Ford fought back the urge to panic.

At least, he tried to.

Unfortunately, he had some doubts about his success in the endeavor, since within seconds he could feel something with long sharp claws reaching into his chest and squeezing his heart, and his vision had started blurring and graying, as a familiar mocking cackle echoed in his ears-


It was a minute or two before he could focus on his surroundings again.

He realized that the sharp discomfort in his spine was because he was now standing against one of the monitors, which was digging into the middle of his back.

Ford shifted so that he was leaning against the wall in a somewhat more comfortable position, and wrapped his hands around the lapels of his coat as he took a few deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, until he had regained some semblance of control again.

It's okay.

It's just a crack, not a full shattering.

Bill hasn't broken through yet.

He hasn't been able to hurt anyone.

(Even though it's only a matter of time-)

Focus!

He appeared to have slammed the cupboard shut in the midst of his distress; tentatively Ford stepped forward and opened it again.

The crack was still there, standing out darkly against the vibrant mini galaxy.

Had it grown since he'd last looked at it, or was that just his anxious imagination?

What can I do to stop it from spreading/being used against us?

Plan A: shield everyone's minds against Bill with Project Mentem immediately.

It wouldn't keep the rift from growing, but it would keep the little beast from using any of them to get his greedy claws on it.

But if I remember correctly, the encryption procedure takes ages.

And what if he finds someone else in the interim?

I don't have time to encrypt the minds of everyone in town before he decides to act! And even if Fiddleford and I worked together to reconfigure the machine, that would take time that we don't have at our disposal-

He fought down another wave of panic, and began to pace.

Plan B: put a shielding spell around the house, before traveling to Crash Site Omega and retrieving some sealing adhesive.

That seems like a more viable option; perhaps Celestabellebethabelle has mellowed out over the years and would allow me to actually take some of her hair this time, pure of heart or not. Or, failing that, I can just bring some chloroform and a good pair of scissors and-

"Uh, Ford?"


Clearly Ford had been back in his own dimension for too long; he must have grown soft if he hadn't been able to instinctively hear someone entering his lab even while he was lost in thought.

With a half-yell he spun around, twisting his face into his best attempt at a disarming smile as he took a quick step to the right, blocking the view of the cupboard.

"Nothing, everything's fine!"

…Stanley didn't look like he was buying it. He just tilted his head, and slowly folded his arms in a pose that was an eerie reflection of their mother when she could tell they were trying to pull a fast one on her.

The smile faded into a somewhat manic grimace.

…On the one hand, they had been working on being open and honest with each other about things that were important, because not doing so had done nothing but cause both of them a highly unnecessary amount of pain and anguish.

On the other hand, this was something he could-had to-handle himself; every time he involved other people, even more disasters happened, and nobody else had a personal score to settle with Bill the way he did-

"Is that the inter-whatsit rift thingy?" Stan was peering over his shoulder. "Is it supposed ta be cracked like that?"

"...No." Ford reluctantly admitted to himself that there wasn't much point in denying it. "No, it's not. It means that…it's in danger of breaking open and giving Bill access to our dimension."

Stan hissed through his newly restored teeth. "...So what're we gonna do about it?"

"There is no 'we'. I have everything under control-"

"Ford, shut up."


While Ford was still trying to splutter out a response, Stan dodged around him and deftly scooped up the rift.

"Be careful with that!" Frantically Ford checked his brother's pupils for any sign of yellow. Even if, despite Stan's personal misgivings, he was right and his brother was less likely to fall for Bill's machinations, that didn't mean he was completely non-susceptible-

"Relax, Poindexter. No one in here but yours truly." Stan cradled the rift carefully in his hands and tilted it, frowning as he looked at the crack. "...I take it super glue's not gonna cut it."

"Unfortunately not. I have, however, been considering a stronger adhesive." Ford swallowed, and gingerly took the rift back. "It's a sealant from…" despite his current emotional turmoil, a small touch of old excitement welled up in his chest, "...a place that I discovered years ago."

"That's not incredibly vague at all."

"Just tr-" Ford hesitated, rethought his words. "...It would be easier to show you. And-perhaps we could bring the children, and search for the adhesive together. Make it a family outing." Dipper would definitely be excited about the possibility of visiting an alien crash site, and even if Mabel didn't have the same passion for science that they did he suspected she might at least enjoy the opportunity to descend into the depths of the ship using a magnet gun. Or, more likely, her grappling hook.

Stan's eyes brightened for a moment…but then he frowned.

"So you're just gonna cover that thing in super strong glue and hope it works?"

"More or less. It should make the containment unit infinitely less easy to destroy, even if Bill does somehow manage to get it."

"...And how likely is it that he's gonna do that?"

Ford tried to ignore the small chill that ran down his back, and shrugged irritably. "I don't know. As long as I remain vigilant and keep it locked up, it won't be easy for him."

"But from the sound o' things, Bill's pretty stubborn, right?" Stan's words were slow, and a little uncertain, but they remained steady. "And he's immortal, unlike us, so chances are sooner or later he's gonna get hold of it, and figure out a way ta get it open. Or some chucklehead's gonna open it ta see what's that shiny thing inside-"

"Well, do you have a better idea?!" Ford snapped.

"I'm just asking, okay?!" Stan bristled back, jaw clenching. "Sorry for thinkin' ahead a little!"

He spun around, ready to storm off-but he hadn't taken two steps before a six-fingered hand closed around his arm and pulled him up short.


"...You're right."

It was odd to actually say that phrase aloud and direct it towards someone else, but it was worth seeing Stanley's anger immediately relax.

Ford gnawed his lower lip for a second, before admitting, "...I know that it's no good hiding it, or sealing it, or even putting up a sign warning future generations not to open it. I'm living proof that that method doesn't work. But…I don't know what else to do."

Stan turned to look at him again, then back at the rift. "...Same thing they did with the One Ring. Destroy it."

Did Stanley just make a casual reference to Lord of the Rings?

I am so confused and so proud at the same time. I always knew he'd like the books if he gave them a chance and could get past the parts he'd think were tedious.

"That would be ideal, yes. Unfortunately, we don't have a handy volcano capable of vaporizing rifts in space and time nearby. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Yeah, well, maybe we can get some input from the kids. If anyone can figure out how ta destroy something that's indestructible, it's them." Stan adjusted his fez, which had tilted at a crooked angle. "Or heck, maybe we can just give it ta Soos. One time I gave him some stainless steel parts for an exhibit, and when I came back ta check on him he'd somehow managed ta get 'em all rusted…"

But Ford wasn't completely listening anymore.

His eyes were fixated on the shiny golden symbol in the center of Stan's fez.

And the reminder of Dipper and Mabel had brought back memories of the blue pine tree symbol on Dipper's hat, and the shooting star on one of Mabel's favorite homemade sweaters…

Absently setting the rift on the table, and barely remembering in time to push it towards the center so he could avoid dooming the universe right then and there, Ford pulled one of his journals from his coat and began flipping through it to a passage he'd written on one of the many strange drawings in the caves of Gravity Falls.

It's a bit of a long shot…but it also might be just crazy enough to work.


...It's possible that Stan just watched the movies.

But there's also no proof that he didn't read the books at some point. :P