"I'm..amazed." Kate replied as her heart broke. "Is..is..mm.." she couldn't stop the few tears that fell down her cheeks. She had been so close. Or maybe she hadn't.
"Kate, I-" Caroline glanced up now, and saw the tears being scrubbed away. "What's the matter?!" She jumped from her seat to move around the desk.
"What's the matter?" Kate gave a humourless laugh. "You all but tell me you'd like to at least try having a relationship with me, and then less than 24 hours later you're back with your husband."
"Back with.. Kate I'm not explaining myself well. I'm nervous." Caroline reached out a little, hesitated, and then took Kate's hand, lifting it to hold between both her own. "I'm not.. it's not…" Caroline struggled, then rolled her eyes at herself. "Two months. I've said he can stay for two months, while he looks for a suitable place where the boys will be able to stay sometimes. I'm hoping he's at least trying to mend his relationship with William. I just..I wanted to tell you because I didn't want you to worry when I didn't invite you over for a couple of months." Caroline managed to get out, concerned eyes on Kate. "You come over a few times a week as it is, and I didn't want you to think I was…pushing you out by asking you not to come. The thing is..I told him about us."
Kate's eyes flew up with surprise. "You told John? About us?"
"I didn't intend to. Not yet. But he was being..well, himself, and I was angry. So I told him there was no chance of us getting back together, and I told him why. There's a chance..well, more than a chance, that he may spout some homophobic bullshit because his feelings are hurt, and i imagine that's most likely to happen if you come over, and Lawrence is still very much vulnerable to his fathers words, so I didn't want that to happen." Caroline studied Kate, then asked warily "have I done the wrong thing? Have I hurt you?"
"No." Kate replied softly, then a little louder. "No." She squeezed Caroline's hand, giving her a watery smile. "You just need to start every conversation in your office with a good or bad notice so I know what to expect."
"While I dither on." Caroline smiled.
"I usually find your dithering quite calming." Kate admitted with a sniff, reaching up to wipe away the remaining tears.
"I'll remind you of that after you've sat through the staff meeting in ten minutes." Caroline replied, her hand moved to brush Kate's cheek. "You're beautiful." it was said so quietly it was almost to herself, and then suddenly she was standing and straightening her jacket, returning to Dr Elliot. She turned away to go back to her desk, and used to this sort of dismissal now, Kate stood up with cheeks warm with happiness, and was about to leave when the head mistress' voice rang out. "What apple?"
Caroline was glad Kate sat in the back row during the meeting. It was calming knowing she was there, without having to worry she would catch sight of her and forget what she had been going to say.
"And lastly. I was hoping no one would need a reminder, as we are staffed by grown adults, but I would like everyone to behave as such and make sure the fridge is kept clean. I also hope I don't need to have discussions with anyone this term about throwing out or eating other peoples foods." Caroline made brief eye contact with Kate, and then dismissed the staff, biting back a smile as she saw several staff glancing towards Kate.
"Caroline Elliot. You will pay for that. I'll get people asking what I did all day!" Kate hissed as she walked past her boss.
"Well, no hiding in stationary cupboards, I know what happens in there."
"Hardly likely, given you always send Beverley for your stationary." Kate replied, before quickly backtracking. "Not that you and I.. not that..umm.."
Caroline smiled, her hand briefly brushing against Kate's before she picked up her already growing pile of paperwork. "No one else you'd like to go in there with other than me, then?"
"If you're fishing for a compliment, Caroline Elliot, be careful what you wish for." Kate's eyes strayed to Caroline's legs with a look she had never seen before, and the blonde felt her mouth go dry.
The first week back at work was always the busiest, and by 2pm on the first day, Caroline was usually exhausted and wanting to go home. Not today. Today, John would be there to greet her, with his smarmy smile. He had probably gone all out to make a ridiculously expensive dinner, making a complete mess of her kitchen in the process.
She allowed herself the briefest day dream about what it might be like to go home to Kate. Talking as they made dinner, talking over dinner, watching a ridiculous reality show that neither of them would ever admit to enjoying. Going to bed with Kate. Kissing Kate. Making l-
"Caroline?"
"Hmm? Sorry? What?" She looked at Beverley as she stuck her head through the door.
"You've got your meeting. Do you want to take it in here, or in the meeting room?"
Caroline glanced at her diary. She was momentarily distracted by writing not in her own hand. Printed neatly on fridays page- 'goat yoga with K.'
"I'm not doing goat yoga."
"Sorry?" Beverley asked.
"Nothing, Beverley. We will have it in here. If you see Kate McKenzie, can you ask her if she has 5 minutes after school to discuss that choir issue."
"Absolutely. Can I get you anything else before the head of departments start coming?"
"I would love a coffee. And perhaps some matchsticks to keep my eyes open."
Beverley smiled. She loved the rare moments when Caroline dropped her formality just a little. "I'll see what I can do."
…
"Hi."
"Hi."
Caroline smiled down at the form she held, signed it and then looked up. "I'm not doing goat yoga."
"If you try, you might find you love it."
"I'm not doing goat yoga." Caroline offered again. "If you're so caught up on me doing some form of exercise, why don't we go for a walk on the moors or somewhere on Saturday."
"We could. But then what would we do on our Friday night?"
Caroline fiddled with her pen, remembering her earlier day dream. "Go to your house. Make dinner. Have a very ordinary Friday night."
"Sounds perfect." Kate smiled.
"Good." Caroline smiled back, eyes staying on Kate's a few beats too long before she looked down. "I did actually need to talk to you about the choir, so I'm going to put my Dr Elliot hat on now, okay?"
Kate nodded and sat opposite her across the desk. "There are twin boys that started this year who have already asked to be in the choir. Apparently their brother was. Fergus something."
"Well, I would watch them, because Fergus had the voice of an angel and the attitude of the devil." Caroline slipped her glasses on. "Anyway, I know I told you this was only a possibility, but we are going to have to change the day of your usual practice this semester, given the hall is being renovated. I've worked out a few possible options for you." She slid the paper across the table.
Kate smiled at how Friday had ticked all the boxes, but Caroline had already crossed it out. "It'll have to be Monday. Wednesday clashes with too many other music lessons, and most of my kids are doing an instrument as well."
"Ok. I'll get Beverley to contact the parents of anyone on the list for this term." Caroline made a note to herself.
"Caroline, when you said you told john.. what exactly did you say?"
Caroline slipped her glasses off but didn't look up, toying with her pen again. "Just that I was seeing someone. When he pressed the issue I said your name."
"And are you? Seeing me?"
"..I suppose we've been seeing each other for months. Did you know IVF has a higher prevalence of twin births?"
"I..sorry?" Kate frowned at this non sequitur.
"I haven't…I know I'm scared. Terrified. But I didn't..I don't go into anything without thinking it through, Kate. I know I don't always seem to listen or take things in, but..I just want you to know that I never make any choice lightly. You said you'd like to try having a child at some point, and that you couldn't see yourself as a single parent." Caroline toyed with her pen, not looking up from her desk. "..I just want you to understand that I've thought things through, that's all."
Kate stared in silence for so long that Caroline finally looked up.
"Kate?"
"You're..you've..you never fail to surprise me, Caroline. We don't have to talk about that. Not so early on. We haven't even kissed yet, for heaven's sake!" Kate brushed away a tear. To break the tension, she quickly added "..I did also say I wanted to do goat yoga. Is that..possible?"
"You're making fun of me now." Caroline smiled.
"You're..magnificent." Kate let out a small laugh and brushed away another tear before she reached out to squeeze the blonde's hand.
This time, Caroline turned her hand over to gently hold Kate's across the desk. "…I said I'd take the boys home, so I need to go."
"Okay." Kate stroked Caroline's wrist with her fingers.
They sat there for several minutes in a comfortable silence, Caroline feeling as though she was taking strength for the evening from Kate.
Finally she sighed and drew her hand back. "If I call you later.."
"I'll send my solicitor to the local police station to bail you out for boiling johns meat and two veg in a soup pan."
Carolines surprised laugh kept Kate's heart happy for the rest of the night.
