Chapter 58
It was finally time for the gathering, not that Nikolo had exactly been looking forward to it; he just wanted it out of the way already. And at the same time, he didn't, for that would mean that Dr. Becker could give another order at any moment, one worse than this.
"Just gotta deal with this now, don't think about the future" of course, that was easier said than done. Nikolo glances at Ulrich next to him, in a black suit identical to his. Part of him had been expecting his brother to bring up their talk to their father, but he'd seen no signs of it so far, so he probably hadn't. But he could still do so at any time.
"You know, it's boring to just stand here. You ready to mingle with the others? Do you remember how to do it properly?"
Nikolo rolls his eyes. Yes, he remembered the rules, both the written and unwritten ones from how to hold his wine glass, he definitely held the red wine in his hand properly, to laughing when someone important made a joke even if it wasn't funny. It was not difficult once you knew the rules.
"Yeah, let's go" he didn't bother suggesting that Ulrich could go without him; as was discussed earlier, his father had insisted right before the party that Nikolo was with a family member at all times, unless he left before the others, and Ulrich had the first babysitting duty, much to the man's displeasure. And Nikolo's, but if the choice was between his older brother and his mom, he knew which guard he'd pick.
They walked up to old acquaintances Nikolo hadn't seen in who knows how many years, most whom he recognized the faces of but could no longer put a name on, but fortunately, Ulrich always greeted whoever they talked to or who came to talk to them loudly and overly cheerfully with their name. It took until the third person for Nikolo to realize that his brother was doing it on purpose, not letting anyone see who he remembered and who he didn't. He wondered how obvious it was to the others, but if they did catch on, they didn't point it out.
In the middle of all this, Nikolo felt conflicted. Being among these people in their fancy suits and dresses, drinking fine wines in this glamorous, big space made him feel like he belonged. He knew that wasn't quite it; he had never really felt that way in these gatherings when he was young, so it had to be nostalgy talking. He didn't belong, but he couldn't deny that he knew how to blend in, and he was remembering little things he'd forgotten as he went along. He was able to take part in conversations his brother had, though he made sure to let Ulrich do most of the talking; he knew he could still mess something up. Well, that and the fact that he wasn't up to date about their family business. At all. Maybe he should look in to changing that.
He was pleased at how well this was all going; so far, he had made no major mistakes, no one questioned him about his situation too much or too bluntly (of course, he knew there'd be gossiping afterwards, there always was, that was how it went), there was good food and wine, which he made sure to not drink too much, and the general atmosphere of the place was good. But despite this, he wasn't having a good time, not really. It was only after he joined the military that he got to experience not so formal parties and gatherings, and while he'd thought them vulgar at first, he'd grown to love them. He'd loved the ones he'd been involved in at Paradis too, as something else than just a cook, as Sasha and her friends' guest, but it had taken him years to admit that.
He missed it.
He missed Sasha most of all, of course, but the longer he spent off the island, the more he missed the happy life he'd created there. It hadn't been ideal, and never would've been if he had ended up having to stay there, but he'd still been happy. Of course, he was happy to be with his family again, and this type of life wouldn't be so bad, but it wasn't what he wanted for himself. He'd been rather satisfied with his life in the military, too; he'd had his friends there, but the shadow of constantly having to hide what he'd learned on the island, how his views had changed, had always been there.
Nikolo really wanted to get back to the island, not just for Sasha, but also for the life he had once built there, the life that he could hopefully rebuild in to something even better since he'd no longer be a prisoner. But for that to ever happen, he'd have to focus on the present now.
The well-dressed man they're talking to, he already forgot the name and hoped he wouldn't need it tonight, tells a dry joke, but Nikolo laughs along with Ulrich anyway, thinking of how Connie always made way better jokes.
XXXXX
Sasha wasn't sure how much time had passed since her talk with Captain Frank, but her guess was that it had been about a week. She tried to keep a track of days by counting the meals, which she still got regularly, but she couldn't be sure if she had messed up at some point. She had nothing to mark the days down with, either, which made counting even harder.
Aside from the times someone brought her food, no one ever stopped by. She'd tried to talk to whoever brought her meals a few times, but not once she got an answer, not even an angry snap to be quiet, she assumed they'd specifically been told to not do even that, so she had stopped trying. She did consider the option of keeping nagging at whoever came and annoying them in to answering, but decided against it; each time she got no answer, she'd just feel more disappointed. Plus, she didn't want to risk annoying anyone too much.
Sasha sighs, sitting up in her little bed, already used to calling the bench with a thin mattress on it with such a word. She looks around her cell, and it's the same as ever, nothing's changed, meaning there's nothing to do. And that sucked. She was so anxious to distract herself with something that if someone walked in to her cell right now and told her that she had to clean the other cells or stables or even the toilets, she'd jump at the chance. What she wouldn't give right now to be at home, bossed around by Captain Levi and having to clean the entire headquarters, alone even if needed. At least then she'd have her hands full of action; the place was huge. She would start from the upper floors, sweep and dust every corner, wash every window, repeat the process in every room, making sure to air them out in the process… and she supposed she could clean the stables, too. And pick up weeds. She could go to the kitchen, undoubtedly with someone keeping an eye on her, claiming that she couldn't be trusted alone around anything eatable, polish the kitchenware, do any dishes that were left lying around… and if she ran out of other things, she could even do the dreaded task of cleaning the fancier teacups in the upper shelves that everyone knew was the captain's private collection. Break a cup and you're screwed, but at this point, Sasha would've been perfectly ready for the risk.
"Oh, c'mon!" Sasha groans loudly, burying her burning face to her hands. Was she seriously fantasizing about cleaning!? What was she, Levi number two? If this wasn't a sign of approaching insanity, she didn't know what was. Trying to clean her little cell that had nothing in it to be cleaned or nothing to clean with in the first place, perhaps? She'd bet her dinner that even with things as they were, the captain would surely find something to clean from here and a way to actually do it. But as bored as she was, Sasha didn't crave for distraction enough to try and look for that something. At least not yet. Still, she could handle doing nothing only for so long, so she got up and started doing some squats. This way, at the very least, she could somewhat stay in shape and be ready to return to duty once she got out.
"If I get out" Sasha thought, but then shook her head, not interrupting her exercise while at it.
She would get out.
XXXXX
As far as Nikolo knew, the gathering had gone well. Of course, his role had been just to show up and let people know he was still around plus, between the lines, to not embarrass his family while he was at it, so he hadn't had it hard in the first place. But it seemed to have gone well for his family too, at least judging from the smiles on their faces. It had never been said out loud, so it had taken Nikolo until his later teenage years to understand that these gatherings, which were officially just fancy parties where selected people were meant to enjoy themselves, were actually places where a quite amount of important business deals were first prepared verbally in, yet never put officially on paper until later. When he had wondered about it in front of Ulrich back in the day, his brother had rolled his eyes and said, like it was obvious, and to him it probably had been, that the events were simply an excuse to keep important deals within a chosen circle without making it too obvious for outsiders. And that, Nikolo had realized on that evening, was what really made him important for Dr. Becker and whoever he was working for. It was this financially and, to a lesser degree, politically powerful group of people that they wanted to discourage from getting in to too close terms with Paradis Island. One thing they may have overlooked was that while Nikolo would be discouraging the businessmen of Marley from going to Paradis, people from at least some other nations would still dare to try to reach out to the island and have less competition due to this… or did they have enough people who they did wish to connect with the place under their control to make sure the competition didn't get too fierce? It was possible, as was the idea that they counted on whispers going around fast enough that people wouldn't dare to get involved in such a risky business.
But no matter how important all of that was and how Nikolo knew that he should get at least a little more familiar with the business world again, that could wait. Nothing related to it was on his to do -list right now. Trying to find Thomas or Jonas, or preferably both, was, and he'd wait for them near the gates of the interment zone if he had to. But since he'd most likely be seen as suspicious if he hung around there for no reason, he tried the military barracks where they were bunking at first. Of course, the chances that they'd be there right now were low; it was the middle of a weekday, so they were either at work or, if either of them happened to have a day off, likely spending it anywhere but there. But he could find out when they'd be likely to be back, and he'd also hear if they had been stationed elsewhere. It'd be a bit disappointing if they had and thus, he couldn't see them, but at least it'd explain why they hadn't come to see him themselves.
He walks in with a relaxed but trained gait, and the few strangers that pass him by in the corridor either assume that he lives there, or that he was a permitted visitor. Nikolo himself knew he was stretching the rules; while he had visited Jonas here a few times unannounced in the past, there had been no problems since he'd been a soldier at the time, but now, as a civilian, he wasn't actually supposed to be walking around here on his own. He'd decided to risk it though since at worst he'd just get a scolding if caught… well, more like when caught if he found Thomas; there was no way the man would just let it slide.
He reaches Jonas' door, he started there because he'd like to avoid the scolding, and knocks. No answer, but he expected as much. Shrugging, Nikolo goes to the end of the corridor and down some stairs before noting the numbers on the doors as he passes them, stopping at the fifth door and knocking again. He waits, but there's no answer. He knew both Thomas and Jonas had roommates, but they clearly weren't in, either. He could've sat down to wait at either one's door, he even had a book in his shoulder bag for that reason alone, but sitting here could potentially mean missing Jonas, and the same other way around. And because of that, he chose to sit down with his book near the front door. Of course, that meant it was likely for some other familiar face to spot him first and question why he was there, but since he wouldn't be causing any trouble, he highly doubted he'd be driven off even if his presence wasn't all that welcomed.
Nikolo had arrived at the building around midday, and had settled down outside to read his book less than ten minutes later. Surprisingly, it takes only little over an hour for the first familiar face to arrive from where ever he'd been and question him about his intentions. Unfortunately, it wasn't one of the two he was waiting for, so he just told the man he was waiting for either Jonas or Thomas to show up and, while he was at it, asked if he knew when either of them would be back. To his surprise, he was informed that Thomas no longer lived at the barracks, having apparently rented an actual apartment in the city instead. While it was unexpected, Nikolo didn't dwell on it; the man might've just gotten tired of his roommate or had been saving for a place of his own for a while already, who knows.
"And Jonas? Is he in town or has he been sent elsewhere?" Nikolo doesn't miss how the man's face falls at the question; he'd have to be blind to do so. Frowning, he asks: "Has something happened to him?"
"Well… um… I'm not sure if I should tell you? I mean, you're no longer in the military, so… yeah, I'm gonna leave that decision to someone else. Sorry."
"…Don't worry, I get it. But I take it he won't be showing up here, then?" Nikolo asks, and gets a nod as reply, so he closes his book, says his thanks and walks away, mind swirling.
What was it that he couldn't be told? Had Jonas gotten himself in trouble by angering his superiors, or was he hurt? He'd have to ask from Thomas, he supposed. It took some digging, including a visit to some of his other former colleagues at the interment zone gate, who seemed happy to see him doing better, though the meeting was a bit awkward, but fortunately, one of them had Thomas' address, though he also told Nikolo that the man was at work now. He could've stayed at the gates to wait, his friends hadn't forbidden it, but he could tell they'd be uncomfortable if he did, so he headed for where Thomas lived, stopping on the way to get himself lunch from a nearby restaurant as he did since he'd also found out that Thomas' shift wouldn't end until four p.m.
After eating, the lunch had been light but satisfying, Nikolo still has a fair amount of time left, which was good since he wasn't familiar with the neighborhood; it might take him a while to find his destination. He looks around, noting that while the place was by no means the worst neighborhood, it was old and the buildings were rather worn out. Nothing seemed to be on the verge of collapsing, but the paint was peeling off here and there. Sure, some places had clearly gotten some new paint at some point, but the shade was off from the original enough to tell exactly where the new layer begun and ended. It was no surprise that Thomas could afford to live here, but Nikolo did wonder why he bothered instead of bunking at the barracks for a little longer and saving for a better place. Perhaps his theory about Thomas getting tired of his roommate was a correct one… or maybe he just wanted some more privacy? Maybe he had found himself a girlfriend? Nikolo made a mental note to ask him about that after the more important things, assuming they didn't get in to any arguments over those; he was a little irked for not seeing Thomas in so long, and he hoped his friend had a good reason for staying away.
Nikolo turns a corner, hoping that it's in the right direction as he doesn't see any street names anywhere. He did a few blocks ago though, and he recognized the name from the brief look he had taken at a map when his former coworker had shown him which route to take, so assuming he hadn't taken a wrong turn, he was close. Even so, it probably wouldn't hurt to ask for confirmation from some passerby if he didn't find the right building soon. Not that there were many people around, but it wasn't eerily quiet, either; he had just passed by a group of children playing kick the can, right in the middle of the street no less, and there was a man walking in to his direction directly across from him. He could see movement from the open curtains of some of the houses, too, so knocking on someone's door and asking for directions was an option, too. But only if he ended up circling around, which he was pretty sure wouldn't happen; he had a decent sense of direction after all.
Nikolo continues walking forwards, stopping only when the building right on his path stops him and the road forks in to two different directions. He remembered this intersection from the map and knew he was close. Now, he only had to remember if he was supposed to turn right or left. The problem with that was that he had forgotten which way it was, and he sighs. Did this count as being lost? He knew he was on the right path so far, and that he had a 50/50 chance of getting it right now. But if he got it wrong, who knew how long it'd take him to notice and find his way back… not that he'd get lost all that badly, he knew, this was a city, not a forest, but it'd be an annoyance.
"Ah what the hell, no use wasting time standing here" he muttered, turning left. There was no reason for it, he could've as well chosen right, but he didn't. The street was quiet, more so than the ones before, but as he saw a street sign, Nikolo smiled. He'd picked the right direction, and now he only needed to follow the building numbers and then go in and find the right door… or wait for Thomas in front of the building. Yeah, that was probably wiser instead of loitering around at the hallways; if a neighbor noticed, they might worry.
"Four, six… there, number eight!" he muttered as he walked on before finding the right building. Three stories high, and not too wide; even if the apartments were small, only four or five would fit per floor. As far as Nikolo could tell, the place was sturdy, but he could clearly see the paint peeling off of the door- and window frames… well, maybe that was Thomas' style; he had never felt like the type to put priority on outward appearances… the literal ones, that is. He did have that good soldier -image to uphold, to a point that had occasionally annoyed Nikolo. Then again, he'd kept up an image to a certain extent until he'd snapped that one night, so who was he to judge?
Taking out his pocket watch, Nikolo saw that it was just around four. If Thomas came straight home, he would probably take around half an hour… and if he didn't and went, for example, drinking with friends after work, he'd have a long wait. He hadn't really thought this through, but he had time, so he went and sat on the bench in front of the opposite building and took out his book. He'd wait until six p.m. and if Thomas wasn't back by then, he'd come back another day.
Thomas arrives just a little before five, carrying a grocery bag in his arms. Nikolo puts away his few pages away from being finished book and calls out to get the man's attention, getting him to stop as he walks over. Thomas looks surprised to see him, but not enough so to not have known that he'd gotten out of the hospital.
"Hi. Good to see you doing better… but what are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, since you haven't bothered to show yourself in a while. Neither has Jonas by the way, and I'm guessing you know something about that."
Nikolo has his eyes tightly set on Thomas' face, but turns out it wasn't necessary; he would've had to have been blind to miss the way he flinches, not to mention how his face falls. The flinch could be quilt, but that face talked about something worse, and knowing where Jonas had been heading the last time Nikolo saw him, he feared the worst. Had he gotten caught up in something? But he hadn't heard any rumors about the island, so either it wasn't all that bad on the larger scale of things, or perhaps something happened after he came back.
"Out with it, Thomas. Where's Jonas? What happened to him? And if you say you can't tell me because I'm no longer part of the military, I'll go and find someone who can. And potentially get myself in trouble while doing so, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
That was partly a bluff; while he'd definitely look in to it, he'd be more careful than what he made it sound like. But Thomas didn't need to know that, especially since, judging from his face, it seemed to be working.
"I was going to say that, but you'll hear sooner or later, I suppose. I'm actually surprised you haven't already" he says. Nikolo doesn't rush him when he goes quiet, but keeps his gaze on the man to know that he's waiting "I'm sorry, Nikolo. Jonas is dead."
The words hit Nikolo hard; he had realized that something bad had happened, but he hadn't even considered that his friend could be dead. He had assumed that Jonas had gotten involved in some trouble, perhaps on the island, started by himself or someone else, and had gotten repositioned or, if it had been really bad, kicked out of the military as a penalty. The thought that he'd been wounded and was hospitalized had also briefly crossed his mind, as well as the possibility that he had volunteered to stay on Paradis, but this…
Nikolo feels sick to his stomach. For his friend's death, but also because of what it might mean for the peace… realizing that thinking of the bigger picture makes him not mourn his friend properly makes him feel even worse, but he forces the bile back down his throat. He needed to know for sure.
"What happened? Was it on the island? By one of the islanders? Or was it here? I know you probably aren't allowed to tell the details, but at the very least, I need to know where it happened. I need to know if the peace we've achieved is in danger."
"No one is in danger, so calm down" Thomas says hurriedly, holding his hands out in front of him as he sees Nikolo's desperation "Take a deep breath, alright? I'll tell you what little I know, but you need to keep it to yourself. Got it?"
Nikolo does as told, repeating the inhale and release -process several times before looking at Thomas again. He hesitates, but just as Nikolo's about to urge him to start, he does: "Jonas died on the island. I don't know too many details, but apparently, there's some faction there that aims for the rumbling. Jonas somehow managed to catch some of them red handed, I don't know exactly what they were doing, and that resulted in to a struggle, one that he took a bullet in. A medic apparently got there quickly, but the injury was too severe, and he died rather fast after taking the bullet. The culprit was executed on the island, the islanders permitted it, so there's no need to fear them starting a war over it, and apparently an accomplish of his was brought to Marley for some further questioning. Officially, there was a tight gag order about this to not cause panic, but the word has gotten around within our ranks rather well. So far it doesn't seem to have leaked out to the public though, or if it has, they might simply be thinking that it's just a rumor."
Nikolo's knees felt weak, and it took a lot of willpower out of him to stay standing. What he just heard was a lot to process, and he didn't even know where to start. How had Jonas of all people gotten involved in something like that? Was he the only casualty? Who was the executed killer? The accomplish? What was the situation on Paradis now; were his friends in danger? Was Sasha okay!?
"Hey, easy now" Thomas says, putting a calming hand on Nikolo's shoulder "Like I said, the situation is under control. Nothing bad is going to happen."
Maybe not to them, but Sasha and the others- he needed to know!
"Is that all you know?" he asks, meeting Thomas' confused gaze with a steeled one of his own "Do you know how big that rebellious faction is? How well is it under control now? Are there members of their military in it? Anything else that could help?"
The look on Thomas' face is enough to tell Nikolo that he isn't going to get answers.
"I really don't know the details, Nikolo. And even if I did, I couldn't tell you. You're not a soldier anymore, and I really think you shouldn't bother yourself with these things even if they leaked out to the public; it won't do good to your recovery, and you could even get in trouble for trying to fish for confidential information. So please, go home and try not to think about it, alright?"
Nikolo is about to protest, but noticing the hand on his shoulder shake gives him a pause. Thomas is a trained soldier, yet he has trouble controlling himself now; he must be really worried. It probably includes worry about himself, wondering what it could get him in to if Nikolo caused trouble after talking to him and if people found out he'd told a civilian the little he knew, but Nikolo's not so blind that he wouldn't realize that his former partner's worry was directed to him as well.
"Alright" he says with a sigh, removing Thomas' hand. Being hasty about this would just get him in trouble without getting any information anyway; he'd have to be careful instead of just demanding information like this. And it wouldn't be right of him to get Thomas involved; they had their disagreements, but he knew his friend wasn't a bad guy "You're right, I shouldn't get involved. Guess I tend to forget that I'm not a soldier anymore when I hear about things like this… and hearing about a friend's death is always hard, even for a soldie- ahem, a former soldier."
"Yes, it is. I know I should've come to tell you, at least after you got out, your brother kept in touch with me so I knew when you did, but I just didn't know how to break the news to you, and I thought they'd hinder your recovery, so…"
"I get it" Nikolo interrupts before Thomas can ramble any more "Really, I do. I don't agree with the course of action you took, but I understand why you took it."
Thomas is clearly relieved. Then they both just stand there, a little awkward, and Nikolo wonders if Thomas is wondering about if he should invite him in or not. He wouldn't mind; he didn't have anything to do for the rest of the day, he'd have to figure out where to start before snooping around, and he wouldn't mind catching up, but he couldn't just invite himself over. If they were at the barracks, he could and most likely even would, but a place outside of military grounds was another thing entirely; it wasn't just a convenient place to stay but a home, and one couldn't just walk in to another's home uninvited.
Nikolo glances at the large grocery bag in Thomas' arms. Judging from the size, there was quite a lot in it, and it made him wonder if it was all for the man himself. Perhaps he really had found himself a woman and was now living with her, or perhaps the woman visited a lot. Or maybe he just had a roommate, who knew. Nikolo knew it wasn't his business, but he was curious, so he decides to ask.
"That's quite a lot of food. Are you perhaps cooking for a special someone?"
Thomas' face immediately reddens, which is an answer enough in itself, but after he hurriedly stutters a shaky denial, Nikolo becomes convinced that he's right. Deciding that his day needed some cheering up, the former soldier smirks as he decides to dick deeper in to this information.
"Right right, of course there's no one" he says, the smirk never leaving his face as he swings his arm over Thomas' shoulders "You just happened to buy a lot of food, all for yourself, right?"
"…I never said I was going to eat it all by myself" Thomas mutters, starting to regain his composure as the red on his face fades to a mild hue "Yes, I'm having a friend over, but you have the wrong idea; it's not like that between us."
"Uhhuh, sure. And you going all red when I asked about it was what, an allergic reaction? To what?"
Thomas narrows his eyes, and Nikolo doesn't recall ever seeing him with such an annoyed expression.
"To your nosiness, maybe. The timing would certainly fit" he says. They stare at each other, Nikolo still smirking, Thomas looking to be somewhere between annoyed and angry, with hints of embarrassment still there. His grip on the bag has tightened, giving away his nervousness even more, and Nikolo wonders if the man is unused to being teased like this. Maybe he should cut him some slack?
"Alright, alright, just having some fun!" Nikolo laughs, holding his hands up "No need to tell me if you don't want to."
"There's nothing to tell" Thomas says immediately, his stiff tone giving Nikolo a pause. He looked really tense, like he was desperate for Nikolo to believe his words. That was confusing, and he wanted to look in to it, but he feared that Thomas, as calm and collected as he usually was, would not take that well. It was time to walk away, before he'd get a black eye and have his mother fuss over him more than she already does.
"Alright then" he says, turning on his heels and waiving over his shoulder "See you around."
"…Yeah, see you" he hesitated before he said that, Nikolo could tell, and it made him wonder if Thomas wasn't embarrassed about introducing someone to him, but about introducing him to whoever he was about to dine with. Maybe he was too embarrassing of a company due to his situation, maybe Thomas was actually avoiding him, trying to cut him off, and he had just failed to get the hint? If that was really the case, he should-
"Nikolo!" the voice stops the man in question in his tracks. He's not sure why; he knew the voice was familiar, but his brain couldn't make a connection on why it would make him freeze up like this or who it belonged to. For a moment, he's unsure if he even wants to find out, but when he hears Thomas' frantic voice ushering someone to go back inside, curiosity immediately wins out and he turns around, seeing something he definitely wasn't expecting.
There was Thomas, of course, but his groceries, now laying on the ground, the bag having tipped over, spilling its contents, was no longer in his arms as he tried to push another person away, hands on his shoulders. And while he hadn't recognized the man's voice, he'd like to believe it was because it had been so unexpected, he immediately recognized the face framed by now shoulder length brown hair.
"What the… Herbert!?" he calls out, and Thomas freezes. That gives Herbert, it really is him, Nikolo had thought he'd be dead by now, a chance to escape his grip and get past him as he runs over to his friend.
"Nikolo! Good to see you're alright; I heard you get in to lot of trouble because of us! I'm so sorry, we shouldn't have gotten you involved!"
Nikolo barely hears him, the surprise in his mind overlapping with any other thoughts. How come Herbert had suddenly shown up out of the blue? Where had he been hiding to not be caught already? Suddenly remembering that Thomas was also there, Nikolo looks past the Eldian to see the soldier, and for a single second he's ready to dash at the man to hold him back and tell Herbert to run, but then reality catches up and he remembers what he'd seen just seconds before. While Thomas was clearly upset about Herbert showing up, his actions and the annoyed frown on his face were enough of a tell, he hadn't seemed all that surprised to see the man. Had he not tried to push the Eldian back and said what he did, what had that even been about, Nikolo wouldn't even have thought that Thomas remembered him. But clearly, that wasn't the case. Eyes still on Thomas, who is now looking around uncomfortably, like afraid that someone will see them, he asks: "What exactly is going on?"
The first to try to answer is, surprisingly enough, Herbert.
"Ah, well I- "
"Not here" Thomas cuts him off from where he stands "Get back inside. Now. And if you" he's addressing Nikolo "want answers, follow him. I'd prefer if you just walked away and pretended you didn't see anything, but knowing you, that's not going to happen, so both of you just go. Now."
Herbert obeys immediately, probably expecting Nikolo to follow after him. The former soldier sees his friend who he thought to be dead long since pause at the sight of the fallen groceries, but Thomas ushers him to continue, proceeding to pick everything up by himself. Once Herbert disappears through the open door, Nikolo finally snaps out of it and rushes after him, glancing at Thomas while passing him, but not stopping. Once he gets inside, he sees Herbert waiting for him, or so he assumes, right next to the door. Before he can ask any questions, the Eldian is already halfway up the stairs, his speed clearly not limited only to open ground. Wordlessly, he follows, but once they reach wherever they're going, probably Thomas' place, he realizes, he better get some answers.
They go up two sets of stairs, reaching the second last apartment on the top floor, the slightly dented wooden door left wide open, like someone had rushed out in a hurry. Herbert probably had, Nikolo realized, perhaps after seeing him from a window.
Nikolo goes in first, coming to a narrow hallway with a window at the end and a door on each side of it. As he walks past a tall wooden cabinet, he notices a third door right next to it. Despite having a lot in his mind, or perhaps precisely because of it, Nikolo takes a good look around the place from where he stands. The walls are bare, some of the white paint peeling off here and there, and aside from the cabinet, the only thing he could tell Thomas had brought in were the thick, black curtains drawn over the window, only a small ray of sunlight coming in through them. Why they were closed Nikolo had no clue, for the entry hall didn't seem to have any other source of light.
The sound of the door closing brought Nikolo out of his musings, bringing his attention back to Herbert. The Eldian asked him if he wanted tea, and while Nikolo wanted to deny it and say that he wanted answers instead, he found himself nodding and following the other man to the kitchen. He couldn't help but notice that his companion was avoiding the window, the scenery, which was simply the opposite building on the other side of the road, behind it only half visible from behind a familiar thick curtain. It was only then that Nikolo realized the curtains had to be there for helping Herbert hide, and he grew more and more impatient for answers. Even so, he sat down on a bench behind the kitchen table, waiting for the promised tea, trying to gather his thoughts. Once he heard the door open, he decided to demand for answers as soon as Thomas would come to view.
"Okay, now what is going on?" Nikolo ends up asking as soon as he catches a glimpse of Thomas' shoe, the man coming to full view with the grocery bag in his hands when he finishes talking.
"It's a long story" Thomas says as he goes to put the bag on the small counter, taking two of the three mugs that Herbert had just poured full with him as he joins Nikolo at the table, sitting down across from him. Herbert remains where he is, leaning against the counter, and by now Nikolo is aware enough of the situation to know that the reason he isn't joining them is the window next to the table "One that Herbert should start."
And Herbert did. He started with the story Nikolo had already heard from Helmut on that fateful night about how they and some others had tried to steal an airship to get to Paradis, but with much more detail than Nikolo had gotten from the other Eldian. He confessed that the plan had been in the making for a long time, a few years before the peace between Marley and Eldia became official in fact, and had been meant to put in action as soon as they found a trustworthy pilot who was confident enough in their own skills. In the meantime, their group was meant to get in to good graces, as good as Eldians could get, that is, of the targeted airship's owner. They did that by doing all the odd jobs, usually physically demanding ones, the man would pass off to Eldians, and to make sure that their group monopolized the jobs, they made sure to do it cheaper than others would. Not that any Eldians were paid much, but the difference was enough for the man to favor them, especially since they always made sure to get their jobs done properly and in time, or if possible, ahead of the schedule. It was partly due this trust that the brothers, and their friends, Nikolo found out, got the permits to leave the interment zone so often and easily as they did, which they took full advantage of to stay in shape. Everything had gone smoothly for so long that, now that he was looking back on it, Herbert felt like they should have realized it was too good to be true, but not one of them had realized it at the time.
On the night they were all supposed to leave, they had permits to stay out late to work on some construction in the rich merchant's property, they had been caught near the airship by a soldier who'd happened to pass by on patrol, or so they had thought at the time. It was only later that Herbert had learned from the pieces of information that Thomas had subtly gathered that the merchant they'd worked for had been suspicious for a long time, and had had private guards and soldiers observe them in case something happened. To this day Herbert wasn't sure what had made the man suspicious. Perhaps it was the fact that they were so cheap, perhaps they complained too little considering the treatment they got, or maybe the man was suspicious of Eldians in general. But the end result was that a pair of soldiers had heard a conversation between them, one of escape plans that in itself already got them a death sentence if caught. Knowing that had them all panicking, and one of them actually attacked the soldiers, thinking they'd be safe if the two were silenced. Which would've probably been the case; the man managed to fatally wound one of the soldiers, slashing a gaping wound to the man's throat with a knife he'd pulled out before either of the Marleyans could react properly, so together they all could've overwhelmed the other one as well had they attacked as a group, but everyone else had hesitated. They did so even when their friend had yelled at them to help him, his knife and the arm wielding it already stained with blood, and only when the other Marleyan got over his shock enough to pull out his gun did they react, but not the way their friend wished.
Instead, they all bolted.
As he turned around at that moment, it was the last time Herbert saw the man, but his fate was by no means a mystery to him; he'd heard the gunshot. It had been a miracle, one that Herbert later reasoned had to be due to the soldier's shock, that not even one of the rest of them had been taken down straight away.
After that shot, Herbert's memory was a little blurry. He regarded hearing an order to split up, and running to the opposite direction than the others with his brother. He recalled the other bang, one that ended as pain in his leg, and the difficulty to run. His brother dragging him along to escape as his leg bled, preventing him from sprinting away the way he otherwise would. He knew he'd somehow convinced Helmut to leave him, though he didn't remember what he'd said, and his brother handing him a gun for self-defense before they parted ways. After that, he'd aimlessly wandered around the shadows, trying to stay hidden for what felt like a small eternity but had to have been a few hours at most, probably not even that, before seeing his brother again. He'd seen him with Nikolo, approaching the other soldiers, and while he hadn't heard the conversation, Nikolo noted that he had correctly put together the general flow of it. The former soldier had wanted to interrupt his friend several times already, but not nearly as much as he did at that point. He'd wanted to apologize so badly, but he'd held it in after he'd looked at Herbert's glass like gaze aimed at the bare wall directly across from him as he kept speaking.
According to his own words, Herbert had wanted to scream at Nikolo to turn back when he'd started to walk away, for him to stay and protect his brother, but terror had rooted him to the spot, speechless. He'd seen it all, and he remembered the way his brother's body hit the ground with clarity, just like he did how Nikolo lost it and started a fight with the other soldiers, as well as how he had finally realized that his friend was trying to buy him time to escape. He'd done so eventually after realizing it and after that, things became a blur again, even more so than before.
They'd set up a safe house beforehand, which was nothing more than an old hut in the woods near their usual jogging path, and somehow, Herbert had managed to make his way there. He didn't remember the trip, but he remembered himself there, tending to his wound, drinking some water they'd left there and waiting for the others. And waiting, later finding out from Thomas that he'd apparently spent a few days there before the soldier in question had found him. The mention of his other friend was when Nikolo could no longer take it and interrupted the story.
"How did you of all people find him? And why didn't you…" Nikolo trails off, but there's no doubt both men know what he meant to ask. Thomas puts down his mug, he'd been drinking it from time to time as Herbert spoke, but the other two's cups remained untouched, probably cold by now.
"Everyone knew that looking for the still missing ones near the places they were known to frequent was a good idea, and once I got the names, I recalled hearing them before. I didn't actually think I'd find anyone in those woods, it was a long shot I decided to check just so that it wouldn't bother me afterwards, so I didn't even tell anyone of my suspicions. Having a gun pointed at me when I opened the door of that hut was a shock."
Nikolo glances at Herbert, but the man doesn't react to it, seeming to have gotten lost in his thoughts after Thomas started speaking.
"He was easy to disarm, even despite my initial shock. Of course, had he not hesitated, he would've had the chance to kill me before I managed to pull out my own gun."
"…And you didn't report him to your superiors because…?"
Annoyance flashes over Thomas' face, but Nikolo has a gut feeling it isn't aimed at him.
"…I don't know" Thomas says after a while, and Nikolo feels like he isn't being honest with him. Was finding out the truth worth risking angering Thomas? It's not like he'd rat Herbert out for that or anything, surely not as he'd get in trouble for hiding him too if he did, but if Thomas got too angry, he'd probably throw Nikolo out before he could hear the whole story, so he decided to bottle up his suspicions for now. Instead, he asks another question: "Then what happened after you found him? How exactly did you end up hiding Herbert here?"
Turns out "how" was an easier question for Thomas to answer than "why." For the first few weeks, Herbert had stayed in the safehouse his group had put up, with Thomas secretly bringing him food when he could. Herbert hadn't run away as soon as he got a chance to since he hadn't been sure if he'd be able to, he'd admitted that to Thomas much, much later, and he hadn't had any idea where to go in the first place if he did run.
After those few weeks, Thomas had deemed it safe enough to get Herbert out of the woods. Coaxing the man out of the place he'd been safe in so far hadn't been easy, and in the end, Thomas had resorted to threatening to sell him out if Herbert didn't do as he said. He avoided Nikolo's gaze when he told that, and Nikolo tried not to be too judgmental. Sometimes ends justified the means, and this might've been one of those times.
By that time, Thomas had already rented this apartment. He didn't say so directly, but Nikolo was rather convinced that he'd ended up doing so precisely to hide Herbert, and got his confirmation when Thomas said that he had first considered renting a storage space, but had decided against it because sooner or later someone would've gotten suspicious about him constantly going there. And he would've had to in order to bring Herbert food, so hiding him in an apartment he rented was a far better choice. Of course, suddenly living with a stranger, wanted one on top of that, hadn't been easy for Thomas. But, Nikolo guessed, even less so for Herbert, who undoubtedly still feared for quite a while that Thomas would turn him in and who was still mourning his brother. But somehow, they'd gotten used to each other over time, Thomas didn't tell any specifics and Nikolo didn't ask, and by now they had set a well working routine. Or so Thomas said, but to Nikolo's ears Herbert having to avoid even walking around when his roommate wasn't home sounded kind of sad. Of course, he understood that they had to be cautious of curious neighbors; if they heard sounds from the apartment when no one was supposed to be home they could start to wonder… still, the restrictions made it sound like Herbert barely even had a life.
But at least he was still breathing, unlike his brother. The brother who Nikolo had personally escorted to his death, and Herbert knew that.
"I'm sorry" Nikolo says, looking at Herbert who was now sitting on the floor, leaning against the counter, eyes closed "I'm so sorry about Helmut. I didn't mean to- I really didn't think they would- gosh, I was an idiot! I- "
"I can't argue with that" Herbert cuts him off "You should've known they'd do that, anyone born and raised in Marley should've known that! Honestly, when I saw you leave my brother with those people, I did think that his death was what you wanted."
"Herbert- "Thomas starts, a disapproving scowl on his face as he looks over his shoulder. On some level, Nikolo appreciates it, but on another, he wishes the man wouldn't interrupt, for he knew he deserved whatever Herbert would throw at him.
The Eldian held up a hand, successfully silencing Thomas, though the man was still openly scowling at him.
"But you know, when I saw you lash out at those soldiers just after my brother died, I realized I'd been wrong. I should've known from the beginning that things didn't add up; yes, you should've known better, but then again, you should've also known better than associate yourself with Eldians like us, yet you kept doing so anyway. You're not like common sense should make people out to be; you're different. After my brother's death, I kept thinking it over for months without being able to find an answer as to why you were different. But then I went and flat-out asked Thomas. And he told something about you that made everything fall in to place." Herbert finally opens his eyes "Nine years on Paradis Island. I haven't figured out how it affected you the way it did, but the time you spent there has to be the key difference between you and any other soldier. Something that happened to you there made you… well, you, the person the two of us know. We might not have known you before you went to the island, but both of us agree that you couldn't have been the way you are now back then."
An uncomfortable, for Nikolo at least, silence follows Herbert's words. He avoids the Eldian's intense gaze, though even he himself isn't sure if he's doing so out quilt, shame, embarrassment or what. Guess he felt uncomfortable due to Herbert having it all figured out so well.
Wanting to distract himself with something, Nikolo takes a sip of his long-forgotten tea, barely keeping himself from making a face at the taste, this type of tea having not been meant to be drank cold. He catches sight of Thomas' wry smile, and realizes that something had given away his thoughts anyway.
"Just so we're clear, it's not like I think you were some huge asshole before going to that Island. I just think that you must've been more… well, the way people usually are" the soldier says, Nikolo sees Herbert's back straighten, the man no longer leaning against the counter "Of course, I didn't mean it like that, either! I just- "
Thomas laughs, cutting the now blushing Eldian off. Nikolo casts him a small glare, but decides not to comment on it as neither the man doesn't sound malicious. Before Nikolo has a chance to assure Herbert that everything is fine, Thomas says: "He panics like that from time to time when he thinks he's said something to make me angry, though he's been doing it less and less lately. Glad to see I'm not the only one scary enough to cause that."
Nikolo could imagine that. From behind the man's back, he saw Herbert give him an annoyed look, but it wasn't intimidating at all and that wasn't just because of the blush still on the Eldian's face, but that didn't help his case at all, either. For a moment he actually considered pointing out the ire to its target, but then changed his mind; Herbert's behavior didn't come from mere awkwardness, but from a real, still lingering fear. He might trust Thomas enough to not bail on him and, for some reason, he also trusted Nikolo enough to get his attention the way he had, but a life time of trouble from Marleyans like them had created instincts that would be hard, if not impossible, to completely undo.
Herbert's gaze moves to Nikolo, and for a moment the former soldier thinks he'll get his fair share of the ire. He's surprised when it turns out to not be the case.
"I'm sorry I thought so low of you, even if it wasn't for long. I should've known better."
Nikolo stares. He had walked the man's brother to his death, and yet his friend… oh, hell.
"I'm the one who should be apologizing; like you said, I should've known better" he says "I didn't do it on purpose, but the fact is that I walked Helmut to his death! I-!"
"Enough!" Thomas interrupts sternly, slamming his mug on the table. Nikolo startles at the sudden noise, but it's nothing compared to the way Herbert jumps, so he tells himself to make sure not to make any too sudden movements with him around "You two are making way too much noise, and at this point, it doesn't matter whose fault it was! Do you think Herbert would've called out to you, which was a stupid thing to do out in the open like that, in case you two hadn't realized it, if he blamed you for what happened?"
Herbert looks down, clearly ashamed. Nikolo on the other hand meets Thomas' eyes.
"Actually, I fully expected him to have dragged me here for accusations and yelling. But now that that's clearly not the case, I'd like to know why he called out to me in the first place."
"That makes two of us; I've specifically told him that he mustn't come outside. He hasn't so far, so why now?" Thomas says, fully turning around on the bench to look at Herbert, who turns his head away immediately.
"…I just wanted you to know that you didn't get in to all that trouble for nothing." he says, looking at Nikolo "While it's Thomas who's been hiding me all this time, I got away that night because of you, and you paid the price for it."
"Don't mention it; it was about time I actually did something about things instead of quietly fuming about what people did" Nikolo says with a wave of his hand, and meant it. It pleased him, for it meant that he had become at least a bit better person than he used to be. "I knew for it all to be wrong for so long, yet didn't really do anything to…"
Nikolo trails off, realizing that he probably shouldn't say too much. Herbert wouldn't be a problem no matter what he heard, but Thomas… even though he'd helped an Eldian himself, he could still become a problem, due to misplaced kindness if nothing else. To his relief, Thomas didn't latch on to what he said. In fact, Nikolo wasn't sure if the man had even been listening; he seemed to be having some unspoken conversation with Herbert, if the looks on their faces and their subtle movements were anything to go by. He considered asking what that was all about, but decided to let it be despite being curious. After all, he had his secrets, too.
Clearing his throat to get their attention, Nikolo asks: "So, is there anything I can do to help?"
"No" Thomas answers right away, finally tearing his eyes away from Herbert "No. You've done enough and gotten in enough trouble for it. I'll handle this from now on."
He said it in a way that was surprisingly final, but Nikolo had his own thoughts to add to that.
"What if you get sent elsewhere? I get that you've been positioned here for long term, but if there's an emergency or some shortage of staff, you might still have to leave this place. What would Herbert do then? Even if you kept renting the place, how would he get food? And what about long term, do you plan to hide him here, or some other apartment you rent, until one of you is gone?"
"I'll figure something out, eventually. And I don't think you have any solution to the second problem either, do you?"
He doesn't.
"Didn't think so" Thomas huffs "Don't worry; I have everything under control. If I do get called somewhere else, I'll figure something out."
Thomas didn't want to argue further, but at least Nikolo got him to promise that if he had to leave the city and didn't come up with anything in time, he'd let him know. It's not like Nikolo knew what he'd do or where he'd help Herbert hide if needed, but he'd try to figure that out beforehand, just in case.
They left the subject at that, and for a while, they tried for casual chitchat as Herbert refilled their mugs, after throwing away the cold tea of course, but it didn't go so well. After all, Nikolo had gotten out of the hospital only recently and had yet to figure out what to do, Herbert had been stuck inside for months, and Thomas didn't have much going on besides work, which he couldn't really talk about. Nikolo ends up leaving after finishing his tea, and surprisingly, Thomas follows him. Nikolo doesn't question it as they leave, for he figures that he wants to talk about something out of Herbert's earshot, but after five minutes of walking in silence, he gets tired of waiting for the man to say something.
"Why did you come along?"
Thomas glances at him, taking a while before giving an answer.
"Don't get involved in this. I mean it, Nikolo. What I'm doing is dangerous, and you've already done more than enough for him considering the price you paid. Just stay away."
Nikolo understood where Thomas was coming from, and if he managed to protect Herbert on his own, like he had done so far, he had no intention of interrupting. But if they needed his help… he told Thomas as much, again, and the man just sighs as an answer.
"Care to tell me now why you helped him? And don't give me the bullshit of not knowing; even if you didn't know your own motives when you did it, you've had plenty of time to think about it. By now, you must have gotten your thoughts in order."
As he says this, they round a corner and come to a busier street. Nikolo allows the silence as there are too many people around, but once they step in to a quieter area again, he raises a questioning eyebrow at Thomas.
"I think… I think I just wanted to understand you better. Why you act the way you do, why you went as far as you did. When I saw Herbert, I realized instantly he was one of those friends of yours, and connected the dots that the rebelling soldier must've been you. I didn't want you to get in trouble for nothing."
Nikolo looks at his friend in disbelief. He'd taken such a huge risk and helped Herbert for so long, just for him? Why? They were never that close, were they? And was it his imagination, or was there a red hue on Thomas' face? It's not like the sun was setting yet, there was still an hour or two to that, so it wasn't just a trick of light… maybe the hot tea had made him red, and Nikolo just hadn't paid attention to it until now? That could explain it.
"Guess you're a better person than I thought" he settles on saying, and when Thomas looks at him, a little angry, or so it seems, Nikolo shrugs "You specifically followed me out to my jogging routes, more than once mind you, to check who I spent my free time with. Doesn't exactly give the best impression, you know."
Thomas frowns.
"Point taken, but even then, I was just looking out for you."
Nikolo figured he'd say that, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why Thomas went so far for him. He wondered if he should just ask, but felt like he wouldn't get an honest answer. If it was something Thomas was willing to tell, he would've already told it to get his point across better. He looks at the man, walking at a steady pace at his side. The red hue was gone now, but it had been there. Could Thomas… no, Nikolo shook his head, realizing he was thinking of weird things. Thomas was simply someone loyal to a fault once he became friends with someone, and that's that. It's the explanation that made sense.
They come to an area more familiar to Nikolo, and Thomas decides to turn back, but not before telling him to stay out of trouble. Nikolo protests that he's not a trouble magnet, and while Thomas doesn't say it, the curve of his lips makes it clear he doesn't quite agree. Nikolo rolls his eyes once the man is gone and heads back home, now in an environment familiar enough to not have to pay attention to his surroundings. Not that it was as good of a thing as it sounded, for it was a good chance for unwelcome thoughts to surface in his mind. He thought about Jonas, about what he could've done differently… if he hadn't dared the guy to go to the island the first time, would this second time ever have been there?
Nikolo shakes his head. If he wasn't going to let quilt about Helmut's death ruin him, he shouldn't let this do it, either. He'd made his mistakes, and that was unfortunate, but now he had to focus on the future.
Future that would include Grior, at least tomorrow. The guy already had so much dirt on him that Nikolo doubted trying to fish information from him would get him in trouble; if Grior wanted to throw him to the dogs, he would've done so long ago. Still, the guy knew him, so getting information from him would be hard if he didn't want to give it. But for Jonas' sake, Nikolo was up for the challenge.
