Kamui was kicking the can over and over. "... Are you done?" Lied asked.
"No!" He shouted. "Do you know why? After all that hellish training, after all the work I put in, after waging war against Goemon Fucking Garp, after being tortured by the hellish Izuku Midoriya!"
"Izuku-kins is awesome!" Lovely Clara shouted out.
"Oh you poor, naive sap. He has completely fooled you." Kaumi answered sweetly, before turning back to that bastard Lied. "I still haven't had a single Lady fawn over me this entire time! I was promised a harem! But no! That bastard hypnotized me into losing my affections for the fair maidens of the school! And even worse, since Midoriya stopped the invasion, my lovely queen and I only received Gimel(3) instead of our rightful Dalet(4)! And he was also responsible for Lady Eiko being disqualified!"
"Wasn't that the Orobas guy?" Jazz butted in. "She came in to save Izuku if I remembered correctly."
"Semantics!" He would not be denied his righteous anger. "Do you know what it's like to have your will tainted like that!? What it's like, for a brief moment, to lose all sight of your ambitions and have it replaced with a nightmare you have to spend the rest of your life plunging from your mind!?"
"You act like being gay is wrong or something." Everyone turned to Asmodeus with a raised eyebrow. "I'm bisexual, I just don't like Izuku romantically. Way too much of a headache to deal with."
"It was a bit..invasive, I must say..but it was a sound strategy." That asshole Garp defended the bunny. "Besides, you were prepared to kill me, so 'suck it up', you sore loser."
"My queen, you'll have my side right?" He asked the lovely Kerori, queen of the beasts!
"Oh I detest the pheromones, you have all of my hate for the existence of the power itself, Elizabetta, but at the very least he's working on alternatives to avoid … the cuddling." Kerori shivered while Elzabetta just shrugged cutely. "Besides, seeing you go mad like this is too amusing. I can't hate my duke for the entertainment."
"Ah, your lovely cruelty knows no bounds." Such an amazing woman he dedicated his life to. "Do we at least know why the bastard is calling us so damn late at night?"
"Izuku said he could get Purson to sit still as long as we came here to an open area with plenty of escapes and followed a specific set of guidelines." Asmodeus spoke. "I memorized the list, i'm not running down halls a third time in a row … Sabro." He glared at the buff man.
"Sabro Mountain is a meanie to Statue Purson!" Clara shouted out.
"I regret nothing! Either I play the Demon King, or no one does. As thy mighty rival proclaims-Never settle for less!"
"This is why we're not doing the Demon King, in any performance we do." Lied spoke up as Sabro violently began to twitch.
"Why couldn't I have stayed at home? You all could've gone without me." Kaumi had to study the fair ladies on his computer intensively twice as hard now.
"This is a class effort Kamui. You'd do it for me and Kerori, wouldn't you." Elizabetta winked at him as he felt his heart soar in the exact opposite velocity as Lied's smile.
"Besides, Izuku Midoriya is the leader of the Misfits and Calamity Cult, do you really want to see what he could do to you if you don't listen to him?" Schieder pointed out. He's been using a lot less fancy language nowadays.
"Who knows." Jazz gave a savage smirk. "Maybe he'll call Deku's bluff and turn you into fried chicken."
That sent shivers down his back, and not the good kind either. "Fine, I'll listen to the jerk, but I'm not going to like it."
"You sound like Azz-Azz before they became friends." Clara laughed. "Which was also a bet I won, so I feel extra confident about this!" They all paused for a moment, hearing a 'pat pat' sound. "Oh, someone's making music!"
"So … this is Soi Purson." Izuku sat on a mat, Purson hiding behind him as the misfits sat on the other side of the roof. The trees were a nice touch, planted by people inspired by the big rainbow tree still in the courtyard.
"Hello Statue Purson." Clara greeted, held back by Asmodeus, who looked far too used to it.
"~~~~~" The boy began whispering into Izuku's ear. "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" Seems pretty long. "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" Very long. "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" How long!?
Izuku just nodded the whole time until about a minute passed, before turning back to the group. "He says hello." THE FUCK!?
"How the hell does that translate to hello!?" Lied had to cry out. This was tipping the insanity line more than it should. "And he actually talks? Why didn't he say anything before?"
"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" Purson went back to whispering. "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" Oh come on!
"He says it's because we've been pestering him so much. It's too much to handle all at once." Ah, that was a fair point. Damn it, now he feels bad.
"Sorry man, we were just kind of worried and we got caught up in the moment." Jazz apologized. "We won't pester you any more, but we'd still love you to be in the show."
"Play."
"Band."
"Ricital."
"Musical."
"Whatever we're doing." Jazz corrected. "We'd like for everyone to join in."
Looks like his job as the class's second big brother has come. "Look, whatever you need to say, I'll listen. It'll just stay in-between us! There's no need to feel uncomfortable around us anymore."
"..." Purson was silent before silently sliding from behind Midoriya. Yes, this would be his first words to them. "You're a terrible brother." He pointed to Jazz.
"I … what?" Well that seemed harsh.
"You try to act like a role model but the problem is you're way too doting, it causes stagnation. Also you break the law daily, that's a huge contradiction. How can you claim to take care of us when you're constantly bringing trouble to yourself? How can someone take care of their family if they're constantly on the run? Also, I know you keep a fourth stash of treasure hidden in one of the soundproof rooms where all the truly expensive items are that you have no plans to share with the others. And you keep stealing from us, so I'm not going to trust you to not try and take something from me."
Jazz looked completely broken, sliding down onto the ground. "I'm a … bad brother … I've become Rocks … can someone hand me a knife?" No, don't die!
"At least you're better than Shax." Wait WHAT!? "You barely run, just sitting on your tail in order to look taller than you are. Your attention span is short and you only focus on games and dangerous situations, and you do dangerous gambles daily. You constantly trash the place with ramen packets and it's only clean because Midoriya and Sabnock clean your mess and you take advantage of it." Okay wow, right in the soul! "And that's not even getting about your puppy dog ogling of Ix when you think no one is-"
"PLEASE STOP!" He'd rather get hit with Orobas's magic again. That hell was better than the current one he was living in!
"Allcor."He turned to the lion boy, ignoring Izukus horrified stare.
"Go ahead, I have nothing." The man was a rock.
"I know you've been dating multiple women, including Furcas's daughter. You're as disgusting as Caim, you just keep it hidden. All the studying you do is purely for Vanity sake, you read more and more just so you can make everyone feel dumber around you because you're so weak at using magic and you don't want anyone to notice. You're honestly no different than Oni, who at least has the excuse of studying for the sake of someone else. You don't apply your genius anywhere at all while she uses it to make weapons of mass destruction. You're on a long path to nowhere at this rate."
"You bastard, I thought I could trust you!" Jazz chastised his partner in crime as the Lion teen looked down in shame.
"It's true! I'm a fraud! What have I used my knowledge for other than to make witty comments!?" Wow, and here he thought the dude was the sane one.
"Truly despicable." Asmodeus called out. "Does not a single one of you have any ounce of shame."
"I don't even have to try with Asmodeus, he's just an asshole who doesn't comprehend empathy unless it's beaten into him. You think your better than everyone but in reality we've been above you this whole time ranking up multiple times while you only ranked up once. He believes that you can solve problems with simple power but that doesn't solve everything you moron. And then there's the indecent acts you pull with Koopa. I know what you did in the bushes and in the bathroom, and you only think you're better than how you were because Midoriya is too dense to fully see all the awful sides of your crappy personality."
"…I'm going to go into a corner now, please don't follow." Wow, didn't even try to burn the guy down, soul destruction to the max.
"Hahaha, this is great! Why haven't we talked before?!" Sabro laughed at Asmodeus's misery.
"Probably because you're so full of yourself to even remember my name. You're way too obsessed with being the Demon King, even you have to know that. You think by reading all his stories and sleeping in the Classroom at night makes you closer to your goal but it doesn't. Your attempts at doing so are honestly laughable, you've only ranked up just recently, and every other time you failed horribly. You claim Midoriya is your Rival but honestly it just looks like you've given up entirely, probably because he can do more than just lift heavy objects."
"… Is this how homicidal my beta rival feels on the daily?" Sabro asked in internal confusion.
"Don't insult the ladies!" Kamui shouted, standing guard against them.
"Why would I? I respect the privacy of women." Oh so he was biased, lovely. "Unlike you. I can't even insult you because you just take it in stride. It would be admirable if it wasn't disgusting." Kamui was the only one immune to the soul crusher, he must save himself!
The misfits painted on the ground, it was fine. Crocell adjusted her glasses. "He's definitely one of us. How'd you get spared, Izuku?"
"I didn't. He let me know ahead of time." Midoriya sank his head. It was fine. It was also not everything he had to say about the honor student, but he didn't want to spend the rest of the night talking about his flaws alone.
"Let's agree to not mention this ever again!" Shax shouted, probably wanting nobody to remember what he said about ogling Ix. It was fine. "For all our sake."
"Agreed." Andro let go of a knife he found. It was fine. "Still, I guess that's to be expected from the Pixie. His lung capacity is off the charts! Guess blowing into that trumpet can do that."
"Yeah, I still can't believe it. This is the guy everyone has been talking about." Allcor wondered.
"Surprised I never heard of him before." Midoriya spoke. "You'd think we would notice a trumpet being played almost daily."
"I thought it was just the bell." Valac spoke innocently. It was fine.
"Are we just going to ignore his feat of out-muttering Midoriya?" Garp wondered out loud. "My humble self didn't think it was feasible, but apparently the impossible truly is possible in this class."
"More like out speaking." Shax spoke as he got up. "From this day forth, Soi Purson is the soul crusher of the Misfits." … it was fine?
"Agreed." Asmodeus sagged back to the group as everyone nodded. "Okay, so before I regain the will to send this prick flying across the Netherworld, how are we going to do this? He'll play his trumpet for the Festival, correct?"
"I have conditions." He spoke to them. Shoot, now they were paying attention to him again. Breathe in, breathe out. "First off, I'll only help in the music portion. The second is that no one can know it's me." Getting noticed without being noticed. An impossible challenge, but it was the only one he'd agreed to.
They were super quiet. It was fine … it was fine .. it wasn't fine, he ruined it, no one would be wanting to continue with that.
"So, you're asking for the impossible, right?" Shax smiled wickedly, a smile he's only seen on Midoriya before.
"What do you know, the guy really is a misfit." Andro shared that smile, eyes boring into him like a predator to play.
"The impossible game is super fun." Valac's naturally sharp teeth made it all the more feral.
"I'm sure there is something that will allow this to work, it's a matter of persuasion." Ix gazed at him like one of her boy toys.
"If I can blend in and stand out, it will hardly be a problem to do the same for you." Crocell icy glare was all the more frightening with that smirk.
"If it is a Ladies will, I shall accompany that with no complaints." Caim gazed at him with bristled feathers.
"You're an asshole, but so am I." Allcor removed his mask, showing a mouth full of hunger. "I shall use all my knowledge to thrust us forward.
"If my friends are in it, then so am I." Asmodeus lit his hands ablaze. "I'll keep our sparks lit."
"A road to Demon King is doing the impossible, isn't that right?" Sabnock asked, cracking his neck.
"Impossible, I laugh in the face of impossible." Midoriya stretched out. "That's what going Plus Ultra is all about."
Oh right, Soi completely forgot an important fact. He was dealing with an insane classroom of danger junkies that laughed in the face of impossibility. He just became the most enticing meal to fuel that desire and drive … It was safe?
"Hey, what are you kids doing on school grounds this late at night!" A single shout wiped the vicious grins off their faces.
"Scatter!" Everyone cried out, Midoriya using that Smokescreen Magic to cover their trails. It..it was okay. He would play music and not be noticed. It would be okay.
