Chapter 5

"Dad's going to be mad when he hears about this" Ulrich told Nikolo as they walked down the street "And so will grandfather."

"I'm going to do this no matter how mad they get and I'm sure they already know that" was the cook's reply "If you're so worried about their anger you shouldn't have come with me; I could've found my way with just the address."

"Yeah, you probably could have" Ulrich told as they rounded another corner in the poorer neighborhood "But I haven't seen Natalie in a while either, in fact not since father disowned her."

Nikolo sighed, feeling sorry for his little sister. To think that falling in love and marrying a servant had been all it took for his parents to abandon their own daughter… real parents of the year. Well, maybe they'd soften up with time… then again, maybe not. As far as he knew, his parents were status first -kind of people no matter what.

"But maybe I'm wrong; with the way they welcomed me back…" he thought absentmindedly. It hadn't been an act on his mother's part; she'd actually missed him, the black sheep. And while his father hadn't really even said much, in the man's case actions spoke louder than words. And his actions told Nikolo a lot.

"What kind of person is Natalie's husband exactly?" he asked. He'd find out eventually, either from Natalie or by meeting the man, but some ground information wouldn't hurt. His brother however, just shrugged "I don't know, other than him being a hard worker. He was one of our servants, was training to be in charge of all of them before he got kicked out for his indecent relationship with Natalie."

"Indecent, huh…" Nikolo muttered, deciding to ask: "Did she get pregnant before they married?"

Nikolo wasn't prepared for it, so he couldn't dodge Ulrich when he swatted him on the head.

"Hey!"

"What do you take our little sister for, a whore?" the man asked "It didn't get that indecent; the point is that he's a servant. Geez Nicky, you're an ass."

He was the ass here? He thought, and still did, that it was a logical question.

"So, the only problem is his social status?" Nikolo asked, making Ulrich nod "Naturally. You haven't lost your touch and completely forgotten how the world, our world, works, have you?"

"No" he said, and he really hadn't. It had all stayed in the back of his mind for all these years, being at the bottom of social hierarchy as a war prisoner reminding him of the rules of the world better than anything, but things had looked so much different from the bottom. He who'd been born to a good family got a completely different look at the world when he'd become a prisoner and the military police had made sure he knew his new place "But Sasha never gave a damn."

She'd treated him like an equal from the start and as a friend soon after. She, who was near the top of their society, being an elite soldier and all, had gone out of her way to become his friend and look after him. At first, Nikolo had been convinced it was because she wanted information from him and was trying to trick him to dropping his guard, trick him in to talking. Later, he had been sure she was there for food and food only, recognizing his skills as a cook. These days, while he was sure the later was a big part of it, he was also sure that she had also come to see him so often because she was simply a good person at heart. She wanted him and the other prisoners to be at ease, she definitely did.

Now he just wished he could've been the kind of friend she deserved from the start.

"Nicky, we're here" Ulrich said, and it was only then that Nikolo noticed that his brother had stopped walking and he'd gone slightly ahead. Oops "Something on your mind?"

"Just thinking about the past nine years" he answered truthfully, having a feeling that his brother would get too uncomfortable to ask about any details. And judging from his face, he was right.

"Right…" Ulrich said, awkwardly asking: "Do you want to talk about it… or something?"

"Not what we came here for, is it?" Nikolo asked, taking a note of how relieved his older brother looked. He usually had, or at least had had, a way better poker face than this. Perhaps his capture was somehow a sorer subject for his family than he had thought. Huh.

"No, it's not" his brother agreed "Let's see if Nat's home… although at this time of the day she probably is considering how far her pregnancy is."

They walked in to an apartment complex and up the stairs, all the way to the third floor. By no means hard for them, but Nikolo worried about the safety of his heavily pregnant sister. Looking around, he took a note of how the paint was peeling off the walls and how they had little cracks in them. It was a little dirty and it smelled, too.

"A depressing place, isn't it?" Ulrich asked "How she can stand living here I have no idea."

"It's not that bad" Nikolo said, continuing without really thinking "I've been stuck in much worse places."

Again, that awkward and uncertain look rose to his brother's face. He really shouldn't bring these things up he supposed, at least not with Ulrich around, but it wasn't that easy to keep his mouth shut when something reminded him of those times. They were simply a part of him now.

Ulrich didn't say anything though, and it was better that way. While Nikolo brought it up without thinking, he certainly didn't want to be questioned about his time on Paradis, mostly because he didn't want to slip something that might cause him trouble.

The older man knocked on an old, worn out wooden door and stayed to wait for an answer. Soon Nikolo could hear footsteps coming closer to the door. Then the door opened just a bit with a woman peeking out. Nikolo couldn't see her clearly, but from what little he saw he could tell it really was their sister.

"Ulrich?" she muttered as she caught sight of him, opening the door a little wider "What are you doing here?"

"I brought Nicky over" Ulrich got right to the point, stepping aside a little so that the woman would see Nikolo. Realizing that Natalie hadn't expected him to be there, like she wasn't even told of his return, he became a little uncomfortable. This was probably quite a shock to her "Hi Nat."

Natalie stared for a while, clearly having trouble with processing what she was seeing and hearing.

"Nikolo…?"

"Yeah" he confirmed with a small, awkward smile "I'm back."

Natalie stared for a while longer before throwing the floor open, running right to surprised Nikolo's arms.

"You're home…" she muttered as she hugged her brother who was hugging her back "You're home, you're okay and you're home…"

They just stood there hugging each other, for how long, Nikolo didn't know, but they were brought back to reality as Ulrich cleared his throat.

"Not that I really want to interrupt, but we should probably go inside before we attract the neighbor's attention" he said "Really Nat, he won't disappear if you let go for a second."

As one, the younger siblings glared at their older brother. Nikolo scoffed; Ulrich could be so insensitive sometimes… but he did have a point.

"He's right" the cook said "Can we come in?"

"Of course, of course" Natalie said, letting go. She seemed to hesitate before doing so, and Nikolo was torn if he should consider that amusing or touching. Well, maybe a bit of both "I'm sorry it's so dirty in here."

Nikolo almost, almost let it slip again that he had been in worse places, but this time he caught himself, thankfully. It would just upset Natalie and, unlike their older brother, she might ask some questions. Or not; he honestly had no idea with how long they'd been apart.

They went inside, and Nikolo took a good look at his surroundings. The place was actually pretty tidy, but by dirty Natalie must've meant those old stains that she had probably tried to scrub off but couldn't. There were cracks too and paint was peeling off here and there, but there was no clutter or dust. It seemed that his sister, despite never having done any housework as a child, had learned how to take care of her home. Not that he could be sure it was her doing, but he doubted it was anyone else since she clearly couldn't afford servants… unless it was her mother in law's doing? Or her husband's?

"I should give her a bit more credit; if I was able to adapt, why couldn't she?" Nikolo told himself. Natalie had always been a smart girl after all; it was no wonder she was able to handle herself.

"Sit down, I'll make some tea" Nikolo sat down on the couch without hesitation, noticing how Ulrich looked at the furniture doubtfully before carefully sitting down. Snorting, Nikolo whispered: "Couches don't bite, brother."

"It could have fleas" Ulrich hissed back with a glare and Nikolo just laughed, knowing all too well that he had been very similar once, too.

Natalie handed them the tea, putting a cookie plate on the table while at it, before asking: "When did you come back? How did you come back?"

"You know there's now peace between Marley and Eldia, right?" when Natalie nodded hesitantly, Nikolo continued "They released most of us because of it, so I came back on a warship along with the others."

"That… makes sense" Natalie said, but it didn't take a genius to figure out she was holding something back "To be honest I… I thought you would never come home; that you'd already be dead. I'm sorry."

Nikolo averted his eyes, thinking. He knew he should say something to that, but didn't know what. He didn't want to lie, nor did he want to say anything that would upset Natalie, for it might cause harm to her and the baby.

"It's fine; it's not like any of you could've known what went on over there" he finally settled on "I'm not saying my life was easy the past nine years, but it certainly could've been worse. And everything's fine now, so you don't have to worry."

Natalie stared at him and for a moment Nikolo wondered if his reply was too thought out, if it sounded too rehearsed. It probably did.

"Are you sure?" Natalie asked, confirming Nikolo's suspicions "Do you… want to talk about it?"

Ulrich didn't like the idea; Nikolo could see it on his face from the corner of his eye. The guy was tactful enough to keep his mouth shut, though.

"Maybe someday" he said, smiling as he proceeded to change the subject: "What I'd like to talk about now is your husband. How did you two ended up together?"

Their older brother seemed to like this topic even less, judging from his face. Could it be that he had lied earlier about how little he knew, simply not wanting to talk about it? Nikolo certainly wouldn't put it past him.

"Ah, well… that is…" as his sister stutters, the soldier realizes that she's not too comfortable with this topic either "But why?"

Going through options in his mind, it suddenly hits him.

"It's not like I'm judging you" Nikolo says, making Natalie's previously averted eyes to hastily meet his "I'm just curious on how you managed to find love."

Again, Ulrich doesn't like what he's saying. Now it's even clearer than before, but now Nikolo cares even less than earlier. His brother can think what he wants; what was important right now was Natalie.

"Well, he worked for us and- "Natalie started after some hesitation, telling him, and Ulrich who clearly didn't want to hear, how she'd been drawn to a servant, what had made her fall in love and what had made her choose him over her own family. Nikolo couldn't help but smile softly at it all. His sister's ability to find love, her bravery to actually keep it up despite what their family thought-

That suddenly brought Sasha to his mind again. Relationships between Eldians and other races were strictly forbidden outside of Paradis; even if he would one day be lucky enough to have Sasha answer to his feelings, he could never let his family know. Of course, he'd always known this, but now the facts hit him harder than ever. It made his smile dim a little, and he realized that Natalie had noticed it only when she stopped talking.

"Brother, what's wrong?" she asked before Nikolo could hide his sadness.

"It's… nothing" he says "Just a bit jealous I suppose; you've found love and a way to stick with the one that matters to you the most. I can't imagine anything better."

Natalie stared at him, surprised, but then her face broke in to a bright smile. One that faded as Ulrich said: "Get your head away from the clouds and come back to reality, Nicky."

"Excuse me?" Nikolo said with a scowl, turning fully to face his brother. That look on his face… he was starting to look and sound like the Ulrich he remembered "Do you have something to say?"

"Look, I get it that you must be traumatized from being stuck with the devils and all" Ulrich said with a sigh, either ignoring or not noticing how Nikolo narrowed his eyes at him "But, like you've said, it's over now and you're safe, so it's time for you to start looking ahead. Set goals, get your life in order and forget any ridiculous dreams and ideals. If those kept you going the last nine years, good, but the time for them has passed now."

"Deep breaths, Nikolo, deep breaths" the soldier told himself. He wasn't the naïve, easy to rile up teenager who he used to be anymore. Nor was he the unstable war prisoner who had tried to kill a child, not anymore. He was, or at least he was going to be, a man worthy of Sasha's kindness and, if he was lucky enough, love. He could handle this in a mature, proper, non-violent way.

"It's not like you're entirely wrong" he said "But I assure you, I have already set myself goals to aim for and I will give my all, in order to reach them. It'll be hard, but I can do it, I'm not being too unrealistic."

He wasn't lying. His goals were to become a better person, return to Paradis and earn Sasha's love. The only part he was unsure of was if the idea of being able to return was really realistic or not. Maybe his head had indeed been stuck in the clouds, thinking he'd get back easily. But even so…

"Still, who says I can't do that and believe in love?" Nikolo asks "If anything kept me going when I was stuck in a cell, beaten and humiliated by the Paradis soldiers, love did!"

Perhaps he had said too much. Perhaps he shouldn't have brought up his time in the cells after being imprisoned for poisoning the soldiers, but all he said had been true. It was his love for Sasha, seeing her smile, hearing her voice that had kept him believing in to a better future, that had kept him alive. Well, Sasha and Jean. While Sasha had kept him from wanting to kill himself or just wither away, it had been Jean who'd kept the angry MPs at bay, threatening them in to not beating him up too badly. He supposed he still owed some kind of proper thanks to the man one day.

A sudden, loud gasp from Natalie brought him out of his musings. Turning to look at her, he saw her covering her mouth with a certain sparkle in her eyes. He knew that look.

"Uh oh"

"You have someone you love!" she said, making Nikolo curse in his mind. He hadn't really said much yet had still managed to mess up "Who is she? Have you been thinking of her all these years? Have you gone see her yet!?"

"Do you seriously think she's still waiting for you?" Ulrich asked, apparently having come to the same conclusion as their sister. Well, Nikolo's traitorous, reddening face probably aided that.

"She is" Nikolo said with an even, calm tone, surprising even himself "And I will see her again when the time is right."

He held his siblings disbelieving, surprised gazes with a steady one of his own. Yes, Sasha would wait for him. Even if she didn't answer his feelings, even if she was already in love with another when he got back, she'd keep waiting for him, wanting to see him again, for that was what they had promised each other.

Right?

XXXXX

"Keep your arms and your stance steady" Sasha advised with a firm tone that told anyone listening that she was used to it "Take aim, and let go."

The child in front of her released the bow, the arrow flying unsteadily, not getting even half way to the target. Sasha smiled, saying: "Don't worry; your stance is getting a lot better. You just need more strength."

The little girl didn't look too happy, but nodded anyway, making space for Sasha's next student. She was teaching archery for the sake of hunting to the village kids. Of course, they normally learned from other experienced hunters, but when the children had heard that the elite soldier who grew up in their village was back for a vacation, everyone wanted to learn from her. And this happened often.

"Well it's fine as long as they listen to me" Sasha thought. It's not like she didn't like kids, but she wasn't fond of the trouble they could cause. Fortunately, these little ones admired her and eagerly listened to her advice and orders, treating her with respect. The only times they got on her nerves and gave her trouble were when they argued about who was the best or who'd get to learn from her directly next… right like now.

"I'm going first!" one of the boys, perhaps around the age of eight, said "You got to go before me last time!"

"But I was here first!" another boy, probably a little younger than the other, protested "Dad said that early bird gets the worm!"

"But are you a bird?" the older boy asked, making some other kids laugh as he asked: "Do you want worms?"

That shut the other boy up, and to Sasha it looked like he was ready to cry. Feeling bad for the little one, she decided to go over before it would all escalate any further.

"Boys boys, you won't learn anything by fighting each other" she told them, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. Turning to look at the younger one, she confirmed: "You were here first?"

The little one nodded, making Sasha smile at him.

"Then you're first. Your father is right; the early bird gets the worm and the early hunter gets the pray" she told, and the teary-eyed boy's face instantly brightened "That's not fair."

Sasha turned to the older boy who had spoken, seeing him pouting: "My mom said that it's good manners to share and take turns."

The boy wasn't wrong and Sasha knew this, but how could she admit that and keep a hold of her hunter's principles at the same time?

"There's a time and place for taking turns and sharing" Sasha turned to look behind her, seeing her father come over "Us hunters have to learn that as well, so we can do so when needed, but we don't always have to do so. It's good to take care of others in turn if they've taken care of you, or if they can't take care of themselves, but those who can stand on their own feet should do just that."

Mister Blouse patted the older boy on the head, saying: "You're a strong boy with a strong pair of feet, aren't ya? Stand tall with them and use them to be the first one here next time" he turned to the younger one "But of course, when you're nice to someone they're likely to be nice to you later. What do you say, can your friend here get your place this one time?"

The smaller boy frowned, clearly not liking the idea, and Sasha was sure that he'd say no but, to her surprise, he agreed.

"But just this once" the little boy added "If he wants to go before me again, he has to work for it."

"Well that's fair, isn't it?" her father asked, making the older boy and the rest of the kids agree. Sasha smiled in relief, glad that she didn't have a fight in her hands. Her father was a genius.

XXXXX

"You really think that girl of yours is still waiting for you?" Ulrich asked as he and Nikolo walked back home "I didn't even know you had a girl."

"It's complicated" Nikolo said truthfully "But I'll make things work with her somehow."

He would, he definitely would, assuming that Sasha returned his feelings. That was his worst problem, even worse than the fact that she was from Paradis and he was not. If she didn't answer his feelings, all was for nothing. But he couldn't know without trying.

"I should've just confessed before I left… if she had turned me down then I could be moving on now and if she had accepted, I would probably be able to think more clearly" he realized with a sigh "I really didn't think this through."

"Is she someone father will accept?" Ulrich asked. Nikolo had known he would "I'll work my way around it."

"That's a no, then" his brother said with a snort "You know that if father doesn't approve then that's that; you have to choose between her and us, the way Natalie did."

"If only that was my biggest problem" Nikolo thought, not saying anything. The fact that a relationship between him and Sasha would be illegal on Marley was a far bigger issue, even if he did want his family's approval "I just got them back; I'd rather not lose them again."

Nikolo stopped walking as he felt his brother's hand on his shoulder.

"Whatever you have in mind, just promise me you won't do anything big without carefully thinking it through" Nikolo wouldn't have been surprised by the warning if it had come in a mocking tone, but his brother actually sounded… worried? "Promise me, Nicky."

"Sure thing" he said. He'd learned it the hard way that acting on impulse usually didn't bring the best results "You're being awfully sentimental today."

"You still think of me as an immature asshole, don't you?" Ulrich asked, but when Nikolo opened his mouth he quickly added: "Actually, don't answer that."

The soldier could only snort.

"We're adults now, Nicky" the eldest son said "Not a pair of cocky teens trying to outdo each other. Furthermore, while I can never imagine what it was really like, I know you've gone through a lot. I'm just worried about you, both your current state and your future."

"…Like I said, you're being awfully sentimental today" Nikolo said awkwardly, looking away as he scratched his head "But thanks. Really, I appreciate it. Back on the ship I actually wondered if people would shun all of us as failures who got caught by the enemy, but…"

"But it was more like a heroes' welcome?" Ulrich guessed and Nikolo nodded. He would've been too embarrassed to say that out loud himself "Come now Nicky, you think people would shun you for something like that? You guys did all you could and you did it for our homeland. Calling you heroes would probably be overdoing it, but you are inspiration to the other soldiers. You are the people who went straight to hell, lived among the devils and came back to tell the tale."

Now that was overdoing it; it hadn't been that bad. Better not to say it though.

"Well, since we're now adults instead of bratty teenagers" Nikolo brought up his brother's earlier point "How about you drop that bratty nickname?"

"Never" Ulrich said with a grin, not missing a beat as he took his protesting brother to a headlock again "You are and always will be our Nicky."