The first week was absolute torment. Jessica's dream of having a house harem had become an ultimate tease house. She almost never went out of the house unless it was for food. "You have to think in one-day increments, not weeks or months," Po explained.
"UGH! How the hell did you do this with me around?"
"Honestly, you didn't really make it that hard."
"Why?"
"You were either on the streets or in your room at night. That leaves an entire morning and afternoon to myself," Po pointed out. Jessica plopped her face on the kitchen table.
"I fucking hate this," she groaned against the wooden table.
"Why don't you use the frustration to do other things?"
"Like what?"
"What have you always wanted to do in the past?" Bao spoke up.
Jessica shrugged. "Be able to have a baby?"
"And now you do. What else?"
"I don't know! I keep telling you guys, I don't know. I'm not... I'm not as complex as you two. I don't have things to fall back on."
Po tapped his finger to his chin in thought. He looked back and forth at the kitchen ceiling until an idea came to him. "Why don't you get to know your girls more?"
"Isn't that a temptation?" Bao asked.
"Not really. And it helps you get to know them on a personal level deeper than just sex."
"I'm not really good with small talk."
"Then do big talk," Po snarked. Jessica side-glared him. "Jessica, you're not gonna get anywhere if you don't go anywhere."
"But I have nothing other than a large dick to bring to a convo. What the hell am I supposed to even say?"
"Maybe we can work on that," Bao smiled. "I mean, wasn't there some stuff that you used to like doing back as a kid?"
"Yeah! Your guitar! You used to love playing that thing!" Po said. "Why did you give it up?"
Jessica scratched the back of her head. "I uh... started having sex with my guitar teacher?"
"Oh meus Deus," Po sighed, plopping his head into his hand. "Esta cachorra boba"
Jessica's head popped up. "Since when have you learned Spanish?"
"Portuguese, and since the Brazilian girls have been here."
"Oh my gods, how do you do this!" Jessica exclaimed. "How do you get better at everything?! How do you figure out everything?! How do you heal from literally everything that life throws at you! How do you have better sex than me?! How-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Po stopped her. "Is that why you're doing this? To try and have better sex?"
"YES! NO! I DON'T KNOW!" Jessica howled. "I need a shrink."
"Well, I'm definitely not calling Tai-Lung."
"Absolutely not," Jessica growled.
"Ooohh I get it," Bao spoke up again. "You're trying to find something different and deeper than the sex you've been having. Because you saw Po and Tigress fucking like rabid dogs... pardon the pun... you saw something more. You saw two people completely naked, metaphorically speaking, and connecting in a way that was as unique as it was arousing. And you're trying to figure out if you can get that 'more' from not having sex for a while."
"YES! Finally gods someone put it into words!" Jessica groaned. "Now, what is it?"
"What is what?" Po asked.
"That thing I'm looking for."
"Jessica," Bao said slowly, "That's... love." Jessica blinked with a dumbfounded look on her face.
"But I love my girls. Right?" She looked at Po. The panda tried his best to keep a neutral face, but he shut his eyes and sighed. "Po, give it to me straight. What am I doing wrong?" Po turned away. "Po please."
"I... I can't... it's... I don't want you to be in this much pain," Po replied.
Jessica's heart sank. "Am I that... bad?"
"No, not... in the way you're thinking," Po turned around and faced her. "Jessica, out of the bunnies that are your girls, how many of them do you think you know the name of?" Jessica's eyes widened and she couldn't answer the question. "What about the kittens? Do you know any of their names? What about the black cat one?"
"Oh! That's uh... uh... umm..." Her hopes dipped with her rising fears.
"We're not saying you're a bad person. But you do tend to neglect them."
"Wait, wait, but I protect them. I make sure they're safe and well-fed and-"
"If I brought you money, clothes, and girls, but I never came to visit you, how would you feel?" Po asked. That took Jessica for a whole loop. To imagine Po, her step-brother and closest friend, gone and nowhere around her. The person who helped her get out of an abusive relationship. The person who helped her heal and even offered so much of himself to her. The person who was even now with her going through this abstinence period.
Trying to rewrite everything that they had been through and figuring out how she would turn out was something she couldn't imagine. To have that person suddenly become a distant figure as she had feared when going through the whole dominance/submissive thing? That hurt.
She shivered at the thought.
But her eyes snapped open. It finally dawned on her.
"I...I've become my ex."
"No, no, no-"
"Yes I have!" Jessica stormed up. "I've only given people treats and gifts while I just neglect them. I'm just as bad as my ex!"
"Jessica, it's not-"
"Oh my gods," Jessica cried, racing to her room in tears. Po shot up from his chair but got stopped by Bao.
"Let me."
"What? No, she's my sister."
"But let me do this one," Bao said.
"Why?"
"Because I want to get to know her, too," Bao said. Po tilted his head. "You can't always be the shoulder that she cries on. Let me try. Please." Her left eye covered by her purple hair only made her visible eye all the more soul-punching. Po pursed his lips.
"I... I can't just let her be in pain."
"I know you care about her like a brother. I get it. But you can't be the comforter for everyone. Please, let me try."
Po sighed and sat back down, watching Bao walk away to Jessica's room. She lightly knocked on the door. "Go away, Po."
"It's me... Bao."
"Then go away, Bao. I don't want to talk."
"Good, because I want to talk to you."
"That's the same thing."
"No it isn't. Talking is two-sided. I just want you to listen."
"To what? The fact that I'm a terrible person. The fact that I'm just like that fucking dirtwad that died in prison."
"No, the fact that you saved me."
There was silence in the room. Then a small shuffling followed by the cranking of the doorknob. Jessica's blue eyes were red from stinging tears. Her muzzle, still sniffling, poked out the small crack of the door. "Saved you... how?"
"Can I come inside?" Bao asked. The door swung open. Bao gingerly stepped inside while Jessica sat on the ground, her back propped up by the side of the bed. Bao sat next to her.
"How... did I save you?"
"By... giving me a home," Bao sighed. "Even though I'm smart, people still wailed on me because I was a fat panda. From high school all the way up to college though, something different happened. I started to actually look nice to people. But women would constantly mean-mug me because they thought I would steal their men, and the men that did get interested in me only considered me a fat fuck and never wanted to be around me. So I started being one way with girls and another way with men. Hehe, you don't know how many orgasms I faked. Not even the horses really helped because I never felt like I was home. I never felt like I could be me. I... I wanted to be free and reckless and try new things. When I became a scientist, it was a taste, but I wanted to feel special to someone. Or at least be in a house where I was special," She shut her eyes. "I was all alone. Every time I opened myself up to anyone, they'd just attack me or pull away. I didn't feel like I was welcomed anywhere."
"How am I any different?" Jessica wondered more than self-deprecated.
"You didn't care." Bao said. The husky's frown grew broader. "I mean, you didn't care what I was or who I was. I was just someone who was sexy to you and you decided to let me come home and be home with other people who could be themselves. And with Po in the mix, that's even better. When I first met you, I thought that I just found someone who only liked me because of the way I presented myself. But then I noticed you didn't care how slutty or out there I was, as long as it didn't harm you. I could really be who I wanted around you." Bao smiled a bit as water steeped in several years of abandonment came down her face. "And now, I feel like I'm home."
Jessica's eyes widened for a moment. "Wait, when Po and you guys had that birthday gift, you told Po you felt like you were home. Was that it?" Bao nodded.
"Ever since my parents put me out when I was five, I've jumped from orphanage to orphanage." More tears trickled down her face as she gave a sad shaky smile to the husky. "At least I'm home here. Among the other forgotten trash." Her tear-filled eyes closed but her smile bravely widened. "At least you like me."
Suddenly, Jessica wrapped her arms tightly around Bao, rubbing her back. "You're not trash, Bao. You're not."
"But why... why am I not... liked anywhere else but... here? I... I just-"
"Shh shhh shhh. You're home, sweety," Jessica comforted, shedding tears of her own. "You're home."
The next week passed by quite fast. Faster than Jessica registered. She mostly talked with the other girls, who were told of Jessica's abstinence. "Was I really that bad?" Jessica asked Emma one time at the bar. The black cat simply sipped her cup.
"For me, it wasn't the neglect. I get that you had other conquests," Emma smirked. Jessica didn't. The black cat simply sighed. "I mean... I just wanted someone who was... there. Being with you helped a bit, but only so much. It... kinda sucks waking up to an empty bed."
"Is that why you married the wolf? Damian was it?" Jessica asked. Emma shrugged.
I know, and we all know, you have a good heart just like Po's."
"Hehe, I'm not sure anyone has that good of a heart," Jessica smiled a bit.
"It's just," Emma continued, "We know what we are to you." Jessica sighed. It didn't need to be said.
"I have too much sex," Jessica muttered.
"You don't... actually you do, but that's not the issue," Po said at a different time when they were in the kitchen. The panda expertly cut up the cucumbers before adding them to the pot. "The issue is that you kinda suck at it when it comes to just being with someone."
"Thanks Po. I feel much better," Jessica grumbled. She reached up to the stainless steel cabinet for a bottle of vodka, but Po swatted her hand away. "HEY!"
"No, I'm not letting you drown out your sorrows. Besides, you can't look at this like an unsolvable problem."
"What would you do?" Jessica huffed.
Po shrugged, "If I were in your shoes, I'd probably just spend time talking with my girls. No sex, no small talk. Just an honest heart-to-heart with some of them. Who knows? Maybe in the time you do that you'll find something else you're passionate about except sex."
And that was Jessica's mission. She started with Bao obviously, getting to know her more in detail. Her parents had thrown her out because they couldn't afford her and she turned to science because it was a nice way to explore her curiosity. It was also around that time that Jessica actually figured out that they had a laboratory in the mansion. "How long has this been here?!"
"You really need to get out more," Po would laugh. Jessica also learned what Bao meant by being out there. She was just more sexually deviant and wanted it. Some people could be turned off by that. It made her wonder about Po before he became the stud he was. "No," He'd answer flatly.
"No?" Jessica tilted her head to the side. "It didn't bother you at all that I was practically dry-humping you?"
"Oh no it did, but it wasn't a turn-off," Po smirked. The husky rolled her eyes, hiding her smirk. "I was still coming to grips with the fact I liked my step-sister. I didn't want it to be a bad trope."
"And yet, here we are," Jessica smiled. The panda just laughed.
By the next week, Jessica had begun to talk to Tigress a bit more, but for another reason. She had figured out that Bao, Po, and Tigress wanted her to do the wifey experience precisely because of her neglect. Instead of abolishing the idea, Jessica proposed another one. "Let me get this straight," Tigress started. "It's an all-girls' place where they can learn whatever they want? You're making a college."
"Kind of. I'm putting my money to good use. For once."
"I don't know," Tigress shrugged, cupping her ass in the loose sweatpants she had. "I think I like the Brazilian booty-busting classes I've gotten. And I know some of the femboys have gone through their full transition."
"I... guess," Jessica grumbled, shaking her head and rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Just please don't do that, kitten. I'm already having a tough time."
"Sorry, I forgot," Tigress said.
"But I also want the school to function as a shrink's place. Somewhere where women specifically from the streets can have the space to work out their problems."
Tigress stood silent for a moment before nodding, "A college for women could do that in one fell swoop. Kill two birds with one stone. Who are you talking to about plans and finances?"
"You?"
"I shouldn't be the only person involved."
"You're not. I'm asking some of Po's friends from his animation place on helping women to come in, too."
"So what's my job?" Tigress asked.
Jessica smiled, "Your job is to help me remember the stuff I forgot in business school."
"How did you graduate?"
"I fucked busty nerds to help me."
Tigress shook her head with a smile. "Of course. I'll see what I can do."
The next week got really really weird. As plans for her college for women were underway, Po began noticing something weird. "What are you doing with that Rubix cube?" Po asked.
"Shh!" She hushed, looking at a video. "I've always wanted to try and figure out these things." Po shook his head but still smiled. At least she was getting better.
Music returned to Jessica's life, too. Though she cursed the number of aches her fingers were in, she couldn't deny the joy it was to have it back. "Wow. It really does help."
"What do you mean?" Po asked.
"Just... trying different stuff. I mean, I just never really thought about doing some of the stuff that I like."
"Why?"
"Because I... I don't know. I thought what could be better than having sex?" Jessica said.
"Having a life?" Po smirked. The husky threw a throw pillow at the laughing panda. "But seriously. I'm glad you're going through this."
"It's hard. And... gods this fucking flatline is messing with my brain," Jessica muttered.
"Hehe, yeah that will throw you for a tizzy."
Jessica scoffed playfully. "A tizzy?"
"Just go with it," Po said, waving the issue away, "But I am glad you're at least enjoying it now."
"I am," Jessica smiled, wrapping her arms around Po's neck. "And I'm grateful that I have you and Bao around. Thanks for everything."
"We're siblings," Po smiled. "That's what we do." Jessica pecked Po on the cheek. The panda glanced down at the husky's skirt. It made a small throb underneath, but nothing noticeable yet. "I'm surprised you're dealing with the urges so well."
"Actually, with the amount of bullshit I've been through, I haven't had the time to even think about it. And then there's this flatline where I just don't give a fuck," Jessica grumbled. "How long does this last?"
"Mostly a week. Although it normally comes because of too much porn or masturbating, not regular sex."
"Too much of anything will kill I guess."
"Something like that," Po smiled. The panda stretched his arms across the sofa and shut his eyes a bit. Jessica scanned the panda's rippling torso and faintly shredded arms, gulping down her water.
"Um... Po, could you... put on a shirt?"
The panda popped open an eye. "Why?"
"It's just," The husky blushed. "Ever since this whole thing, people have become... hotter."
"Oh?"
Jessica gulped. That 'Oh' had more seductive mischief in it than the law allowed. It didn't help that his voice had deepened a bit. Po leaned toward her with a wide smirk. "Then perhaps I should keep you warm."
"Meanie."
"I'm surprised. I thought the muscle-bound guys didn't attract you."
"No," Jessica said dryly. "They um... don't. Just uhhh."
"Uh huh?"
"You look a lot like um..." Her face got even redder when she realized what she was going to say. "Never mind! I need to go." She shot off the sofa and headed for the door.
"You mean I look like the panda porn you have in your secret file?" Po smirked. The fur on Jessica's spine went up. She spun around, glaring hard. "Uh Oh."
"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"
"Uhhh I needed your computer?" Po nervously chuckled. The husky groaned, facepalming herself. "What's the big deal? You know about my crush on you when we were little."
"But this is different," Jessica sighed. "Don't you think it's weird that I... have porn about guys like you and girls like Bao?" Po stared straight-faced, blinking. "Yeah, I realize how backwards that sounds coming from me. But still!"
"Jessica," Po smiled, massaging her shoulders. "You worry too much. Relax. You're becoming too self-conscious."
"It's not like I have a choice," Jessica sighed. "I've had to face all my mistakes this month. I don't know how I would've made it without you guys."
The large panda smiled. "That's what family does. Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you."
"No, I will not give you my panda porn stash."
"Ouch but no," Po muttered. "I... you keep talking about yourself and him like you two are the same. I think there's a part of this whole thing that you need to look into."
"What?"
"A therapist. Not Tai-Lung," Po said. "Just someone who you can talk to more openly about this. And someone who can help you."
"I... I don't know."
"I can get Zhali."
Jessica narrowed her eyes. "That futa tiger you banged? No, I'm good."
"One, props for remembering her name."
"I've gotten better."
"Two, why?"
The husky sighed, "I...I don't want to be tempted. If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this for what it is. Healing, or whatever you call it."
"Good. Hmmm. Actually, Tai-Lung recommended me to a therapist that is very good. He actually helped Bao with some of her trouble. I'll take you to him."
Jessica felt as if she blinked and the two were already at the therapist's place. It was a small quaint place, almost built like a cozy studio apartment. "Doc? Are you here?" Po called. Jessica tentatively stepped inside. The kitchen by her left, a play area for kids by her right and cozy couches in the center while a hallway led down to who knows where. Art ranging from skilled experts to kids decorated the walls. "Doc?"
"Coming, Po. I'm coming," Said a warm seasoned voice that didn't sound at all like Jessica had pictured. Out from a bathroom, cleaning his wings, was a short smiling gray feathered duck with whitish feathers on his head. "Ah! You must be Jessica Love, daughter of Rebecca and Ava Love."
Jessica furrowed her forehead. "How do you know me?"
"I take the time to know my patients. Please come, come sit. Did you want Po to be a part of this?"
"Can he?"
"He can, but you'll begin to use him as a crutch rather than a support." The duck seemed to be very direct and very knowledgeable, something that Jessica couldn't help but get a little annoyed at. It's like someone reading you like an open book and sharing with the world. "It's your choice," the duck said.
"Why don't you just take five minutes with him," Po whispered. "And I'll come in and see how you like him."
"Who is he anyway?" Jessica asked.
"Ah! Where are my manners?" The duck said, finally offering his wing for her to shake. "My name is Gozin. Dr. Gozin." Jessica gently shook his wing and watched as the panda walked out. Her ears drooped as her tail fell to the ground. "Now, come and sit. Don't worry, Po will be right outside if anything goes wrong."
"Will anything go wrong?"
"It depends entirely on what you want to accomplish." The duck sat down in a large chair and took a pen and paper. "And what do you want to accomplish here, Ms. Love?"
"Just... Jessica. I don't like hearing my full name."
"Why?"
"It usually meant I was in trouble back in school," Jessica chuckled.
"What was that like?"
"Different. I mean, it's not my fault I had to bust open someone's balls because they were bullying Po," Jessica cringed a bit. "Sorry, that was-"
"Don't worry about language or proper etiquette, Jessica," Gozin smiled warmly, "I've seen worse. Now, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"
"I... I don't even know where to begin."
Dr. Gozin smiled. He grabbed a large roll of what looked to be writing paper in scroll form. He gave it to her. "Well, if my experience is good for anything, I always liked beginnings. They're usually where people think the end is."
"Whoa, did Po get his deep philosophical stuff from you?"
"Haha, no, no. I'm pretty sure you have Mr. Tai-Lung for that," Dr. Gozin laughed. "Now, I want you to start at your beginning."
"When I was a kid?"
"Sure. I want you to spend the next time or week, writing your story as honestly and as truthfully as possible."
Jessica looked at the roll of paper as an egg of worry and fear twisted her stomach. "And don't worry about writing the bad parts." Dr. Gozin said, "If you come to a part where you don't feel comfortable with, make a little note, rip the paper off the scroll, and start right after that terrible event. You think you can do that?"
"I'm not really a good writer."
"Can you be a good enough writer for yourself?"
"Uhhh... I guess," Jessica stuttered.
"Good," Dr. Gozin smiled. He stood up, walked over to the door, and opened it just as Po was about to knock on it. "Well, I think our five minutes are up."
"Oh uhh... yeah," Po stumbled. Jessica silently got up and walked over to the door. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything is existing," Dr. Gozin smiled. "Whether they are okay or not is for us to accept or reject."
"Uhhhh ummm," Po's face twisted in a knot trying to figure out what he said.
"Jessica will be okay. We just went over her assignment for when she comes tomorrow."
"Wait, wait, wait, I'm supposed to write my life story in a day! How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Jessica exclaimed.
"Not in a day," Gozin smiled. "But take today to start getting over the fear you'll have in writing about yourself. That usually takes an entire day."
"But... I thought shrinks...uh... therapists," Jessica corrected. "Were supposed to fix the problem or something."
"I am helping you fix your own problem. I can't walk the way you're walking. But the first thing I saw when you came in here was that you don't like talking about yourself in a realistic light," Dr. Gozin replied. "Other than when it's about sex."
"Wait, you could figure that out from just looking at her?" Po asked.
"I'm very... observant," the duck smiled. "Just take time to start. See where you get." Before she could even coherently finish a sentence, the door was closed, leaving a confused panda and husky standing outside.
"He's crazy," Jessica muttered as they made their way home.
"He is a duck."
"Then he's a quack," The husky grunted.
"Doesn't hurt to try. And you've been trying everything recently. Might as well try this," Po said. "Besides, this way you get to control what he sees. Isn't that what you're all about? Being in control?"
"I was," Jessica mumbled. They didn't say another word all the way to the mansion. Jessica stormed to her room and plopped the big scroll onto her bed. "Big waste of time." She muttered. She turned to head out but stopped.
She looked back at the scroll. Was it so crazy? She controlled what everyone saw. The duck didn't have to know anything that was crazy or depressing.
That and currently she didn't have anything better to do, so that was a big factor. "UGGGHH fuck it. Fine!" And so Jessica Love, the futa husky, started writing about her own life.
