Chapter 2

Nikolo stood on the deck of the ship, watching Paradis slowly disappear in to the horizon as he tried to calm his still rabidly beating heart. Had the kiss been a bad move? Was it too much? He'd only had the guts to do it because he knew he could slip away without really having to know Sasha's reaction to it, but now it didn't seem like such a good thing anymore. What if he had really angered her with his last stunt? Had he ruined his chances for good? Not knowing was starting to drive him insane!

"I saw what you did" Nikolo heard a voice from behind, startling him "You really are smitten with that Eldian."

Nikolo doesn't bother answering Grior. It's not like the man would believe him even if he denied everything.

"You'll be fine" the guy said, coming to stand next to the cook. Nikolo raises a skeptical eyebrow, but doesn't say anything "I won't tell anyone."

Right, that's what he meant. If a rumor that he had feelings for an Eldian got out, he'd be ruined, if he was lucky, that is. If he was unlucky, he'd be dead. He wasn't in the best of terms with Grior, but he was grateful for this, even if it did leave him feeling like there was a catch.

"You'll get over her eventually, probably very fast in fact" Grior paused and looked at him, probably to see his reaction, but Nikolo managed to keep a neutral face. He could've denied it, but he saw no point in it either, deciding to find out what the man was getting at instead "Your feelings are understandable, considering the situation we were in. As prisoners we were all desperate and wanted to have something to cling to, something to distract us."

Nikolo didn't like where this was going.

"That woman was simply your distraction, something to bring you a sense of normalcy, not to mention being in good terms with a soldier of her position was helpfu-"

"No" Nikolo cut him off sharply without raising his voice. He knew he shouldn't say this, knew he should let Grior think what he wanted, just for the sake of his own safety if nothing else, but when it came to Sasha, his feelings tended to beat his common sense "It's nothing like that."

Grior just raised an eyebrow, seeming unimpressed, like he had expected the denial.

"You avoided execution because she and her friends defended you, didn't you?" he said "Well played."

Nikolo was about to deny it, only to realize that it was probably true. If he wasn't so close with Sasha, he probably wouldn't even be alive anymore. Still, that didn't make his feelings for her invalid.

"I have to thank you, too" Grior continued "I went around poisoning their men as well, so it wouldn't have been surprising if I'd been executed along with Yelena and the others, but since those people worked so hard to save you, I and few others got away with our lives as well in the process."

Nikolo couldn't say anything; it was all true. But still-!

"But we're safe now, so you can let go" Grior finished "That devil isn't worthy of paying any thoughts to."

Nikolo's first instinct was to punch the man for insulting Sasha, but he held back. He'd sworn to become a better man; he couldn't fail this early on. Besides, there was once a time, still fresh in his mind, that he too had referred to Sasha as a devil. It'd be hypocritical of him to get mad at Grior, not to mention those were just words. Grior knew nothing about him and Sasha; they cared for each other for real, as people, not because of what use the other could be.

…Right?

XXXXX

Sasha was eating her last meal on the beach, officially the borders of the nation of Eldia, before returning back to inside the walls. It was seafood once more and it tasted amazing, but something was… off. She didn't enjoy the meal the same way she usually did even though there was nothing wrong with the food. There was a proper amount of spices, not too little but not too much either. It didn't really seem to be the atmosphere either for other people weren't too loud but not disturbingly quiet either, no one seemed sad or angry, Jean snarling at her for stealing his clams obviously didn't count, and in general it was just peaceful. The weather was good, too.

Frowning, Sasha decides to not to ruin a good meal by worrying about things she can't understand. It's probably nothing anyway. Reaching out for her mug, she decides to take a gulp of water. It is only when she brings the mug to her lips that she understands what's missing, for the mug is empty.

Because the person who usually filled it wasn't around anymore.

When they ate, Nikolo always made sure everyone had water at hand. He made sure everyone had all the proper utensils, that everyone got their fair share and that everyone who was interested knew exactly what they were eating. In fact, he always seemed happy to tell about his dishes… but it's not like that was really the problem here. No, Sasha didn't miss him because of how useful he was, his presence just made meals… different. He would often scold Sasha for her bad table manners, telling her she looked stupid and kept telling her to slow down and not speak with her mouth full for she might choke. Normally, people would be annoyed about something like that she guessed, but she knew Nikolo only did it because he cared; she still remembered clearly how much he had panicked that one and only time that she almost did choke on her food. She ate a little slower after that… for a few days, that is. And it's not like Nikolo was there with her during her every meal, not even close.

She also missed cleaning the dining area with him. Whenever she wasn't too busy, she stayed behind to help Nikolo clean the place up, starting ahead as Nikolo ate. He always waited for the others to finish before starting his own meal, claiming that his duty as a chef was to confirm everyone else was well fed first. Sasha had always admired his determination on the matter.

They also talked a lot while cleaning; Sasha had learned so much from him during these talks, mostly about food, but also some personal information about Nikolo. It was very rare of him to share anything like that and he always seemed hesitant, but she did know some things, like the fact that he was the middle one of five children, having two sisters and two brothers. And that his older brother liked to call him Nicky, which he absolutely hated. Sasha didn't understand why, it sounded like a cute nickname, but she had made a mental note to not to call him that. She also wouldn't have minded knowing more; she was interested in knowing what his life had been like before he got to Paradis.

"Whatever it was like, he gets to continue it now" she thought, happy for him.

Yet she still wished he was here with her.

XXXXX

The ship finally docked. Nikolo could see the crowds, both soldiers and civilians alike, cheering in the harbor. It made him feel lighter, for he had wondered if they'd be welcomed home as heroes who survived in the hands of the devils or as disgraceful failures who got caught by the enemy. Seems like the answer is the former and it lifted a weight off his shoulders.

As Nikolo walked down the ramp, seeing his comrades embrace their loved ones as they reached them, he wondered if his own family was here too. He had been the black sheep of the family for years before leaving and his last meeting with his father hadn't gone all that well. Had they bothered to come to see him? Did they even believe him to be alive anymore? How were they doing? Were his older siblings married by now? Could they even have kids? Was their grandfather still alive? What if-?

"Nicky!" Nikolo would recognize that voice and that awful nickname anywhere. Turning around, he did indeed see his older brother ways off at the edge of the crowd, waving at him. He couldn't exactly see who was with him, but the man certainly wasn't alone. As much as the former prisoner wanted to rush over to his brother, he wanted to show some dignity and simply gave a small wave back to show that he'd noticed them as he calmly walked over. As he got closer, he noticed that the ones present with his brother were his mother and his grandfather from his father's side.

His father wasn't there.

"My son, you're finally home!" his mother cried out, throwing her arms around his neck as he finally reached them. Tears gathered in his eyes as he hugged her back, yet he couldn't stop wondering where his father was, why wasn't he here with them.

"Who would've thought little Nicky would actually survive" his brother mocked, just like he had always done, but it was different this time. This time, the smile on his face wasn't a cunning smirk but a genuine, relieved smile. The man opened up his arms for a hug and, after his mother finally let go, Nikolo went for it, only to be caught in a headlock with his brother ruffling his hair with his fist. Gosh, he should've known, but it had been so many years; weren't they both too old for this!? His brother was laughing, as usual. When he finally let go, he pulled Nikolo in to a hug, a proper one this time "It's good to see you again, little brother."

"Good to see you too" Nikolo said, grumbling as an honest after thought "Even if you did manage to kill the mood quite a bit."

His brother laughed, letting go of him as their grandfather cleared his throat. Right, he'd still have to deal with the strict head of the family. Turning to look at the old man, Nikolo saw him using a cane that certainly was nowhere to be seen when he had left nine years ago. Age seemed to have caught up with the man in other ways, too.

"Grandfather" he greeted with a serious face "It's good to see you doing well."

Greet politely. Don't show emotion. Wait for the one above you to speak. These were all rules that had been drilled to Nikolo's head since he could remember… and rules that he had left completely unused while in Paradis knowingly, first because he didn't intend to show those people any respect, but later because it would've been weird to change the way he treated them midway.

"Don't think about that now" he scolded himself "Be the perfect grandson he wanted you to be, that you wanted to be!"

"Nikolo" his grandfather stated "It seems you are in good health as well. Takes more than an army of devils to put down my grandson I see."

Nikolo chose to ignore the insult about the people of Paradis and concentrate on the positive side of what he said. And it wasn't even hard.

"I believe it runs in the family" he said "Not that I can ever be as great of a soldier as great grandfather was."

Yes, his great grandfather had been a soldier. It had been one of the things that had inspired Nikolo to be one too, for despite the man having died long before Nikolo's birth, he'd heard stories. Lots of inspiring stories and he'd always heard the respect in his grandfather's voice when he spoke of his own father, respect that Nikolo himself had always yearned for. Could returning alive from Paradis bring him closer to reaching that level of respect?

"In terms of power, no you couldn't" his grandfather agreed "But being a soldier isn't only about brute strength, especially if the battle gets drawn out. My father had his fair share of long battles in the front line, but none of them certainly lasted for nine years" the old man said, suddenly pulling Nikolo in to a powerful hug "Physical strength and visible military achievements aside, you are already far greater soldier than my father ever was."

At first, Nikolo didn't hug the man back, too stunned to react. He didn't remember ever seeing his grandfather hug anyone, ever, especially not him. And he knew the man respected no one as much as his long-gone father, and yet… and yet here he was, saying this.

"Welcome home, Nikolo" the young man was only broken out of his trance when his grandfather said this. Tears breaking free from his eyes, he hugged the man back.

XXXXX

Sasha was going home. There was still a lot to do, but after a sudden rollcall, Levi had decided to give his whole squad few weeks off out of the blue, claiming that the Survey Corp's elite soldiers didn't need to be constantly ready for battle anymore, so they might as well take it easy for once. They had deserved it, he'd said. They had gotten an unnatural number of compliments, both direct and indirect, from their captain. So much so that Sasha had doubted he was sick, trying his forehead with her hand.

Naturally, that was where the compliments ended as the startled short man ordered them all out of his sight to start their vacation. Sheepishly, Sasha had been the first to run off, Connie joining her almost right away. After Jean joined them, she had suggested that the three of them would go touring the newly built cities outside the walls and while Jean had agreed, Connie had shot the idea down, stating that they should go visit their families now that there was finally peace. Sasha had almost said that there'd be time for that later but, from behind Connie, Jean had shushed her, reminding without words just how delicate of a matter family was to Connie. Of course, they should visit their families, she had realized, because anything could happen at any moment.

Just like to Connie's family.

That had made her more reluctant to go. Armin and Mikasa were going to return to Shiganshina, they'd been talking about doing so the moment they had enough free time, and if Jean went home too, Connie'd be alone. Well, not literally, but he didn't have a home to go back to. After all these years, Ragako was still nothing but wrecked ruins, abandoned by all. Jean seemed to had have similar thoughts since he'd said that he'd only go back to Trost if Connie went with him. As her best friend had protested, Jean had bluntly told him to cut the crap, for they were family. Sasha had smiled then, knowing that Connie couldn't go denying it since he had been the first to say it out loud six years ago. Apparently, Connie had known it too for he had agreed, and they had also decided that on the next vacation he'd tag along with her. It's not like anyone at home would mind.

Sasha's thoughts immediately returned to her family, mainly the kids they'd taken in who were no longer kids, not really. She hadn't seen them in a while, but she bet they were happy that the war was finally over; they'd been through so much because of it, losing their families, their homes, getting thrown in a cell by the Yeagerists- Sasha shuddered at the last part. She'd forgiven Eren the fact that his careless plan almost killed her and the things he'd done in order to reach peace, but in the end, she'd never been able to forgive him for dragging her family, those innocent children, in to the war far more heavily than was necessary. Nothing could ever make up for their pain and fear.

And Kaya. Sweet, kind Kaya, how much she'd suffered. After Sasha had recovered enough to get out of the bed on her own, the girl who'd been even quieter than usual had confessed to her that she'd known the two children she'd helped were Marleyans. She'd cried so much, apologizing to her over and over again, swearing that she didn't know, that she didn't mean any harm. Of course, Sasha had believed that and told her so, but it took her weeks to convince the girl that everything really was okay. And as a cherry on top, her parents had later told her how close Kaya had become to "Ben" and "Mia", so the two being enemies must've hurt her most of all even though everyone had been shocked.

But that was all in the past and everything was fine now. Kaya and the other three wouldn't have to suffer anymore; Sasha would make sure of that.

XXXXX

It had taken hours before Nikolo and his family were able to leave the harbor. It made sense of course; everyone's identities had to be rechecked just in case something had gone wrong while going over people before leaving Eldia. Now that that was done though they were all taking a carriage ride to the hotel they were supposed to stay at before going home by train tomorrow. After the hotel room door was shut, Nikolo finally got out the question that had been bothering him: "Where are father and the others?"

His sisters and younger brother hadn't been there to greet him, either.

"Father is at work; we couldn't both leave at the same time after all" his brother told, making Nikolo hold back a sigh. Right, of course his father had chosen the company over him "Viktor couldn't just skip school; he's studying law you see" Nikolo was more surprised than he should be, he supposed "Natalie's heavily pregnant, she's married of course, so it wasn't safe for her to come such a long journey" his little sister, pregnant? "And Bianka was supposed to be there, but it seems something came up. That's not so surprising, considering she has two small children to take care of."

So even his twin sister was married and with a family now? Gosh, so much had changed! Of course, it was natural, it'd been nine years after all, but even so, it felt so absurd. What next…hm?

"Are you married?" he asked, turning to his brother, immediately checking his hand. No ring.

"Not yet, no" the man said "But soon."

He didn't explain any further, but Nikolo took it to mean that his brother was in a serious relationship. How lucky.

"Ulrich is engaged to one of the daughters of the Niehues family" their grandfather explained "She's a very well mannered, proper young woman."

"With a very high status" Nikolo added in his mind, knowing full well who the Niehues family were, but kept his mouth shut "Of course, the heir to the company would be married to a daughter of an important noble family. Father would accept no less."

"I see" he said "Who are Natalie and Bianka married to?"

To be honest he couldn't care less as long as his sisters were happy, but being interested in the status of his in laws was what was expected of him. He might be a little rusty, but this stuff had melted down to his bones by now.

"Bianka married the eldest son of the Diermissen family" Nikolo knew that name as well; they were merchants with huge influence over the markets. By no means a bad marriage, he knew. As his grandfather didn't continue, he asked: "And Natalie?"

He regretted it the second he asked, for his mother turned away and his brother pretended not to hear him. The look on his grandfather's face didn't promise anything good, either.

"Natalie has made some unwise choices in her life" was all he said, and it came with a tone that said the conversation was over. Not that Nikolo needed to hear more; it clearly meant that Natalie had married someone their family didn't approve of. He felt bad for little Natalie- well, not so little anymore he supposed, for not being in good terms with the family, but he was also happy for her, because if she'd married someone the family didn't approve of that could only mean she'd married out of love. And during the past nine years Nikolo had learned nothing was more important than love.

"Isn't that right, Sasha?"

A.N: Yes, I'm making up a backstory and a family for Nikolo. Most likely I'll need to come up with a last name for him as well, not to mention names for the kids at the Blouse house.