Chapter 11

Nikolo was frustrated, having a hard time swallowing the fact that he had been forbidden from going to Paradis a second time. The first he could understand; he understood that he was viewed as someone who might be too traumatized, but the second refusal? That was unnecessary; he was perfectly fine!

"What if I won't be allowed to go next time, either?" Nikolo wondered, running a little faster. It'd been eight months; he wanted to see Sasha already "If only I had a photo at least…"

But that would've been dangerous, he knew. That's why he'd left the one photo he had of Sasha, one also including him, Jean and Connie, behind when he left Paradis. Had it ended up in wrong hands, there would've been trouble.

"Maybe I can get in to the next group" Nikolo reminded himself. Apparently, volunteers would no longer be asked for, but certainly his willingness to go the two first times would be taken in to account. He'd be a natural choice.

"You look sour today" Nikolo was startled, having not expected to hear the voice of another person. Looking behind himself, he saw that two by now very familiar faces had caught up with him "Something wrong?"

"…Just some work trouble" Nikolo said as the Eldian came to jog beside him, the other one running slightly ahead. It would have been a disturbing sight for an outsider to see, a Marleyan casually running with a pair of Eldians. Not too long ago Nikolo wouldn't have believed that he'd be doing this either, but here he was with the pair of Eldian brothers who'd he'd ran in to shortly after returning home. Ever since Nikolo had helped the other one, the younger one called Herbert, the pair had been less cautious of the soldier whenever they encountered him on their runs. Of course, they had gotten to know each other slowly. After Herbert had gotten injured, it had taken a month before Nikolo saw either of them again. When he did, the older one, Helmut was his name, had hesitantly addressed Nikolo, thanking him for the help. Herbert had joined his brother at the time, but had let the older one do most of the talking. After that, they had started to exchange verbal greetings when running in to each other. At some point, Nikolo wasn't sure exactly when, they'd actually talked to each other. Sometimes, like now, they ran together for a while, but not without precautions. If the soldier caught up with the two or the Eldians caught up with him, Herbert would always jog slightly ahead, keeping an eye out for other people. The route was mostly deserted, but if they did come across someone, Nikolo and Helmut would quickly take distance from each other to avoid getting in to trouble. What they were doing was stupid, the cook knew. The risks were simply too high, it's not like he really even knew these two, but he couldn't help himself. This was another way for him to keep from forgetting what he'd learned in Paradis.

"Troublesome boss?" Helmut asked, hastily adding: "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's fine" Nikolo assured him, knowing that despite being able to start a conversation now, Helmut was still uncomfortable with talking to a Marleyan "And you could say that. They don't seem to believe in my skills, which can get… a little frustrating."

The soldier kept his answer vague, not wanting to give away too many details. The brothers didn't even know that he was a soldier "If they did, they'd probably do their all to avoid me."

Helmut hummed, seeming to be thinking about it, before asking: "Is there any way for you to prove them wrong?"

"Not unless they give me an opportunity, no" the man said with a sigh "But that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon."

Nikolo saw Herbert glance at them. The man never spoke to him unless he addressed him first, and only spoke to his brother in front of Nikolo if he deemed it necessary. He was also always the one running ahead, never by the soldier's side. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the younger one was even more cautious of him than the older one. Whet ever it was because he was responsible, had more bad experiences than his brother or was simply the more pessimistic one, Nikolo didn't know.

"How about you two?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going "Everything going alright?"

"Everything's normal, yeah" Helmut replied, and Nikolo didn't miss the fact that normal didn't automatically mean alright when it came to Eldians, but chose not to point it out. There was nothing he could do about it anyway, was there?

"Brother" Herbert spoke suddenly, tapping his left tight as the two looked at him. That was a sign that someone was coming. Picking up his space, Helmut caught up with his brother. Even if someone had seen him by Nikolo's side, it would look like they had been running side by side for a small moment just by coincidence.

Two male joggers, Marleyans, passed them, sneering at the brothers, the other one muttering something that Nikolo didn't quite hear, but what was obviously an insult. Thankfully, they didn't do more than that.

When they passed Nikolo they nodded in greeting, the cook nodding right back, not wanting to draw any attention to himself. When he was sure that the pair was out of hearing and seeing range, the cook jogged up to his earlier companions again.

"Are you two alright?" the brothers were startled by his actions once more, it was clear as day, but soon the cook got an answer, from the younger brother to his surprise "Yeah, all good."

XXXXX

"Are you okay Sasha? You've seemed a little down today" Samuel asked as they patrolled the harbor together with Connie. Smiling slightly, Sasha said: "Yeah, I'm fine."

Samuel didn't look like he believed her, and neither did Connie for that matter. She supposed her smile wasn't convincing enough "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just… miss people" Sasha didn't miss Connie's glance aimed her way. She was thankful he didn't say anything. Samuel was still watching her, but nodded after a while "It's been a while since your last time home, hasn't it?"

"…Yeah" Sasha said. It wasn't what she meant and she was sure Connie knew it, but there was no point in pulling Samuel in to this, especially when she was still trying to piece everything together herself.

"There will be a longer vacation for everyone stationed here soon, though, even if it might take some time to get our turns" Samuel said with a smile "They'll be long enough for all of us to visit our famili- ah."

He stopped abruptly, and Sasha knew why "Sorry Connie, I didn't mean- "

"It's fine" Connie interrupted him "I'm just gonna tag along with Sasha during the vacation anyway; I have a report to give."

"Huh?" Sasha blinked "What report?"

"Nothing official; I just promised your father to take care of you" Connie said, grinning "At least until someone else steps in to handle it officially, that is."

Samuel was stifling his laughter, Sasha realized. She frowned; there was clearly some joke here that she was not getting.

"What are you trying to say, Connie?" her frown deepened as she heard Samuel's laughter get louder "And what are you laughing at?"

Samuel didn't answer her, but seemed to make no effort in stopping his laughing, either. Huffing, Sasha crossed her arms "Seriously you two, what?"

"Don't worry about it; it'll probably still take quite a while before I can drop this position" Connie said with a wink. Sasha tried to think about it, but couldn't piece together just what Connie was saying "Ugh, whatever."

"You guys are weird" Sasha said, giving up and starting to walk away, knowing that the two would follow soon. Sure enough, she heard Samuel call out: "Sasha wait, we were just joking!"

Sasha felt a small smile rise to her face as she quickened her pace, deciding to play angry. Time for her to mess with them.

XXXXX

"I'm home" Nikolo called out clearly, knowing that at this time of the night his father would most likely be at home as well. He didn't take it well when someone in the family mumbled their greetings.

"Welcome back Honey" his mother said "We've already eaten, but I'll tell the cook to heat up your dinner."

"Thank you, mother," to be honest, Nikolo had made sure to stay away long enough to miss the dinner. It's not like he didn't want to spend time with his family, but too much was just too much. And he'd lived together with them for way too long.

"But it's not like I hope to be situated elsewhere; might make getting to Paradis harder" he reminded himself "Still, getting back to the dorms would be a welcomed change."

"So, you finally decided to show up, eh Nicky?" Ulrich asked, making Nikolo scowl. He would've been gone longer had he known his brother wanted something … fortunately, he had no time to bother Nikolo that much anymore as he had gotten married four months ago. When he was home, his new wife kept him busy. Nikolo didn't really have an opinion on his sister in law, but he was grateful to get some peace from his brother.

"What, you need me for something?" Nikolo asked, not wanting to make a scene. He was too tired for Ulrich's tricks right now.

"You have a guest" Ulrich told "Not a woman, though. Just when are you going to introduce that love of your life or whatever to us?"

Most likely never, for that was safer, but Ulrich didn't need to know that.

"Or did you get rejected already?" ignoring the jab, Nikolo asks: "Where is that guest of mine?"

"Dining room; mom probably told the cook to warm up some dinner for him, too" Ulrich said "We talked a little and apparently that guy is one those who who got back from the hell with you."

Oh great, Nikolo definitely knew who that was. After all, there was only one who lived in the area besides him and would bother to actually come to his house.

"Great, just great" he thought with a sigh. Well, he had to get this over with before his family became concerned "Better not to keep him waiting any longer, then."

Going to the dining room, Nikolo saw Grior just like he had thought he would.

"Good evening. It's been a while" Grior wasn't normally this formal, but Nikolo knew it was because his family would most likely hear. The young cook appreciated it really; he didn't want any unnecessary trouble. Having Grior around was more than enough of that.

"Indeed" Nikolo says, sitting down "What brings you here?"

"I simply came to talk in peace since we're both so busy at work" in other words, Grior had gotten back on duty. Huh, he hadn't noticed. He also knew that it wasn't like the other man to beat around the push like this, not with him. Whatever he wanted to say was something he didn't want others to overhear. Well, if Grior wanted to keep it, whatever "it" was, between them, it was in his best interests to let the man do so "Of course; it has been quite a while since we were able to have a proper conversation."

And yet they started with meaningless small talk as they waited for their meals. While doing so, Nikolo couldn't help but wonder what his guest had come for. As far as he knew, they didn't need to work together any time soon, so he wasn't there to clear the air… not that he believed Grior would do that anyway. He had no problem with Nikolo knowing exactly what he thought of his actions. A little after they had received their meals, Nikolo came to the conclusion that it was safe to get to the point: "I think this is enough. What are you here for?"

"I heard a rumor you were trying to volunteer to go back to Paradis" Grior finally gets to the point "Drop it; don't ask anymore."

Narrowing his eyes, Nikolo asks: "And why not?"

"People are starting to get suspicious of you" Grior says, crossing his arms "It's just not normal to want to go back to a place where you were held prisoner."

Nikolo had been afraid that that might happen, but he hadn't expected it to be so soon. What should he-

"Some think you want to go for revenge" Grior continues "Others that life as a free man is too overwhelming for you after all these years, that you want to return to being a prisoner. There seem to have also been a few who've hit the mark; they think you've become an Eldian sympathizer."

Out of all of them, Nikolo knew that that was the worst one if they got proof.

"There's only few of them, so you're safe for now" Grior said, the annoyance clearly radiating off of him "But if you don't cut it out, it's only a matter of time before they understand the truth. And if they do, they'll also start suspecting whet ever you're the only one or not. So, drop it, if not for your then for our sakes."

Nikolo couldn't deny that Grior had a point, but even so "I want to see Sasha. I want to see her no matter what."

"It's about her again, isn't it?" Grior asked with a sigh. He already knew the answer; the cook was sure "She makes you irrational."

"Love makes people irrational" Nikolo stated. Ignoring Grior's wide eyes and slack jaw, he threw in a final jab: "Not that you'd know anything about that."

As Grior just stared, Nikolo started to regret his words. Maybe he should've stayed quiet; maybe he shouldn't have brought up love. Grior hadn't ratted him out so far, but now that he'd said something like that, after all this time no less-

"You… you really are serious" Grior finally managed out "It wasn't just a coping mechanism."

Swallowing, Nikolo said: "That's what I've been telling you all the time, isn't it?"

Perhaps it was stupid to say that, perhaps it would be what'd finally make Grior tell on him. With how much he'd wanted to go to Paradis and how he'd made it known, the other man's word would be trusted.

"…All the more reason for you to stop."

Nikolo blinked "What?"

"People will get suspicious if you volunteer again" Grior continued, leaning back on his chair. Massaging his temples, he said: "If you want to see her again, be patient for God's sake. One wrong move and you could lose any chance of ever going back to Paradis."

Now it was Nikolo's turn to just stare. Was Grior actually trying to help him, to give him advice on how to get there?

"You're wishing for her to answer your feelings, aren't you? If there're any chances of that happening, then the wait won't ruin them" Nikolo lowered his gaze, a small smile forming on his face. Yes, Grior was right. If he had a chance to begin with, making Sasha wait a little longer wouldn't destroy it; that's not the kind of person she was. As long as he could deal with his own impatient feelings, things would work out "To think that Grior of all people would reassure me… I suppose he's not so bad after all."

"And I doubt any other man would snatch her away from you in the meantime" hm? "I don't think there's anyone else so crazy besides you who'd go for that bitch."

"I'll take that back" Nikolo thought as he glared at the man "He's just as bad as I thought he is."

Grior just raised an eyebrow, asking: "What? It's a good thing for you, isn't it? When there's no competition you don't have to worry about sharing."

Nikolo groaned in frustration, putting his head in his hands "Shut up… just shut up, okay?"

Grior doesn't say anything anymore, which was unexpected. Looking up after a while, Nikolo sees Grior finishing his meal like the conversation never happened. After taking the last bite, Grior says: "If that's the choice you've made then so be it; do whatever you want."

What? That wasn't like Grior; Nikolo just knew there had to be a catch.

"Just don't get the rest of us involved; if it seems we'll be endangered because of you, I'll gladly throw you to the wolves before you can do the same to us" never mind, there it was "So don't mess up."

"I won't" Nikolo said. He had no way of knowing if he could keep that promise or not but, at this point, it wasn't an option to say anything else "I'll make this work."

"If you do, don't bother inviting me to the wedding" Grior jabbed "I hate that woman."

Nikolo snorted; he already knew this. Why, he could never really understand. He knew Grior hated Eldians, but his hatred for Sasha seemed to go even beyond that… sure, she could be annoying, especially to those whose job was cooking, but surely that couldn't be all there was to it.

Wanting to finally get to the bottom of it, Nikolo opened his mouth to ask Grior about it directly, but before he could someone else spoke first: "Did someone mention a wedding?"

Nikolo's head whipped around, his mind swirling as he saw Ulrich at the door. How much did he hear!?

"Not much" Ulrich replied, making Nikolo realize he'd said it out loud "Just something about "making it work." So, can I finally hear more about this mystery woman?"

"I think it's my time to leave" Grior said, rising from his seat. Nikolo knew he just didn't want to get involved, but it's not like he wanted Grior to be there, either. The guy would just complicate things "Thank you for the food."

"It was a pleasure to have you over" Nikolo says, planning to buy as much time as he can before he needed to talk to his brother, but he figured Ulrich saw right through it as the older man said: "Nice try Nicky; I'm not letting you change the subject."

Nikolo froze, not knowing what to say. He cast a glare at Grior as the man said his parting words: "Have fun."

"I know I will" Ulrich answered the soldier in his brother's place. Smirking, he crossed his arms "Out with it, Nicky. I want to know everything."

"Too bad since I'm not telling you anything" Nikolo decided to say, knowing that this way he wouldn't say something that'd come to bite him back "Good night."

"You're not getting off this easily Nicky" Ulrich said, and as Nikolo turned around in order to go to his room, he knew his brother would follow "I won't rest until I at least get her name!"

XXXXX

"C'mon, are you guys still mad?" Sasha asked from Connie and Samuel as they ate breakfast. It seemed she had taken her little joke of pretending to be upset a little too far, and now the guys were mad at her "It was just a joke!"

The guys didn't answer, didn't even look at her, like she wasn't even there. Were they really that mad at her?

"Oh, come on!" she yelled, frustrated as the men got up from the table without saying anything, their backs turned to her "I'm sorry, okay?!"

Her frustration was starting to turn in to worry. Samuel she could somewhat understand, but she and Connie pranked each other all the time, so if he was so mad there had to be something else to this, too. What had she missed?

"Wait, is he crying?" Sasha wondered as she saw Samuel's shoulders shaking. Worry overtaking her full force, she ran up to him and put a hand on his shoulder "Samuel, you okay?"

"…Pft" Sasha blinked, wondering if she misheard. Did Samuel just laugh? "Pft… hahaha!"

"Aaw man!" Connie complained as soon as Samuel started to laugh "You ruined the joke!"

"Sorry sorry!" Samuel said, wiping his eyes as he laughed a bit too hard "I'm not as used to this as you two."

Sasha stared at them, dumbfounded, before the grins on the faces of her friends started to sink in. Those two-!

"You tricked me!" she yelled, mortified as the two laughed. Glaring at Samuel, she pointed an accusatory finger at him "And you, I was so worried about you!"

"Yeah, you were" Samuel said, patting her head "Wasn't that just cute, Connie?"

"Yeah, way too cute" Connie agreed "But Sash, you okay? You fell for it way too easily…"

"Shut up…" Sasha groaned, covering her reddening face with her hands. Just why was she friends with these jerks again…?

XXXXX

Getting to work was a relief for Nikolo. Just like he had said, Ulrich had been persistent last night. Nikolo had predicted that, for that's how his brother was, but he hadn't expected him to continue the following morning, not to mention that he'd hint about his love life not so subtly to their mother. She'd been surprised yet also seemed happy, and now Nikolo knew that in the following days she'd try to get some information from him, too. Life was just wonderful, wasn't it?

"I'm certainly not going straight home today, either" Nikolo decided, but he wasn't that keen on going out for a run again, either "I suppose I could visit Natalie and her family."

It had been a while since he did that; little Ingrid must've grown since his last visit. Babies grew fast after all.

"Hopefully Paul won't be home" he had nothing against his brother in law, but things could get awkward between them, especially if Natalie wasn't there to keep up a conversation "How come Sasha's family was so easy to deal with compared to my own?"

It was odd, really. He loved his family and, since he knew them better, he should have had easier time dealing with them than with the Blouse family, yet that wasn't the case. "I suppose they're just unnaturally good people…"

That had to be it, for they didn't mind the company of a war prisoner like him at all, not to mention Sasha's parents had clearly caught on about his feelings to Sasha, yet still didn't try to keep them away from each other. And they were forgiving to the enemy soldier who had shot and almost killed their daughter, too.

"Perhaps they're too forgiving for their own good…" Nikolo thought, shaking his head soon after. No, being forgiving was good. The world needed more people like them "The world will change… slowly, but it will…"

XXXXX

Staring at her plate, Sasha was deep in her thoughts. The food was good, there was no questioning it, and yet… she wasn't as eager to eat it as usual.

"Nikolo made this often…" she recalled, remembering the taste. It wasn't too far from what she had in front of her now, but far enough to be easily remembered. And Nikolo's was better "By the time he started making this he had already stopped looking at us with scorn… he scolded me so often, but there was no malice…" she glanced at the Marleyan cooks present "Unlike with those guys…"

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Sasha told herself not to be negative. They had made Nikolo accept them, so they could do the same with these guys. They just needed time, that's all. They could do this.

"And for once we do have the time"