The women went home separately that afternoon, at Kate's request. Caroline still felt terrible about not calling her the night before so she agreed with Kate's wish.

She went home with her boys, on time for once, and they had an almost silent dinner with their father, where Caroline moved the food around her plate, and then when Lawrence suggested they all watch a movie she agreed with a small head nod.

Sitting in her armchair a short while later, Caroline toyed with her phone. Should she message kate? Should she leave her alone and wait for her to message? The problem for Caroline was that all the relationships she had been in or seen involved long periods of silence, each person trying to out-wait the other, though to be the winner of what she could never quite understand.

She wanted to be better for Kate, and yet already she had fallen into the same patterns of the past. She thought then of what Kate had said to her one Friday night. They were sitting at the beach, and Caroline was lamenting all her past mistakes, and Kate had said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world, "just keep going. If you make a mistake, apologise, and then keep moving forward, keep evolving, keep trying to be the person you want to be. No one is perfect, Caroline."

"You are." She replied.

"I'm not. I make terrible decisions all the time. I've hurt people. Badly. I've broken promises. But I'm human. I forgive myself and I try harder to be better."

Caroline clicked on her messages and looked at the photo of Kate next to her name. Then she typed "I got things all the wrong way around. I should have told you about Michael earlier, and I should have talked to you about talking to Gavin before I did it. It was a decision we both should have been part of, and I took it over. I'm sure we both know why, but I know that you're not like that. You don't need that from me. What you need is equality, and I'm sorry I didn't give that to you."

Kate's reply came barely a minute later. "Please don't be hard on yourself, Caroline. We both made the same sort of mistake, really, didn't we? I was excited to talk and I told Michael, and you were excited to talk and you told Gavin. So, you've given yourself your own answer; There is nothing to forgive. And in future we will talk it through."

"I love you." Caroline repeated her words from earlier that day. As then, she realised she felt no guilt, none of the panic or fear that she had been so worried about.

"I love you, too."


When Caroline saw Kate the next morning, she felt a flash of nerves for the very first time since meeting her. Kate stood with her back to the door writing out the plan for her first lesson on the white board.

Caroline had been intending to bring Kate a morning cup of cafe coffee, so much nicer than the one they had at work, but then, now she was here, another urge washed over her.

Kate jumped when arms slipped around her waist, but she quickly relaxed back into the body behind hers, her hands moving to rest on the pale arms that held her. Caroline buried her face against Kate's neck and simply stood there for several minutes, swaying them gently to the music that played quietly on Kate's phone.

It was Kate who finally broke the spell, turning around to face the blonde. Lifting a hand,, she brushed her fingers along her jawline, gazing into blue eyes. Then she leaned forward just slightly to meet Caroline's lips in a kiss.

And it was Kate who finally took a step back as the sound of several pairs of feet could be heard in the corridor.

It was only about half an hour later as she walked down the aisle to take assembly that Caroline realised that neither had said a word to one another. Her eyes glanced involuntarily towards Kate. There was only one word for the smile she saw waiting for her. Radiant.


"I don't see that it matters, John." Caroline sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't plan on being late, and the boys can manage dinner for themselves. And if you're really convinced they'll burn the house down, give them some money for a take away."

"That's not the point. The point is that I'm going to need to work late, and our children should have someone at home with them to talk about their week!"

"Ok, fine. I'll ask kate to come over to mine instead."

"That's not what I mean!"

"What is it that you're doing when you work late, John? Is it writing, which you could easily do at home, or is it University work? Is there some poor unfortunate girl who thinks the sun shines out of your arse that you've offered extra tutoring to?"

"Caroline, you're being ridiculous! All I'm saying is that-"

"No, it's fine, I understand. The boys need someone to talk to about their week, so I will ask Kate to come over to mine instead. Thankfully the boys usually go to bed early on a Friday, because after dinner and talking about their week, I plan to take Kate to our..oops, my, bedroom, and f- John?" She listened. He'd hung up. "Pillock."

"And?"

Caroline jumped, spinning around from where she had been looking out onto what looked like a particularly competitive game of lunch time football.

"And?" Kate prompted again. She had her bum resting against Caroline's desk and had evidently been there quite a while.

"..I haven't quite got that far in my fantasy yet. People keep interrupting me with phone calls where they just talk absolute bollocks. Mum called me earlier to ask me to buy her some frilly knickers for heaven's sake!"

Kate stared at Caroline for a moment and then burst out laughing.

"What? What?!" Caroline laughed, too.

"Caro-oh! Sorry!" Beverley walked in and then stopped.

"It's fine, Beverley. We were just talking about Caroline's mums frilly underpinnings."

"Stop it." Caroline warned Kate softly with a smile before she looked at Beverley, though the smile grew at another giggle from Kate. "Yes, Beverley?"

"Just a reminder that you've got that appointment with the head of first year in ten minutes. Do you want a quick snack now, or can you wait until after for lunch?"

"I'll wait. Maybe just a cup of tea?"

Beverley nodded. "Kate? Can I get you one?"

"No thanks, I'd better go, I've got lunch duty soon." Kate stood up as Beverley nodded and bustled from the room. "I don't suppose the head being in love with you gets you out of lunch duty?"

"Sorry. No special treatment from me while at work. At home though, I could definitely-" caroline leaned forward to whisper what she had just been about to tell John.

"Won't that be..technically difficult?"

"I'm sure we will think of something when the time comes."

"How..how soon do you think that will be?"

"Soon." Caroline promised.


That afternoon it was Caroline who planned their date, telling Kate nothing of where they were going. When they pulled up outside a huge warehouse, Kate raised her eyebrows.

"Please say we aren't going in there. Caroline, we will get murdered!"

"No we won't! Well, I might, but I've seen enough horror movies to know the black woman always survives."

"Stereotype, Caroline! If we are going to have my baby, you're going to-"

"Our. Our baby." Caroline said softly.

Kate stilled, then reached out for Caroline's hand, squeezing it as she beamed at the blonde. "Our baby. If we - CAROLINE!" Kate's voice echoed in the warehouse, causing all eyes to turn to them, which made Caroline blush.

Kate only had eyes for the kids. The baby goats racing around or cuddling up to the people who were readying themselves for the class.

"You must be Caroline?" The teacher asked with a slight smirk.

"That's me. This is Kate."

"Lovely to meet you both. If you'll come this way, you can meet everyone."

"Remind me never to take you to Gillian's farm." Caroline offered as they left the space an hour later.

"Has she got goats?"

"No idea. But if you're going to name every animal, you'll be there for at least a week." Caroline brushed her hands through her hair, trying to dislodge the straw that now resided in there.

"Did you notice that Mary called me your partner? I didn't say anything, and neither did you, she just..knew."

"It was nice." Caroline admitted with a smile. "Well, that bit was. If you want to come again, you'll have to come alone. I've done my bit."

Laughing, Kate reached out and helped her pick the last of the straw from her hair. "They were only trying to play with you. They wouldn't have knocked you into the hay bales if you'd played with them."

"Perhaps we should have Indian food for dinner. I fancy goat curry."

Kate swatted Caroline's arm and then climbed into the jeep with a happy smile on her face.

Caroline smiled too before she opened her door.


"Goats?"

"Goats."

"…why?"

"Apparently any yoga with baby animals reduces your blood pressure."

"Not yours. You come out in hives if you're near any animals for too long." Celia offered. "Why is that pillock here?"

"He said he's been here all day cleaning, but I can see no evidence of it."

"Pillock."

"I am here you know." John pointed out over his bowl of ice cream.

"I heard one of the kids at school refer to someone as a twat weasel the other day, and I thought that could be quite fitting, too."

Lawrence snorted his amusement into his own bowl of ice cream, earning an elbow from his father.

"Why did you go? To the goat thing?" William asked.

"Oh, Kate wanted to go. She's been writing it in my diary for weeks, and I thought after the week we've had we could both do with some blood pressure lowering. Can you still smell them on me?" She held up an arm to her mother, who dutifully sniffed.

"Yes."

"I think I'll go for a bath." Caroline stood up, picking up her glass of wine.

"I kept you a portion of dinner." John offered.

"You needn't have. I've already eaten. Which I did tell you I'd be doing."

"But it's your favourite. It's my famous lasagna."

"Oh! Well that changes things. The lasagna you make when you're feeling guilty about something. What is it exactly you've done this time?" Caroline didn't wait for a reply as she made her way upstairs, already dialing Kate's number.

"What are you doing? I'm about to have a bath and I thought we could have a bath together. Well, separately. Together."

"Already in the bath. I've got a glass of wine and a cheese platter."

Caroline groaned. "I knew I should have stayed longer."

"Don't be too jealous, I did just spend a couple of minutes removing goat poo from my hair."

"Ha! Told you so!" Caroline crowed triumphantly.

..

"What were you going to say earlier? About our baby." Caroline asked later that night when they lay in two different beds wishing they were together.

Kate yawned. "I was just going to say that if..if it happens. And there's no guarantee that it will, the odds are against us, but you'll be a white mother of a black baby. You'll have to learn some things. How to do their hair, how to fight for them, how to deal with people not thinking you're related for a start."

Caroline let out a sigh and rolled onto her side. "…do you think racism is still..around? As much as it used to be?"

"Yes."

"…I guess you've had to deal with a lot of people's prejudices, one way or another. And I've been quite privileged in that respect."

"..yes."

Caroline rolled back onto her back. "I will, you know. I will protect he or she fiercely. I will fight for them. I will love them. I will treat them exactly as I do the boys."

"If." Kate reminded her.

"If." Caroline echoed.

"…we are getting ahead of ourselves, Caroline. The more important thing right now is exactly when you're going to come with me to bed."

"Soon."

"How soon?"

"..do you think about me? When you…"

"Yes."

"I think about you, too. Soon, Kate, I promise."

Kate rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "..can we talk about something stupid now?"

"…I've had to ground William because apparently he was invited to a party that he really doesn't want to go to. He made me ground him while he was on the phone to the friend hosting it, so he would have an excuse not to go. Now his friends think I'm a dragon who grounds her kids and ruins their life because they put a glass down without a coaster. It was all I could think of!" Caroline smiled at Kate's laugh. "oh, and apparently the garments we picked weren't to mothers taste, so I need to return them tomorrow."

"I cant believe that the first time I've been lingerie shopping with you, it was for your mother. With goat poo in my hair!'