Irina, she barely had time to crane her face sideways to avoid breaking her nose or cracking her teeth.
Orange eyes scanned the area and then realization soon hit her.
She was in the middle of battle.
"Come on! You'd best start moving!" Serana shouted into her ear. Her hand released her hold on her neck while she rose to her feet, the woman was battered and bloodied. More than Irina was comfortable seeing on her, and then she soon realized that she was also caked in grime and blood. On instinct, the dovahkiin jumped to her feet and reached for her sword but found it gone from her waist.
"What...? Where is my-" Irina spoke with confusion, she cut herself off at seeing a skeleton run toward her with its battleaxe. The skeleton was pitch black, its bones were covered in a substance that made them shine even in the dim lighting. She narrowly dodged the battleaxe's blade with a duck, the skeleton pivoted on itself and used the momemtum of the missed swing to attack again for the elf's torso.
Irina dropped to her knees with a purposeful fall and maneuvered closer to the undead being. She swung out her leg in a sweeping motion, the skeleton lost its balance and fell. Adrenaline rushed through her body and she wrangled the battleaxe from the skeleton's bony hands.
What is going on!?
With a focused grunt and narrowed eyes, Irina swung the axe through the bony frame, ribs clattered to the floor and the skeleton fell apart in pieces. The dragonborn looked around her and found Serana with the same focus in her eyes. The nord's vision was tunneled and she couldn't be bothered to spare Irina a glance.
Everything was simply moving too fast. Battle, blood, the undead, the soul cairn, her head, Serana, her sword. Irina gripped the battleaxe in her hands and inhaled deeply through her nose, she counted up to three albeit very slowly. Three moments of pause, that's all that she needed. Her eyes were opened and scanning her surroundings, absorbing all that they could.
One...
Serana's mouth had blood spilling freely from her lips, a quick glance to her waist confirmed an injury. Blood pooled around her abdomen. Irina's calm almost broke at seeing her battered state. The woman looked focused and unbothered, she would be fine. For the time being.
Two...
Irina moved her gaze to behind her. Two more black skeletons rising from ground beneath her feet, more enemies. But skeletons weren't the main problem, Irina swallowed a lump in her throat at the most recent memory returning to her. Serana and Irina had already spoken to Valerica, they were tasked with defeating the keepers.
"Where is the...-"
Three.
In the moment Irina had needed and given herself to assess the situation, a massive creature loomed from around the bend of a battered building. The building was made of black stone, and the only thing that contrasted against its blackened bricks were five long bony fingers. The hand alone was the size of Irina's head.
There you are.
The skeletons charged at her, no weapons in sight. She deduced that they used magic. Irina was not surprised to find that she was correct in her assumptions.
The woman avoided a few spells that spoke of fire, exposed areas of her hands were singed but she ignored the pain. The keeper would be upon them soon, and while Irina had gathered just enough of her senses to fight back- she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that she knew why she'd lost them in the first place.
Her axe cut through the undead easily enough, but just as she began to straighten herself, the keeper emerged.
"Irina!" Serana called out to her. The dragonborn looked in her direction with a slight tilt of her head, not wanting to keep her eyes away from the looming creature who approached with a brisk pace. Orange eyes noticed a familiar glint and she made a sound of surprise, Serana found her sword. The daedric beauty.
The pale woman had been making her way to the bosmer. Long strides with her sword strapped securely to her waist. Serana was covering good distance.
Irina had taken her eyes off the keeper for not even two seconds, but that was enough. Irina's sense of time stopped when she heard the familar draw of a bowstring and the sound of an arrow slicing through the air, the dragonborn felt her chest seize and she felt nothing but her own fear. Her eyes widened and her breath hitched when a dragonbone arrow flashed past her field of vision and pierced Serana through the leg. The arrow was off-center, coming out through the other side of her thigh and narrowly missing the bone.
Non-lethal. Thank the divines.
The force broke the nord's stride, so powerful that she stumbled onto the ground. Irina flinched when her head hit a piece of stone that lay all around them, rendering her unconscious. Debris from their previous battles with more wrathmen and keepers. This keeper had been the last one. Serana laid motionless with blood running down her face. She needed tending to, and quickly.
The keeper knocked another arrow, but the creature was too slow for Irina's thu'um.
"IIZ SLEN NUS"
Ice encased the keeper's lower body, all the way up to its torso. The edges of Irina's mouth were tinged with frost and it turned her bronze skin white, she bit down on her jaw with a frustrated grunt, perhaps a bit too much enthusiam with the thu'um. Her lips had gone numb.
Forgetting her discomfort, she analyzed the situation. The keeper was stuck, but only for a short while. Irina did not dare look back to Serana and continued to charge forward. Her first couple of swings were focused and she held the weapon tightly in her hands, her intention to kill the dragonbone armored creature was the only thing on the forefront of her mind, it had to be if she were going to carry Serana back to her mother. The only individual in the Soul Cairn who could heal her.
The keeper lay motionless, encased in ice. She took a little longer than expected to kill the creature. The weapons lack of power was apparent.
Irina let the battleaxe slip from her fingers as she whirled backwards on her heel to run for Serana, the woman lay motionless still. Her muscles ached with every step, she tried to run faster but her fatigued body would not allow it. Such horrible timing! What in reality took ten seconds to run, felt like minutes to the bosmer. Her sense of time was warped, many emotions running through her, muddling her mind.
How did I black out? Does his influence even transcend planes of oblivion, what sort of mage is he?
A cough startled the dovahkiin, she dropped to a knee by the nord and swallowed nervously at the portruding arrow. It was long, the shaft running through her and implying seven inches on one end alone. Irina's sweat dripped down to her eyes and she furiously rubbed away at the salty sensation, more dirt smeared across her face.
"This is by far... the worst pain I've had to endure in centuries." Serana seethed. She attempted to prop herself on her elbows but even that amount of movement elicited a pained grunt. She was damn near immobile, that was not good. The elf's mind sped through many different scenarios, trying to see how she could Serana to her mother. Valerica was a necromancer, surely she would know of healing spells- she was Serana's teacher after all.
Irina blinked into focus and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I could carry you back to the ruins where your mother is. Or, I could leave you here and return with her. She can heal you, I don't... I don't know any spells." she added the last bit with a dejected breath. If she could, she would. However, in this situation the elf was hopeless.
Irina let her statement hang in the air, it would have been much faster for Irina to go off alone and retrieve Valerica but the chances of bonemen returning were high. Serana's survival depended on her own magic skills. Mobility wasn't even a possibility for her. Then again, Irina carrying Serana would slow their rate of return considerably. Either option had major drawbacks.
The nord clicked her tongue, unethusiactically. "Wait... Can't you heal your leg? At least to walk?" Irina asked her.
"It's been a a couple days since I fed, I don't know if I could completely heal the tissue..."
Irina's hand waved in front of her, her rucksack coming into view. Serana paused as she watched the dovahkiin scramble for something inside, the only sounds heard were the eery winds of the Soul Cairn and the shorter woman's rummaging. The nord winced everytime she managed to relax her muscles, when she tried to relax at the hips... it felt as if her legs muscles constricted even more.
"Irina what happened? You lost focus for almost a minute. I assumed the worst." Serana asked with furrowed brows.
Calloused fingers wrapped around a glass bottle, her digits curling around the neck. Her orange eyes peered down at Serana in disbelief while she pulled free the potion of blood, "only you, Serana. Only you would show concern for my well-being when you are injured. Please, drink this." Irina handed her the potion, Serana took it with a silent appreciation and brought the glass to her lips, "I do fret over you, but I was being quite serious. What happened?"
An apprehensive expression painted itself on Irina's features, Serana confused.
"I have much to tell you, I'm sorry for not saying anything before" Irina began, with guilt painted on her expression. "I briefly mentioned him, when we stopped momentarily in Solitude. Did I ever mention a name, Miraak? The false dragonborn." She said with furrowed brows, attempting to clarify. She shouldn't have expected Serana to remember, it was such a brief conversation.
"No, I don't. Who is he?" Serana asked. Her golden eyes had detected the elf's silent dismay and that only spurred deeper confusion.
Irina inhaled deeply and furrowed her brows, already foreseeing the reaction that would come from the nord.
Valerica awaited them expectantly with her arms crossed, she radiated authority.
Serana had her arm around Irina's shoulders and with the help of the sturdier elf, walked to the ruins where her mother was. The nord found herself uneasily eyeing her mother, their conversation prior to the extermination of the Keepers was an emotional one. Both of them, two women, so used to keeping their thoughts and emotions wound up inside them- had finally said what'd been left unspoken for centuries.
Centuries. How long to live with such resentment. It would take just as long to repair their relationship.
The potion worked, Serana had enough strength to limp back. Valerica could do the rest.
As they approached, the older nord looked at her daughter and then to the dragonborn with narrowed eyes, "this is how you would keep my daughter safe?" she asked with a deep edge to her voice. She uncrossed her arms and ushered them inside the ruins, Serana blinked back emotions of anger and bit down on her jaw. She had a reasonable point, but even so.
Irina was unfazed of the comment, knowing that Serana was more than capable of handling her own and knowing full well that it was not Irina's responsibility to take care of a woman who had many years on her. Serana glanced down the dragonborn and muttered, "sorry, she's a... stern woman."
"I didn't say a word. Come, keep upright." Irina responded.
A soft sigh escaped Serana and she simply nodded. Valerica eyed them both over her shoulder, she noticed the way Serana had so easily clung to the hybrid vampire. The familiarity in their closeness. Her brows creased at the gentle expression of the bosmer, Irina. The woman was young, yet her eyes were so aged. The set of her brow and the bags under her eyes told Valerica that the world had left its impression on the bronze-skinned woman.
Serana's armor looked like it had seen better days, Valerica noted.
Irina's armor looked as if it had been put through extensive use.
How was it that the hybrid vampire had so much more to tell? Irina, the bosmer who was dovahkiin. Had the imprint of the world's burdens on her body, yet- there was a glint in her eye. Her soul was fierce, her soul was what kept her going. It had to be. Valerica blinked and then hid a glance at her daughter, a woman with more years than the average vampire.
She was more inexperienced.
That was her own fault. Valerica moved her eyes ahead of her, and touched her fingertips to her chest. There was a dull ache beginning to form in her chest, a ball of regret that had been recently discovered. She was much too ancient to waste tears on her own mistakes, and much too proud.
She would no longer deny them though, and she realized with even more regret- that that alone, her realizing her own mistakes. The absolute bare minimum, would be a monumental stride for their estranged relationship.
I have failed her as a mother. My daughter, Serana.
"Lay her down here, I will begin to heal her...-" Valerica trailed off on her words, the familiar screech of a familiar enemy ringing throughout the Soul Cairn. She set her mouth in a tight line, her eyes narrowing at the sky. Irina swallowed deeply, the sound made the hairs on the back of her neck rise.
The cry of a dragon.
Durnehviir was not as big a threat as Irina had thought.
This would mark the first time that Serana had ever seen Irina victorious against a dragon.
Valerica was impressed with her, for once, not narrowing her eyes at the bosmer.
Irina cracked her neck with a satisfying sigh and proceeded to pop more of her bones. Serana and her mother stared at Irina in awe, the younger nord had a more expressive countenance, her jaw slack and eyes wide. The mother's was more composed, eyes were widened just a tad. Irina's boots made a soft crunching sound against the violet sand beneath her, she slashed her sword against the air to fling the deeply saturated blood off of her blade.
Durnehviir's blood was almost a pitch black and it unsettled Irina immensely. Her eyes went back to the nordic women, during any other time, the dovahkiin would proudly puff her chest and boast of her victory- as a warrior is want to do. However, the battle was over quickly. Durnehviir was not a powerful foe, and Miraak infiltrated her thoughts more than she was comfortable with. Instead, she looked back at Valerica expectantly.
"Forgive my surprise, I thought I would never witness the death of that dragon."
"He was no challenge, I'm sure if you had a fresh supply of blood you would have been able to bring him down. I can only imagine your hunger." Irina said as she sheathed her daedric sword. Serana merely swallowed in silence, truly impressed with the dovahkiin. Sweat and dirt were caked on her armor, the tall-tale signs of fatigue- yet there she was. Striding forward, her brow firmly set and expression serious.
The immensity of her title just now dawned on Serana.
Dovahkiin.
"Serana, how is your leg?" Irina asked her.
"I can walk, better. I'll need a day or two to get my full strength back." She replied with slow, blinking lids. The nord was trying to get her senses in order. The dragonborn's expression softened, if only a little. She fixed her orange eyes onto Valerica who had been supporting her daughter to stand with a shoulder, in her other arm, her hand really- was the elder scroll. "The elder scroll, please." Irina said.
With a deep inhale, the nord handed the scroll to her daughter. "I have my doubts, but... I want to support you in any way I can. Tread carefully, Serana. Your father is past the point of redemption." her mother's warning caused Serana's fingers to twitch slightly, Irina caught this nervousness with her observant eyes but said nothing. Valerica looked back to the wood elf and gave her a firm nod.
"You will keep her safe or die trying." She said.
"Gladly. Aren't you going to return with us? We could use your abilities, your skill in magic is impressive." Irina raised a brow at Valerica, the woman merely shook her head in disagreement.
"Like Serana, I too was offered to Molag Bal. That also makes me a Daughter of Coldharbour, my return to Tamriel would only increase the likelihood of the prophecy coming to fruition... and not just that, if I return- Harkon is likely to sense my presence." She explained. Serana gripped the elder scroll tightly in her hands and untangled herself from her mothers shoulder. She was unsually quiet in this.
Irina blinked in confusion "how would he sense-" but she immediately stopped herself. She was right. Her presence would be detected, just as when Irina first slayed a dragon and absorbed its soul- the greybeards called out to her. She didn't understand magic, or its properties, but she knew one thing for certain.
Valerica was powerful, and so was Harkon. He would recognize her power, surely.
As Serana made to stand by her side, the bosmer nodded once again to her mother.
"When he is dead, we will come back for you."
The steps leading back to Tamriel felt unstable under their feet, fatigue finally settling into their bodies. Serana continued to hold the scroll in her hands with her head downcast, her grip on the artifact was tight. Her whitened knuckles were testament to that. Their footsteps were slow and sluggish, and every step upwards was just another step closer to a responsibility that made the both of them want to lay down and die.
Solstheim, for Irina.
Harkon, for Serana.
They were not ready to face either, not in this moment. Irina reached forward and grabbed Serana's wrist, golden eyes moved over to her with tired confusion. They were quite a ways up the steps already, as Serana turned around to face the elf she could see the Soul Cairn's landscape with better altitude.
"Irina?" the nord asked.
"Before we return, how are you? What are you feeling?" her eyes were bunched together in worry. Serana relaxed but gently pried her hand off and shrugged her shoulders, almost pathetically. The dragonborn did not like seeing this side of her, something about it was... so unlike what she'd seen before.
"I had wanted to say all that... for so long now. Honestly, it took me up until now to see that my mother was just as bad as... him. It's definitely been a bad feeling, on the whole. But also relieving, she's stubborn but I can see how she's putting that aside for me."
"Yes, while we are gone I imagine she will self-reflect on many things from the past. It's the first step to forgiveness and progress." Irina said with a gentle tone. There was a feeling in her chest, something similar to a knot, at seeing Serana's lower lip quivering. The woman could see that the nord was used to crying silently.
"How do you know this?" Serana asked with crack to her usually smooth voice. Tears pooled in her eyes but she blinked them away, Irina was uncomfortable at how easily the nord could put aside her own emotions. Just how much suffering did she have inside of her? An exponential amount surely.
The fact that I'm seeing this, is proof, that I can completely trust her to go against Harkon. She cries at the inevitability of it all, and her prolonged suffering.
"If you live with hate or sadness, that's all you ever see and experience. Valerica is most likely weeping as you are now. Emotions are finally being embraced, and it will be the darkest and ugliest feelings you will experience. But if you accept them, they will pass." she said gently.
"How do you know this?" Serana asked again with a firmer voice, yet still gentle.
"I may not relate entirely to the situation, Serana. But I am an orphan, and so I understand why you cry silently. I can understand the hopelessness you must have surely felt as a child, and even as a woman" Irina began with a deep sigh, she'd never said this to anyone before. It felt strangely intimate. Not even Lydia knew this complexity about her "and hate and depression grew inside of me because I didn't want to see anything else, I refused. However, I never had anyone try for me. Not then."
Serana wiped her eyes with her arm, one swipe was all it took for the tears to vanish but her eyes were damp and the mixture of fatigue and stressed facial muscles developed trenches underneath her eyes. Serana looked so weary.
"If I had met you sooner, I think I might have." Serana said.
Irina let out a chuckle, it sounded more like a breath and she shook her head, "Serana I was but a child then, you forget how much you are my senior."
"Different circumstances, sure. I would not have loved you romantically, but I would show you love." she said.
Irina was both touched and flustered. She regained her bearings and shook her head, "your words are beautiful, but I wouldn't want that. What you've been giving me now, has fulfilled me more than you could imagine. If I were a mortal, if my heart would beat again- it would race around you. You've made me experience emotions I haven't had the oppurtunity to feel before."
As she spoke, she reached forward again and held Serana's hand. Irina's other hand went to the nord's chest, laying her palm against exposed pale skin. Serana's face flushed from her neck to her ears, bright red, eyes wide. For a long, silent moment, the nord was stunned. Irina looked up at her and tilted her head to the side, a gentle smile gracing her lips.
"Was my confession too much?" She asked half-teasingly, half-nervous.
She should not be nervous, but she was. Serana had already confessed her feelings so the love was reciprocated, but... while her words were beautiful and Serana could not have been more elated, despite the initial topic that led them to this... She needed to hear the words for herself. The nord swallowed deeply and hooked her arm around Irina's waist, bringing her closer.
"Say it, please, you must." she insisted. Serana was almost afraid, perhaps too much blood loss had caused her to hallucinate? Did Irina really just-?
"I love you, Serana."
Oh, but she just did.
Irina had barely enough time to get all the words out. The nord had kissed her so quickly. A surprised sound left the bosmer while the nord took her lips within her own, there was a possesive and needy yearning from Serana. One that made Irina weak in the knees. The kiss was chaste because of how short-lived and sudden it was, but before she pulled back, Serana tugged at Irina's bottom lip with her fangs giving her a light nip.
The nord rested her forehead against the elf's and Irina was shocked to find a rogue tear rolling down her cheek. Almost immediately, the woman noticed and fanned her face with her free hand. "I'm sorry, I just... so many emotions are flowing through me now. I... You have the worst possible timing, Irina. The absolute worst."
How was it that someone could look so happy and sad at the same time? Irina held the woman close, for a while. So they could return to Tamriel with some dignity.
Irina felt a tug in her chest, Serana was right. Irina did have the worst possible timing. She may have confessed to Serana, but... only as compensation for what was to come next. She did love her, the feelings bloomed quickly. However, the timing had to be now for this confession.
She was to set for Sosltheim, without Serana.
How could she ask the woman she loves to embark on a dangerous journey with her? Together they were strong, but if she fell to Miraak? Irina would lose something so beautiful and new, it would be earth-shattering. No, she would not have that. Serana would be safe in Skyrim, her father would not pose a threat.
The two of them had each of the elder scrolls he was searching for.
The vampire crisis is at a stand-still. It was now time to deal with the other dragonborn.
