Chapter 38
"Commander" Sasha salutes Hanji as she catches the woman at her door, having been waiting for her.
"Sasha?" she can see the older woman's confusion "Rare to see you at this hour without specific orders. Has something happened?"
"No, not really" she says "I mean, yes, sorta, but nothing that urgent. Did you hear of those two new recruits that caused a little trouble yesterday?"
When Hanji nods, she continues: "Yeah, so since Jean has his hands full, I promised to take care of those two. I've come up with something that should get the message in, but the problem is that for this, I'd have to be away from here with them for a bit under a week. So, I'm asking for a permission for the three of us to set out."
Hanji didn't answer right away, and Sasha wondered if she was asking too much. She had thought about that earlier of course, and had come to the conclusion that it'd be fine; three soldiers leaving for a bit shouldn't cause too much trouble in these peaceful times, even if one of them was her, a veteran. Plus, this'd be for what she considered a really good reason. But maybe she was wrong?
"Permission granted" the commander said finally "Exactly how far do you intend to go?"
"Southern parts of Wall Rose" she answered "Ragako, to be exact."
Hanji's eyebrows shot up.
"Ragako?" she repeated "Make sure those two don't do anything stupid there."
"Will do"
"It would also take less time if you went to Trost by train" Hanji added "Yet from the time you need, you're clearly going by horse. How come?"
Sasha smiled.
"No offence, commander, but the military uses the trains too often these days. While us veterans, of scouts and garrison at least, are fine, the horse-riding skills of the newer recruits aren't what they used to be and they seem to be quickly worsening. I thought the practice would do them some good."
"Huh, I hadn't even thought of that, but now that I do, I realize you might be on to something with that" the commander said in surprise "I'll make sure to do something about it when I have the time."
She snorts suddenly, and Sasha frowns in confusion.
"For a moment I thought you wanted to drag out the trip for them for intimidation purposes" she confesses "Since you used to work directly under Levi, it's not a farfetched idea, is it?"
Now Sasha laughs too, though it's a bit uncomfortable, too.
"Maybe not, but that's not really my style"
She could definitely imagine Armin doing that and worse, though. He was a real sadist when he wanted to be.
"It sure isn't. Now, you go and do what needs to be done; I'll inform Jean and the others of where you've gone."
Sasha salutes.
"Yes, ma'am"
XXXXX
Nikolo was tired. After the nightmare, it had been hard to fall back to sleep, and he was pretty sure that when he had, it had only been for short moments until he was awake again and then went back to sleep. Or maybe not; maybe he had dreamed that to be the case… but considering how tired he was, it was likely the former. He yawned.
"Didn't sleep well?" the doctor sitting across from him, Nikolo had forgotten his name and unfortunately, he didn't wear a nametag, asked.
"No" no point in lying when it was so obvious.
"How so? Is there a specific reason?"
Nikolo really didn't want to share, but he knew that asking about it was the doctor's job and that the more cooperative he was, the sooner he'd get out.
"Nightmares" he said "Well, only one, but I slept restlessly after that."
"I see" the doctor said "Do you have nightmares often?"
"…Not anymore, I don't" he said truthfully "And when I do, they aren't usually the type to bother me for the rest of the night."
"That's good" the doctor says, writing something down "And what are the ones that keep you up like, then? What are they about?"
He couldn't talk about all of them, that much Nikolo knew, but luckily, the most recent one was one that had nothing he needed to hide.
"The one last night was more like a memory" he said "From my time on the island. After the ceasefire, when I was locked up for pois- "
He stops suddenly, wondering how much detail he can reveal without getting in trouble for revealing military secrets. As if reading his mind, the doctor says: "Don't worry, you can go on. I have been filled in about your deeds on the island, and have the permission to hear anything you have to say about it, including things that you normally need to keep from spreading."
That was good to know.
"Right, of course" Nikolo says "Like I was saying, it was from the time I was locked up after getting caught poisoning people and was waiting for whatever punishment I'd receive."
Nikolo paused after that, not sure how to continue. If this was an interrogation, the man would ask questions when he wanted to know more, and if he was giving a report, he'd just tell what happened, the amount of detail depending on how detailed report had been asked for. But this… how exactly was he meant to talk about these things with the doctor? How much detail was he expecting? What was relevant and what wasn't? What would put him at risk of being stuck here longer and what wouldn't?
"Is it too painful to talk about?"
"Huh?" Nikolo is pulled out of his thoughts "Ah, no. I was just wondering how to talk about it… as in, what's relevant and such."
"Whatever you feel to be relevant is relevant in this case" the doctor informs him with a small smile "But if that's too vague, then how about talking about it like an official report?"
Nikolo does just that. When he's finished, the doctor asks: "When was the last time you had a nightmare this bad besides last night?"
"Um…" Nikolo thinks. For one that kept him up pretty much all night, it'd be- "A few months, I'd say. I've had small ones after it, but not this bad ones."
"I see. Why do you think you got a bad one now?"
Nikolo wanted to say it was just a coincidence, but the doctor would probably see that he didn't really believe it if he said so. In reality, it was likely either because of the beating he took or because of the stress of being locked up again… or both.
"I'm not entirely sure, but I think it might be the combined stress from everything that has happened lately" he says "Or it could also be a coincidence, but probably not."
"What are the ones that aren't your memories alike?"
That was a question Nikolo knew he had to be careful of.
"It's usually harder to remember them, and sometimes they don't make any sense, jumping from one thing to other" he says "I usually wake up at a point where someone I know dies or…"
"Maybe I shouldn't say it" Nikolo thinks. If he admitted that some of his dreams ended with him harming or killing his friends, the doctor would probably get the wrong idea. The friends he harmed in his dreams were always Eldians, so it wasn't like his dreams had him betraying his comrades, but he couldn't tell that "…Or when I die in them."
A small, necessary lie.
"How about you tell me about the last bad nightmare you had that wasn't a memory?" the doctor says "Of course, if it's too painful, you don't need to."
"No, I can talk about it" Nikolo says, starting to relax a little. The doctor asked questions, but they weren't all that specific. If things continued like this, he could rule the flow of their conversations and guide them to another direction if they got to a too dangerous area "The little I can remember, at least."
"It's fine; as long as I come across as cooperative and don't say or do anything questionable, I'll get out soon enough"
He allowed himself to smile.
"It's fine"
XXXXX
"Uuh… ma'am, where exactly are we going?" Hans asks as he and Stefan followed Sasha on horseback through the land before Wall Maria "We've been riding for hours."
"And will be riding for hours more, so no complaining" Sasha answered, trying to sound as stern as possible, yet hoping that she didn't sound too much like Levi "If you don't like this then next time, think before you act!"
"Wait no, that's not it! I'm not supposed to make them behave in the fear of punishment!" Sasha inwardly groaned. She really wasn't good at acting as a leader and putting up an example "But at least I'm good at horse riding. As long as I talk only when I have to and keep my back straight and eyes sharp, I can give off a professional impression… right?"
She really hoped so; for this to work, these two had to take her seriously.
"Ma'am, could you please answer the question?" Stefan asks her "It'd be good to know our destination in order to be better prepared."
He had a point.
"Where are you boys from?" Sasha decided to ask. It wouldn't hurt to start setting a base for her own point.
"Huh? Um, I'm from Heming, a village in the Northern parts of Wall Rose" Hans tells.
"And I'm from Barness City, which is pretty close to Heming" Stefan says "Why?"
"I'm from Dauper" Sasha says, not turning to look at them "Do either of you know where that is?"
"No, ma'am" the boys chorused.
"It's in the woods in southern parts of Wall Rose, though now it's more of a farmer village than the hunting one it used to be" she tells "Do you know why?"
"…Because of food shortages after Wall Maria's collapse?" she hears Hans ask after a moment of silence "Fields can feed more people than forests."
"Correct" Sasha says "We won't be going there though; our destination comes a little before it."
When neither of the two say anything, Sasha looks over her shoulder and continues: "Have either of you ever heard of the Ragako village?"
They shook their heads.
"Well, now you have and soon you'll see why" Sasha says, turning back around "Now, pick up the pace."
XXXXX
It had been a few days since he'd ended up in this place and so far, Nikolo was fine. He still had to take the pills, the nurse didn't leave the room until he'd swallowed them, but other than that, he felt like things were going fine.
"How are you feeling today?" doctor Becker, Nikolo had managed to pick up the name, asked on their daily session.
"Fine, if not a little tired" the former soldier answers honestly "I… had a nightmare again."
Logically thinking, he knows there's no need, but he still feels embarrassed admitting that. He was a grown man, a soldier, completely safe in his homeland, had been for a long time now, so he shouldn't be having nightmares… right?
"Well, technically I may not be completely safe; they might send someone to silence me" he thinks "So it's not that illogical."
"Does that embarrass you?" Becker asks, and Nikolo looks at him in surprise. The man smiles "Pardon me if I'm wrong, but that's what your face tells me."
"…Well, yes" Nikolo admits "I shouldn't be having them at this age."
"Nightmares have nothing to do with age" the doctor says "They are about fears and insecurities, sometimes in clear ways, sometimes not as much."
Nikolo knew that, but emotions rarely had anything to do with logic.
"Would you like to tell me about your nightmare?"
"…No" Nikolo decides. This time, his dream had been one of those that were all over the place. It didn't start out as a nightmare; it was more like a mix of happy memories from his time on the island, though some of the things in his dream definitely hadn't happened. The dream got worse when his friends started dying in it, all right in front of him, without him being able to do anything about it. Or more like, the him in the dream hadn't wanted to save them, for his superiors and his family had been watching. He hadn't had the guts to go against them in his dream, hadn't had the guts to defend his friends. He had assured himself that in reality, he'd act differently. But this was not the kind of thing he could discuss about with the doctor; if the man knew, it would just cause him trouble.
"I see" the doctor says, not pressing him "Can you tell me why?"
Of course, he'd ask that. Nikolo should've thought of an explanation beforehand… or just not mentioned the nightmare at all.
"I… just really don't want to talk about this one" he says "It was quite… um…"
He shot himself in the leg here, didn't he?
The doctor was eyeing him, but he wasn't saying anything, obviously expecting Nikolo to continue. Which would be safer, keeping quiet or saying something and taking the risk that that something would make things worse?
Finally, the doctor spoke: "We don't have to speak about it, nor do you need to explain to me why you don't want to. Speaking about anything that bothers you would be helpful, but forcing you to speak of something would be counterproductive."
"If that's the case, I might not need to say anything at all during these sessions" Nikolo realizes "But that would make it harder for them to see my "process", and I'd be stuck here longer… ugh."
"…Can I ask something?" he says, wanting to take this conversation to another direction entirely.
"Of course,"
"Did anyone else from those of us who got away from the island come here?"
"I can't answer that for privacy reasons" the doctor says. Nikolo had expected that, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to try "Is there anything else you'd like to ask?"
There was one thing, but Nikolo thought that asking it might do him more harm than good. But it wasn't certain, and he had to do something about his situation.
"How long do you think it'll take for me to get out of here?"
There was not a twitch on the man's face; he must've expected that question.
"It's hard to say this early" the doctor says "For now, it's best for you to not think about it and simply live one day at the time. Do you think you can do that?"
That wasn't much of an answer, but Nikolo wasn't sure if the doctor always answered like this to everyone, or if he had been specifically instructed to say so to him and avoid giving out any information.
"It doesn't make much of a difference at this point, either way" he thought, sighing "I don't have much of a choice, do I?"
XXXXX
"And here we are!" Sasha informs the younger soldiers as she hops off her horse, tying it down to a nearby tree before motioning for the other two to do the same. After they do so, she starts walking towards the ruined village "Follow me."
She sees the two of them looking around, watching the overgrown grass and ruined buildings. Good, that was what she'd intended.
"Ma'am, what happened here?" Hans asks.
"A bit over twelve years ago, Wall Rose was evacuated. You two remember that, correct?" she sees them nod "Do you know why that was done?"
"…Titans got in?" Hans phases it like a question, Sasha notes. Clearly, he's not sure of it.
"In a way, yes" Sasha replies "Some members of Marley's military got in, and they poisoned the people of this village, using that to turn them in to titans."
Both young soldiers stopped in their tracks, faces going pale. Sasha doesn't say anything, waiting for them to get over their shock.
"Uuh… is it possible that there's still some poison in here?" Stefan asks, and Sasha blinks. She had never even considered that. Had anyone considered that?
"But Zeke's gone, so it's not like it could be activated. I'm sure it's fine" she reasons "…Maybe. No wait, it is; if there was a chance for some remaining, Onyankopon would've said something. Or Nikolo. Or Yelena. And if it was likely, Armin or the commander would've considered it already, too. Yup, everything's fine."
"Don't worry; it's completely safe now" she says "Aside from one thing, which I'm about to show you. Don't worry though; just stay behind me and follow my orders, and you'll be fine."
The two glances at each other before chorusing: "Yes, ma'am."
Sasha starts walking over to where she knows Connie's mother to be, not concerned that the fresh recruits with her would try to attack the titan. While they definitely knew what titans were, they might not have never seen one, including the Colossal, the Beast and the Founding titans, before, so they were much likelier to freeze up in fear when they saw her. That, or run away, which would be a pain, but she'd handle it if it came to that.
She stops as the titan comes to view, and turns to watch the reactions of the younger soldiers. Sure enough, both of them freeze up, Hans first as he's clearly paying more attention to his surroundings, and then Stefan not long after. Their eyes are wide with terror, yet their fight or flight instincts don't seem to kick in yet. Not wanting that to happen, either, Sasha clears her throat, making both boys jump.
"This here is Mrs. Springer" she says "She was turned in to a titan with her family and the other villagers, but for some reason, she turned in to an abnormal that couldn't move, so she didn't leave the village. When wall Rose was cleared out, she was left alive for research purposes, which was when we found out the resemblance between the titan and one of the villagers."
"…How?" Stefan manages to choke out.
"One of our comrades is from this village; this titan is his mother" Sasha saw the horror on their faces, but kept talking "He came here with some others, without a gear, to evacuate the village even though the titans had come from this direction. Yet all they found was destroyed houses and this titan; at time, none of us knew where titans really came from."
"That's…" Hans didn't say anything more than that, perhaps not sure what he was even about to say, but Stefan manages to ask: "Springer… is a veteran in the Scouts, isn't he? One of the nine who survived from the operation to take back Wall Maria, like you."
"Yeah, he is" Sasha confirms, and from the looks of it, Stefan hadn't realized this.
"He's still continuing as a soldier? After…" the young man didn't seem sure how to voice his thoughts "After all this?"
"Yeah"
"What for?" the blond continues "…Revenge?"
"Perhaps he had it in mind at some point" Sasha said, unable to deny Connie's hate for Zeke "But for the most part, to keep the same from happening to others. Not that we knew at that point just what had happened."
She let it all sink in for the two of them for a while before continuing: "My home village isn't far from here, like I said before. Fortunately, no one there died as the word got to them fast enough, but many others in nearby villages weren't so lucky. Many people died that day, and I wasn't too far from ending up dead, either. My family wasn't too far from it."
When neither of the two said anything, probably at a loss of words, Sasha asks: "Are you two catching on to why I brought you here?"
They look at each other, then at her, and after a while, Stefan dares to open his mouth: "To see what might happen if things go wrong so that we'll take our duties and training more seriously…?"
"And?" Sasha prompts, but the boys stay quiet. She lets the silence drag on for a while before continuing: "Well, you're half correct. If something happens and a war breaks out again, we need to be prepared. But even more than that, it'd be better if no war broke out. So, I brought you two here in order to…?"
Silence again. The boys look at each other, then her, but Sasha knows they're seriously thinking about it.
"They better be, or I'm making a fool of myself here" she thinks, starting to sweat a little "C'mon, I made the point clear enough, didn't I?"
"Umm… you're trying to get us to understand how bad things can get if a war breaks out again so that we'll do our hardest to prevent it from happening?" Hans asks.
"Exactly" Sasha nods "And also to get you to understand that anything can happen; we can't be prepared for everything. So, do your best to keep up the peace, and in case a war does break out at some point, be prepared."
A beat of silence.
"…And you couldn't just say that at the harbor because?" Stefan asks, getting hastily elbowed in the gut by Hans as a result. Sasha decides to ignore what would be considered as disrespect towards a superior officer and says: "Seeing firsthand the consequences of fighting an enemy you don't understand is good for you."
"And we didn't come by train because…?" Stefan asks, this time reacting fast enough to avoid the incoming attack from Hans as his friend tried to not so subtly stomp on his toes.
"Because you fresh recruits need more training in riding horses" Sasha tells, putting on what she hopes is a stern face "If I had rode like that at your age, I would've been titan food!"
The two young soldiers actually look a bit embarrassed at that, but apparently, Stefan needs to get the last word in: "I heard they don't ride horses in Marley's military…"
"I've heard that, too" Sasha admits, smiling like the devil some say she is "Are you saying that's something that the Marleyans do better than us, then?"
The boys stare at her, and Stefan opens his mouth, closing it as he clearly can't come up with a good enough reply. Ha, she got him!
"No, ma'am" Hans says for his friend "Definitely not!"
"That's what I thought" she says with a grin. And then, completely on a whim, she decides to be a little mischievous "Do the two of you think you'll be able to ride your horses a bit better and faster on the way back?"
"Huh? Um- "
"Yes, ma'am" Stefan interrupts his unsure friend. He seemed determined to prove his worth after being embarrassed a few times, and that's exactly what Sasha had been counting on.
"Is that so? Good" she grins, and she can see the moment that Stefan realizes he'd made a bad move. Too late "Then we can use what remains of this day to tidy this place up a bit and leave in the morning!"
"Yes, ma'am" the two chorus, but it's clear as day that Stefan was pissed. Well, this trip was about teaching them a lesson in the first place; this was good for the unruly scout.
"Doing stuff like this makes me feel old" Sasha realized, but then shook her head "Alright, time to head to work!"
XXXXX
Nikolo was bored. He had been given books and crosswords to pass time, but other than that, there was nothing for him to do in this room, which he had to spend most of his time in. Of course, this gave him time to think things through, but there was only so many what if this or that happens -scenarios that he could go through in his head before simply getting tired of thinking. And too much thinking probably wasn't good for him, either, for from time to time, he ended up dwelling in too negative thoughts. Honestly, it'd help if he had more things to do, things to keep him busy, but other than his daily sessions with the doctor and being taken to wash up every two days, Nikolo hadn't been let out of the room assigned to him, apparently still not trusted to be around others. The nurse still watched to make sure he took his pills, too, and they had increased since he came here. Just how long would it be supervised? Or was it a thing to make sure everyone took them, not trusting the patients at any point?
"And as a cherry on top, I don't even have a clock here!" Nikolo thought. Even now, he wasn't sure of the time, aside from the fact that it was somewhere between 12 am and 6 pm; lunch was over, but dinner had yet to come. Of course, with how much process he'd made with his book and crosswords, he was able to somewhat tell the time, and he felt like it was somewhere between 3 and 5 pm. A wide window, but it was a start "There are clocks in the hallway and the doctor's office… is it a standard for there not to be one in patients' rooms, or is this one simply missing one? Should I ask for one?"
He tried to reason what harm asking could do, but came out empty. He could ask. As long as he didn't insist if they said no, everything should be fine.
There is a knock on the door, and for a moment, Nikolo is sure that he had calculated completely wrong and that it was already dinnertime, but when the door opens and the doctor comes in, he realizes that it's not the case. This was unusual.
"Doctor Becker" he greets "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all" the doctor said "How are you feeling?"
"Same as usual" Nikolo said "Today I'm not even tired; I haven't had any nightmares for a few days now after all."
"Excellent" doctor Becker says "Then you might have enough energy for a change in your daily routine."
This made Nikolo a little weary, but even more than that, he was interested, for he was really bored.
"What kind of change?"
"Some of your colleagues have been wanting to visit, two in particular" Becker says, much to Nikolo's surprise "I've been denying them the permission to see you until today, but I think it would be alright now. Assuming you feel like you're ready, of course."
Absolutely; even if he wasn't so bored, saying no was not an option, for it would mean that his "recovery" was slower than the doctor had estimated. He was curious who the colleagues were, though he had a pretty good guess on who the other one was.
"Yes, of course" Nikolo assures "Are they already here or…?"
"Yes, they are simply waiting for permission" Becker says "Of course, they aren't let in without supervision. I was not the one to decide on that rule, but I do also think it's for the best. Is that okay with you?"
"Not like I have a choice" Nikolo knew "Of course."
"Good, then I'll let them in" Becker says "If you want them to leave before their time is up, just tell the guard and he'll escort them out."
"Understood" Nikolo says. As the doctor leaves, he checks himself over quickly, deciding that he looked decent enough… not that he'd have the time to change if he didn't, anyway.
First comes in Thomas, just as he had expected. The second is Jonas, which was a bit more surprising, but it's not like he hadn't considered the possibility. He had a stack of books tucked under his arm, much to Nikolo's surprise. With a quick glance behind them, he sees the guard, a soldier that he's sure he's seen before, probably back at the hospital, but whose name he doesn't recall. Well, it's probably better that way. It'll be hard enough to face the two he did know, mainly Thomas. He was still mad at the man for talking, it had to be him, but for the sake of his future, he couldn't let his anger show. He had to do this right.
"…What's up?" he asks when neither of the two speak. The two soldiers' glance at each other, and then Jonas chuckles.
"What's up? That's what you start with?" he asks, shaking his head "Geez, you really got yourself in to quite a mess…"
"Can't deny that" Nikolo admits, eyes on Jonas. If Thomas had something to say, he would have to start talking himself. Nikolo had decided to ignore his presence until he did "So, what brings you here?"
"Is that a trick question?" Jonas asks "We were worried about you, obviously. Since you ended up here, there's certainly something wrong with your head, but while we didn't get the details, we heard you took quite a beating, too. Came to see how you're holding up."
"Mostly healed up; no problems as long as I don't have much physical strain" he says "Not that that's a problem now anyway."
Jonas snorts.
"Guess it wouldn't be, huh?"
"Hey Nikolo" as Thomas finally speaks, Nikolo moves his attention to him "Just why did you end up here? What happened to you?"
"…" the best bet was not to say anything. Were the guard not there and he could've been sure no one was eavesdropping, he might've considered going with the truth, telling what he'd told to the faces of his former superiors, but now? It wouldn't do him any good. Even if he managed to give Thomas something to think about, which he found unlikely since the man had turned against him, it'd hinder his chances of getting out.
"Why didn't you say anything?" he asks when Nikolo doesn't answer "This kind of thing doesn't happen overnight! Why didn't you tell me, tell anyone that you weren't okay?! You could've taken sick leave, you could've resigned, you… there were many things you could've done before you ended up like this! Why didn't you ask for help!? It's too late now!"
Nikolo flinched a little, more from the surprise that Thomas' outburst brought than anything else. And this made him glad he hadn't confined in the man all that much. Narrowing his eyes, he simply held the soldier's gaze, expecting him to continue.
"Aren't you going to say something!?"
He'd rather not. He didn't want to say anything unnecessary.
"Nikolo-!" Thomas was interrupted by Jonas putting his hand on his shoulder.
"Chill, man" he says "It's not too late for anything; no one's died- "
Nikolo glares at Jonas, already opening his mouth, but snapping it shut at the last moment, not saying anything. But he clearly couldn't keep the anger from his face, the startled looks by his former coworkers being a clear proof. Putting his free hand up as a sign of surrender, Jonas says: "Sorry, really bad wording. What I was trying to say is that you are still alive, so Thomas' point doesn't really stand."
Nikolo sighs, internally scolding himself. Right, Jonas wasn't a bad person, just a little tactless sometimes… well, most of the time.
"It's fine, don't worry about it" Nikolo says. Wanting to change the subject, he asks: "What's with the books?"
"These?" Jonas motions to the pile he's carrying, fortunately having no trouble with changing the subject "Just thought you could use something to pass time with. I'm sure they got some books here, too, but I'm pretty sure my taste is better."
Nikolo snorts. He had no idea about Jonas' literature tastes; the books could very well be really good, really bad or anything in between. Either way, he appreciated the gesture.
"Thanks" he says. Jonas grins, dumping four of the five books on the table before coming over to him with the last one.
"Honestly, this is my favorite out of these five" he says, flipping the pages along "There's this one scene in particular… ha, there! See, this one!"
Nikolo had no idea why Jonas was so excited about some scene in a book, but he decided to humor his friend. Besides, it was certainly better than having to deal with Thomas.
He looks at where Jonas is pointing. He blinks; he doesn't get it. There's simply a line there, it says "Do you want me to tell her?"
"Am I looking at the wrong spot?" Nikolo wonders, deciding to check the lines before and after this one. The one before was "This is just… too much…" and the one after "No… it has to be me…"
"Not the wrong line, then" he deducted "Does he have the wrong page?"
"C'mon Nikolo, it's a good line, yes? Yes, or no?" Jonas says as he stays quiet "It's simple."
Annoyed, he's about to say that he has no idea what Jonas means, but as he looks up from the book, his eyes meet Jonas', and he pauses. There's an oddly serious look in them.
"No… there's more to this… he's trying to tell me something!" he realized, moving his gaze back to the book. He had to answer soon, before this started to look too suspicious to the other two, but he had no idea what Jonas was expecting an answer to "C'mon, think, think!"
Then, it clicked.
"Ah… no" he finally said "No."
He didn't want Jonas to tell her.
"Huh? You sure?" Jonas asks, and Nikolo nods "Yeah, I'm sure."
"You're boring. You know that, right?"
"Maybe he'd agree with you if you let him actually read the book before you ask" Thomas puts in. Jonas and Nikolo share a look, sharing a small smile as they do.
"Guess I should do that" Jonas says, handing over the book "I'll come by again when I can. Read the book by then, and I'll ask if you've changed your mind."
"Sure" Nikolo says. Not that he would; there'd be no point in letting Jonas get a word to Sasha, even if he'd somehow manage to do so. He was sure she had her hands full with work; he didn't want to add more worries for her.
"Great! Now that that's in order, we'll leave you to whatever you were doing" Jonas says, much to Nikolo's surprise. And from the looks of it, it was also a surprise to Thomas.
"What? Hang on, you can go, but Nikolo and I still haven't- "
"I think you yelled at him enough already" Jonas said bluntly, literally starting to push the other man out of the room "We'll see you later Nikolo!"
"Huh? Yeah…" Nikolo said back, a bit dumbfounded. Was that all Jonas had come here for? Well, he supposed it made sense; obviously, the guy wouldn't risk getting pulled in to this mess, yet he had said he'd help Nikolo out in any way that was safe enough. Not that he was sure if trying to pass the information to Sasha had Nikolo agreed would've been safe, but he supposed Jonas knew what he was doing… maybe.
"Just a second" Thomas says, managing to switch positions with Jonas and push him out of the door "Nikolo, there's something you need to know."
Nikolo simply raised an eyebrow, assuming that this would be either another lecture or one of those slightly embarrassing declarations of having his back that Thomas always made. As awkward as they'd sometimes been, Nikolo found himself slightly hoping that this would be one of them, which made him a little angry at himself. Thomas had sold out Helmut and Herbert; even if he had done what he thought was right, that didn't mean he could simply be forgiven.
"What?"
"About those two Eldians that got away on that night- "
"Hey- "the guard tried to interrupt, but was stopped by Jonas poking his head back in to the room, putting a hand on the guard's shoulder. Nikolo barely registered it though as Thomas now had his full attention.
"One was caught, but the other, Herbert Weber, is still on the run" Thomas tells, much to Nikolo's shock. His former partner in the field comes closer, looking him straight in the eyes "Tell me the truth, Nikolo, do you have any idea where he could be hiding?"
"So that's why he brought it up" Nikolo manages to get his mind running despite his state of shock. He was as clueless as they were, not that he'd tell even if he wasn't.
"I don't" he told honestly. Thomas doesn't break eye contact, staring at him, like he's trying to figure out if he's lying or not. Nikolo just stares evenly back, for once having nothing to hide. Thomas might be able to see his delight at the news from his eyes, but really, how much more harm could it do at this point?
"Alright then" Thomas says after staring at him for a while more "I believe you."
He turns to leave, but before he does, he adds: "There's really nothing that I can do for you now, but if you need anything once you get out of here, let me know. Alright?"
"…Sure" he wasn't sure at all if he'd take that offer or not.
"Alright, it's all settled, now move your ass so that he can rest, Thomas!" Jonas calls out, pulling his hand back from the guard "See ya Nikolo!"
"Yeah, see ya" he called after the two as they left with the guard, though he had no idea when he could see them again.
…
"Whatever" he thought with a grin, falling on his back on his bed. Herbert was still on the run; he hadn't been caught. He was alive "First good news since… since I got here? Probably."
It gave him strength, it made him optimistic. He could handle this.
He would handle this.
