Half way mark yay! Imo the best parts of this story happen in the second half ;)
Enjoy!
The Long Way Home
Part 13
Breaking
Chapter 1/2
Sasuke was finding it a little difficult to get going this morning. The day after his fight with Naruto, he had pushed himself to cover a lot of ground walking well into the night and was still tired and groggy this morning because of it.
Not that he was trying to catch up to Naruto, far from it. He was just reveling in the fact that he didn't have to keep pace with the fool anymore. Not that walking long distances was ever an issue for Naruto most of the time, but Naruto was also happy just to walk, his destination never really being a main focus except for the end result of getting home. Sasuke however was dreaming of a soft bed and a warm bath after his aggravating week and wasn't going to slow down for anything.
Well, maybe for another hour of sleep perhaps.
But Sasuke didn't give in to his tiredness. He pushed himself up and started packing his things away before he had a chance to close his eyes again. After that was done he spent a few moments looking around camp to make sure the dobe hadn't left anything behind...
Sasuke frowned, deeply annoyed at himself. He really shouldn't let his mind wander so much. He kept doing things that had been a part of his daily routine for the last two months and he was getting irritated how many of those things apparently related to Naruto.
But whatever, it was just a glitch. Soon enough he'd get used to being on his own again and he wouldn't feel so irritated about it all.
And Naruto was irritating. He talked a lot, he made stupid jokes and he snored. Oh how he snored. Since he'd been sleeping of a night time again and not wandering off to meditate Sasuke had been forced to get used to the sound again. It made him wonder how he hadn't noticed Naruto hadn't been sleeping through the night before. But he hadn't and now that Naruto's sleeping patterns were back to normal he seemed more aware of the noise just like when they had first started travelling together.
So what he'd found now was that when Naruto had snored Sasuke couldn't hear the world in the forest which was surprisingly noisy anyway. The sounds of bats overhead, the cries of the local nocturnal insects, all of it turned out to be incredibly loud. Without Naruto's snoring to cover up the sounds, the night time wilderness had kept him awake more than Naruto snore ever could and more than it ever had before.
Strangely the snore had been preferable.
Sasuke shook his head to clear it and started off toward the road. Whatever, there was no way he was going to get dragged down into this again. He'd gone back for Naruto once back in Adessa partially out of loneliness and sure, even a little guilt, but he did not feel guilty about their fight.
No way.
Guilt meant that he had somehow done the wrong thing and as far as he could see it, he had not in any way done anything other than tell the truth as he had always seen it. He supposed it shouldn't have surprised him that Naruto had gotten so worked up about it though.
Naruto had always wanted more from him than he was willing to give so even though Sasuke had told him on multiple occasions that they weren't friends, he should have known that Naruto would keep hoping for that closeness he'd always wanted and never really believed what Sasuke actually told him to his face.
And if Sasuke hadn't given him hope that night by suggesting there might be a friendship to be had, Naruto wouldn't have gotten his hopes up only to have them crushed the next day. If that hadn't happened, no doubt Naruto would not have reacted the way he had.
So initially he'd blamed his high for the glitch in the dynamic. Under its influence he'd told Naruto that he didn't know what they were to each other if they weren't friends.
Not even Sasuke had really known what he'd meant by that, it was entirely possible he'd just been trying to get Naruto to join in on the fun at the time but he could see how it might have been confusing. But still, confusing or not, Naruto had as usual read into it too much, hoping to the find meaning behind the words that just wasn't really there.
So now he mainly blamed Naruto.
Well whatever, if Naruto wanted to act like a petulant child then so be it. It wasn't Sasuke's job to make him feel better and it wasn't even his job anymore to look after him either. No, all Sasuke had to do now was look after himself, and why not, he'd been doing it for almost as long as he could remember anyway.
Sasuke traveled until dusk that day before camping for the night. It was what he'd gotten used to doing anyway and he didn't feel like having another lethargic morning just so he could cover more ground.
He'd find a town when he found one and a couple more hours of walking a day wasn't going to make a lot of difference in the end. Besides, he liked his usual routine and felt better knowing he was going to get more sleep tonight.
He'd come across the odd traveler on the road but had steadfastly ignored each one of them. It wasn't as though he wasn't keen to know if and when he might run into a town but he was even keener not to have to deal with other people. He'd either find a town or not, knowing about how soon was only a minor help as far as he was concerned.
Talking to people had been Naruto's forte anyway and Sasuke refused to believe it was all that much of a help to begin with and so figured he was better of without it anyway.
And Naruto too.
Sasuke sat by the river and rummaged around in his bag for some food. There wasn't a lot to search for to be honest. They'd eaten most of the food they'd bought in the last town even before Sasuke had started feeling sick and had been living off fish mostly since.
He supposed he could try fishing, I mean how hard could it be if Naruto had mastered it in an afternoon? But not tonight, he was too tired and he knew that he still had a few hard biscuits left in his bag somewhere.
Before he found them though his fingers closed around a little soft pouch and he drew it out carefully and stared at it for a little while before tipping some of the contents out into his palm. Three little red berries sat there innocently as though there were an innocuous as the grass by his feet. But Sasuke knew better.
Okay so, he allowed he'd have to have been completely out of it to even try these things in the first place but not all of the effects had been bad ones when he'd thought back on it. He had been suffering and in pain before eating these things and eating them had negated that pain almost entirely.
And besides, he'd had fistfuls of the berries to make him too high to understand common sense and since then Sasuke had learnt that only having one or two didn't have as intense a reaction.
It had probably been stupid to even attempt to eat them again but even after sobering up from the first berry high, the next day he had gone back to feeling a little dizzy and nauseous again. So thinking that the berries had only covered the first sickness rather than cured it, something he might well still be suffering from, he'd experimented when he'd come across the familiar little berries last night.
But he'd been cautious this time, he'd only eaten one and it had been enough to make him feel better. Sure it had made his head a little fuzzy but he was still in control of himself and the sensation hadn't been entirely unpleasant either. Actually it had muted all his senses just enough to actually get some sleep and not think about what familiar noises were missing from the night.
So the next morning before heading out he'd filled the little pouch with as many berries as it could carry just in case the symptoms came back but so far, apart from feeling a little tired, he felt mostly fine.
Strangely he felt a little regretful about that. Had he wanted to feel ill just to give himself an excuse to have another one? He didn't see why. What would be the point of taking it? Did he really just need to give his brain a time out that badly? After a few careful moments of thought he realised that yes, he did want an excuse to stop thinking for a little while and just chill out. And this was precisely why he palmed the berries back into the pouch and put them back into his bag.
Of course this didn't mean that he wouldn't dry a few out when he got the chance so he could have them ready when he needed. I mean who knew if the withdrawal symptoms were gone for good or not? He'd rather be a little blissed out than curled up in pain.
A voice in the back of his mind told him it was a bad idea to keep them though and it sounded a lot like Naruto. But that only made him more determined not to listen to it.
As Sasuke walked along the road a few days later he found himself wondering how long the days seemed to last. Walking for eight or more hours had never seemed so incredibly dull before now and he'd never been so aware of how much time it took to get anywhere.
The scenery was pretty in some places but there was really only so many trees and fields you could look at before you started to crave something to take your mind off the constant drudgery of just simply walking along.
Times past he'd just get lost in his own thoughts but that was something he was trying to avoid these days. Mainly because of the other reason he hadn't felt this bored with traveling before.
Fucking Naruto. If Naruto got bored he talked or hummed or any other number of irritating things. And irritating it may well have been, but I wasn't exactly boring either. Sasuke had come to realise that traveling on your own was boring and having another person with you, no matter the person was better company than none. And he told himself this for a full hour before even he realised how full of shit that sounded.
There were few people he could have endured being around for such long stretches of time. Okay, there was really only one, if he had to be completely honest about it. And yes, Naruto did alleviate that boredom in annoying ways but he still managed to do it.
Plus he didn't seem to really care that Sasuke hardly listened to him when he spoke or glared at him when he started to hum because that was all part of the game. Naruto knew it annoyed him and did it anyway but knew enough to stop before Sasuke became really annoyed at him.
It was strange how much Naruto had come to understand about him. Naruto was getting an uncanny understanding of what Sasuke's limits were and Sasuke in turn had learnt... What? How to crush him so deeply that he'd run away from him? Well yes, actually. He had known instinctively what to say to really get to Naruto and had knowingly gone ahead and said it.
And usually this made Naruto grumpy and sullen and silent for a little while which Sasuke had actually wanted at the time. But he hadn't expected to piss him off to the point of actually leaving.
And fine, by now he was starting to regret it a little bit. Naruto should not have acted the way he did, that wasn't the point of the discussion. The point had been to get them back into normalcy and for Naruto to forget about this friendship stuff.
So in retrospect perhaps Sasuke hadn't been the one doing the most learning whilst they were together. But Sasuke hadn't had much of an interest in understanding Naruto so that was hardly surprising to him. Here he'd thought he'd had Naruto all figured out when all he'd really done was learn how to really make him livid. Well great, as if he hadn't been able to do that before.
So maybe Naruto had been learning to deal with Sasuke more than Sasuke had been willing to do the same. He still didn't feel bad about that. But he was starting to wonder if making his point had been entirely worth it in the end.
It had now been one week since being left on his own and two weeks without a town. An entire two weeks since Sasuke had been able to have a warm bath and sleep on a proper bed. He hated it.
Not that he didn't understand the necessity of having to go without sometimes, but always when he'd spent too long away from a town, he'd come back to civilization and revel in the comfortable benefits for a night or two. And two weeks was way too long to go without for Sasuke's tastes.
Besides he had the uncomfortable feeling that he'd missed something. This country wasn't exactly lousy with civilisation but he'd never gone so long without finding at least something. And besides, although he did want to find a comfortable bed soon, he had the rather more pressing concern of food.
Naruto had told Sasuke before that Sasuke was the better hunter of the two and Sasuke couldn't disagree. But there was still nothing to really hunt out here so his skills weren't really helping him at this point. Apparently most of the meat in Arrei was farmed, Sasuke had seen a few farms in his travels, and wild game just didn't seem to be on the menu. Needless to say he wasn't eager to test out any more flora in the area and because he had ignored most of the local travellers he hadn't had the opportunity to barter for food.
He'd tried fishing with limited success. Occasionally he managed to snag the odd one but he had to admit that it had been mostly luck. He didn't understand his failure at the task.
Naruto was not patient, he didn't have faster reflexes but somehow he always caught enough to keep their bellies full for nights on end whenever he set to the task. The knowledge that he lacked some kind of skill that Naruto found easy irritated him to say the least.
So Sasuke had been living off a very meagre diet, stretching whatever he did catch to last him for as long as possible, only eating when it became necessary. It made him feel weak and tired and long for the sights and sounds of a town all the more.
But Sasuke continued on with determination, knowing that he would find something soon. But before he found signs of a town, he had at least found some sign of life along the road. Or rather heard it.
The soft, barely heard sounds of music began to fill the air as he walked forward, getting louder and louder the longer he walked. Eventually he rounded a turn in the road revealing a flute player sitting by a fence that had been obscured by the treeline till now.
Sasuke liked music. Especially light flowing melodies like the one being played by the random flute player. So for the first time since splitting with Naruto a week ago now, Sasuke stopped on the opposite side of the narrow road and sat down, grateful for the break and the relaxing sounds filling the air and not wanting to completely ignore another person for a change.
The flute player didn't seem to notice his presence and Sasuke didn't bother to break the man's concentration, watching the man's hands intently as he played the instrument very much like the one Sasuke had found in the cave. After all, he had wanted to learn how to play so why not get in a free lesson while he took his break?
It didn't help much and it was hard to follow the movements of the other man's nimble fingers as he played. It made Sasuke long for the days when he could have used his Sharingan to copy what the man was doing. Not that he would have ever really used his abilities for such a petty reason but knowing he no longer had the decision and being presented with having to do something the hard way whether he liked it or not was annoying the say the least.
Instead of letting the annoyance take hold though he decided against letting it rile him. He was too tired and hungry to get irritated anyway. So Sasuke relaxed and let his mind go blank, his head filling with music as he continued to watch and listen and take it all in...
A familiar film dropped over his eyes right then as he focussed on the flute player's hands. Time seemed to slow for him and sharpen on those talented hands, their every move embedding themselves into his brain.
He was so shocked at what was happening for a good ten minutes of music before his brain realised that he wasn't imagining this, making him snap back into normal vision so fast that he felt dizzy and almost swooned where he sat.
He felt an ache behind his eyes just like the aftermath of him trying to use the ability just after he'd first woken up in the clearing, minus the sharp stabbing pain and feeling of complete impotence when he failed. And this time he hadn't even tried! He'd only been thinking about it, and sure, kind of wishing for it to work, but he never thought it would actually activate! Naruto would be shocked when he told...
... oh right. Naruto wasn't actually around to tell, was he?
The music stopped and Sasuke raised his head gingerly to look across at the man who was now watching him with a slightly startled expression as though he was surprised to have an audience.
"Uh, hello?" The man began tentatively.
Sasuke wasn't too sure about getting his feet underneath him right now and since he couldn't move decided ignoring the man he had obviously been listening to was a little bit childish.
"Hello."
The man watched Sasuke carefully for a moment as though he was trying to decide if Sasuke was some kind of threat or not before apparently deciding against that theory and giving him a small though still unsure smile.
"I didn't realise I had company."
"The music was... soothing," Sasuke offered, not sure what else to say and not completely sure why he was bothering.
He'd spent all week ignoring people but for some odd reason it felt oddly reassuring to speak to another person for a change. He was perhaps slightly older than Sasuke with bright blond hair and an open sort of expression. It was hard not to be reminded of another person with those familiar characteristics. But thankfully that's about where the similarities stopped.
"Uh, thanks, I guess. Hey, are you okay?" The man asked peering at him a little more closely.
His first reaction was to say he was fine, a knee-jerk reaction for any time someone asked him that. But he refrained for once.
"I need to find a town," Sasuke replied. "I haven't come across one in a couple of weeks."
"Oh well, didn't you go into Saolin? You would have passed the turn off a couple of days back."
Sasuke blinked at the question. He'd missed a town?
"I think I would have noticed walking past a town," Sasuke replied a little snidely.
"You wouldn't have been close enough to see the actual town. Depending on how fast you're traveling of course but you probably would have walked passed an intersection day before last. If you'd follow that road for half a day you'd get to the town. It's a big one too, well worth the stop, I just came from there myself. I'm heading up north looking for work. But the town's there, any of the locals could have told you."
Sasuke closed his sore eyes letting the annoyance fully wash over him now. If he hadn't been so busy keeping to himself he might have been able to find out that necessary little bit of information.
"How far till the next one?" Sasuke asked, opening his eyes again.
"Oh at least a week more," the traveller replied easily. "If you're desperate for supplies you'd be better off turning back."
Finally Sasuke managed to get his feet back underneath him and rise. He looked in the direction he had been traveling in before looking back the way he had come. well there really was no contest, he'd have to go back. If it was merely a factor of comfort he might have pushed onwards, but he needed to eat and he needed to re-supply. He couldn't spend another week the same as he had.
"Thanks," Sasuke muttered moving off, back the way he had come.
"Sure. Hey, what's your name? My name is-"
"I don't care," Sasuke cut him off walking away.
He wondered as he walked whether Naruto had gone to the town? If he had, which seemed likely since Naruto would talk to the locals, would Sasuke meet him along the road? Would Naruto still be in the town? Was that even what he wanted?
Naruto would probably expect him to apologize, which was ridiculous since Sasuke didn't think there was anything to apologize for. He'd only been telling the truth. Well mostly. He might have embellished his intentions a little bit here and there since he hadn't been entirely sure what he'd felt at the time himself. It had just been easier to lash out than explain.
Sasuke sighed. Well, maybe an explanation might be due after all. Definitely not an apology. And he didn't expect things to go back to normal even after such a thing so why bother? Well, he didn't like to leave things hanging that was true, but was he hoping that it might smooth things over? Why did he even care?
But he obviously did, he realised a moment later, otherwise he wouldn't be spending so much time thinking about it.
Sasuke took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
He at least needed to tell him about the small use of chakra. But even to Sasuke that sort of sounded like an excuse.
"Fuck."
Was it strange that he felt a little out of sorts this morning without having someone tell him off for something within the first few minutes of waking up? Yeah, that was probably strange.
It had been just over a week without the bastard who will no longer be named and the 'off' feeling of being by himself hadn't shifted even a little. A couple of times he'd even caught himself talking out loud as though he were talking to someone else. Actually last night it had taken him a whole half hour to realise he was on his own before shutting up and trying like hell not to feel like an idiot.
As he walked along the road that day, he started to wonder if he had been, as Sasuke had suggested, a bit childish about it all. He'd stormed off in a huff when Sasuke had only just really told him what he'd deep down expected to hear.
Sure he might have hoped Sasuke was starting to feel like a normal human being might, but he wondered if he should have been a little more realistic. Sasuke was Sasuke, there was never going to be any change to that, right?
Not Sasuke, don't even think that name, the still mad, stubborn part of his mind reminded him. Don't think about that jerk at all!
Okay so maybe he really should have known better, maybe he expected too much, but was it really all that much to ask for? Some shred of care would have been nice after all they'd done for each other.
"Asshole," Naruto muttered, kicking a rock across the street as he walked.
Since that first night Naruto had slowed his pace quite a bit. It wasn't as though he was hoping Sasuke might catch up. Actually he wasn't certain what Sasuke would do now that he was on his own. He'd talked about staying, he might well just find a nice little town and stay, just like he'd said he might, so Naruto couldn't even be sure they were both still heading in the same direction anymore.
And while sure, he was keen to get home himself, his fight with Sasuke had left him a little drained and so after making camp that first night, well off the road near the river, Naruto had lingered there for a few days, catching up on sleep, stocking up on fish and generally trying to relax. He'd managed the first two, but the third was still eluding him in some way. So he'd gotten back on the road, eager to give himself something else to think about for a little while.
At least his little hiatus would have helped in some way. If Sasuke was still travelling in the same direction he should have a good few days head-start on him. Naruto figured it should make the chances of them running into each other any time soon lessen. Even better, after a day back on the road Naruto had come across a local farmer who had pointed him in the direction of a big town up ahead.
He would have to turn off the road that followed the river to get to it and unless Sasuke had suddenly become social he might not even know it was there and pass right on by.
Deep down he knew he couldn't keep avoiding him though. If they were still heading in the same direction a meeting was probably inevitable. But for now he was resolute. He finally had a chance to be apart from Sasuke yet not be completely obsessed with wanting to find him. He was hoping that the parting would give him some perspective on the whole Sasuke thing and that eventually he would get used to not wanting to be around him.
Which was trickier than it sounded. Mainly because despite everything he still missed him. The only difference was that now he realised that there was no real reason why he should. He was hoping that with time the rest of his emotions might realise this and quit bugging him about it.
Naruto for once was watching his feet as he walked. He didn't really notice that he didn't seem to be able to keep his head up or his back straight. He walked a little hunched, a little dejected looking but what he did notice was his mood.
It was difficult to make himself smile or think happy thoughts about traveling home. He just kept thinking about the oh so long road ahead of him, alone.
But Sasuke was a dick, an asshole and Sasuke sure as hell made it clear that he didn't need Naruto nor care about him. It made him wonder why he'd devoted so much of his life into finding Sasuke, saving Sasuke, bringing Sasuke home when it should have been clear to him that they had never been friends and any bond they might have shared had been forced onto them through circumstance alone.
It was the same now. Sasuke had only been sort of civil to him because they were stuck together, just like when they'd been kids and there had seemed no better alternative than to travel together. Being together had made things easier on a lot of fronts.
Two fighters were stronger than one, two pairs of eyes saw more than one and two horny teenagers got more gratification from being with each other than alone and it was more convenient than going through the motions with someone else.
Naruto stopped in the middle of the street and frowned at the cobbles.
Well it might have all been true to Sasuke, but Naruto wasn't so sure about his own motivations. It did seem now like another life when he obsessed over bringing his friend home but their more recent friendship wasn't so easy for him to dismiss. Had he just imagined that connection? Was there truly nothing more to it than convenience? Naruto doubted that, but...
That was when he got the strong impression someone was staring at him. He finally raised his head and looked toward the source of the feeling to see none other than dark eyes boring into his with a surprised but rapidly developing unimpressed expression.
Fucking perfect.
The childish thing to do would be to pretend not to care and walk in the opposite direction. But he hadn't seen Sasuke in over a week and he had to admit that seeing him, although it bought back still raw feelings of anger also gave him a sense of relief to see him unmarked and his body apparently unwounded. Sasuke was sate, He was okay...the jerk.
Naruto walked over to him, surprised that Sasuke hadn't moved away.
"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked him bluntly.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "We're heading in the same direction dobe, you can't be that shocked."
"I thought you were having second thoughts about going back."
For a moment Sasuke lost the hard edge to his features. "I told you I didn't know what I wanted to do. And besides, even if I do decide not to go home I haven't exactly been floored by a great range of alternatives yet."
Naruto wasn't sure if that meant that Sasuke was having second thoughts about his second thoughts or if he just simply hadn't found somewhere he liked yet.
"So you're still traveling. Just not with me."
Sasuke watched him carefully for a moment. "Naruto I-"
"Naruto!"
At first Naruto thought he was imagining things. Surely a girl couldn't be screaming his name out over the main square in a town he had never visited before now.
He turned to face the direction of the call as a girl with long dark black hair flew into his arms and wrapped her own arms around him in one flying leap. He only just managed to keep his balance as the girl kissed him closed mouthed but forcefully before leaning back in his arms and grinning at him.
Naruto's eyes widened. "Amaya?"
"Naruto!" she beamed. "I never thought I'd see you again!"
Naruto had thought the same thing about the girl he'd saved back in Adessa. It seemed like a lifetime ago, not merely months. And that girl had been a proper sort of girl, not someone who would fly into the arms of a near stranger and kiss him. Of course such an act had been illegal in Adessa which might have been a good reason to act restrained before now.
He heard an annoyed noise behind him and craned his head around to see Sasuke scowling at the pair. "Oh um, you remember Amaya don't you?"
"Hard to forget," Sasuke muttered.
Amaya gave Sasuke an uninterested look. "Oh right. Hi Daisuke, wasn't it?"
Sasuke closed his eyes slowly in an expression that Naruto recognized as forcefully concealed anger and tried unsuccessfully to coax Amaya's limbs from clinging so tightly around him.
She eventually took the hint and slid to the ground but not before making sure to slide her way rather obviously over Naruto's body as she did so. Sasuke would have been blind to miss it and therefore was glaring at the girl like she'd just insulted his mother.
Naruto's first reaction was to be embarrassed and wary of Sasuke's reaction to the girl he hadn't much liked in the first place and then began to wonder why.
Amaya was an attractive girl, all dark hair and shining eyes, he should be thankful she still seemed to like him after all this time not concerned about what Sasuke thought of her. Sasuke was just being his usual jerk self because he'd never really liked Amaya at all... right?
"Sasuke," Sasuke corrected her in an even tone that was at odds with the look in his eyes.
"Oh right," Amaya said though Naruto could tell she wasn't very apologetic about getting Sasuke's name wrong. "I cannot believe the two of you are still traveling together."
"We aren't," Sasuke told her shortly. "Another coincidence."
"Oh? Well isn't that bizarre? Then you won't mind if I steal Naruto away for the day then?" Naruto almost swallowed his tongue. "Wait, what?"
"Well sure. I have rooms in town. An old friend of the family is putting me up at their house and they gave me the entire west wing of their estate to use for the week I am staying with them. You must be tired Naruto, you look like you could use some real comfort for the night and the wing I am staying in has a spare room. Oh please say you'll come stay with me, we have so much to catch up on!"
"I um, well I don't have anywhere to stay yet but I don't suppose that Sasuke could-"
"I have a room for the night," Sasuke cut in.
"Then it's settled!" Amaya told him triumphantly. "You can stay with me tonight and the two of you can catch up later."
"Uh, sure, I guess," Naruto replied uncertainly looking toward Sasuke who for some reason refused to meet his eyes.
"Oh good!" Amaya crowed grabbing his hand.
She led him off through the crowd towards this apparent mansion. Naruto managed to look back only once to find that Sasuke hadn't yet moved. He was looking back, brows furrowed but an odd sort of anxious look on his face. But then he turned away and Naruto lost sight of him in the crowd.
TBC
