"Here?!"
"Yep! Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful. It's very…grown up."
"What does that mean?" Caroline laughed. "You're a grown up!"
"Well, you are. I'm still waiting on my pen license." Kate replied as she looked up at the grand hotel.
"Do you not like it ?"
"No. It's perfect, Caroline. It's beautiful. Thank you." Kate turned her head to kiss her girlfriend.
"I've booked lots of relaxing things to do today before…things." Caroline grabbed her bag from the back of the car. "Did I tell you that Alan told my mum I can call him dad if I'd like?"
"Did he?! That's quite..that's sweet."
"Is it? I like Alan, but he's not my dad. My dad is dead."
"I bet Celia thought it was a great idea."
"She did, as a matter of fact." Caroline laughed, nudging her shoulder into Kate's and sharing a smile with her.
…
Caroline was toying with the stem of her wine glass when she saw Kate walking down the stairs. She was wearing a dress, something she rarely did, and for a moment Caroline just stared, mouth slightly open.
She watched in silence as Kate sat down, and finally managed to free some whispered words. "You look beautiful."
"You look un-fucking-believable."
Caroline snorted softly at this. "That massage relaxed you a little too much. You've seen me in this before."
"Mm. But I saw the bag in your suitcase, and now I'm imagining what you've got on under that outfit." Kate offered as she too leaned forward. "And I think you look unbelievable."
Caroline shushed Kate as a waiter walked by, her cheeks going a little pink as she focused on rearranging her top.
"I was so looking forward to a weekend away with you. Did you know that this is the first time we have been away together since London? I was so excited to spend time with you doing relaxing things. And then we get here, and you've booked the honeymoon suite?! And you've bought lingerie?! Caroline..the things I want to do with you now are definitely not relaxing. Not in the slightest. If Greg wasn't going to be here any moment I would- Greg!" Kate jumped up to hug him hello.
"Hi! How are you?! Happy birthday! Is it today or tomorrow? Hi, Caroline."
"Tomorrow. Which means it's the 15th anniversary of that terrible party you threw me where I almost got arrested in marks and Spencer's. Worst night of my life."
Caroline might have thought she had been forgotten if it wasn't for the maddening circles Kate's fingers were drawing on her thigh, the same pattern she used on Caroline when she- shit. Greg was looking at her. "Sorry?"
"Has Kate told you this story before? Some thanks you get from this one for throwing her surprise birthday party, just to warn you. Anything she doesn't like she will still be bringing up in 15 years."
"Caroline rarely does anything I don't like." Kate offered, her fingers pressing a little more firmly.
Caroline flushed and busied herself finishing her drink as Kate told the story.
…
Kate had spent a few moments setting out her plan to Greg alone while Caroline sat nervously by the fire. What if someone overheard? What if he tried to convince Kate to change the plan? He had signed all the lawyers paperwork, sure, but maybe now they were here, and it didn't seem as clinical and formal as Caroline had thought it would be at the start.
"He's agreed." Kate said breathlessly as she approached. "We go to our room, him to his, then he will-"
"I don't want to think about that bit, thanks very much."
The edge in Caroline's voice made Kate's smile falter. "You're having second thoughts."
"No. Well, not..not…Kate, I know you said you didn't want this to happen in a sterile environment, but maybe it's better…"
"I thought you wanted to be the one to do it." Kate crossed her arms. "You are having second thoughts. You've let it come this far and now it's really happening you want to back out! You are unbelievable!"
Caroline shot to her feet, running her hands down Kate's arms to take her hands as she shushed her. "I'm not. I promise I'm not. I just want to make sure you are completely comfortable with this. That you're sure this is how you want to do i. And who you want to do it with."
"Oh, you never liked Greg. You-"
"Kate." Caroline spoke her name a little louder and several people looked to them. "That's not what I'm saying. You're nervous. We all are. But please don't make me out to be the enemy. I'm just making sure you are comfortable with this, because we can't back out once tonight is over."
Kate released a slow breath, allowing Caroline to take her hands again. "I'm sorry. I am nervous. But I'm sure. They said being relaxed is the best way, and in a clinical place I couldn't be."
"You're not relaxed now."
As Kate opened her mouth to argue again, Caroline surprised her.
"Dance with me."
"What?"
"Dance with me. In the garden." Caroline turned to lead kate outside. "Can you hear that?"
Kate listened, then shook her head. "I can't hear anything."
Caroline started humming to the music she heard, and finally kate picked it up the sound and began moving slowly in time with Caroline, holding her close.
She had never heard the blonde sing before, but suddenly she was singing softly into her ear. Kate felt her heart beginning to calm.
A slow, gentle rendition of 'Here comes the sun'.
"I used to sing that to the boys when they were babies." Caroline offered when the music came to an end and they still danced together.
"You've got a beautiful voice."
"Would I make it into your choir, do you think?"
"You'd be a soloist." Kate smiled as she pulled back just a little to kiss the blonde.
"William..do you think William might.."
Kate laughed gently. "He definitely has the talent, but we have agreed that people would think he was getting special treatment if I gave him a solo. And he doesn't want to sing alone in front of people." She put her hand to Caroline's cheek. How lucky her child might be to have a mother like her. "Take me to bed, Caroline."
Caroline kissed Kate gently again, then led her back into the building and toward the stairs. "Thank god you came when you did, becasue before that song they were playing Cecilia and I was worried you'd take it as a sign to call a girl Cecilia and a boy Garfunkel."
Kate laughed again, tugging Caroline's hand toward the elevator as the doors opened. Alone inside, she kissed her again.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." Caroline pressed her against the wall, deepening the kiss.
…
Kate was laying on the bed writhing with Caroline's mouth on her when the knock at the door came. Both women stilled, then Caroline dropped a kiss to Kate's thigh before standing and reaching for the bathrobe.
"God, you are beautiful." Kate said quietly, almost to herself.
Caroline knelt on the bed and kissed her, Kate's hand reaching for her again before the blonde pulled away. "I'll be back."
There was a very brief and very awkward exchange at the door, and then Caroline hid the result behind her back.
"Where-" Kate began nervously.
"Let me worry about the where and how. Now i think I was in the middle of something."
Soon kate had forgotten all about conceiving and babies. Caroline felt like she was everywhere, inside and out, and all kate could focus on was begging for release.
The next couple of weeks were busy and tense, with organising the selling of two properties and the purchase of another. Caroline took over most of the practical side of things and just occasionally brandished a form for Kate to sign, which she usually did without reading them.
Kate herself, when not at school, seemed to be permanently attached to Caroline's side, too nervous to be alone. Even Lawrence had found himself in her presence with her hand gripping his more than once. He had looked at his mother, panicked, but all she had done was offer an apologetic smile.
Surprisingly, someone who put in a lot of effort to distract Kate was Celia. Caroline didn't notice immediately, just wondered briefly why her mother kept coming over to ask about things she already knew the answer to. By the time she walked in on Kate attempting to teach Celia a bit of french for her honeymoon, when she had already told Caroline herself they would go to the Lake District, she knew exactly what she was up to.
"Can I make anyone a cup of tea?"
"Yes..ah…Oui s'il te plaît?" Celia offered. Kate smiled, pleased, and Caroline kissed her mothers head on her way past.
"Perhaps Alan and I could have a French song at the wedding. They do make things sound romantic. Do you have anything you could suggest, Kate?"
"Oh! Yes, I'll go and get my phone and play you a few!"
As Kate rushed from the room, Caroline smiled at her mother.
"What?"
"I know what you're doing."
"I'm not doing a thing. You're putting too much milk in that tea, you'll have to put the bag back in."
When Caroline had gone back to her office to finish her paperwork, and Celia and Kate were listening to a particularly melancholy French love song, Celia suddenly offered "I lost a baby, once."
Kate looked up. "…Caroline has never mentioned.."
"She doesn't know. It was before she was born. A little boy, apparently. They wouldn't let me see him, not in those days. They just told me 'he's gone' and then took him away. I think that's when Kenneth and I began to..drift apart."
"…after the first time, Richard was so angry. With me. He pointed out absolutely everything I could have done that might have lost us the baby." Kate said quietly.
Reaching out, Celia squeezed her hand tightly. "…men are bastards."
"Alan's not."
"No. Alan's not." Celia smiled fondly. "He does read the daily mail, though."
Caroline had looked at Kate's phone when she was out of the room to find out, then put it in her own phone. She didn't want to be waiting and hovering and asking her when her period was due. Kate always tracked it, and Caroline had been amazed that it almost always came on the day it was scheduled. There was no point tracking her own, because like a lot of things in her life, it would never behave as she wanted it to.
On the day Kate was due, Caroline got up early and made her breakfast in bed. She realised her mistake only when she saw Kate's expression. Worry. Someone to let down aside from herself.
"..sorry."
Kate gave a small smile, reaching out. "Pancakes? They smell amazing."
Caroline settled herself beside her girlfriend, kissing her shoulder apologetically. "There's pancakes with a raspberry syrup, homemade, a cup of tea in your favourite mug, and..I was going to get roses, but they only had those rainbow ones left in stock, and I didn't want you to accuse me of being a midweek raging lesbian again, so I got some sunflowers instead."
Kate turned her head to kiss Caroline softly. "Thank you."
"…I got Beverley to leave a gap in my schedule that coincides with your free period. I thought, if you'd like, I could come to you to do my paperwork, or you could come to me. Then you won't be alone to.."
"Think?"
"Mm."
"That sounds perfect." Kate kissed Caroline again.
..
When Kate didn't appear in her office during her free period, Caroline waited a few minutes and then went looking for her. Not in her classroom, not in the bathroom.
"It's great news, isn't it?" Asked one of the teachers as they exited the staffroom.
"Sorry?"
"Anne is pregnant!" The woman beamed then rushed off.
Caroline looked after her, briefly trying to place the name Anna as she walked into the staffroom to look for Kate.
She realised who Anna was when she saw the state of the room. A big announcement in balloons, cake, pink and blue everywhere. Anna, the art teacher. Who already had 7 ruddy children.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, Caroline dialed Kate's number. It rang in the room. Kate's phone was abandoned on the table right next to the door.
Swearing softly to herself, Caroline rushed from the room with both phones in her hand.
