Chapter 47
Sasha found out she would be working closely with Jonas again. Of course, both of them, along with Samuel and Eric, had somehow ended up doing a lot of grunt work last time. Not that she minded much as that had given her time to change the opinions of the two Marleyans about them, even if it was just a little bit in the end. Unfortunately, it seemed a little like her work on that end had come undone.
"From what I recall, you didn't use to be this quiet" she comments as they stand around supervising the loading of the ship "Bad day?"
Sasha knew that wasn't likely it; she was simply trying to get him to talk.
"More like a bad year" Jonas answers with a frustrated sigh. Sasha smiles sympathetically, though she's glad that they were in good enough terms still that he at least answered her. Pushing her luck, she asks: "Do you want to talk about it?"
She was also a little curious. Of course, it was possible that Jonas was just exaggerating due to being in a bad mood, but if not, she wanted to know what was wrong; they were friends after all, weren't they? She had certainly thought so when he and Eric had left, but Jonas seemed really distant now… then again, it had been a long time since they saw each other. Maybe he just felt a bit awkward? It'd be great if it was just that, but Sasha feared that it wasn't.
"…Maybe later" she can't tell if he's being honest or not "When there's not as much of a risk of being overheard."
Maybe he was being honest, then. Why add that if he wasn't? He probably feared what his comrades would say if they caught him sharing his troubles with her… especially since one of them, the one whose brother had been a war prisoner and whose name she still hadn't caught, kept giving her nasty glares whenever he walked by.
"Worried of someone in particular?" Sasha asked, eyeing the man who was walking to their direction with Eric, carrying a barrel together. Sometimes, when she saw the food and drinks brought from Marley, she couldn't help but wonder if they were poisoned. Of course, she knew that Hanji had handpicked a team to go through it all just in case, but she didn't know how it worked. What if they overlooked something?
"You could say that" Jonas admitted, and in lower voice, added: "Horst is a real thorn on my side."
Horst, that's what the guy's name was. She needed to remember that.
"Here or in general?" she pressed. She knew Jonas could just get more trouble from his comrades if someone overheard them, but she wanted to keep him talking now in case he changed his mind and wouldn't tell her anything later.
"Both" Jonas heaved a sigh "I really shouldn't be talking about this now; I'll tell you later, okay?"
"…Sure" Sasha gave in. He'd better keep his word voluntarily, for if he didn't, she'd pester him until he did.
The day went slower than usual in Sasha's mind, probably because she was bored. Of course, nothing bad happening was a good thing, but as her shift came to a close, she was more than glad to get to do something else and to get away from Horst's passive aggressive glares. She didn't think the man would've actually done anything, not with all the witnesses around, but being glared at like that all the time did put her on edge.
"Jonas managed to sneak off without telling me anything" she complains to Samuel as they sit behind the barracks drinking tea. It was getting late already, but the lights set up here and there kept them from having to carry lanterns. Electricity could be useful like that "I mean, I could have demanded him to stay after our shifts ended, but there were others there, and they could've considered it hostile, so…"
"Yeah, you definitely did the right thing not persisting" the man agrees, frowning "If Jonas doesn't want to talk to us, then that's just how things are. We should probably be glad that he's been as civil as he has, but in the end, he's a Marleyan, and Marleyans hate us Eldians."
Sasha watches her partner calmly drinking his tea, the only thing giving away the fact that he doesn't like what he's saying either being the frown on his face. Because of it, Samuel couldn't fool her. He'd become friends with Jonas, and Eric, too, and was now disappointed of this outcome.
"It's not that simple" she says "And this could be just a small setback. Give it a little time, and we could be back to the way we were last time they were here!"
Silence follows. Samuel looks up from his mug, his eyes meeting Sasha's. He doesn't look angry, but the look on his face is solemn, resigned even.
"I won't say that it's impossible, but you shouldn't get your hopes up" he says "Some things just can't be changed."
Sasha averts her gaze, looking at the dry ground instead. It hadn't rained in a while.
"Rained…" she remembered that one rainy day, when the four of them had been running around the harbor, securing things from being blown away by the wind and covering them from the rain. It was grunt work, and wouldn't have really even been their job, but once Sasha had rushed out, the other three had followed. Jonas had complained at the time, a lot, but not once had it seemed like he'd just walk away and leave them to it. At first, Sasha had assumed it was due to a sense of duty, but as they'd gathered around to play poker after they'd finished, she had thought that maybe not. Jonas had looked like he was having fun, as did Eric. It was on that rainy day she first realized how much process they'd made with the two, and the bonds between them had felt even stronger on the day they left, but now… "It's just a small setback."
She wanted to assure Samuel of that, but it was no wonder the man saw through it when she didn't manage to convince even herself. Maybe Samuel was right, maybe all process they'd made back then had come undone by whatever those two had seen and heard back at home in Marley when they'd been away from here.
"Well, guess we'll have to start all over again" she shrugs. Had those two not come back, they'd just have to do that with someone else anyway. At least with Jonas and Eric, they knew change was possible for sure.
"Yo!" Sasha's so startled by the sudden hand on her shoulder that she actually drops her mug. Fortunately, it's a tin mug so it doesn't break, but she won't pay it any attention until later, for now she's lunging out of her seat and whirling around, only to come face to face with not too apologetic -looking Jonas.
"Sorry" he says anyway, but Sasha can tell he's not, especially with that smirk on his face "Did I scare you or something?"
"Don't do that; what if I had a gun? I could've shot you!" Sasha says as she waits for her heart to calm down. Fortunately, she didn't usually carry one around when off duty, most of them didn't, but she wasn't sure if Jonas knew that. The Marleyan quirks a brow.
"Really? You're chastising me for that after what you did just yesterday?" he asks.
"You should've known because you yelled at me for it" Sasha counters, and it's then that she realizes actually who she's talking to "What are you doing here? Should you be here? I mean, you're a Marleyan, so…"
Now that Sasha thought about it, while they had been told to stay clear of where the Marleyans slept, she didn't know if the rule was a thing the other way around. She wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't; the Marleyans tended to want as little as possible to do with them, so there was no point in specifically forbidding them from coming close.
"There's no rule against it" Samuel confirms. Sasha's with her back to him, but she's sure he's about as surprised as she is. She can hear it from his voice "But what are you doing here, Jonas?"
The said man gives an accusing glare to Sasha.
"What, you didn't tell him?" he asks, sighing when Sasha just blinks in confusion. He points at her "Apparently, this idiot insisted on having a chat with me, yet it looks like she forgot. I'm hurt, really."
He was not, Sasha could tell so from his overexaggerated tone. Still, she says honestly: "I thought you were trying to avoid me."
Maybe she shouldn't have been so honest, at least if that really is actual hurt, she sees on Jonas' face right now, but she can't tell for sure as it's gone as quick as it came.
"I was doing just that when Horst was around" he admits with a shrug "But now he's distracted, I put Eric up to it, which is why he didn't come along, so now all's good."
"His opinion seems to be important to you, yet it didn't look like he'd be much higher in rank" Samuel says "So what's the problem?"
"Long story" Jonas says, taking Sasha's earlier seat on an empty crate, kicking away her now empty mug from his feet while he's at it. The female soldier glares at him as she goes to pick it from where it rolled, but doesn't say anything and just sits down next to Samuel, who had scooted over a little to make space for her.
"Don't care. Out with it" Samuel says, the mug of tea still in his hand but forgotten "We have all night."
"You two have way too much free time, then" Jonas replies. He sighs, taking off his hat, revealing the light brown locks that Sasha could swear were a lot darker when she last saw him. Disturbed by the weird change, she asks: "What happened to your hair?"
The surprise is clear on Jonas' face, but then it seems to dawn on him as he touches his hair.
"Ah, this? I just needed a bit of a change… I take it you don't have hair dye here?"
"…No?" Sasha turns her gaze to Samuel "…Or do we?"
She's not even sure what hair dye is, but she's not telling Jonas that, not when she already has a pretty good idea.
"No, we don't" Samuel says, though Sasha's pretty sure he doesn't really know, either. Clearing his throat, Samuel says: "Anyway, about that Horst guy…?"
"Right. He became my partner in the field quite a while ago already, when my former partner was… well, he was no longer fit for duty, so I've gotten to know Horst quite well already. He's okay in his own way, if not rather pessimistic. A hard worker too, which is good; my former partner was one, too, so I'm kinda used to that. But, well, his behavior towards Eldians is pretty bad, even by my standards. Heck, even by my standards before I first came here" Jonas massages his temples, and for a moment, he looks really tired in Sasha's eyes "Have I even mentioned that I normally patrol and keep up the order in the interment zones for Eldians?"
"I don't think so…?" it certainly came as a surprise to Sasha, and she glances at Samuel to see his reaction, finding out that he seemed just as surprised. She supposed that meant that she hadn't just forgotten and it really hadn't come up.
She couldn't help but wonder how Jonas treated their kind on the continent, and how they saw the soldier in return.
"Anyway, that's what I do. What we do. Usually, it isn't dangerous, not where we're situated at least, and there are rarely any problems… or well, there rarely were before- "he stops, and they both wait for him to continue, but when he doesn't, Sasha urges him on: "Jonas?"
"…This was a bad idea; I shouldn't be telling you any of this. Not that we've been told not to say anything, but that's because no one would think we'd tell Eldians anything."
"So technically, you're not breaking any rules" Samuel cuts in. Jonas is still hesitating, and Sasha wonders what she should say to get him to continue… but should he continue in the first place? This could get him in trouble if someone found out; whatever he had to say probably wasn't worth the risk. Perhaps she should tell him to forget about- "Out with it. Only the three of us are here, and Sasha and I surely aren't telling anyone anything. What's said between us, stays between us."
Sasha didn't doubt that. She wouldn't say anything, and Samuel wasn't the type to do so, either. Even so-
"You don't have to tell us" she says anyway, ignoring Samuel's irritated look as she focuses on the surprise on Jonas' face. She smiles "We don't want you to get in to trouble because of us."
She's ready to elbow Samuel in the gut if she needs to, and she has a feeling that she will.
"Jonas- "that's all he gets to say before Sasha goes through with her plan. Samuel glares at her, and she glares right back. Jonas chuckles, which catches both of their attention.
"You two are impossible" he says, and he's smiling now, but his nervousness is betrayed by his hands that fiddle with his hat "But Samuel's right; I should tell you. It's not like I'm doing this for small talk, anyway; this is something you guys need to hear."
Sasha straightened up at that.
"Like I was saying, it was relatively peaceful for a long time, the whole time I'd been working there at least, but shortly after I came back from here there was an incident of a group of Eldians leaving the interment zone and not coming back at assigned time. They tried to defect, to here. My partner at the time, who was still supervising the interment zone despite me having come here and needing to stick to office work after that due to my leg, ended up getting involved in all that. I don't know all the details, but as a result of whatever happened, he quickly became unable to work, so I was assigned a new partner."
And that was Horst. So far it was easy for Sasha to keep up, and while she wondered what exactly had happened to whoever Jonas had been working with, she had a more pressing question in mind at the moment: "Say… what happened to those Eldians?"
Of course, she had a feeling that she already knew, and as Jonas visibly grimaced, that feeling only grew stronger.
"There was eight of them in total. One is still on the run as far as I know, but the seven others were all eventually caught, at least half of them on the same night. They…"
"…Were executed" Samuel finishes with a frown as Jonas goes silent. He nods.
"All that led to me working with Horst. Honestly, if we had any other job, one where we didn't deal with Eldians, I'd probably get along with him no problem, but as things are, that's not the case. He goes out of his way to cause trouble in the interment zone, even if someone as much as looks at him in the wrong way in his opinion. After I got him as my partner, I've had to write more reports on the trouble encountered that I've had to during my entire time in the interment zones before him!"
"And you're not stopping him from abusing his power because…?" Samuel asks, and Sasha notes that his tone is accusing. Jonas glares, clearly having noticed this too.
"You think I haven't tried?" he spits out, the bitterness bleeding in to his voice plain as day "I try to keep him from being unreasonable, but there's not much one man can do, especially since everyone's tense after the incident that cost the career and health of one of our own. They blame the Eldians for it, and honestly, they're not entirely wrong. If I kept defending Eldians after what happened to my partner, I'd eventually be in trouble, too."
Samuel stands up, startling Sasha. His tea gets spilled to the ground as he does, but he ignores it.
"So, you're just letting innocent people die and suffer to protect your own reputation!?"
Jonas stands up too, clearly angry, and Sasha hastily gets on her feet as well, ready to get between the two if things get physical.
"No one's died because of this; things haven't gotten that far! But yes, I do want to protect my reputation, and if I don't, then I go down and someone worse will take my place!" the Marleyan snaps. As the men glare at each other, Sasha tries to think fast to defuse the situation "So, you're picking your battles? Making sure that you can stay there so Horst doesn't go too far?"
Jonas turns his attention to her, his glare losing its heat as he does.
"Exactly" he sighs, putting his hat back on "Anyway, my point is that try not to annoy Horst too much, and keep an eye on him if you can. He's not stupid, so I don't think he'd intentionally behave the way he does in the interment zones, but if he loses his cool, I can't guarantee that he won't do something stupid."
"Shouldn't you have warned your superiors to not let him here in the first place, then?" Samuel wasn't moved by the explanation; his glare ever present.
"I tried" Jonas simply says "But he has been here before, and there was no trouble from him at the time. He also volunteered to come here, and since most try to avoid coming here as much as they can, the higher ups are glad about any volunteers. I volunteered too, felt like I had to in order to keep an eye on that guy and give you the heads up, so you're fucking welcome for that!"
After that, Jonas storms off. If Sasha had known what to say, she would've stopped him in order for them to not part ways in this kind of atmosphere, but since she didn't, she let him go. After he was out of sight, she glared at Samuel.
"What?" the man asks when he notices.
"You should've been nicer; he was trying to help!" she scolds. She expects Samuel to admit that he went too far, perhaps even say that he'd apologize to Jonas later, but to her surprise, he does nothing like that at all.
"Should've been nicer? After he pretty much admitted to mistreating our people on the mainland?!"
"He's still trying to help them, even if he tries to keep himself safe while at it! This is progress, a step in the right direction!"
"That's one hell of a small step! Even if we get some individual Marleyans take those tiny steps, how long will it take before it'll actually help anyone? How long 'till our people on the mainland can actually feel safe in their own homes?!"
Sasha takes a step back by instinct as Samuel yells to her face, but she realizes he has a point. They were fine now and could sleep their nights restfully thanks to the peace, but it probably hadn't made the lives of the Eldians outside of the island any easier. In fact, it might've made them worse. What if the soldiers took out their frustration on not winning the war against the "island devils" on the "devils" they could get their hands on?
"Besides, how do we even know he's telling the truth? For all we know, he might not be holding that Horst guy back at all and is actually bothering people together with him, laughing at the misfortune of others in a position worse than his!"
"We know that's not the case because Jonas is our friend!" Sasha yells back. That much Samuel should've known "Him and Eric both are!"
"Are they!?" Samuel yells back, and after that, his face falls, the anger melting away to grief "We thought the same of Reiner and Bertolt, didn't we? Annie too. Were they really our friends, Sasha?"
"That's-!" she averts her gaze from him, biting her lip.
"Different? No, it's not" he says "They pretended to be our friends for their own agenda, and when it was no longer convenient for them, they no longer bothered. And that was even though they were Eldians like us. Eric and Jonas, on the other hand, are not. They aren't and don't want to be friends with devils like us!"
Now Samuel storms off too, and Sasha's left alone with her swirling thoughts in the darkening night.
"How did things turn out like this?" she wonders as she sinks down to the ground, the palms of her hands pressed to her eyes "Just yesterday, everything seemed to be going so well!"
She didn't know how long she stayed there, but when she finally got up, no one else was left outside anymore. It was a good thing; no one could see her puffy red eyes like this.
XXXXX
Nikolo had a hard time thinking clearly again, but it wasn't quite as bad as it used to be. At this point, he was actually able to understand that he'd been drugged again while under the substance's effects, but he didn't feel like he was any closer to being able to hold a proper conversation. Though he probably wouldn't have been able to do so now even if he wasn't on drugs, not with Ulrich, who was currently leaning against the wall at the foot of his bed. He'd missed when the man came in, but he was pretty sure he was alone, not even a doctor or a nurse in the room with them. He should at least try to talk to his brother, even though he probably wouldn't be able to say anything understandable, even though Ulrich would probably just let him have it if he came to the conclusion that Nikolo was in the condition to understand what he said. But he had to try.
"Ulrich…" he managed to get the name out, and he got his brother's attention as the man stopped talking, Nikolo hadn't been able to really make out what it had been about, and looked at him. That was a start.
"Yeah?" his brother asks, or at least he's pretty sure he does. He thought he heard so, and Ulrich's mouth moved in a way that made it likely. Now, what was he supposed to tell him again?
"Nicky, what is it?" Ulrich was closer now, really close in fact as he'd come to stand next to Nikolo's head instead.
"The… doctor…" Nikolo had to tell him the truth about the doctor, that he was being constantly drugged. It was unlikely he'd be believed, but if he could make his brother even a little suspicious about the hospital staff, that'd be a start.
"You want me to get the doctor?" Ulrich asks, and this time Nikolo definitely heard him clearly. Unfortunately, the man had misunderstood. Nikolo moved his left hand clumsily, managing to grasp his brother's sleeve after a few attempts. It was good that he hadn't left right after he thought he understood what Nikolo wanted.
"No" he managed, and was surprised how clearly, he got it out. And judging from the looks of it, Ulrich was surprised, too "The doctor… he…"
Nikolo felt drowsy, and he blinked a few times, trying to get a better focus. Ulrich was still there though, waiting. He still had a chance.
"He's trouble… don't… believe him…" he knew he should tell more, to explain himself, but he felt tired, so he made it short. Besides, he didn't know how else to put it… maybe he should've said he was constantly getting drugged? Yes, that's what he should've said, he should tell that to his brother. He opened his mouth again, and it moved, but he was pretty sure he didn't get the words out the way he intended, at least if Ulrich's frown was anything to go by. Had he even understood what he thought he'd said clearly? Nikolo couldn't be sure of even that. He tries to say it all again, but he's pretty sure all that comes out is complete gibberish.
"You should rest, Nicky" Ulrich says, at least Nikolo can understand that much, and pries his brother's hand away from his sleeve "I'll come again."
Ulrich leaves, but Nikolo doesn't have long to mull over it as the exhaustion takes over and he falls in to restless slumber.
XXXXX
Sasha couldn't let yesterday ruin their connection with Jonas, so in the morning before work, she loitered near the Marleyan settlement, wanting to talk to him. It probably wasn't her brightest idea, but she felt like she had to get this done as soon as possible, before things somehow got worse. She did her best to look formal yet unthreatening when the Marleyans started to pass by. Some made a point of passing by her from as far as they could, but most simply glared at her as they passed. None stopped to ask her what she was doing there though, and Sasha wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. She certainly didn't want to explain this to every passerby, but their lack of interest was a little weird.
"Maybe they think that I have an agreed upon meeting with one of their officers or something? That'd explain the lack of interest" she thought, smiling at yet another Marleyan that passed by her with a glare.
"Is there a reason you're standing there?" a clearly high ranking Marleyan asks, stopping a good five meters away from her. Even most of the ones who just went past dared to come closer than that, even if only briefly.
Pushing that from her mind for now, Sasha salutes, having decided that acting formal might be for the best if someone questioned her presence there.
"I think I unintentionally angered one of your soldiers yesterday, and I came here to clear the air" well, it was actually Samuel who'd angered Jonas, but the man didn't need to know that "I don't want there to be any bad blood between us."
The man looks stunned, and for a moment, Sasha dares to hope that he could be easily reasoned with. But that idea is thrown out the window when the man scowls, saying: "There is nothing but bad blood between us and your kind."
Huh, so he was that kind of man. Sasha wasn't surprised, not really, but she would've thought that someone of so high rank would act civil. Well, at least he just said "your kind" and not "devils."
"Well in that case, I'd like to avoid creating worse blood between us" she corrected herself "We should avoid unnecessary conflict, should we not, sir?"
The man narrowed his eyes, likely contemplating if he should let Sasha have it now or play along to keep up appearances. If he chose the former, she would back down. Not because she'd be afraid of this man, but to prevent things from escalating.
She notices that they're the center of the attention of the passing Marleyans, few having stopped to watch whatever was going on. It made Sasha a little uncomfortable; while she was confident, she could hold her own against any individual soldier they had here, if they ganged up on her…
"I should've dragged Samuel along" she realized. It was unlikely they'd do anything; it'd be dangerous for them since this was Eldia, but she couldn't know for sure. All it would take would be one too hotheaded soldier who wouldn't stay in line.
"Yes, we should" the man agrees "Which is why I have to ask you to leave; you are disturbing our soldiers."
He did have a point; quite few people had stopped on their way to do whatever they needed to do, watching them. Her presence was disturbing them. This had been a really bad idea after all.
"Right. Sorry about that" Sasha salutes and walks away, trying not to go too fast so it wouldn't look like she was running away. That did not go as planned.
