"Can we have take away for tea?" Lawrence asked hopefully as his mother walked down the stairs a short while later.

"Hmm?"

"Take away."

"What? Oh. No. I've got something planned, and I'm sure you get enough take away when you stay with your father." Caroline walked into the front room, frowned, then walked out and toward the kitchen.

"Are you okay, ma?" Lawrence asked.

Caroline looked at the kitchen that would need cleaning after dinner instead of just going straight up to bed. "On second thought, we can have take away, but it's Kate's pick because you know there's only a few places she trusts."

"I know she's allergic, but what actually happens when she eats nuts?"

Caroline blinked for a moment, having a sudden imagine of a heavily pregnant Kate grasping for an epipen that was just out of reach. "Google it. She's anaphylactic. KATE! Have you checked your epipen expiry? Do you have a spare? We need to get a spare . Or a couple. To keep around the house."

"Why?"Kate asked as she watched Caroline march past the stairs she was descending to rifle through Kate's bag herself, then rush back to the kitchen. "What's happened?"

"Lawrence wants take away. I just want to have the epi pen handy."

"She's being weird." Lawrence muttered to Kate as he handed her the food menus.

"Caroline, I have managed to be in control of my own allergies for several years now. I don't-" Kate stopped when she saw the panic on Caroline's face. "Caroline." Her voice said more softly as she approached.

Assuming there might be a kiss, Lawrence wisely left the room.

"I'm ok. We will get take away from somewhere I trust. Or I'll make myself something here if it will make you feel better."

Caroline shook her head, embarrassed about her sudden outburst. "No, I…I've thought of a lot of things happening and what I can do so I know if the time comes, but I hadn't thought of that."

"You can't control everything, Caroline." Kate said gently.

"I know but…what I can control, what I can make easier or better..I need to." Caroline lifted her eyes, pleading for understanding.

"Does this mean I'm going to be wrapped in cotton wool?"

"Maybe." Caroline looked down at her feet.

Kate lifted a hand to Caroline's cheek and then leaned forward to kiss her. "I can't promise I won't get cross about it sometimes, but I understand." Kate promised.

There was a brief reversal of how they had stood earlier, with Caroline's head now resting on Kate's shoulder with Kate holding her close and dropping kisses to her hair.

"I'm wasting away in here! I'm starving to death!" Called Lawrence from another room

..

Kate dialled her mothers phone number and then waited nervously for her to answer the video call.

"Two phone calls in one day." Ginika grinned as she answered. "Is Caroline scared to call me?"

"Yes, she is." Caroline called from the en suite where she was alternating between removing her make up and gazing at the pregnancy tests that neither had dared move yet.

Kate smiled, glancing up at Caroline before looking back at her mum. They'd decided, well Kate had decided, that she was the only one who would be told for at least a few weeks. "She will call you about that another day. Because there's something else to discuss right now."

"Is it the wedding? Because if we do it at Christmas I can come over for at least a few days. And I can help you-"

"I'm pregnant." Kate said the words again that a couple of hours ago she had chanted at Caroline as they'd grinned like idiots at one another.

There was silence on the other end of the phone and Ginika didn't move.

"…mum?"

And then there was a yell of happiness and her mother got up to start dancing.

"Mum!" Kate laughed. "Mum! It's early days."

"But it's another chance. It's another chance for you to… 9 months from now is..if you have the wedding at Christmas, maybe I can get extended time off. I can come for the wedding, then I can stay to help with the baby."

"Theoretically." Kate offered, her mood dropping a little. How could she plan a wedding, and carry a baby, when she had never carried a baby before, not properly. And there was a house move as well.

Sensing the mood change, Caroline took over, sitting in the bed next to Kate so she could take the phone and change the subject, at least as much as she was able, and soon she had Ginika focused on some American outrage that Caroline had read in the newspaper.

When she had assured the woman Kate was already fast asleep and would call tomorrow, Caroline hung up and put the phone down. "…blimey. I thought my mum was a handful."

"We aren't telling your mum. Not yet." Kate looked worried at the thought.

"I'd rather not tell my mother until he or she is about 18 and can start telling her to fuck off themselves."

This brought an unexpected laugh from Kate's lips as she curled into Caroline's side.

"…there are no expectations, Kate. Not from me. I don't care when or where or how we get married. And if you want to plan something then we can do it together, or I can do it all. All you need to do is relax and imagine how amazing it's going to be to be married to Caroline Dawson. She keeps the kitchen spotless, she can clean any stain from any surface, she has a jeep."

"All the reasons I fell for you in the first place." Kate giggled, moving up to kiss her fiancée.


By midday the next day Kate found herself taken off every extra list she had been on, and she knew she would be asked about it when people realised. Caroline had taken Anna off as well, probably in an attempt to look less bias, but then no one knew about Kate and she didn't want people speculating.

"Beverley, is she in?" Kate strode into the office without waiting for a reply. Caroline was sat at her desk with a dreamy look on her face, and merely smiled slowly at Kate when she entered, which threw her off. "I..I..you can't…"

Caroline stood up and walked to the door, shutting it softly, and then turned to Kate with a cheeky smile that made her eyes twinkle.

Kate kept her eyes firmly on the door. "You can't just take me off every extra duty. People will talk. And they will ask. And you've taken Anna off too, so they will assume."

Dreamy Caroline just smiled, reaching out to touch the ring that nestled somewhere she wished she could be right now.

"Caroline!" Kate said sharply to try and get her attention. "Caroline, I don't want them assuming. Or asking. Because I don't want to have to make excuses when there is no baby!"

Caroline stilled now, the dreamy look that had been driving Beverley mad all morning finally disappearing. "Kate, I-"

"I understand. But you can't do that. Not yet. If people know, if it becomes obvious, or if I just feel too sick to then I will come to you, but you can't do this yet."

"…ok." Caroline nodded reluctantly, giving a quiet "sorry." As well. "I didn't.. think it through."

Kate let out a sigh, having anticipated an argument. "Ok. Thank you."

Caroline nodded her head.

"What..what were you…when I came in, you were…" Kate finally lifted her eyes.

Dreamy Caroline was back with a slow smile. "Ah, well, you see…I did it. I made you pregnant.. And It has made me feel as good as I imagined it would."


The GP confirmed the result that evening and organised a referral for them. Kate had barely said a word, even when congratulated, and all she did when asked anything was look to Caroline in panic.

Caroline was glad now that they'd spent so many hours at night talking about babies. She felt she knew what Kate wanted as much as Kate knew herself.

Once they were out of the doctors office, however, Caroline was at sea again. What did they do now? Normal life? How could they live a normal life when Kate had stopped talking and Caroline felt like she was going to alternate between dreamy grins and floods of tears for the next 9 months.

"Kate-"

"Caroline-"

They both began at the same time.

"You go." Caroline offered.

"I just wanted to say I love you."

Caroline's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I didn't take over? Say too much?"

"You were perfect." Kate smiled, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything. It's..memories, I suppose."

Caroline drew Kate's hand to her mouth and kissed it gently. "One day, one step, one moment at a time. We can do this."

"I hope so." Kate said quietly.


The next few days were quiet for their whole household. William was studying, Lawrence was staying at his dads, and Caroline and Kate were both coming to terms with all the things going on so suddenly in their lives.

Kate had had no pregnancy symptoms at all, and despite it still being so early, it worried her. It worried her all weekend until she walked in after her students to assembly. The overwhelming smell of Lynx hit her straight in the stomach, which began to roll.

She usually loved assembly, watching Caroline walk up the aisle looking so regal. Since they'd admitted their feelings for one another, Caroline's eye would often catch hers as she walked past, and there'd be a barely contained smile like she was being cheeky even looking at Kate. It always made Kate giggle.

Today, though, Kate was more focused on breathing through the nausea that had hit her. Which was impossible.

Caroline's eye widened as someone, quickly she realised Kate, appeared from the sea of people and rushed past her, hand over her mouth. Caroline turned briefly, then caught Beverley's eye, who gave a nod and disappeared after her.

..

"Kate?" Beverly pushed open the door to the closest women's bathroom, and was greeted by the sound of someone gagging. "Kate?"

"Did Caroline see?" Kate asked, breathing out shakily as she sat back on her heels.

"She asked me to come and check on you."

"She will be worried. I should go back in." She let out another shaking breath, thankful the feeling had quickly passed.

"She should be. Have you eaten something bad? I'll take you to the nurse."

As Kate stood up and exited the stall, she shook her head, waving the suggestion away with a shaky hand. "I'm ok now. It's gone. I'll just have some water and I'll be fine."

"…if you're sure." Beverley said, looking unconvinced.

Kate splashed her face with water and took another deep breath as she patted it dry. "I'm…" she wanted to tell Beverley, she knew she should if for no other reason than she could support Caroline better if she knew. But she couldn't say it. "I've lost 4 babies."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Caroline never-"

"Not..not..when I was married. Years ago. I wanted to try one last time, so…" Kate looked down at herself.

Beverley seemed to pick up what was being said and squeezed Kate's shoulders and then rushed off to get her some cool water.

When Kate and Beverley returned, Caroline's eyes immediately followed Kate, who offered what she hoped was a reassuring smile before she made her way back to her class.

A couple of minutes later as she was sitting back watching one of the students give a speech, Caroline suddenly twitched like she was about to stand, her eyes on the back of the room. It wasn't enough for most to notice, but both her sons did and turned their heads just in time to see Kate flee from the room again.

..

"Kate! Kate?" Caroline rushed back to her office as soon as assembly was done, to find Kate sat at her desk with an ice cold bottle of water. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry." Kate swallowed, still able to smell the remnants of Lynx on Caroline's robes as she took them off. "You remember how you said you couldn't stand the smell of leather when you were pregnant?"

"…sweaty teenagers?"

"Worse. Lynx." Kate replied, almost gagging again. "It smelled like they all had a whole can on. I could taste it."

Caroline gave a relieved laugh as she rested her bum against the desk. "I couldn't smell it. Do you feel ok now?"

Kate nodded her head. "Beverley looked after me."

"Thank god Lawrence never got on the Lynx bandwagon."

"I can't say his au naturale is any better." Kate wrinkled her nose at the thought.

"Probably not." Carolone agreed, holding out a hand. "Can I walk you to class?"

"People will talk."

"Let them." Caroline replied.

She kept her hand on Kate's back the whole walk to her classroom, and then left her with a hand squeeze and a cheeky smile that made Kate grin.


"Hi."

"You caught me." Kate said through a mouthful of chocolate mousse.

William grinned. "Is that the mousse that mum said she would kill us if we ate, because it was her last one?"

"…it was looking at me when I opened the fridge. It was this or some pickles. We need to go shopping." Kate ate another mouthful.

"…I know you don't want to talk about it, or even say it out loud, but I just want to say…I know. I don't know what I could do, but if you ever need anything at all, you can ask me. And Lawrence. He's an expert at getting mum off someone's back, and I bet this will make her unbearable!"he laughed awkwardly.

"Thank you, Will." Kate squeezed his hand, making him blush.

"I cannot believe that man! He's ignored that hedge between us for years, and now I am offering to get it trimmed on his side AND pay for it, he's kicking up a fuss!" Caroline ranted as she entered the home with Lawrence trailing behind her.

Lawrence and Caroline caught sight of the almost empty mousse cup in Kate's hand at the same time.

Lawrence opened his mouth, going to intervene to stop the inevitable argument that had happened whenever his dad ate something he had been told not to.

Both boys watched in surprised silence as their mother just accepted an offered spoonful from Kate, then kissed her and asked how her day had been.

They looked at one another and could only shrug.

….

"I much, much prefer this type of food shop." Kate said happily that evening when she lay In bed with a gloriously naked fiancée, who wore her glasses on the end of her nose and peered down at her iPad adding things to the shopping cart from the list that Kate held.

"Naked food shopping?" Caroline asked. "We could start a new trend."

"As long as I'm the only one who gets to sample the goods on offer." Kate nipped at the nipple that had been maddeningly in and out from under the covers every time Caroline moved her arm.

"I'm trying to co-oh-ncentrate." Caroline reminded her half heartedly.

"It was you who wanted to do a food shop straight after sex. Naked."

"It was you who ate my last chocolate mousse, necessitating this shop." Caroline reminded her.

"Did you just use the word necessitating whilst in bed naked?"

"Might have."

"Oh, Caroline. Take me!" Kate threw herself dramatically back against the pillows with her arms spread, making Caroline laugh as she put the iPad to the side, shopping now completely forgotten.

"In the board meeting today, I used the word obsequious, I'll have you know. And I also believe I said 'Thus' at some point." Caroline offered, laughing into Kate's kisses.

Caroline briefly wondered if she had laughed more in the last few months with Kate than she had in the sum of her life before. She intended to make it last.